Tag Archives: The Firesign Theater

21 seems to be all Murphy wants today…. but, 21 what?….

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Ffolkes,

It isn’t often I am favored with obvious clues from the universe as to what is coming up on the agenda….. Therefore, it comes as no surprise this morning that I don’t seem to be able to decode whatever it is trying to tell me with all these rather blatant little pointers, these little precognitive moments….. Moments such as looking up at the clock to note when I begin, to see it is EXACTLY 5:00 AM as I type the first letters….. or that I awoke at EXACTLY 4:30 AM….. or that the EXACT meaning of a word implies a certain complex concept, while simultaneously supplying meaning to a formerly inane title segment…. I wonder if the white raven that was sitting on my chair as I came out of the bedroom has any place in all this?…. Have I ignored TV so long I can’t figure out an obvious plot device like that?…. Maybe….

Actually, the above paragraph is one of those throw-aways of which I am so fond of creating, a collection of meaningless ideas strung together in such a way as to compel one to read it, but never quite reaching a degree of meaning that will offer the reader anything other than the beginning of a headache…. Since I awoke with one that is pushing right through the Norco, making my right eyeball throb like a dub hound’s bass speaker at top volume, I figured, why not share the wealth, eh? If I have to sit here in excruciating pain, with both hips screaming, back muscles threatening spasm, and a throbbing eyeball, it’s the least I can do…..

Not that anyone else deserves the pain I feel almost all the time; I’m still trying to figure out what I did to my karmic burden to cause this state….. If one believes at all in the balance of good and evil in the universe, karma is basic, a system of understanding and approaching life with compassion rather than aggressiveness, and the joy of striving for love, rather than the pain of striving for power….

I do believe in that balance, though it often seems that our neighborhood here in the Universe at Large is somewhat overloaded with folks who don’t feel the same way, spending most of their time in the pursuit of what I consider to be useless stuff, like money, or power over others…. I mean, power over others is EASY to assume, if one has no compassion…. it is much harder, and shows much more inner strength, to be able to have power over one’s self….

SIGH…. The power over ourselves of which I speak often, even mostly, eludes us, though, which is probably a big part of why the world is so screwed up….. Not only that, but, it seems I’ve once again fallen into the trap that often gets me in the mornings…. Another intro section full of nonsense, near-sense, and epiphany…. or what could serve as epiphany, had it occurred inside someone’s head, rather than here on my screen….

Since, however, I’m not one to waste anything I can use, especially if it adds to the word count, I’m keeping all of it, and going on to bigger and better things, if I can persuade myself to stop typing anytime soon…. I’m falling into the “can’t seem to stop” mode that occasionally plagues me….. That CAN be a problem, though it does help in creating these Pearls…. Besides, as I’ve iterated previously, it’s MY blog, right? I can do just about whatever I want, as long as it doesn’t draw the government myrmidons down on me…. or, even if it does…. I’m armed, even if I don’t appear to be…. Not only that, but, I have the power of the pen on my side, and THAT is powerful indeed…. Well, that’s what I’ve heard, anyway…..

Shall we Pearl?…..

“True eloquence consists in saying all that should be said, not all that could be.” — Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld

Aha! That’s been my problem the whole time…. Now, why didn’t I think of that?….. I’ll have to work on that a bit, won’t I?….
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“Are we at last brought to such a humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our own defense? Where is the difference between having our arms in our own possession and under our own direction, and having them under the management of Congress? If our defense be the _real_ object of having those arms, in whose hands can they be trusted with more propriety, or equal safety to us, as in our own hands?” — Patrick Henry

It has been a while since I spoke on the matter of gun control, and the Second Amendment… Since I HAVE done so previously, and in a way I found to be clear, and compelling, I am including that diatribe below… This is from the POVW posted on 11/20/12, a couple of weeks after the national election….
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As I suspected, the news has become a desert…. Since the election settled so many questions that had been paramount, there has been virtually nothing going on that is worth any outrage, and certainly nothing that would stimulate enough angst to produce a rant. The Republicans are all walking around shaking their heads, and wondering where they went wrong, or trying to fool the public into believing they are going to cooperate with the administration (a load of crap if I ever heard one….), and the Democrats can’t stop grinning long enough to get anything done yet…. It’s like watching a video of a particularly exciting Sunday School class…. pretty enough, but boring as hell….

A few items worth discussion have come up…. There is more noise being bandied about regarding gun control again, as I see some folks posting statistics about guns and people getting killed…. What, did they think?…. Were they expecting that, all of a sudden, after the election, human nature was going to change? It always amazes me how much outrage, and surprise, people seem to exhibit when another atrocity killing is brought out by a news outlet. People are going to lose their cool, and their control…. that is a fact of life, and a law of nature.

This issue, of the failure of human nature to control its homicidal urges, isn’t going to change, and wishing otherwise is a fool’s game. In addition to this fact we need to consider another, of equal importance…. guns are real. When they are used to kill, it is not as if the gun is responsible, yet people seem to think that allowing the government to regulate who can have guns, and who can’t, will somehow stop all that from happening. It won’t, and thinking it will is the worst sort of self-delusion….

“Gun Control – the belief that government, with its great wisdom and moral superiority, can be trusted with a monopoly on deadly force.”– Smart Bee

Smart Bee has hit upon the main argument against gun control, as desired by the idiots who think it will help. Sorry, don’t mean to be derogatory, but it is undeniable, inarguable idiocy to think that the government is capable of controlling itself any more than individuals can; what evidence is there to even hint as much? None, none that can be seen, because there is none that can be produced. If you think that the government has even the slightest intention of using such a monopoly with restraint, or with any sort of integrity, well, then, you have fallen into some serious deep shit in your mind, and will need to seriously consider some intensive psychotherapy.

Hell, just take a look at recent statistics as to how many civilians have been gunned down by corrupt cops…. It may surprise you to see that the numbers are at least equal to, if not greater than those deaths by gun that are attributed to civilian citizens. In the town I live in, alone, there have been at least seven civilian deaths at the hands of police, using guns, just this year…. I’ve lived in a lot of rough towns, and in my estimation, this is not a particularly large town, nor a particularly violent one.

“Most people seem to think that trampling individual rights is OK if it is “for the good of society as a whole.”  However, society is but a large number of individuals, and how can harming the individual parts better the whole?” — Andrew Ford, forda@agcs.com

Hearing a government official claim that by restricting a right it is good for society as a whole is, to me, the very same as hearing someone wearing robes and a conical, comical hat, claim they are looking out for ‘my’ interests over their own…. I’m not gonna buy it, not now, not ever. There is NO TIME when it is acceptable to restrict an individual’s rights, unless their exercise of that right is denying the rights of another. Doing so is entering the slippery slope that leads to the loss of that right. The good of society does not lie in that direction, but rather in a direction that protects that right, and all of the others we were left as our legacy.

Hearing ANYONE say they are acting “for the good of society” reminds me of the thief saying he is taking my things “for my own good”….. it doesn’t compute. Nor would I trust it if it did…. I may be a cynic, but in this case, I know I’m right…. The beloved ruling class is NOT going to look out for your best interests, or mine…. No matter how often they say they are, or how often they try to convince you, they are NOT going to do that. They are trying to control you, and screw you, and unless you hold on to your rights, and protect them with your own gun, then they will continue to try to take them away…. Sad, but true….

