Searching for sufficiency….


“You cannot conquer a free man, the most you can do is kill him.”

~~ Robert Heinlein ~~

fiery sunset

Sonoma County Sunset On Fire….

Hajime…. R.D. Laing, a Scottish psychiatrist who wrote extensively on the experience of psychosis,  once said, “Insanity — a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.” Considering my own experiences in living in today’s world, I can but agree, wholeheartedly. In fact, my recent extensive forays into the world at large have been little else than a continuing series of solid evidence supporting this idea. It also has been verification of my own decision to embrace and enjoy my own reaction to most of what occurs in my presence… In short, I no longer suffer from my tendencies to retreat into unreality; instead, I have embraced it, and learned to appreciate the irony that punctuates every insane act I see around me, as well as those I commit myself….

Oh, fear not, gentle reader; I haven’t gone completely off the rails; it only LOOKS that way. Mostly, I am using the unique perspective I find to be so useful for mitigating the angst that would otherwise build up to the point of explosion, leaking it out, instead, in tiny bursts of laughter (which, admittedly, can startle the natives, confusing them unmercifully….) and random acts of kindness and generosity, which few understand, but make me impervious to the ill effects of self-denigration. If that’s unclear, well, so be it. I find myself less concerned with what others think of me than has long been the case, and the sense of liberation is exquisite….

I suppose this is all a long-winded attempt to explain some of my absence, but, in looking back over what I’ve written thus far, I see it falls short of clarity. Since we’re already three paragraphs into this intro, it might be prudent to cease attempting to explain, or, even worse, justify my recent lack of production, & get on with what we have for today’s mess, if only to save a bit of time. Of course, saving time is merely another of our illusions; time is what we use to keep track of all that stuff that isn’t happening NOW, & cannot really be ‘saved’, or ‘lost’; those are merely distinctions important only to our human egos…. In truth, time just is; we only have a view of the present, with the past as immutable, and the future unborn. No wonder we’re confused.

Therefore, let us make an honest attempt to reduce our confusion, if only for a short time, by, moving on to the rest of today’s little mess, where you’ll find, if naught else, something different than this display of ill-conceived verbiage. Hell, you might even find something you enjoy; hope always springs eternal, even for those of us who have lost all hope. Well, lost all faith in hope, anyway, as happens with any failure of imagination. On that esoteric, if depressing, note, let us find our way down the page….

Shall we Pearl?….

“You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.”

~~ Subtle Bee ~~



The Lads from Dublin, 40 years later….

At some point in your life, you’ve heard these lads play their music, which they’ve been making together since the middle of the last century. Whether one is a fan of Irish/Celtic music, or not, watching one of their shows is an education in both Irish culture, and musicianship. I’ve been listening to them for almost my entire life, and still find their music to be a source of joy…. I hope you do as well…. Drink Life, and, slainté!….


The Dubliners
40th Year Reunion Concert





The new poem upon which I’ve been laboring is still not done; it’s dribbling more than actually leaking. To sublimate, here is a poem I wrote about 5.5 years ago, one of the first I wrote after a 40 year hiatus. I like it, and I hope you do, as well….

A Failure to Germinate

Marking the days in elements of sad disarray
only holds me thrall, as I laugh while I may.
With cold, hard hands so impatient and cruel
pulling me to this vale of tears, a pathetic old fool.

Feelings sit silent, cast in shadows and light
breaking forth to implicate such vengeful might.
Just below the surface they patiently hide
to sally forth bravely, colors bright as they ride.

Tears and pain transform valued assets in hand
while comfort and serenity retreat to a far land.
Bold, bright patterns of hope garnish my ruinous state
until reality enters, full of disdainful portions of hate.

I sort out the illustrious measures of vision gone mild
only to find them transformed, now vicious and wild.
In my deepest desires I find myself calloused and cold
with faithless advocates whose souls have been sold.

My search finds little to support any hope of relief
far too much time has passed to bolster such belief.
The sad becomes real, and real becomes unfounded
until flights of such fancy are all dead, and grounded.

Nature has informed me of the newly hatched crime
of which reality boasted proudly, time after time.
The last answer we think of is always the best
as we come to terms with fate, our hope at rest.

~~ gigoid ~~




Naked Pearls

Did you know….?


“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”

~~ Aristotle ~~


“A man should be greater than some of his parts.”

~~ Subtle Bee ~~


“When mind soars in pursuit of the things conceived in space,
it pursues emptiness.
But when the man dives deep within himself,
he experiences the fullness of existence.”

~~ Meher Baba ~~


“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

~~ Mark Twain~~


“How would you know you are alive, unless you had once been dead?”

~~ Subtle Bee, (with thanks to Carl Jung…) ~~


“Who is more foolish:
the child afraid of the dark or
the man afraid of the light?”

~~ Maurice Treehill ~~


“Great is the art of beginning, but greater the art of ending…”

~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~~



I hope y’all will take note of the final pearl in the last section, which was placed there simply because of the appropriate nature of its message, in re: today’s offering. I find it both ironic, and satisfyingly smarmy. Y’all, of course, may make your own decisions; we are nothing if not tolerant in the face of absurdity. Since we have now used the one word most applicable to this entire process (from at least two perspectives….), I shall bid thee adieu, until I can manage to cobble together another fresh Pearl for your pleasure. Be well, be happy as you may, and, be just as strange as you can stand…. I guarantee, I will….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.


“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch


À bientôt, mon cherí….


Softly altering the edges of reality….


“Water go down the hole…”

~~ Baby Plucky. ~~

meditation pathway

Meditation on the Bay….

Hajime…. My usual routine for posting a Pearl comes with an arbitrary deadline, of 0600, a time I chose back in the early days, when sleep was an uncommon event. Since achieving a degree of physical stability, meaning I could sleep more regularly, I’ve kept it at the same time, to give myself a target at which to shoot. Today, I missed the target by a wide margin, thanks to my sleep being thoroughly disrupted by my resident furry extortionist, who wanted to play all fucking night, without any consideration for what I may have wanted…. The upshot is, I am up late, and in a foul mood, neither of which bodes well for being able to write with any panache, or, for that matter, comprehensibility. Hell, it’s all I can do to keep from tearing my hair out, & I don’t have much of it left…

Fortunately, I had already finished most of today’s mess, so, I’ll merely curtail any impulse to attempt to overcome my handicaps, and put aside any unwarranted desire to furnish this with any foolish attempts at wit or erudition. Instead, I’ll make this the final introductory paragraph, and try to go with what little flow I can find. To do so is, also fortunately, relatively simple; all I need to do is this….

