“Frabjous day, O Caluca lay!”, expostulated Lord Peter….

Ffolkes,

“Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.”

~~ Confucius, “Analects” ~~

10-8-2014 013

    Threatened by the imminent arrival of a houseful of relatives, Mickey Stone found himself retreating to his basement “hubby-cubby”, where, in spite of all notions to the contrary, he does NOT perform evil rituals in the dark…. He does, occasionally, watch horror flicks on the 52-inch flat-screen TV late at night, but, that’s about as evil as the Big Mick is capable of contemplating. Shuddering at the thought of four days trapped with cousin Franklin, not to mention the dreaded presence of his mother-in-law, Mickey pulled a beer out of the mini-fridge, dropped into the leather recliner, and prepared to thoroughly insulate his consciousness with alcohol….

Me, I’m going to finish this Pearl, then go for a drive…. once my hands have recovered, that is. Not only do I have a bunch of stuff to accomplish out in the BBR (again), the day and a half break I’ve had from the worst of the pain seems to have been officially ended, as I woke up with aching joints, and a piss-poor attitude…. Thankfully, thinking about poor Mickey’s upcoming torture got me into a better head-space; the pain, however, continues unabated, laughing, as is its habit, at all the powerful medication I consume, as well as complicating this process by necessitating frequent breaks to rest my hands and wrists….

Ah well, such is life, as they say, so, I’m going to once again usurp the usual opening program, which I tried to begin the old-fashioned way, by abruptly ending this section, & moving on to the next. I call it ruthlessness, you can call it whatever you like…. just don’t call it Percy. It HATES that name!….

Hmm… We are approaching severe nonsense way too early for me. I’m getting us out of here, ffolkes, before I lose control completely…. Hang on, & do NOT get up from your seats for the next few moments…. You may never get back into it…. Well, not without a visit to the ER first…. Hold on, ffolkes, we’re going in, ready or not….

Shall we Pearl?

“He was a man, which, as Plato saith, is a very inconstant creature.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — On the Tranquility of the Mind

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I used to like this show; Bob’s one-sided conversations on the phone were the funniest stuff on TV at the time…. which probably goes to show just how bad TV has always been…. It’s funny, but, with the network censors working overtime back then, it was pretty mild, in terms of social commentary…. But, that was America in the 60’s & 70’s…. Oblivious….

THE BOB NEWHART SHOW – SEASON: 1 EPISODE: 1 – FLY THE UNFRIENDLY SKIES


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As mentioned, busy, busy, busy…. plus, hey, why not?, I’m lazy. Hence, another replacement pearl from the archives…. I’m also going with my “nice guy” costume today, making it a rantish old-school pearl, rather than the usual straight-out rant…. Better for all of us under the circumstances, I think…. Enjoy, ffolkes, it’s a “good” pearl….

From 9/29/2012:

I’ve been very lucky with my latest incarnation of Smart Bee…. it seems to be giving me a higher percentage of usable quotes than it did before I had trouble with it. In fact, so many quotes are worth saving that I’m starting to group them into subject lots…. Here are a significant number of intriguing and/or interestingly accurate observations on modern life in America, land of the marginally civilized….

I swear to the Lord
I still can’t see
Why Democracy means
Everybody but me.

~~ Langston Hughes ~~

~~ The Black Man Speaks ~~


Homosexuality is *not* a sickness.  Bigotry is. — Smart Bee

“Whether you have an abortion, what you put in your own body, with whom you have sex – these are not the affairs of the state.  A government does not exist to control the citizens.  When it does, it is a tyranny, and must be fought.  The tree of liberty, Jefferson warned us, must be refreshed with the blood of tyrants and patriots.” — Gore Vidal

“Government is about coercion. Limiting government is the single most important instrument for guaranteeing liberty. We’re working on a third generation which has little in the way of education about what our Constitution means and why it was written. Thus, we’ve fallen easy prey to charlatans, quacks, and hustlers.” — Dr. Walter Williams

“The discovery of America was the occasion of the greatest outburst of cruelty and reckless greed known in history.” — Joseph Conrad