“Sure, understanding today’s complex world of the future is a little like having bees live in your head!  But…. there they are!!!. . .” — The Firesign Theater, “I Think We’re All Bozos on this Bus!”

I have made friends with the bees in my head; they know that I am armed and dangerous, to anyone who tries to convince me that our beloved ruling class has my best interests at heart. They don’t, and never have done…. I know this to be factual, and continued attempts to try to convince me otherwise are not only doomed to failure, but are likely to prompt an unexpected response; I can personally guarantee it will be one they will regret…. And, if they so decide, well, all I can say is “just desserts”….
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POETRY, n.  A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

I don’t pretend to always understand exactly what Emily was up to in her poems; to try to unravel the mind of a poet, and a woman poet, seems to me to be a task fraught with both frustration and danger; hence, my reluctance to approach that task…. However, understanding is, fortunately, not a prerequisite for enjoying her poems…. I hope you do, too…. Enjoy them, that is….. At least it’s not a magazine….

‘T was just this time last year I died.
   I know I heard the corn,
When I was carried by the farms,–
   It had the tassels on.

I thought how yellow it would look
   When Richard went to mill;
And then I wanted to get out,
   But something held my will.

I thought just how red apples wedged
   The stubble’s joints between;
And carts went stooping round the fields
   To take the pumpkins in.

I wondered which would miss me least,
   And when Thanksgiving came,
If father’d multiply the plates
   To make an even sum.

And if my stocking hung too high,
   Would it blur the Christmas glee,
That not a Santa Claus could reach
   The altitude of me?

But this sort grieved myself, and so
   I thought how it would be
When just this time, some perfect year,
   Themselves should come to me.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~

_____________________________

Though I am up, and awake, and relatively free of major pain (I DID take my meds upon arising, so it’s all under control, for the moment….), there isn’t a whole lot that is sticking in my head for long…. I seem to be unable at this point of maintaining any train of thought for long; that’s the main reason I went with an old rant in section one. Fortunately, not as much mental effort is needed to produce an old-school pearl, so, that’s what we’ll do now, and hope for the best…..

“He is nearest to the gods who knows how to be silent.” — Marcus Porcius Cato (234-149 BC), attributed

“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” — Hubert H. Humphrey, 1965

“Among mankind money is far more persuasive than logical argument.” — Euripides

“Life is cruel? Compared to what?” — Edward Abbey

“Every day should be passed as if it were to be our last.” — Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 633

“We have met the enemy and they are us and you are me and we are all together” — Walt Kelly, Lennon, and the Beatles

“If you can see a thing whole… it seems that it’s always beautiful. Planets, lives…But close up, a world’s all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life’s a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. You need distance, interval. The way to see how beautiful the earth is, is to see it as the moon. The way to see how beautiful a life is, is to see it from the vantage point of death.” — Ursula K. Le Guin, Dispossessed

Sometimes, the less effort I put into these pearls, the better they turn out…. like this one, which became a quite excellent little monograph on human nature, and Life at Large…. Serendipity hides all over the place, neh?….
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Having arisen at a time that is, for me, of late, rather late, I am somewhat later getting done…. I hope that hasn’t adversely affected this Pearl; I hate when that happens!…. Let’s go see….

Once again, through a process I don’t fully understand, this came out okay…. Enough so that it can go out, just the way it is, with only minor proofing, and a lot of hope…. I hope somebody reads it, that is…. See ya next time…..

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Initial ethical alignments are in progress….

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    Ffolkes,

I made a small tactical error this morning…. Before I started to write this, I read an email, and took a few moments to consider what it had to say….. It was yet another unwelcome begging letter from Organizing for Action, the grassroots fund raising organization formed after Obama’s second election victory… This organization sends me at least two emails every day, each with another call to action, based on whatever political dust-up is currently on tap, followed by a request for money. The calls to action lately relate mostly to the news of what is happening in Congress regarding the current budget mess….. Each email tells me how critical it is that I send them money, or the big, bad Republicans, who have already raised more money than we have (“we” being the good guys, the White House myrmidons as opposed to the Republican myrmidons….), will shut down the government…

I’m torn at the prospect of seeing the massive bureaucracy we call our government grind to a halt; if nothing else the NOISE that is generated is offensive, consisting as it does of the cries of innocent victims, the cacophony of outraged citizens, the outlandish accusations and blame-throwing by both political parties, and the wails of frustration from ffolkes like you and me, who cannot comprehend the depths of ignorance that are being displayed on a daily basis in Washington D.C….. However, on the other hand, as Will Rogers said, the people never suffer so much as when Congress is in session, so, having the whole ball of wax inactive could conceivably do some extensive good, just by not doing anything….

My mistake, as you can see, was allowing the email’s content to get under my skin…. Here we are, government shut down, everything in society at sixes and sevens, and the best they can come up with is, send us $5, so we can fight back?…. What a crock! How stupid do they think people are? Obviously, pretty stupid, as they just continue with their begging, no matter what is going on, or how much they’ve collected…. I guess, for every million emails they send out, they probably have a couple thousand assholes who would send money to Mars, if the politicians asked them to, so they just keep sending them out, relying on the power of statistical percentages to keep the money flowing into their coffers…..

This whole situation is one that brings me to a point where my only reaction is “So? They’re screwing us again? So, what else is new?” I am not only outraged, frustrated, and sad at the ignorance and sheer idiocy currently on display in Washington, I am becoming bored with it…. The same old bullshit, not even dressed in new clothes, keeps falling at our feet, disgorged on a daily basis by people who seem to be congenital liars, thieves, and just plain assholes, ‘scuse my French, which I’m allowed to say because their actions indicate nothing else…. As I said…. BOORRRING…..

We are hearing the same old story, told at the same old stand, by the same old shameless people, insulting us with the same old lies…. I’d be angry, but, it’s more depressing than it is enraging, because of the simple fact that most people in this country not only don’t know they’re being lied to, but, when it is pointed out to them, they try to rationalize, rather than reject…. Rather than admit they have been in error, they’d rather try to justify being wrong, and refuse to change….

It’s saddening, and maddening, to see the LACK of intelligence and independence of spirit that once characterized this country and its people… The American public has turned into a massive crowd of willing slaves to their corporate masters, proud of their ignorance, filled with a false sense of both their own worth, and their entitlement to rights and privileges not earned.

Hmm… I see that I’ve again usurped the intro section to vent… If I have any hope of completing this Pearl by the usual time, I’d better get on with it…. Just consider this your starting point, and I’ll dive in here to begin the search for some outsourced wisdom for us to consider this morning….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“If you are beginning to doubt what I am saying, you are probably hallucinating.” — The Firesign Theater, _Everything you know is Wrong_
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“It does no harm just once in a while to acknowledge that the whole country isn’t in flames, that there are people in the country besides politicians, entertainers, and criminals.” — Charles Kuralt

Mr. Kuralt, while correct in his statement, mostly, forgets to include one stupidly large, important group connected to the groups he mentions above, to wit: the huge number of IDIOTS among the unwashed masses who support the politicians, admire the celebrities, and regard the criminals as just another form of entertainment, unless it touches on them directly. It is a disturbing thought to realize the number of people who believe that politicians are honest, who think celebrities are role models, and who regard TV as the closest approach to reality they intend to tolerate…..

