Tag Archives: Maya Angelou

It’s almost as if I really existed!…..

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Ffolkes,

It is official. I’ve gone and gotten old, beyond all shadow of a doubt. My mind, and my attitudes, still would like me to believe I am 25 years old, even though I don’t think I’d enjoy being that young again, from an experiential standpoint. Besides, my body KNOWS it isn’t 25 any more, and will let me know post haste, if I am incautious. Trying to move as if I still were in my physical prime can have disastrous results, and I don’t remember being anywhere near as skeptical as I am now, about most things. That point, about my physical degradation over time, was driven home to me yesterday, on my trip down the hill to post the Pearl….

All went okay, until I began the walk home, uphill for three full city blocks. By the end of the first block, my hips and back had stiffened up enough to let me know they didn’t appreciate my efforts, and were threatening to put me into complete muscle spasm all over my back, if I didn’t quit bothering them…. Since I still had two blocks to go, I had to adjust my gait to that of the old toddlers you see waddling around in convalescent homes, using a cane or walker to transverse the 20 feet to the next room at the blazing speed of 20 feet per 4 minutes, taking four-inch steps, one at a time, with a pause between each one, to make sure all is balanced. It took me, literally, 18 minutes to walk the final two blocks, and I felt as if I’d been running a marathon….

So, I’m convinced…. I’m not 25 anymore, and never will be again. It’s a pain, but there it is, all shiny, highly resistant to being ignored, so what are ya gonna do? Fighting against it, quite simply, hurts, and I have no intention of adding any pain to my already overfull account….. So, I’m old…… I admit it…..

Since I am, I suppose I’d best just get over it, and deal…. Rather than fall immediately into a whine, or even a rant about it, I’ll just act my age, and say, “Bring it on, universe!”….. Well, no, that wouldn’t be quite age-appropriate, would it? I’ll just quietly accept the news, sigh a bit, and toddle off to take a nap…. Well, I would, but I just got up, so, that will have to wait until later….. Since all the other alternatives are out of order, so to speak, I guess I’ll just forget the whole business, and get back to what I’m supposed to be doing this time of day…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.” — Oscar Wilde

One may always trust Oscar Wilde to be both elegantly witty and intelligently insightful, though, to be sure, many of his most closely held views were somewhat divergent with what was commonly held to be true, philosophically. This divergence was, I believe, mostly deliberate on his part, as he tended to mock that which he did not respect, and he never had much respect for…. well, anything to do with human nature vs. reason and rationality. He mistrusted most people to act morally, and was unafraid of saying so; this, of course, made him both famous, and infamous….. His infamy, I’m sure, ultimately was his undoing, much to society’s loss; as is said so often about our brightest minds, “only the good die young….”

I often wonder, (well, maybe not so often, as much as I’m wondering now…) what the world today would be like, if somehow, some of those bright stars in history had lived to an age where their accomplishments, in relation to the advancement of human thought, and the betterment of the human condition, had a broader, and more lasting effect than their absence has left us. What if Keats had written poetry until he was 85? How many more inventions would have come to us from Nicolas Tesla, had he lived long enough for the rest of the scientific world to catch up to him, instead of hounding him to an early grave? How much more good music, and art, and literature would be available to all of us, if not for this tendency for the best of us to live as a burning meteor, flaming brightly through the sky, until burned out and lifeless?

It is a sad commentary for society to know that it is often the very brilliance of these people that brings about their downfall, at the hands of the ignorant, and the avaricious…. What is even sadder, to me, is that this demonstrates another part of human nature that is responsible for almost every issue in human history, and current society, that causes people to suffer pain, oppression, perpetual struggle, and will most certainly ultimately   lead to the extinction of our species, on this planet, at minimum, if not completely…..

That piece of our nature is the unfortunate characteristic, in a number of humans, to be able to put aside all conscience, and act solely in their own self interest. All of us, of course, possess this to some degree; it is an outgrowth of having a will to survive. To these few others, it is their primary modus operandi; they simply do not take other people, or their concerns, into account when deciding what they are going to do, and are not hampered by the consideration of any suffering they may cause other people, animals, or things.

As is patently obvious, to my mind, every elected official, every high level preacher, every corporate magnate, and a great many lawyers, are all of this ilk, and have, for nearly 230 years now, been quietly and efficiently plundering the pockets and rights of the American people (and those of every other country in the world, for that matter…. it is a HUMAN condition, not just American…. Ours are just some of the most obvious about it….), while simultaneously lying, cheating, and otherwise acting to secure their stranglehold on society.

Anyone who disagrees with this assessment, quite simply, isn’t paying enough attention to the world around them….. Sorry to be so blunt, but the facts are all laid out, right there, almost every day in the news media, if one knows how to look at the larger picture it presents, rather than the individual facets of that picture. Focusing on the little shit is just what those in power wish for people to do…. it keeps them busy not noticing other, more incriminating stuff they are carrying out, in the darkness where they mostly live….

“… change depends on individual acts of courage and commitment. Most such acts are private, invisible, and uncelebrated. But some find a place in the public spotlight; and their influence goes far beyond mere example.” — Arthur C. Clarke & Michael Kube-McDowell,  The Trigger, 1999

Each and every one of us, in the face of what we know about reality, is responsible in some way, and to some degree, for both the way things are, and the way they will be in the future. If you don’t believe that, well, discussion is, for you, probably useless, and little hope remains. For anyone with moderate insight, however, this is plain, clear truth, and we all need to accept it before any significant progress can be expected against those who are sociopathic, which I define, and hereby name, as homo suicidus, those who would kill us all…. But, it is imperative that we act soon, for the damage we have done, and continue to do to our world, is at a point where the effects are nearly irreversible, and even if we manage to wrest control from the beloved ruling class,it may be too late to save our lives….

“In regard to disagreeable and formidable things, prudence does not consist in evasion, or in flight, but in courage. He who wishes to walk in the most peaceful parts of life with any serenity must screw himself up to resolution. Let him front the object of his worst apprehension, and his stoutness will commonly make his fear groundless.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson, _Essays_, Prudence

It is my hope, small and pale though it be, that we WILL speak up, that the rational among us will rise up, and take back the control of our destiny from the hands of those who would see us all die, rather than give up their own control. It will only happen when men of courage, as defined by Mr. Emerson, stand up to those who would render us all impotent, for their own benefit. The only hope that exists for the rest of us lies in enough of us showing this kind of courage, and overcoming the fear that keeps us in thrall…..

“I cannot praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, unexercised and unbreathed, that never sallies out and sees her adversary, but slinks out of the race where that immortal garland is to be run for, not without dust and heat.” — John Milton (1608-1674) — Areopagitica

Myself, I don’t want to die ignominiously, gasping for breath, because I didn’t have the courage to speak up, and to fight back against the immoral, avaricious assholes who dominate society….. Instead, let’s create a whole new world, without a beloved ruling class, at all….. Who knows? We might just find out that anarchy works!….. Worth a try, I think….. And, if it doesn’t work, well, we can always try a technocracy, which we have yet to do in history….. With a bit of foresight and planning, it might just be what we need to survive our own foolishness… Maybe, Richard Brautigan had the truest prophetic vision, when he wrote “All watched over, by machines of loving grace….”

“Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction.” — Pablo Picasso

History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, but if faced
With courage, need not be lived again.

— Maya Angelou, “On the Pulse of Morning”
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Between what I see and what I say
Between what I say and what I keep silent
Between what I keep silent and what I dream
Between what I dream and what I forget:
Poetry.
— Octavio Paz (1914-1998)

No More Clichés

Beautiful face
That like a daisy opens its petals to the sun
So do you
Open your face to me as I turn the page.

