Maybe we should use another connotation of “stiff”…..

Ffolkes,

“The supreme irony of life is hardly anyone ever gets out of it alive.” — Robert Heinlein
portly puffin


Ffolkes, I don’t know about y’all, but, it’s my considered opinion that’s one damn silly looking puffin. Between the fat little body (which only appears that way; he’s actually about right for a seabird living in the cold Atlantic ocean…), the mouthful of dead fishies, (which goes to show it’s a pretty efficient fisher….), and that silly expression (do birds really HAVE expressions? If so, how do they do that without eyebrows?) Most importantly, why am I even THINKING about any of this, when I’ve got a Pearl to write?….

Oh well, such is life here at ECR…. I should probably tell you the picture came from the London Daily Telegraph, out of a weekly feature of theirs, called the Animal Pictures of the Week…. There are always some good shots in there, but, this one was irresistible…. If it wasn’t a wild creature, you’d want to take this little guy home with you, wouldn’t you? I know I would; he’s about as cute as can be….. Of course, no wild creature should ever be caged, in my opinion, nor made into a “pet”…

I do enjoy going to the zoo, but, in my heart, I grieve the entire time, for the loss of freedom for creatures who are made to live in the wild. I always end up sad, feeling their sadness, too, the sorrow felt by all those prisoners, of Mankind’s overbearing, completely misplaced sense of entitlement, SUPPOSEDLY given him by that first part in the Bible, that manual of idiocy spawned by a number of fanatical fear mongers over the course of centuries, wherein some asshole made the absolutely false statement that convinced everyone that we have “dominion” over the other creatures with whom we live…. It is especially hard for me to watch the large predators, such as bears, or the big cats, who, after a time, become neurotic and crazy from being confined their entire lives….

I know, it’s probably a little early to start a religirant, especially when it’s an attack on a book revered by such a large percentage of people. But, some days, my anger, at those bloody manipulative assholes, who make up the whole misogynistic structure of modern religious thinking, is just too huge for me to keep inside…. Jimmy Carter made what I consider one of the most cogent statements I’ve ever heard, about how men have perverted even religious dogma, one that SHOULD have been echoing back and forth across the world when it was made…. but, nobody paid any attention…. It went like this….

jimmy sez

    It is a small step from treating animals like property, to do with as we wish, to treating women, children, and anyone who will submit as if they are of no importance, as if the rights of one aggressive, confused person are more valid than the rights of a woman, a child, or an animal…. All it takes is the innate cowardice  that enables one to completely abjure any sort of true humanity, choosing instead the path taken by religious assholes for millennia, thus perpetuating the myths and false assumptions upon which the entire society has been built, and ensuring that women, children, and animals will suffer the perils of persecution and cruelty from men with no scruples….

Ah me…. There is no doubt that I’ve created a monster here; I kind of wish I had an explosive nuclear device with which to kill it, but, it’s rather amorphous, without shape or form one may grasp & hold, and may be hard to destroy…. I know, we can always laugh at it; that always seems to work on bullies, so it should work on these guys, for sure…. Of course, then we have to deal with the mess they always leave behind, but, that’s better than the alternative, for sure…. In fact, that’s such a grand idea, I’m going to make a unilateral decision here, by kicking us completely out of the intro, on into the next section….. I’ll do that, right about HERE….

Shall we Pearl?….

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free your very existence becomes an act of rebellion.” — Albert Camus

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I think I hurt myself, ranting like that before I was even awake…. Now, when I consider trying to work up the chutzpah to rant some more, I experience a sense of crushing fatigue, and extreme reluctance to get started….. In short, I’m feeling lazy…. To try to appease my sense of duty, we’ll put an old-school pearl in this section, then make another field decision later, when we get as far as section three…. It’s probably futile, but, it sounds like a plan to me, so, off we go, diving for dollars, or, more accurately, pearls of virtual wisdom….

“Men only learned to walk upright cause they put beer on the top shelf!” — Smart Bee

“Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty–power is ever stealing from the many to the few.” — Wendell Phillips

“The tragic lesson of guilty men walking free in this country has not been lost on the criminal community.” — Richard M. Nixon

“And we are told in the Scriptures that at the beginning of time the Lord  said, “Let there be light.” But I’ve checked this out with a number of eminent biblical scholars. The Lord’s complete statement was as follows:  “Let there be light. Well, maybe not all day.” — Steve Allen

“Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.” — H. L. Mencken

“A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.” — Napoleon Bonaparte, “Maxims” 1804-1815

Okay, so here’s the deal….This last little part is the perfect lawyer’s joke, as it takes aim at them from a number of directions, each striking well at their pointy little heads…. It doesn’t really fit the usual image of a pearl, but, it just went so well with the rest, I couln’t resist…. Here then, I give you our very fine closing pearl for today….