“Democracy is government by the people with open discussion and free speech. This allows those with no ideas to unload their thinking in the most tedious and lengthy manner. After this, a vote is taken, and the least informed will oppose the most confused. The result, inevitably, will be known as model legislation. In time, it will proliferate, and eventually a commission will be formed to review what has been done and why it isn’t working and it will recommend reforms of the previous efforts. All of this will be published in various government journals and cause great debate. There will be a veritable waterfall of newspaper editorials and Johnny Carson will use the whole thing as a part of his monologue. In the end, the reforms will be defeated. –Smart Bee

“Christianity:  Please help find the cure.” — Smart Bee

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist…. A few days ago, as I sat in a shady spot outside, on a beautiful California day, I began to think, for some misbegotten reason, about Christianity in this country. I wondered, no idea why, exactly how many different definitions of the word “Christian” there would be. There are so many different interpretations of the Bible, and so many different definitions of what is “Christ-like”, that I can see no hope of any consensus answer to this question.

A conservative guess would be about 5,000 different churches, each with a different interpretation of scripture; it’s likely that Los Angeles and New York City, alone, contain that many; nation-wide, the number is probably closer to a hundred thousand….. None, I repeat, NONE, of the people who embrace the dogma associated with each of these various cults {yes, cults, by definition…look it up….} are at all willing to even consider any truth in any of the others, and they ostensibly are all worshiping the same dude…. It’s a bit pathetic, when one stops to look at the broader picture…. SIGH… ah well, back to general culture, and our caricaturization thereof…..)

You may be redneck… if you refer to Mason jars as “the good glasses.” — Smart Bee

“Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.” — H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

On that note, we will go ever onward, seeking approbation, or at least hoping for poor aim….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I don’t know what I want, or what I need, I turn to this poet…. every time….

A narrow fellow in the grass
Occasionally rides;
You may have met him,–did you not,
His notice sudden is.

The grass divides as with a comb,
A spotted shaft is seen;
And then it closes at your feet
And opens further on.

He likes a boggy acre,
A floor too cool for corn.
Yet when a child, and barefoot,
I more than once, at morn,

Have passed, I thought, a whip-lash
Unbraiding in the sun,–
When, stooping to secure it,
It wrinkled, and was gone.

Several of nature’s people
I know, and they know me;
I feel for them a transport
Of cordiality;

But never met this fellow,
Attended or alone,
Without a tighter breathing,
And zero at the bone.

~~ Emily Dickinson ~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With so much to do today, I don’t much feel up to arguing with Smart Bee over pearls… so, here is a pretty good one from the archives…. Enjoy, ffolkes, it’s a classic….

From 10/9/2012:

In keeping with today’s theme, as it evolved, I offer these pearls…. Each is, of course, a stand-alone thought, but, I let my whimsy dictate which would go well together, to further demonstrate my devotion to illogic, and it’s concomitant companion, crooked reasoning…. Crooked though it may be, there still exists a direct link to Reality, especially in today’s society, which goes much further than I have ever gone down the path to Strange….

“No matter how much cynicism you have, it is never enough to keep up.” — Lily Tomlin

“But a short time elapsed after the death of the great reformer of the Jewish religion, before his principles were departed from by those who professed to be his special servants, and perverted into an engine for enslaving mankind, and aggrandizing their oppressors in Church and State.” — Thomas Jefferson, [letter?] To S. Kercheval, 1810

“The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.” — Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals

“Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” — Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

“The late rebellion in Massachusetts has given more alarm than I think it should have done.  Calculate that one rebellion in 13 states in the course of 11 years, is but one for each state in a century and a half. No country should be so long without one.” — Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), in letter to James Madison, 20 December 1787

‘But he hasn’t got any clothes on,’ a little boy said. — from The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen

“Remember that man’s life lies all within this present, as ‘t were but a hair’s-breadth of time; as for the rest, the past is gone, the future yet unseen. Short, therefore, is man’s life, and narrow is the corner of the earth wherein he dwells.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, iii, 10

Well, there you go…. If you can’t make heads or tails of it, don’t sweat it. None of it will be on the Quiz….. But, if you let your mind drift as you consider the parts of the pearl as a whole concept, you just might find that you’ve hit upon a very deep, very ancient, immensely valuable insight into not only the nature of Man, but your own nature as well….  If not, well, have some chocolate; then, you can, at least, feel the same way…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not too shabby for an old fart with flat feet and flatulence…. plus, it’s done. Since that state offers no opportunity for improvement, we shall take our leave, post haste…. See y’all tomorrow, ffolkes….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

Kowabunga!