In part, he IS right, though…. There ARE people who don’t hurt others as their basic modus operandi…. There are people who don’t vote for thieving assholes (Though that’s a tough one to avoid, given that practically everyone who runs for office falls into that category…. I guess I mean that a lot of people vote for someone on the ballot, without fully realizing they are being lied to…. Mostly, I think they have suspicions, but vote anyway, because they can’t imagine any alternatives….)

Society does not consist solely of those who monopolize the news every day; it is simply the case that those people don’t fit into one of those categories that make compelling news stories, so they aren’t ever written up like those who lie, cheat, and steal, whether that criminality is expressed in Washington D.C. in an office building, in a sound studio, or on the mean streets… Actors end up in this group because they show the unwashed masses what the politicians and criminals are up to in stories and films….

“You could drop a leaflet or a Hubbard squash on the head of a person in any land, and you would almost certainly hit a brain that was whirling in small, conventional circles.” — E. B. White

Hence, due to what sells the best, those three groups end up on the news, in theaters, and on our TV’s, phones, and computers, all day and night, with all the bells and whistles they can figure out how to hang on them…. Since that is all there is to see, it is easy to start to believe that these are all there is, and the world is nothing more than one big illusionary collection of people and events that has no direction, other than straight to Hell in a Hummer….

Yes, there ARE other people in this country other than those three groups…. but, they aren’t making the news, are they? They’re watching it, and, sadly, mostly keeping their mouths shut…. which is pretty much why Hell is only a few miles away now…..

“Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one  man. How’s that again?  I missed something.” — Robert A. Heinlein

This will be a short rant, since I count it as merely a continuation of the first section; it’s a slight change of subject, but, not much, if one looks closely…. Besides the entertainment value of ranting, for me, it’s also my indictment of the very people who are dominating today’s headlines, so, I’m good with however it comes out, to be honest…. I’m disgusted, and disappointed, and a large number of other adjectives that indicate similar feelings, directed at the ‘assholes on parade’ we’re forced to watch… So disgusted, I am going to stop here, because it’s just making me crazy, and want to break things….

“In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it.” — Daniel Waters, screenwriter of HEATHERS
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For me, poetry has as much, or more, power to take my mind away as does the best prose, or the best films, and runs a parallel course with the words of someone I love, in how strongly I can be affected in my emotions….. In that light, my favorite poets are favored, not because of how popular or famous they are, but because of how I feel when I read them… From this poet, I always find both the power of elegance and beauty, and hope for the spirit we entail as humans….

As Once the Winged Energy of Delight

As once the winged energy of delight
carried you over childhood’s dark abysses,
now beyond your own life build the great
arch of unimagined bridges.

Wonders happen if we can succeed
in passing through the harshest danger;
but only in a bright and purely granted
achievement can we realize the wonder.

To work with Things in the indescribable
relationship is not too hard for us;
the pattern grows more intricate and subtle,
and being swept along is not enough.

Take your practiced powers and stretch them out
until they span the chasm between two
contradictions…For the god
wants to know himself in you.

~~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~~

_____________________________

What you will find below is a Classic pearl… It chose itself, which is the primary characteristic that sets this type apart; when I furnish the parameters for inclusion, the outcome is of a different nature. For some reason, probably having to do with magic, or something, this kind always comes out stronger, and stranger, and more beautiful in execution of the humorous parts, if not always more elegantly attractive due to the identifiable sources involved….

If any of that is comprehensible to you, I think you could consider yourself to be a regular…. It’s clear that you have a “different” sort of mind, for which logic and compassion dictate that one suggest, it possibly would be smart to make an appointment with your psychiatrist, should you have one…. If you don’t, I’m bound to remind y’all, the law requires you to engage one, if you spend more than the recommended amount of time pearling; you can get around that requirement by keeping your certificate of sanity at hand, as provided to you at birth, and again at your graduation from high school….. That IS what they gave us, right?…. I lost the one I got at birth, but, I just thought they gave me a new on at the commencement exercises in 1968…. Oh, well, no es importante, si?…

Just so it’s all clear… If it doesn’t say who said it, I found it in Smart Bee without any attribution….. and Google didn’t know either…. or possibly, it didn’t care…..

“It’s so clean. It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.”

“My main reason for adopting literature as a profession was that, as the author is never seen by his clients, he need not dress respectably.” — George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

“Some professors asked a monk to lecture to them on  spiritual matters. The monk ascended a podium, struck it once  with his stick, and descended. The academics were dumbfounded.  The monk asked them, “Do you understand what I have told you?”  One professor said, “I do not understand.” The monk said, “I have concluded my lecture.”

“A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice.” — Thomas Paine [Author of the Declaration of Independence and even more, but no politician.]

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.” — Brendan Gill

“I hope I never get so old I get religious.” — Ingmar Bergman

NLTDB  🙂  🙂  :-):   Nothin’ Left To Do But Smile, Smile, Smile.
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“Okay,” he said, self-consciously, “not bad.” Small cough…. “Not bad at all….” Larger cough…. “I wonder if anyone will read it?”, was his next plaintive question, so I kicked him out of my head…. But, after I caught my breath from coughing, I realized that, yes, it wasn’t bad at all, so, I can quit now, which is probably for the best, for all of us…. See ya tomorrow, ffolkes…

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Plainly, it isn’t wise to bump OR grind….

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Ffolkes,
While it is true that I did travel there at one time, the stories that have been circulating regarding my, allegedly, legendary trip to Kansas have been exaggerated to an extreme…. I left no broken hearts, or heads, behind, no dead bodies were found in my hotel room, nobody got married, pregnant, or abandoned, and that dwarf wasn’t even looking for me! And, while I’ll admit I was talking to the old lady with the dog and the pony, it isn’t true I was trying to retain their services; that pimp wasn’t even in the room with us!…. The reporter just got mad because I lied to him about the priest…. So, you can just put aside your shock and disgust, as none of it actually happened, and if it did, it wasn’t my fault! It was those damned girl scouts, with their damned cookies!….

Hi there….. Regarding that first paragraph: you may ignore it at will…. No excuses, and no complaints, I guess. I wrote it pre-coffee, so I can’t put the same expectations on it that are valid post-salvation. Given that stricture, it isn’t too bad, all in all, though I think I could have been a bit more graphic in the line about the dwarf…. a dwarf is always good for some laughs, but you’ve got to use good imagery, or you lose the total effect of the contrast in their overall appearance when interacting with, shall we say, less fascinatingly grotesque creatures, such as ourselves….. In my opinion, I could have been clearer in my expression there…. Oh well, tomorrow’s another day, and the dwarf is on retainer….

Now what? Here we are, three paragraphs in, and, so far, nothing is manifesting itself for inclusion. I’m beginning to think I’m going to have to just break down and write a template introduction, that I can just plug in each day at the start, to get me moving, in SOME direction, if not on a specific vector…. You know, something like, “Here’s today’s news,,,,”, or, “Another day dawns without hope here in America….,”, or, “OMG, shut that window, NOW!”…. You know, something gripping, that will pull ffolkes in without hurting or insulting them, and lead them gently into the body of the Pearl…. I’ve considered this idea for some time now; it’s an attractive one, that could conceivably save me a lot of time and worry over getting the intro done…..