Enchanting smile
Any man would be under your spell,
Oh, beauty of a magazine.

How many poems have been written to you?
How many Dantes have written to you, Beatrice?
To your obsessive illusion
To you manufacture fantasy.

But today I won’t make one more Cliché
And write this poem to you.
No, no more clichés.

This poem is dedicated to those women
Whose beauty is in their charm,
In their intelligence,
In their character,
Not on their fabricated looks.

This poem is to you women,
That like a Shahrazade wake up
Everyday with a new story to tell,
A story that sings for change
That hopes for battles:
Battles for the love of the united flesh
Battles for passions aroused by a new day
Battle for the neglected rights
Or just battles to survive one more night.

Yes, to you women in a world of pain
To you, bright star in this ever-spending universe
To you, fighter of a thousand-and-one fights
To you, friend of my heart.

From now on, my head won’t look down to a magazine
Rather, it will contemplate the night
And its bright stars,
And so, no more clichés.

Octavio Paz
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“But my dear man, reality is only a Rorschach ink-blot, you know.” — Alan Watts

I enjoy the words of Alan Watts, and have done so since first reading one of his books in college, many years ago. His command of English is so deep and wide that he is somewhat hard to read, due to the weight and depth of both the material under discussion, and of the words he chooses to use. But, working one’s way through to the end of what he writes is well worth all the effort, for he explains the complex, and yet simple, wisdom of the Eastern religions and philosophies, in Western terms, so they are comprehensible to those same Western thinkers, with a clarity heretofore unseen. This particular line is one of his most simply written, yet is still deep and insightful…..

With one swift phrase, Reality is laid bare for all to understand, showing its flexibility, it’s malleable nature able to become whatever we perceive it to be. Each of us has our own interpretation of what we perceive as reality, and it is often very different than what others may believe it to be. Sometimes, I am absolutely amazed at the variety of perceptions that people describe, and feel a lot of satisfaction, on one level at least. That is the level of interaction…. I think it is just wonderful, that people from so many different backgrounds, and so many different ways of looking at the same thing, can still live together on one planet in relative harmony.

It would seem apparent that so many differing viewpoints would cause a lot of trouble, and to some extent that’s true…. There is a lot of trouble on this world, and Reality is not a place for the weak or timid to hang out safely. But, mostly, all the various attitudes and outlooks on life seem to shuffle along without much conflict, at the personal level, compared to what might be expected. One of those little unexplained miracles in life that we often don’t see, or appreciate….. The phenomenon is even more pronounced in institutions such as mental hospitals, where the visions of reality are of such a nature as to seem limitless in their variety. I was always impressed at how people from so many different parts of the galaxy were able to live together in peace….   🙂

For me, the best part about the nature of Reality is this chameleon-like quality: it can be anything we want it to be. We can accept the perceptions it sends us, and even see, and understand, what those are describing to others, thus making it convenient for us to communicate about it. Or, we can choose to alter those perceptions, either in the way we receive them, or in the way we interpret them; either method gives us control over exactly how we view what is now a somewhat questionable form of Reality.

(It occurs to me that maybe I should use the capitalization technique, as with the words ‘pearl’, and ‘Pearl’…. Yeah, that’s the ticket… Okay, so ‘Reality’, capitalized, is what we all agree to see, and ‘reality’ is what each of us sees personally, with the word ‘see’ used to indicate ‘perceive’ because it’s a shorter word, took less time to type, and allowed me to further obfuscate matters in order to create the need to clear them up….. That should help clarify where we are in a sentence, even if it doesn’t actually simplify things at all…..)

Speaking of knowing where we are, this discussion seems to have reached a point where the next destination may be out of reach. Oh, not that the reality of it is too abstruse, or complicated, or even merely disgusting. No, it’s just too esoteric for me at 0815 in the morning, after already composing a couple thousand words on human nature and and the nature of Reality. It is almost a depressing come-down to have to consider ending this, since it was flowing so well, but, the perfect closing pearl showed itself, and I’m not one to argue with Smart Bee, or Zippy….. Stay alert, ffolkes, Reality can suck, and it can bite, when it’s not being nice…..

“I guess it was all a DREAM..  or an episode of HAWAII FIVE-O…” — Zippy the Pinhead
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It bodes well for the new year that Pearls are coming out cleanly. I can’t say this is the best stuff I’ve ever written, but it was fun, and cleansing, to some degree, so I’ll take it. I wouldn’t go so far as to say my standards are deliberately low, to encourage posting, but it is patently true that being ‘done’ is the primary requirement, before any question of quality of content enters the picture. This one definitely meets that one, as I don’t feel a poem trying to leak out today. In fact, I’m going to surprise you, and myself, and end it right here……  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Adequate portions will not be forthcoming….

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Ffolkes,
It is unclear to me, even when I most try to understand, just how I’m supposed to cope with the different issues that keep arising. Without getting detailed or graphic, allow me to just say that I have three medical conditions that cause me either physical and/or emotional pain on a daily basis. Sometimes, only one is active, or giving me a problem. Sometimes, there are two of them working at once to drag me down. And some days, like yesterday, and, so far, today, all three of them bless me with their own particular demands for my attention, whether to merely acknowledge what cannot be changed, or to cope with symptoms that become extremely out of control or prominent. When all three are clamoring for my mind’s time, they each have their own little ways of grabbing the attention they want…..

One has to do with pain, of a muscular type, and is the most easily controlled; usually extra medication and time will fix it. Another, unfortunately, doesn’t respond to that kind of treatment, and requires a different approach to avoiding issues, essentially dietary boundaries that must be maintained. The last is the most insidious, and strikes in my mind, the depression and tears and guilt that swamps me at times, and only can be dissipated by spending a long time trying to do something positive, or other kinds of activities that distract me from the dark thoughts that come with the emotions…..

None of them are any fun, to speak of. And days like this, when all three are active, are massive challenges to get through. Today may be especially hard, for environmental reasons that I won’t go into right now…. If you can’t tell, I’m trying really hard to be discrete, and to not turn this into another litany of complaints, that only serves to worry those who care about me, and I don’t want to upset anyone for something that I have to do on a daily basis…. today, and yesterday, have just been a bit more difficult…. lots of back and abdominal pain, interspersed with tears, guilt, and adrenaline rushes, and aftereffects of adrenaline, which, in me, lasts for hours and hours…..

That part is over, so today becomes a challenge for two types of pain, which isn’t so hard to deal with, in one sense…. Once I’ve finished this morning’s Pearl, the only task I have for the day is to make it down to the library to post and check the yahoo email, and I’ve become accustomed enough to the walk that I think I can do it without any extra difficulty, as long as I rest up well first…. No worries, as the library is open until 9 tonight….. Easy money…. Now that I’ve bored y’all to tears with my problems, I think I should turn my head to the process of diving….  It should turn out to be a more positive activity, and work out as well as anything else….. Shall we Pearl?…..

