Tag Archives: Brown

Some lessons are more painful than others….

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14

Ffolkes,
As much as I enjoy these morning interludes with the blogging world, there is still a certain degree of fear that goes along with publishing one’s own writing for others to read. One is, after all, exposing the inner self to the world, which, historically, has a habit of treating inner selves rather shabbily, or even cruelly, especially when they are shown for the first time, and often thereafter. It’s perhaps the biggest risk we take by deciding to share our thoughts with the world at large, a risk that is very real, and anyone with less than military grade armor protecting their ego is in serious jeopardy….

My own fear is no match for my ego, though, never has been, so it’s never been an issue for me…. I couldn’t wait to start blogging, as I’ve had stuff to say about life and society for many years, with no outlet for my outrage, or my angst, or my decidedly odd sense of humor. Once I was retired, and discovered that I had all the time I wanted to write, I jumped in without any discernible hesitation, taking to it like a duck takes to water….. but, happily, without the water all over my butt…..  🙂

Then, of course, Murphy came to live with me, as he found his perfect target in my attempted routines, my attempted regular posts, my attempted sleep, and all the other parts of life that he found he could so easily distort and pervert, such that I never know where the next conundrum will surface. I seem to be a fertile field for his machinations, and ever since, oh, a week or so into this time period, since I began blogging, he has made it his life’s work to find a new way to fuck with me, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!! If it weren’t such a pain in the ass, I might feel special (cue Gilda Radner’s Church Lady voice for that last word….).

I didn’t mind so much, until the wearisome events surrounding living in poverty began to mount up into a mass that even my well-buried depression couldn’t keep hidden, and my PTSD became a daily issue, with the advent of unpredictable emotional storms, causing me to burst into tears at the slightest stress, or the thought of any stressful concept…… Concepts of a stressful nature….. yeah….

Such as when I found out yesterday that my older brother has been diagnosed with lymphatic cancer, and has decided not to take the treatments that might extend his life, to save his family from financial ruin…. It’s a decision that isn’t surprising; our father made the same one.

But, the butthead might have informed his brother(s) of it, so he(they) didn’t have to find out when he called to wish a happy birthday….. (Actually, I don’t know if he told my “little” brother…. if he did, and he didn’t call me, either of them, I’m afraid we are going to have to exchange a few words…. They may need to be reminded of who they are dealing with, and the proper protocols needed to keep from getting their sorry asses kicked…. I may be old, and getting feeble, but, I am still their brother, and I can still be dangerous when aroused….)

As you might guess, this little revelation has thrown me for a bit of a loop, and I don’t really even know how I feel, other than tearfully sad, fearfully mad, and a hundred other powerful emotions I can’t even name. So tearful, a break is needed, to get rid of some annoying fluid build-up that is common when I cry….. I’ll be back…. Okay, well, that didn’t work out so well….

I’m going to have to resort to more emergency procedures today, in order to get this Pearl done. I don’t know why, exactly, but it seems important to do so today. So, in sections one and three, where there would normally be a rant or two, I’m going old school, because that’s all I can do for now. I’ll do my best to make them potent pearls, even though they won’t be as floridly original, or as clear, I’m sure. At this point, enough emotion is swirling around inside me that a poem may just break out in section two, but, if not, I’ll find something sufficiently compelling in a more classical selection, if I can hold it together that long…..

I’m going to go for a dive now, and see if I can drown a bit of this sorrow in knowledge…. I have hopes, because aphorisms have always been a source of comfort to me in times of need…. So, I’ll stop torturing y’all now, and get on with it…. Shall we Pearl?….

“When you get older you have to be careful about always saying, “Things  aren’t as good as they used to be.” But it’s hard not to.” — Andy Rooney
(I don’t much like Andy Rooney, but even a blind dog can find a bone some days….)

— Bother! said Pooh, on his deathbed.
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I was a bit nervous as to how this might turn out, given my state of mind, or lack thereof, but, Smart Bee seems to be in a compassionate mood, for a software program, anyway, so maybe it will all be okay….. Here are five pearls, each with their own message for the world to consider….. I particularly like the first one, and the last, and they DO help the pearl make its point…. That point’s a bit subtle, even for me, but, it’s there, if you wish to look for it, and it’s not bad….

“If you have an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time–a tremendous whack.” — Sir Winston Churchill

“A time to be born; a time to die.” — Ecclesiastes 3:2

“Allow your children to face the consequences of their actions.” — Brown

“If you ever feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these simple rules: First, calm down; second, come over and wash my car; third, shine all my shoes.  There, isn’t that better?” — Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey

“If possible, try to find a way to come downstairs that doesn’t involve going bump, bump, bump, on the back of your head. -” — Pooh in Winnie the Pooh A.A. Milne, English author (1882-1956)

See? As I’ve been known to say previously, it’s all in the wrist….
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What I said above about Smart Bee’s apparent empathy today seems to be accurate…. When considering poetry to fill this space today, after determining there is no poem of my own ready to come out, it showed me an excerpt from a Yeats poem, which prompted me to go find these two gems, both of which fit my mood today, as well as the apparent theme, obviously chosen by Reality…. Enjoy!…

A Friend’s Illness

SICKNESS brought me this
Thought, in that scale of his:
Why should I be dismayed
Though flame had burned the whole
World, as it were a coal,
Now I have seen it weighed
Against a soul?

