Tag Archives: Religion

Down the slalom with the Elven King….

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Ffolkes,

Please Note: Any mental functions attempted in this area must be re-evaluated during a subsequent period. It has been discovered that standard logic works sideways in this area due to the influence of the occupant. — Smart Bee

Since this is mostly true, I decided it should be included today, before starting, with the addendum of this: logic may not only work sideways in this space, it may be wrestled to the floor and tormented beforehand, in order to keep it in the properly reserved state of activity. It is a useful tool, but tends to get pushy, and start to think it is infallible, so it must be firmly conditioned to rein itself in at the first sign of any such usurpation. Just thought you should know, so you don’t accidentally cut yourself on Occam’s Razor, which has a tendency to show itself at unexpected moments….   🙂

In this paragraph, you will find this morning’s real beginning…. The above was written last night, as that is when I found the disclaimer; it’s still the right opening for today, but, I thought I’d create a bit of early confusion, and reverse polarity, thereby switching the North pole gravitational pull to the South pole, and vice versa. Of course, the two pull gradients are identical, so you can’t tell the difference without instruments, but, hey, I’ll know….

Well, it’s obvious to me, if not to y’all, that I’ve gone ’round the bend. The waiting has finally tipped me over the edge into insanity, and now I’ve got y’all worried and upset. That may be because now you’re wondering how that will affect the Pearl(s)…… Have no fears, dears. It shouldn’t show at all…. I”m always insane, so there won’t be any significant changes to the tone or the depth of the material I produce. Hah!  Fooled ya!…..

As you can also see, I’m resorting to cliches and old methods of distraction, to try to force your minds into the mold necessary for today’s journey into the bizarre corners of gigoid’s brain. It may seem like a cheap imitation, or like I’m disrespecting y’all, but, believe me, it is for your own protection. These old methods are very stable, and help to form a protective layer around you, of a material that is the opposite of bozone, so you are safe from flying weirdnesses and random enthusiasms…. Bozone? Oh…. here’s the definition….

Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. — Smart Bee

As the dedicated scientist I am, I developed an opposite substance to the bozone, one that enhances one’s ability to absorb bright ideas, and I use it freely around here, when needed. Today, it is certainly needed, as the weird and strange are falling like rain, and my own head is firmly entrenched in some sort of odd state where nothing is real for long, and only a constant prattle will stave off the bad things that can happen. Not that prattle is unknown here….

I guess I’ve probably scared y’all enough, and we should get on with the normal (hah!) state of affairs here on ECR. Upon looking above, I KNOW it is time to get on with it…. Shall we Pearl?….
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20. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

— Instructions for life

Smart Bee puts out these little instructions every once in a while, and most of them are pretty good ideas. Both of these strike a chord in me that harmonizes with my own experience, so they make a good little start for this section, and a cogent, potentially productive pearl…..

One of the first of these I saw was Instruction #1, which reads, “Always give more than is expected, and do it cheerfully!” Now, if that isn’t good advice for success in living, I don’t know what is. It is something my own parents taught me and my siblings without ever saying a word about it. Some people in life know these rules, but many don’t; I was fortunate, as my folks did. This little piece of advice is what pushed me to become a good student, to learn all I could in school, and it is the most useful tool for school that I know of, for it provides a reason, and a method, to seek and achieve excellence in school, or anywhere, for that matter.

#20 above is a concept, and a  habit, my father made clear his entire life, and he passed that philosophy on to his sons, for sure. (I can’t speak so much for my sisters…. one left home when I was six to marry, so I’ve never known her well, and the other became estranged many years ago, for many sad reasons….) I can’t speak for my brothers, even though I know they got the message, but this particular little idea has helped me countless times in my life, both to minimize the effects of a mistake, and to repair those effects. It is also a technique that other people note in us, one that increases trust and goodwill. One can’t possibly have too many ways to do that….

#21 This one is subtle, but effective. What it says is absolutely true; the caller will know when you smile, and I would guess that in 99% of all calls, the caller will immediately return the smile, as well as soften whatever tone they intended to use. I’ve actually seen it happen to others when speaking on the phone; you can tell when the other end is a happy person, as the one they are speaking to lights up in turn, eyes widening, lips curling, and words becoming more lighthearted. I’ve also experienced the feeling of hearing someone smile at me over the phone, and let me tell you, nothing feels better, especially if the person you call is important to you….

I could spend a long time laying out the ways these rules can help one achieve the kind of serenity in life that we all seek, but, they are really just as effective just by themselves, without any enhancement (if one could describe what I say as such….), so I’ll leave it here. As Smart Bee reveals more of these little gems, I’ll share them, because they are good to have handy…..

Listen to the MUSTN’TS child,
Listen to the DON’TS
Listen to the SHOULDN’TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVE’S
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

— Shel Silverstein
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If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again
I shall not live in vain.

~~ Emily Dickinson

Yesterday, at the library, I found a book of the collected works of Emily Dickinson, and I am in heaven! For the next few weeks, I’ll be picking out the best of what I find there to share. I regard Emily as arguably the best poet that ever lived, and can only feel happy that she left 1775 verses of what she termed her “letter to the world”. Already, I’ve been impressed and astonished all over again by the depth of insight she possessed, and by the simple clarity of her poems, and look forward to reading every one of those poems before returning the book…. Hopefully, you will appreciate what I share with you as much as I do…. except for Shawna, who can’t get into Emily…. S’okay Shawna, I’ll have other stuff, too…. Enjoy!….
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One day a gate breaks down between heaven and hell. So St. Peter arrives on the scene and calls out for the devil.

And the devil saunters over and says, “What do you want?”

And St. Peter says, “Satan, it’s your turn to fix it this time.”

And the devil says, “I’m sorry. But my men are too busy to worry about fixing a mere gate.”

And St. Peter says, “Well, then, I’ll have to sue you for breaking our agreement.”

And the devil says, “Oh yeah? Where are you going to get a lawyer?”

— Soupy Sales

It occurs to me, Soapy’s next line from St. Peter would have to be…. “I don’t need one, I’ve got a fix in with the judge….”  That would give not only balance to the argument, but would accurately reflect the actual level of corruption implied in the picture of the universe painted by the Judeo-Christian model of religion. It would also probably more closely reflect Soapy’s sense of humor, which was much more pointed than he got credit for…. People just thought he was a little strange sometimes, not recognizing lines that were making active fun of the establishment (as we old hippies were wont to call the mainstream of American society…..).

In reality, this joke is another example of the bad press that the Devil always gets; it isn’t often you’ll see a joke that ends up with Satan coming out on top. No, he is always given the role of the asshole, the manipulator, the one who wants to drag us down into Hell for eternal torment. Everyone seems to forget that they have ascribed omnipotence, and omniscience to God, and that He is the one who a) made the Devil the way he is, and b) could change it if he wished…. which seems to indicate that he DOESN’T wish to rid us of Satan, but prefers he be around to tempt and distract us…. That sounds to me like just a bit of manipulation in itself; how ’bout y’all?….

The preachers would have us believe that God allows Satan to exist out of his sheer benevolence, forgetting this is the same God who, in the Old Testament, sent forty bears to a town to kill all the children, just because a few small boys made fun of one of His prophets. He is also the one who threw Satan out of Heaven for objecting to some of what He had done on Earth, then turned around and allowed him free access to us humans, just so He would have a ready-made way to test us at His convenience. Just a little self-serving, don’t you think? This God, to my way of thinking, acts more like a spoiled little kid than a deity capable of creating universes…..

Okay, I’ll quit now. It’s really too easy to shoot at dogma; it never tries to hide, and just stands there, looking dumb, as you sight in on its forehead. But, hey, it’s a necessary job, and somebody’s got to do it…. Boy, it sure would be nice, though, to see humanity grow up, and learn to face reality without crutches, and without having to invent a supernatural being to explain away the stuff that isn’t clearly understood…. But, I guess it is job security, in that sense, because it means I’ll always have something about which to write….

“I’m RELIGIOUS!!  I love a man with a HAIRPIECE!! Equip me with MISSILES!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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I was right to give warning in the intro…. without it, this could conceivably create some serious psychopathy among the readership, and who knows how many lawsuits? Thank goodness for disclaimers, eh? All in all, I’m happy with it, though. If nothing else, it shares the primary characteristic of any good Pearl, to wit: it is done. Caveat emptor, as they say…. whatever that means. I’m heading off into the Big Blue Room in a while, so I’ll leave this now, and hope it flies as well as it crawls….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Forgetting to neglect the silliness factor….

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Ffolkes,
Lonely moments pass by, searching for companions with whom to travel their solitary road. But the bark of the aardvark sets them free, if only for the last time, and nobody seems to really even care. As the stores roll down their riot bars, the music plays on at the cantina, where the billycan boys gathered at noon to roast their geese, and take tea. With full intentions of grand exposure, those favored old engineers have quietly folded all the chairs, and put them in the rectory hall for safekeeping. Sadly, the nuptials were taking place, and had to re-water the plants, of course. At just that moment, reality intrudes, and the words, once flowing freely, stutter to a stop…..

And thank goodness they have….. I thought I’d never get out of there. In looking back over this paragraph, it reminds me of conversations I used to have with a couple of friends when we were in our college years. Tom and I, and Mark, and occasionally Johnny P., would all go into a Denny’s, or other local coffee shop, and start up a conversation that was as far from reality as we could make it. Nonsense statements, odd phrases, and just plain weirdness is what we were shooting for, and we got pretty good at it…. We also got run out of more than one coffee shop by irritated waitresses, but, hey, we were young and full of high spirits, if not tact…..

Well, today’s Pearl should prove to be interesting, if for no other reason than going in the direction indicated in the opening lines. I have a feeling that such strangeness has not finished manifesting today, and that we’ll see it’s like elsewhere in the process…. which is fine with me. I’m quite familiar, and comfortable with spending time outside the normal bounds of reality, having begun my explorations into that unknown territory while in my teens, and continuing my researches well into adulthood. Now, of course, I spend about half my time outside reality, looking in, wondering why I bother going back there at all….

Such is the life of a man in limbo…. I spend my time twisting reality to suit my needs, which allows me to avoid those parts of it that are painful and liable to increase my angst. Of course, reality, being what it is, rarely cooperates fully, so it’s all pretty much fooling myself. But, it seems to work, or at least, has worked so far, as here I am, still alive, fairly sane, and I haven’t killed any bureaucrats yet, in spite of the almost overwhelming urge to go down to the SS office and start firing away with my non-existent guns…..

Actually, when I wrote that phrase just now, I got this great mental image of myself, armed with a Super-Soaker 5000, standing in a room full of cubicles, spraying and soaking all the myrmidons until the dripping-wet look was the style of the day…. I feel better now….. Funny, isn’t it, how such a simple thing can do that? SIGH….

Well, I’ve wasted about as much time here in the intro as I can safely waste…. I’ll still be here at lunch time if I don’t get started on today’s dive for pearls. But, I guess if I’ve got the time to spend on crap like this, a bit longer to find some attractive oysters can’t hurt….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Free enterprise ended in the United States a good many years ago. Big oil, big steel, big agriculture avoid the open marketplace. Big corporations fix prices among themselves and drive out the small entrepreneur. In their conglomerate forms, the huge corporations have begun to challenge the legitimacy of the state.” — Gore Vidal

In his book, “Friday”, Robert Heinlein details a society of humanity’s possible future, one in which corporations have continued to grow beyond the boundaries of mere countries, until their interests become paramount even over that of the state, as observed by Mr. Vidal. We, of the society here on Earth in the early 21st century are witnessing that growth, as I write, and as you read…..

The small enterprise markets still exist, but only on the fringes of the economy, the major portion of which is busy manipulating the population into serving the economic trends that the corporations control, in the essential markets that cover everyone… In other words, the corporations monopolize most of the economy, allowing the fringe markets to exist to provide exotic, alternative toys and entertainments for the working classes.

Mr. Heinlein’s character, a young woman with designer genes, genius IQ, and Heinlein’s innate sardonicism, as part of an assignment, is required to perform a research and analysis of how the corporations affected the political and economic scenes of their society, obliquely referring, of course, to the one we have now. It is a very interesting part of a very good book, and well worth a read, not only for its perspicacity in explaining the piracy we are seeing today, but because Heinlein was a master storyteller, who created fascinating characters in  fantastic situations, making it all seem perfectly normal and real.

“The phenomenality of organic, conscious existence should, could have made impossible the sadism, the unending hurt of our ways. The impotent fury, the guilt that master and surpass my identity carry with them the working hypothesis, the ‘working metaphor’, if you will, of ‘original sin’. To this expression, I am unable to attach any reasoned, let alone historical substance. On the pragmatic-narratological plane, stories of some initial crime and inherited culpability are universal fables  — uncannily profound and lasting. Nothing more. Yet in the presence of the beaten, raped child, of the horse or mule flogged across its eyes, I am possessed, as by a midnight clarity, by the intuition of the Fall.” — Rudolf Steiner, Errata: An examined life, Phoenix — (a division of Orion Books), London, 1998), p. 169

At first, this quote may not seem to be related to the first. However, it is this “original sin” of which he speaks that is the root cause of the problems with corporations in society. Those humans who reject commonality with the rest of humanity are the villains in this play that passes for modern culture, for they do not accept their debt to the rest of the species, and have determined that they will use whatever means they need to become ascendant over the rest of us. Greed is only the most obvious of the ills that this group has subjected our culture to, with cruelty, dishonesty, and lack of compassion as side attractions. Through the actions of their corporate entities, they work to maintain their power and control of others, all for the sake of their own aggrandizement….

