Tag Archives: Keith Laumer

Happy ever after as a plot device….

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Ffolkes,
While it is useful for intimidating police, and keeping relatives at an acceptable distance, insanity can be… well, insane, to try to cope with on a regular basis. This characteristic is one of the many that keeps me from just falling into its warm embrace permanently. Once I give in and let meself go, I’m fairly certain I won’t be back, not for many a day, as the song goes….. I’m pretty sure it would be too comfortable…..

In fact, having spent a fair amount of time gracing the company of those who totally give up trying to be normal, those who instead spend their time doing exactly what they are hoping will feel the best, given their already confused state of mind, I KNOW it is more comfortable than anywhere sanity can go.

There is no pressure to be right, no pressure to not be wrong, and those are no small things, in a world that places premium importance on them. The insane, by the nature of their condition, and because of what others think they know of it, are possibly the happiest people in the world, as they don’t have to live up to any of the standards the rest of society is so invested in….

Why, you may ask, would anyone wish to be sane, in that case? That is a good question, not one I can answer without ranting, at least a bit, and I promised I wouldn’t do that in the intro any more. Well, it wasn’t a promise, just an intent, but, hey, almost the same, and I’m sure nobody else wants a rant so early in the day, either, so, back off….

Sanity, as practiced by most of those in society, is not a very comfortable, or easy, state in which to be for long, requiring as it does constant alertness, and regular maintenance, to keep it from falling apart under the daily assaults by Reality, and the kind attention of Murphy and his ilk…..

Insanity, on the other hand, has no stress, no pressure, and no responsibility; whatever one decides to do, no matter how outrageous, or out of touch with the real world it may be, is okay, and allowed. No limits are applicable, so the insane are free to let their imagination have free rein, and the results are incredible, to say the least…. Not always comprehensible, or easy to watch, or to deal with, but incredible, for sure… No sane person will ever be able to create art as powerful as a person whose grip on reality is less firm as their own, as they tend to set limits for themselves, as needed to retain that sanity…. thus shutting out that entire realm of imaginative possibility…

So, next time you have to cope with reality, consider how easy it would be to just let go, and not worry about whether what you are doing is the right thing…. It may not keep you from going down that road, but it may help you find a reason to stay on the road to sanity…. and, in the best-case-scenario, maybe, just maybe, you can learn to let that side out now and again, to find out what there may be there, that can be brought into the world, to share the beauty, or the wisdom, or the love that they know, in a universe with no limits… Remember, all the nicest ffolkes in the world are just a little bit tetched, as my father used to say….

But, for now, I think it’s time to draw this intro to a close, before it assumes epic proportions…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Reality can be hazardous to your health.” — Smart Bee

This one is probably not a surprise, nor is it something that is rare, or uncommonly known. Hell, it only takes a couple of years of living on this planet before this knowledge becomes second nature to us, and we know it almost instinctively. This, I think, is part of why it is always a surprise to us how the process of growing older is much more difficult than we imagined…. It is also why we always end up, at one point or another, saying to ourselves, “Why the hell didn’t anyone tell me this?” It may not be a conspiracy, but the end result is the same, because nobody is talking, and if they had any compassion, they would be….

Your guess as to why this is would be as good as mine, and I’m not sure it matters; what matters is that they don’t, and it isn’t included in any of the manuals we receive about Life and How to Live…. Actually, I don’t know about y’all, but my manuals were all lost in the mail, and I never got any of them… We WERE supposed to get them right? I mean, there is a God, by all reports from the rest of society, and according to dogma and stuff, we’re His responsibility, right? So, where’s my manual?…. Where is yours?….

Don’t try to tell me you’re buying into the Bible as the manual? Have you ever read that thing? It is the most inconsistent, poorly written, manipulative, and just plain most erroneous piece of literature I ever tried to plow my way through… Hell, the first chapter is complete science fiction, or more accurately, fantasy, and it goes downhill from there, in terms of what is believable…. I guess, even if all of the hundreds of different authors WERE connected in spirit, and only channeling the Word of God, it still has to all be based on events that have some basis in reality, or it just isn’t going to hold together, logically, or consistently…. There just isn’t any possible way to get a correct answer when the basis of an argument is false… The principle of GIGO trumps delusional assumptions, at least in the real world….

