Scintillating displays of lug nut fasteners….

Posted on February 23, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Have you ever seen one of those silly little toy poodles, or a cockapoo, for heaven’s sake, trying to mate with a big dog? No? Hmm, me neither. Oh well, I was going to ask you a question, but, since you’ve never seen it,… Never mind….

Don’t ask, you DEFINITELY don’t want to know…. In fact, forget the above paragraph even exists…. I beg of you. If word of stuff like that gets out, I could lose my writer’s hack license….. then how would I eat? Oh, wait, it doesn’t pay me anything to write….. Well, never mind that, too….

Let’s hope third time is a charm…. We’ll try this…. Good morning! It looks to be another nice day here in California, and we’re all looking forward to the local flea and farmer’s market (or is that farmer’s flea market?…) at the center of the downtown area later today. There’s word there may be clowns…. so, keep the children and women at home, come on down, and take a few shots yourself! They allow the use of live ammo, and no penalties for collateral damages to local business, even if a clown crashes through their display window while trying to get away….

You don’t mean to tell me your town doesn’t have clown shoots? Hell, we’ve been holding them here every week for years, and the state government hasn’t ever bothered us about permits or anything. We have a direct line to the Barnum & Bailey winter HQ, where they’re happy to provide us with a number of their most nimble specimens each week, as they tend to breed like, well, clowns, when they’re in winter quarters, and they always have more lying around than they need themselves. It works out well for everyone, even the clowns, as they are fed & kept warm right up until they’re released for the shooting events….. Why, they even provide them lazy suckers with free noses!…..

Okay, my whimsy button got stuck, sorry…. I couldn’t seem to come up with anything remotely interesting to start with, so I just let my whimsy out, intending to allow it a few moments to play…. but it got stuck on some dried up Peanut Butter, and threatened to go on for quite a few paragraphs…. which COULD have been disastrous, given the tendency clowns have of getting into EVERYTHING while looking for spare jokes or hand-shake buzzers. It’s all good now, though; I think I’ve got them back in the bottle. I was afraid there for a moment, but, it worked out okay…. Nobody got squirted, did they? Good, there were more lapel flowers in that herd than was safe….

Now that I am thoroughly ashamed of myself, I will try to find the proper attitude of atonement, so the rest of this Pearl doesn’t crash and burn…. I’ve obviously pissed of the gods of literature, and must be punished. I’ll go abase myself at the altar of Smart Bee, and see if that doesn’t appease them at least a little…. I don’t know, they’re a tough room…. Oh well, little choice now…. Shall we Pearl?…..
__________________________________

Smart Bee is a very interesting piece of software… a database of over a hundred thousand quotes, poems, excerpts from historical documents, entries from the Devil’s Dictionary, and numerous other fascinating bits of information. In addition to the quotes, aphorisms, and proverbs that provide me with subject matter for rants and/or discussions, it also provides me with items such as the following useful paragraph. I offer it here, to my fellow authors, as a resource for a phrase that all of us tend to use on occasion, especially those of us who write about politics or religion in modern society, or in history….. it’s quite valuable in that regard, as it gives us a large group of words from which to draw what we need for our purpose…. To wit:

“This “brain-damaged” epithet is getting sorely overworked. When we can speak of someone or something being flawed, impaired, marred, spoiled; batty, bedlamite, bonkers, buggy, cracked, crazed, cuckoo, daft, demented, deranged, loco, lunatic, mad, maniac, mindless, non compos mentis, nuts, Reaganite, screwy, teched, unbalanced, unsound, witless, wrong; senseless, spastic, spasmodic, convulsive; doped, spaced-out, stoned, zonked; {beef, beetle,block,dung,thick}headed, dense, doltish, dull, duncical, numbskulled, pinhead; asinine, fatuous, foolish, silly, simple; brute, lumbering, oafish; half-assed, incompetent; backward, retarded, imbecilic, moronic; when we have a whole precisely nuanced vocabulary of intellectual abuse to draw upon, individually and in combination, isn’t it a little <fill in the blank> to be limited to a single, now quite trite, adjective?” — Smart Bee

See? Now, isn’t that just perfect? Now, when you’re looking for just the right adjective to apply to some random Congressman, or Senator, or Popish sort, and you’re tired of all the ones you’ve been used to using, here is a list that will thrill the heart of any true curmudgeon. I mean, look at it! Complete, creative, and chock full of straight talk about the folks we love to hate.

What isn’t readily apparent is the versatility of this list….. Grab yourself a thesaurus (Roget’s will do….) and you’ve got an even larger universe of words from which to choose, as you can take each of those above, and plug them into the book of synonyms for an expanded list for your use. Handy, eh? And so affordable….

So, in the spirit of public giving, I hope you enjoy this little gift from gigoid, and Smart Bee, and find it to be as useful as I do…. It’s just about as good as using Shakespeare’s insults, which have been compiled in a document worthy of reproducing here…. I found this recently, though I first saw it many years ago, on a WordPress site… THE LITERARY MAN ( http://literaryman.com ), one of the blogs I follow, and had to save it for my own use…. It’s also a valuable resource for anyone who wishes to put someone down in a classic, erudite fashion…. Use it as you will….

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À Bas Ben Adhem

My fellow man I do not care for.
I often ask me, What’s he there for?
The only answer I can find
Is, Reproduction of his kind.
If I’m supposed to swallow that,
Winnetka is my habitat.
Isn’t it time to carve Hic Jacet
Above that Reproduction racket?

To make the matter more succinct:
Suppose my fellow man extinct.
Why, who would not approve the plan
Save possibly my fellow man?
Yet with a politician’s voice
He names himself as Nature’s choice.

The finest of the human race
Are bad in figure, worse in face.
Yet just because they have two legs
And come from storks instead of eggs
They count the spacious firmament
As something to be charged and sent.

Though man created cross-town traffic,
The Daily Mirror, News and Graphic,
The pastoral fight and fighting pastor,
And Queen Marie and Lady Astor,
He hails himself with drum and fife
And bullies lower forms of life.

Not that I think much depends
On how we treat our feathered friends,
Or hold the wrinkled elephant
A nobler creature than my aunt.
It’s simply that I’m sure I can
Get on without my fellow man.

~~ Ogden Nash
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“I represent a sardine!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

At this point, after reading that line, you might just be wondering if I’ve slipped my leash again…. and, you’d be justified in that thought. However, rest assured, I’m perfectly sane, if somewhat metaphorically, so it’s all good, right? Right…..

Now, such a bald statement from our old pal is liable to make one think at first that he is either kidding (not bloody likely….), or he is currently having hallucinatory delusions of being a seafood lawyer, or fish solicitor, as my British friends would say. While both of those are possible scenarios, similar in nature to Zippy’s previous episodes of verbal gymnastics, neither is correct in this instance, as I happen to know that he is teaching a lesson in metaphorical manipulation, or, as it is commonly known, lying his ass off, to keep you preoccupied while he is doing something else he doesn’t want you to see, or know about…. He’s tricky that way….