These are the men who run the trade in human trafficking, abducting and abusing children and women, for sex and slavery. These are the men who run the brothels, and the underground casinos, and the money-lending, and the protection rackets, and the drug dealing rings. What many folks don’t realize is that they are also the men who run for political office, or become preachers/priests, and the bankers, and the CEO’s,  and other corporate officers, who make their decisions based on self-interest, never on altruism. They seem, and act like, they are the leaders of society, when, in fact, they are the very reason our society is headed for extinction….

Unfortunately, these men (and they are almost ALL men….) will not give up their power and control without a fight. They will not respond to reason, giving up all their wealth and perceived power, to benefit the rest of mankind. They will not suddenly see the light, and give it all back. They will have to be rooted out like weeds, tough, hardy weeds, and destroyed, if we are to have any chance of survival…. It is unfortunate, but no other method will work, and it brings with it the danger of falling into the same kind of behavior by which they operate. But, I can see no other way to solve the issue, since they will not cooperate with the rest of us for the benefit of all….

1. If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting.

2. What you settle for is what you end up with.

3. If you think that worrying about a problem is the same thing as solving it, then you must live in some other universe where different laws pertain.

–Smart Bee
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A Draught Of Sunshine

Hence Burgundy, Claret, and Port,
Away with old Hock and madeira,
Too earthly ye are for my sport;
There’s a beverage brighter and clearer.
Instead of a pitiful rummer,
My wine overbrims a whole summer;
My bowl is the sky,
And I drink at my eye,
Till I feel in the brain
A Delphian pain –
Then follow, my Caius! then follow:
On the green of the hill
We will drink our fill
Of golden sunshine,
Till our brains intertwine
With the glory and grace of Apollo!
God of the Meridian,
And of the East and West,
To thee my soul is flown,
And my body is earthward press’d. –
It is an awful mission,
A terrible division;
And leaves a gulph austere
To be fill’d with worldly fear.
Aye, when the soul is fled
To high above our head,
Affrighted do we gaze
After its airy maze,
As doth a mother wild,
When her young infant child
Is in an eagle’s claws –
And is not this the cause
Of madness? – God of Song,
Thou bearest me along
Through sights I scarce can bear:
O let me, let me share
With the hot lyre and thee,
The staid Philosophy.
Temper my lonely hours,
And let me see thy bowers
More unalarm’d!

John Keats

I know, a lot of Keats lately, but, hey, if you’re gonna go with somebody else’s work, why not use the best?…..
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So, I’m diving around, looking for oysters, and these random quotes on various aspects of religion kept popping up. Since I’m not particularly bursting with material or angst sufficient to either rant or write much of interest, I thought I’d string them together for an old school pearl…. my default position in these instances. There is no real point to be made here, though it may be entirely possible that there is one…. I just like these because they made me think…. and hopefully, they will do the same for you…. enjoy!….

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher.     He would either be a lunatic–on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg–or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.” — C. S. Lewis

We are arguing like a man who should say “If there were an invisible cat in that chair, the chair would look empty; but the chair does look empty; therefore there is an invisible cat in it.” — C.S. Lewis

“A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.” — James Feibleman, “Understanding Philosophy”, 1973

“While it cannot be proved retrospectively that any experience of possession, conversion, revelation, or divine ecstasy was merely an epileptic discharge, we must ask how one differentiates “real transcendence” from neuropathies that produce the same extreme realness, profundity, ineffability, and sense of cosmic unity.  When accounts of sudden religious conversions in TLEs [temporal-lobe epileptics] are laid alongside the epiphanous revelations of the religious tradition, the parallels are striking.  The same is true of the recent spate of alleged UFO abductees. Parsimony alone argues against invoking spirits, demons, or extraterrestrials when natural causes will suffice.” — Barry L. Beyerstein, “Neuropathology and the Legacy of Spiritual Possession”,   The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII, No. 3, pg. 255

“Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens.” — Michael de Montaigne (1533-1592) — Essays, Book ii, Chap. xii, Apology for Raimond Sebond

“…there can be no public or private virtue unless the foundation of action is the practice of truth.” — George Jacob Holyoake

No, it isn’t a trick…. The last one was, indeed, added on purpose, and actually brings all the rest into focus, making what I said above about this pearl having no point a lie…. or perhaps, premature ejaculation would be more appropriate….. Whatever it is, or might have been, or isn’t, it is what it is, so there…. And, believe it or not, it actually makes some sense, on a very basic level…. Any who, it was a few moments of exercising a muscle we all need to keep strong, so, all is well that ends well, yes?….. And, at the very least, you may comfort yourself with knowing it is ended….
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I was correct in my earlier assessment as to the strangeness that could conceivably manifest itself today, but, examination reveals nothing that is toxic, or particularly offensive. A shame really, as I’ve heard it said that, if what you write doesn’t offend SOMEONE, you’re doing it wrong….. Don’t know for sure how right that is, but I’ve always tried to live up to it. This one isn’t too bad, all in all, so it’s going out, just like the rest of them have gone, naked and alone…. We’ll see how it fares….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Save it all until the final tally…..

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Ffolkes,
One more down, for the count, and one more on deck for full waiting modality. Each day that passes without hearing from Social Security adds just a bit more fuel to the already huge pile of it waiting to ignite my ire into a full-fledged tirade. Actually, I’m not sure what is keeping it from setting itself off, as I have more than enough anger built up to supply the necessary heat.

I know I’m dealing with a federal/state agency (it’s a weird system…. apparently the state has an agency that decides for the federal government who is and who is not disabled, according to some arcane set of standards, none of which are known to the public. This agency claims it is so busy, it is 140+ days behind in its work, and continuing to fall further behind each day….), but it really shouldn’t be an automatic assumption that they are inefficient, even if they are. And, they are…. extremely…..

This may have to do, of course, with their incredible lack of efficiency at almost every level in the department. I was told, on the 14th of October, that the submitted reports on my functioning level had been sent to doctors for their review, but that any decision would be held until receiving the psyche report from the psychologist they sent me to on November 8. Well, that was done, and according to the psychologist, they have had his report now for at least two and a half weeks; it was the last one they were waiting on before making a decision. Well, no decision thus far, and no answer, apparently, since I asked my lawyer’s office to call them and request a time frame. It is getting close to my wanting to take some personal action…. SIGH…. I am a patient man, but they are testing that patience to the extreme…..

Ah well, I suppose I’d best find some other form of recreation for the day, as a rant against SS is not only futile, but somewhat nauseating to write, as it creates bile having to just keep their characteristics in mind, and the longer one rants, the more sick one feels, not from the work, but from having to deal with SS at all. For an agency that is supposed to take care of senior citizens, it certainly puts them through a lot of shit. I’ll leave it at that for the time being, and try to refocus on something else….

How about the weather, eh? Pretty confusing, to say the least…. Summer weather all the way through November, then deep winter weather pattern, skipping past autumn completely. The leaves are beautiful in their colors, finally, while the weather itself has turned cold and wet, common for February, not necessarily November/December, though we do get some rain in the fall some years. Just not like this, one storm after another, in a very winter-like pattern.

It all goes to show that all the shouting and worry about global warming is not a false alarm, as weather patterns all over the world are showing signs of breaking down the old stable, predictable patterns, and showing veritable waves of unusual events. It is only going to get stranger, ffolkes, so you may as well gird your grids for a big one….

Okay, we’ve touched all the salient points that are required in an intro, and probably went way too far, again…. Oh, well…. Such is life, or as the French are fond of saying, c’est la vie, which, translated precisely, means, “such is life”….    🙂     Shall we Pearl?…..
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Where will you spend eternity? Heaven or Hell? — found in Smart Bee, most likely copied from some Christian Sunday School lesson, or perhaps some preacher’s sermon…. And, definitely used as an opening line by any number of sidewalk preachers….

This will be a relatively short pearl, just to take a moment to point out the kind of insidious manipulation that is the common habit of most preachers (as previously defined….). First, let’s examine the first sentence…. Where will you spend eternity?  Eternity? Eternity? Who mentioned eternity? Actually, I had no intention of going there at all, so asking me this question is rather silly to begin with. Eternity is a very, very long time, and I’m not sure I really want to spend my time sitting there, in either of the given choices…. Moreover, who says that, a) I’m going there, or b) you’re going there, or c) we have to decide? I didn’t see that in my manual…..

So, they want to know where I’ll spend eternity…. as if it is their business what I do. Even if it were any of their business, why should I answer? Is it mandatory now to suffer fools? I don’t get these people who insist on proselytizing their religions. They seem to believe that their piety, or their status as believers, gives them the right to throw out all standards of public politeness, and act as if they are entitled to accost anyone they choose, to demand answers to ridiculously biased questions, and generally make nuisances of themselves. As if it isn’t rude enough to try to engage perfect strangers in order to manipulate them, they also will solicit money or time for their cause, showing no sense of shame whatsoever…..

If they are insistent enough to badger us into engaging with them with their intrusive questions regarding their beliefs, (which is the point…. they aren’t interested in YOUR beliefs at all, they only want to force theirs onto you….), then you get hit with the second part…. Heaven, or Hell…. I have to admit, sometimes, just for fun, I tell them the truth…. that I’d much rather spend the time in Hell, where all the independent ffolkes with a measurable sense of humor go to spend eternity, than to have to spend that amount of time listening to their prattle and carrying on about how grand things are in Heaven… what a massive bore!…. Of course, I tell them, that is assuming there is any truth at all to the proposition that going to either place is really what happens, something for which there is no evidence at all….

Smart Bee shows me a quote occasionally that says “If I had property in Texas and in Hell, I’d probably live in Hell, and rent the place in Texas.”, but I forget who said it. Nevertheless, it is closer to what I feel than any other quote I’ve found on this particular subject. I know this will come as a bit of a disappointment to my older relatives, (those valiant few that remain….) and any Christians who are my friends (there ARE some who aren’t entirely hidebound….), but, they’re used to me by now. For any others who may find these comments to be offensive, well, oops, too bad, so sad….. Around here we deal only in the truth, (as I perceive it…. it’s only fair, since it’s my blog…..) and we don’t worry a lot about where the chips may fall….

The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: “Of course it is none of my business but–” is to place a period after the word “but.” Don’t use excessive force in supplying such moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.  — Lazarus Long
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Ode To Psyche

O Goddess! hear these tuneless numbers, wrung
By sweet enforcement and remembrance dear,
And pardon that thy secrets should be sung
Even into thine own soft-conched ear:
Surely I dreamt to-day, or did I see
The winged Psyche with awaken’d eyes?
I wander’d in a forest thoughtlessly,
And, on the sudden, fainting with surprise,
Saw two fair creatures, couched side by side
In deepest grass, beneath the whisp’ring roof
Of leaves and trembled blossoms, where there ran
A brooklet, scarce espied:

Mid hush’d, cool-rooted flowers, fragrant-eyed,
Blue, silver-white, and budded Tyrian,
They lay calm-breathing, on the bedded grass;
Their arms embraced, and their pinions too;
Their lips touch’d not, but had not bade adieu,
As if disjoined by soft-handed slumber,
And ready still past kisses to outnumber
At tender eye-dawn of aurorean love:
The winged boy I knew;
But who wast thou, O happy, happy dove?
His Psyche true!

O latest born and loveliest vision far
Of all Olympus’ faded hierarchy!
Fairer than Ph{oe}be’s sapphire-region’d star,
Or Vesper, amorous glow-worm of the sky;
Fairer than these, though temple thou hast none,
Nor altar heap’d with flowers;
Nor virgin-choir to make delicious moan
Upon the midnight hours;
No voice, no lute, no pipe, no incense sweet
From chain-swung censer teeming;
No shrine, no grove, no oracle, no heat
Of pale-mouth’d prophet dreaming.

O brightest! though too late for antique vows,
Too, too late for the fond believing lyre,
When holy were the haunted forest boughs,
Holy the air, the water, and the fire;
Yet even in these days so far retir’d
From happy pieties, thy lucent fans,
Fluttering among the faint Olympians,
I see, and sing, by my own eyes inspir’d.
So let me be thy choir, and make a moan
Upon the midnight hours;
Thy voice, thy lute, thy pipe, thy incense sweet
From swinged censer teeming;
Thy shrine, thy grove, thy oracle, thy heat
Of pale-mouth’d prophet dreaming.