William Butler Yeats

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Dream Of Death

I DREAMED that one had died in a strange place
Near no accustomed hand,
And they had nailed the boards above her face,
The peasants of that land,
Wondering to lay her in that solitude,
And raised above her mound
A cross they had made out of two bits of wood,
And planted cypress round;
And left her to the indifferent stars above
Until I carved these words:
{She was more beautiful than thy first love,}
{But now lies under boards.}

William Butler Yeats
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Here is a seven star pearl for your perusal, as a finish to today’s effortful outpouring of confusion…. Smart Bee was again very cooperative, giving up this group in less than forty clicks, an astounding rate of success, especially given how it has performed already today. One could get the impression that it was AI software, and was reacting with compassion to my pained mental static….. Lest that be untrue, or, in case it is, I’ll not suggest otherwise…

Meantime, here are seven pearls, that just fall together into an attractive shape, no matter which way you jumble them up…. enjoy! Should it be necessary, there are cleaning solutions and tools in the cabinet by the pantry, including items to clean your clothing, in the event of spills or splashes…. We’re big on safety here, but, Life can be dangerous, especially when dealing with ideas…. unpredictable little buggers…. Why, I’ve seen them jump right out of a frying pan, into a fire…. imagine that!….

“What UNIVERSE is this, please??” — Zippy the Pinhead

“Two wrongs are only the beginning.” — Kohn’s Corollary to Murphy’s Law

“To get really high is to forget yourself.  And to forget yourself is to see everything else.  And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe.  And I think every human being should be a conscious tool of the universe.  That’s why I think it’s important to get high.  I’m not talking about unconscious or zonked out. I’m talking about being fully conscious.” — Jerry Garcia

One ship drives east and the other drives west
With the selfsame winds that blow.
‘Tis the set of the sails and not the gales
Which tells us the way to go.

— Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Winds of Fate

“The only use of a knowledge of the past is to equip us for the present. The present contains all that there is. It is holy ground; for it is the past, and it is the future.” — Alfred North Whitehead

“Those who will not reason, perish in the act.  Those who will not act, perish for that reason.” — W. H. Auden, _Shorts_

Lastly, a perfect find for today…. The counter-curse to the one I received long ago, when the ancient Chinese gentleman said to me, “May you have an interesting life.”….. Now all I have to do is find a competent, relatively cheap, er, inexpensive necromancer to say it to me….

“May you live in uninteresting times.” — Smart Bee
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I can’t speak to how today’s effort has been for y’all, but, it has helped me a lot, to regain enough composure to get the rest of the way through the day. The process of creating a Pearl has always been therapeutic, (a big part of why I started in the first place….), and today has served to solidify that characteristic for me…. My only remaining hope is that I haven’t bored anyone to their own tears, or offended anyone enough to lose them in the process, but, that’s always a gamble in this universe, so….

In looking back over this, I have to say, it came out pretty well, all things considered…. Now comes the tough part…. Reality awaits me, outside the door, and I can’t ignore its call this time…. Ah well, such is life…. it goes on, with or without our approval or cooperation, so I may as well try to enjoy the ride while it lasts, for, as the Scots say, I’ll be a long time dead….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

We believe the correct term is “Zounds!”….

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9

Ffolkes,
It’s bloody cold out here today! Out in the main room, not outside, though if inside is any indicator, it’s cold out there, too. And I didn’t mean to get into a whole weather report, so let’s just start over….

Buon giorno, ohayo gozaimas, buenos dias, and howdy….. I’m feeling somewhat international today. It’s probably a side effect of wanting to travel….. anywhere. I’ve been stuck too long in one place, and my itchy feet are dunning me to hit the road, to go somewhere on the planet where I’ve never been, to meet people I’ve never known, to see things I’ve never seen. Way too long, indeed…. the last real travel I undertook was over a year ago, and that was a nightmare; the last day and a half of it would make a pretty funny movie. Funny for others at least; it wasn’t funny at all from my perspective. Any who, I can definitely hear those wild geese calling me, urging me to pack my bag and be on my way…… soon enough, compadre, soon enough…..
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crust, sauce, toppings, cheese. — The Four Food Groups

I find it odd, to say the least, but this is true; crust is a carbohydrate, sauce is made of vegetables, toppings are generally protein and/or vegetable, cheese is a dairy product. So, if one really stops to thinks about it (such as at those times when I sits and thinks…) pizza, and pasta, too, for that matter, can be considered a balanced meal all by itself. This may be why it appeals to so many people in America; we, as a group, are all about one-stop-shopping. If we can tell ourselves that a pizza is healthy food (and it is!) then we can eat without guilt. Since guilt is one of our other preeminent characteristics, an unwelcome one, eating pizza, for us, is a win-win, and is useful at any time to maintain a happy, guilt-free lifestyle….. 🙂  Abondanza!….. I’m a chef, it’s all true, I swear! Trust me!…….