À bientôt, mon cherí….

Advertisements

Okay, but, who takes the hindmost?….

Ffolkes,

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.” — Wilson Mizner

September 7-8 2014 017

    Since there can be no doubt as to exactly WHEN this was taken, (as long as we can trust digital appliances not to lie to us….) allow me to just say, it is one of mine, shot a few days ago, in a relatively futile attempt to get one good shot of the Super Moon,which took place at the date and time on the picture, as calculated by scientists at the Naval Observatory, & reported on Space.com. I intended to go out earlier, to find a spot to get a really good one, but, Murphy had other plans for my evening, as it turned out….

Approximately a half-hour before the moonrise was calculated to take place, I grabbed my phone, my stick, and the bagged garbage & recycling, to take it outside, downstairs, to the bins, which, I would then take out to the curb, for pick-up the next morning. Since I was still in quite a bit of pain, with some stiffness, too, it took me a few minutes, as I was moving, and, apparently, thinking slowly….

When done, I walked back up the stairs, with some difficulty, only to find the back door had blown itself shut in the breeze, while still locked…. Naturally, I didn’t have my keys on me, so, there I was, outside, no key, tired, in pain, and about two minutes away from A) biting myself, or, preferably, and, much more likely, the nearest human being I could find, and/or B) requiring the immediate use of articles only to be found indoors…. No, not what you’re thinking, but, well, ’nuff said… I had reasons to need to get in long before anyone would be able to bring m the means to do so….

Needless to say, I was NOT happy, first, with my bozoid failure to unlock the door, the first time I opened it that morning, as I almost ALWAYS do; nor was I happy with my bozoid failure to realize it would blow shut while outside, even though I am the one who opened the other door, the windows, & turned on the fan, so the very breeze that shut the door would be blowing, to cool off the house….  In short, my own bozoid nature gave Murphy the perfect opportunity to BURY ME in stress, in the course of a few short moments, a window of time into which I strode boldly, with full confidence that everything was fine…. the frame of mind that bloody Irish asshole LOOKS for…. I imagine he had a hard time containing his glee when he saw me go outside….

Since I had only moments to figure out how to get back inside, (remember, I had very GOOD reasons to HAVE to get in….), I tried to call one of the handymen my landlord employs, whereupon, of course, I found one out to dinner, and the other not answering… So, I made the only decision my executive nature was capable of under that sort of stress, proceeding to use my multi-purpose stick to break in the damn window on the back door, thus creating a HUGE FUCKING MESS inside my house, ten feet out into the middle of the kitchen floor, now COVERED with tiny pieces of breakaway glass, thus, necessitating a complete cleaning of the kitchen, and laundry room, which is where the back door is situated….

So, yesterday morning, (or, today, as I write this…. remember, I have a Tardis….), as well as overnight, I was completely unable to use about a quarter of my house, as it was covered in glass I had no way to pick up…. I have to wait until I can ask someone to come over, bring a real broom, (which has somehow disappeared….), and help me clean up, as doing it right is well beyond my current capabilities….

Now, is there anyone out there with any more questions about WHY I hate Murphy, even more so than your average Bozo? I am completely depressed now, because, in one swell foop, he has put me in a hole it will take days to climb out of…. the only thing that is currently serendipitous, as far as I can see, is the fortunate arrival in the bank of my monthly SS allotment. At least I’ll have enough to pay for repairing all the damages incurred in this episode, and, be able to obtain enough cannabinoids to knock down some of the severe pain that has been haunting me the last couple of weeks….

Plus, as you see, it provided enough material to complete another introductory section, with the ease of long habit in reporting the machinations of our planet’s least appreciated, most reviled icon, Jester to the Courts of Chaos, The Murphy, Most Puissant Asshole Supreme, He Who Has No Peer, Nor Ever Shall (because no other force of nature will have anyfuckingthing to do with him….)….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!”
“But that trick NEVER works!”
“This time fer sure!”