Yes, I will be thy priest, and build a fane
In some untrodden region of my mind,
Where branched thoughts, new grown with pleasant pain,
Instead of pines shall murmur in the wind:
Far, far around shall those dark-cluster’d trees
Fledge the wild-ridged mountains steep by steep;
And there by zephyrs, streams, and birds, and bees,
The moss-lain Dryads shall be lull’d to sleep;
And in the midst of this wide quietness
A rosy sanctuary will I dress
With the wreath’d trellis of a working brain,
With buds, and bells, and stars without a name,
With all the gardener Fancy e’er could feign,
Who breeding flowers, will never breed the same:
And there shall be for thee all soft delight
That shadowy thought can win,
A bright torch, and a casement ope at night,
To let the warm Love in!

John Keats
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“Love is that state where the happiness and well-being of another person is more important than your own.” — Robert A. Heinlein

There are some who say that love, ungiven, can wither and die. I don’t agree with that, unless they are speaking of a different kind of love than what I understand. What Bob Heinlein says above is as close a definition that I have ever seen, for a word that everyone seems to define differently, yet believe that they alone know its meaning, while still trying to share it with someone else. For me, true love, once given, never dies. It may become shriveled and old, if neglected or rejected, but it doesn’t die completely. Not in me, anyway…. and I’m the only one I can really speak for, aren’t I? Yes……

Another question that seems unanswered to anyone’s satisfaction is the one raised by Tom Robbins in his book, “Skinny Legs and All”, which asks, “How do you make Love stay?” Again, to me, this is a critical piece of information, and one that I’ve yet to find an answer to, outside the evidence of my own family and friends. With a woman, I have never been able to experience having one remain stable in the relationship, instead choosing to sever acquaintance at some point, and live their life without me. There are, of course, many reasons that could be ascribed for those occasions, but, in my perception, they all boil down to the fact that I was not the one who chose to end the relationship, and I didn’t know exactly what I’d done to cause the other person to choose as they did….

Sure, I can make guesses, but, mostly, after much consideration, I found that it came down to THEIR issues that made them choose their path, and it didn’t have anything to do with what I did, or didn’t do; that was merely the convenient excuse, and easier for them than admitting their own denial of feeling, or taking responsibility for their choice. In essence, they lied, to themselves, and to me. Which, it could be said, is all for the best for me, in the long run…. At least I don’t have to live with lies, as apparently I was for a long time…. Love really is blind, when it is real…

“I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.” — H. L. Mencken

By predisposition of nature, and by experience of my family life as a child, I believe in long-term, loving relationships, where each party is fully engaged in living their life in tandem with another, and has no doubts about that choice. I’ve witnessed many such, as well as the opposite, and don’t feel as if modern culture is such that it is no longer possible to maintain such a relationship; the only factor that matters in the end is the love that the two feel for each other, and what they are willing to do to keep that love, and to nurture its existence for as long as life endures.

Old as I am, I’m still looking for that kind of honest commitment, and have not given up hope of finding a woman who feels the same way….. I guess I should apply some of the skills at waiting that I’ve developed in my quest for SS benefits to the search for love…. and in some ways, I have, I’d say. I’m still here, and still looking, so that’s something, isn’t it?….

“The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool.” — George Santayana (1863-1952)
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I’m not sure how to take this one….. It seems okay, but…. I can’t seem to put my finger on it, but it doesn’t seem quite finished somehow. Ah well, I’ve been over it enough times now that I’m sure that whatever isn’t there will remain a mystery…. I can’t find it (logical, I suppose, as it isn’t there…. ). There seems to be enough to call it a Pearl, once the poem is in place, so I’m going to let if fly…. Stick a fork in me, I’m done…..   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

The only quest I know….

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1

Ffolkes,
There is always a lot of stuff going on in my head, and, in spite of how it should, or could be otherwise, I’m pretty sure that not all of it is completely under my control. This, as might be deduced, is both blessing and curse, and causes me no end of moments of temporary confusion, moments that can stretch to what seems like eons….. Hell, sometimes, it seems like confusion is my most natural state, especially when reality is going through its contortions right in front of me like it does; reality does not always conform to what I think of it, either regarding expectations, or expedience. Hard to say which is more annoying, having my expectations dashed by reality, or having my time killed by it, used up dealing with mundane details rather than exotic dreams, or even hopeful ones….. (Whew! A four line sentence, desperately trying not to run on, and failing spectacularly!…. Oh well…. I just got up, give me a little slack, here, ‘kay?….Or, just call me Balzac….)

If this all sounds a bit vague, you are paying attention, as it is deliberately so. I’m trying to discuss a point that can easily slip over into whining about how Murphy always f___s with me, without crossing the line of demarcation for that state of asininity. Whining feels good, right up until it leaves the mouth, then it is just pathetic, and the shame and guilt set in…. I really don’t know why we even bother with it, as it has no effect at all on reality, and only makes us look and feel bad. Another of those delightful human characteristics that we are constantly working to eradicate from our personalities, if we have any sense. Of course, the possession of sense is another discussion entirely, and would take up far too much space right now, so let’s not go there, eh?

To get back to our original point of discussion, not being entirely in control of what is happening in my head is a deliberate state on my part. I’ve found that a lot of my artistic impetus comes from that area of my experience, so I’ve developed the habit of allowing part of my consciousness free rein to go wherever it may wish, without any oversight by the tapes and rules that govern most of the rest of my persona. This is my version of allowing my imagination to soar, and it seems to work for me, so I don’t fuss with it, or think about it much, as I don’t want to disturb whatever balance and tension that keeps it running smoothly.

Below you’ll find a poem, an original I composed last night, under non-normal circumstances. It’s okay…. not the best I’ve ever done, but honest, and real in its intent and style. Oh, and, of course, it rhymes…. to me, that is important in one of my own poems these days. I spent a lot of effort in my youth writing free verse, with no structure, and no deliberate rhyming. Most of what I wrote back then was pretty sappy…. emotional, at times powerfully so, but lacking in direction, or a whole lot of style.

S’okay, I’m good with it, because nobody will ever see it again but me, and maybe my kids, when they go through my things after I pass (Oh for goodness sake, I hope they don’t try to publish any of it posthumously, I’d die of shame….   🙂   ….) Any who, this poem was written on the edge, as I was about two sheets to the wind, an unusual state these days, especially on a mere half-pint over the course of an hour and a half…. not exactly the consumption of a lumberjack, or even myself three years ago….. But, it was enough for my payday splurge for the month, and gave me a full three hours of wonderful relief from back pain (I’d forgotten how alcohol can do that…. it’s just not something one can use regularly, for a lot of reasons, but, occasionally, it sure provides a kind, and depth, of relief that is very rare for those of us who suffer constant pain….)

Any who, let’s see what else we can come up with here on an early Sunday morning, with the rain and wind blowing and blustering outside, making me glad to have a warm, dry place to stay, with food, and things to occupy my mind, and time. I am indeed a rich man, for all that I don’t have, that is to say, the worry of those who have no such advantages as these. It’s almost enough to make me rant, but I’ll wait until I find a pearl to base it on…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“There is one God, but which one is He?”– Smart Bee

Now, this is the proper use of reason and inquiry! Such a small question, made gargantuan by the depth of its insight. Which one, indeed, is the real God? There are as many answers to this question as there are what I like to call “preachers”, for want of a better word (I should maybe try to pick a better one, I suppose….); “preachers” are men, or women, who have decided upon one particular system of beliefs on the subject of divinity as being the correct one, to the exclusion of all the others. In spite of the lack of hard evidence on hand for any of the different belief systems, these folks choose one, and stick to it like a barnacle…. which, come to think of it, is probably what it feels like, after a while….

Depending on to whom the question is put, the answer may vary from Odin the All Father of Norse mythology, to the God of Zoroaster, whose specific appellation escapes me just now. In between you will find God, also known as Yahweh/Jehovah to the those of the Tribe, Allah to the Muslims, and just plain old God to most of the Christian sects. There is the voodoo god, Jobu, in the Caribbean; Set, or Bal, or Mammon, or any of the other ancient earth gods;  Ra of the Egyptians; Krishna, and all his incarnations, i.e., Kali, Yama, Ganesha, Maya, and the others in the Hindu pantheon. The American Indians seemed to favor the Great Spirit. Ancient Druids and Wiccans follow the Goddess, with gods and goddesses from the Greeks and Romans thrown into the mix, just for fun. The list seems as endless as human imagination….. which it is, since all of them spring from that source.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” — Smart Bee (and, most likely, the Dalai Lama….)

As far as I know, Buddha never claimed to be a god, and was, to my mind, not particularly clear on the subject of divinity, as directly related to humanity. The same seems true of Taoism, though certain of its sages seem to hold some of the old Chinese mythology beliefs on Heaven, and the creatures who inhabit that domain, another concept for which there is only imaginary evidence to support its veracity, and its reality. In this way, I see these philosophies as superior to the religious doctrines that purport to worship a deity, as they rely on reason, personal responsibility, and compassion to direct action, rather than fear of reprisal, or hope for reward, as is the wont of religious dogma and doctrine.

This perception of mine may be because I have always thought that the entire concept of a deity is not capable of being described, or understood, if one is to assume that a god is what it claims to be. How can a mortal understand an immortal? There is no common ground, other than the assumption of existence, for which there can be any reason for one to be connected to the other, as we could not comprehend their existence. We, limited to our human perceptions, have no direct evidence of a deity that can be experienced by those perceptions.

Anyone who tells you they do is lying, even if they believe it to be true, unless they can share that experience with another human, directly, with evidence for the senses we possess, not merely for what we wish to be true. Feelings don’t count, nor visions only seen by them, or voices in the head, and neither do personal revelations, or religious fevers, or speaking in tongues…. See, hear, touch, smell, taste…. that’s what we have, along with the ability to reason, and our imagination. That is our tool kit, and unless one of the tools fits, it isn’t real, to our perceptive ability. Items purported to be evidence that come from imagination are just that…. imaginary, and cannot be considered proof of anything other than the naivete of the speaker, and of any who choose to believe them.

“It is a great advantage for a system of philosophy to be substantially true.” — George Santayana

SIGH…. People are people, though, and they will choose what to believe according to what they feel, most of the time, rather than according to what is the truth, which requires effort to find. It has even been said that humans have a tendency more often than not to make choices that are bad for them, just for that reason, that it is too much effort to think their way through to the truth that would ultimately help them. As long as this is true, then our species is in danger, from itself, and its own delusions…. Sad, in a species of such promise…..

And on the 8th day, God woke up and said “Whew! It was just a dream!” — Smart Bee
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“Poetry is what gets lost in translation.” — Robert Frost

Placidly falling in amber waves: old friends

Whiskey, oh, whiskey, I’d forgotten thy balm,
thy loving spread of lassitude, and nature’s own calm.
Misery and pain flee in squalid disorganization,
leaving mirth, happily embraced, in just consolation.

James, old friend, thou has not abandoned me at all,
steadfast and loyal, ever ready to answer my softest call.
Ephemeral illusions of normality come at your instigation
blessed moments of peaceful joy, sans vilification.

Gasps of coherence pound at the door to conscious thought,
muffled explosive memories of battles already fought.
Malleable as the changeable airs of time and circumstance
plaintive calls to reason stand not a single, honest chance.

Sober again, reality’s cold reign brings a new day
ringing in old changes in a new-fashioned way.
To know true freedom’s release from our everyday pain
Is worth a bit of headache, even in the cold, pouring rain.

~~ gigoid, two sheets to the wind, and back

“You will find poetry nowhere, unless you bring some with you.” — Joseph Joubert
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If birth is a miracle, is not death also a miracle? — Smart Bee

Smart Bee is living up to its name today…. Here is a question that most will avoid asking…. Well, perhaps not so much avoid as ignore, by preference. Which amounts to the same, little as they’d like to admit it. It’s okay, though, nobody is blaming them, or suggesting they do anything other than what is comfortable…. Karma exists, like it or not, as the proper and logical counterbalance to entropy, giving it meaning, and everyone gets out of life exactly what they deserve. This is not an arguable conclusion, it is mere fact of reality, and fighting against it is pointless, as well as tiring…..

“You live in a deranged age, more deranged than usual, because in spite of great scientific and technological advances, man has not the faintest idea of who he is, what he is doing, or where he is going.”– Smart Bee

Everyone gets what they deserve….. what a novel concept! Of course, many folks, of the sort who don’t like to accept merely what they deserve, try to manipulate reality, and end up accumulating much more than they deserve. What they don’t understand is that time is not on their side, and karma will eventually come to them for an accounting, and all will be brought into balance, at their expense. It’s not a pretty sight when it happens, and it is so unnecessary, considering the consequences that can be avoided by simple acts of honor and integrity. Sometimes, living is a worse punishment than dying, in such cases….

Another lesser-known part of karma is one that most folks have a hard time both understanding, and, once they do, accepting. This principle is stated simply as: Not only are you 100% responsible for what you DO, you are 100% responsible for what happens TO you. Yep…. completely. If the world has punched you in the face, well, all I can ask is, what was your face doing in front of that fist? There are no excuses in the eyes of karma, and we become truly ourselves when we learn to understand this, and to make it a part of how we make decisions in life, including those leading up to the second miracle of our existence, dying.