I suppose he might be trying to tell us he is a theatrical/literary agent of some sort, and has a sardine who a) has written the next best seller, entitled “The Truth About Tuna”, an exposé of the fishing industry, b) has a voice like Pavarotti, c) juggles three seahorses while riding a motorized wheelchair, or d) paints incredibly lifelike pictures of cruise ships, from an underwater view…. He might, if that is what he meant, but, it isn’t…. It is all just a distraction, a hullabaloo to draw your attention away from his real purpose, which has to do with several cases of motor oil, a rag-time band, two Senators, and a motel out on Route 666….. You really don’t want to know, now, do you?

No, really, ffolkes, I had a reason to show Zippy’s little gem off today, and it was really a good one…. So, it’s really too bad that, by the time I finished with the second paragraph above, I completely lost track of whatever it was I had to say about it….. That, of course, is embarrassing, but not as much as having to turn tail, right in the middle of a pearl, or what SHOULD have been a pearl, and go old school, just to save my ass from complete well, asininity (what else?….)….

So, here is what Smart Bee came up with, and taken together, the pearls all DO have a point…. just don’t ask me what it is, because even if I knew, I don’t think I can be trusted today to say it correctly, or even interpret it accurately…. So, you’re kind of on your own…. Don’t worry, they’re all safe, just pointed a little….Enjoy!….

“Look under enough rocks and you’ll find _something_ slimy” — Smart Bee

“And gentle Dulness ever loves a joke.” — Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — The Dunciad, Book ii, Line 34

“Don’t edit reality for the sake of simplicity.” — Smart Bee

“No people do so much harm as those who go about doing good.” — Mandell Creighton (1843-1901)

“A thief believes everybody steals.” — E.W. Howe

“I have a feeling that at any time about three million Americans can be had for any militant reaction against law, decency, the Constitution, the Supreme Court, compassion and the rule of reason.” — John Kenneth Galbraith

“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.” — George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

Well, there you have it, such as it is…. Ta then, luvs…..
__________________________________

I’m a bit hesitant to go back over this, but, here goes….. Well…. I seem to have been determined to keep things light today; it’s all covered with a thin coating of insane hilarity, that never quite breaks through into genuine hysteria, but indubitably hovers on the edge of falling over into pathetic silliness. I guess I had to shrug off the heaviness picked up over the last couple of days of processing stress….. Ain’t Life Grand!…..

If nothing else, it might provide y’all with a smile or two, or maybe even a chuckle…. I don’t think you need to worry, though…. I didn’t see anything that should make you blow milk or tea out through your nose from guffawing…. We always have a medical professional on call; they can be here in mere seconds, so no worries, mates…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Rapid fluctuation in the power grid….

Posted on January 29, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
At the age I’ve reached, one of the best lessons I learned, long ago, is/was the value of routine. Developing a routine of efficient activities to organize the start of the day is one of the most important tools one can find and use in the work-a-day world. It allows one to get to work on time, with everything in hand that is necessary to the day, and with mind and body prepared for the tasks ahead, without undue stress or worry. When this routine is disrupted, it can affect the tenor of the rest of the day, like ripples in a pond, or a mathematical error that grows bigger with each new computation….

I’m starting to believe that even Murphy is not immune to the power of schedules and routines. When I was younger, and still going to work daily, if I observed the details of my routine, he seemed to stand back and not bother with me, waiting for other times to step in with his decidedly infantile sense of humor. If he was very, very clever, he sometimes could affect a small part of the routine, and cause a bit of uproar, but generally, I’d get so focused on carrying it out that he couldn’t get me to pay any attention to him, so he’d go off to find someone more vulnerable….. All of which means that there is a power to the act of routine behaviors, carried out time after time until they are ingrained, a power that resists the oppositional power of chaos that Murphy so adeptly subjects us to whenever he can….

What does this mean, in a philosophical, cosmic sense? Well, not much, I’d guess…. Actually, all of the above is pretty much just a type of mental diarrhea, which, though descriptive (perhaps too much so….), is not an image I particularly wish to saddle y’all with so early in the day. Of course, by the time you read this, it won’t be so early, either, a consideration that only adds to the absolute uselessness of the entire discussion…..

Yeah, we’ve got our routines, and they help keep entropy under control, but, so what? It doesn’t mean diddly in the large picture, and really isn’t particularly gripping as a subject for discussion, here, or anywhere….. But, it was sort of like that hive of bees that lives in my head…. there they were, and what else was I going to do with them, except share them with y’all?…. Exactly……

SIGH…. one of these days, I’m going to write a generic introductory section, and just use it as a template, the same every day… Then I wouldn’t be trying to come up with something every day to pull folks in and grab their interest….. Even my nearly unlimited store of nonsense and sheer flights of fantasy are getting a bit sparse, and ranting in the intro just seems like overkill. Maybe I’ll start ranting about myself…… I’ll have to do something soon, as I’m stretching my imagination to its limits, and beyond, to come up with these on a daily basis….

Most likely, however, I’ll just ignore the issue again, and keep on keepin’ on, as long as it works…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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In difficult ground, press on;
In encircled ground, devise stratagems;
In death ground, fight.

— Sun Tzu, The Art of War (circa 400 B.C.)

The Art of War is still considered by military experts to be one of the definitive books on warfare and strategy, after more than 2000 years. I’m not certain, but would certainly be surprised if it is not still used as a reference at West Point, Annapolis, The Citadel, and the Air Force Academy in classes on tactics and strategy in battle, and in peace time. In the book, which is actually quite short, Sun Tzu gives the basic tenets for success in war, and was so perfectly correct and complete, that it remains valid today, even though the landscape of war has grown much larger, and more complex. The issues that can decide victory or defeat remain the same……

One of the most surprising features of the book is the idea that Sun Tzu presents regarding the perfect warrior. In his mind, warriors came in a number of types, each of which required a different method of leadership. The surprise lies in his choice of the type of warrior that he considers to be the most valuable; oddly enough, at least, on the surface, he chose… the Spy…..

Not the weapons master, not the brilliant tactician, not the engineer… the spy. According to Sun Tzu, a properly trained and experienced agent provocateur was, by far, the most valuable type of warrior, for, with the proper application of truth and lies, and the correct timing, battles might be won without loss of life or property, or with a minimum of effort, due to the efforts before the battle by the spy. This choice indicates that Sun Tzu recognized the true battle that is waging at all times when people interact with each other…. the battle between truth and lies…..

We see this battle raging in our own society every day, as the politicians vie with each other to see which one can get the furthest from the truth and still convince people they aren’t full of shit. When we have priests telling us that we aren’t the masters of our own bodies or minds, expecting us to not even ask why, we are witnessing the constant struggle for control of our minds… and our pocketbooks…. Control of the former, of course, will always lead to control of the latter, and you can bet your booties that it is the pocketbooks that the preachers and politicians are concerned with, not just our minds, or our souls….. You betcha, compadre…

She was a wight, if ever such wight were,–
Des. To do what?
Iago. To suckle fools and chronicle small beer.
Des. O most lame and impotent conclusion!