“The Bible is true this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” — Jordan Henderson

Okay, so if there aren’t any manuals, and the only folks out there offering to help are those who are doing so out of their own desire to control other folks, then how do we learn to accept all the hardships that come with growing older? Well, let’s see…. As I sit and consider that question, it keeps growing larger in scope, and the number of potential answers approaches infinity, so, I guess I need to narrow the focus a bit…. Hmm, break time…. gotta cogitate on this one….

“Men spend their lives in anticipations, in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time.  But the present time has one advantage over every other – it is our own.  Past opportunities are gone, future have not come.  We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.” — C. C. Colton

Okay, that isn’t a bad insight, all in all…. but, it doesn’t quite fill the bill for our discussion, for while it acknowledges the power of aging, it doesn’t offer any solutions, or advice, other than in a passive, negative sense…. More, please….

“Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.” — J.K. Rowling, The Beginning, — Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, — spoken by the character Albus Dumbledore

Hmm… a clue, I think, of the direction we are seeking to find…. a bit more fine tuning, I think….

“Bear, do not blame, what cannot be changed.” — Publius Syrus

Another clue…. we must be on the right track….

“Never give an inch!” — Smart Bee

Okay, we’re almost there, cuz the pearls are getting shorter, and deeper, always a good sign….

“I’m not a lawyer, but I play one on the guitar.” — Smart Bee

Well, see, I told you…. the perfect ending to a discussion of Reality, and how we deal with it over time….. In other words, ffolkes, you can’t really win, in the sense for which we are seeking to find a reasonable justification… The game is rigged, and it’s the only one in town…. But, it also implies that we can still walk away a winner, we just have to change the rules in our own minds….

In short, ffolkes, we’re on our own out here in Reality, and aging can either be a burden to bear, or an advantage to take…. It’s all up to us, ultimately, and we not only shouldn’t worry about whether or not there is anyone who can relieve us of this responsibility, but should understand that the act of doing so only makes the issue more difficult….

So, buck up, ffolkes…. Yes, Life gets tough, but, if we are smart, we can get tougher….

“I love ROCK ‘N ROLL!  I memorized the all WORDS to “WIPE-OUT” in 1965!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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Since I’m just that kind of guy, and I don’t have one of my own ready to bleed out, here’s a two-fer from Master Yeats, with a prologue….  Enjoy!  🙂

“No poems can please nor live long which are written by water-drinkers.” — Horace (65-8 B.C.)

A Drinking Song

WINE comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That’s all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.

William Butler Yeats

A Drunken Man’s Praise Of Sobriety

COME swish around, my pretty punk,
And keep me dancing still
That I may stay a sober man
Although I drink my fill.

Sobriety is a jewel
That I do much adore;
And therefore keep me dancing
Though drunkards lie and snore.
O mind your feet, O mind your feet,
Keep dancing like a wave,
And under every dancer
A dead man in his grave.
No ups and downs, my pretty,
A mermaid, not a punk;
A drunkard is a dead man,
And all dead men are drunk.

William Butler Yeats
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“In the words of Shankarachaya, “All impossible things can be made possible save the bringing of the fool’s mind to the point of truth.”” — Hazrat Inayat Khan (Sufi writer)

Sufi is a philosophy whose written words are not very familiar to me, as I’ve never made a study of them, beyond a superficial one, to get a gauge of its scope. I like this, though, and it says a lot to me that the author was able to independently come to a conclusion that is common to many other philosophies I admire, to wit: “Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.” It is a sentiment that, in a way, defines humanity, while at the same time, points out the fly in the ointment, so to speak….

Our minds, given the power of imagination, are our strength, our greatest tool in the fight for survival in this universe; they are also our greatest frailty, our Achilles heel, as it were. Imagination can show us how to survive, and live; it can also makes us afraid for no reason, other than our own ignorance. Our intelligence is our greatest ally, and our worst enemy…. and it is this contradiction that keeps us from achieving that serenity in society that is possible on an individual basis…..

You see, there are way too many unscrupulous people who DO know how to use their imaginations, to their OWN advantage, who are in positions of influence in society, and they are able to manipulate the vast numbers of people who choose to allow ignorance to rule their existence, all of whom would rather die than try to think their way out of a problem. These “fools” are controlled very easily, as they actually prefer to not have to use what sits on their shoulders for anything other than passing comestibles to their stomachs, and will believe pretty much anything told to them, as long as it is on TV…..