“When the ten thousand things are seen in their oneness, we return to the source to remain where we have always been.” — Seng Ts’un.

In the ultimate sense, this goes back to the discussion in section one above, tying all of it together in this way: “the ten thousand things” is the Chinese literary euphemism for reality, or Heaven, or the universe at large, depending on who one asks at what time of day….. By this statement, Ts’un shows his knowledge, and acceptance of his own divinity, and connection, according to the principles of karma and how we interact with reality, to everything that exists in the universe, including all gods, or ideas about gods, or God. Take your pick, they are ALL correct, in their own little way, or according their own little piece of the Truth. What is actually TRUE for everyone always makes itself obvious…. because that is what happens. What is, is….

“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle. Some things are within your control. And some things are not.” — Epictetus
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I have to say, this one isn’t bad…. I’m not going to even question why it came out as well as it did, but will go with the flow of karma, and accept what is….. Unless I wish to wait until late this afternoon to post this, I will have to hike through the rain for a few blocks to get to the Wi-Fi spot at the coffee shop, which I believe will be the best way to go. I’m no tireless, invulnerable warrior like I used to be, but I think I can make it three blocks in the rain for this without suffering the tortures of hell. Unless, of course, pneumonia sets in…. Well, no point in tempting Murphy any more than that, so I’ll close this here, and hope for the best…. All I need is twenty minutes of cooperation from the rain gods, and all will be well…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

What’s a few platitudes among enemies?….

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Ffolkes,
It’s  been said, with good reason, that true freedom is the release from pain, and I am ready to go on record as willing to testify to that in a heart beat. Not all gone, of course, some degree of it is bound to be my constant, boon companion for the rest of my days, and I can live with that, albeit reluctantly. But, for the greatest part, my recent overload seems to have eased off enough to make life worth living again. SIGH, now if I can score a bowl of oatmeal, and my check hits the bank today, I’ll be a happy camper…..

Yay, me….. and enough about me. The last few days of pain and angst have been too self-oriented for me, too involved in personal drama for my spartan tastes in that department. Yet the pain grabs hold, and occupies the major part of one’s attention, until it fills the world, so it seems. Finding any objectivity becomes a struggle, and the perceptive world shrinks to include only the pain, and the struggle to get past it. When the fever breaks, so to speak, and the struggle lessens, the sense of relief is so great, it is actually greater than the pain, and the world almost seems to be in balance for the time being…..

“Pain is just nature’s way of telling you you’re alive.” — Smart Bee

So, I’ll take advantage, and use the time to try to write something more than just an intro, or an old-school pearl, with mostly quotes and a few comments. Who knows, maybe there’s a poem in there, waiting to come out…. We’ll see I guess…. I think I should get to it before my body decides I’ve had enough of a break, and gives me more BS to deal with….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Perhaps one of the only positive pieces of advice that I was ever given was that supplied by an old courtier who observed: “Only two rules really count: never miss an opportunity to relieve yourself; never miss a chance to rest your feet.” — Duke of Windsor

I would say the Duke was going for the cheap laugh here, and missed, slightly, but the old courtier knew something of life, for sure. Both rules are quite important to a life lived well, as they both offer techniques to keep one prepared for whatever life may present…. as well as offering advantages in life over those who do not use them….

First, think about NOT taking care of business when you can, and later having to deal with say, a bus ride over a road under construction; the pain would be excruciating, although the dancing one would be forced to exhibit would be, I’m sure, quite entertaining to others on the bus. Or, perhaps you find yourself meeting the Queen, who wants to discuss your latest book, for the next hour, while you stand there and dance in place, growing redder in the face by the moment… It’s a good rule…. Always take the time to be prepared, is what it can be boiled down to, and it isn’t just for Boy Scouts….

The second line is similar in its proactive nature, and in being prepared for action. Jim Brown was considered one of the greatest running backs in NFL history, setting records for almost every category of statistics for his position during his relatively short career (He played nine years, getting out without ever suffering a major injury…. an unusual accomplishment for NFL retirees…..). He claimed that one of the secrets for the consistent bruising power in his running style, and his apparent tirelessness at the end of games, had to do with his habit on the field, of resting completely between plays…. When he carried the ball, and was tackled, he did not spring up and run back to the huddle… He would lay on the ground for a couple of breaths, then slowly roll over onto his hands and knees, taking another breath or two in that position.  Only then would he push up onto his feet, whereupon he would WALK slowly back to the huddle, always getting there in plenty of time, but with his breath already under control, and his muscles relaxed, ready to run again.

Using ideas such as these to give oneself the advantage in a game is the same as in life. Foresight and preparation are as important as skill and dedication, and the intelligent use of available resources for maximum benefit is far more effective than merely reacting to perceived need. These are skills that, it seems, are more apparent to older ffolkes, as it is the kind of thing one learns over time, rather than as one illuminating lesson, sent down in a flash of thunder by the gods. Old folks know how to save energy, as we only have so much, and it wouldn’t do to run out right in the middle of a tango, now would it? No, it wouldn’t….  in fact, that would be quite embarrassing, and none of us old farts would ever be caught flubbing a tango….

“Whose undertakings are all devoid of desires and purpose, and whose actions have been burnt by fire-of-knowledge, him the wise call a sage.” — Gita, Chapter 4, Verse 19.
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I sat here, and opened up a couple veins, but, nothing has flowed out but random globules of greasy, grimy, gopher guts…. sorry, just a bit of adolescence left over…. No poem is forthcoming from my head, though, so we’ll have to go classic, or perhaps, exotic…. we’ll see what comes up when I get to Google…. Ah, perfect….

A Dog Has Died

My dog has died.
I buried him in the garden
next to a rusted old machine.

Some day I’ll join him right there,
but now he’s gone with his shaggy coat,
his bad manners and his cold nose,
and I, the materialist, who never believed
in any promised heaven in the sky
for any human being,
I believe in a heaven I’ll never enter.
Yes, I believe in a heaven for all dogdom
where my dog waits for my arrival
waving his fan-like tail in friendship.

Ai, I’ll not speak of sadness here on earth,
of having lost a companion
who was never servile.
His friendship for me, like that of a porcupine
withholding its authority,
was the friendship of a star, aloof,
with no more intimacy than was called for,
with no exaggerations:
he never climbed all over my clothes
filling me full of his hair or his mange,
he never rubbed up against my knee
like other dogs obsessed with sex.

No, my dog used to gaze at me,
paying me the attention I need,
the attention required
to make a vain person like me understand
that, being a dog, he was wasting time,
but, with those eyes so much purer than mine,
he’d keep on gazing at me
with a look that reserved for me alone
all his sweet and shaggy life,
always near me, never troubling me,
and asking nothing.

Ai, how many times have I envied his tail
as we walked together on the shores of the sea
in the lonely winter of Isla Negra
where the wintering birds filled the sky
and my hairy dog was jumping about
full of the voltage of the sea’s movement:
my wandering dog, sniffing away
with his golden tail held high,
face to face with the ocean’s spray.

Joyful, joyful, joyful,
as only dogs know how to be happy
with only the autonomy
of their shameless spirit.

There are no good-byes for my dog who has died,
and we don’t now and never did lie to each other.

So now he’s gone and I buried him,
and that’s all there is to it.

— Pablo Neruda

Translated, from the Spanish, by Alfred Yankauer
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“I’m having an emotional outburst!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“It’s the last one, I promise!” — gigoid

Repercussions, Part IV

Reality Considered As A Slippery Slope

“Yes! Living in today’s complex world of the future IS much like having a hive of bees live  in your head. But…..there they are!” – Firesign Theater.

Sometimes, in my more lucid moments of reflection, I wonder if everyone else ever feels like that. If they did, then maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much when I do, because a burden shared is a burden eased…. To this, I can personally attest…..

In the immediate aftermath of the events described in detail yesterday in Part III, I continued to work at NSH, on the adult units, and for some strange reason, not a single psychiatrist or psychologist, nor any other therapist or administrative staff, suggested that perhaps the staff members who were involved might wish to talk about those events. It didn’t occur to me that maybe I should take some time off; I thought keeping busy was best, and when staff take time off, the ones who remain have to cover the time one would be off, thus making the job even harder. So I came to work, but I had changed, both my attitude, and my approach to the job.

Holding group therapy, and other normal, mundane functions of the job became low priority in my sphere of perceptions, while being alert to the possibility of small situations that could conceivably worsen became my focus. In retrospect, I firmly believe that my adrenal gland was regularly and periodically giving me doses of our natural defense system’s ‘pick-me-up’ in response to how I perceived the events around me. My hearing became extremely acute; I distinctly remember hearing a small noise one evening while standing in an office doorway, one night a few months after the incident with Al, and when I had tracked it to its’ source, I found that I had to go around three concrete walls, and through two metal doors to find what turned out to be two young men arguing, but not in particularly loud voices. No one else had heard anything.

Instead of a mental health therapist, I became a ‘brain cop’, ever alert to the slightest quirk in even the most delusional of individuals, often being able to intuit what they would do before they acted, magically appearing just as they would start to move. Even these agitated individuals can be fairly easily redirected, or at least distracted from their initial violent impulses, with the correct timing. And if the timing wasn’t quite right, well, I became even faster at assuming physical control, with the intent of entirely removing violence as one of their behavioral options, no matter what the situation.

As became obvious later, I was becoming somewhat grandiose myself, trying to assume the sole responsibility for the safety of ‘everyone’ in my space. I had forgotten, or refused to remember, a very old saying in the field of mental health, which cautions, “You will know that a nervous breakdown is imminent when you begin to believe that what you are doing is very important.” In my narrowed field of perceptions, what I was doing assumed a HUGE importance.

After a year of this, I wish I could say that I’d had enough, and asked for help. Perhaps my feet would have found the path I needed to follow sooner. But, I didn’t; another friend at work finally worked up the nerve to point out to me some of the things I was doing, and how they weren’t in my best interests, or in the best interests of the folks I was there to help. She was very compassionate and supportive, and despite what I wanted to believe, I’m not deliberately stupid, and had to admit the veracity of what she was telling me. I was broken inside, and no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t going to be able to fix what was broken by myself…..good thing for me, I didn’t have to do that all alone. In that, I was a fortunate one….

I asked to see the on-duty physician the night my friend spoke to me, and after some discussion, often somewhat heated on my part, I decided to leave work, due to a temporary disability caused by repeated exposure to extreme stress. In the next days, I began seeing a psychiatrist, at the suggestion of a lawyer I had been advised to see, who would ensure that my claim for disability  got me the help I needed. For the next two years, I saw the good Doctor K, and my time with him became a weekly hour of calm in the midst of the intermittent storms in my mind. My last year of work had been marked by sleeping problems, periods of anxiety & depression, and the advent of the beginning symptoms of a physical disorder that wouldn’t fully manifest for another five years, but caused a constant feeling of lethargy and general malaise.

With time away from work, and compassionate care from my psychiatrist, and the presence of my family, my anxiety and depression became less pronounced, and eventually I processed my feelings about what had occurred to the point where I was no longer troubled by daytime flashbacks and nightly dreams of the horrible events. I found my way back to my center, but as a changed person. I am much more in touch now with my emotions, and have learned not to block them out as much when they are too strong. It has taught me that it is okay to break down, and even to cry, as long as you remember to believe that you can always get back up…..

Hopefully, The End….

P.S.  I can’t leave it there, being who I am now…. Tomorrow, or, if not by then, in the near future, I’ll finish this story, as far as it has gotten since last explored. I got back up, yes, and am still up, but, there remains not only a lot of pain and anguish in my soul about those events, but echoes of that pain that I still hear today, in spite of my nearly constant struggle to mitigate anything that will bring me this kind of emotional turmoil. Reality does intrude, though, and life still must go on…. Any who, enough of being mysterious and obscure…..  More later….

The picture is an image of a Celtic Knot from the MS Clip Art collection.

P.P.S.  Above the title of this last section, I made a promise…. and it seems now like a good one to fulfill. I’ve read over this again, and felt again all the anguish I felt then… but with a hopeful sign. The aftereffects have not lasted as long, and I’m achieving some emotional stability earlier in the process… That’s a good thing…. But, I’m tired of all this re-hashing of old business, and hereby resolve to put it away for a time…. It’s certainly taken up enough of my life’s portion of time spent on negative events and issues, and it’s time I try to spend some time elsewhere in my reality…. So be it… gigoid has spoken….
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Now that the delusional third party nonsense is over, I think I’ll get on with life. I have high hopes…. for what I’m not sure, but, in the wake of the last few days, I’ll take whatever comes up, gladly. Hmm… as I look outside, I see that Murphy has turned his attention to the outer world, and it is raining significantly, which will complicate my trip to the library…. Ah well, c’est la vie, as they say in Nice, and probably Lyon, too….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Entirely costumed in pale green aspic….