— William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Othello — Act ii, Sc. 1

Normally, or as close as we get to normally, I wouldn’t use a Shakespeare quote, and this one shows why very well… I can’t for the life of me figure out what the hell any of it means, but the last line struck home for this discussion… Before what I am saying reaches the point where the last line might apply, I will refer you to the book itself….. The Art of War, by Sun Tzu; copies of it are available at any bookstore, and probably online in a number of places.

It is a fairly quick read, (though there are points that do require some thought and pondering), being less than a hundred pages in most of the versions I’ve seen. As I said above, it’s pretty simply written, but covers all that is needed to get his point across, which has to do with winning, not just at war, but in life. As with many things in Chinese culture, there is more to the subject than may be apparent on first view, and it is worth the time to look more deeply into what Sun Tzu has told us….

But war ‘s a game which were their subjects wise
Kings would not play at.

— William Cowper (1731-1800) — The Task, Book v, The Winter Morning Walk, Line 187
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Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer

This is a song to celebrate banks,
Because they are full of money and you go into them and all you hear is clinks and clanks,
Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hills,
Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar bills.
Most bankers dwell in marble halls,
Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals,
And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,
Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don’t need it.
I know you, you cautious conservative banks!
If people are worried about their rent it is your duty to deny them the loan of one nickel,
yes, even one copper engraving of the martyred son of the late Nancy Hanks;
Yes, if they request fifty dollars to pay for a baby you must
look at them like Tarzan looking at an uppity ape in the jungle,
And tell them what do they think a bank is, anyhow, they had better go get the money from their wife’s aunt or ungle.
But suppose people come in and they have a million and they want another million to pile on top of it,
Why, you brim with the milk of human kindness and you urge them to accept every drop of it,
And you lend them the million so then they have two million
and this gives them the idea that they would be better off with four,
So they already have two million as security so you have no hesitation in lending them two more,
And all the vice-presidents nod their heads in rhythm,
And the only question asked is do the borrowers want the money sent or do they want to take it withm.
Because I think they deserve our appreciation and thanks,
the jackasses who go around saying that health and happiness are everything and money isn’t essential,
Because as soon as they have to borrow some unimportant money to maintain their health and happiness they starve
to death so they can’t go around any more sneering at good old money, which is nothing short of providential.

Ogden Nash
__________________________________

Delusional material, very dangerous…. Read carefully…

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I may learn humbly to obey.

I asked God for health, that I may do greater things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I may be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing I asked for but everything I hoped for.
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

— unattributed, even by Smart Bee
(I don’t blame them for not wanting to take credit for this….)

From the time we are small, our minds are programmed with the ideas and beliefs our parents and families held as truth, regardless of whether or not there is any actual truth to be found in them. We have little, or no, defense against these ideas, as we are naturally inclined to believe what our care givers tell us.

While I can understand the way it works, it seems to me to be a shame, that we don’t come with a built in truth detector, to protect us before we are able to reason for ourselves. Until our minds have been trained, we tend to accept whatever someone in a position of authority tells us, which may keep us safe in a physical sense when we are small and vulnerable, but is a dangerous habit to develop when grown.

The above is an example of how churches and the priestly hierarchies attempt to befuddle people into obedience and acceptance of their credos, aimed at those adults who have carried over their trust in authority into their adult views. On the surface, the statements seem to imply a certain morality, one of patience, compassion, and beneficence; but, underneath, they are merely designed to reinforce the ideas they wish to espouse, of obedience, humility, and subservience to authority.

If one is to believe the priestly hierarchies, we humans don’t really stand a chance against the universe…. In their minds, God has it all worked out, and it isn’t our place to question any of His prerogatives; we are here only to do His (translates as: their….) will, and to sing His praises (keeps us busy NOT thinking….). We are weak, bumbling, foolish creatures whose only claim to fame is that God loves us… according to dogma. It occurs to me to ask, “So, which one of y’all is the one to whom God spoke, when he laid down all this specious crap? When y’all talked with God, how long had it been since you last took your medication?”

I know, I know, not very friendly approach, but, sheesh, give me a break…. I mean, these people are responsible for a great deal of the suffering and trouble mankind has endured over the last 2000 years or so, and don’t even have the courtesy to take credit, or apologize. In their minds, all that stuff they do to maintain their status quo is justified by their holiness, or whatever it is they claim makes them special. And, all the time, in reality, everything they do is designed, ultimately, to bring coins to their purses, and food to their tables, at the expense of the ignorant mass of believers…..

I feel a nasty rant coming on…. Sometimes, when I write one of these rips at religion, I just get SO ANGRY…. I’m mad at the preachers and priests, and those who support them, for their willingness to prey on the public, using the pretension of religious fervor and worship to justify their narcissism, and for the thousands of years of suffering that mankind has endured by their hand. I am also angry at those people who buy into their bullshit, for not having the courage to use their minds, to blithely accept anything told to them by an authority figure, and never even considering that there might be more to life than they are seeing….. It is all such a waste, and my anger knows no bounds….

“Civilization is fun! Anyway, it keeps me busy!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Well, it would keep me busy if I could find any….. I had to include this little side-trip from Zippy in order to bring my anger level down. I was feeling the urge to let out ALL of the vulgar curses I could think of, to express how I feel about all the assholes who perpetrate this entire fallacy on the rest of humanity, knowing how gullible they are, and how little effort it takes to fool them into believing the most incredible bullshit.

I mean, how hard can it be to fool someone who would believe that the recent spate of cold weather means that global warming is a myth? How hard is it to fool someone who will gladly trade their freedom in this life for the promised reward in the next life? It’s so damn easy that the fools actually come asking for it, to be made into puppets, just so they can believe they are beloved of God, and guaranteed a spot in Heaven…. I often wonder just how fit to survive our species really is, when we can’t even come to terms with our own sense of self, or learn to accept the responsibility for our own actions….

Most folks are so scared to think for themselves that they gladly surrender that chore to the priests and politicians, apparently not even caring how often they lie to them. Even when the lies are exposed, and even proved, people will hang on to their prejudices, and to the belief in supernatural beings that control our every move; they are quite unwilling to let go of what they’ve bought into all their lives, even when it’s clear that none of it is true. Most of the time, they are unwilling to even look at any arguments against what they hold to be true, preferring the solid comfort of their ignorance. Makes me want to puke, it does…. on THEIR shoes…

Ah well, I’ve spilled enough bile and venom for one morning. It would probably be best to move on, and let this one die a natural death. If nothing else, I got some angst and pressure relieved, for the time being. It is almost a comfort to know that the politicians and preachers will be providing more ammunition in the coming days, as they continue their campaign of oppression against the people of the Earth; that means I’ll always have plenty about which to rant…. Happy Days!….

