Born to be mild….


“What men really want is not knowledge but certainty.”

~~ Bertrand Russell ~~


gigoid leaving his mark in Beijing, 2004….

Hajime…. To answer any untoward remarks before they occur, yes, my hair was short. In fact, this picture shows how I looked about a week after the very last haircut I got; I haven’t cut it since. The picture was taken during a short trip to China, where I tried, without notable success, to secure a job teaching English in their schools for a year, under contract. However, I mis-prepared, and was unable to secure a position before my savings got too small to stay….

I did spend 10 days in the capitol of China, where I met, and made some great friends, a couple of whom still communicate occasionally. This photo was taken by one of the other teachers seeking jobs, with whom I stayed, in a bar in some random alley, called hutongs, in which much of the street and night life takes place. This particular hutong was lined with about 20 or 30 bars, all with different themes of music and/or decor, to attract tourists and their Chinese fans, all of whom want to practice their English. There is a rather extensive community of expatriates and traveling young people who also tend to gather there, to mingle and find someone with whom to speak their own language

A bit of history is always good, right? So we are told, anyway. Good morrow, ffolkes. I am up, tired and late, again, but, have a Pearl to post, so, all will eventually be well. Well, it will be, if Leelu and I can come to terms today. She’s being a bit rude this morning; can’t say why. She’ll get over it, as will I, if I can get this done. To help with that, I’ll use the old red-tape scissors on the intro, & get us on our way without any further BS, or nonsense, or, well, anything at all…. It’s actually pretty easy, and works like this….

Shall we Pearl?….

“I bid him look into the lives of men as though into a mirror, and
from others to take an example for himself.”

~~ Terence — Adelphoe, Act iii, Sc. 3, 61, (415.) ~~



joan baez


Today I felt like hearing a ‘voice’. This lady’s voice is, quite simply, the best of my generation….. This is her 75th birthday celebration, which, naturally, she celebrated on stage, in New York. Enjoy, ffolkes; she’s the best…..


Joan Baez Live 2016
75th Birthday Celebration






Dont keep calm


I’m still recovering from my trip, thanks to my advanced years, all of which seem to continually catch me unawares…. Here is a discussion from the archives, to sublimate today’s angst….. Enjoy!….

From 1/27/2013:

“Life is not separate from death. It only looks that way.” — Native American Proverb (Blackfoot)

Right! What a wonderful pearl! Not only is it short and sweet, it’s just packed with insight and implied wisdom…. In my mind, when I read it, I get a vision of a fireworks fountain, spewing light and beauty into the air, in blazing, colorful sparks…. A bit fanciful, but that’s the impression I got upon seeing it the first time…. You see, I’ve been thinking a lot of late, about Death vs. Life, due most likely to the fact that my own time to face that specter is approaching, seemingly ever more rapidly, as it tends to do later in our lives. When we look back over the time we’ve had on this Earth, the time left seems so short….

But, it isn’t really any shorter, nor, I’ve come to believe, is there anything to fear from Death’s approach. We all get to live just one day at a time…. Nay, not even so much…. we live one moment at a time, and we can’t make it go faster, or slow it down. So, worrying about what might happen in the future is a waste of the moment, and not worth the effort of doing so. In addition, I’ve come to the conclusion that what happens after Death comes for us isn’t anything to fret over, either, because, logically, death is merely a transition phase, from one level of perception to another, with the other being a reality for which we do not possess the ability to perceive, lacking some organ, or some mental awareness that is needed to do so…..

There is no evidence at all that consciousness, as we understand it, persists on this level of reality after the body has died. On the other hand, there is also no evidence at all that it does not continue to exist, on some other level that we are not aware of; add to this the simple fact that in our universe, according to physical laws, energy, in ALL of its forms, cannot be destroyed, only changed in form. The Law of the Conservation of Energy has been proven many times, and is not a matter for dispute. When one considers consciousness, i.e., the MIND, as a form of energy, it makes perfect sense to assume that it changes forms when we die, but is not destroyed. It is the only logical answer, as far as I can see….

The wise women and men of the Blackfoot tribe apparently were aware of this, as well as being aware that the universe exists as a duality, with each characteristic of reality having its opposite complement, that defines and proves its very existence. We see the world in these opposites, so it is very easy to be fooled into thinking that what we see is the true nature of that reality…. but, it isn’t, because those two opposites are all part of the same grand scheme of things, and cannot be separated, not in reality…. only in our minds, where we separate them in order to comprehend them….