“I just had a mental breakdown. Got any jumper cables?” — Smart Bee
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“The simple rights, the civil liberties from generations of struggle must not be just fine words for patriotic holidays, words we subvert on weekdays, but living, honored rules of conduct amongst us…I’m glad the American Civil Liberties Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so.” — Senator Adlai E. Stevenson

“It is not a man’s duty, as a matter of course, to devote himself to the eradication of any, even the most enormous wrong; he may still properly have other concerns to engage him; but it is his duty, at least, to wash his hands of it, and, if he gives it no thought longer, not to give it practically his support.  If I devote myself to other pursuits and contemplations, I must first see, at least, that I do not pursue them sitting upon another man’s shoulders.  I must get off him first, that he may pursue his contemplations too.” — Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience

Okay, I give up. It’s been three hours now, almost, and these two pearls, excellent though they are, make up the entire results of those three hours…. That’s right, two. I keep refreshing Smart Bee, but it seems to want to keep offering up stuff I’ve been rejecting for years as not useful…. too short, too silly, too long and boring, or just boring. So far, every time I’ve rebooted SB, it seems to start showing me even older stuff than the time before….. Bah, I’m taking a break….

The remainder of today’s Pearl is hereby canceled. I can’t do it…. I’m in pain, and I can’t concentrate. I hate to waste the above two quotes, as they would make very good material. But, they’ll still be available…. I’ve been down for two hours, taking a break, and don’t feel much better. So, this will have to do. Think about the above quotes, when you have a moment; they’re good stuff. I’m going to get myself to the library, add a poem, post this, and try to get back here, where I can get back to what my body wants from me today, i.e., curled up in bed, trying to ignore it all…. see ya….

“I’d like some JUNK FOOD…  and then I want to be ALONE….” — Zippy the Pinhead
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“If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.” — Maya Angelou

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieve it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

~~ Dylan Thomas
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Here is the second part of the series begun yesterday, about a dark time in life for me…. this is some more background material about my skills and training, and a lead-in to tomorrow’s piece, wherein the hammer comes down…. or came down, right on my head….

Repercussions, Part II

In 1973, at the age of 23, I attended school to study to take the state examination for a license as a Psychiatric Technician (PT). The classes were subsidized by, and took place at, Atascadero State Hospital (ASH) in Central California. Junior college credits were given through the local J.C., Cuesta College in nearby San Luis Obispo. In conjunction with the classes, students were allowed, and encouraged, to work 20 hours per week in the hospital, as a supplement to the clinical hours required to complete the courses. So began my journey in the mental health industry, and unknown to me at the time, down the path to darkness…..

The hospital at Atascadero is a maximum security facility that houses up to 1200 individuals, committed to the bleak, prison-like hospital by the courts, as being either unable to stand trial due to being unable to understand the charges, or because they were unable to cooperate in their defense, due to mental illness. Some of these men (it is an all-male facility; women in the same legal categories were housed elsewhere, at Patton State Hospital, or PSH, in San Bernardino) were also committed by the courts as being Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity, or were those who had manifested symptoms of mental illness after being convicted of crimes and sent to prison. A very few of them were not insane, but were master manipulators, career criminals with very good lawyers who had convinced the court to send them to the hospital rather than prison. These individuals caused a great many problems, as they would manipulate their less functional peers into giving up their property, or doing their will, or  incite them to violence, just to watch the results from a safe distance, for amusement.

Working in a maximum security facility as a therapist is possibly one of the most difficult jobs man has ever created; a prison-like environment makes it difficult to create the ambiance necessary to allow the men being treated to feel safe and comfortable enough to deal with their individual problems. The danger of housing so many people with mental illness is an ever-present and overriding concern, as one of the primary characteristics of those with these types of diagnoses is a lack, or even absence, of impulse control. As a result, managing assaultive behavior becomes a necessary adjunct to treatment.

The Department of Mental Health, working with employees from all the state hospitals, developed a policy for dealing with the issue, and training in Management of Assaultive Behavior (MAB) was given to every employee who came into contact with the committed individuals. Since the facility was classed as maximum security, the training was especially important for the Hospital Police, who were responsible for maintaining the security of the physical plant, and for the therapists (psychiatrists and psychologists, nurses, psychiatric technicians, and ancillary staff such as occupational and rehabilitation therapists) who were the primary care-givers for the individuals. These teams were taught specific techniques for recognizing the warning signs of impending violent behavior, re-direction when possible, and for physically controlling individuals who were acting out in a violent manner, without causing or sustaining injury.

Most of these principles and techniques, if not all, were very similar to the Judo and Ju-Jitsu that I had been taught, so my prior training and experience became valuable tools for me in being able to keep safe both the aggressors and victims involved in the violent episodes so frequently found in settings such as ASH. I became one of the people who specialized in MAB, which necessarily meant that whenever a violent incident broke out, I was one of the first to respond, as I was adept at controlling the situation without any of the participants sustaining injury, the primary goal in such instances.

Working in such a high stress environment as a maximum security hospital was both physically and emotionally draining, and after three years at ASH I had had enough, and moved north to work at Napa State Hospital in order to get back to being a therapist rather than a glorified cop. I obtained a position as a PT in a treatment program for adolescents. To me, it was  a wonderful change; the kids in the program, a co-educational environment, were smaller as a rule than the full-grown men I was used to, and there were far fewer individuals who resorted to violence than at ASH. It was also different for being co-ed, as I had previously not worked with any women, or girls, in a therapeutic setting. Because of my experience in MAB, violence on the unit where I worked became a non-viable behavior for the adolescents, and after a few months the number of incidents that took place were greatly reduced.

After a few years at NSH, I decided to take an extended sabbatical from working as a PT, and traveled around California for a few months, until not working became a bore; I was raised to be productive, and needed to get back to work. I applied to and was hired to work in another state hospital in Camarillo, a relatively small town near Ventura in Southern California. At CSH I once again worked with adolescents, as they had a similar program patterned after the one at NSH. My martial arts training, which I had continued all this time, once again proved to be a valuable tool, and I again became the first responder at any outbreaks of violence among the individuals under treatment.

I met my wife at Camarillo; she was another PT in the adolescent program. We worked together, began dating, fell in love, married and started our family. It was a challenging period for me; between work, parenting, maintaining my marriage, home maintenance, and the myriad of little things that are the activities of daily life in this country, I was a very busy, very stressed individual. But I loved it that way, and was happy and content for some years. The economy at that time changed for the worse; we were unable to keep up with our mortgage payments, and lost our house to foreclosure. We decided to move north, to the Sonoma Valley, to raise our children in a country setting, with very well-respected schools, and a much lower crime rate than the southern California area in which we had lived.

I eventually hired on back at NSH, but the adolescent program was no longer open, so I began working with adults, on an all-male unit with individuals with a wide variety of diagnoses. As the level of security at Napa was not maximum, and the degree of training was not up to the higher standards at ASH, the units in the program where I worked were very dangerous, a situation which ultimately led to my downfall. It was about this time when I calculated that in my career as a PT, I had worked in the most stressful environments in the entire world, outside of battlefields, constantly in danger, and my martial arts background had become not just useful, but absolutely critical. I estimated the number of violent incidents in which I had been involved, and found that over the years I had an average of one major incident (translation: a knock-down, drag-out fight) per week since I had started as a PT at ASH. My calculations came to a minimum of 728 incidents. I was appalled, but also somewhat proud of this figure; in all those incidents only one of the individuals had sustained a minor injury, and I had sustained one minor injury myself. Not a bad record all in all…2 failures and 726 successful outcomes.

However, the damage to my psyche that had accumulated through the years had by this time reached an unprecedented and dangerous level, and I was finding it extremely difficult to maintain the now uncertain equilibrium I had achieved. My experiences had left me burdened with an indelible yet hidden wound in my soul, in my very center. The experiences to which I’d been exposed culminated in an incident that brought all of my pent-up stress to the surface, and affected me so deeply that I still feel the effects today……I became, quite literally, one of the “walking wounded”, a condition with which my generation, due to the Vietnam War, had become all too familiar. It was a single incident, that happened one night in 1984, and to this day I have never fully recovered…..

