Bittersweet are the memories of youth….


” If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intention
of doing you good, you should run for your life.”

~~ Thoreau’s Law ~~


Sharing Tiki secrets….

Hajime…. Having spent more than five years using this blog process as a means of retaining what sanity I may claim, it seems Reality, in its most significant manifestations, is demanding I give it up, in favor of survival, in a very real sense. The condition in which current Reality has been configured by human culture is beginning to resemble our nature, which is somewhat unstable, a generous description, at best. The population has grown, and continues to grow, beyond the planet’s ability to sustain us in any degree of comfort, showing no signs of establishing any rational limits to its growth.

This, of course, is a self-regulating issue; the problem is, the regulatory process will, in its most basic permutation, kill most of us in its manifestation. We are rapidly approaching the possibility of more than one sort of catastrophic adjustment in Nature, and making no preparations to deal with whatever may occur to bring the population down to a manageable size, or, eliminate us altogether…. Hell, you couldn’t get more than a single percent of that population to admit there may be a problem; they’re too busy creating it to notice…. Homo suicidus, indeed….

Knowing this, I am finding the creation of these Pearls to be, not tiresome, or tedious, but, difficult to justify, in terms of how it may help me to survive. For the time I’ve been writing, it has served me well, as a balm to my injured soul, and, a means of striking back at the demons who live in my head, as a result of my experiences with the violent side of human nature for so long. Now, my sense of danger from the death throes of human culture has reached a critical point, where I must decide whether to continue this process, or, let it go, & do what can be done to prepare for the upcoming disturbances, so clearly imminent in my understanding. A hard rain’s a gonna fall, ffolkes, and I need to replace my umbrella with one a bit more sturdy….

This means, in the near future, I may decide to disappear, as far off-grid as I can safely get to; there are still assessments to be completed, and preparations to be planned & carried out. But, be sure, at some point, I will be ready, and will just go, probably without much of a ripple in the waters of reality. For now, I guess I’ll see if Smart Bee is in a mood to share. If so, we’ll finish up this mess, & post what I’ve got. If not, well, I guess I’ll see what happens then…. For now, let’s do this, & go see what there is to find….

Shall we Pearl?

“Only the half-mad are wholly alive.”

~~ Edward Abbey ~~



Naturally, since I’m cutting things short today, we’ll go with the first, best classical collection I can find… I hope you enjoy it; if not…. Oh, well. Can’t say I’m not trying….


Classical Music





Measures of Intent

Hell is never far away; it slips in, then out,
like a ninja, bent on stealth and death.
Living metamorphoses, in the space of a breath,
sordid entropy fills us, within, and without.

Tide turns again; back and forth it tumbles,
like those little wind up toys, yet never stays.
All our efforts, all our silly little ways,
disappear like seaweed, as sanity crumbles.

The duality of reality in which we are firmly caught,
seems to inhabit every part of our natural selves.
Nothing is ever still, nor can it be placed on shelves;
we are dark, and light; balance must be taught.

Life is lived only one moment at a time,
past and future have no power to alter this at all.
We can choose to fly, or choose to fall;
finding truth, and beauty, can never be a crime.

~~ gigoid ~~




Naked Pearls

Notes on Process and Program….


“Civilization is fun! Anyway, it keeps me busy!!”

~~ Zippy the Pinhead ~~


“Fate is a river; free will is a paddle.”

~~ Subtle Bee ~~


“I don’t believe that life is supposed to make you feel good,
or make you feel miserable either.
Life is just supposed to make you feel.”

~~ Gloria Naylor ~~


“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.”

~~ Cicero ~~


“Joy is wealth and love is the legal tender of the soul.”

~~ Robert Green Ingersoll ~~


“I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.”

~~ H. L. Mencken ~~


“Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”

~~ Norman Cousins~~



Well, I pushed it, shoved it, patted it, and lied to it (no, just kidding…), and, well, it’s done. I won’t deny I did it, but, I’m pretty sure I won’t be sending it to the Pulitzer Committee, either. Since it IS done, I’m going to go find other stuff to do. I will also say, I’ll probably be back tomorrow; still too much to be done before I can get away as I wish, so, I may as well use the process to blow off any built up insanity that may accrue. Or, not; time will tell, won’t it? It usually does. Me, I’m outta here…. See ya, ffolkes, if I don’t explode first….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.