“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” — Murphy, courtesy of Smart Bee

Why does he do that? Why wait until I’ve spouted off for almost a thousand words before dropping these little bombs? Ah well, fuck him, and his bloody white horse! Everything I said above is the absolute truth, in my mind, so Murphy can just go f__k himself. Even though this aphorism is also true as the day is long, I don’t think I’ve gone so far astray that it applies… so, in spite of the Irish asshole, we’ll push on….

I have yet to discern any reason that can logically, or even speculatively, answer the question of why we don’t remember any of the time we’ve spent dead, or whatever it’s called when we’re busy not living on this plane of existence. You know, before you were born? And after we die? All of that is a long time, and since it is logical to assume the energy that makes up our consciousness is still in existence when we aren’t alive, in the classic sense, then it is also logical to assume that our minds are busy doing….. something else.

What that may be, well, your guess is as good as mine…. But, some folks’ guesses aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on…. I doubt seriously that the typical version of Heaven is a likely scenario, nor is Hell…. I regard those as just the unscrupulous concepts created by the BRC and/or priestly hierarchies to try to control the populace, not having any basis, or evidence to support them, in reality. In fact, there is ample evidence that shows otherwise, if one is open to perceiving it….. I figure what Robert Heinlein said once is the best way to look at it, “There’s no evidence that says we live after death; there is also no evidence saying we don’t. Soon enough, you will know, so why worry about it now?” (That may be slightly paraphrased, but the idea is precisely accurate….)

Ah well, this subject, due to its nature, is one that we, or I, could ramble on about all day, and, from the looks of things, almost have done so. Life and Death are popular subjects, understandably enough, and since we all are experts, there’s no lack of stuff to read about it; everybody’s talking, as Glenn Campbell said. But, since we have the rest of this Pearl to finish, I guess I’ll let this go for now….. Just keep in mind, ffolkes, Death isn’t anything to fear, because, if nothing else, Life itself is proof of our continued existence after it is gone…. Think about it….

“The adventure is over. Everything gets over, and nothing is ever enough. Except the part you carry with you.” — E. L. Konigsburg

“One never realizes how much and how little he knows until he starts talking.” — Louis L’Amour



Confidentially Paranoid

Only when the bright sunlight of dreams draws nigh
can the dark glass of reality factor true value..
Destiny’s horses run in fear as time goes dry,
for grappling with fate in such traitorous venue.

In pallid costumes made of graven cast-off tales,
fallen angels and demons show the measure of faith.
No sad transactions should escape these well-marked trails,
no angry relatives cast insults to a sedentary wraith.

Meaning can always hide in literal cold intent,
yet show mere facets of honor to perishable youth.
Sincere contentions leave with sorrowful bent,
while bastardly arguments fill in poorly for the truth.

Gone are moments filled with florid blasts of rhyme
left to moulder on the shoulders of unreasonable hope.
Only courage can save these measures of unspoken time
to gather new issues, powerfully broad, painful in scope.

~~ gigoid ~~






Our final pearl today requires a bit of explanation. Well, more of an apology, really, but, we’ll go with the former, for dignity’s sake. These pearls all picked themselves; I had nothing to do with the choices. I found myself in an old, familiar state, wherein I cruise through the database, and let my hand on the mouse have free rein, connected only to my unconscious mind. The results are generally fairly subtle, but, this one reaches for new heights of obscurity. That’s fine with me; that always makes it a challenge to figure out the final conclusion, especially given the simple fact there isn’t always one to figure out. Sometimes, the mountain is just a mountain…. Enjoy, ffolkes; this one’s quite a ride….

Serendipity is where you find it….


“The cold wind that blows before and after time.”

~~ T.S. Eliot ~~


“If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and then
to make sure it’s still there.”

~~ The Cowboy’s Guide to Life ~~


The head thinks,
the hands labor, but it’s
the heart that laughs.

~~ Liz Curtis Higgs ~~


I postpone death
by living,
by suffering,
by error,
by risking,
by giving,
by losing.

~~ Anais Nin ~~


“It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another;
it is one damn thing over and over.”

~~ Edna St. Vincent Millay ~~


“Dharma: What is the greatest mystery of all?
Yudishthira: That each day, death walks the earth,
and we continue to live as though we were immortal.”

~~ The Bhagvad Gita ~~


“Forward goes the vanguard of the lunatic fringe,
tickling the death clowns of normality.”

~~ HealNorm ~~


“Change is disruptive–that’s the point!”