“Those who won’t think will have it done for them.” — Smart Bee
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Okay, so I went a bit overboard today…. I got a little carried away there, firing away at the preachers, and lost track. So sue me… wait, that’s probably not a good thing to say these days….. You never know when one of the folks at whom I’m poking will take overt offense, and try to make trouble of a legal nature… Good thing I am careful never to name names, or imply any specific targets, beyond those identifiable by their very ubiquitousness. Since I figure they deserve all the abuse they get, in payment for all they’ve abused mankind over the centuries, they’re just going to have to deal with it…. I could care less….. 🙂

There, all venom and bile has been expelled from my head, and I can now go face the day with a relatively stable sense of equanimity. It’s got to be better than any of the alternatives, I’d say…. I guess I’m done….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Small piles of duvets sat in a corner…..

Posted on January 14, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Coffee is on the way, so I won’t have to shoot anybody before it is ready. Or even because it isn’t ready…. I hate cleaning up dead bodies before breakfast…. So tacky….. Not that I’ve ever had to kill anyone yet, not over coffee. (No, not over anything…. I’m a virgin in that respect, thankfully….) It’s always a fun thing to think about though, especially when one is still waiting for that first glorious sip to bring the universe into focus. I don’t CARE if it is addictive, or bad for me, or whatever; NOTHING is like that first sip of coffee in the AM, nothing….. It would take someone with some serious martial arts skills, or a large weapon drawn first, to keep me from that first cuppa in the morning….. and, they would lose, due to my superior motivation….

Ahhh….. Now that the first sip is down the hatch, all is well with the world, for the moment, at least, and we can get on with the day’s business. It’s kind of fun, actually, as I’m falling back into the routine I developed previous to moving here, wherein the Pearl is the focus of my day, rather than the trip to post it being the primary subject of attention. I’m up at a decent hour (0610), and already into the intro, coffee in hand, by 0624, just bursting with ideas and plans for pearls. Of course, I know that once I try to pin down a solitary idea to use, it will slither away, pretending to hide, just because they all work for Murphy….

I’ll bet you didn’t know that…. that all your best ideas are from Murphy, who keeps a workshop for that, to develop ideas that he can use to torture authors with…. You can tell which are his…. They catch your attention, as a brilliant idea, then sort of fade off into the background, avoiding any close examination…. a technique Murphy taught them to further frustrate the author, as he or she chases down an idea that keeps moving away….. Then, when caught, at last, one sees the idea isn’t as shiny as it seemed, but rather is a buffed up re-run of an old idea….. He is SUCH an asshole……

I only know this because he, Murphy, spends so much time messing with me, I’ve learned a lot of his secrets…. I can’t block, or fix, or even prevent any of his activities but, I know for sure when he’s been around, fucking with someone, ’cause it’s usually me….. I’m just lucky, I guess…..

Now, I could spend more time lamenting Murphy’s kind attentions, or I could find something else more Intro-appropriate for this space. Or, we could get on with it, and go find some pearls to write about….. which is, no doubt, the most intelligent thing to do. Though such are not our general course of choice, we’ll go with that, if only to provide some comic relief, right?….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Make the most of the Indian hemp seed, and sow it everywhere” — George Washington

Wouldn’t it be grand if everyone felt this way? George wasn’t the only advocate of hemp amongst the founding fathers; I’ve seen others who wrote in praise of its qualities, though I didn’t save the references. I’m sure that the plant they found in use among the Indians back then during the colonial days was being utilized in a number of ways, as it has some very useful qualities, aside from the mind-altering characteristics in the chemical make-up of the plant.

It makes the finest rope possible. (Western civilization was built with rope…. literally…..) It can be used to make paper, clothing of all kinds, including shoes, and hats, string, food items, and a host of other things that are useful as tools or household items. It has medicinal qualities that even modern medical science cannot dispute, all of which are beneficial to people; it has no toxic qualities, and cannot be overused…. Well, one could fall asleep and dream very colorfully if one consumed a LARGE amount of cannabis, or of the THC ( tetrahydracannabinol ) component responsible for the mind altering effects, but over-dosing to the point of physical harm is, as far as can be determined, impossible…..

Now, society will tell you, and provide what they call convincing evidence, of the bad effects that using marijuana can have on the human mind. And, if used improperly, at the wrong time of life, there CAN be some slight problems encountered with long-term use. But, these issues are easily avoided, and easily overcome, given the proper treatment, and the overall harmless nature of the plant is not compromised by such evidence, as it does not allow for alternative patterns of use that are NOT harmful, but concentrates only on the ONE way to use it that is less than helpful to the organism. In other words, yes, you can find a way to harm yourself, but a small application of common sense will fix the issue, and it need not ever become a problematic issue thereafter…..

No, what makes marijuana a social problem is Society’s reaction to it, not the drug itself. The reaction by those who do not understand its benefits is extreme, to say the least. The common reaction is to totally reject all evidence that shows the drug to be relatively harmless, and to focus on only the issues involved that show it as bad; denial is a common tool to those in charge of our culture. Hell, if the BRC didn’t wear blinders all the time, they wouldn’t get ANYTHING done, as they’d be cringing and cowering in fear of everything that happened around them. If our rulers were not allowed the use of denial, they wouldn’t have anything at all to say…. think about it….

We are told, by those who make such pronouncements, that using marijuana regularly will reduce one’s cognitive abilities, turning them into clones of the character played by Sean Penn in the old movie cult classic, “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, and similar to the character portrayed by George Carlin, Al Sleet, The Hippy-Dippy Weatherman….. And, if used as I described above, at the wrong time, by the wrong person, under the wrong circumstances, that can happen. But, from personal observation over 50 years now, I can attest that regular use does NOT have to affect cognition, nor does it necessarily turn one into a muddled, foolish caricature…. I’ve known too many ffolkes personally who use it on a daily basis, and there is no lasting negative effect on their intelligence, or their ability to think…. other than a slight difficulty making up their mind when confronted with more than one choice of food items…. 🙂

SIGH…. I could offer even more compelling evidence, but that would entail revealing information that might conceivably turn on me, so it will have to suffice to say that I speak from personal knowledge of these events, having closely observed them, from the inside of the culture, for many years. That long period observation and information gathering has led to my understanding of the issue, an understanding much more complete than any on the other side of the fence, as they do not allow for any of the evidence I can present, whereas I can account for ALL of what they can bring forth.

It has always seemed obvious to me that the arguments presented against marijuana all tend to use the same, outdated information, collected with prejudice by those who already denied any value to the substance, and will deny, deny, deny, any and all new evidence, or any evidence that seems to contradict that old nonsense. Typical, actually, of the tactics used by the BRC (Beloved Ruling Class) to deal with ANY issue…. denial is their default position on any concept that is potentially negative to their chosen beliefs…. If denial doesn’t work, they generally resort to name-calling, of some sort….