To be continued…..
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Naturally, Murphy felt he should make a contribution to today’s effort; I don’t know how I could have ignored the possibility. Ah well, blame my distractions…. but, regardless of his efforts, or my own, seemingly, it is done. It seems like a lot, considering how I feel, and I have to point out to myself, and y’all, that a lot was created way in the past, and a lot was faked, big time. Like I said, though, it’s done, and nothing will make me give it back…. I’ve tortured myself long enough, I”m done….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Fabled moments of placid acceptance….

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Ffolkes,
Halloween has always been my favorite, as far as any holiday can be said to be so, given my opinion of most of them as corporate/government  manipulations of the economy. However, Halloween has two things going for it that most holidays don’t…. One, it is patterned after real cultural celebrations from history, giving it the veneer of authenticity, and, two, it is the day before my birthday, which is the Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos in Mexico (And, if you don’t think THAT was a point of pride as a child, you don’t know jack….).

As a kid, this gave it the advantage over other holidays, hands down, and that preference has carried over through my adult years, for much the same reasons…. Costumes are fun, too, but, a bit undignified to fit in with my self-image as a curmudgeon; I haven’t indulged in a costume since my kids still were enthusiastic about holidays…. I just dress as always, and tell people I’m a serial killer…. they look just like everybody else….  🙂

This year, Halloween finds me up early, for unknown reasons. Actually, my recent schedule, of sleep, write, read, lather, rinse, repeat, etc. has been all over the map; probably has to do with the stress levels that go up and down, depending on how long I’ve been in the dark re: SS and their machinations and contortions. I’m hoping this early up means something in there is clamoring to get out, rather than waiting for me to persuasively seduce it onto the screen. We shall see shortly….

It could get ugly this morning, as I’ve no real material stashed, and I never know how Smart Bee will be about providing proper quotes in a timely manner…. it tends to listen to Murphy a lot when I’m not around. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m scaring myself, and I think I should go see how it is going to be…..

While I’m doing that, y’all can take a breather for a moment…..

There, feel better?…. Hmm… I don’t know about Smart Bee…. this is what I came up with right away….

“Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.” — Elbert Hubbard

Which isn’t bad, all things considered, but, it isn’t going to make much of a pearl. It’s too finished; there isn’t any more to be said on the subject…. Well, it’s not encouraging, but it was something, which is better than nothing, I suppose. I’ll just have to take my chances…. Since there seems to be no further excuse for heading on out, I’ll bid thee adieu, until the final lines, and wish you a pleasant dive today…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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And here, poor fool, with all my lore
I stand no wiser than before.
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

“This instant is thine; the next is in the womb of futurity, and thou knowest not what it may bring forth; maturity of the unborn is in the keeping of the Law. Each future state is that thou has created in the present.” — Akhenaton? (c. B.C. 1375)

“The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.” — Joan Borysenko

Living life well is a subjective goal, and, as such, whether or not it we are successful in reaching the goal is purely a subjective judgment. This kind of judgment requires introspection, which makes it somewhat of a conundrum for many people, as their skills at that particular activity are severely limited from disuse. Very few people today spend much time in self-examination, from what I can see. If they did, they sure wouldn’t act the way the do, or dress the way they are, or carry on such a foolish, self-destructive course of living….

“The study of the errors into which great minds have fallen in the pursuit of truth can never be uninstructive. . . No man is so wise but that he may learn some wisdom from his past errors, either of thought or action, and no society has made such advances as to be capable of no improvement from the retrospect of its past folly and credulity.” — Charles Mackay

Introspection, however, requires both honesty and ruthlessness, in being able to recognize those things within us that are not of value, and to remove them from our persona. As such, it is what most folks would term as “hard” or “difficult”, and they will avoid it at all cost, laziness being a rather common human trait. It is much simpler, and easier, to just take what all the powers that be, (otherwise known as either the beloved ruling class, or those most heinous of criminal manipulators, preachers/priests), are selling as moral standards, and use them, regardless of whether or not they are truly moral or not…. and I assure you, mostly, they are not….

“Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training, for it trains people as to how they shall think.” — Arthur Schopenhauer

I often feel like Goethe, in what he stated above, as I believe myself to be one of the few who actually do use introspection on a regular basis. I believe this because, if other folks were using this process, the world would look a lot different. Women would feel safe walking the streets; old folks would feel cared for; gay, lesbian, and transgender individuals would not suffer discrimination for their orientation; racism would be dead, and religion would join mythology as a piece of mankind’s past, rather than its current status as our jailer/executioner…..

“Being good at being stupid doesn’t count.” — Smart Bee

All of these societal problems (bigotry, racism, discrimination, slavery, entitlement, misogyny, etc. )arise from the attitude of elitism held by those individuals among us who never look within, to see just how ugly their inner selves have become, from using the sick, twisted elitism as preached by the modern religious and political leaders. We, as a species, cannot afford to listen any more to the Judeo-Christian ethic as propounded by the beloved ruling class; this kind of entitlement and aggrandizement has led us to the very brink of extinction, as we continue to treat the planet as our toy, instead of as our home. We cannot keep pouring millions of tons of carbon monoxide into the atmosphere and expect nothing to happen, because what will happen is already happening…. our weather is changing, and not in a good way…. the planet is warming up, and when it is warm enough, the ice at the poles will melt, and everything on Earth will feel the effects….

“The faith in which I was brought up assured me that I was better than other people: I was saved, they were damned … Our hymns were loaded with arrogance–self-congratulation on how cozy we were with the Almighty and what a high opinion he had of us, what hell everybody else would catch come judgment day.” — Robert A. Heinlein

As Akhenaton pointed out over 3000 years ago, what we do in the present will determine how the future will be. What our species is doing now will guarantee that most of us won’t be around to see what happens in that future, because we will be dead within a hundred years, or less, if things don’t begin to change TODAY…. Since it is unlikely that will happen, well, we may as well take the advice given to many school children in the 50’s, in learning to deal with an atomic blast…. to wit: bend over and kiss your ass goodbye….  I hate to be so cynical, but, introspection requires honesty, so….

“You were s’posed to laugh!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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A Brave and Startling Truth

We, this people, on a small and lonely planet
Traveling through casual space
Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns
To a destination where all signs tell us
It is possible and imperative that we learn
A brave and startling truth

And when we come to it
To the day of peacemaking
When we release our fingers
From fists of hostility
And allow the pure air to cool our palms

When we come to it
When the curtain falls on the minstrel show of hate
And faces sooted with scorn are scrubbed clean
When battlefields and coliseum
No longer rake our unique and particular sons and daughters
Up with the bruised and bloody grass
To lie in identical plots in foreign soil

When the rapacious storming of the churches
The screaming racket in the temples have ceased
When the pennants are waving gaily
When the banners of the world tremble
Stoutly in the good, clean breeze

When we come to it
When we let the rifles fall from our shoulders
And children dress their dolls in flags of truce
When land mines of death have been removed
And the aged can walk into evenings of peace
When religious ritual is not perfumed
By the incense of burning flesh
And childhood dreams are not kicked awake
By nightmares of abuse

When we come to it
Then we will confess that not the Pyramids
With their stones set in mysterious perfection
Nor the Gardens of Babylon
Hanging as eternal beauty
In our collective memory
Not the Grand Canyon
Kindled into delicious color
By Western sunsets