~~ Karen Bredfeldt ~~


“Toes, knees, NIPPLES.
Toes, knees, nipples, KNUCKLES…
Nipples, dimples, knuckles, NICKLES,
wrinkles, pimples!!”

~~ Zippy the Pinhead ~~



I did it. I wasn’t entirely confident it would get done, but, after a short conversation with a friend in Europe, and some minor scuffles with Leelu, it’s finished, at least to the point I’m done with trying to get it to look any better. Once again, we’ll trust the process, and go post what we have. I will try again, as is my wont. Moreover, I’ll do that, and be back tomorrow; habits die hard. See y’all in the morning, ffolkes; I seem to have little choice in the matter….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.


“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch

Featured Image -- 8118

À bientôt, mon cherí….

Safely beyond the reach of the corporate myrmidons….


Yesterday is a wash; one of those days that I’d just as soon forget, in spite of the rather nice finish it had….. Pain turned most of the day into a misery, a state of affairs that prompts me to make this decision…. The subjects, of pain, and/or yesterday, are now banished from all discussion, as being unworthy of either lamentation or praise….. There, hopefully, that will do it…. I didn’t wish to start out by whining; hence, the requisite banishment to the hinterlands….

It was bad enough yesterday without adding the indignity of whining about it, as I know, in spite of how it may have seemed to me at the time, my condition is not as bad as some other folks I know, and could be worse…. So, it’s not attractive of me to whine about it, when others have it so much harder than I….. At least, it seems that way to me…. At any rate, I was able to finish the Pearl, even though it was a push; afterward, THAT was the misery… which, I see, I am talking about, post banishment…. Does that make me a criminal?…. I don’t know, but, we’ll go on to bigger and better things….

Not that I could tell you, at this point, just what that might entail…. It IS still shy of 5 AM, though not by much, so, I’m way behind my usual schedule for this… A natural result, I would imagine, of the extra time I put in bed last night, to recover from the day. In fact, I slept long enough the cat got annoyed, & woke up milady, so she would poke me to arise…. Asshole cat!…. It DID get me up, but, unfortunately, it also got milady up, way before she was done sleeping….

I suppose it’s a bit pathetic, to have our lives run so chaotically, all because a cat decides to be a butthead…. Any time she gets annoyed, she starts in on her cycle of mischief….. Attacking ankles, jumping up on places she is proscribed from, knocking over stuff on tables or dressers, hiding when called, and generally getting into whatever she can, especially those things she KNOWS are liable to garner a “bad kitty”, or a squirt from the water spray bottle we keep for those instances….

I don’t imagine we are the only household that is often taken hostage by a cat, but, nonetheless, I’m going to start the process of talking milady into letting me get a dog…. I’ll get an Aussie heeler mix, mongrel enough so it isn’t expensive, but with enough heeler instinct to be happy to spend the day herding the cat away from trouble… I’ve had heelers before; their instinct to herd compels them to herd whatever is in their vicinity to herd….. kids, cats, hamsters, whatever, if it isn’t where they think it should be, they’ll try to make it go there…. If nothing else, it will give the cat something else to bother, or worry about….. and, I imagine, will end up the best of friends, as cats and dogs living together generally do….

Which is more than can be said of most people, isn’t it? I find animals, of almost all species, to be much easier to have as roommates than any people I’ve ever met…. They always seem to be willing to make accommodation for another creature’s presence, and usually learn to live without any severe arguing or fighting, other than the ‘play’ type all young animals engage in….. I have pictures of my own animals, cats and dogs mostly, sleeping and playing together, and will always believe, firmly, that the animals I’ve known were, or are, better people than most any of the people I compare them to….

Well, lookie there…. It’s an intro section, full and complete, with some whine, some cheese, some blather, and a bit of poignancy, just for good measure…. It’s such a full one, I’m not even going to think about what it says, as that could bring on nausea, or worse, the urge to do it over, and, I’m just not going there today….. Instead, we’ll do this…

Shall we Pearl?…..

“In the worlds before monkey, primal chaos reigned.   Heaven sought order, but the Phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown.  The four lands formed again and yet again, as endless eons wheeled and passed.  The wind, time and water (??) all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation, and it became magically fertile.  That first egg was called ‘thought.’  Tagahatha (??) Buddha, the Father Buddha, says, ‘with our thoughts, we make the world.’  Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch.  From it came a stone monkey.  The nature of monkey was IRREPRESSIBLE!” — Smart Bee

Well, sorry, I know it’s a bit early for such…. enthusiasm….  However, to my way of thinking, this makes just as much sense as the Hindu version of creation, or, for that matter, the Muslim, or Christian versions…. They’re all a bit far-fetched, don’t you agree?…. This one, bless its soul, has the advantage of the concept of ‘monkey’, a rather perfect representation of the irresistible force of nature we call entropy, or chance….