— Rocky & Bullwinkle, playing verbal ping-pong, with Metaphoric Balls, using Euphemystic Brand paddles, Hand-Crafted with ONLY the finest of Time Tested Cliches….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Aim at the sun, any you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself.” — Joel Hawes

“Beginnings are such delicate times.” — Princess Irulan, from Dune, by Frank Herbert

Of late, the posts here at ECR have been, shall we say, epic in proportion. I know I talk a lot; a certain percentage of responsibility for that can be laid at the feet of my writing style. Spare, it is not…. (Though that sentence isn’t bad, in that respect…. but, you’ll note this parenthetical comment has added approximately 15-20 extra words. See how that works?….) SIGH….

‘Tis a conundrum, for much of my sense of humor requires the long build-up to the punch line so easily displayed by using the more formal approach I’ve chosen; I guess I’ve always loved a long, involved story that ends with a pun, or something so unexpected, the usual reaction is multiplied by the surprise factor….. (Now that I’ve pointed it out, the convoluted grammatical structure of my style seems to be part of the issue; a sentence such as the one previous to this could have been written in half the words…. See? It’s almost as if I can’t help it; it’s a sickness, I guess… Verbalitis maximus, or some such Latin perversion….)

Once, on a bus trip in high school, one of the other students told a story to the entire bus… He took about 30 or more minutes to tell the entire story, giving background, and describing the characters, dragging it out with repetitive actions by the characters that lent themselves to long, drawn out dialogue, and slow speech…. At the end of the 30 minutes, when the story wound around toward a resolution, the question being asked by the protagonist, which is the quest in the story, to find out WHY this person did something, is about to be answered… The entire bus was hanging on this student’s every word; even the driver was engrossed. At the crucial point, the father asks his son, who is dying, the question, “WHY, my son? Why did you…..?” The dying young man, struggling to speak, chokes out, “Dad, I did it because….”

Then he died…. The student telling the story, at the word, “because”, dropped his head, shut his eyes, and fell over, as if dead….

For about15 seconds, there wasn’t a word, not a sound, as everyone on the bus sat in complete shock…. Then, the entire bus erupted, with shouts of anger, groans of dismay (the loudest and largest number of responses were the groans….), and some actual animated growls directed at him, right before half the objects on the bus started flying in his general direction, as each victim grabbed the first item at hand & let fly, intending serious harm….

I’ve never, in my entire life, seen a joke better told, unless by a pro, such as George Carlin, or Bob Newhart, who loved that sort of joke… nor have I ever seen such a loud, universal reaction to a pun, up to this day…. It was, quite simply, the best joke I’ve ever heard, even though it isn’t even a joke, except on the audience listening to it…. Nor, for that matter, is it a particularly GOOD joke; stupidly thick is the best one can say about all the parties in the story…. The value is in the telling, with it a critical factor to have the audience on the edge of their seats at the crucial point in the story….

Y’all are probably wondering where I’m going with this, since I’ve wandered so far afield in my mind…. Easy…. I’m giving y’all a break from the usual sober, involved, ranting that is generally my choice for this section…. I figured out, reading my blog isn’t easy…. it takes time, involves no little amount of cogitation, (a habit many Americans don’t possess), all of which probably asks more of the reader than I am entitled to ask in a blog…. Most blogs out there are much shorter, in terms of content, unless they post less often…. But, not ME, no sirree, Bob, I must write and post about 2000- 4000 words EVERY DAMN DAY….. I suppose I’ve come to realize it may be a bit much to ask of ffolkes, even those who enjoy my writing…

So, this little personal reminiscence is to let y’all know, I will be attempting, to some degree at least, to shorten the Pearls of Virtual Wisdom, to make them a little more palatable, and easy to swallow…. Perhaps, this will bring a bit more traffic to the site, because, even though I don’t write for the purpose of increasing my readership, as much as I do to stay sane, to try to hold off the mental calcification that may tend to settle in with us as we get older, decreasing our awareness, our cognitive abilities, and, ultimately, shortening our lives, by removing the pleasure of using our minds the way they were designed to be used…. which is hard, and often….