Nor the Danube, flowing its blue soul into Europe
Not the sacred peak of Mount Fuji
Stretching to the Rising Sun
Neither Father Amazon nor Mother Mississippi who, without favor,
Nurture all creatures in the depths and on the shores
These are not the only wonders of the world

When we come to it
We, this people, on this minuscule and kithless globe
Who reach daily for the bomb, the blade and the dagger
Yet who petition in the dark for tokens of peace
We, this people on this mote of matter
In whose mouths abide cankerous words
Which challenge our very existence
Yet out of those same mouths
Come songs of such exquisite sweetness
That the heart falters in its labor
And the body is quieted into awe

We, this people, on this small and drifting planet
Whose hands can strike with such abandon
That in a twinkling, life is sapped from the living
Yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness
That the haughty neck is happy to bow
And the proud back is glad to bend
Out of such chaos, of such contradiction
We learn that we are neither devils nor divines

When we come to it
We, this people, on this wayward, floating body
Created on this earth, of this earth
Have the power to fashion for this earth
A climate where every man and every woman
Can live freely without sanctimonious piety
Without crippling fear

When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible
We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world
That is when, and only when
We come to it.

Maya Angelou
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“Hateful to me as are the gates of hell, is he who, hiding one thing in his heart, utters another.” — Homer (c. 700 B.C.)

I’ve gotta say, I’m with Homer on this one…. In looking back over my lifetime, in fact, just about every time in that lifetime that I’ve been subjected to emotional pain has been the result of this very thing, i.e., dishonesty, or betrayal of trust. My most recent example of such treatment at the hands of others took place about two and a half years ago, when I received a double whammy, from my boss at work, and from the woman with whom I had been in a relationship for nine years. My boss, without ever once indicating in any way she was unhappy with my work, had me bureaucratically removed from my job as “unfit for duty” as a result of my back injury and pain. In the same week, the woman I lived with went from telling me she loved me on Tuesday, to asking me to not call her for a couple months on Thursday, as she wanted some “space”…. a euphemism for “goodbye forever”….. Both of them stuck a knife straight into my heart, metaphorically speaking, and I bled pretty profusely from that trusting organ….

Emotionally, I’m pretty much over these two incidents, though I’m still dealing with the physical reality of the first one, but, whenever I think about either one, there is still residual pain, and the tears still flow freely with the pain…. What helps is to realize that a) I’m better off being out of each situation, even if I don’t know why either one happened, other than by speculation, and b) they won’t be able to do it again, at least not from that quarter of the compass…. It also helps being the age I am, as I’ve now been through this kind of pain more than once, and I know that I am not alone with that experience, and I only have to remain alone if I wish…. There are other people out there in the world who are worthy of my trust; the trick is to learn somehow to recognize them, and to learn how to judge the strength of their commitment to honor, and truth. Like Tom Robbins said in “Skinny Legs and All”, the question that needs to be answered is, “How do you make love stay?”…..

The tricky part, it seems, is how to keep on trusting, when so often it leads to betrayal. Society teaches dishonesty and cheating as skills to use against each other; witness our entire political scene, and then tell me otherwise. But, learning to trust is essential to being trusted, so it becomes a balancing act, with one’s fear of being hurt on one side, and the need for human contact on the other.  Somewhere in the middle lies the answer, and that is when love can show its face, even if only for a time. One just has to learn patience, for the search for an honest man, or woman, has been going on for a very long time, and as far as I’ve seen and heard, there has not been a great deal of success at finding one….

“…and I get on my knees and pray we don’t get fooled again.” — Pete Townshend
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Well, that certainly turned maudlin on me…. I could barely write my way out of that one. Ah well, at least, if nothing else, it is honest…. perhaps, some might say, shamefully so, but I gave that up years ago, so, hey…. In any case, it’s done, which is something, given how things have gone this morning. Not to complain, but it has been tough to grind this one out…. I did start a poem, but, only got two lines in before stalling; it’s just not ready yet. The first two lines are good, though, so I’ll stick with it….

Any who, I can’t think of how to cause any more damage than I already have, so I’m going to consign this one to the place where I can’t get it back, and publish it…. Don’t hate me for it, I beg you…. And, if so, well, sorry ’bout that, but, that’s the way it goes around here….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Mired in the prime of strife…..

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Ffolkes,
Ah yes, the delights of awakening to the tender mercies of emotional distress…. Within 10 minutes of getting up today (Thursday, the 19th), at the reasonable hour of 0755, I received a call from Social Security, to ask me, in essence, whether I would like to extend the time it takes to secure my disability benefits, another six months, by adding on a visit to a psychiatrist to determine the status of my PTSD….. As you might expect, this caused my emotions to boil over instantly, whereupon I treated the case analyst who had called to a graphic example of just what state I’m in, PTSD-wise, blubbering in incoherent anger, bemoaning in no uncertain terms the federal government’s apparent desire to put me in a grave before letting go of my money….. It was NOT the way I would have chosen to start my morning, to say the least….

Now I have no idea how much longer this will take; I’ll need to talk with my lawyer now, and that can be stressful as well, so I may as well prepare myself for a period of insensibility, as my mind tends to want to shut down when stuff like this threatens my equilibrium. But, sadly, it looks as if I may as well resign myself to another long period of waiting in the dark, and can pretty much kiss the idea of Christmas goodbye for another year….. Too bad, really…. I had hoped to be able to actually go to a store and buy something for my kids for the occasion, but, I guess I’ll once again be trying to ignore the whole scene, and making do with giving them one of my own pieces of family history as a gift, or perhaps writing a poem for them…. not exactly the most thrilling of gifts, but, it’s the thought that counts, right?

Yesterday, the 18th, I didn’t post again, for the second time since starting this blog. It felt weird to not post, just like it did last month when it happened for the first time. As the poor federal case worker found out this morning, there is a lot of pressurized material stuffed into my head, and it needs to come out on a regular basis…. I did complete a Pearl yesterday, but couldn’t get to the library in time to post it, due to waiting for other folks to get stuff done…. SIGH….. Add a few more hit points to that stress level, ffolkes, and start counting!…..

Being a day behind, even though ahead, this will get posted on the 20th of October, 2012…. which, had he lived, would be my father’s 100th birthday…. and is now my youngest brother’s 57th, 58th, or 59th, I can never keep him and my younger sister’s ages straight…. Any who, happy happy to Kevin, and to my Dad’s memory….

As a result of this morning’s folderol, I am retreating, and will start looking for pearls as a substitute for going out to look for a victim; I always find beating up on somebody to be liberating, but inconvenient, what with all the criminal charges and all…. Instead, I’ll just pour all that angst into a rant, or a poem, or something…. maybe even a piece on Zippy, or Pooh, to bring out a few smiles. They (smiles) are buried pretty deep right now, but, a bit of Zippy can do wonders…. Let’s get to it….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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Raquel Welch:  36-24-36
Bo Derek:  35-24-36
Ann-Margaret:  37-25-36
Bette Middler:  37-25-36
Marilyn Monroe:  37-24-37
Jane Russell:  39-27-38
Jayne Mansfield: 40-23-37
Sophia Loren:  37-25-36

— Smart Bee (?)

So, sue me. It isn’t what you think, unless you are thinking what I’m thinking. I’m not going to say that isn’t possible, or even unlikely…. unless you  are thinking it is about some sexist premise that identifies women as objects. Being male, I’m not an expert on spotting or exposing that, but I’ve been around a long time, and have never held with most of what society holds as true about women, unless spoken by a woman who hasn’t proved to be one of the brainwashed….