“How do you explain Wayne Newton’s POWER over millions?  It’s th’ MOUSTACHE… Have you ever noticed th’ way it radiates SINCERITY, HONESTY & WARMTH?  It’s a MOUSTACHE you want to take HOME and introduce to NANCY SINATRA!” — Zippy the Pinhead

First impressions are NOT always the most accurate, which, I’m sure, is a statement not all will be willing to accept without some discussion…. But, I can attest to its veracity, at least, partially, under the evidence of my own experiences…. Now, many of y’all may wonder just how an obituary column about a deceased TV actor connects to such a grandiose notion…. have no fear. You’re here in MY blog, and I’m gonna tell ya….

As a freshman in high school, in the fall of 1964, I was a member of a campus organization, the California Scholastic Federation, whose membership was limited to those students whose G.P.A. was above 3.25… i.e., the eggheads…. In my small school, there were only about 15 or 16 student members, who, once per year, were allowed to take a Friday off school for a weekend long school sponsored trip, to some location where there existed some kind of educational facility for us to explore, thus giving us a weekend holiday, as the educational facilities always seemed to be located near some attraction for teenagers, such as Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, Fisherman’s Wharf, or other fun places to waste time….

As a sort of reward for being A students, once a year, we were given two days to play, with supervision by chaperons, who generally were the most popular teachers and advisers…. In my freshman year, my first as a member, we went to L.A., ostensibly to tour a movie studio, to observe how movies were made…. a fine prospect, to us, since it also gave us a whole day to attend the other fun activity of our choice, since the area has so many places that specialize in taking the money of millions of teens and their parents….

We chose Disneyland, for our activity AFTER seeing Warner Brothers Studios, the home of the TV studio where “The FBI”, a long-running series in the 60’s, was filmed…. The show’s leading star, of course, was Efrem Zimbalist, Jr., as noted in the above article…

See where this is headed? Yep, while touring Warner Bros., we got to watch as that show was shot, during which, Mr. Zimbalist, Jr. came over, near where we were standing, intending to use a telephone on a stand, right next to where I stood….

For about two or three minutes, I was treated/subjected to listening to his phone conversation with whomever was on the other end…. I decided, as I stood there, trapped in a spot where I couldn’t politely walk away, and couldn’t make it obvious I was listening, to do my best to try to not listen, but, it wasn’t possible to ignore it, as he didn’t seem to notice anyone was there, & spoke at the top of his actor’s voice….

The impression that conversation had on me was an epiphany; it gave me an entirely new perspective on TV, on actors, and on the entire culture we live in…. a lot, I know, for one short eavesdrop, but, remember, I was a smart kid…. and got even smarter after hearing that conversation, believe me….

For the next five minutes, all of my illusions, of modern culture, of society, of what we perceived vs. what we could believe, were shattered beyond all hope of reconstruction….. As I stood there, trapped and bemused, I listened to this man, who, according to the roles he played on TV, was a stud, a man’s man, a huge person who dominated the room he was in by force of personality… I listened as he stood next to me, blithely destroying ALL of my illusions….

First, he’s tiny… At 15 or 16, I was about 5’6″ tall, & weighed about 140 or so; he could not have been taller than 5’2″, & seemed shorter. Standing next to me, he came up to my shoulder, and couldn’t have weighed in at more than 110-115 lbs. Since we were at a filming of the FBI, he was in the standard cop suit, this one with heavily padded shoulders, to make him look bigger….

He was wearing nice shoes, though, since they never got on camera…. You see, The stage upon which they filmed was staggered with steps…. Efrem was the only actor on the top level, all the other parts played steps lower, and the cameras filmed the scenes from below the steps…. This gave the visual impression on screen that Efrem was taller, or as tall as everyone else, though he only stood as high as most of their chins……

He was not only tiny, compared to a high school freshman, but, his mannerisms and speech patterns were NOT exactly those one associates with someone like the Marlboro Man…. When he spoke, his speech was what I would term, “Hollywood smarm”, with lots of air kisses, laughter, sprinkled with ‘darling’ and ‘my sweet bubaloo’, or other such endearing phrases, all delivered in a high-pitched, distressingly GAY voice…

Yep, to my 15-year old mind, full of prior misconceptions/illusions, the way he was acting on the phone convinced me, without any doubt, that he was as gay as the day is long…. That opinion, which, naturally was a revelation, compared to what I had seen on TV, stayed with me for the rest of my life, and colored a lot of what I thought about the Hollywood culture, and movies & TV at large….