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1

Ffolkes,
It’s been a long time since I’ve been down like this physically; I guess I’ve been lucky without being aware of it. I suppose that’s normal, to take for granted our times of peace, because they are so easy and pleasant that we tend to just coast along, never realizing how different it can be when things aren’t as well aligned, or working better. It’s an easy state of mind to fall into, until one doesn’t feel well, and realizes how much it is missed….

My physical conditions are of the type that don’t put me in agony, per se, but are just always there, preventing me from feeling very good, and sort of dragging me down into a morass of fatigue and discomfort. It’s not life-threatening, at least not yet, and it’s not particularly bad, when considered in the light of things like cancer, or lupis, or such conditions. It’s just not very comfortable, and makes me want to hole up in my cave and growl at anyone who comes to the door. Fortunately, nobody does….

Writing is hard when this happens…. It does keep me at home, pretty much, but it makes it hard to sit for long at the computer, so anything I write tends to peter out before I can get far into it. Around here, writing is always an adventure anyway, so that isn’t so much of a handicap, since I can’t sit long anyway, because of the need to move my back almost constantly to find a comfortable position. It just tends to make it hard to rant for any length of time, and as is known, I love to rant. It’s what keeps me so calm the rest of the time, and able to look at things dispassionately; I take all that out in what I write about priests, preachers, politicians, and human stupidity, my four horsemen of the apocalypse……

Today, though, we’ll be presenting part III of Repercussions, which is the hardest piece for me; it was hard to write, and it is very hard to read it again, as it deals with perhaps the most destructive moments of my entire life. The first section pearl will be old school, in that I won’t be writing as much as pointing…. and a poem, of course, will ease our spirits in section two, as is now the rule….. We should get on with it, eh?…..

“Writing is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, then it becomes a master, then it becomes a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.” — Winston Churchill

Well, now, if that isn’t an apt description of what goes on around here pretty much every day now, I don’t know what is, or would be…. Actually, in thinking about it, the process Winnie outlines happens in a flash of time for some, and each step is individual to the author doing the writing…. Hell, you know, I don’t think he knows any more than I do in this instance, and, since I’ve always passed on the experience of having a mistress,  have never acknowledged a master, and never lived under a tyrant (Well, other than my ex-wife…. Sorry, too easy, just kidding…..) , it rather breaks down for me, anyway. It’s really the last part I like, about killing the damn thing and flinging it to the public…. that feels quite right….. So, here, allow me to fling you along the path to the end of today’s adventure through my head… Shall we Pearl?…..
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For humans, the truth is a slippery concept to hold on to; it seems to change form on us if we do not clutch it tightly enough. Everyone feels that what they believe is the basic truth, and what others may hold to be true do not count in their world. Yet actual truth has nothing to do with our belief; the universe itself defines what is truth, and we can only change its labels to suit our own prejudices. I can, and no doubt have, supplied any number of examples of how humans can twist the truth to suit their own purposes, but today, I give you instead some of the thoughts others have had on the subject (with one random quote thrown in to challenge the Gentle Reader, one that speaks to part of the reason why truth is so slippery for us…. you have to figure out which one it is yourself…..)…. all of which combined gives a good idea of my own take on the matter…..

“It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.” — H. L. Mencken

“I have never been hurt by anything I didn’t say.” — Calvin Coolidge

“Humanity has been searching for an all knowing intelligence for as long as there has been a question it could not answer.  Until it learns to use its own mind it will continue to chase it’s tail.” — R. Thomas

“By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell — and hell heaven.  The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.” — Adolph Hitler, Mein Kampf

“A half-truth is usually less than half of that.” — Smart Bee

“Everyone, I think, remembers Voltaire’s famous line about freedom of speech. The version of it that you are familiar with is actually based on a faulty translation. What Voltaire actually said was this: “I do not agree with what you say, sir, though I will defend to the death your right to say it. But for now … shut up!” — Steve Allen

It would have been nice to have one more, but, that last one says it pretty well….. I hope you found your way to the point of the exercise, as it, too, says it pretty well…. and, in many fewer words than I COULD use, to be sure….     🙂
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Fragment

I WALK’D along a stream, for pureness rare,
Brighter than sun-shine; for it did acquaint
The dullest sight with all the glorious prey
That in the pebble-paved channel lay.

No molten crystal, but a richer mine,
Even Nature’s rarest alchymy ran there,–
Diamonds resolv’d, and substance more divine,
Through whose bright-gliding current might appear
A thousand naked nymphs, whose ivory shine,
Enamelling the banks, made them more dear
Than ever was that glorious palace’ gate
Where the day-shining Sun in triumph sate.

Upon this brim the eglantine and rose,
The tamarisk, olive, and the almond tree,
As kind companions, in one union grows,
Folding their twining arms, as oft we see
Turtle-taught lovers either other close,
Lending to dulness feeling sympathy;
And as a costly valance o’er a bed,
So did their garland-tops the brook o’erspread.

Their leaves, that differ’d both in shape and show,
Though all were green, yet difference such in green,
Like to the checker’d bent of Iris’ bow,
Prided the running main, as it had been–

Christopher Marlowe
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Repercussions, Part III

On a day in mid-August of 1984, I was working once again at Napa State Hospital (NSH) as a Psychiatric Technician. Since the adolescent program where I previously worked had closed, I was assigned to a unit designated T8, in the T-building, a two-story edifice which encompassed enough space for 10 units housing up to 45 individuals each, an industrial kitchen with two separate dining rooms, serving meals in both rooms in rotation, for eight units, and several program offices for the Program managers and support staff.

The population was all male, in a program whose purpose was to treat a variety of different diagnoses. The residents of the program, who were diagnosed with Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar Disorders, Personality Disorders, along with a wide variety of other psychiatric conditions, were housed together on eight units with dormitories where they slept at night. On this particular late summer’s day, the men on T8 were relatively quiet, as everyone tried to cope with the stifling heat common to the area at this time of the year. The buildings at NSH were built in the 1950’s, all of concrete, and could be very uncomfortable.
A couple of hours into the shift, we escorted our charges out the door, downstairs to the hallway leading to the dining room for dinner. It is always the most dangerous part of the shift; the residents are hungry, and the walk to the dining room necessarily leaves the staff spread apart in order to keep an eye on everyone. The team I worked with was a good one, and with all of us staying alert, we got to the dining room and supervised the clients, who were conversant with the routine, until all were seated and eating, except a couple of stragglers still in line.

The phone on the wall rang, and one of the kitchen employees picked up to answer. She listened a moment, then turned to quickly address us nursing staff, saying in a strained voice, “T-6 needs help, stat!” “Stat” is the medical code word for an emergency situation, requiring staff to respond as fast as possible to lend assistance. Two of us, myself and Hoi-sing Lee, another PT, immediately broke into a run, out of the door to the left down the hallway to the stairway door leading up to T-6. We hit the open hall door at a full run and bounded up the stairs, slowing as we came to the doorway to scan the situation before entering into the main day hall of the unit.

To the left was the medication room door, bottom half closed, top open to the room. A female staff member in the open upper half pointed across the day hall at a resident there, saying only, “that’s him” In the middle of the room, near the chairs grouped in front of the TV, lay another of the residents, curled into a ball and shivering violently. A female staff member could be seen in the nursing office, still calling for help. No one was in the TV area to the left of the door; most of the clients were on the way to the dining room, as were most of the staff, so my teammate, Lee, and I were the first responders at the scene. I looked straight ahead from the door as I moved into the room, and saw a sight I will see in dreams for the rest of my days, burned indelibly on my memory in an instant that lasted forever.

I saw the body of a male staff member, obviously unconscious; he lay on his back straight in front of me about 10 feet away. I recognized him as the T-6 shift lead, a friend named Al, who had oriented me to the program when I first came on board. I observed that he was breathing, but his complexion had a very bad looking chalky grey cast to it, eyes closed, and obviously insensate. Another 15 feet beyond where he lay paced the apparent perpetrator, who immediately began yelling at me in a threatening voice, shouting, ” Yeah I did that, come and get me!.” He was about 6’1″, approximately 190 lbs., appeared to be in good shape, and very obviously was in an agitated psychotic state, just coming down after an explosion of rage, and still pumped up to fight.

As I approached him, I had to step over the body of my friend, and very carefully moved toward the agitated individual, on full alert and fully adrenalized. Time had slowed to a crawl, and I could hear the harsh breathing from the aggressor as he paced in a tight circle, mumbling to himself between yells in my direction. Hoi-sing, an experienced PT, and like me, a veteran of many such situations, silently crossed behind me to the left, quickly circling around to his opposite side, so we could approach from both directions. As I stepped up to him, I casually took his left arm, just as Lee did the same on the other side. Both of us had been trained to use a special hold which allows control of the arm without stressing it by putting it in unnatural positions, allowing you to use your weight to control the arm, quickly tiring the subject. He began to try rip his arms from our grasp, yelling obscenities at us, and flailing about.

Hoi-sing was experienced, but only weighed about 110 lbs. dripping wet, and I could tell he wasn’t going to be able to hold the right arm much longer, and I would then be the unhappy recipient of an attempted blow to the head. I had to think fast, so I dropped my weight while holding his arm, then lifted him upward until his weight went onto his toes, just enough that I was able to control the direction of our movement. I quickly directed all three of us right into the chairs a few feet away, knowing that I could direct him hard enough to cause his legs to run into the arm of the heavy chair, causing him to imbalance and fall over to the floor, with me still on top grimly keeping a death-grip on his arm. This unfortunately left Lee underneath him, but as I knew he would, he wriggled free, still holding the right arm, and we were then able to use our combined weight to hold him securely on the floor until more help arrived.

Very soon after we got control of the still wildly struggling individual, more people arrived, and helped us to restrain him, then per procedure, move him to a secure room, where he could be restrained with leather straps on a bed until he regained control, as the psychotic rage passed. Once he was secure, Lee and I returned to the day hall where Al still lay, being examined by the on-duty physician, surrounded by silent and worried looking staff. A paramedic team arrived with a gurney stretcher, Al was lifted onto it gently, and rushed to the emergency room at the nearest hospital a few miles away. The doctor was only able to stand there shaking his head sadly, with a grave expression, saying over and over, “it’s bad, it’s bad”. After writing up the incident reports, Lee and I finished our shift on our unit, quietly raging inside but still outwardly under control.

After our shift ended, we went to the hospital to see if Al had been stabilized and/or had regained consciousness; before we left work, we had heard only periodic updates that told us he was still in surgery. When we arrived, we were told he was in a coma, in critical condition, and being monitored for fluid pressure on the brain. His prognosis was serious and guarded, meaning the doctors didn’t know whether he would recover or not, only time would tell.

Four days later, Al died without ever waking up. The doctors explained that he had apparently been struck full in the face, a massive blow to the nose. The doctors explained he had received in essence two blows, one to the face and nose, and one to the back of the head when he fell to the floor. In reality, he never stood much chance of a full recovery; even if he had lived, the likelihood of a severe loss of brain function would almost certainly have made him a full-time bed patient, requiring full nursing care to survive. He would never have been able to speak, or walk, or hold his family again. He was survived by his wife and four children.

At the funeral a day after his death all of us who had worked with Al stood by his casket at the memorial service as we and his family bid him a tearful farewell. We could but stare in shock, and wonder at the terrible waste of a good man’s life, silent as the sadness filled us.

And I, I was filled with a such a sense of rage and sorrow, such waves of pain and anguish that I could barely speak for the clenching of my jaw. For the first time in my life and career, I had been unable to protect someone I had cared for, and I was filled with an immensely deep sense of regret for having arrived on the scene too late to save my friend…..My equilibrium was completely shattered, and I could not find my center, nor even momentary peace, despite recognizing that we had done as much as we could, and held no personal responsibility for his death. That knowledge gave me no comfort, and I entered the realm of the “walking dead”, gripped by madness and and soul-deep pain….
To be continued…..
__________________________________

Whew…. I managed to get down here to finish this off without stopping to read the third section, which for now is a good thing. I’ll have to do so at least once more, to do the final edit and spell check by eye that I always do, so I don’t need the angst right now….. Once again, I don’t know how this one came out, as I don’t have the wherewithal just now to decide…. It looks okay, and it’s done, so…. it flies….  So be it…..   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

After all, maybe it won’t explode….

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Ffolkes,
“Delicious ambiguity”….. Gilda definitely had that one right. Allowing oneself to feel that vibrant, awake feeling that comes with each new day, or new event in our lives can be the very best part of it. Feeling a bit unsure of what the day may bring can be a bit scary, or a bit fun, or both, like watching Doctor Who, but the feeling of anticipation, if appreciated, is well worth whatever scary it may be. And sometimes what happens is good, and then we are alight with the fire of joy….. Not a bad way to start the day, I guess….