No, this list is only here to note that what society seems to project, in magazines and advertising, through fashions and trends sponsored by those who determine such matters (i.e., the moneymen…) as the image of beauty, is not the same as what public opinion obviously feels about what makes a woman beautiful, in terms of weight and shape. All of the women in the above list were, and/or are, considered to be the visual pinnacle of what the public believes is beautiful, as evidenced by the popularity of their work, in film or on stage…. but none of them are at all similar to what the manipulators of fashion would have us believe is the ideal shape…. Whereas models can only be described as slender or willowy, all these women are what we might call zaftig, or rubenesque, in their visual proportions….. Personally, I agree with the public…. I find Ann Margaret to be much more pleasant to look at than any model in a magazine that I have EVER seen….. And, the fact that I feel entitled to make a judgment makes me as guilty of objectifying women as a man who utilizes brothels for sex…

Thus, if we grant the truth of that revelation, the mere existence of the list becomes the most objectionable piece of it….. It illustrates that the process of objectification is subtle; just applying such standards to women at all tends to cause people to think of them as objects, rather than as people. Society has been male-oriented for a very long time, a state of affairs justified as “might makes right.” Sadly; a lot of what is wrong in the world can be traced to that unfortunate fact. Men have, out of their own insecurities and fears, set things up so that women have very little say about what happens to them in life; those decisions are made for them by fathers, brothers, or husbands in most of the world. In order to do this, and not suffer pangs of guilt at every turn, men, and women, are taught that it is okay to objectify women, and to treat them as if they are property…. and property needs to be labeled, hence lists such as the one above….

Yesterday, rmott62 posted a blog, (http://rmott62.wordpress.com/2012/10/19/your-lies-are-part-of-our-genocide/), which I re-blogged on my site, speaking about this very subject, to wit: how the language we choose can objectify those of whom it speaks.  You can probably get a better idea of how insidiously the issue of victimizing women permeates society by visiting her blog; she speaks powerfully, with no punches pulled, from experience, and with great insight, much more forcefully than I ever can, so I recommend to you very strongly that you go to her site, and read what she has to say…. It will change the way you look at much of what passes in our society for normal, and make you ashamed for not noticing…. if not, it should, for we are all guilty of perpetrating the evil, if only by not acting or speaking up, for as long as the victimization of women, and the entire prostitution industry, continues to objectify, demean, and drag women of all ages into perpetual slavery…..

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I keep hoping, but the poem I feel in my head isn’t ready to come out yet, and time is passing (at the leisurely pace so beloved of the federal bureaucracies…..)….. so, if I want to get this Pearl posted today, I’d best be coming up with another poem for this space. I’ve become somewhat addicted to this morning dose of verse; it seems to make the prose taste better somehow….. Whatever the reason, I like it…. Here, then, is another fine piece from the annals of history, with some whimsy applied as the primary search criterion…. hell, whimsy could easily be construed as an algorithm, almost, in this sense…. Besides, the poem I’ve found is the perfect choice to follow the first pearl’s message. Any who, sensible nonsense aside, enjoy!…..

Men

When I was young, I used to
Watch behind the curtains
As men walked up and down the street. Wino men, old men.
Young men sharp as mustard.
See them. Men are always
Going somewhere.
They knew I was there. Fifteen
Years old and starving for them.
Under my window, they would pauses,
Their shoulders high like the
Breasts of a young girl,
Jacket tails slapping over
Those behinds,
Men.

One day they hold you in the
Palms of their hands, gentle, as if you
Were the last raw egg in the world. Then
They tighten up. Just a little. The
First squeeze is nice. A quick hug.
Soft into your defenselessness. A little
More. The hurt begins. Wrench out a
Smile that slides around the fear. When the
Air disappears,
Your mind pops, exploding fiercely, briefly,
Like the head of a kitchen match. Shattered.
It is your juice
That runs down their legs. Staining their shoes.
When the earth rights itself again,
And taste tries to return to the tongue,
Your body has slammed shut. Forever.
No keys exist.

Then the window draws full upon
Your mind. There, just beyond
The sway of curtains, men walk.
Knowing something.
Going someplace.
But this time, I will simply
Stand and watch.

Maybe.

Maya Angelou

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As always, when lacking the wherewithal to rant, or to discourse intelligently (if that can be said to ever happen….) I retreat into the wisdom of the ages, developing an idea with pearls that says, well, whatever it says…. I do try to make it enlightening in some fashion, even if only by providing some comic relief to the sober nature of much of the other material here. Here, then, are some pearls that spoke to me about enlightenment, each in its own little whisper….

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” — Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), “Lady Windermere’s Fan”, 1892

With virtue you cannot be entirely poor… Without it you cannot be really rich. — Chinese Proverb

A master programmer passed a novice programmer one day.  The master noted the novice’s preoccupation with a hand-held computer game.  “Excuse me”, he said, “may I examine it?”   The novice bolted to attention and handed the device to the master. “I see that the device claims to have three levels of play: Easy, Medium, and Hard”, said the master.  “Yet every such device has another level of play, where the device seeks not to conquer the human, nor to be conquered by the human.”  “Pray, great master,” implored the novice, “how does one find this mysterious setting?”   The master dropped the device to the ground and crushed it under foot. And suddenly the novice was enlightened. — Geoffrey James, “The Tao of Programming”

“God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent- it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks, please. Cash, and in small bills.” — Lazarus Long

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” — Alvin Toffler

“Avoid fried foods which angry up the blood.” — Satchel Paige, early to mid-20th century sage

“The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower.  To think otherwise is to demean the Buddha — which is to demean oneself.” — Robert Pirsig, “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”

“Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.” — Thomas Paine

The Journey is the Reward, Not the Destination. — Zen Koan

A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: “Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time.” When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, “The one I feed the most.” — George Bernard Shaw

Well, there you go…. If you’re not enlightened by now, well, you’re on your own, because that’s the best I’ve got in stock. Hmm…. gee, you don’t get the impression this is a metaphoric manipulation, do you? …….  Nah! Trust me!  No hidden agendas here, or metaphoric stimuli intended to create moments of zazen illumination….It’s all the real deal, and used properly, has been known to produce wonderful results…. and, well, the price is right, yes? Free advice is always worth what you pay for it….. Ta for now, luvs…..
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Well, the gods of literature can relax now…. I didn’t need to resort to either Zippy, or Pooh to get the Pearl done. I even managed to avoid using Will Shakespeare again…. though I do have a LOT of material of his that is appropriate for target shooting, it wasn’t needed today. Some might be thankful for that, but, they’re just jealous, for not thinking of it first….. Today we are back in waiting mode, with the added hope that the federal game of slow-them-down-as-much-as-possible won’t be able to find the dice, and won’t hold things up any more than they already have been….. Fat chance, I know, but, hey, gotta have our groundless hope, eh?…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Shadow dancing under Northern Lights….

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Ffolkes,
Here is how it works…. I talk, you listen. When I’m done, you comment, or not. If you like it, you hit the button. Afterward, we both go our separate ways…… Put like that, this blogging scene doesn’t come off as particularly attractive, does it? Not a whole lot of human interaction going on there, or any kind of connection between minds. The entire process, looked at from this viewpoint, doesn’t seem to be of much value, leaving out, as it does, all of the passionate emotions that permeate human activity of any kind. Without a connection to what we feel about anything, it loses a lot of the value that we put on those things…..