“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch


À bientôt, mon cherí….


Confused? Two words: muskrat love…..

I got bitten yesterday, by the poetry bug. It stung enough that I had to write a haiku to ease the pain…..

Immediately Haiku

Sometimes the best way
is to begin
at the first spot.
Other times, not.

gigoid did it…blame him…

What better way to begin a day? I could think of a couple offhand, but they would both involve items not currently in stock……this will do for a Monday…..

“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them– words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear.” — Stephen King

This is an incredibly perceptive observation, and a clearly stated manifesto of belief in the power of our humanity, as well as our vulnerability. I know Stephen King is very popular as an author, but I can say truthfully that, though I read a LOT, I’ve never read one of his novels. It’s not him, it’s his genre (which he pretty much owns outright), to wit: horror stories. Every plot I’ve ever seen of his outlined on the jacket sleeve or back cover of a book sent me packing off to what subjects I will read; I decline to deliberately promote nightmares, and I’ve never been a fan of gore. Probably comes with hating the sight of my own blood. 

While my tastes in reading material are eclectic, from cereal boxes to box sets of just about any subject, they’ve never included horror; either movies or books. Life and Reality have always been plenty full of events, thoughts, people, and situations that are scary or frightening; that has always been enough for me. I’ve never particularly enjoyed the whole adrenaline scene, other than when necessary to preserve one’s health or welfare. I don’t need to deliberately put myself through the whole “scared me so bad I had nightmares” scenario; it’s not my idea of fun and relaxation.

Sure, little zaps of adrenaline can be cool; addictions always are at first. That’s why skiing, para-gliding, cliff diving, and such activities are popular, for that little bit of bloodthirsty savage in all of us, almost hoping for a crash. Even I learned to (perversely, but predictably) enjoy, and utilize the adrenaline one finds in martial arts, and real-time fighting, an activity I encountered on a weekly basis as part of my work, but it isn’t something I recommend, especially for the faint of heart, or their cousins, the bleeding hearts. There are better ways to get kicks like that, ways that don’t include subjecting one’s self, or one’s sensibilities to the indignity of near-death experiences, either real, or out of someone else’s demented mind….

Nonetheless, not being partial to his books doesn’t prevent me from observing, with admittedly some surprise, that the above paragraph demonstrates a pretty keen mind at work. A mind that clearly sees more of the corners, light and dark, in human nature than I had thought it would. In retrospect, though, I shouldn’t feel surprised, for it would explain why he is able to so easily put his finger on the the darkest, deepest wounds and weak points in our collective consciousness.

Only by feeling an equal degree of joyous celebration, of humble gratitude in service to others, or any other of the positive expressions of one’s humanity, could one even consider claiming knowledge of the opposite end of the scale. He certainly demonstrates an deep understanding of the duality of the human experience, and from what I understand, writes about it without modern peer. I, however, congratulate him not for that, but for knowing, and attempting to share his understanding of how to keep in touch with the empowering side of one’s own nature…….

“The “Defense of Marriage Act” before Congress was co-sponsored by the divorced Bob Dole and the divorced House Speaker Newt Gingrich. The bill, if it passes, has been promised to be signed by the renowned skirt-chaser President Bill Clinton.  These men tell us that they support the bill because committed, monogamous same-sex unions are an affront to the sacred institution of heterosexual marriage.  Am I the only one a bit confused here?” — James G. Gilbert, Boston in a Letter to the Editor (Globe?)

The part of this that disturbs me is that it had to have been written abut 20 years ago, during Clinton’s white house occupancy. This means that in twenty years, there has been no resolution of a problem that (apparently) is still of primary concern to the voting public. The quotation could have easily appeared in yesterday’s edition of the Globe, and those who believe that heterosexual marriage should be sacred are still acting as if they are under attack. Bills and lawsuits are still being touted and pursued that try to legislate one group’s morality into law; which one will do so remains unclear, though  it escapes me why that should be true, or even an issue.