It’s a damn sight better than waking up in tears, or in pain. Of course, there is always pain, my constant companion, but most mornings it is not enough to make me cry, at least. And on mornings such as this, when it is not bad, the contrast is most welcome, for sure. Gosh, I should probably do something special in honor of such an auspicious beginning. Still, I’ve been up almost 10 minutes now, and Murphy hasn’t shown his face, so it might behoove me to wait, just to see if he has planned any of his own special activities for me. It can be a bit stressful, waiting for that other shoe to drop…. especially since I know he is watching, and waiting for just the right moment to spring his surprise, whatever it may be…. more of that delicious ambiguity to chew on…. and it did give me a chance to use “behoove” in a sentence….

It almost feels as if a poem is inside me, churning and simmering, but I never know about that until it’s ready to leak out, and I have no idea how to make it go faster, or on command. I hope there is, as it’s been a while since I wrote one, and I’d hate to think the impulse is all gone, back to wherever it hid for 35 years or more. I’ve enjoyed it a lot, and it’s one of the best ways I’ve found to clean out junk in my head that should have been thrown out years ago…. and all unconsciously, for the most part, so I don’t spend a lot of mental energy worrying about it, or about the process itself. It just happens…. I write the poems, and the crap inside disappears…. it’s a good deal, I think….

Well, now that I’ve knobbled, and wobbled, and meandered about, I guess I can go diving now, & get this show on the road. I’ve certainly pushed the envelope of what constitutes an introduction again, all the way to four meaningless paragraphs filled with very little beyond personal ambivalence. Not bad for having only been up less than a half hour….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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1. everything is a system
2. everything is part of a larger system
3. the universe is infinitely systematized both upward (larger systems) and downward (smaller systems)
4. all systems are infinitely complex. (the illusion of simplicity comes from focusing attention on one or a few variables).

— Smart Bee

I like this collection of assertions, though it’s hard to be sure why. It is, of course, complete and utter twaddle, in terms of its usefulness as a tool for dealing with everyday life, but it has a certain consistency of error that gives it a certain piquant charm. The error is one that is inherent in any generalized assertion, and that is the simple fact that generalizations are pretty useless when dealing with Reality, and can, in fact, lead to, shall we say, unwanted events? Okay, disasters……

Sure, one can look at anything as a system, using only a small piece of imagination, and a generous helping of metaphor. But, in Reality, calling a rock a system of interlocking atoms and molecules does not alter the fact that it is a rock, and no matter how complex, or upwardly and downwardly compatible it may be considered as a part of a larger system, it is just a rock…. If it is traveling rapidly on a line with your head, you’d better duck, and not worry about whether or not the systems involved are complex or simple, or how compatible they are with yours. I guess that would be what the author would call focusing on the wrong variables…. and what I’d call leading to an unwanted event. Unless, of course, you wanted to take a hit in the head from a rock…. In which case, well, more power to ya….

I suppose the real value of such assertions is in the learning possibilities, from the mental exercise it takes to ponder and evaluate the statements it makes, testing them in one’s mind against the parameters of Reality as they are understood. Strictly from that standpoint, these assertions hold up very well, if in no other way than channeling the thoughts into certain patterns, and causing (hopefully) the mind to question the results of whatever is produced. When predicting the weather, it is always a good idea to look out the window before saying anything….

That’s all…. just found the pearl, and it stimulated a bit of jumbled cogitation, so I thought I’d share it…. It isn’t a particularly deep set of ideas, but they reach deeper into real life than may be first apparent. I think it’s always a good thing to explore whatever comes into our perception, even if it doesn’t always appear all shiny and important at first. It may, after all, be nothing more than a discarded, broken piece of glass from an old bottle, but it could have been a diamond ring…. as John Prine has already said in an old song….

“Do you imagine that the universe is agitated? Go out into the desert at night and look up at the sky. This practice should answer the question” — Lao Tzu
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Today is one of those days when I feel the need to retreat into the classics…. and for that, a little John Keats always hits the right spot…. Enjoy!…..

Dawlish Fair

Over the hill and over the dale,
And over the bourn to Dawlish–
Where gingerbread wives have a scanty sale
And gingerbread nuts are smallish.
————-
Rantipole Betty she ran down a hill
And kicked up her petticoats fairly;
Says I I’ll be Jack if you will be Gill–
So she sat on the grass debonairly.

Here’s somebody coming, here’s somebody coming!
Says I ’tis the wind at a parley;
So without any fuss any hawing and humming
She lay on the grass debonairly.

Here’s somebody here and here’s somebody there!
Says I hold your tongue you young Gipsey;
So she held her tongue and lay plump and fair
And dead as a Venus tipsy.

O who wouldn’t hie to Dawlish fair,
O who wouldn’t stop in a Meadow,
O who would not rumple the daisies there
And make the wild fern for a bed do!

John Keats
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“Happy is he who dashes the heads of his enemy’s children against rocks.” — Psalms 137:9

I don’t know about you, but that kind of strikes me as a little harsh, don’t you think? I mean, talk about exploring the deepest depths of evil possible to the soul of man! And we thought that our modern rock and rap lyrics were funky?….. Rappers get pretty nasty, but I haven’t heard this degree of nasty from anyone on the radio…. yet…. Not that I haven’t heard some egregious BS, but nothing so graphic and personal as this little song from the priests of Judaism…. fine upstanding fellows that they are…. NOT!!

First, I have to say, I hope this is a sham, or at the very least, a misquote. If it is an accurate reprint from that Psalm, well, it indicates a number of things to me, some about the past, some about the present…. Mostly, though, when I read it, I get a horrible visual image in my mind’s eye of some grinning moron holding a baby by the ankle, and….. no, I’m not going there, even for the writing practice…. I guess I’m a coward, if that means I’d have to continue to make graphic a concept that should never ever have even occurred to anyone, much less been written down….

What was the purpose of this, I wonder? As a teaching song? As a victory hymn? From an Old Testament version of the 3 Stooges? I’m not even sure I want to know that much about it, come to think of it…. It kind of makes one wonder, what kind of culture would have such a concept as a part of its morality…. but, sadly, through most of human history, if I’m not mistaken, acts like this, and others just as egregiously violent and cruel, have occurred over and over, and continue to do so today in some parts of the world, where civilization is only a thin veneer over the native cultures.

Our own society shows signs of the kind of culture that would grow out of such concepts, a sort of casual attitude about violence when aimed at an objectified enemy. The less humanity we ascribe to those enemies, the easier it is to perform inhumane acts against them…. Just another of the charming traits of which our species may boast….. It fits right in with our tendency to react with anger to fear, and with our tendency to act violently to achieve our ends. Sometimes, it’s enough to make me wonder how we got as far as we have down the evolutionary path.

“What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?” — Jean-Jacques Rousseau

This concept is probably what has saved us, at least to this point. We are indeed creatures of a dual nature, reflecting the duality of existence in which we live, and perceive in the universe. The light to our dark side, our saving grace, are these elements of compassion and empathy that we can also display, given the right circumstance and opportunity. The Dalai Lama, who has been known to show some rather deep wisdom, has said that compassion and kindness are his entire religion, and that mankind cannot survive without living according to the precepts of such characteristics. I happen to believe he is most likely correct.

The attitudes that that Old Testament culture created and sent crashing through Time are bound to lead us to extinction, for they completely  ignore the laws of nature. Our own greed and unwillingness to accept our own place in nature will remove us from this life, as surely as we are stripping the earth of its material resources in our search for wealth and power. None of the people involved in that effort to achieve power are either aware of, or willing to consider, their own complicity and guilt, and will fight to their own death to preserve their assumed right to oppress the rest of reality in their personal quest for domination.

The sad part is that they are taking the rest of us with them down that road…. and it is all because basically, deep down where it counts the most, a lot of people are, quite simply, assholes…..  Quite frankly, the universe will be better off without the great majority of them. It’s a shame all the good ffolkes have to pay the same price, isn’t it?…… Ah well…..

“May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you’re dead” — An Irish toast
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It is most likely a mistake to mention it, but Murphy has yet to raise his head up high enough to take a shot, so I’m going to take my chances with this one, and let it fly. I’ll make a trip to the library, and get it posted as soon as I find an appropriate poem to include in the second section reserved for that element…. which often can make or break the day’s effort. Be that as it may, I’ll take my chances…. I’ve already paid the fee…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Echoes of apologetic mumbles….

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2

Ffolkes,
This post was written yesterday, on Thanksgiving Day, but I was unable to post it, due to foreseen difficulties I was unable to resolve. So, for the second time in history, I missed a post. Much as I hate it, I am not overly upset, merely heavily confused, because my routine is now shot to shit…. So, this will get posted this morning, Friday, and we’ll pick up the thread at the appropriate time tomorrow…. Needless to say, I also have been unable to do much reading on other ffolke’s blogs, so please be patient with me…. I’ll be back eventually, full time, and will bug the hell out of y’all then, whenever I’m not on the road to somewhere I’ve never been….. Any who, here is what I spewed out yesterday….. enjoy!…..

Well….. That’s a pain, for sure…. I am up early, ready and able, hell, even enthused about writing today’s Pearl, and I just realized I might not be able to post it today. Both the library and the coffee shop where I go to connect to the Internet are closed today, due to the fact that it is Thanksgiving Day.

Kind of ironic, isn’t it, that on this, one of the most inherently social holidays, there is no social venue for people to gather, unless it has something to do with the holiday. Businesses other than restaurants will all close, so there is actually NO place for folks like me to go to hook up. I don’t have the money to eat out, nor to eat in, really…. I mean, I have food to last me the month, but I guarantee it’s no turkey dinner. That doesn’t bother me at all…. but knowing I may not be able to post this is quite upsetting, to say the least…. It is hard enough living in poverty, without it being shoved in my face like this…. No library until Saturday, so tomorrow’s post is looking like it won’t get online, either….. SIGH. Funny how our society turns away from the people who need the most help, especially on those days when it hurts the most.

“You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.” — Ray Bradbury

The buses run only on a holiday schedule, greatly reduced, so all of us poor folks and seniors, who depend on the bus to get around, are stuck today, limited to where we can walk. Libraries and other government agencies are closed, so there is no place to go to get off the streets, if one has no home (I’m lucky in that regard, and in having food…..). But, if one has no family event to attend, or money to eat out, then this holiday is pretty well more of a depressive reminder of how tough things are, than it is a reason to be thankful…. Myself, I’m thankful enough, for what I have…. which is little enough, all things considered, but enough to be worth being thankful. But, I am also rather depressed, because I can see how hard it is for those who have less than I do, and I know that things would be much different, for me, as well as for those who suffer more, if the society in which we live made any real attempt to help those in need…..

Now, I don’t know how it is for others in this society who are living on the edge, but for me, going to a shelter to get food on a day like today would be kind of the last straw. It would be the final indicator that I have lost the ability, and the means, to take care of myself, a severe blow to the little bit of pride I have left. It is enough of a come-down to realize that I used to have a house, a couple of jobs, a family, a car, bills, the whole nine yards, and would most likely be planning a dinner myself, to cook when the kids came over to celebrate the holiday, had things worked out the way I wanted them to…. Alas, though, my ex-wife had other plans, as did the woman I thought loved me up until three years ago, and my dreams of a quiet retirement with my true love were destroyed by the reality of betrayal….. C’est la vie!….

I’ve managed to get over that, for the most part, (though, obviously, not completely….) as I try to obtain my just rewards for all the years I’ve poured money into the SS system. The system protects itself very well with layer upon layer of bureaucratic paper that stands between anyone attempting to obtain their benefits and the actual use of them, so the battle with them wages on in the midst of all the rest, aggravating my PTSD, and making it harder for me on days like today, when everything in the world is pointed toward letting us poor folks know just how badly we’ve screwed up by not having enough of the greed gene, and how little society really cares for those who don’t quite make the grade, financially, whatever the reason for that….

“A nation’s advance as a civilized society can be properly measured by the manner in which it treats the poor and the elderly – often the same people.” — Smart Bee

Once, many years ago, I took some business administration classes at the local JC, one of which was taught by a banker. In class, I once noted to the teacher that all of our reading, and all of what she had been relating to us, in toto, indicated that there was in our society only one actual form of discrimination taking place, and that was financial, or economic discrimination…. In other words, the Haves are all conspiring against the Have Nots, and all the laws are in the favor of the Haves. I asked if she thought that this would ever change, if society would ever really achieve any sort of social progress beyond what the dictates of the rich would like it to have…. She didn’t even pause to consider her response; she just said no…. She didn’t say as much, but it was obvious that she, and every other person who was on the side of the Haves, would be making sure of that….. Financial and economic discrimination is real, and is just the way they want it, so it isn’t going to change, ever…. You can take that to the bank, so to speak….

With one hand he put
A penny in the urn of poverty,
And with the other took a shilling out.

— Robert Pollok (1799-1827) — The Course of Time, Book viii, Line 632

I suppose that if society did make those kinds of effort, or if there was any social progress that was actually going to be allowed to happen by the beloved ruling class, then I’d have less to write about, as I do spend a lot of time railing at the members of that esteemed group. I doubt seriously that much change will occur, and I am certain that whatever does happen won’t be enough to change the overall structure of our culture, that allows, and even encourages, this kind of discrimination according to economic principles. Those who are in power have been there for a very long time, and they’re not about to give up their comforts, much less their profits, without a fight…. and any kind of fight at all will mean that we have lost our way, again…. Ah well, it’s enough to dishearten the most optimistic person alive, and it certainly causes me some distress, even as it promises no end to what I will have to write about….