Here on this blog, I rail at this segment of humanity quite regularly, not that it does much to alter the situation. But, it is all I can do at the moment, so I keep on shouting into the wind, and preaching to the choir, because, naturally, the ffolkes who end up coming here are generally those who are already well-practiced at using their minds, or at least, not giving in to the urge to ignore reality. But, someday, perhaps, if and when I ever get off my ass to go try to find an agent, or a publisher, more folks will hear my plaintive cries for sanity, and it may actually have some kind of positive effect on matters…

What the hell, everybody’s gotta have a dream, right? Right…. well, that’s mine….. If I can bring some truth into the world, and spread it around where it can do some good, well, I can die a happy man, because that’s about all one can expect from this cold, hard universe… and it’s enough….

“Baby, after considerable thought I’ve reached the conclusion that the only conceivable legitimate answer to the Universe as constituted is a peal of hysterical laughter.” — Keith Laumer, _Night of Delusions_
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It took some patience, but that final pearl came through just in time, and perfectly closed the third section, with a statement with which I can wholeheartedly agree…. All in all, today’s effort isn’t too shabby, so we’re letting it go as is, sans critical judgment, though proofed and polished as best I may…. which means there is, no doubt, at least one hidden typo, that I won’t notice until it is posted…. Ah well, that’s life in the slow lane, I guess….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Literally speaking, it’s figurative…..

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Ffolkes,
Another fine night in Paradise, eh? I don’t know if I can stand all this happy, happy…. It was hard, but I think I’ve made the turn successfully…. time will tell. When I awoke this morning at 0245 (that’s A.M.), with (not) happy tears running down my face, I decided that it was time to turn this misplaced but real sorrow I feel into sardonicism, which, though no more productive, is nonetheless more empowering, and more pleasant to experience. I know exactly why I’m up at this hour; having to go to a psychiatrist appointment this morning has been eating at me ever since I found out I had to do so, as a requirement for my disability claim to be processed. The addition of this requirement at this late stage is typically callous, completely unnecessary from a realistic viewpoint, and totally infuriating, as it adds at least another month or two to the whole process, which has dragged on now for almost two years….

I also HATE the way this makes me whine with resentment. I’m a pretty tolerant person, about some things, but I really, really object to being ass-fucked by bureaucracies, just because they can. The case worker who ordered this requirement is a typical bureaucrat, obviously, as his number one response to anything he doesn’t immediately grasp is to slow down and add time to the process, never considering what effect that is having on the person who is seeking assistance. They don’t care; all they are concerned about is “doing the job right”, completing the paperwork, and meeting all the regulations set up by people who have never had to use the system, thus having no clue as to what their regulations do to people….

The only positive note in all of this is that, the longer they stall at awarding me the money THAT IS MINE, the larger the check for back payments will be. Unfortunately, knowing that doesn’t help now to make me feel any better; that money is still “pie in the sky”, until it hits my bank account. And, no matter how large it is, it doesn’t pay me for all the traumatic contortions that I’m being put through, just to obtain money that is mine to begin with…..

Well, it’s now almost 0330, so I should cease my whiny bullshit and try to turn to sardonic, instead of apoplectic, as I was upon awakening, and as I got when writing the above. This may be filling up space, but it isn’t very appealing to me, and probably not to y’all, either. The good news is that all of this angst and drama pulled another poem out of my head, without blood, but definitely with tears….. It’s a bit raw and feels like it could be refined a bit more, but, it’s going out the way it is, just because I don’t feel like fussing with it…. It’s pretty clear as it is….

Since I don’t have anything else to do right now, I guess I’ll go for a dive, look for some oysters with an appropriate pearl or two. It seems like the right thing to do, given the time and the situation….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Who, being loved, is poor?” — Oscar Wilde

Hmm…. While I happen to agree with this little gem from Oscar, I’m afraid I’m just not in the correct mood to do it justice…. I’ll have to try again…..