Shall we Pearl?….

“If at first you doubt, doubt again.”

~~ William Bennett ~~



Lucy Spraggan

Image from via Google Images

While on my recent binge of watching talent shows on You Tube, I heard this young woman audition for Britain’s Got Talent, wherein she played a song she wrote, called “Tea and Toast”. It was, to say the least, a great audition, for she played her guitar & sang with a unique style, as well as lyrics that displayed wit and insight. I then visited her website, where I found she had released an album, and a short four-song CD, both of which I bought. All her songs are fresh, lyrical in a unique way, and delightfully witty. I think one day, fairly soon, she’ll be commonly known as one of music’s brightest new stars…. I hope you enjoy listening to her as much as I do….


Lucy Spraggan





Ah Ain’t Sho, but Mebbe So….

Fried eggs got nuthin’ on me
Ah’m not even sure of mah name,
or how Ah come to be;
no idea from where Ah came.

Ah does like a mystery tho’,
puzzlin’ things out so’s Ah knows,
good from bad fo sho,
Ah sho don’t want no rock pillows.

If’n Ah cain’t figure out what’s best,
Ah just falls back on mah Daddy’s words,
seems he knowed just whut’d stand the test,
‘n how to gentle the scaredest birds.

‘Course, he’d lived a good long time,
‘n had lots of stuff go on by;
Went to a war, n’ lost a piece or two,
never once used it fer an alibi.

He tol’ me once Ah’d best learn to learn,
school’s only cool if ya ain’t already a fool.
Yer own good measure you can earn,
by startin’ yer learnin’ with the Golden Rule.

Always seemed to me as Ah growed up,
he mostly only spoke if it wuz true,
‘n by doin’ that clued me to what’s up,
kept me from stuff that’d a made me blue.

Without ever sayin’ the word itself,
Ah learned ’bout honor, ‘n helpin’ others
not some fake stuff from some shelf,
but, knowin’ whut’s right, ‘n that we’re all brothers.

Ah’ve been around long enough now, Ah think
to get around the block at least two times.
I s’pose long as my head don’t shrink
Ah’ll keep on doin’ right, ‘n makin’ these rhymes…..

~~ gigoid ~~




Naked Pearls

There and back again….


“It is only when we forget all our learning that we begin to know.”

~~ Henry David Thoreau ~~


“I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years,
and I’m happy, Doctor, I finally won out over it.”

~~ Jimmy Stewart in Harvey, 1950. ~~


“Madness need not be all breakdown.
It may also be breakthrough.
It is potential liberation and renewal…”

~~ R.D. Laing ~~


“One kernel is felt in a hogshead;
one drop of water helps to swell the ocean;
a spark of fire helps to give light to the world.
None are too small, too feeble, too poor to be of service.
Think of this and act.”

~~ Hannah More ~~


“Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go;
it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.”

~~ Alice M. Swaim ~~


“Count your age by friends not years, and count your life by smiles, not tears.”

~~ John Lennon ~~


“It is pleasant to have been to a place the way a river went.”

~~ Henry David Thoreau ~~



Okay, that’s all I’ve got. It’s better than I’d hoped, for I managed to keep from pounding my keyboard into dust. The effort did cost me a lot, as I found myself having to restrain my homicidal, or, in this case, felinicidal impulses, so as to remember where all the keys were. But, it’s done, so, rather than dwell upon the past, I’ll go post it, & hope for the best. I hope your day starts better than did mine; perhaps the music, and the poetry, or maybe the pearls will help in that. If so, I am content, & I think that’s the best I can hope for today. Since that’s so, I’m outta here, before it all falls down… See ya, ffolkes… be well & stay alert….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.


“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch

Featured Image -- 14259

À bientôt, mon cherí….


You always remember the first time….


So much for the best laid plans…. I’d intended to NOT write this morning, but, Vicki wants her first Pearl, so, I have to make one for her today, or, I’ll never hear the end of it….  🙂   Just kidding, of course, but, only a little…. After getting to spend time with her and Carolyn yesterday, I’m happy to oblige…. Besides, y’all should know by now it’s hard to shut me up once I get started….

We met over Carole’s grave at the Templeton Cemetery yesterday, and got to do a lot of catching up to the last 23 years since our last meeting….Actually, much longer in C’s case, as she missed the 20 year reunion that V and I got to in 1988 or so…. It was an embarrassingly large number of years since our last sight of each other at our HS graduation, large enough we won’t mention it…. We talked of Carole, and our lives since then, having a great time reestablishing some of the bond of friendship left from so long ago….

Both of them are now the newest members of the group who receives the email version of the Pearls each day I send them out…. I used to call them the Pearl Drops; now they are the Pearly Gates, which seems more fitting, given our advanced ages…. though I must admit that both of them have borne the weight of the years far better than I; they looked great!….. I don’t know how this will go over, but, hey, that’s never stopped me before, has it?…

Rather than turn them off with an immediate blathering session, I’ll make this intro short, and get into the pearls right away, as I am still on the road, technically… It’s about 0545, I still have 150 or so miles to go to get home, and I can feel the cold hovering, just waiting to suck up my energy…. So, I’m going to create one old-school pearl, pick a poem, and find an old rant to include, to give them an idea of a typical Pearl that goes out… and I’d best get to it, or I won’t have the energy to do any of what I need to do today, like drive home…. Too bad, actually, the internet at this motel is the fastest I’ve ever encountered; they’re running at 144 Mbs download, which is incredibly fast… Got to watch a movie online last night with no skips or buffering problems…

Any who…. Shall we Pearl?….

“Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.” — Aldous Huxley

So, this is an old-school pearl… The parameters I used to pick these delightful morsels of thought were a bit loose, but, in general, they all were to direct our attention to the nature of Man… just to see what is up with that…..