But, what fun would that be? I think part of what I enjoy about blogging like this is the freedom I feel to NOT restrain myself in such ways, to allow myself the mental freedom to go anywhere my crafty little grey cells want to go, and say whatever I want to say, within the bounds of good taste and compassion… I do skate a bit close to the edge of the one about good taste, so it’s good for me to keep watch on that….. and if I cop out and make a template, that sense of alertness might get dulled from disuse….. All of our mental strengths are exactly like muscles, and will grow soft and useless if not exercised, so it’s good for me in that sense to have to be creative, in a small way, each morning, first thing….

Plus, it gives me the opportunity each morning to put together five or six of these nonsensical gems, full of absolutely diddly squat (hmm… Spell Checkers are funny… it didn’t like “diddly”, but was okay with “squat”… Oh, right, that’s actually a word… What, they’ve never heard of Bo Diddly?….never mind…), which I find to be both a good warm-up for the typing fingers, and a good warm-up of the grey cells, giving the coffee a chance to work its magic before I get into anything serious (And, as long as I can avoid the use of too many parenthetical comments in one paragraph)…. Yesterday’s intro, which grew into a pretty good-sized rant, happened for just that reason, to wit: I got into what I was writing before the coffee was fully on board….. a dangerous habit to form….

Why look! What’s this? I do believe it’s happened again! I’ve found another complete intro section, just laying here, ready to go…. What do you know about that? Now, don’t get all antsy, and upset with me…. SOMETHING has to go in this section, so what’s wrong with some deliberate nonsense, and a bit of prattle? Nothing, that’s what… Besides, it’s all finished now, so you won’t have to try to figure out if it will ever get anywhere significant…. It won’t. It’s done, It’s time to dive…. Shall we Pearl?…..
__________________________________

“Better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a lamb.” — Smart Bee

I’m in a mood today, one that, if typical of such, will not yield to any sort of alteration or modification into something less abrasive, or more tasteful… In other words, I don’t know why, but I feel like biting somebody. I have no reason to feel this way; all is proceeding quite smoothly in my life just now, pretty much, so I don’t have any really good reasons to feel grumpy.

No excessive pain going on, money and food are in the house, computer’s functioning well, as is the internet service. I have plenty of reading material, and I just finished watching all seven Harry Potter movies last night. I could ask for fewer sirens at night stopping just up the block, but, alas, there is nothing I can do about my neighbors’ behavior late in the evenings…. My lady friend isn’t feeling well, but, I think, and hope, she will feel better, so I’m only worried a little about that, not enough to cause a grump….

I could also ask for Social Security to move a bit faster, but, they have already shown me over the last two years what their typical pace is…. Their bureaucracy’s automatic cruise control is set at “crawl”, and isn’t going to go any faster anytime soon. I received verbal confirmation of my approval for benefits on Tuesday, the 12th, when the caseworker told me she would be sending out a packet of information for me, with the notice of the granting of my appeal of their original denial (long story….)…

Any who, that was eight days ago, so, I speculated, then, that she might send out the information the next day, or perhaps on Thursday, and I would receive it a couple days later. The office from which the packet is to be sent is here in the same town, so I thought, hmm, two days to go 30 blocks would be a reasonable estimate, even for the USPS, for a 10 X 12 inch envelope…. HAH! So much for speculation about the USPS…. Serves me right for assuming ANYTHING…. Especially for assuming normal behavior from an organization that has already proven to be broken, and abnormally anomalous, or anomalously abnormal, or both….

I suppose I’ve found why I’m grumpy, as these last two paragraphs show on whom my subconscious is placing the blame, squarely…. So, before I give Ms. H., my new case worker at SS a call, to ask WHEN she might be sending the stuff to me, I’m going to put together a pearl, with a specific type of pearls in mind for the search process… those that bring me peace of spirit in some way…. Enjoy!…. Oh, and, given my tendency to not be able to shut myself up, I’ll put any thoughts that occur to me about the pearls in parentheses, which is as usual as it probably is annoying….    😆

“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” — Agatha Christie

“1 four letter word is sometimes worth 1000 pictures.” — Smart Bee

(Which may be why there are so many of them….. We humans are nothing if not hilariously and prolifically vulgar….)

“In the midst of the word he was trying to say,
In the midst of his laughter and glee,
He had softly and suddenly vanished away
— for the Snark *was* a Boojum, you see.”

— Lewis Carroll, The Hunting of the Snark

POETRY, n.  A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

(Ambrose was a Grand Master of Sarcasm, and a social critic of immense genius…. )

” What is it the Bible teaches us? – rapine, cruelty, and murder. What is it the Testament teaches us? – to believe that the Almighty committed debauchery with a woman engaged to be married, and the belief of this debauchery is called faith.” — Thomas Paine — The Age of Reason

(    😳    Sorry, sometimes I can’t help myself…. This one isn’t particularly soothing to most ffolkes, or folks, nor is it part of the connective tissue for this pearl; it just sounded like something I might use for a rant some day, and I saved it before I could stop myself….. Just ignore it, please, or set it aside for later perusal… Thank you for your cooperation….)

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” — Albert Einstein

“Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.” — Spinoza

I don’t know about y’all, but, after those last two, I’m soothed….     Okay, okay, we’re going!   No need to shove!….
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Here is an obscure little poem from Keats; I like it, which is all it needs to get included here…. but, it’s also a nice example of classical romanticism, with precise cadence and rhyming, and very personal imagery… I hope you enjoy it, as I do….

A Dream, After Reading Dante’s Episode Of Paolo And Francesca

As Hermes once took to his feathers light,
When lulled Argus, baffled, swooned and slept,
So on a Delphic reed, my idle spright
So played, so charmed, so conquered, so bereft
The dragon-world of all its hundred eyes;
And seeing it asleep, so fled away,
Not to pure Ida with its snow-cold skies,
Nor unto Tempe, where Jove grieved a day;
But to that second circle of sad Hell,
Where in the gust, the whirlwind, and the flaw
Of rain and hail-stones, lovers need not tell
Their sorrows. Pale were the sweet lips I saw,
Pale were the lips I kissed, and fair the form
I floated with, about that melancholy storm.

~~ John Keats
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“We are the protagonists and authors of our own drama. It is up to us; there is no one left to blame. Neither the system, not our leaders, nor our parents. We can’t go out and hang the first amoeba.” — Rebecca McClen Novick

Oh. My. Goodness. This is the perfect quotation for a rant on global warming, or overpopulation, or climate change, or any of the other immediate threats to our species’ survival one may consider. It begins at exactly the correct point to have a discussion about what might be done, for whatever can be done, can only be done when people admit the need, which, obviously, entails accepting the responsibility for causing it in the first place… Duh!….

But, as I said above, I’m in a mood, which isn’t the time to start ranting…. Outrage is necessary, and a touch of anger to fuel the outrage…. but, in a mood like this, I would likely get vicious, and lose track of what I promised to keep track of, to wit: good taste…. Instead, I’ll do what I always do in such situations, and fall back on yet another old-school pearl… I’ll make it a short one, with only five aphorisms, as small as I can find, on the subject at hand, again to wit: Our own particular brand of human foolishness, or, as I labeled it many years ago, the Principle of Bozoid Tendencies…..