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” — Jimmy Buffet

That’s better….. This is a perfect quote for today, since it both points out the problem, and the solution in one lyrical phrase. Jimmy’s good at that kind of turning of a phrase, being an excellent songwriter. Now, if only I could find something, anything, that I found amusing enough to laugh about. At the moment, the only thing that seems to work is letting myself picture the SS caseworker undergoing the pleasures of a stint in deepest HELL! When I envisioned some devilish figure poking him with a pitchfork, I have to admit, I chortled. And when the devil then picked him up with the blade and tossed him into a lake of fire, I guffawed…. and felt much better. Shoulda thought of it a long time ago….

“Baby, after considerable thought I’ve reached the conclusion that the only conceivable legitimate answer to the Universe as constituted is a peal of hysterical laughter.” — Keith Laumer, _Night of Delusions_

Yet more proof of this theorem…. I’ve heard it said all my life that the reason people laugh is so they don’t have to cry, and found it to be absolutely correct. I’ve also heard it said, by those who believe in Him, that if God had wanted us to be sober, He wouldn’t have given us a sense of humor….. While I can’t necessarily agree with the idea of God, I can see what they’re getting at, and agree wholeheartedly. (Hey! Look! Something a Christian and I can agree on!…. Who’d a thunk it?….) I mean, why else would a platypus exist at all?….

“It is ridiculous to suppose that the great head of things, whatever it be, pays any regard to human affairs.” — Pliny the Elder (23-79 AD) — Natural History, Book ii, Sect. 20

This sounds a lot more reasonable than supposing that God is the sort of weak, spineless entity that requires worship and obedience from His creations. I mean, if you’re going to have a God, then why give him all the worst characteristics of a fool? The only people I know of who demand that sort of obeisance are pretty psychopathic, and take medications for their delusions; or, in some cases, elected officials will get this way. I just can’t see an entity who is capable of creating a universe even spending one second worrying about being worshiped; it just doesn’t make any sense at all, and, quite frankly, I can’t understand how anyone in their right mind could ever buy into that idea. Such worship would make me feel uncomfortable, at best, and I just can’t see a God worrying about it overlong…. If such a God were to worry about anything, it would be wondering how He had screwed up in making such idiots in the first place…. and, in figuring out what asshole even gave them the idea….

“A long tradition has regarded low self-esteem as a powerful and dangerous cause of violence. Our review has indicated, however, that it is threatened egotism rather than low self-esteem that leads to violence.” — Case Western Reserve University psychology study as quoted in Thomas C. Palmer, Jr.’s Boston Globe article (3-31-96),” Self-Esteem Self-Threatening?”

Here is a clue, though, as to how it all came to this….. As noted previously, Christianity, as with any other religion, gives its followers a sense of entitlement, and an opinion of their importance all out of proportion to reality. It is this sense of elitism that leads to a lot of the violence in the world, rather than low self-esteem; when one argues with a believer, their anger is immediately brought out as a defense against having to consider any validity in the arguments presented, and they will often resort to violence to try to force their beliefs on the unwilling. In fact, I’d say that 90% or more of all violence between humans is a result of a challenge to the pride one feels in their beliefs, or to the preeminence of their religious mania. Yes, greed enters into this equation, but greed is just another form of that same feeling of entitlement, so it doesn’t alter the facts at all; it supports them…..

The trouble with reality, is that it’s taken much too seriously. — Smart Bee

Smart Bee once again comes through…. it has faithfully supplied the proper quotes for this discussion, and here provides the perfect quote to bring this now over-long treatise to a close. We humans have a talent of screwing things up pretty radically, just because we can; it’s a gift. And then, of course, one must factor in that bloody Irish demi-god, Murphy, whose kind attentions are unwelcome by all. I once saw a pearl that said “God created the world in seven days, and then said, “I’m going on vacation…. Murphy, you’re in charge!”, and I knew…. the Universe is just one big joke, and because of our nature, the joke is on us…. so we may as well learn to laugh, and enjoy it the best we can….

“With YOU, I can be MYSELF..  We don’t NEED Dan Rather..”– Zippy the Pinhead
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Pieces of broken spirit….

Deep within the inner abyss, tears lay in wait
Ever on the verge, poised always to infuriate.
Real moments of sadness cracking our need
Swift, deadly waves of appalling terror freed.