But, what I now realize, after reading more about him in the retrospective article above, is that my impression was influenced a great deal by the cloud of misconceptions and prejudices I yet retained in my persona at that tender age, of fourteen, or fifteen, depending on the time of the year it actually took place in reality, outside my obviously colored memory…. What I thought I knew, at that age, was seriously challenged by the tenor, content, and delivery of the interaction I heard that day, and not all of what I perceived was fully understood by my adolescent self…. all of which is what I see NOW, but didn’t understand then….

In essence, I’ve been laboring for many years under a staggeringly WRONG impression, created by a moment’s observation of an actor, who, come to think of it, may have been playing another role, for the obviously provincial teenager eavesdropping on his phone call, to give the kid a raspberry, so to speak, without ever talking to me….

Regardless, even now, at my current age of 63, it seems that I have lessons to learn, about making snap judgments of people, based on possible misperceptions, and holding on to those as if they are written in stone, rather than being merely a passing impression that should never be used to judge another’s real persona….

I AM a Bozo, of the first degree, ffolkes, and, apparently, have been so for a very long time….. Ain’t LIFE Grand?….

“There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.” — Oscar Levant (1906-1972)


It’s one of those days, ffolkes…. so much one of those days I’d best use a poem of my own, to keep from getting anyone else in trouble…. Ah… nice…. This one seems appropriate…. Enjoy, please….

A Dubiously Soft Morning

Idiosyncratic images, clamoring for regard,
fill up the white, white screen on which I view
my life, never seeing, nor invited to sup
ambrosial remnants of anything new.

Still, but almost in motion, allegory sails away
bobbing gently, quick and easy to find,
signs of one happy child, seriously at play,
blissfully immersed, focused joy in mind.

Formidable cries of outraged simple justice
echo plaintive relevance, in half the time.
Maladaptive infants, destined for hospice
salvage an only child, daring to sing in rhyme.

Creativity equals unquestioning farce,
often reaching for absurdity, brazenly afire.
Instead, a blow is felt that no joy will soften,
accepting the price, added to the cost of desire.

~~ gigoid ~~


The piece in section one has been developed over the last five days, since the article appeared; I was fortunate it was nearly complete, as my late start today had me behind schedule…. But, since all I had to do was finish the last four or five paragraphs today, we are back to being fairly on time, and can put here a normally constructed old-school pearl, just as if it were meant to be that way…..

You gotta love serendipity… Well, I do…. it saves me a lot of time and energy…. Too bad, being what it is, we can’t DEPEND on it always being there for us, but, hey, it always feels good when it IS around, so, that will do…. Enjoy, if you please….

“God always has another custard pie up his sleeve.” — Smart Bee

“He who dies for virtue, does not perish.” — Plautus (B.C. 254-184)

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” — Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“Every word that we utter rouses its contrary.” — Goethe, _Maxims and Reflections_

“Ignorance of one’s misfortunes is clear gain.’ — Euripides

“The head thinks, the hands labor, but it’s the heart that laughs.” — Liz Curtis Higgs

” — Bother!” said Pooh “Eeyore, ready two photon torpedoes and lock phasers on the Heffalump; Piglet, meet me in transporter room three.”

By the way, this pearl is a classic…. Surrounded, by bookends from Smart Bee and Pooh’s evil twin, the five pieces of LIFE knowledge in between assume a greater degree, or darker, more noticeable shade, if you will, of their inherent meaning from the contrast implied by their positions…. Or, that could be just another of my own little personal delusions, but, we’ll never know now, will we, because, hey, I’m outta here….


(For the next line, you must imagine the voice speaking these lines with an accent…. Little Rock, Arkansas, or perhaps, Birmingham, Alabama will be about right…..) Well, shoot, Orville, tha’s jest a whole lot better ‘en I thought it maght be….Ah thank we cane let it go on out thar ‘thout any more tweakin’…. (Okay, accent off…. if you’re having trouble doing that in your head, just use the toggle switch on the underside of the left hand arm rest of your seat….)

Having thus completed my self-imposed duty, I will now take my leave of you, post-haste, to try to beat the also self-imposed deadline for posting…. Well, that, and the obviously forthcoming legal challenges…. In any case, it’s done, I’m happy, and I’m gone….. See ya, ffolkes….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid the dubious