So, here is a single pearl, hopefully as cogent as I can make it, to seal the deal…. I can’t promise to succeed at this, but, I’ll promise to try, so, hopefully, you’ll see some less bulky Pearls, and a bit more dialogue in the comments, from increased traffic…. If nothing else, I’ll know I’ve lived up to the following aphorism, from one of history’s most prolific, and most accurately insightful moralists… Even if I don’t succeed, this tells me it’s the right thing to do….

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” — Aesop (620-560 B.C.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today I will, once more, assume the ethical stance, to include a poem of mine in this section; you already know why…. This way, nobody else can catch any of the grief or blame for any of today’s missive…. Which, in at least one respect, makes it safer for me, as well; no fear of litigation is necessary…. Here is one written this year, in February, that fits in perfectly with the discussion in section one…..

Blithely Untitled

A poem came to me today, willy, nilly,
along with a sharp blow to the head.
Since it left me feeling just a bit silly,
anything that rhymes should lessen the dread.

Manifesting destiny into a small, insidious group
we push on toward sanity, concentrating hard.
Full engaging moments spent navigating the loop
shall ever make a difference to victims found in the yard.

Still corpses of creatures, straight out of nightmare
fill up the corners of our tortured minds.
While ever saddened, the iconic male, most debonair,
gazes softly, ironically, at all the mutual interest he finds.

Moronic public statutes compel outbreaks of sanity,
responding to momentary impulses toward inducing peace.
Still, the motions get completed, in fertile stages of inanity
while the bulk of our inmates can find no surcease.

Reluctant motivation to continue is unbound,
striving to ascertain how far there yet remains to go.
No precognitive guesswork will make any less of a sound
to soften the final strains, or teach us to truly know.

~~ gigoid ~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In order to assuage my own needs and desires, as well as to subdue, or at minimum, sublimate my urge to rant, today’s section three will assume its typical format, of an old-school pearl, but, with specific parameters, set to find ideas, quotes, and/or poems to show our disdain for the Asininnies, and our anger at the shadowy corporate slavers who have held society in thrall for our entire written history….

“Search men’s governing principles, and consider the wise, what they shun and what they cleave to.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, iv, 38

“Boldness is a mask for fear, however great.” — Lucan

“It is hard to let old beliefs go.  They are familiar.  We are comfortable with them and have spent years building systems and developing habits that depend on them.  Like a man who has worn eyeglasses so long that he forgets he has them on, we forget that the world looks to us the way it does because we have become used to seeing it that way through a particular set of lenses.  Today, however, we need new lenses.  And we need to throw the old ones away.” — Kenich Ohmae, The Borderless World

“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.” — Fran Lebowitz

(The above, on food, should be tattooed on the forehead of every one of the 455 men & women in Congress, the White House, and sitting on the SCOTUS; it’s something they tend to ignore, or forget, especially when forced to think about the ‘little people’….)

“People come o Washington believing it is the center of power. I know I did.  It was only much later that I learned that Washington is a steering wheel that’s not connected to an engine.” — Richard Goodwin

“Our virtues are most frequently but vices disguised.” — Francis, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) — Maxims, Head

“And what is a good citizen?  Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual.  Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point.  A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps.” — H.L. Mencken

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, there you go…. a reasonably fresh Pearl of Virtual Wisdom, (Required disclaimer: These are ‘virtual’ wisdom; any attempt to use them as real wisdom is the responsibility of the Gentle Reader; the author takes no part in that, for damn good reason….) with only the intro section written prior to this morning’s effort, and it needed to be edited, so, it’s all pretty up-to-date…. Not that freshness will make it taste better, but, hey, with Pearls, you never know…. time improves some of them, others are gems from the start, and, sadly, some cannot be saved by any power known to Mankind…. so be it.   gigoid has spoken….

For today, it’s done, which will allow me to go on into the day with no lingering dross or drivel left in my head, just the way I like it…. I’ll need it  today, as I go forth to contend with the bureaucratic forces of government…. with a buffering shield of drug-induced emotional space, in lieu of a force-field, (still can’t find one on the open market….), but, still, my hands and ears will require serious cleansing later on…. See ya tomorrow, ffolkes….

   
Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

Kowabunga!