“If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.” — George Bernard Shaw

“These round things Asur has attached to his sled: they take the wood away from the Earth-Mother, they make it move too fast; they turn around and round in a strange, e-ville fashion.  Indeed, they are ungodly, and Asur should be stoned to death forthwith.” — Translated from proto-Indo-European — scratched on clay tablets, circa 6500 BC

“I haven’t committed a crime.  What I did was fail to comply with the law.” — David Dinkins (Mayor, New York City) — Answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

“Yes, many primitive people still believe this myth…But in today’s technical vastness of the future, we can guess that surely things were much different….. I think we’re all Bozos on this Bus!” — The Firesign Theater

“An INK-LING?  Sure — TAKE one!!  Did you BUY any COMMUNIST UNIFORMS??” — Zippy the Pinhead

Well, there you go…. Perhaps I should have known better…. Ah well, at least it’s all over now, but for the shouting….
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I’ll try not to shout so loudly it will awaken those who decided to nap early….. I probably should be ashamed, but, I’m not being paid for any of this, so I have nothing to feel ashamed about, other than the entire content herein…. Too late now, I’m committed…. Or, will be, once I go back and proof it…. which, I will now do, in the interests of getting something else, anything at all, done today…..

It isn’t often I can write myself speechless…. but, there is a first time for everything, I suppose…. Here it is, such as it is…. WYSIWYG, and that’s the truth…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

But, the sign says it will sing……

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4

Ffolkes,
It is a commonly held belief that Time is on our side; this, I can assure you, is not true, from at least one standpoint. I can attest from personal experience that Time, as has been previously noted, is a big PITA (Pain In The Ass)….. and I mean that in a bad way…..

Some women I’ve known have been known to call Time the Time Bitch, and watch in the mirror daily, to search for signs of her bitchiness, in the form of crow’s nests of lines around the eyes, and tangles of grey in the hair. We men, not quite as concerned with the outward signs of aging, nonetheless have our own issues with the Time Bozo, with no less degree of hatred involved…..

It’s hard on men in general to get old, especially since, for most of our lives, we are seen as, and view ourselves as, strong, competent, and able to withstand whatever the world throws at us, in order to accomplish our duty. This strength is hard to give up, but, give it up we must, as our muscles grow weaker, and we tire more easily, no matter how much conditioning we try to maintain. Yes, it’s possible to keep the worst effects at bay for a while, with proper exercise and rest, and a good diet, but, eventually, even the most athletic of seniors must put aside the bikes, and the hikes, and trade it in for an occasional waltz with your lover….

In my own case, I am incensed at how my body is losing function, as I’ve always thought of myself as invincible, perhaps even immortal…. Well, guess what? I’m not either of those things, other than in a metaphysical sense (We are immortal, but not in a recognizable fashion from our current viewpoint in Reality…..), and to be honest, I’m beginning to understand a little better exactly why there are so many older folks running around with a piss-poor attitude. After a while of trying to deal with the things that aging brings with it, the frustration builds up, and there is little choice but to find a way to let it out…. It’s just too bad that other people have to be in the way when that happens, but the other side effect of getting older is that we just don’t give a shit about that….

It’s the one thing that saves us oldsters from getting homicidal, actually, this license to grump. And, whether or not you feel that we are licensed to be so, just remember that we don’t give a shit what you think about it, do we?…. Nope, we don’t. So, get used to grumpy old farts like me toddling around, trying to get our shit done, pushing through our hazes of pain and difficult mobility (you try walking around with 50 lbs. of groceries, being pulled in a hand-cart, riding buses, when your hip is screaming with a pain level of about 7 out of 10, and pain and stiffness in the back at about 5 or 6, having to stand and wait, freezing, for buses that never came, for about 90 minutes…..), while we try to live the way we used to do, but much more slowly…..

I hadn’t intended to rant right off the bat this morning, but what I described in the last paragraph took place last evening, and I guess I’m still a bit pissed about it…. I was the victim of a bus system in the throes of destroying itself through budget cuts and piss poor management, and did actually have to stand at a bus stop for over 90 minutes for a bus that never showed up; I ended up calling a cab, and thank goodness I had a cell phone, or I’d have been stuck walking, two miles from home with 50 lbs. of groceries, part of which was thawing during the delay. By the time the cab arrived, I was in tears, and excruciating pain; it took me almost a full minute to be able to sit down in the seat, I was so stiff, cold, and in pain….

Ah well, I suppose I have to get used to that sort of thing, as our society doesn’t place a large emphasis on caring for the aged. Oh, there’s a lot of talk about respecting seniors, and showing them we care, but, I’m afraid I have to tell you, it’s all just smoke and mirrors…. When it comes down to the sticking point, senior programs are among the first to get budget cuts, far ahead of any cuts to the military, or to bailing out the bankers from their latest scheme to rip off the public….. No, I’m not bitter at all, why do you ask?…..

“Alas! it is not till time, with reckless hand, has torn out half the leaves from the Book of Human Life to light the fires of passion with from day to day, that man begins to see that the leaves which remain are few in number.” — Henry W. Longfellow (1807-1882) — Hyperion, Book iv, Chap. viii

Fuck it…. There isn’t anything I can do about it, so I may as well just bury it, down deep where all the other stuff is kept, the stuff I hate, but can’t do anything about…. That’s okay, though…. all that angst, and bitterness, will sit in there with the other stuff, and percolate, much like compost, until it comes bursting out sometime in the future, as a poem, or a steamy, messy, vicious indictment/rant against….. well, somebody…. In the meantime, I guess the only thing to do is go on with today’s dive, and see if it doesn’t calm me down a bit…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are worth committing.” — Samuel Butler

Smart Bee showed this quote to me this morning first off; I hesitated to use it, though it seems to lend itself to a discussion, and went on. A few moments later, after supplying a few nice pearls for an old-school format, it brought it up again. It usually knows what its doing, so this time I brought it up for treatment here, though still without a clear idea of what to discuss…..

It’s a good thought, and quite accurate in its assumption of human humor as moral mentor. To me, it seems quite obvious…. Then, I realized that, sadly, there is a significant percentage of humanity that possesses NO sense of humor that can be detected. These folks, handicapped as they are by their lack of chillness, often end up in a small category of life tasks, or jobs, as we call them today….

People without any humor tend to flock together in groups; they may not be fully human, but they do need the company of others of their ilk, just like the rest of us. So, they gravitate into professions where their lack of any sense of proportion, or irony, can be an asset rather than a liability, as it tends to be in most of Life’s activities.

Lawyers, accountants, politicians, preachers, all, by virtue of the nature of their work, don’t need a sense of humor; in fact, it slows them down to have one, as they see what they do as important and dignified, no place for levity. They never understand that, by doing so they are acting as the most hilarious of clowns, while being completely oblivious of how ridiculous they appear to the rest of mankind.

A guy calls 911, in breathless panic. When the operator answers, he cries out, “My buddy and I were hunting deer, and he accidentally shot himself! He looks dead! What should I do?” The operator, trained to be calm, says to him, “Okay, first, go make sure that he’s actually dead.” The guy say, “Okay.”, and puts down the phone, The operator hears some footsteps,then, a gunshot. The guy comes back online, and says, “Okay, he’s dead. Now what?”…..

See? That’s funny, right? Since this joke was chosen by a nation-wide search to find out what people thought was the best joke ever, we may assume it is…. Plus, if it isn’t funny to you, then you may want to get examined by a psychiatrist, as you may have lost the sense of humor you once had; quite frankly, it’s bloody hilarious, and quite true to human nature.

That’s all…. I’m going to leave this here, as I can feel my own sense of irony getting heated up, and I’m liable to start spouting off my own funniest stories…. Given my macabre, perilously close to perverted, and often unexplainable sense of humor about almost everything I perceive, especially if it has to do with people and their antics, that could be disastrous…. plus, we’ve got a long way to go yet today. So, I’ll leave this here, and just say this….