For forms of government let fools contest;
Whate’er is best administer’d is best.
For modes of faith let graceless zealots fight;
His can’t be wrong whose life is in the right.
In faith and hope the world will disagree,
But all mankind’s concern is charity.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Man, Epistle iii, Line 303

“Society highly values its normal man. It educates children to lose themselves and to become absurd, and thus be normal. Normal men have killed perhaps 100,000,000 of their fellow normal men in the last fifty years.” — R. D. Laing

“It is well to remember, my son, that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.” — John Andrew Holmes

“I give up, what is the meaning of life?” — Smart Bee

“‘Forty-two,’ said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.” — Douglas Adams (Life, The Universe, and Everything)

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” — Nietzsche

See? Perfect…. It’s all in the wrist….

Normally, I’d spend time finding a good poem, but we’ll go with one of mine, instead….   🙂

Piraeus calls me, silently.

Sizzle, sizzle, crash, bang, boom.
Intellect burning with subsequent doom.
Lingering long over decisive style,
Whistling up chaos all the while.

Such frozen thoughts may shatter,
Should we infer, but, no matter.
Firing blanks is children at play
Blooded sages all gasp in dismay.

Nonsense is good sense at times
Mundane objectives trip lightly in rhymes.
Fallen angels dance on a pin
Until each sinner enters within.

Fast moments with natural rain
Bring ashes, yet still must remain.
Final thoughts clamor for more
Find them only on a far distant shore.

~~ gigoid ~~


Not too bad, so far…. I’ll be back in a moment of two, with a rant from an archived Pearl to substitute for the one I DON’T have in me today…. This is from sometime in the middle of 2012….


“Necessity is the plea of every infringement of human freedom.  It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.” — William Pitt (1759-1806) speech on the India Bill, Nov. 18, 1783

I had not intended to start with a political rant, but this just came up, so here we go…. This is as true today as it was in 1783, perhaps even more so. Since 9/11/01, when those fanatic idiots carried out their insane delusions of grandeur on the world stage, the “necessity” for Homeland Security has been the watchword of the political pundits who unfortunately are in charge of the legislative and executive branches of our government. Bill after bill after bill keeps coming down the pike and bulling their way through into becoming law, or even worse, is created by executive order, without the benefit of review by Congress, useless as that entity may be.

The entire incident that happened that day was blown completely out of proportion by the media. Yes, it was a tragedy, in which something over 3000 American lives were lost, in three separate incidents. The videos of those planes hitting the buildings in New York must have been replayed a thousand times before noon, all over the country, until every American who had access to a TV was informed of what had occurred….

The American media, and the political machinery that manipulates it so effectively, then proceeded to flood every channel with the after effects, making sure that the sorrow and fear of every person they could find willing to speak of it on camera was put on the evening news, and ensuring that no rational, dispassionate examination of the events would ever take place. Before the first day had passed, the national reaction had been whipped to a frenzy, stirring the fears of every paranoid in society, and making it seem as if the entire nation was filled with anger and vengeful righteousness. Though I didn’t join in the paranoia, I could feel it happening all around me, as normally intelligent people became so angry they lost all sense of proportion, or for that matter, all sense of truth.

In the ensuing years, whenever the politicians have wanted to distract the nation from what they were actually doing, all they needed to do was mention the word terrorism, or national security, to immediately put attention off of them, and onto the pitiful  group of fanatical Muslims they blamed for the attacks (completely ignoring all the reasons those same politicians had provided those fanatics with to attack in the first place….). And thus, the Hunt for Osama bin Laden was on!

In this country, as a result of those attacks, approximately 5000 American lives were lost (that figure is larger than the actual number, purposely…. it is near enough to correct to make the point…). At this time, in the quest to find bin Laden in Afghanistan, over 50,000 Afghani civilians have been killed. In Iraq, which we somehow decided to invade, even though they had nothing to do with 9/11, well over 250,000 civilians have died to soothe our national pride. In that same period, we lost another 1000 or so soldiers in fighting and bombings.
And, as a side effect, the US Bill of Rights has been effectively eliminated, by Executive Order, disguised as Homeland Security.

“Hatred is the coward’s revenge for being intimidated” — George Bernard Shaw

So, what is my point here? My point is this…. those pathetic fanatics killed more than they had ever been able to kill, once. Once. Since that one time, our country has killed over 300,000 civilians in retaliation (you call it what you like, I call it schoolyard revenge by bullies), and every politician in this country has wrapped themselves in the flag, not to proclaim their patriotism, but to manipulate the unreasonable fear they created in the public to keep them from realizing the truth of the matter. And that truth is: we are in no real danger from Al Qaida, or from any other splinter faction terrorist group. They may be able to pull of stunts such as that one occasionally, but for the most part, the world has gotten pretty good at either catching them in hiding, or stopping their plots before they actually carry them out. Governments have a LOT more resources than terrorists, no matter how rich they may be personally.

No, the pathetic, desperate people who become terrorists are created by those same political pundits who are reviling them and hunting them down. They are not a real threat to anyone, as they don’t have the wherewithal to perform more than one act of violence at a time; they cannot wage a war, they can only try to act as guerrilla forces, at best. Mostly, they are just sad schemers, planning glorious deaths, that ultimately have no meaning, other than to provide the Western politicos another unreasonable fear to use against the American public, in order to continue their raping and pillaging among their own people.

The entire issue is one that is repugnant to me; I have watched in horror, not as terrorists have been hunted, but as the rights of the American people have been taken away in the name of “security”. Security from what? We don’t need more security from terrorists; those techniques for dealing with it are well-established, and effective, as they employ the very same methods used by the fanatics to achieve their ends. No, we need more security from our own pundits, who have utilized this tragic events for their own benefit, to the everlasting regret of every true patriot….. bloody assholes, every one of them…..

“I have formed a very clear conception of patriotism. I have generally found it thrust into the foreground by some fellow who has something to hide in the background. I have seen a great deal of patriotism; and I have generally found it the last refuge of the scoundrel.” — G. K. Chesterton, The Judgement of Dr. Johnson, Act III

Not bad… not bad…. Maybe, if I repeat it long enough, it will become true…. That seems to be the policy that works for political pundits, and quite well, given the gullibility of the average American…. Oops, sorry, forgot, the rant is done…. Any who, I think that’s enough for one day, and hopefully, a fine first Pearl for my friends…. I can’t say right now if there will be a Pearl tomorrow morning; we’ll see how I feel when I get up then…. meantime, see ya….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole,
and everyone else, too….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why…

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.



The remainder may go free…..