It’s funny…. WordPress tells me I have 161 WP followers of my blog, with another 30 registered for commenting. Yet, my most viewed and liked piece over the last couple of months runs about 10-12 Likes, with only a few comments. Now, I don’t know how to look at that, or how to feel about it. Should I be encouraged because of what is there, or should I be discouraged? I have no way to compare those figures to those of other blogs, so I’m not sure whether what I’m seeing is typical, or not. Without such data, I can form no conclusions…. frustrating, a  bit….

I answer every comment that someone puts on my posts, so there is a certain amount of connection. However, those comments are only from 6-8 regular contributors, and I typically see the same 6-8 folks on a lot of the blogs I read. I love the interaction, but I wish it was more, so I knew one way or another how people are reacting to what I write…. When I visit the blogs of others, I try to comment much of the time, to let the ffolkes know I read it, and thought about it….. but, this doesn’t seem to drive much traffic to my site, regardless of how much I say….

Ah well, much of the world operates the same way…. we do what we do, and the world pretty much ignores us. So, I guess I shouldn’t feel too badly that folks aren’t paying much attention to what I say…. they never have before, so I can’t expect that to change, just because I’d like it to…. c’est la vie….. It’s probably a good thing that writing this remains as much therapy for me, as much as it is designed for others to read…. with that in mind, shall we Pearl?…..
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“It is now some years since I detected how many were the false beliefs that I had believed to be true since my earliest youth.  And since that time, I have been convinced that I must once and for all seriously try to rid myself of all the opinions which I had formerly accepted, and begin to build anew, if I wanted to establish any firm and permanent structure for my beliefs.” — Rene Descartes, Meditations.

For some, reality is an illusion. — Smart Bee

Or, as I’ve said before, reality can be, and usually is, a slippery slope…. Philip K. Dick’s statement is still the best all-around attempt to describe the indescribable; he said, “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”  Perfect, as far as I can see; I’m near-sighted physically, but I can see a very long way when I close my eyes…..

At the same time, Mssr. Descartes most famous declaration on the subject, “Cogito, ergo sum,” (I think, therefore, I am) remains the most eloquent and complete logical proof that Dittoheads do not exist, at least not in the reality of anyone who reasons. ‘Tis unfortunate indeed that such folk occupy actual space in consensual reality, but, then, I’m not in charge of anything outside my own mind, technically…..

“Therefore, be ye lamps unto yourselves, be a refuge to yourselves. Hold fast to Truth as a lamp; hold fast to the truth as a refuge. Look not for a refuge in anyone beside yourselves. And those, who shall be a lamp unto themselves, shall betake themselves to no external refuge, but holding fast to the Truth as their lamp, and holding fast to the Truth as their refuge, they shall reach the topmost height.” — Buddha

Trust the Buddha to find the heart of the matter, and point the way to an answer of how to keep reality in perspective, This grants us the greatest amount of space and time to adjust ourselves accordingly, since adjusting ourselves is all we can really do to reality. A sure path to insanity is to believe that anything other than ourselves can be changed by our own power. We can only “hold fast to Truth” and accept the rest with as much serenity as we can muster…..

“The real in us is silent; the acquired is talkative.” — Kahlil Gibran

And on that note, we will bring this to a close…. it’s probably as close as we can get to a true mutual understanding of reality, so any further discussion would border on superfluousness. (I can’t believe it! Spellchecker says that I spelled that right!…. Now I KNOW it’s time to close this….)  Stay real, my friends…..
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I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

The free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and is tune is heard
on the distant hillfor the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Maya Angelou

I have only recently been introduced to the poetry of Ms. Angelou, but what I’ve seen has placed her high on my list of favorite poets. In addition to the power and beauty of what she writes, the subject matter she often chooses is very close to my heart, i.e. freedom…. I’m a sucker for a revolutionary woman….. Enjoy!
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This pearl consists of a series of statements from Smart Bee (meaning they were found without attribution….). The statements form an old-school pearl, all pointing in a particular direction…. the test is to see where they lead you, and whether or not that is where they will lead others…. At the end, there will be one last pearl, which generally is the best indicator of where the rest have been pointing…. just let your mind go, and allow the pearls to point the way….

Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with PMS. — Smart Bee

If you can believe ten impossible things before breakfast, then you should join: The Church of Counterfactual Belief.  The Church of Counterfactual Belief has been set up to cater to all who don’t allow demonstrable truth to get in the way of their beliefs. In addition to creation science and the flatness of the earth, the following beliefs have been certified by Pope Duane as Church dogma: that there is a hole in the Earth at the North Pole from which UFOs come. That pi equals precisely 3.000.  That sex can be enjoyed only by blacks and homosexuals.  That Billy Joe Wilson (Hoopla, Miss.) has successfully squared the circle. That Harry Truman is still president, and doing a fine job.  That pi equals precisely 22/7. Several other important counterfactual beliefs are presently being studied, including Reaganomics, A.I., and that the moon landings were done in a Hollywood special effects studio. These will be the subject of a forthcoming Papal Bull… — Smart Bee

You will be surprised by a loud noise. — Smart Bee

Don’t need to be born again – Did it right the 1st time. — Smart Bee

When a person brags about his ancestors, the best part of him is underground. — Smart Bee

You buttered your bread, now lie in it. — Smart Bee

“Well, it’s no use your talking about waking him,” said Tweedeldum, “when you’re only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you’re not real.”
“I am real!” said Alice, and began to cry.
“You won’t make yourself a bit realer by crying,” Tweedledee remarked: “there’s nothing to cry about.”
“If I wasn’t real,” Alice said- half laughing through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous- “I shouldn’t be able to cry.”
“I hope you don’t think those are real tears?” Tweeldedee interrupted in a tone of great contempt. — Lewis Carroll, in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Okay, I lied…. the last one isn’t a Smart Bee quote. But, it still points the way to the desired end point, so it will do quite nicely for our purposes. We may now return to our regularly scheduled program….
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As we come to the end of another day’s effort, we look back with some trepidation to see what has been wrought…. Not too shabby, I should say….. It will have to do…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Abstinence of compassion is considered immoral….

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Ffolkes,
Wasted moments come back to haunt, rattling chains and screaming demons; unrequited dreams of love moan in despair. Yet time passes, and all becomes dust in the end. No pain, no gain, but, the gains are one step forward, three steps back. Silvered memories of golden days shine off in the distance, while the fire of anguish cleanses the soul. No one leaves without singing the blues…

Sometimes, I know what is going to go down when I start typing, other times, such as today, I haven’t a clue, so that what I see on screen is as new to me as it is to you…. not efficient, maybe, but guaranteed fresh. I don’t yet have the patience to stay with one theme for long, probably due to not being able to sit for long without having to move…it’s hard at times to finish one of my more extensive rants, as I tend to lose the driving impetus of outrage when I take a break from writing about whatever it is that affronted me. It’s a delicate line to walk, but hey, like I said above, no pain, no gain…. and I love singing the blues….

Now that you are probably as confused as I am, I think we should go find some pearls…. shall we?….
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“I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country…. Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money-power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands, and the Republic is destroyed.” — Former US President Abraham Lincoln, Nov. 21, 1864 — letter to Col. William F. Elkins

Uh, oh…. I have a feeling that Abe’s fears have already been realized. The rich have become richer, and even now are making a bid to bring their completely self-centered agenda out into the open, by attempting to put one of the the 1% into the office of the Presidency, supported by a running mate who is a fawning sycophant of the elite, one of their unapologetic myrmidons, who parrots whatever the corporate masters decree with a big smile and a wink, hoping that someday, he, too, will be allowed into the inner circle of the beloved ruling class….