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus (Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon) — Hogwarts School Motto

Shall we Pearl?….. Actually, I suppose you could say we already started, what with the nearly a thousand word rant above…. It IS more of a pearl than an intro, but, we must stick to our purpose and routine…. Oh, wait, no we mustn’t, necessarily…. I forgot I have no clue as to where to post this, so getting it done is a moot process, if not a altogether a moot occupation…. Ah, fuck it, I’m sticking with it, for the nonce…. if only for the chance to use the word “nonce”, one of my favorites…. Onward….
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“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them.  That only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality.” — Lao-Tzu

I’m not sure how to take this…. I found this quote from Lao Tzu AFTER writing the above intro, and AFTER writing the third section’s pearl below. As always, Lao Tzu makes obvious the reason why I am feeling my discomfort, and points out how to get past the pain, caused, as usual, by my own perceptions, and my reaction to them. But, at the same time, this time, it occurs to me that although we cannot force reality to do what we want it to do, there does seem to be a rather unbalanced percentage of results that favor the bad guys, rather than evidence that supports an even, or even random, set of chances. I mean, yes, this does parallel my own philosophy’s axiom #2, almost exactly, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to me when the universe does present us with natural and spontaneous changes.

And, really, it is not. But, from what I can see, objectively, it seems easier for the bad guys to take advantage of the system as it exists, and for them to achieve the results they desire. It seems that if the universe were truly a random deal, then those chances of success would be equal for both the rich and the poor; seems only fair to me…. But, then, I am not the universe, and most simply put, I care, and it doesn’t. That is what makes the difference, and is why the bad guys win so much more often…. If one is the kind of person who cares about others, then fairness becomes an issue. If one doesn’t care about others, then it is not an issue, and one can use all the advantages the universe offers to those who would lie, hurt others without compunction, and cheat their own mothers, (well, who knows… they MIGHT feel guilty about it, but they would still do it….) to achieve their own ends. This is why the world is like it is, quite frankly…. because there are two types of folks in the world, and one of them insists on playing fair….

You know what, though? I don’t care, ultimately, how unfair it is….. Each of us has to make a decision about how we are to approach life, and whether or not we will be the kind of person who will take advantage of others to get what we want. To do so is to give in to the Dark Side of the Force, in my mind, and I just won’t do it…. Yes, I could have a lot more, and be a lot more comfortable, physically…. I could be rich, if I didn’t care about other folks…. But, I do, and I also enjoy being able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning without any shame…. I mean, doing that is already a dangerous occupation, as my face is far from what I’d call pretty, or even handsome…. but, it is an honest face, and that is what I care about….

So be it…. Let reality  be reality, ffolkes, and let the chips fly where they may…. All we can do is all we can do, anyway, right? Right……

“You cannot believe in honor unless you have achieved it. Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” — George Bernard Shaw
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When asked for his own [favourite poem], Dylan [Thomas] slowly said, “This is the best poem in the English language,” and then repeated, gravely and with feeling, these lines:

I am
Thou art
He, she, it is
We are
You are
They are.

— Richard Burton (1577-1640), — quoted in Andrew Sinclair’s “No Man More Magical”

Strangely enough, that’s enough….. In my humble opinion, Mr. Thomas ought to know…..
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“Equal and exact justice to all men, of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political; peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations,– entangling alliances with none; the support of the State governments in all their rights, as the most competent administrations for our domestic concerns, and the surest bulwarks against anti-republican tendencies; the preservation of the general government in its whole constitutional vigour, as the sheet anchor of our peace at home and safety abroad;…freedom of religion; freedom of the press; freedom of person under the protection of the habeas corpus; and trial by juries impartially selected,–these principles form the bright constellation which has gone before us, and guided our steps through an age of revolution and reformation.” — Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) — First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1801

Point by point, how are we doing with these “bright guiding principles”? Do they still provide us with, and hold us up as, the example to the world of a truly free people? Well, let’s just see, shall we?….

“Equal and exact justice to all men, etc.”  Well, as much as I’d like to say yes, I really can’t, you know. And you DO know, don’t you? The rich are treated much more leniently than are the poor, when it comes to the enforcement of just about any law, this is an accepted fact in society, and hardly needs any more documentation. Anyone who says otherwise is either a professional liar (i.e., one of those who get the preferred treatment….) or is from another planet, and just got into town….. Well, hmmm…. Also, political entities always assume immunity from the laws they create, and the record of the courts in both prosecuting, and convicting them of misdeeds, is simply atrocious.

“An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.” — Simon Cameron (1799-1889)

And, please, don’t get me started on how the law favors religious groups…. To begin with, they don’t pay any taxes, and that is quite enough for me to swallow, thank you very much….. Sure, the cops are always happy to bust a preacher for drinking or whoring, but that is kind of like a sport for them, and how many ever end up in prison, anyway? Almost none…. Hell, when a preacher/priest/minister vouches for a criminal, it can mitigate their treatment to some degree…. Sorry, but I just don’t call that equal under the law, especially when a preacher will lie even faster than a politician will, and that is supposedly the fastest thing on Earth…. Don’t even try to tell me you don’t expect your politicians to lie…. and, if that is true, then preachers and priests are sure to follow their lead, or lead the way, take your pick….

‘Kay, number two…. “peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations…. entangling alliances with none.” Well, this one is kind of hit and miss, I’d say…. Of course we DO have some rather embarrassing alliances (dictatorships, drug regimes, political tyrants whose country is in a strategic military space, etc.) but, those don’t count, as they are “clandestine” alliances that nobody is supposed to know of….. Our degree of honest friendship is rather limited, as well, to those countries who will vote with us in the UN, or those over whom we have some sort of economic control…. but, hey, everybody WANTS to be an American, right?…. Not any more, I should think….

“the support of the State governments in all their rights,” Well, the states get supported just as long as they follow Federal guidelines and political boundaries…. This one sort of got a bit messed up at the start, and has never really recovered since the early 1800’s, when corporate interests gained control of all three branches of the government, arranging the laws, and the courts’ decisions on those laws, so that corporate interests are always considered first, before those of individuals, or private, small businesses, or the states, or townships, or any entity except those few who have gathered all the strings into their grasping hands….. You can think otherwise as much as you’d like, but that is the simple truth, and will remain so until enough people realize it, and begin to act together to create change, as happens periodically throughout history.

Well, onward…. “freedom of religion; freedom of the press; freedom of person under the protection of the habeas corpus; and trial by juries impartially selected”   Freedom of religion…. as long as it doesn’t offend the Christians…. Freedom of the press…. as long as it doesn’t offend the churches or the corporations too much…. Freedom of person… well, not since the NDAA went into effect on 1/1/2012…. According to that evolutionary descendant of the Patriot Act passed by a Congress completely under the influence of panic back in 2001, an American citizen can be arrested and held, without any judicial review, or any oversight at all, for an undetermined amount of time, and the authorities do not have to explain why to anyone at all…. Not exactly the “writ of habeas corpus”, is it?….. “trial by juries”…. Well, only if one is ever charged…. under the NDAA, the citizen can be “disappeared”, without any trial, or explanation at all….. a bit scary, isn’t it?

My question, for all of us, is this….. Why are we not talking about all of this, as a matter of public discourse? Why are we allowing our government to suborn our legacy of freedom? Why do we accept that the government, and politicians, lie to us, and steal from us, and constantly act in their own interests rather than ours, seemingly with our complete approval……Why?….. Are we that stupid?….. According to Tom’s standards, we didn’t do very well on our report card.

But, then, the very enemies that Tom warned us of during his lifetime, the corporations and banks, have conspired to keep us from getting any better marks; they have in truth been winning the battle, ever since early in the 19th century, soon after Tom’s term as President….. The corporations and bankers are the true rulers of this society, world-wide, and have been for many thousands of years, mostly without the major part of society even being aware of their control over events. Nothing that happens, anywhere, is unplanned by them, or at least unknown to them; if something happens, you can be sure they made no effort to stop it. This is because it is entirely within their purposes to have the pirates, liars, and thieves of our society in charge of the governments, and they will do nothing to curtail any of their greed or ambition, as it serves their purposes perfectly, keeping the weak and poor kneeling before the rich and powerful.

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m getting just a bit upset about some of this stuff, and, well, to be honest, I’d like to see some of what has been usurped put back the way it should be, before I check out of this hotel…. More will follow, you can be sure…. I’ll be back with more evidence of the chicanery under which we are laboring to live….. Be alert, ffolkes, the world needs more lerts!…..
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“I appoint you ambassador to Fantasy Island!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” — Mark Twain

I’m not sure which of these two is the right choice…. either one seems to be appropriate, given the state of the rest of this Pearl. I’ve been fussing and farting around with it now for about four hours, give or take an hour or so of break and distraction time, so, there really isn’t much more I can do to it, or any further damage I could cause…. My hit points are about exhausted, and Godzilla is going to escape…. again….. So, I think, all in all, it would be best if I go with Mark Twain’s idea, and pause here for a breath or two, to greater effect than further twaddle would be…. You can thank me later…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Prior to the arrival of thrills….

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Ffolkes,
Vague. A very descriptive word, though what it describes is anything but precise in nature. It certainly fits my mind this morning, and looks as if it could slide right over into being the word of the day. It would be an easy choice, as no preparation is needed; I’m already there. I’m not sure it’s the kind of word I want to base a whole day on….. then, again, not picking it may annoy Murphy, who no doubt flung it up there into my head himself. It’s just his style……

As well, it’s not as if it is a condition that is unknown around here. I’ve been known to get vague, and stay that way, for days on end, actually. It’s kind of fun, teasing shop workers, confusing bus drivers, and if a chance to annoy a cop comes up, well, I’m all over it. I know, that can be dangerous here in Vallejo, but, I like to live dangerously sometimes, and if one can’t annoy a cop now and again, where is all the fun in life to come from, I ask you? Though not in the realm of CEO’s yet, the police are pretty well-paid these days, and are the obvious target for anyone who has a gripe against society; they have to know that going in. So, don’t get all righteous and prim on me; they’re supposed to be able to take that kind of harassment from the public, and if they can’t, they’ve no business wearing a badge. To my mind, a sense of humor is the single most important tool a police officer can have, and the ONLY one he/she can’t do without….

Now, how did we get from being vague and curmudgeonly to a discussion of societal mores? Sometimes I amaze even myself…. and I have no idea how it happened this time. Hmm…. must have been the mention of the salary of a CEO that set me off. THAT is certainly a subject well worth dissection, and a bit of people bashing. I can’t think of a single category of society that deserves it more than CEO’s, the assholes. Any one of them will do….. I don’t care how stupid and mean a person is, they have to know that NOBODY is worth the kind of money they are being paid…. NOBODY. NOBODY. NOBODY…… I don’t care how much they spout off, and quote figures, or anything else; they aren’t worth that much money, nor is whatever function they perform. It isn’t, period. And nothing can be produced to support that it is, so they may as well just shut it….

I can see from the last paragraph that a rant is coming on, or could be if I were to allow it…. not surprisingly, I guess. The salaries of those corporate assholes is one of my favorite peeves, and it doesn’t surprise me at all to go from 0 to rant in one half-paragraph. Again, I can’t think of a more deserving group of folks about which to rant, but, I’m not even out of the intro yet…. give me a break, will ya? Hah!…. I’ll bet this is all Murphy’s work…. leading me by the nose into a subject that he knows will cause me to blow up like a puffer fish, then standing back and laughing, as I try to write my way back into some semblance of normalcy (not that normal is ever our goal here….).  I’d call Murphy an asshole, too, but, he already knows he is, and delights in it too much….

Weird…. there’s another fine word, and one that fits well at this point. I guess you could say this was a better than average intro section, as it traversed the land between vague and weird, and never once fell into whining, or complaining about Reality, though goodness knows there is always enough of that to provide ample material for those activities. Not doing so is considered a win around here….. Since we’ve won so handily today, it would most likely be best to go for a dive before things start to fall apart…. which can happen in a heartbeat…..  So…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.” — Lord Chesterfield (to his son)

One might think that Lord Chesterfield was being somewhat devious, or ingenious, at least, when he said this to his son. But, I can attest, from personal experience, that he is right in every respect, and for anyone who is smarter than your average bear, necessary knowledge, if one wishes to survive. It is a hard truth, and one that many people will find distasteful, but, it is nonetheless true for all that….. That truth is this: some people in the world are smarter than others. If you are one of them, it is well to not advertise that fact too loudly, or try to assume a lot of prominence for one’s intelligence, for several reasons, the foremost of which is that other people, not as smart, will object, merely on the principle of ‘fairness’, or ‘democracy’…..