In re: motivation…. let’s be honest. The motivation that prompts each of us to write, and then to post what we write, may be simple, or it may be complex; humans have a tendency toward both at times, depending on their predilections, and preferences in life. In my own case, since I tend to complicate matters naturally, it is somewhat complex; I suppose I enjoy the feeling of chaos at work that comes with maintaining an active mental life. In short, I’m crazy as a bed bug, and I like it…..

As the old saying goes, I don’t suffer from insanity, I revel in it…..  😆   In fact, I encourage insanity in others, often, in an attempt to give life a little spice when it falls into one of those routines, that threatens to become a rut….. There is nothing like some general insanity to liven up a party, now, is there? Who’s more popular on the dance floor than the guy with the lampshade on his head?….. Nobody, that’s who!

There are so many aphorisms floating around in my head, I often can’t remember who said what, but, I believe it might have been Voltaire, or another social philosopher of the modern age, who said, “Insanity is a sane reaction to an insane world.”….. Oh, hell, Google will know… Yep, I was right in my being wrong…. it was the psychiatrist and philosopher R.D. Laing who is credited most often with that particular phrase… though other authors seem to lay claim to it without any regard for that information…

Now that we have that out of the way, and we know for a fact that, a) I’m crazy as a loon, and b) it doesn’t matter at all for our purposes here, we can get down to business, and stop with the fluff (Whew! Tough word to type…. took me five tries…. that fluff stuff is tougher than it sounds….). I have some crow to eat, and I’ll thank you to let me chew and swallow quickly, to avoid some of the unpleasant flavor…. It still leaves a bitter after taste, no matter how quick one is in spitting it out, or downing it, whatever….

Yesterday, I ranted for quite a while about missionaries, such as those generally found in remote places lording it over the natives, and specifically targeted the most famous of that breed, Mother Teresa. I knew when I chose the subject that I risked some controversy, but, I happen to believe all I that I write, and still do.

But, a friend, one of the email recipients of the Pearls, happens to live in my building, and we got to discussing the piece in the afternoon, during which discussion, she most excellently, and correctly, scolded me, putting me back into my correct place, for having targeted whom I did. She did so without ever falling into trying to make me feel bad, but, rather, explaining, or, reminding me, mostly, of a piece of the picture I had forgotten to acknowledge….

Essentially, that piece is this: I’ve never met Teresa, and, in the eyes of a great many people, she is considered to be one of the most compassionate, truly loving examples of a follower of Christ that has ever lived, achieving relative sainthood during her lifetime for the charity work she does with the poor.

According to legend (which, right now, I am merely listing, and not questioning for veracity….), she is a perfect example of how a real Christian should live, in the sense that she eschews all worldly material goods in favor of giving herself and all she has to help those less fortunate than herself…. In light of her unswerving dedication to this life-style, and her absolute defiance of typical Church procedures, she is truly one of the heroines of the common man….

I have observed much of Teresa’s life in the public eye, as she, and her books (five of them) all came into the light of public scrutiny when I was a child, so I have known OF her for many years. When I googled her name, the first page of results showed about 15 results, of which five were informational, such as Wikipedia, or sites where images were shown, seven were positive stories about her life, (she died in 1997), and three were articles like mine, that explored the darker side of the missionary activities she perpetrated for the Catholic Church in her lifetime. One was entitled, “The Darker Side of Mother Teresa”, while another headline in the Huffington Post proclaimed, ” Mother Teresa Humanitarian Image A ‘Myth,’ New Study Says”. I’ve included below the Google links to the three articles that challenge the usual image we have of the good sister….,d.b2U&cad=rja,d.b2U,d.b2U

After speaking with my friend, I went back to read over what I’d written yesterday, and I will confess to a degree of vituperation that may have been overdone. I don’t know the woman personally, so all I have to go on is her public persona, what I know about people and their psyches, and the depths to which they will sink to achieve their ends, regardless of whether or not those ends are either moral, ethical, or even helpful at all. So, I apologize for anything I said about her being an evil person…. she may indeed be a very compassionate, truly Christian woman, so I will acknowledge that portion of the legend that has grown up around her…..

However, I stand by what I said about her missionary work, and that entire ilk of religious fanaticism, or for how observing how it is demeaning for those it purports to help.  In truth, it seems clear to me the practice is motivated by the desire of the priesthood to claim more souls, not out of any particular concern for those souls themselves. The Church doesn’t send out missionaries to save the people, it wants the souls, which translates into power over others, and a lifelong bivouac of luxury and pomp for the clergy….

Nuns are a bit different, as many of them are actually out there in the world, dealing with people, so, they tend to ignore or modify what the church itself might do or say to fit the local circumstances; otherwise they would never get anything done to help people. But, their motivation remains murky, even to them, as almost every nun, or priest I’ve ever known, if they were at all honest people, suffered from crises of faith, where they doubted their vocation… Perfectly natural, and a shame they always seem to talk themselves out of listening to that little voice in their head….

Well, I’ve started to ramble, and it is threatening to turn into another rant, (actually, in looking back, it already did that….), so I guess I’d better get on with this, or I’ll never get done today…. I’ll have to depend on Smart Bee to come up with something different to talk about, but, it never seems to have much trouble with that….

Any who, I’m sorry for picking on Mother Teresa… like the Beatle’s song said about the Queen, “I imagine she’s a pretty nice girl, but she doesn’t have a lot to say….”  She may or may not be as bad as I made her out to be; to my mind, even if she is not a bad person, she is still operating under a set of very strong delusions, but, that is not at all unusual in this world, so I can’t hold that against her…. So, sorry, Terry… I hope your compassion can extend to forgiving me for my brashness and the crime of inelegance, if nothing else….

In the meantime, shall we Pearl?…..

“Enough is enough.” ~~ gigoid

I’ve re-read the intro section, as it seemed a bit like it was too long…. It was, indeed, but, I can’t in good conscience take much of it out, or it will fall apart from its own inner weight imbalances (it’s a very weighty discussion, difficult to keep in balance, as each word and phrase changes the moment of vector…. trust me, the math is tricky, but clear….). So, I’ve resorted to one of my own aphorisms, above, one I mutter to myself often, as an incantation against breaking free of the habit of moderation in all that I do…. Moderation is the key to long life, I believe, but, even moderation itself needs to be practiced in moderation; it’s a good thing now and again to just let go, and give one’s wild side free rein…. just long enough to release all the built up angst, but not long enough to land in jail….  😉

So, naturally, I shall default into the normal procedure for following a rant, even if it is an intro, and submit for your reading pleasure a harlequin pearl, freshly chosen this morning, complete with potential hilarity and possible clarity…. enjoy!  Oh, and, no point to this one, it’s all as random as I can make it…. so, don’t hurt yourself trying to figure out if it has one…. Of course, if it should end up with an obvious sharp point, let us know, so nobody hurts themselves on it, okay? Thanks…..