It seems as if I could keep on this rant for some time; it is one I’ve not really explored deeply in past pearls. A matter of self-protection, as it were; it’s not an issue I want a lot of attention focused on in my life, as most folks fail to grasp any of the important aspects of the issue, and tend to get emotionally involved in any discussion of same. Many, many people react to things they don’t understand with vehemence that is entirely misplaced, due to the lies and misinformation they have received for most of their lives from the BRC and priestly hierarchies. So, it has always been a policy with me to not encourage forays into the subject, as it tends to become relatively fruitless in a short time. In other words, why beat my head against a brick wall, when I can just walk around it?…. Or, float around it, as the case may be….. you decide…. for you. I’ll decide for me….

“Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard — I’m living for today!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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Tableau at Twilight

I sit in the dusk. I am all alone.
Enter a child and an ice-cream cone.

A parent is easily beguiled
By sight of this coniferous child.

The friendly embers warmer gleam,
The cone begins to drip ice cream.

Cones are composed of many a vitamin.
My lap is not the place to bitamin.

Although my raiment is not chinchilla,
I flinch to see it become vanilla.

Coniferous child, when vanilla melts
I’d rather it melted somewhere else.

Exit child with remains of cone.
I sit in the dusk. I am all alone,

Muttering spells like an angry Druid,
Alone, in the dusk, with the cleaning fluid.

Ogden Nash
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But thinks, admitted to that equal sky,
His faithful dog shall bear him company.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Man, Epistle i, Line 111

Here is a line from Mr. Pope that raises a question whose answer is one I’m unsure of, and will need to ask someone who is more educated in dogma than me. I don’t know the answer to whether or not dogs go to heaven, according to Christian beliefs. It does strike me as a pretty good way to determine just how dogmatic a person is, to see how they answer the question (and yes, I see the irony of that…. dogma about dogs…. I get it…. I was trying to ignore it….). It seems to me that the answer they give would be a pretty clear indicator of how tolerant they are toward other species, and would tell one if they are worth knowing at all…. Someone who thinks that dogs shouldn’t be in heaven would definitely be the kind of person I would avoid, as they just don’t have the kind of outlook I can tolerate for long, without having to say something to them about it…..

In my less than humble opinion, any God, or god, who didn’t allow dogs into heaven, wouldn’t be worthy of the title of their supposed divinity. To imagine that humans are superior to dogs, in ANY way that matters, is to completely deny reality, and any philosophy that doesn’t account for that principle is one doomed to unreality, to my mind. Dogs, in so many ways, are superior to Man, in ethics, in morals, in instinctive rightness of spirit, and prove that every day. Man, too, proves his own inferiority the same way, as he torments, abuses, and kills these wonderful creatures, for sport, for cruelty, and just because they can….

I’ll take a dog over a man, any day, in almost any situation you can name, and will know for certain that the choice is one I won’t regret. Sure, you can find dogs who are mean, and vicious, to almost all who come close; those dogs have had their nature perverted, and were taught the behaviors they display. None of those kinds of behaviors are natural to dogs; they have to be taught to be bad. Their only purpose in life is to please us, and that simple characteristic is what makes them better than us, for we, as a species, have to force ourselves to act morally, to choose deliberately to forgo our impulses, and act rightly. For dogs, it comes naturally, and can only be perverted with effort…. or with ignorance….

I’m not going to carry this on further; a four paragraph rant about dogs versus humans is about right, I think, to cover the subject without going into depth. I’m of the firm opinion that dogs are far more deserving of entrance to heaven than any human would be, given the rules by which entrance is supposed to occur. So, if they AREN’T allowed there, why on Earth would I want to end up there? I can’t think of a single reason…..

“This is what I do for fun, can you imagine my job?” — Smart Bee
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I’m still liking it…. though I’m not yet used to it. I’m done with the Pearl for today, and I just realized, I can go email and post it online as soon as I wish. I don’t have to shower, get dressed, and go to the coffee shop or library. Another fine way to show that sometimes, it is what we DON’T have to do that is just as important as what we do have to do. Or, at the least, it is much more enjoyable to NOT have to do something…. ah, shoot, you get the idea…. I’ll quit belaboring the point now, and bid thee a fond adieu….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Some crumbled eggshells will help clarify it….

Posted on December 27, 2012 by gigoid

Portions of today’s Pearl were written beginning on 12/24/12, with contributions made each day thereafter. Hence the somewhat confused style of address, in terms of the relative time, and the time of writing….. I know, the explanation is just as confusing as the act….. but, it is required by law, so what are ya gonna do?….. Buena suerte, as they say in Mexico…..

Ffolkes,
Okay, I am thoroughly confused, but, hey, nothing new there…. I am writing now in complete limbo, in terms of knowing precisely where in the universe I am, relative to time and, consequently, space. I see that the date is correct…. it IS the 25th of December today, and I have two Pearls almost finished, ready to post as soon as they have a poem inserted into the second section, and I complete the third section of the second Pearl. While the rest of the world is busy with the commercial crap of which today is the culmination, I’ll be here, busily ignoring the whole thing, as I have no means to participate in the commercial frenzy at all. And, since I spend a great deal of time dissecting the Christian religion for its inherent inconsistencies, and aspects of covert manipulation for self-interest, it would probably be a bit hypocritical, anyway, for me to get too involved in it.

I do enjoy the positive emotional spirit that seems to come with the season, but the whole idea is pretty sick, given its origin. Are they celebrating the birth of Jesus (which was actually sometime in the spring, from what historical records can tell us….), or the gruesome death to which he was put (which took place in March, or thereabouts….)?

Either way, I don’t see how it all translates into a commercial frenzy over the giving of gifts, other than as an obvious ploy to garner more money from an unsuspecting public, to line the pockets of the clergy and bankers. In that sense, I KNOW why all the bankers are smiling this time of year….. and it isn’t because they’re filled with the spirit of Christmas, or the urge to give…..

Christmas has, by the efforts of the bankers, with the complete cooperation of the clergy, become a societal frenzy of marketing and consumerism at its worst; the sheer ugliness of the whole idea makes the urge to say “Bah, humbug!” completely understandable. To take the work and honorable acts of a true reformer and twist it to suit the agenda of the business class is just that…. UGLY!

Not only is it ugly due to the efforts of the clergy and bankers to turn it into a carnival rather than a holy ceremony, but, the general populace falls right into the act, buying and spending much more than they can afford, just to keep up appearances, never once considering how hypocritical it is, or how far from the teachings of Christ it wanders to spend money in his name…..

Ah well, such is the perversity of mankind…. All I can do is avoid the whole scenario as much as possible, and just get through the day without getting depressed at all the futility….. That task, not getting depressed, is currently Job One around here, as the state department of Social Services continues to drag out my disability claim just as far as it can, and I’m getting very tired of living in poverty, watching as the assholes in the government take serious shots at my retirement system.

I cannot accurately tell you how angry I am at Obama, and any other of the politicians who are trying to make cuts to Social Security…. I’ve been pumping money into that system for almost fifty years, and now that I need it, they’re trying to take it away…. If there was ever a reason to get angry, this is it, and they had best watch their step, or I may loosen my hold on my self-control, and allow my darker side to determine what I’ll do…. Whatever that action might entail, it is guaranteed to be unpalatable to anyone who is involved in the attacks on MY retirement…..