Memory hurts badly when visiting now
Leaving me alone, forgetting even how
Killing the sunshine still pouring over all
Darkening all spirit, holding it in thrall.

Knowing no blame seems almost to heal
Yet healing is blunted, plainly not real.
Innocence is pointless compared with pain
On the soul it tattoos an indelible stain.

Hours become days, days turn to a year
Serving up only a compendium of fear.
Blind groping for light finds only dark
In caverns of terror, angry and stark.

Trails of endless sorrow fill up the nights
Confounded at last by unfathomable sights.
No hope can find its way to the fore
Never to sail safely, lost forever more.

~~ gigoid
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“I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.” — Mark Twain

Sam makes a deeply insightful point here regarding human nature, and any honest man can apply this to himself. A dishonest man, of course, would never admit to such prevarication. But, the rest of us wouldn’t have any problem coming up with a couple of ways to show this to be true. It seems to be a human trait to color the past with our desire to see it as positive, and I think all of us tend to minimize any problems we had in the past, preferring to think that the bad stuff either didn’t happen, or wasn’t as bad as we thought. I’m pretty certain that this tendency arises from the same part of our nature that will deny the present in order to believe in a more hopeful future, up to and including direct denial of what is staring us in the face….. and that is our fear of the unknown, or rather, our fear of our own inability to deal with that unknown….

People under the influence of fear will do amazing things. We’ve all heard about mothers throwing cars off their trapped children, or men racing into a fire to save a loved one…. even this kind of bravery is motivated by the fear of losing those who we care about, as much as it is by any more elevating purpose, like nobility or integrity. Those can also prompt us to perform extraordinary feats, but I believe the original trigger for those qualities remains our fear. Fear is our strongest and best teacher, even though our least favorite; we always remember the lessons it teaches…..

But, there is another side to fear, and that one is not brave at all. It is the part of us that cringes at what we do not know, the one that shies away from the dark, the side of us that stammers when we meet someone new and imposing, the side of us that retreats from what is real into what is not, to save ourselves from experiencing that fear….. It is also an unfortunate fact that too many people allow this feeling to control not only their reaction to many types of uncertainty, but let it color and control one’s whole outlook on life….. This is the kind of fear that breeds racism, and bigotry, and other such societal plagues, as the people who give in to these fears are in full denial of reality, and, what’s more, refuse to even consider any possibility of learning differently. Their fear could easily be eliminated by knowledge of what they fear, but they generally refuse to even look at whatever evidence may be presented to them…..

So, with this in mind, it becomes clearer how over 57 million people in this country voted for an obviously unqualified and dangerously ignorant candidate, merely because they fear the person he faced as his opponent. This number, to me, is very depressing, because it indicates that we still have a long way to go in our society to root our the basic problems of ignorance, bigotry, racism, and fear….. There is still a huge number of people out there who are in denial of reality, and refuse to look at any possibility of change….

Funny thing is, we know exactly who they are now, because they identified themselves at the polls….. About 92% (that is a guess, but an educated one..) of the people who voted for Romney were white, and while it surprises me not at all, it does make me sad, being white myself, because more of the folks who share my ancestry are part of that ignorant, racist group than makes me comfortable. It also may make others believe that ALL of us Caucasians are like that, which is just too bad, as it just isn’t true. Those fearful cowards are NOT the majority of whites, they are in the minority…. to believe otherwise is to give up all hope of change, and I’m not willing to go there.

Ah well, we did win, so that is something positive to which I can cling. It is just a sad situation to me, to realize that there is still a long road to real equality in this nation, and it won’t be any less bumpy than it has up to now. These people are not going to give up their prejudices easily, and it may be necessary to just continue to educate as many of their children as we can, and wait for the rest of them to die off, taking their fear, their racism, and their deliberate ignorance with them to wherever the soul goes after death…..

“How is a man like the weather? Nothing can be done to change either one of them. “– Smart Bee
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Well, not too bad, considering I’ve been up half the night writing it…. The poem was ripped out of me last night, but most of the rest was written starting this morning before 0300, so I’m quite content to let it go as is…. Besides, now I’m too damn tired to do it over, and I have to get ready for the bloody appointment with the shrink…. Ah me, I’ve done all I can do, and you know the rest…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!