“If Mother Nature doesn’t make mistakes then why does dessert taste better than dinner?” — Smart Bee

Shifu: “If the instrument is broken, the music will be sour.”
Daniel: “The music does not play the musician.”
Shifu: “Normally there is truth in that.”
Daniel: “Really? Good. Because I really didn’t have any idea what I was talking about.”
— from Stargate

“Call on God, but row away from the rocks.” — Indian proverb

“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

” — You know it’s going to be a rotten day when you wake up face down on the pavement.” — Smart Bee (?)

Hmm… for a five-star, it’s not bad, if a bit strange… I think two more ought to bring the Force, if not the Metaphorse, back into balance for now…. let’s see what comes up….

“A life lived in fear is only half lived.” — Spanish proverb

“By the time this message gets back on topic, WE’LL ALL BE DEAD!” — Smart Bee
(Doh!   😳   Sorry, this one doesn’t count… Smart Bee isn’t supposed to do that…. bad Smart Bee, bad dB!…. One more, for good measure….)

“Good generally conquers evil. Unless, of course, good is stupid.” — Smart Bee

And there you have it… Smart Bee came through in the end with the perfect closer…. Okay, onward, or we’ll never get done….

In the interests of brevity, along with elegance and depth, where else would I go, but to Emily?…..

Rouge et Noir

Soul, wilt thou toss again?
By just such a hazard
Hundreds have lost, indeed,
But tens have won an all.

Angels’ breathless ballot
Lingers to record thee;
Imps in eager caucus
Raffle for my soul.

~~ Emily Dickinson

Her poems are small enough that two is not crowding….

Rouge Gagne

‘Tis so much joy! ‘Tis so much joy!
If I should fail, what poverty!
And yet, as poor as I
Have ventured all upon a throw;
Have gained! Yes! Hesitated so
This side the victory!

Life is but death, and death but death!
Bliss is but bliss, and breath but breath!
And if, indeed, I fail,
At least too know the worst is sweet.
Defeat means nothing but defeat,
No drearier can prevail.

And if I gain – oh, gun at sea,
Oh, bells that in the steeples be,
At first repeat it slow!
For heaven is a different thing
Conjectured, and waked sudden in,
And might o’erwhelm me so!

~~ Emily Dickinson

Faith, n: “That quality which enables us to believe what we know to be untrue.” — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

Calm down! And sit down, and relax…. I am well aware that, upon first seeing the above aphorism where it is, you immediately figured I was going to start in on another rant of major proportion, again heaping scorn upon the priestly hierarchies, and the myriad of folks who fall for their rather unbelievable fantasies…. Even I, however, have my limits….

I wrote around a thousand words above, in a general way, about religion, or, at least, religious figures, and I’m not going to burden you with another…. No, this was chosen just to get your blood moving, and to relax you for a final, short group of simple pearls, all on a particular subject, or as near as I can make them…. What that subject might be is for you to guess, should you wish to exercise your imagination in that way…. Otherwise, just enjoy them for their, well, whatever they are….

“When Eudaemonidas heard a philosopher arguing that only a wise man can be a good general, “This is a wonderful speech,” said he; “but he that saith it never heard the sound of trumpets.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Eudaemonidas

‘When they tell you to grow up, they mean to stop growing.” — Tom Robbins

“I have known noble ones who lost their highest hope, and then they disparaged all high hopes. They lived shamelessly in temporary pleasures, and hardly had an aim beyond the day. “Spirit is also voluptuousness,” they said. Then they broke the wings of their spirit; it now creeps about, and defiles whatever it gnaws at. Once they thought of becoming heroes, but they have become sensualists. A trouble and a terror is the hero to them. By my love and hope, I implore you: do not cast away the hero in your soul. Maintain holy your highest hope. Thus spoke Zarathustra.” — Friedrich Nietzsche, _Thus Spoke Zarathustra_

“All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.” — Mark Twain (1835-1910)

(Well, actually, Robert Heinlein did write a book called, “Job, A Comedy of Justice”, in which the main character happens to meet up with the Devil, when he was picked up hitchhiking, is taken to His home, and hears His side of the whole story… It’s a great read, if one can suspend belief, and exist purely in imagination for a time…. It’s also funny enough in spots I’ll warn you to be seated when you read it…. I will note, in Twain’s defense, that the book was written well after he died, so he can be forgiven for not knowing of it….   😆    )

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: (1) not going all the way; and (2) not starting.” — Buddha

Well, I don’t think I could have picked a better closing pearl if I had it specifically in mind…. good job, and good recovery, Smart Bee! Well done….

I am almost afraid to go back over this to proof… but, here goes…..  I’m really not sure how it happened, but, this is a good one…. I like it, and since that is all that counts, ultimately, it can go out as is, with my blessing, if not my hopes…. Those have already been realized today, when my first tax refund hit the bank electronically…. I’m considering dinner out tonight, as a start….

It’s nice to not have to think about how that might run me short at the end of the month, as it is already almost that time…. More proof that patience, while not an absolutely essential quality to possess, is surely of some value in preserving our dignity, if not our comfort….. And THAT is surely an example of “Enough is enough”….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.



Methodical methods for modified slavish sycophants….

Today, I am a man. I was a man yesterday, too. Tomorrow, I’m turning in my papers, and will be out of the door, and well on my way to a better existence, as a cat.

Yep. A cat. I’m tired of this mankind nonsense…. this species has none of the characteristics with which I would prefer to live my life, spending it instead in mad paroxysms of idiotic warfare, abuse of women and children, and self-hatred disguised as racism and bigotry. Cats don’t do any of that stuff, and after long negotiations with the gods of reincarnation (they’re pretty nice once you get to know them), I have secured an appointment to change species…..