Well, having mini-ranted to a sufficient degree, I think I’d best move on to another section. I’m a bit discombobulated, as I’ve already indicated, so the actual writing process today is sort of hit and miss. But, a dive into the database should clear things up, and if nothing else, will give me a chance to clear my head, after having filled it with angst against the machine….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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The following piece has been around for a long time, and garnered a lot of different opinions regarding its content, and overall validity as an important set of ideas. Some say it is too soft and sentimental, accusing the author of looking at life through rose colored glasses, as it were. And, in one sense they are correct. Being a no-longer in the closet romantic, I choose to believe there is nothing wrong in that, or to think that such sentimentality has no place in a discussion of reality. The world is hard enough, without our feeling the need to make that characteristic immutable by adding our own hardness; a bit of sentimentality is welcome, if it doesn’t include refusing to accept the demanding nature of real life…..

I first came across the Desiderata when I was in college, and, having never seen it before, was suitably impressed. I’ve been re-introduced to it many times over the years, and always find something I’ve forgotten, as there are many lessons herein, lessons that life itself teaches us in its own way, and it is good to hear reminders of what we may already know, but often forget. All of these statements are good advice, and I can personally attest to the fact that, if followed with honesty, these principles allow one to live with dignity and honor….. If you feel it’s a bit sappy for your taste, well, that’s okay, just skip on by, and go on wallowing in grumpiness…… not a thing wrong with that….. 🙂

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

— Max Ehrman (1872-1945) – “Desiderata” (1927)
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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

So Does Everybody Else, Only Not So Much

O all ye exorcizers come and exorcize now, and ye clergymen draw nigh and clerge, For I wish to be purged of an urge. It is an irksome urge, compounded of nettles and glue, And it is turning all my friends back into acquaintances, and all my acquaintances into people who look the other way when I heave into view. It is an indication that my mental buttery is butterless and my mental larder lardless, And it consists not of “Stop me if you’ve heard this one,” but of “I know you’ve heard this one because I told it to you myself, but I’m going to tell it to you again regardless,” Yes I fear I am living beyond my mental means. When I realize that it is not only anecdotes that I reiterate but what is far worse, summaries of radio programs and descriptions of cartoons in newspapers and magazines. I want to resist but I cannot resist recounting the bright sayings of celebrities that everybody already is familiar with every word of; I want to refrain but cannot refrain from telling the same audience on two successive evenings the same little snatches of domestic gossip about people I used to know that they have never heard of. When I remember some titillating episode of my childhood I figure that if it’s worth narrating once it’s worth narrating twice, in spite of lackluster eyes and dropping jaws, And indeed I have now worked my way backward from titillating episodes in my own childhood to titillating episodes in the childhood of my parents or even my parents-in-laws, And what really turns my corpuscles to ice, I carry around clippings and read them to people twice. And I know what I am doing while I am doing it and I don’t want to do it but I can’t help doing it and I am just another Ancient Mariner, And the prospects for my future social life couldn’t possibly be barrener. Did I tell you that the prospects for my future social life couldn’t be barrener?

Ogden Nash
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“Become what you are.” — Buddha

When we are born, we are exactly who and what we are, because we don’t know how to be anything else. As we grow, we learn to interact with the world around us, learning first how to communicate our wants and needs, later applying this knowledge to further our interests in dealing with others on a social level. Communication, part perception and part expression, teaches us to add layers to our persona, incrementally increasing our isolation from our true self, unless we can maintain the awareness of self carried since birth. That self is constantly under attack by the outer world, as we are molded and manipulated by the demands made on us by our environment for conformity to custom. In this short, powerful phrase, Buddha once again identifies our most central task as humans, to be true to one’s inner nature.

“Man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is.” — Albert Camus

Albert touches here on the basic root problem for a great many humans, as the refusal to which he refers causes men to make choices based on self-interest rather than taking a wider world-view. Choosing expediency over altruism always, of course, leads to acting immorally, which describes the general demeanor of the beloved ruling class pretty accurately, all in all, doesn’t it? Sometimes, I wonder why they even bother to lie anymore, as it doesn’t seem to matter much to most folks whether they do or not; they get away with it either way…..

“An assertion produces a stronger effect than an argument, at least among the majority of mankind. That is why public speakers seek to hammer home their party’s arguments with assertions.” — F. Nietzsche, _Human, All too Human_

This tendency on the part of man, to be gullible (What else can you call it, when someone is swayed in favor of one argument over another, simply due to its connection to a confident assertion?….. I call it gullible….), would, I suppose, explain the phenomenon of the repeated success of the beloved ruling class in lying to the public without significant consequence. Another apt description would somehow describe mental laziness, or unwillingness to exercise one’s ability to reason, in favor of passive acquiescence with another’s ideas, for that is what I see most often among the ignorant masses. The same majority of mankind, of whom Nietzsche speaks, possesses this personal characteristic, as an augmentation of the tendency he mentions, to accept assertion as provenance.

“I have seen these EGG EXTENDERS in my Supermarket…. I have read the INSTRUCTIONS….” — Zippy the Pinhead

WHAT, you may ask, does THAT have to do with Buddha, Camus, or Nietzsche, in a high-brow discussion of human nature, and its flaws? Well, to be honest, I am not entirely sure what my sub-, or un-, conscious mind was doing when it made me copy and paste that here….. but, I have a strange feeling that it is the right pearl… Let me think a moment, or perhaps overnight….

Aha! Got it!….. We know already that everything Zippy says is a powerful metaphor for reality, so the phrase, “Assertion as provenance”, is Zippy-speak for EGG EXTENDERS! Wait, that’s backwards…. EGG EXTENDERS is Zippy-speak for “Assertion, etc….” Since he has read the instructions, which came, no doubt, with a perfect assertion of its superior nature over eggs, he is therefore immune to the immorality that is so prevalent in our erstwhile superiors…. There, how’s that for some slippery slope thinking, under pressure? Pretty slick, I’d say….

So, the next time some politician makes a confident assertion in a speech, think of Zippy, and the egg extenders, and you’ll be reminded to take what is being said with a shit load of salt….. It’s a handy little item to have in one’s mental files, for those occasions when we can’t avoid listening to such stuff (there’s that word again….)…..

“…and I get on my knees and pray, we don’t get fooled again.” — Pete Townshend
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“A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again, (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal – Panama!” — Guy L. Steele.

The above is included only because it is the longest palindrome I’ve ever seen, and as such, deserves a bit of admiration for the sheer stubbornness it took to figure it out, and complete it, before someone found out, and made Mr. Steele go do something more constructive….. Fascinating, as Spock might say…. In retrospect, the palindrome is just odd enough to fit in with the rest of today’s effort, so…. it stays…..

Well, it’s done, and that is the best I can say for it, I think. I’m still pretty confused, but tomorrow will re-assert control over the process. What that entails is somewhat gross, in spots, so I will spare the Gentle Reader any further exposure to the necessary actions, and just go on as if none of it had ever happened. People are good at that sort of pretending, as is obvious after every election…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Pertaining solely to sincere offers….