We are all Bozos on this Bus, whether we know it or not; it’s not something we have choice in, it is our nature to be clowns. The best, and easiest way to deal with the universe is to accept this, and not try to force Reality into an unnatural shape to suit our own folly, because when people try to do that, they just end up funnier than usual, to the rest of us, as Reality demonstrates its unwillingness to allow any such alteration. As the Firesign Theater said, so many years ago, “If the nose grows, let it show!”….

“Why is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song?” — Steven Wright
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After my experience last night with the bus system here, I’m feeling pretty lazy, unwilling to make any effort to get past my recovery stage. I’m also feeling too tired to go searching for a good poem, so I’m going to resort to the ultimate cheat around here, and include here a poem of my own, from a few months ago; October of last year, to be precise….  It seemed appropriate for the occasion….. You may have seen it then, but, whether or not you did so, I hope you enjoy it….

Raging at Aging

As old as you feel, we are told, is old as you are,
custom assures such vision will carry us far.
Reality begs to differ, may it be so bold
it is really quite painful, and very, very cold.

The power and strength felt in our halcyon youth
desert us with age, yet another unwelcome truth.
Irony rules our time here on this bountiful earth
as we reflect the changes over time since our birth.

As physical powers fade from this fragile shell,
we learn our mind can serve us quite as well.
The strength that once filled our bones and hearts
is now applied by our will, to more arcane arts.

Life’s greatest gift is our freedom of choice
no matter how often we forget, we still get a voice.
Energy, or apathy, by our will we may choose,
failing to do so, our only way to lose.

Each of us lives in the grip of time and space,
always seeking our balance, our own chosen place.
One must accept reality, for it is true at the core,
all we can do, is all we can do, and nothing more.

~~ gigoid
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Today’s Pearl has apparently been taken over by Smart Bee…. In searching for a final pearl to discuss, it kept giving me a series of related quotes, as if it were trying to tell me which way to go…. Since I’m feeling so lazy today, I have allowed it to pick out a seven star pearl for your reading pleasure, and left it to chance that it will have some sort of relevance to reality….

Of course, each of the following, save the second pearl in line, by Mr. Graham, are worthy of an entire pearl alone…. Even the one by Graham is one I could rant on for a while, and have, in his case, in the past….. But, as I look at them all together, I find them to be not so much a pointed lesson, as a group of lozenges to treat the figurative sort throat that swallowing Reality can produce….. Enjoy!….. They taste almost like cinnamon…

“This universe is a trinity and this is made of name, form, and action. The source of all actions is the body, for it is by the body that all actions are done. The body is behind all actions, even as the Eternal is behind the body. — Upanishads (c. B.C. 800)

“God is more interested in your future and your relationships than you are.” — Billy Graham
(Sorry, couldn’t resist including this, as a contrast to the rational material on either side…. this is so full of shit, it would counteract five pieces of real wisdom…. and any number of pearls….)

“It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.” — H.L. Mencken
(Especially after being exposed to Billy Graham….)

“Say not, when I have leisure I will study; you may not have the leisure.” — The Mishnah

“Having a passionate commitment to social justice does not excuse you from knowing what in the hell you’re talking about.” — Smart Bee

“It is good for a man to eat thistles and to remember that he is an ass.” — E. S. Dallas

“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.” — W.L. Bateman
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As I sit here on my sore butt, it occurs to me that I need to get a better chair….. Any who, I’m done for now…. After a short break to clear out the cobwebs, we’ll see how it came out….. Hmm…. well, it will do…. Actually, considering the struggle I’m having today just to keep from screaming at something or somebody, it didn’t come out so badly…. good enough. I won’t tempt fate any further today…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

 

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Sodden reflections of ancient grandeur….

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5

Ffolkes,
It is always easy to give in, to give up…. Even those of us who make an effort to maintain honor and dignity in life, can find ourselves far too often in a position where life will be made easier, in a sense, by giving in to some kind of action that is less honorable than another, or less dignified, at least. For example, I’m sitting here, just allowing my mind to wander, and tears begin to form, along with a stray thought about how hard it is to get by while waiting for my SS money to start. The tears, while all-too familiar these days, are NOT welcome; I’m tired of seeing myself as broken, no matter how broken I am in reality…..

In this instance, giving in means crying because I am so tired of being unable to create much of any quality of life beyond the most basic standards. It also means accepting the weakness of spirit that is implied by the tears, that broken quality so common to those who have been grievously injured in some way. I’m not sure what it looks like from the other side, but from the inside, it is not a good feeling to feel fragile and vulnerable, especially for a big, strong man, who has always been seen as, and regarded himself as, a pillar of strength, both physically, and mentally. All my life I was a superior athlete, and a leader among my peers, intellectually and socially; now I am a recluse, living with constant pain and worry, wondering if my food will stretch to the end of the month, and weeping because I can’t buy anything for my kids for Christmas…..

This blog, and the writing of it, is what has kept me relatively sane for the past year plus that I’ve been writing on WordPress (over 560 posts now, and over 16,000 visitors…. way cool, that….). (Well, I have to add, my sanity has received a lot of bolster and support from my friends, in which I am rich…. as it includes some rather excellent people I’ve met here on WordPress, as well as my life-long friends….without them, I would truly be alone….)

Writing here affords me an area of expression that provides the stress relief I so require, and I am sure that if I had not been able to do this, I would most likely be in jail, and somebody would be dead who wasn’t scheduled to be so….. You see, there are just so many logical targets….. but, once again, that is a form of giving in, and I’m reluctant to do so any more than I already do….. Besides, I’m so broke, I can’t afford a gun, so I’d have to use a knife, and it’s so messy…. Quiet, but messy….

Bah! This is all twaddle, isn’t it? I would guess that it is okay for me to use my own feelings as a springboard to begin, but, to some extent, it almost feels like the very giving in of which I am speaking, a cheap way to find subject matter, to be sure. To me, though, it feels as if I’m being overly sentimental and weak…. and, to some degree, I am. But, I’ll be damned if I’ll feel bad about it….

I spent a lot of years feeling bad about the fact that I felt bad (it sounds a bit confusing, I know…. think about being on the inside of that thought….). One who is injured as I was tends to feel unworthy; first, for allowing the injury to occur, and then for being no longer useful for the purpose being served. It doesn’t matter at all that what was done, was done by necessity, or that it was done correctly, and well; the very fact of being injured is enough to outweigh any logical viewpoints. I’ve learned, for the most part, to not give in to that feeling, as it really isn’t a true feeling; it is one we are taught to feel, by those corporate masters who would have us work on, oblivious….guilt isn’t a natural response, it is taught….