I find it difficult to believe that more than one court has not already said to the ignoramuses who are bleating about how married homosexuals will cause their own kids to turn gay, “Would you please just be quiet, take your ignorance and prejudices home to your own little cave, and stay there? Leave everyone else alone, it’s none of your expletive business what they do in their own homes. If you want the government to pass judgment on what happens in YOUR home, too, that can be arranged; the Bill of Rights is not Sacred anymore…. but meantime, you’re being a pain, so shut the f…. up!”….. Boy, wouldn’t that be fun to watch!…….

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
— Tao Te Ching

Adding to this, or trying to explain it destroys the clarity of the concepts, so I will leave any comments or thoughts as an exercise for the Gentle Reader……

“I’ll not listen to reason. Reason always means what someone else has to say.” — Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell

I don’t agree at all with this sentiment; it goes against one of my most basic beliefs, if what it says is what I understand it to say, regarding communication and its importance in our relationships with others.  In fact, I had reacted so strongly to reading it that I had written two paragraphs of scathing satire about Mrs. Gaskell, even sinking so low as to mock her name, and make poor jokes about her relations, before I came to my senses, and halted the tirade. I hated to delete it; part of it was some of the funniest stuff I’d done in a while. As it turns out, reading what I’d written after a short session with Google, I was ashamed at myself, both for jumping to conclusions, and mouthing off without thinking of consequences.

You see, as I finished my mini-rant, it occurred to me that I knew nothing about this person; zip, zilch, never heard of her. Boy, am I ignorant, or what? It turns out she was one of the most prolific and successful British authors of the 19th century, during the time of Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, along with others of her ilk and gender. Wikipedia tells me she reportedly wrote passionately powerful novels about the tragic suffering in the lives of the poor families living in cities, with which she was well-acquainted, having worked for many years as a nurse in charity and ministerial work with her husband, a Unitarian minister.

These programs ministered to the poor and afflicted of British urban centers, some of the first heavily industrialized cities in Europe. Her books were very popular and successful, both with the public, and with doctors, who benefited from the attention given to the diseases prevalent among poor populations in the urban areas. She is credited with responsibility for inspiring many reforms and changes in the attitude of the entire medical community toward this area of medicine, and the treatment of disease.

Not exactly a good candidate for a sarcastic rant, eh? That will teach me to think before typing, for sure…. it would have been very embarrassing to have published that without researching it; I’d probably have instigated the ire of anyone with a moderate knowledge of English literature in the century before last, and deservedly so…..

Oh, well. Do I get any points for copping to being nearly stupid and unnecessarily cruel? No? Well, that’s okay…. don’t want to reward ineffectively. “Still alive” is enough of a reward after attacks of near stupidity; ‘nearly stupid’ has been known to cause “not still alive”, or “he’s dead, Jim. You get his wallet…” to happen to those who aren’t sufficiently alert to the possibility……

I’ve done so much, with so little, for so long, that now I can do anything with nothing.

I cannot say that I’ve quite reached this level of expertise, but I can say that the attempt to do so is one of my small set of critical  priorities; doing without has become a way of life. It has its advantages, which are, sadly, amply offset by the disadvantages, making it neither good nor bad, merely survivable. I don’t go out, to eat, or drink, or visit folks; no car and no money to support either activity, as most everyone I know locally is at least a few miles away. Too far for walking anyway, and I ain’t asking for no handouts such as a ride; I don’t bring much to the table for the near future, at least.

I have enough to cover my basic needs for shelter and food (mostly), and a bit left over for phone & internet, to stay sane. That’s it, so I try to stay aware that it is more than half the world has to survive with. Until my Social Security kicks in, this is reality, so I’m just hunkerin’ down & stayin’ alive…. it’s a good thing I enjoy my own company….. cyber-relationships are cool, but not quite the same as one-to-one contact….. once the SS is approved, life will return to a slightly higher standard of living, one that includes food as a regular budget item, not a luxury…… besides, I need to lose at least 20 lbs, just to stay healthy…. if only that goal didn’t require crunchies, of which I am less than fond…..

I can’t say this has been the easiest Pearl I’ve ever written, but it wasn’t the hardest by a long shot. Still, all things must come to an end; it’s not just smart and healthy, it’s the Law! Until tomorrow, then….y’all take care out there…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.