Posted on December 9, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
I’ve changed my mind, though there was nothing particularly wrong with the one I had. No, I’ve reached a limit I thought, and hoped, I’d never reach, and it has moved me to change plans for when Social Security gets done fussing about, and awards my benefits. Now, instead of taking the first bit of money I get to travel, I’m buying a gun…. and, since there is little purpose in owning one if not to use it, I’m going hunting as soon as I have it in hand…..

What will I be hunting, you ask? Easy….. bureaucrats, politicians, preachers, or rednecks, whichever pops up in the scope first. Any one of those four groups, as I define them, would furnish me with an ample number of targets, any of whom deserve to die…. They actually deserve slow, agonizing deaths, but I’ll settle for blasting them into oblivion quickly, if it means I get to watch, and to pull the trigger…. The emotional release will be ecstatic, and so will the knowledge that the world is a safer place for the good ffolkes who are not party to, but are subjected to, their vicious games of manipulation and power-grabbing….

I know, you’re probably wondering why I’m so pissed off this morning…. I’m not sure, exactly, but it may have something to do with having to officially decide yesterday to give up on Christmas, again, for the third straight year. It’s not that my kids will care, they’re adults now, and will understand, but it is truly a hard thing, emotionally, to accept not being able to even think about buying gifts for others, merely because I have to keep the money available to buy food to eat in the last week of the month. All because the assholes who run the system have set it up to harass and annoy people rather than help them….

Now I’ve torn it….. I’m now just about as angry and upset as I can possibly be, and it is a very good thing that I don’t already own a gun, or I’d be out using it now. Every time I turn around, I’m bumping up against another piece of poverty, and am reminded that my situation is one that only time can fix, that I’m trapped into waiting for the bureaucrats to act. In fact, I’m so ripped right now, I’m going to have to take a short break, to pull it together enough to be able to type….. I’ll be back, as Arnie said to such good effect (maybe his only good line, ever….)….

“Humor is the best antidote to reality.” — Smart Bee

Okay, the homicidal urges have passed, for now…. Damn this emotionalism, anyway! Frigging PTSD is really a pain at times…. think about the past… pain and joy in turn, break into tears. Think about the future…. fun, but unproductive, break into tears. Think about the present, same-same. My tear ducts are getting raw and wrinkled from passing so much salty water, and I’m quite sure I can do without the assault of fluids on my sinuses every time my subconscious decides it wants to grieve again. Ah well, I’m now going to apply the most severe form of distraction I can, and then try to write about something else…. I’ll let you know if it works…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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So, my brain is being uncooperative today, so much so that it has caused me to pick pearls that fade on me…. that is, after a single paragraph, I’m stuck for anything more to say about the subject, at least anything in my usual vein of sardonicism and humorous approbation and examination. (What does that MEAN?….) Any who, I’m going to use some mental judo, and use its own weight against it… so here are two very short pearls, to make one decent sized pearl to start this now staggeringly disorganized process….

“Don’t Panic.” — The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

I’m not really sure why I chose to use this today. It is, of course, very good advice, applicable to virtually every situation of which one can conceive in a rational state of mind. Or, I suppose, in an irrational state…. Panic, while useful as a motivational factor, or perhaps more accurately, as fuel for the energy to act, most often dims our bulb. That is to say, it drastically reduces our overall ability to think, channeling the mind into those patterns of thought that can lead to precipitous actions, of the type which can be highly dangerous to our health and welfare, as they so often act without attention to details, such as a tall cliff directly in the path we choose to run from a wild animal…. So, while it may be useful in increasing one’s speed and strength for short periods, one must not fall prey to its effect on the mind, which is generally counter-productive in achieving the ultimate goal, of survival….
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“If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?” — Smart Alec Bee

Actually, in re: attribution for this piece of brilliance, the nod may have to go to George Carlin…. If this isn’t his, then it should be, as it sounds just like something that would have occurred to him naturally.

What interests me in this little bit of humorous cruelty is the mere fact of its existence, regardless of its author’s identity. When one factors in that most people, if asked this question with a serious face, would stop to consider the question seriously, it becomes even more humorous, and more cruel. Not that anyone is going to lose any sleep over making a cruel joke about either lawyers or IRS agents; in our society, they hold the distinct title of most hated professions available to anyone…. and with good cause, whether it annoys them to hear it or not……
————————–

I’m not sure if it was obvious, or not, but the above is an attempt to regain some control over this process today; it got away from me quite early, and I’m not certain what is going to work to get it back on track…. I hope this doesn’t mean I’ll have to drag a poem out of my head; it HURTS! Ah well, if I must, I must…. but let us first trust to Smart Bee to furnish me with at least one good pearl to turn into something worthwhile, and I’ll be happy…. or at least content….. Onward……

“Each man can interpret another’s experience only by his own.” — Thoreau
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The Tale of Custard The Dragon

Belinda lived in a little white house,
With a little black kitten and a little gray mouse,
And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,
And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,
And the little gray mouse, she called her Blink,
And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,
But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.

Custard the dragon had big sharp teeth,
And spikes on top of him and scales underneath,
Mouth like a fireplace, chimney for a nose,
And realio, trulio, daggers on his toes.

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Belinda tickled him, she tickled him unmerciful,
Ink, Blink and Mustard, they rudely called him Percival,
They all sat laughing in the little red wagon
At the realio, trulio, cowardly dragon.

Belinda giggled till she shook the house,
And Blink said Week!, which is giggling for a mouse,
Ink and Mustard rudely asked his age,
When Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

Suddenly, suddenly they heard a nasty sound,
And Mustard growled, and they all looked around.
Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Belinda,
For there was a pirate, climbing in the winda.

Pistol in his left hand, pistol in his right,
And he held in his teeth a cutlass bright,
His beard was black, one leg was wood;
It was clear that the pirate meant no good.

Belinda paled, and she cried, Help! Help!
But Mustard fled with a terrified yelp,
Ink trickled down to the bottom of the household,
And little mouse Blink strategically mouseholed.

But up jumped Custard, snorting like an engine,
Clashed his tail like irons in a dungeon,
With a clatter and a clank and a jangling squirm
He went at the pirate like a robin at a worm.

The pirate gaped at Belinda’s dragon,
And gulped some grog from his pocket flagon,
He fired two bullets but they didn’t hit,
And Custard gobbled him, every bit.

Belinda embraced him, Mustard licked him,
No one mourned for his pirate victim
Ink and Blink in glee did gyrate
Around the dragon that ate the pyrate.

Belinda still lives in her little white house,
With her little black kitten and her little gray mouse,
And her little yellow dog and her little red wagon,
And her realio, trulio, little pet dragon.

Belinda is as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chase lions down the stairs,
Mustard is as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard keeps crying for a nice safe cage.