Now, however, those unwanted feelings sneak up on me, like this, in the mornings when I am not yet alert, and send me off into an emotional morass that takes a while to dissipate. This morning, it has taken, what?…. Damn near seven paragraphs written before I feel like I’ve regained some equilibrium…. That is simply too much, and I’m putting a stop to it here and now….. Of course, my sub-conscious mind is rather stiff-necked and stubborn, and my decision may have no effect whatsoever on future outbreaks of angst in the early morning…. but, I must make an effort to control my own mind, or what is the point of having one?….. Shall we Pearl?……

“..  hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub.” — Zippy the Pinhead

(I knew a man once, in reality, whose entire vocabulary consisted of exactly this word, in almost exactly this cadence….. except when he got really upset, then he’d look you in the eye, and say “bastard”, as he took a desultory punch at your nose…. I loved him, dearly…. His existence, while inconceivable to the rest of us, was extremely simplified, and comfortable to him, and, in my view, was not an unreasonable response to a world he did not comprehend, a world in which he lived every moment in fear…..)
__________________________________

Here is a short trio of pearls, old school style, to indicate a certain point (which, as always, is left as an exercise for the Gentle Reader….). Please note, for later reference, the roller coaster characteristics of the path from the beginning to the conclusion…. Taking notes will not be necessary, or graded….

“A little experience often upsets a lot of theory.” — Cadman

“If the King’s English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!” — Ma Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)

“Life is always like high school. Which is interesting, because high school is nothing like life.” — Jon Carroll, SF Chronicle, November 17, 1995.

Hmm….. this is interesting. I’ve noticed previously that Pearls often would take on a completely different meaning if presented in a slightly different order, on those occasions when more than one pearl is used to make a point. At times, the conclusion may be different, while other times may cause the conclusion to remain valid, while the road taken to get to that validity traveled through a different country.

This is kind of like that, except that it is so flexible, I believe it would change its face and clothing no matter which way the three quotes are ordered. In this case, I have merely inverted the order of presentation, to find that the meaning stays the same, relatively, while the path does not….

“Life is always like high school. Which is interesting, because high school is nothing like life.” — Jon Carroll, SF Chronicle, November 17, 1995.

“If the King’s English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!” — Ma Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)

“A little experience often upsets a lot of theory.” — Cadman

Same idea, basically, but it got there on a Segway, not a roller coaster….. I really do love the English language; it is so amenable to torture….. and as an inanimate entity, has no feelings to offend, nor blood to spill…. Well, I guess, given my heavy-handed writing techniques, some blood is unavoidable, but, it cleans up well with a bit of cold water and salt…..

“It is not a fish until it is on the bank.” — Irish Proverb
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Always a hedonist, I have opted today to go with one of my all-time favorite poems….

Where the Sidewalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we’ll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we’ll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

~~ Shel Silverstein
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“Beware the lightning that lurketh in the undischarged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner.” — The First Commandment for Technicians

“Is the printer plugged into the wall power socket? Is the plug wire from the wall plugged into the back of the printer?” — The First Two Questions for the Printer Help Desk Technician

“Did you try to reboot the computer?” — The First Level Help Desk Question

There are many, many more rules, of course, in the technical world, rules whose existence is necessitated by the power and scope of human stupidity. The first one above is, naturally, a corollary of Murphy’s Law of Scientific Endeavor, and one that all those of a geekish nature learn very early in life.

The second and third are indicative of my own experiences as the Computer Technician for a tax business, a large franchise with a number of offices in various cities in the region they served. I installed their networks and tax software, did trouble-shooting for the office computers and systems, set up classrooms for tax classes for taxpayers, and for new employees during the tax season. Essentially, I was their one-person Help Desk, on call for emergencies to any office. Great fun, but hard work, as they weren’t exactly the most well-trained set of managers I’d ever encountered…. but, that’s another story….

“Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other ways.” — The Seventh Commandment for Technicians

I’ve included this one, just because Smart Bee gave it to me so soon after finding the first one, above; I hadn’t known the Commandments had been codified, and didn’t know they, the Commandments, were there in Smart Bee’s database. Each, of course, is suitable as a starting point for a pearl, and together, they can provide some quality moments of laughter at the foibles of human nature we all share.

The second Help Desk question, re: the printer, is drawn from real life experience, which I obtained one time on a call to the office in V___, California. They were unable to tell me why their network printer would not print any of their files over the phone, so I had to go to the office physically to troubleshoot the unknown issue….

Upon arriving, I walked to the printer, to check if it was plugged in to the wall, and that other machines plugged into the same plug were functioning, as I would with any trouble shooting visit. All good….. I then walked over to the printer, where I found the other end of the wire leading to the plug. It was only halfway plugged into the printer, thus would NOT have supplied any power, but looked okay upon cursory examination. Problem fixed, for as soon as I pushed the plug all the way onto the receptor, the machine fired up and started printing out all of the files it had been sent….. thus certifying the veracity of Lazarus Long’s admonition, to wit: “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.”

The saving grace behind our tendency toward bozoid acts of sheer stupidity, is that it also provides us with unending supplies of laughter, at ourselves, and at this crazy world in which we live, or, in some cases, merely spend time. As the Firesign Theater noted in their performance, “I think we’re all Bozos on this bus…..”

None of us, no matter how smart, or competent, or lucky, ever escapes completely from Murphy’s influence, and there is always a reason to laugh at ourselves, if we have the grace of spirit to understand the humorous facets of our own nature. ‘Tis an old Irish proverb that tells us, “There’s no better medicine than a long sleep and a hearty laugh.” Or, it might have been, “a hearty laugh, and a long sleep.” I forget…. so sue me. Oh, crap, that tears it!….

See? Now, my own bozoid tendencies have erupted, and I’m displaying my own proof of my assertions…. Okay, I’m done… quit it. Stop laughing now, I’m done, see?  Never mind, I’ll just go away now, having completely lost all continuity, and probably, all credibility….

🙂
__________________________________

It is probably a good thing that I am beginning to regard the passage of just one day as a significant victory of principle. Or, perhaps it would be clearer and more accurate to say the passage of one day without a) snapping, to the point of giving in to illegal, if entirely justifiable, homicidal urges, b) starving, or c) crying without warning or reason, can be regarded as such a victory.

In which case, I’ve already lost today, on record, so there’s no point in getting all weirded out for the rest of the day…. Here ’tis, damn near 10:00 AM, and I’ve completed today’s Pearl, not without struggle, I admit, but, completely ready to join the “done” category….. Therefore, I shall now cease rambling on, without rhyme, or reason……  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

When budgies sing, eagles sigh…..

Posted on by
1

Ffolkes,
“I know I’ve asked this before, but, tell me, what happens to the wide-eyed observer when the window between reality and unreality breaks and the glass begins to fly?” — Smart Bee

A little prophetic license is good for the soul, especially in the night ahead of the morning to come. Let us play no sad tunes, now, when we have so much about which to be happy. All is not lost, said the man with all his data backed up….. Too bad that isn’t me…. For the nonce, gute nacht….

Now it is morning for real…. It must be, because I’m confused and dismayed, a sure sign of the rising of the sun. Not that I live in a depressive world or anything like that…. It’s more like a cartoon world most of the time….. Just make sure when you draw the cartoon, you include some sort of representation of Murphy; he likes to be acknowledged for his work. And, right now, he’s working overtime on my account, to be sure…..