Day after tomorrow, my biggest decisions will involve when and where to nap, whether to annoy a human or comfort one, or whether to eat now, or later….. I won’t have to worry about Mitt the Twitt threatening to destroy all the progress our society has made in the last 100 years. I won’t have to worry about taxes. I won’t have to worry that some asshole banker wants more of my money, or that some politician is spreading more lies. None of that will have any more bearing on what I’m doing, and boy, am I looking forward to it…. After all, ignorance is bliss, right? Just ask any conservative American church-goer….. you can find a passel of them hanging around at the Westboro Baptist Church….

Today, however, I am tasked with once more heading into the breech, taking up the challenge, and producing a Pearl of Virtual Wisdom (affectionately known as “Pearls”…). Since that is a task that promises to be quite a challenge today, I’d best be about it….. Shall we Pearl?…..

“Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.” — J. R. R. Tolkien

What we think is less than what we know:
What we know is less than what we love:
What we love is so much less than what there is:
and to this precise extent, We are much less than what we are.
— R.D. Laing, The Politics of Experience

Psychobabble, by any other name, could not be any stupider than this. And that is a period at the end of that sentence, which means  no more that needs to be said about it. Since that goes against all the rules here, I’ll have to say this…. R.D. Laing was first caught spouting the above nonsense just about the time I was in Psych. Tech. school at Cuesta College/Atascadero State Hospital, and was one of the psychotherapists we studied in that school. At the time, he had a lot of followers, though not many in our class; our exposure to the individuals who received treatment at ASH made his techniques rather useless. But, it is another example of the power of human stupidity, and how it permeates every level of society….

A little learning is a dangerous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again.
— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Criticism, Part ii, Line 15

Any fool can read a book or two, then write one that makes fun of those books. Then, they start spouting nonsensical, meaningless aphorisms such as the one above in public, on radio and TV talk shows, and go on a whirlwind tour of bookstores to encourage more people to buy the book, and spread their nonsense out over the whole of society. This is proof of Mssr. Pope’s first line, “A little learning is a dangerous thing,”, as the little bit of learning the author has engaged in becomes his/her tower of information, their bastion of expertise,  unassailable by either logical or intuitive reasoning, until their brand of ignorance joins the top-ten list of humanity’s follies, right up there with religion, and politics…..

“How many people eat, drink, and get married; buy, sell and build; make contracts and attend to their fortune; have friends and enemies, pleasures and pains, are born, grow up, live and die – but asleep!” — Joseph Joubert

Our culture is dying, if not already dead. When it reaches the point where 20 million people, or more, will choose a man like the Twitt over the incumbent president, just because his skin isn’t white, (yes, racists, all of them. They just use the healthcare, birther, and other issues they jump on to sublimate their fear of the “darkie” in the Oval Office….), then culture is dead. If not now, it certainly will go down in flames should that fool be elected, as he tries to guide society back to the Stone Age. Should he enter that office, I shudder to think of how our image to the rest of the world will suffer, as Mitt the Twitt knows NOTHING about other countries, other than how their tax laws may favor him in his goal to become a modern Croesus….

Face it, ffolkes, this election isn’t about healthcare, or jobs, or women’s rights, or immigration. It is about race, and the time has come for those of us who are aware of this to speak out, to shout out, and point out the ignorance and lies that are being bandied about like candy at Halloween. The forces of Evil are at large, and have taken control of the fanatic zealots on the conservative right. In addition they have recruited all those in our culture who are closet racists, supplying sublimation issues for the real reason they fight so hard against this president. It is the responsibility of those who are on the side of Reason to fight back, as best we may without resorting to the methods used by the other side, which would put us in the same hypocritical boat.

Stay alert, ffolkes, the time is coming when hard decisions will need to be made…. be ready, or we will all be going down the road to Hell in the same handbasket….. and remember….

“It is impossible for a man to be cheated by anyone but himself.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

A clock stopped — not the mantel’s
Geneva’s farthest skill
Can’t put the puppet bowing
That just now dangled still.

An awe came on the trinket!
The figures hunched with pain,
Then quivered out of decimals
Into degreeless noon.

It will not stir for doctors,
This pendulum of snow;
The shopman importunes it,
While cool, concernless No

Nods from the gilded pointers,
Nods from seconds slim,
Decades of arrogance between
The dial life and him.

— Emily Dickinson

I was in need of a bit of esoterica, to bring some balance after ranting, and this little piece of Emily does the trick just fine…. enjoy!

Fetch the holy hand grenade …. — Smart Bee

I am perplexed. Perhaps you can help?….. This tagline popped up in front of me twice in a three-second period this morning while searching for pearls, so I figure Smart Bee wants me to use it pretty badly. Unfortunately, I can’t, as I’m uncertain as to its exact meaning.

Does the fact that it is holy come from being blessed by some earthly representative of a holy figure? Or was it created from nothing, a virgin-birth sort of thing, by God Himself? Or is it a holy hand grenade because it blows up holy stuff, or maybe because it leaves places all holy (full of holes…)? These are important things to know before I can commit to using it as basis for a rant. Ranting is a delicate undertaking, and it could be potentially embarrassing to rant for a while, then discover my subject is completely 180 degrees removed from what I thought it was; I blush easily, and don’t enjoy making such mistakes…

Ah well, it doesn’t matter in the long run, I suppose. Whether it is one, or the other, really shouldn’t matter to me; as a writer, I should be able to use it either way. But, I’m a stubborn old cuss, if nothing else, and I insist on knowing beforehand exactly who it is I am defiling, or exactly what weapon I’m using to cut through the bullshit to the core of meaning. It’s just a Ned-thing, you wouldn’t understand….

Four paragraphs of prattle isn’t too bad, especially on such short notice, so I guess we can call this a pearl, if just barely. I’m getting very close to 400 posts here on WP, and over a thousand pages of material have been created to fill those posts, so, as might be suspected, I am getting very short on material upon which  I haven’t previously expounded. Hence, fill-in material such as this, where I can waste a good three or four hundred words just fooling around, without ever approaching anything remotely important or relevant to our purpose. It’s a gift…..  🙂

Now, if you would please, sit down, remain silent, and no one will get hurt…. I don’t wish to harm anyone, but I will not be thwarted in my quest to finish this pearl on a dignified note. Just where that dignity is supposed to come from, I haven’t the foggiest notion, but, having done all I could possibly do to find some, I find myself stuck for an ending line.

Please, stop me! This damn pearl won’t let me finish. It keeps wandering from one non-concept to another, and dragging me along like a stupid dog. I guess I will have to resort to a hard re-boot. Here goes…..    Eureka! I have found it!  And I’m not giving it back….