Ogden Nash
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“The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind.” — Albert Camus

Albert is right, but is obviously a proponent of saying what he has to say, then stopping. In this case, stopping does not give enough clarity to this idea, which is a central one to a complete and balanced outlook, or, if you will, a balanced mind. It is indeed vulgar, as well as ultimately unproductive, to NEED to be right. What should be more important is to KNOW, or be able to learn to know, what is right…. Only then can a rational decision be made as to the correct action, or non-action to pursue. I think in this particular case, Mr. Camus was telling us something we should all know; he was not telling us all that he knew….

I find this to be true of much of his philosophy, in that it only goes so far before dumping the reader back into a place where they must use their own resources to figure out his exact meaning. I’m not sure if this is deliberate, a method to force people to think, or if it is just his own sense of independence and curmudgeonry that causes him to only share part of what he really understands. I suppose, in its way, it is a very effective technique to encourage others to think, an activity of which I wholeheartedly approve, and is also, I suppose, one of the reasons I’ve always liked his published statements, and use them fairly frequently in pearls, or rather, as pearls….

In my world, the search for Truth is pretty much the backbone of all that I do. Even the mundane activities I perform are in some way in support of that search, or, at least, I’d like to think they are…. because the Truth is very important to me, and how I feel about the world. The use of it for manipulation, or its suppression for the same purpose, infuriates me, and makes me want to carve out of any human I see doing so, that part of their soul that makes them misuse the Truth for their own purposes, or allows them to believe that they have any right to do so…. To me, it is the simplest interpretation of the Golden Rule…. If I expect myself to honor the Truth, then I would expect others to do the same….

Sadly, that is MY belief, and very few of the people in the world who are in positions of power over others have any investment at all in promoting Truth, as it doesn’t suit their self-interest…. The statement that started this discussion is, in fact, one of the best ways to identify those in society who tend to act in their own interests before those of others. The need to BE right implies that one need not necessarily be IN the right; in fact, it is often to their advantage to be wrong, and lie about what is right, twisting facts and circumstance to suit their purpose. If someone insists on being right, you can usually bet they are not being entirely truthful….

“If what the philosophers say be true,–that all men’s actions proceed from one source; that as they assent from a persuasion that a thing is so, and dissent from a persuasion that it is not, and suspend their judgment from a persuasion that it is uncertain,–so likewise they seek a thing from a persuasion that it is for their advantage.” — Epictetus (c. 60 AD) — Discourses, Book i, Chap. xviii

Human nature, and the flaws that are part of that nature, afford an endless opportunity for dissection. It’s really too bad that my mind is not in a place to go any further today….. Oh, sure, I could come up with any number of examples of the kind of deliberate selfishness and cupidity that characterizes that part of our tribe that preys on the rest of us; the news is full of their lies and shenanigans every day.

But, I’m already exhausted by today’s effort to be rational, and since it is Sunday, have decided to give my mind the rest of the day off, and hope that my emotional state can go with the flow…… If not, well, I can always splurge, spend five bucks on whiskey, and sleep really good tonight…. But, that’s just hiding, and it’s indubitably not a good idea to bust the budget so early in the month….

I wish I COULD offer some simple explanation for why people can be such assholes….. but, I can’t. I guess we’ll all just have to deal with them the best we can, each in our own way….. and hope for the best……

“I feel like I’m in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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Once again, I am compelled to look at a Pearl from the standpoint of “well, it’s done, and that’s all I can say about it….” Hmm…. that’s been happening a lot lately; I’ll have to think about that…. tomorrow, during my procrastination hour…… Until tomorrow, then….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

With a fool for a client…

Posted on November 30, 2012 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Life is an adventure, with a new lesson to be learned every day. Here’s a new one about aging that I just figured out…. I’ve spoken of how men need purpose to function with integrity and competence, and how having a purpose gives them the ability, and will, to accomplish whatever tasks are needed to fulfill that purpose. Whatever effort it takes is not to be considered an obstacle, but rather a spur to act….

Well, I have found this to have exceptions as one ages… small, but significant exceptions. If I had a task to perform, it used to be I could go out in any weather to work at it, without ever considering how uncomfortable I might get due to rain, or cold, or mud, or whatever inclemency was happening. I find now, at 62, that a morning of wind and rain is sufficient to cause me to adjust my plans to accommodate my frailty, or at least my lack of will to ignore that frailty….. I need to go shopping for food, but the rain, and having to use the bus system for transport, has me altering my original intent, adjusting the schedule to keep from getting all soaked and miserable….

I don’t feel a bit of guilt, either, which is odd…. I used to hate to have to change my schedule to suit the elements, or even to suit other folks, and doing so added that guilt/angst to my daily emotional stew. This doesn’t seem to bother me at all, which, I suppose, makes me as much of an egotist as anyone else…. but, it is an interesting lesson to learn about myself, and how my attitudes are changing as I get older. Life is strange, is it not?….

“If you want to have a long life, you must give up all those things that would make a long life interesting and fun.” — Smart Bee

What with the change in schedule, my head is now completely disoriented, so I should be ready to start writing….. funny how that works, eh? The fear of some mere raindrops is enough to stir me up sufficiently to get the old neurons flashing at each other, as my head wraps itself around the concept of staying warm and dry, as opposed to wet and cold, and shivers in relief…… Since I now have at least an hour before the next bus, I will try to re-assume some semblance of efficiency, and start the morning dive…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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Once again, Reality has stepped into my space to give me a message from Murphy, to wit: F___ you…. and the plans you made…. So, in order to assemble an adequate Pearl, I have to go old school…. Here are a series of quotes, all on different subjects, sort of, but all tied together…. Identifying the twine used to tie it is the task of the Gentle Reader, with the caveat that there is no Quiz at the end, and no grades will be given, should it elude your best efforts to pin it down…. Hell, sometimes, it’s a bit murky to me, but, hey, gotta do what we gotta do…. Mmmmm, oatmeal…..

“We are not endeavoring to chain the future but to free the present. … We are the advocates of inquiry, investigation, and thought. … It is grander to think and investigate for yourself than to repeat a creed. … I look for the day when *reason*, throned upon the world’s brains, shall be the King of Kings and the God of Gods.” — Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899)

“Happiness follows sorrow, sorrow follows happiness, but when one no longer discriminates between happiness and sorrow, a good deal and a bad deed, one is able to realize freedom.” — Buddha

“Food, sleep, fear, propagation; each is the common property of men with brutes. Virtue is really their additional distinction; devoid of virtue, they are equal with brutes.” — The Hitopadesa (600?-1100? A.D.)

“All things are to be examined and called into question. There are no limits set on thought.” — Smart Bee

For those who didn’t make it to page 249 of “The Anthropic Cosmological Principle” by John Barrow and Frank Tipler, I quote

“In a randomly infinite Universe, any event occurring here and now with finite probability must be occurring simultaneously at an infinite number of other sites in the Universe. It is hard to evaluate this idea any further, but one thing is certain: if it is true then it is certainly not original!”
— Smart Bee

“I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller!” — Zippy the Pinhead

So, there you have it…. and it almost makes sense…. close enough…..
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Tableau at Twilight