A few days ago, I dropped my laptop, at the coffee shop, and it took a hard fall to the tile floor, right out of my backpack, as I was taking it off prior to sitting down & booting up. It behaved okay then, booting right up & acting normal, but in the last three days, it has been playing fast and loose with normality, giving me fits. First, it doesn’t recognize my password, and boots up into a new user interface. So, I restart, and it hangs. Finally, on the third try yesterday, it booted up…. only to find that Smart Bee was corrupted again. Fine….. I uninstalled it, reloaded it, and it is now fine. Now this morning, it is acting strange again, changing the boot sequence, hanging, and generally acting as if its innards are scrambled…

Noooooooo! I can’t take it. Don’t take my computer away from me, not yet. I can’t afford a new one; hell, I haven’t finished paying for this one yet. Please, gods of computers, and Murphy, leave me the fuck alone for another few weeks, please…. Once I get my SS money, then I can afford to back this computer up with another one, but, if it goes out before then, I am up shit creek without the proverbial paddle, for sure and for certain…. THAT would not be a good thing, as it would put me at extreme risk of hurting someone, should they poke at me at the wrong moment….. Since Murphy is the Universe’s biggest coward (he never sticks around to help people clean up his messes, and he never takes responsibility for his actions…. QED….), and won’t face his victims, somebody else would be in jeopardy of answering for his doing this to me…..

I have no choice but to go on as if nothing is amiss….. the Pearls must go out….. I will be crossing fingers, toes, and eyes to make sure the damn thing keeps working, but, if you don’t see me for a day or two, know that I am down, offline, kaput, and won’t be posting every day as I have been. I can post, but it will require some time on the library’s computers, which can be hard to book when busy. Ah well, wish me luck, ffolkes, as I try to keep my world from falling apart, infrastructurally….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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As I suspected, the news has become a desert….. Since the election settled so many questions that had been paramount, there has been virtually nothing going on that is worth any outrage, and certainly nothing that would stimulate enough angst to produce a rant. The Republicans are all walking around shaking their heads, and wondering where they went wrong, or trying to fool the public into believing they are going to cooperate with the administration (a load of crap if I ever heard one….), and the Democrats can’t stop grinning long enough to get anything done yet…. It’s like watching a video of a particularly exciting Sunday School class….. pretty enough, but boring as hell….

A few items worth discussion have come up…. There is more noise being bandied about regarding gun control again, as I see some folks posting statistics about guns and people getting killed…. What, did they think that all of a sudden, after the election, human nature was going to change? It always amazes me how much outrage, and surprise, people seem to exhibit when another atrocity killing is brought out by a news outlet. People are going to lose their cool, and their control…. that is a fact of life, and a law of nature. It isn’t ever going to change, and wishing otherwise is a fool’s game. In addition to this fact is another…. guns are real. When they are used to kill, it is not as if the gun is responsible, yet people seem to think that allowing the government to regulate who can have guns, and who can’t, will somehow stop all that from happening. It won’t, and thinking it will is the worst sort of self-delusion….

“Gun Control – the belief that government, with its great wisdom and moral superiority, can be trusted with a monopoly on deadly force.”– Smart Bee

Smart Bee has hit upon the main argument against gun control as desired by the idiots who think it will help. Sorry, don’t mean to be derogatory, but it is undeniable, inarguable idiocy to think that the government is capable of controlling itself any more than individuals can; what evidence is there to even hint as much? None, none that can be seen, because there is none that can be produced. If you think that the government has even the slightest intention of using such a monopoly with restraint and integrity, well, then, you are in some serious deep shit in your mind, and seriously need to consider therapy.

Hell, just take a look at recent statistics as to how many civilians have been gunned down by corrupt cops…. it may surprise you to see that the numbers are at least equal to, if not greater than those attributed to civilian citizens. In the town I live in alone, there have been at least seven civilian deaths at the hands of police with guns, just this year, and this is not a particularly large town, nor a particularly violent one.

“Most people seem to think that trampling individual rights is OK if it is “for the good of society as a whole.”  However, society is but a large number of individuals, and how can harming the individual parts better the whole?” — Andrew Ford, forda@agcs.com

Hearing a government official claim that by restricting a right it is good for society as a whole is, to me, the very same as hearing someone wearing robes and a conical, comical hat, claim they are looking out for ‘my’ interests over their own…. I’m not gonna buy it, not now, not ever. There is NO TIME when it is acceptable to restrict an individual’s rights, unless their exercise of that right is denying the rights of another. Doing so is entering the slippery slope that leads to the loss of that right. The good of society does not lie in that direction, but rather in a direction that protects that right, and all of the others we were left as our legacy.

Hearing someone say they are acting “for the good of society” reminds me of the thief saying he is taking my things “for my own good”….. it doesn’t compute. Nor would I trust it if it did…. I may be a cynic, but in this case, I’m right…. The beloved ruling class is NOT going to look out for your best interests, or mine…. No matter how often they say they are, or how often they try to convince you, they are NOT going to do that. They are trying to control you, and screw you, and unless you hold on to your rights, and protect them with your own gun, then they will continue to try to take them away…. Sad, but true….

“Sure, understanding today’s complex world of the future is a little like having bees live in your head.  But there they are . . .” — The Firesign Theater, “I Think We’re All Bozos on this Bus!”

I have made friends with the bees in my head, and they know that I am armed and dangerous, to anyone who tries to convince me that our beloved ruling class has my best interests at heart. They don’t, and I know it, and continued attempts to try to convince me otherwise are not only doomed to failure, but are likely to prompt a response they wont’ be expecting, and one they will regret…. If so, well, all I can say is “just desserts”….
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What If

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I’m dumb in school?
Whatif they’ve closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there’s poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don’t grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won’t bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don’t grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

~~ Shel Silverstein
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I’m feeling curmudgeonly this morning, but also quite lazy. Therefore, old school pearl…. Here is another one that jabs a pointed stick in the eye of religion, as is fairly common ’round these parts….. All of these historical figures, and modern authors, had something to say on the subject, but all in a slightly different way…. which is what makes life interesting, right? Right…. Enjoy, and pay heed, because otherwise those preachers, they’ll getcha…. and they won’t let go…..

“Human, do you know how interesting it is, this thing you describe? Avata does not have a god. How is it that you have a god? Avata has Self, has the universe. But you have a god. Where did you find this god?” — Frank Herbert

“Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane — like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell — mouths mercy and invented hell — mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man’s acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!” — Mark Twain, _The Mysterious Stranger_

“In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.” — Pliny the Elder

“History records no more gallant struggle than that of humanity against the truth.” — whoever Google says it was, if not Smart Bee…

“I believe that ideas such as absolute certitude, absolute exactness, final truth, etc. are figments of the imagination which should not be admissible in any field of science…This loosening of thinking seems to me to be the greatest blessing which modern science has given us. For the belief in a single truth and in being the possessor thereof is the root cause of all evil in the world.” — Max Born

(As perfect proof of this particular assertion, I offer the following unattributed piece of nonsense, that nevertheless is probably one of the most revered items of dogma in many Christian cults…..)

God didn’t call them the 10 suggestions! — Unknown fundie

(If you can’t see how WRONG this statement is, in so many different ways, I have a great deal of pity for you…. Reality is going to really work you over…..)

Under Alabama law, the wearer of a false mustache in church who causes unseemly laughter is subject to arrest.– Smart Bee

Well, there you go…. It all will make sense….. maybe if you just play it backwards….
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Now, this is a Pearl of unusual construction, and more unusual format. Oh, not much is changed, but, enough that I felt the difference as I was trying to put it together. But, it is not really worth discussion, so we’ll ignore it altogether, and get on with the day…. Some might say I’ve held it up long enough as it is…. Not that I care what folks say, much…. only certain folks, which is as it should be, for all of us….. Since I don’t have any idea how to proceed from here, I’m going to have to bring this to a close, as is…..   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!