A lawyer shows up at the pearly gates. St. Peter says, “Normally we don’t let you people in here but you’re in luck, we have a special this week. You
go to hell for the length of time you were alive, then you get to come back up here for eternity.”

The lawyer says, “I’ll take the deal.”

St. Peter says, “Good, I’ll put you down for 212 years in hell …”

The lawyer says, “What are you talking about? I’m 65 years old!”

St. Peter says, “Up here we go by billing hours.”

— Orson Bean

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First, here’s a haiku, fresh….

Complete

I am, at last, done.
Nothing more to say, not now.
I shall go away.

~~ gigoid ~~


Now, to give this joint a little class, here’s a classic…

Witch Burning

In the marketplace they are piling the dry sticks.
A thicket of shadows is a poor coat. I inhabit
The wax image of myself, a doll’s body.
Sickness begins here: I am the dartboard for witches.
Only the devil can eat the devil out.
In the month of red leaves I climb to a bed of fire.

It is easy to blame the dark: the mouth of a door,
The cellar’s belly. They’ve blown my sparkler out.
A black-sharded lady keeps me in parrot cage.
What large eyes the dead have!
I am intimate with a hairy spirit.
Smoke wheels from the beak of this empty jar.

If I am a little one, I can do no harm.
If I don’t move about, I’ll knock nothing over. So I said,
Sitting under a potlid, tiny and inert as a rice grain.
They are turning the burners up, ring after ring.
We are full of starch, my small white fellows. We grow.
It hurts at first. The red tongues will teach the truth.

Mother of beetles, only unclench your hand:
I’ll fly through the candle’s mouth like a singeless moth.
Give me back my shape. I am ready to construe the days
I coupled with dust in the shadow of a stone.
My ankles brighten. Brightness ascends my thighs.
I am lost, I am lost, in the robes of all this light.

~~ Sylvia Plath ~~

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My reluctance to get started on a rant has not merely continued, but grown since last we spoke on this, above in section one…. Rather than subject y’all to yet another obscure grouping of pearls, we’ll go with some artwork…. Here are some pictures I’ve collected from the Net in the last few days &/or weeks, some with animals, a gorgeous landscape, and one brilliant political meme…. The attribution for these pictures is either SFGATE, the London Daily Telegraph, or the UK Guardian, which are my primary sources for news and pictures on the web…. Enjoy!…..

mantis howdyfrogmouth owlSolent News & Photo AgencyPOTD_Golden_Gate_2968182kget the lens cap eddiebrilliant Perry memewhat is that chameleon doing
I would caution you to NOT anthropomorphize the last picture…. It would be very easy, but, completely WRONG, so don’t do it….

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Well, that was interesting…. and I mean that in ALL of its senses…. I’m not going to fuss with even thinking about how it turned out, as it sort of got away from me rather quickly today…. I’m trusting my instincts just to post this, knowing it could be the end of all my hopes and dreams…. Well, that’s probably a bit dramatic, and overblown as to risk, but, hey, hyperbole can be fun, when used with some care…. Since that isn’t going to happen around here, I’ll find my way to the exit, and we’ll all be happy….. Well, until tomorrow, when I get up, and do it all again….. See y’all later, ffolkes…

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid the dubious

Featured Image -- 2780

She left the argyle socks again….

Ffolkes,
The difficulty I face today in creating this introductory section is to be able to choose from among the available subjects. The last couple of days has provided me with a plethora of material, thanks to the usual suspects; politics, taxes, corporate greed, and Murphy’s ubiquitous presence. Suffice it to say that the world has once again taken a dump on me, financially, and my immediate prospects of any travel to other parts of the world have disappeared from sight. Hell, with the way things have been left, I can’t afford to go downtown, much less overseas…. I’ll be lucky to have more than rice to eat the last week of this month, so Ireland is out of the picture, for the time-being….

Of course, the corporate mavens will say it’s my own fault, for not being able to pay what they are insisting I owe them. It matters not at all to them that I have already paid them more than originally agreed to on purchase, or that I no longer even have the item for which they want me to pay (it long ago having died from built-in obsolescence…).

All they care about is that they have a piece of paper that gives them the legal right to dun me for money they don’t deserve, or need. Though corporations have all the legal rights of individuals under our legal system, they have NONE of the actual human characteristics common to an individual; no compassion, no judgment, no flexibility, just adherence to law…..

Ah well, trying to get them to show any human characteristics is a futile pastime, so I don’t. They don’t much like when I ignore them, but I see no sense in telling them, once again, that I cannot pay them, no matter how much they threaten to ruin my now non-existent credit. Ruining my credit isn’t going to make it any easier to pay them, but that’s another of those things they don’t care about, so there isn’t any point in discussing it with them.