“There is a difference between eating a varied diet and chowing down on a cup of lard and sugar once a day. Programmers know this instinctively: they balance their daily menu among the four major food groups: caffeine, sugar, grease, and salt.” — From John Walker’s The Hacker’s Diet
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I’m sorry, but I’m giving up on this Pearl. I’ve spent the last hour and a quarter searching desperately for a quote, an idea, or even just a joke to place here for discussion. What I’ve found is nada. Nothing. Zip. Zero. Not even a hint, or a random finger pointing in a direction where the last idea was seen. It’s bloody frustrating, I’ll tell ya…. and I’ve got stuff to do today. So, I’m giving up. This will have to remain blank. Just think of it as a user documentation manual from the old days at IBM, where it was common practice to put “This page intentionally left blank” on a large number of pages. At least this is my first time….. even now, I’m breathlessly awaiting serendipity, hoping after hope that rescue is rushing down upon us, to leave us with something, anything at all, to put here….. well, I’m waiting…. and waiting…. and waiting….. ah, I knew Murphy wouldn’t let me down…. here is the perfect piece to drag this odd little paragraph right into the realm of respectability, because the message intended in this poetic classic is the perfect counterpoint…..

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves
And the mome raths outgrabe
— _Jabberwocky_, by Lewis Carroll (Charles Dodgson)

See?…. I rest my case….
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“Syzygy, inexorable, pancreatic, phantasmagoria–anyone who can use those four words in one sentence will never have to do manual labor.” — W. P. Kinsella

Easy money…..

“Even a terminal pancreatic cancer patient can observe the inexorable march of the planets culminating in syzygy, as in an eclipse, if no other way, as a phantasmagoria, a hallucination stemming from their radiation therapy.” — gigoid, 2/25/2012.

See, no problem. Anybody else have a challenge for me? Feel free to leave them in the comments, and I’ll give them a shot. As long as I can find out what each word means, I think I can string them together, and the ensuing results promise to be as strangely interesting as this one……does this mean, since I don’t have to do manual labor anymore, that I’m getting paid now?….
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“Do you believe in and afterlife?  I think this is it.” — Brown

This is an interesting notion… if true, it would explain a lot about this life that we have attributed heretofore to supernatural, or to as yet unknown, laws governing the universe. For example, it would explain why what we call our lives are incredibly brief, in comparison to almost any other part of the physical universe. Stars, matter, worlds, rocks, moons, all last for billions of years, unless acted upon by great forces, whereupon they merely change form, but do not vanish.

But our consciousness, no matter how deeply we think we understand reality, must bow to the simple fact that we only exist, consciously, for a mere few seconds of the eternal clock. When considered in this light, the above statement becomes absolute truth, and bears contemplation. The answers found may just reveal how immortal we actually may be, though the evidence may not indicate such……
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“We must learn not to disassociate the airy flower from the earthy root, for the flower that is cut off from its root fades, and its seeds are barren, whereas the root, secure in mother earth, can produce flower after flower and bring their fruit to maturity.” — Kabbalah (BC 1200?-700? AD)

Mind and body are one? Yes….. it fits. Over a thousand years ago, and folks were developing subtle, yet complex, answers to ages-old questions. This one indicates to me that the author, or the philosophy about which he discoursed, was aware of the duality present in the fabric of reality. It acknowledges the two separate qualities that coexist within each of us, that state of mind/body that both tests and verifies its own nature. We perceive two things, mind and body, whereas the universe only sees one thing, a human.

It is thus a mistake to act out of the belief that we are not connected to the rest of the universe, that our perceptions, based on the duality inherent in the nature of reality, reflect what actually is real. Reality does not acknowledge any such separation of spirit from matter; what happens to one affects the other just as strongly. It is much more prudent, or rather, more effective as a strategy, to include the knowledge of this duality in our contemplations, and base decisions on reality, rather than fantasy….. life is much more congenial…..
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Well, that was interesting…. I think. It will fly, though, I’m pretty sure. And if not, well, tomorrow is another day. Since I started of with weather-talk, I’ll finish the same way. Today promises to be pretty nice here is Northern California, though the forecast is calling for some drizzle later in the afternoon. A little bit of everything, eh what? Not much to do about it, whatever happens, so I just try to enjoy it….. y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!