Well, that was interesting….. a new method of wasting time and energy. As if I needed any more…. Ah well, c’est la vie! Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.




Even running amok requires proper attire….

Mmm, coffee…… coffee good. Want more….. there, that’s better. Focus now achieved, thanks to the life giver….. There are a lot of folks who don’t drink coffee. So they say….. I myself don’t believe it; they may hide it from everyone else, but I don’t believe that anyone in their right mind would deny themselves that morning shot, that moment of truth.

There is an instant every morning, right before I take the first sip, when I hate everything in the universe passionately; that hatred is immediately dismissed, eliminated completely and efficiently, as the benign jolt of divine caffeine strikes my bloodstream, and all is suddenly well with the world. That moment is highly addictive, leading as it does to a happier, more stable frame of mind, and I flat out disbelieve anyone who says they don’t like it, or can do without it once tried….

But, that’s okay, we’re all allowed a delusion or two, and if they want to insist on perpetuating such a lie, even such a white one, well, hey, it’s their karma, neh? As long as they don’t proselytize to me about it, or make any attempt to sell me something better, they can live…. Awfully big of me, I know, but I’m a nice guy most of the time, as long as I’m not crossed….. and even then, I’m very neat about my mayhem, and try to be accommodating by offering folks their preference as to landing spots, i.e. “Which wall would you prefer to fetch up against?”……

It is interesting to note that J.S. Bach wrote a Cantata to Coffee, complete with poetic text by a collaborator, in the early 1700’s, when Europe was first discovering the magical beans, and assimilating them into European culture, especially in Vienna, where some of the world’s finest coffees are brewed…. A noble bean indeed……

Now that we are completely off the track, let’s try to get back into Pearling mode, shall we? Without further distraction, we will now enter the world of deep knowledge known as the WWW; watch for the oysters, and try to spot the ones with pearls….

If you lie, you’ll cheat. And if you cheat, you’ll steal. — Smart Bee

Though there is no attribution for this statement, I regard it as a truism, having been demonstrated in reality uncountable times. Not only is it true, but has been adopted as the cultural definition of a required skill for politicians. If one can assume that the latter sentence is as true as the first, then both of the major political parties in this country are guilty of acting this out on the public stage.

Democrats, thanks to the President who had the unforgivable temerity to get caught lying, are generally regarded as being subject to this “stretching” of truth, but Republicans have the unique skill of uttering lies, with a completely straight face, then denying not only the lie, but the utterance itself. (Hence, G. Bush denying a statement from two years earlier, a statement that had been recorded…..)

It’s hard to say whether the other parties out there, the ones who never get elected (Libertarian, Independent, Socialist, etc.) are as devoted to this principle as are the major parties, but, if they wish to ever get elected, they’ll have to buy into it…. it seems the public demands that our politicians lie to us.

There certainly hasn’t been any evidence forthcoming that might indicate that the public WANTS to hear the truth…. no one is ever rewarded for telling it. Usually, a person who stands up to tell the truth is shouted down by the liars, who use all sorts of tried-and-true techniques to draw attention away from, or to de-legitimize, anyone who dares wax eloquently for the truth of any matter.

“Things true and evident must of necessity be recognized by those who would contradict them.” — Epictetus (c. 60 AD)

This is the worst part of the process of lying; those who do so in public CHOOSE to lie, deliberately. As well, it sometimes it seems as if the whole idea of truth is one that the common man ignores completely. It doesn’t seem to matter to him whether or not some talking head is telling him the truth…. all he cares about is that what is being said feeds into his own desire to be left alone, and doesn’t cost him any money, or thought, or extra work. If it meets those requirements, it is acceptable, and anything that doesn’t, anything that makes him think or sweat, becomes an object of dislike, and even hatred….

How many of the men who went after Clinton for his Oval Office BJ’s were doing so because they wished it could have been them? A lot, I’d say…. Many more than the number who actually cared at all (most of the entire European continent still remains confused about why that whole thing happened, as in their cultures, sexual affairs are not considered inappropriate behavior for public figures….) , and far, far more than those who actually cared about the truth of the matter…. Ah well, all one can do is SIGH……

“We would like to apologize for the way in which politicians are represented in this programme.  It was never our intention to imply that politicians are weak-kneed, political time-servers who are more concerned with their personal vendettas and private power struggles than the problems of government, nor to suggest at any point that they sacrifice their credibility by denying free debate on vital matters in the mistaken impression that party unity comes before the well-being of the people they supposedly represent, nor to imply at any stage that they are squabbling little toadies without an ounce of concern for the vital social problems of today.  Nor indeed do we intend that viewers should consider them as crabby ulcerous little self-seeking vermin with furry legs and an excessive addiction to alcohol and certain explicit sexual practices which some people might find offensive.  We are sorry if this impression has come across.” — Monty Python

In truth, I have to say, sorry, I’m not sorry, and this is exactly the impression I’m trying to give you….. I wouldn’t want to lie to you, now would I?…..

“I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.” — Alan Watts

One of the less comfortable aspects of having a lot of time to think is just that…. having a lot of time to think. Since there is a lot more past to remember than there is present to think of, our minds linger in that unforgotten but never recoverable time. It is all there, the good, the bad, the ugly, and it can be a tricky task to keep from becoming maudlin when one lingers too long in the past, too easily turning to regret, and that is as useless as it is painful, in the long run.

At my age, the future is, of course, an uncertain, yet delightful unknown, so the present becomes, as Alan observed, all there is. And regret in the present is foolish, for there is no solution to it, other than resolve to change whatever produced it in the first place.

This was driven home to me this morning (whatever morning it is…. they’re all sort of blurred together….) when I opened the door outside for the first time. I was a bit under the weather, and full of the angst the above serious inner debate had brought. The sheer beauty of the sky, and the light, and the colors of the grass and buildings, all overwhelmed and made insignificant whatever burdens I had been carrying. I took a deep breath of air, stretched a bit in the sunshine, and felt a new man emerging….

Why you look so sad when the sky is perfect blue? — Smart Bee

When this popped up before me, after experiencing the jolt of universal connection I just described, I realized that the entire experience felt even better when I look at it as a lesson…. When I had opened the door, the Universe had seized my perceptions, and forced me to exist only in that moment, absorbing the visual, auditory, and olfactory stimuli, and the feelings those produced in me, creating a form of experiential gestalt of Now that I would never forget, no matter how far from Now I may find myself…… I have no doubt it will come in handy at some point….    🙂  

But I’ll settle for what I have Now….. for Now….