Plus, not talking to them is the only way I have to annoy them at all, and I’m not giving up that small power for anything…. they can simmer in their own juices….

So, having thus furnished me with a short rant to begin the day, we will nod them our minimal thanks, and get on with the show…. shall we Pearl?….
___________________________________

“To confess a fault freely is the next thing to being innocent of it.” — Publius Syrus

“Danger, danger, Will Robinson!”  Take heed!  The above statement has been around for a long time, obviously. And it is as dangerous a concept today as it was back when ol’ Publius mouthed this particular lie. Yes, I said lie…. this is a vicious, vindictive lie, one that I’m sure is in almost constant use in the Vatican, in Congress, and in the White House.

I’m sorry, but I cannot just let this go; the frank admission of a vice does NOT turn that vice into a virtue… Nope, it doesn’t, no matter how many times you say it, it just isn’t going to be the truth…. though, in reality, it has been said so often, and for so long, that most people accept it as such….

To my way of thinking, which is admittedly dissimilar to the average Joe’s, this is the root cause of a lot of what is wrong in society today. This idea was adopted by the Christian churches within moments of the death of Jesus Christ, seemingly, and has been the justification for war, oppression, and violence by the minions of that religion for thousands of years now. You see, they can kill, or hate, or enslave the proponents of other religions without fear of consequence, because they know that all will be forgiven, and Heaven will not deny them, if only they confess to their sins…. Nice work, if you can get it…

It has been noted before that to kill another human is against religious law…. that is, it is against that law if one man kills another. But, if many men are killed, in the name of the state, or of the church, then those who kill are rewarded as heroes. This hypocrisy has been true of every government since the beginning of society, aided and abetted by the churches, who reap the benefits of favoritism from the government (Boy, wouldn’t it be nice if WE were free from being taxed?….). If I wasn’t such an adult, with a sense of decorum and dignity, why, I’d spit right in their faces!

Which is why I do so, figuratively speaking, on such a regular basis…. believe me, if any of these corporate or religious honchos were to ever appear before me, I would be spitting as fast as I could work up the saliva…. and I wouldn’t be offering tissues, either….

Remember this ffolkes, at the next election…. just because they admit to lying, doesn’t mean the lie didn’t happen… in fact, it makes it worse, as it insults my intelligence for them to believe for a second that I would buy into that…. But, then, they don’t care how much they insult people, as long as they keep getting elected… and forgiven….
___________________________________

“Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind.” — Smart Bee

I think this is obvious to the point of becoming natural law. It’s a very close insight into human nature, and I don’t know about y’all, but it sure is true for me. Today is a perfect example of this….

I feel trapped a lot of the time. Hemmed in by the very society who is supposedly there to support me in my efforts to pursue my life’s goals and aspirations. Of course, anybody over the age of 10 realizes that that support often resembles a slap to the head, but the point is that society’s purpose for existing is to aid it’s citizens in maximizing their experiences for their benefit.

I mean, that is what its purpose is MEANT to be; I don’t think it would be very beneficial if this isn’t the case. Society is supposed to work in such a way that all of its members have an equal chance to succeed in whatever they undertake in life… that is its ostensible reason for existing at all….

In reality, it doesn’t work that way, for the simple reason that some of the folks in the game have changed the rules, simply to suit themselves, and what they want. And what they want is total control of everyone else…. They’re pretty good at it, too.

For close to 10,000 years now, the beloved ruling class has set things up in our culture to favor themselves. They have lied, cheated, stolen, killed, repressed, oppressed, and generally acted in a manner that the rest of humanity considers immoral, unethical, and inhuman, at the core. They have done this right in front of our eyes. The rules and laws that are agreed to by all were written to favor those in power, not those who serve.

Though every church shouts out how moral and ethical it is, and spouts off about the virtue of faith and obedience, they do so not from spiritual surety, but from avarice and ambition. Though every government claims to have the welfare of the people as its purported goal, the only people who gain are those who are already wealthy. The rest get welfare alright, but not the kind they should be able to expect….

And that is why it pisses me off so badly…. as humans, all we really want to do is be happy. It isn’t so much to ask. Most folks are happy when they have enough to eat, a place to sleep, and someone they love to be around. It soothes our nature to be able to share such feelings, hence the accuracy of the quote from Smart Bee above. We just feel better when we can share good feelings with others…. But, we are constantly blocked from doing so, by the society we live in.

In today’s culture, we are put in a situation where it takes all of our time and effort just to obtain the things we need; food, shelter, clothing. Gathering enough resources to ensure an ample supply of all three takes more than one person can make, thanks to the economic picture in a world where 1% of the population controls 99% of the money and resources.