I’m not sure about why it is so hard for a lot of folks to understand the concept of ‘average’, but it is clear that it doesn’t seem to register with a lot of people that the very meaning of the word implies that at least half of the people alive are well under that average in intelligence. They HAVE to be, or it would not be the average, now, would it? The hard part for people to understand, I suppose, is that the odds are that THEY themselves are part of that lower half. Someone HAS to be, but, nobody wants to be labeled as “below average”, or to think of themselves that way. For anyone who is at all empathetic to inner turmoil, it is hard to watch, knowing controversy and denial is inevitable, yet wishing it weren’t…..

“Every person is an individual; we all have a set of designer genes.” — Smart Bee

Knowing this, and accepting it, is the key to solving the intelligence issue, if it exists for you. Whether smart or dumb, ugly or pretty, thick or thin, each of us is unique, and therein lies the key to living with serenity. Learning to use our abilities to their maximum, at whatever level they exist, is the only use of knowledge that will lead us to success; concentrating on the differences in life that exist is a time wasting proposition, and will lead only to more trouble and pain. Our salvation lies in our uniqueness, not in how we are the same. The knowledge that there are people smarter than us, and there are those who are less so, is knowledge that should give us hope, rather than take it away, for it implies unlimited opportunity. When there is no limit to the kind of people who exist, then there is no limit to what can be done by them when they interact…. That is common sense, not deep logic…. though it is deeply logical as well….

“The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions and applause of other men!
A weird life it is, indeed, to be living always in somebody else’s imagination, as if that were the only place in which one could at last become real!” — Thomas Merton, “Seven Storey Mountain”

Sometimes, it seems as if it would be nice if there weren’t so much diversity of ability in the world; it might make things simpler. But, given human nature, probably not…. We’d still find some way to fuss and fight with each other…. If it isn’t about intelligence, it would be about looks, or money, or ancestors, or any of the other myriad of subjects man finds to fight about…. We are contentious creatures, at best…. and often, I am left, after writing such a treatise as this one, with a feeling much like Friedrich gives us here…. in fact, I’ve felt this way often…..

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them.” — Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
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I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it’s you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Pablo Neruda
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“No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.” — Taoist Proverb

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” — Buddha

Monk:   Where can I enter Zen?
Master Gensha:  Can you hear the babbling brook?
Monk:    Yes, I can hear it.
Master Gensha:  Then enter it there.

A bird can fly, but a fly can’t bird. — Tao of Pooh.
(Not as undeep as it seems…. think on it….)

“I wanted to change the world.  But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” — Aldous Huxley

Okay, so here is a bass-ackwards pearl, just because…. I started off collecting for a pearl on a point of Eastern philosophy, and how it differs from Western. That changed, into what seemed to be a collection of different ideas from separate philosophies, all of which were connected somehow. But, then it came to the final pearl, and it all fell into place…. What we have here is nothing more, and nothing less, than a complete philosophy of life, in five short lessons. Encompassed within the relatively non-existent confines of these principles, one from each of five different parts of the world, each from a different time in history, and from a different master of thought, is everything that one would need to live a life of complete rationality and peace. Sometimes, I just don’t know how I do it…..    🙂

‘Nuff said…. just meditate on the five truths, and you’ll get where you need to go….. and remember axiom 7 of Peruaosophy…. “Do your Duty. Honor the truth. Respect Life. Share your Love.”…. and all will be well….
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Smart Bee was particularly cooperative today…. one of the best things it showed me was a new disclaimer. I am adding it below, because it mirrors my thoughts on this subject perfectly…… enjoy! Just replace the words “All software” with “Whatever gigoid wrote”, and it will all apply perfectly…..

NOTE: “No warranties, either express or implied, are hereby given. All software is supplied as is, without guarantee.  The user assumes all responsibility for damages resulting from the use of these features, including, but not limited to, frustration, disgust, system abends, disk head-crashes, general malfeasance, floods, fires, shark attack, nerve gas, locust infestation, cyclones, hurricanes, tsunamis, local electromagnetic disruptions, hydraulic brake system failure, invasion, hashing collisions, normal wear and tear of friction surfaces, comic radiation, inadvertent destruction of sensitive electronic components, windstorms, the Riders of Nazgul, infuriated chickens, malfunctioning mechanical or electrical sexual devices, premature activation of the
distant early warning system, peasant uprisings, halitosis, artillery bombardment, explosions, cave-ins, and/or frogs falling from the sky.” — Smart Bee

I think that should about cover it….. if not, well, I’m sure you’ll let me know what I’ve forgotten, won’t you?…… Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

When budgies sing, eagles sigh…..

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Ffolkes,
“I know I’ve asked this before, but, tell me, what happens to the wide-eyed observer when the window between reality and unreality breaks and the glass begins to fly?” — Smart Bee

A little prophetic license is good for the soul, especially in the night ahead of the morning to come. Let us play no sad tunes, now, when we have so much about which to be happy. All is not lost, said the man with all his data backed up….. Too bad that isn’t me…. For the nonce, gute nacht….

Now it is morning for real…. It must be, because I’m confused and dismayed, a sure sign of the rising of the sun. Not that I live in a depressive world or anything like that…. It’s more like a cartoon world most of the time….. Just make sure when you draw the cartoon, you include some sort of representation of Murphy; he likes to be acknowledged for his work. And, right now, he’s working overtime on my account, to be sure…..

A few days ago, I dropped my laptop, at the coffee shop, and it took a hard fall to the tile floor, right out of my backpack, as I was taking it off prior to sitting down & booting up. It behaved okay then, booting right up & acting normal, but in the last three days, it has been playing fast and loose with normality, giving me fits. First, it doesn’t recognize my password, and boots up into a new user interface. So, I restart, and it hangs. Finally, on the third try yesterday, it booted up…. only to find that Smart Bee was corrupted again. Fine….. I uninstalled it, reloaded it, and it is now fine. Now this morning, it is acting strange again, changing the boot sequence, hanging, and generally acting as if its innards are scrambled…

Noooooooo! I can’t take it. Don’t take my computer away from me, not yet. I can’t afford a new one; hell, I haven’t finished paying for this one yet. Please, gods of computers, and Murphy, leave me the fuck alone for another few weeks, please…. Once I get my SS money, then I can afford to back this computer up with another one, but, if it goes out before then, I am up shit creek without the proverbial paddle, for sure and for certain…. THAT would not be a good thing, as it would put me at extreme risk of hurting someone, should they poke at me at the wrong moment….. Since Murphy is the Universe’s biggest coward (he never sticks around to help people clean up his messes, and he never takes responsibility for his actions…. QED….), and won’t face his victims, somebody else would be in jeopardy of answering for his doing this to me…..

I have no choice but to go on as if nothing is amiss….. the Pearls must go out….. I will be crossing fingers, toes, and eyes to make sure the damn thing keeps working, but, if you don’t see me for a day or two, know that I am down, offline, kaput, and won’t be posting every day as I have been. I can post, but it will require some time on the library’s computers, which can be hard to book when busy. Ah well, wish me luck, ffolkes, as I try to keep my world from falling apart, infrastructurally….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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As I suspected, the news has become a desert….. Since the election settled so many questions that had been paramount, there has been virtually nothing going on that is worth any outrage, and certainly nothing that would stimulate enough angst to produce a rant. The Republicans are all walking around shaking their heads, and wondering where they went wrong, or trying to fool the public into believing they are going to cooperate with the administration (a load of crap if I ever heard one….), and the Democrats can’t stop grinning long enough to get anything done yet…. It’s like watching a video of a particularly exciting Sunday School class….. pretty enough, but boring as hell….

A few items worth discussion have come up…. There is more noise being bandied about regarding gun control again, as I see some folks posting statistics about guns and people getting killed…. What, did they think that all of a sudden, after the election, human nature was going to change? It always amazes me how much outrage, and surprise, people seem to exhibit when another atrocity killing is brought out by a news outlet. People are going to lose their cool, and their control…. that is a fact of life, and a law of nature. It isn’t ever going to change, and wishing otherwise is a fool’s game. In addition to this fact is another…. guns are real. When they are used to kill, it is not as if the gun is responsible, yet people seem to think that allowing the government to regulate who can have guns, and who can’t, will somehow stop all that from happening. It won’t, and thinking it will is the worst sort of self-delusion….

“Gun Control – the belief that government, with its great wisdom and moral superiority, can be trusted with a monopoly on deadly force.”– Smart Bee

Smart Bee has hit upon the main argument against gun control as desired by the idiots who think it will help. Sorry, don’t mean to be derogatory, but it is undeniable, inarguable idiocy to think that the government is capable of controlling itself any more than individuals can; what evidence is there to even hint as much? None, none that can be seen, because there is none that can be produced. If you think that the government has even the slightest intention of using such a monopoly with restraint and integrity, well, then, you are in some serious deep shit in your mind, and seriously need to consider therapy.

Hell, just take a look at recent statistics as to how many civilians have been gunned down by corrupt cops…. it may surprise you to see that the numbers are at least equal to, if not greater than those attributed to civilian citizens. In the town I live in alone, there have been at least seven civilian deaths at the hands of police with guns, just this year, and this is not a particularly large town, nor a particularly violent one.

“Most people seem to think that trampling individual rights is OK if it is “for the good of society as a whole.”  However, society is but a large number of individuals, and how can harming the individual parts better the whole?” — Andrew Ford, forda@agcs.com

Hearing a government official claim that by restricting a right it is good for society as a whole is, to me, the very same as hearing someone wearing robes and a conical, comical hat, claim they are looking out for ‘my’ interests over their own…. I’m not gonna buy it, not now, not ever. There is NO TIME when it is acceptable to restrict an individual’s rights, unless their exercise of that right is denying the rights of another. Doing so is entering the slippery slope that leads to the loss of that right. The good of society does not lie in that direction, but rather in a direction that protects that right, and all of the others we were left as our legacy.

Hearing someone say they are acting “for the good of society” reminds me of the thief saying he is taking my things “for my own good”….. it doesn’t compute. Nor would I trust it if it did…. I may be a cynic, but in this case, I’m right…. The beloved ruling class is NOT going to look out for your best interests, or mine…. No matter how often they say they are, or how often they try to convince you, they are NOT going to do that. They are trying to control you, and screw you, and unless you hold on to your rights, and protect them with your own gun, then they will continue to try to take them away…. Sad, but true….

“Sure, understanding today’s complex world of the future is a little like having bees live in your head.  But there they are . . .” — The Firesign Theater, “I Think We’re All Bozos on this Bus!”

I have made friends with the bees in my head, and they know that I am armed and dangerous, to anyone who tries to convince me that our beloved ruling class has my best interests at heart. They don’t, and I know it, and continued attempts to try to convince me otherwise are not only doomed to failure, but are likely to prompt a response they wont’ be expecting, and one they will regret…. If so, well, all I can say is “just desserts”….
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What If

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I’m dumb in school?
Whatif they’ve closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there’s poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don’t grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won’t bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don’t grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

~~ Shel Silverstein
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I’m feeling curmudgeonly this morning, but also quite lazy. Therefore, old school pearl…. Here is another one that jabs a pointed stick in the eye of religion, as is fairly common ’round these parts….. All of these historical figures, and modern authors, had something to say on the subject, but all in a slightly different way…. which is what makes life interesting, right? Right…. Enjoy, and pay heed, because otherwise those preachers, they’ll getcha…. and they won’t let go…..

“Human, do you know how interesting it is, this thing you describe? Avata does not have a god. How is it that you have a god? Avata has Self, has the universe. But you have a god. Where did you find this god?” — Frank Herbert

“Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane — like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell — mouths mercy and invented hell — mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man’s acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!” — Mark Twain, _The Mysterious Stranger_

“In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.” — Pliny the Elder

“History records no more gallant struggle than that of humanity against the truth.” — whoever Google says it was, if not Smart Bee…

“I believe that ideas such as absolute certitude, absolute exactness, final truth, etc. are figments of the imagination which should not be admissible in any field of science…This loosening of thinking seems to me to be the greatest blessing which modern science has given us. For the belief in a single truth and in being the possessor thereof is the root cause of all evil in the world.” — Max Born

(As perfect proof of this particular assertion, I offer the following unattributed piece of nonsense, that nevertheless is probably one of the most revered items of dogma in many Christian cults…..)

God didn’t call them the 10 suggestions! — Unknown fundie

(If you can’t see how WRONG this statement is, in so many different ways, I have a great deal of pity for you…. Reality is going to really work you over…..)

Under Alabama law, the wearer of a false mustache in church who causes unseemly laughter is subject to arrest.– Smart Bee

Well, there you go…. It all will make sense….. maybe if you just play it backwards….
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Now, this is a Pearl of unusual construction, and more unusual format. Oh, not much is changed, but, enough that I felt the difference as I was trying to put it together. But, it is not really worth discussion, so we’ll ignore it altogether, and get on with the day…. Some might say I’ve held it up long enough as it is…. Not that I care what folks say, much…. only certain folks, which is as it should be, for all of us….. Since I don’t have any idea how to proceed from here, I’m going to have to bring this to a close, as is…..   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!