“I cannot here avoid giving my most decided suffrage in favour of the moral qualities of maniacs.  I have no where met, excepting in romances, with fonder husbands, more affectionate parents, more impassioned … than in the lunatic asylum, during their intervals of calmness and reason.” — Philippe Pinel, ‘Treatise on Insanity’ 1801

Mssr. Pinel relates an interesting observation here, one that parallels my own experience with those who struggle with mental illnesses. The only difference between us is that he is surprised by this observation, while I am not. I observed mentally ill folks for many years, and have come to the conclusion that those who suffer from long periods of insanity have an intense, strong attachment to those types of feelings that give them relief from that mind-storm, much more so than the “sane”, and love of family certainly tops the list of effective sources for those feelings.

Those who have only periodic forays into the world of sanity tend to appreciate those times most avidly, as they are often few and far between, and offer them the only moments of peace that can be found in their all-too-active inner lives. I believe it is this appreciation that drives them to love so strongly, to give so much to those they love when they are feeling well. They are aware, if only peripherally, that their time with those they love is limited, and they make their best efforts to show what they truly feel.

Those who are considered sane, I have found, tend to take such feelings for granted; this is one reason that there are so many divorces in modern life, as people don’t seem to want to do the work that is necessary to maintain a relationship. In this sense, their feelings are less important to them, or at least less in their attention, and they suffer the consequences that follow as certainly as a sunrise.

In fact, relationships are not the only area that so-called sane people could learn valuable lessons by copying what insane folks do. I’ve found that a lot of folks who can’t handle reality very well are very good artists, and studying their techniques and mind-sets can be a tool of some value for other artists, who don’t necessarily suffer from insanity. This is true even though a lot of artists are accused of it because of their art, and what it makes them do….. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, “he’s not insane, he’s an artist….”   That’s me all over…..   🙂

“Insanity — a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.” — R. D. Lang  ( R.D. Lang was a psychiatrist who lived in the twentieth century, and wrote a lot of material on mental health, in individuals and society. I like this statement, as it is a perfect representation of reality.)

A Lecture Upon The Shadow

Stand still, and I will read to thee
A lecture, love, in love’s philosophy.
These three hours that we have spent,
Walking here, two shadows went
Along with us, which we ourselves produc’d.
But, now the sun is just above our head,
We do those shadows tread,
And to brave clearness all things are reduc’d.
So whilst our infant loves did grow,
Disguises did, and shadows, flow
From us, and our cares; but now ’tis not so.
That love has not attain’d the high’st degree,
Which is still diligent lest others see.

Except our loves at this noon stay,
We shall new shadows make the other way.
As the first were made to blind
Others, these which come behind
Will work upon ourselves, and blind our eyes.
If our loves faint, and westwardly decline,
To me thou, falsely, thine,
And I to thee mine actions shall disguise.
The morning shadows wear away,
But these grow longer all the day;
But oh, love’s day is short, if love decay.
Love is a growing, or full constant light,
And his first minute, after noon, is night.

John Donne

No worries…. morning poetry break…. enjoy!….

We all do some of our best thinking in places that otherwise might not be considered particularly conducive to deep, complex subjects; serendipity comes where it may, though…. and it just occurred to me, in another room that shall be nameless for the sake of delicacy, why I’ve been struggling so hard of late to produce these Pearls.

Over the last few weeks, it seems as if quotes/pearls are hiding from me. It’s been taking me up to three hours a day just to find five pearls worthy of being explored in writing. Very frustrating, even though I read so fast I can cover literally thousands of quotes in an hour…..

What occurred to me is that one of the things that makes me what/who I am is reading books. At the age of 10, due to circumstances beyond my control, I was put in a situation where reading was just about the only form of entertainment available. So, I read, and practice, practice, practice pushed my reading speed up to a point where I could actually read as fast as my mind could absorb the material.

This works out to about 1200 words/minute, basic speed. Deeply complex material, of course, slows it down, and light material allows it to run free, but on average, that number is about right. It works out that it is a perfect speed for consuming one 250-300 page book in one day.

So, I did. I started reading a book a day, and the habit became not merely fixed, but unbreakable. If I go too long without reading, I get physically ill, seriously. Headaches, malaise, distraction, all are caused by not reading enough, and are cured by just a few minutes spent in a novel I’m currently absorbing.

Just letting my eyes work their way over the “words in a line” is soothing; any words will do… cereal boxes, magazines, comics, anything, but a book is best. My mind NEEDS the stimulation that taking in the concepts, ideas, and stories that a book supplies; it’s like breathing to me, I don’t feel right when its smooth functioning is interrupted, and I’ll do almost anything to put it back to rights…..

Thanks, however, to the lasting effects of PTSD, I’ve been unable to concentrate long enough to sit and read. It has been hard, as well, to sublimate by visiting my co-blogger’s sites to read what they are thinking about. And this inability to read sufficiently is what is behind all my difficulties here…. For me, this is an epiphany, for it is a problem with a simple, sustainable solution, easily and immediately applicable.

All I have to do is set aside more time to read, and use a bit of tough-self-love…. I’ll tell myself whatever I need to in order to sit and finish a few books (which, of course, I’ve already got lined up…. it’s not like I haven’t thought of reading, just haven’t dug in to do it….), and all dysfunctional habits, or at least the underlying cause, will disappear like the illusions they really are….

This also, in short order, should act as a spur toward being able to read more blogs, which will be good, too. I’ve been feeling some guilt, something I almost never give in to, because I’ve been unable to get to a lot of sites where I’ve become attached to the authors and their work…. But, I’ve been instructed by at least one of them that I am not to feel guilty, so I won’t. I’ll just be glad I can get back to reading some of them….   and back to eating, er, reading, a book a day….

There is something to be said, I guess, for falling asleep at 6 PM and sleeping straight through to 4 AM. This process went much more smoothly this morning, after a couple of rough starts. More proof that “sleep is a weapon”, no doubt…..

As usual, after a good effort, I’m a bit let down, not yet having finished the technical aspects of publishing, but done with the creative part. Good practice for learning to enjoy even the negative experiences in life, if only for being the precursors to all the good…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.