Unless one throws aside all of one’s humanity, becoming one of the ruthless ones, indifferent to the suffering of others, as are those who inhabit the 1%, making enough to get by in today’s society just isn’t possible… I know, I’ve spent the last 50 years trying, and I’m a pretty talented guy….

Now, I don’t care about being rich. “If you want a life of trouble, fill your house with treasures…”, a Chinese proverb so old I don’t know who said it. But, I’ve believed it all my life, and worked only to get enough to live comfortably, and to provide stability and opportunities to succeed for my family. I’ve never given in to the urge to take advantage of others, or to cheat, or steal, or lie in order to get ahead; if I didn’t get ahead on merit, I stayed where I was.

It didn’t seem to matter much, anyway. The system is set up so that, at each step up the ladder of financial gain, the rules become more complicated, and are still set up to deny advancement. (I.E., as you make more money, they take more taxes…. In order to borrow money, you must already have money…. etc…)

Lately, the government has been less creative in their lies as to why they are taking money from the average Joe…. for all three of the last raises I got when working, the money was taken away by furloughs, reducing my hours. Each time I expected to make a bit more, they would take away another day’s work, thus eliminating the advancement in pay…. The justification was that state employees made too much anyway, and taking away their money was going to balance the budget… funny how that didn’t work out that way….

Being retired from working has had two effects for me, neither of which is particularly helpful…. It gives me way too much time to be able to look at reality, and find the flaws and kinks that are causing all the friction and conflict in the world. Unfortunately, it has also made the task of obtaining the three necessary items for survival more difficult, by reducing my income drastically, to the poverty line, and at the same time, making it more physically difficult to accomplish what I need to do. SIGH…. Murphy is such an ASSHOLE!

Okay, I’m done. I could go on most of the day, but it’s starting to sound whiny to me. I’m not a victim. I will be alright, eventually. I will be more than alright. But, it pisses me off royally that I can’t spend more time sharing my heart with others, rather than sharing my thoughts….

My heart is much more fun to be around, mostly…. at least I’d like to think so. Now, if I can only get it to climb out of the hole of depression it has crawled into so much lately, perhaps I can find a way to cheer it up…. as long as Murphy will give me a breather now and again….
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“A lawyer and a pope died on the same day, and both went to heaven. When the pope noticed that the lawyer had a larger mansion, he questioned Saint Peter about the allocation of rewards.  The  justification was “Well, we’ve had 265 popes up here, but this is the FIRST lawyer!” — Smart Bee

A couple of years ago, I made a poor decision, trying to help my son out of his own foolishness. I hired a lawyer for him, not knowing that the lawyer was one of those who are in the business of law for their own benefit, not that of their clients. Within four days of hiring him, I had been charged over $2500, and nothing had even been done, other than starting a file, making a five minute court appearance, where nothing was changed or reduced, and making two phone calls.

The bill I received noted that the charge for the two phone calls was for $68.75 EACH! (15 minutes of time at $275/hour). The charge for the five minute court appearance was for four hours at that rate. With the $1200 he charged me just for accepting the case, he had, in less than one week, charged me the equivalent of an entire month’s pay, at the rate I was then making.

I was astounded, and said so in a letter firing him. I have been struggling ever since to get that paid, and will sometimes offer my feelings about it when I send them a check. The secretary recently had the nerve to suggest to me that I shouldn’t include jokes about lawyers going to Hell if I was asking for patience…. Again, I was astounded, but managed to not bite her (it is fortunate her office is in another town, and my ability to get there is hampered…), but simply commented that the joke was about how I felt, not about the lawyer…. which was perfectly true…. Here is what I sent….

A lawyer shows up at the pearly gates. St. Peter says, “Normally we don’t let you people in here but you’re in luck, we have a special this week. You go to hell for the length of time you were alive, then you get to come back up here for eternity.” The lawyer says, “I’ll take the deal.” St. Peter says, “Good, I’ll put you down for 212 years in hell …” The lawyer says, “What are you talking about? I’m 65 years old!”  St. Peter says, “Up here we go by billing hours.” — Orson Bean

Now, I ask you, is that cruel? Of course not, it’s merely accurate. It certainly shows as much consideration for the lawyer’s feelings as he showed for mine. And, hey, this is MY blog, isn’t it? Why, yes, I do believe it is, and I believe that I’ll just keep on humiliating lawyers of his ilk whenever I feel like it…. so there….
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Ah, it always feels good to get out those particular nasty feelings and thoughts. Of course, after such a piece, I must needs spend the next few minutes thoroughly washing up, as it tends to get all over when I spew like that….. Bloody assholes…. Any who, it’s been nothing if not real today…. hopefully I haven’t pulled anyone into my nightmare. I’ll say this, though… I feel better for having vented, and I’ll settle for that…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!