“Our congressmen are the finest body of men money can buy.” — Morey Amsterdam (written for Will Rogers)

If anyone has any remaining doubts about this scenario’s reality, let me point you to a simple set of facts… first, the average man has no representation in Washington, as every Senator in office makes over a million dollars a year; how can they possibly understand the issues important to their constituents, when they live in an entirely different social strata….

Unfortunately, they all send out the message that they are the “champions of the little guy” and know “how the average family feels” (which should set off an alarm right away…. how can they be both at once? They are mutually exclusive societal groups; you can’t be their champion, and be one of them, too….) Members of the House purportedly make less money on average than the Senators, but not by much, and who knows what they are getting from lobbyists?

The three branches of government: lobbyists, media, PAC’s. — Smart Bee

There is the second fact to remember…. more money is spent each year by lobbyists, to bribe and/or influence Congress into voting in their favor, than is spent on ALL domestic programs that aid the populace. The budgets for housing, education, transportation, food and drug administration, Medicare & Medicaid, and all other social programs are dwarfed by what is spent lobbying against them. Even more money is spent to lobby defense and security programs, but those budgets are far larger than they need to be by a factor of at least 10….

Then there is the cost of keeping Congress in perks…. they make a salary reminiscent of a corporate CEO, with medical and pension benefits that make the finest of HMO’s look paltry in comparison. A member of the House, who only serves one term of two years, is retired with a full salary, and full medical benefits for life; same for a Senator who only serves one four year term…. life-long benefits at a yearly rate of income that is larger than over 50% of the people in this country, including those still working. Now, what have any of them done that deserves that?

“The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.” — Gore Vidal

Aye, indeed, Gore has hit the head of the nail in one sure shot…. Last year, between the federal and state government, I paid about 25% taxes on my income, which is what I’ve had to pay most of my life. If I should work overtime, or make money considered extra to my salary, that rate went up to over 40%….. When I hear about somebody like Mitt the Twitt paying 13%, it pretty much pisses me off about as much as I can be… and that is only the one he let the public see… I’ll bet anything he paid less in other years, and I’ll bet he has more than one year when he didn’t pay any at all…. oh yeah, that’s fair and equitable law, for sure…. NOT!…..

“This is the age in which thin and theoretic minorities can cover and conquer unconscious and untheoretic majorities. — G. K. Chesterton, International League of Nations, 12/20/1919

Don’t forget to get out the vote ffolkes, this time it makes a difference. Not that the Democrats are doing much better, but at least they apologize when they plow into our exposed butts…. and I made that image gross on purpose, because the shafting we get from our government, our beloved ruling class, is an ass-fucking of advanced degree…. Any who, vote, and keep your powder dry….
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Below you will find an example of why the powers that be are always trying to suppress free speech, and particularly that of writers and poets…. They, our beloved ruling class, know that such words as these pose the greatest threat to their oppression of the populace… and these are particularly powerful words, worthy of their fear….

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou
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“He who endeavors to serve, to benefit, and improve the world, is like a swimmer, who struggles against a rapid current, in a river lashed into angry waves by the winds.  Often they roar over his head, often they beat him back and baffle him.  Most men yield to the stress of the current…  Only here and there the stout, strong heart and vigorous arms struggle on toward ultimate success.” — Albert Pike (1809-1891)

I like this statement, on several levels…. First, even though it is a bit pompous in its language, the message it delivers is one of great insight into human nature, and manages, in spite of its rather stiff phraseology, to inspire the very actions it describes. Second, it appeals to my old-fashioned views in many areas.

I have no idea who Albert Pike was, but just seeing when he lived, through much of the 19th century, gives us a glimpse of him… He was fortunate to be born at a time when this nation was young, and full of promise, with burgeoning confidence in our nation’s future. In addition, he lived through times that many did not, observing the growth of the country from 13 states to over 40, the Civil War, and the beginning of the Industrial Revolution. He seems to have taken a lot of the best qualities he saw in society into his own thoughts, if this one is any indication. Let’s see what Google has to say about Albert….

From http://freedomfighter.co/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=285&Itemid=1

“In 1859, Albert Pike 1809-1891), a lawyer, and leader of the U.S. Scottish Rite Masonry (who was called the “Sovereign Pontiff of Universal Freemasonry,” the “Prophet of Freemasonry” and the “greatest Freemason of the nineteenth century.”), who was fascinated with the idea of a one-world government, was chosen to coordinate Illuminati activities in the United States. He said they needed to create a political party that would keep the world fighting, until they could bring peace. Pike said it would be done “with tongue and pen, with all our open and secret influences, with the purse, and if need be, with the sword…”

“Pike was born on December 29, 1809, in Boston, went to Harvard, then later served as a Brigadier-General in the Confederate Army. He was appointed by the Confederacy to be the Indian Commissioner in order to create an army of Indian warriors. He became Governor of the Indian territory, and succeeded in creating an army consisting of Chickasaws, Comanches, Creeks, Cherokees, Miamis, Osages, Kansas, and Choctaws. He became known to them as the “faithful pale-face friend and protector.” The savagery of their attacks caused Jefferson Davis, the President of the Confederacy to disband the Indian army. After the Civil War, Pike was found guilty of treason and jailed, only to be pardoned by President Andrew Johnson on April 22, 1866, who met with him the next day at the White House. On June 20, 1867, Scottish Rite officials conferred upon Johnson, the 4th – 32nd degrees, and he later went to Boston to dedicate a Masonic Temple. The only monument to a Confederate general in Washington, D.C. was erected in Pike’s honor, and can be found between the Department of Labor building and the Municipal Building, between 3rd and 4th Streets, on D Street, NW.”

Very interesting man… the web page also listed some correspondence to and from Mr. Pike, and other historical information; it’s worth a few minutes to check it out…..
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Well, that was an interesting trip…. I’m done for the day…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Sadly enough, it doesn’t float…

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Ffolkes,
Even if it won’t float, it can be salvaged, or so it is said by those would would know. Me, I don’t much care one way or the other, as long as it doesn’t explode while I’m holding it. Of course that would only happen if I were caught unaware, and did not pay enough attention to my surroundings. Otherwise, it’s easy enough to deal with; it merely a matter of stroking it in the right place. Catch the right spot and the damn thing will follow you around like a puppy looking for attention. Kinda cute actually…..


What is he talking about? What kind of nonsense is he throwing at us today? Well, if you would just sit back and pay attention, you’ll find out…..nothing. I was talking about nothing. It was all a farce, a charade, as it were, just a little fun to pass the time on this slow Tuesday morning. If you really want to know what it was, just go through and find all the parameters I mentioned, and it will become clear that yes, this too is a farce. If you can figure out what it is, you’re better than I am, because I couldn’t do it. And I wrote it!….ah well, so much for levity before breakfast…..today’s group of Pearls is a good one, with lots of good food for thought….enjoy!

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T. S. Eliot

“If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.” — Maya Angelou

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
— T. S. Eliot

“If you wants to get elected president, you’ve got to think up some memorable homily so’s school kids can be pestered into memorizin’ it, even if they don’t know what it means.” — Walt Kelly, The Pogo Party

“Do you think there’s a God?”
“Well, SOMEbody’s out to get me!”
— Calvin & Hobbes

“Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh, and the greatness which does not bow before children.” — Kahlil Gibran

Can I get an “Amen!”?…… y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!