Just stuff another paradox in there; it’ll burn….

Ffolkes,

A few days ago, I received a notification from WordPress that I had reached my second anniversary of publishing this blog. At the time, I had posted 792 times, about 30 of which were re-blogs. I find myself uncertain of how I feel about it, beyond the initial sense of accomplishment at having completed that many posts, regardless of their worth as literature. As therapy, it wasn’t the most elegant or intensive I’ve ever performed, but, it worked, having kept me from turning into a blithering idiot, sitting on the floor, dirty, rocking and chanting to myself while I pick at my skin….

Now, I’ll admit, it is not a foregone conclusion that I wouldn’t have made it through my period of isolation and poverty without going mad, though some would say that destination isn’t a very long journey for me, considering where I am starting from…. but, I know myself, and though I’ve never given in to the world’s intense pressure before, I am not sure I was strong enough, physically, or emotionally, to make it as well as I did, by using my writing as a way to keep from making that journey. Since I did make it through without succumbing to my pain and fear, it becomes a moot point, and isn’t something I particularly wish to dwell upon; in contrast to what I wrote much of the time, I didn’t much enjoy that time, not after Noah passed on, and I became truly alone…..

Today, I am past that time, and the issues that caused that state of mind are no longer present. This has changed my inner state, as might be expected, making me much stronger, as I’m not so often beset and overcome by any of my fears, because the means to deal with those fears is now part of my bag of resources. It’s hard to understand just how powerful it can affect one’s entire existence to be free of fear…. It has a way of freeing the mind, removing all the distracting emotional content from certain patterns of thought, content that can slow down the mind, or affect its ability to adapt and deal with the issues that arise in our lives…. Without fear to slow us down, we are much better able to enjoy life, as it doesn’t cause us the same emotional distress as when we allow the fear to hold sway….

In truth, this is a lesson I learned long ago, when I was first involved in the martial arts, and knowing it allowed me to work in a field that encompassed a lot of violence, without ever getting injured physically…. mentally is another story, but, this is just the intro section, and we’re already off track by quite a distance, so we’ll not get into that just now…. However, suffice it to say, fear, of the unknown, of violence, or based on lack of self-confidence, is a very powerful force in our lives, and it is critical for us to understand it in ourselves, and learn how to keep it from affecting how we deal with the world. When we try to deal with the universe under the influence of our fears, we fail, every time…. When we learn to let our fear pass over, and through us, without letting it alter our behavior, then we learn to succeed in the world….

Simply put, fear can either make our life a living hell, or we can remove its influence, refusing to allow it to affect how we will live, and, as a result, learn to enjoy the inner peace that comes with that knowledge…. It’s really that simple, ffolkes, and not all that hard, once one gives up the attachment to their fears that has developed over time…. People are often afraid to give them up, as they are more afraid of what is out there to replace them…. Like most folks, they are happier with the devil they know…. So be it, it is only themselves that will suffer for that…. Well, until they get elected, then, their fear and ignorance has a tendency to spill over…. Any who….

Shall we Pearl?….

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

— Theodore Roethke
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The above introduction may have clued y’all in to where my head is today, to wit: your guess is as good as mine….. No, I’m distracted today, by thoughts of moving at the end of the month (week), fragments of a poem that has been percolating, stuff to do today out in the BBR, and, of course, the background muttering that is always there, my personal running commentary on what I perceive, and what my inner self is thinking about it…. What, y’all don’t do that? Hmm…. well, I have always had this little voice running in the back of my mind, sort of like an inner sportscaster/color commentator, looking at the world through my eyes, and commenting on what they see, and what I feel about it…..

“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one’s head.” — Mark Twain

Does this make me strange? Probably…. I don’t much care, as whoever it is in there doing the commentary is a frigging funny guy, constantly  cracking me up with the reactions they give to what I see or hear….. But, I digress, as usual….

This will be an old-school pearl, because that is what I want to do now, and that’s the way it is, so, that’s the way it will be…. I guess I’m getting cranky, what with all the blather I’ve had to put out so far, just to get to this point…. I’m not used to so much typing right off the bat…. Carpal tunnel’s starting to complain, so, we’d best go on to the next stage…. I don’t know, or can’t say, just what the search parameters for this one will be, as I haven’t decided, and it is time to begin, so, tread carefully…. the path could get a bit dodgy to see, and you don’t  want to get off the path….

“Share everything.  Don’t take things that aren’t yours.  Put things back where you found them.” — Robert Fulghum, “Everything I Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten…”

“Be polite to all, but intimate with few.” — Thomas Jefferson

“A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.” — Doug Larson

“My father was a God-fearing man, but he never missed a copy of the New York Times, either.” — E. B. White

“It is not a fish until it is on the bank.” — Irish Proverb

“Don’t try to have the last word. You might get it.” — Lazarus Long

“I feel better about world problems now!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Well, that came out better than I’d hoped…. a bit loose around the edges, but still fairly obscure… I like it, so it stays…. No more argument, now, I’ve decided, and that’s it…. Never mind…. We’ll just go on now, and forget it ever happened…
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The last couplet of this poem is a somewhat famous quote, used to illustrate many points of discussion….. I just like the poem itself….

A Vision of Poets

There Shakespeare, on whose forehead climb
The crowns o’ the world; oh, eyes sublime
With tears and laughter for all time!
And Chaucer, with his infantine
Familiar clasp of things divine.
And Marlowe, Webster, Fletcher, Ben,
Whose fire-hearts sowed our furrows when
The world was worthy of such men.
Knowledge by suffering entereth,
And life is perfected by death.

~~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning ~~

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I am indeed feeling “differently” today…. so much so that my mind has created a new kind of pearl…. Below are three quotes/statements of position/ideas…. Together, they form a pretty good scale of life, in terms of how it needs to be lived…. These describe the high end of the scale, the low end, and, a middle point, which will show the way…. Enjoy this new kind of puzzle for the mind, ffolkes, and be prepared to use your anti-motion sickness pills, as there are some rather sharp turns along the way to the end of this particular ride…..

Deteriorata

Go placidly amid the noise and waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons   unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys; know what to kiss and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment and despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance … Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face … Reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be–Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. Give up. — Tony Hendra


“Not all who wander are lost.” — J. R. R. Tolkien

“We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prophet, nor Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among themselves about their relationship to God. But all will agree on a proposition that they possess profound spiritual resources.  If, in addition, we can get them to accept the further proposition that whatever form the Deity may have in their own theology, the Deity is not only external, but internal and acts through them, and they themselves give proof or disproof of the Deity in what they do and think; if this further proposition can be accepted, then we come that much closer to a truly religious situation on earth.” — Norman Cousins, from his book “Human Options”
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I am, as usual, unsure whether or not what I’ve done today is what can be called literature, but, it is definitely done, so, it will have to do for the time being…. I’ve got too much to do today to start over, even if I go to the archives, and I’m not going there today…. Any who, let’s see just what happened here this morning….

Okay, well, that’s different; what happened is completely outside my experience, and well beyond my ability to analyze, or describe in any meaningful way… Nothing new there, right? Since it’s done, and I have so much to do, I pronounce it finished, and will now take my leave, post haste… Until tomorrow….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

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Building euphemisms on a budget….

Ffolkes,
Powerful images often parade through my mind in the early morning, images I try to set down into words. I’m not always as successful at it as I’d like to be, but, occasionally, I get it right. When I do, there is no better feeling in the world, aside from an orgasm, which, as we all know, is commonly used as a benchmark for such events. Currently, that particular unique category of event is absent from my existence, but, as I recall, from the halcyon days of my youth, it feels pretty damn good, so, you’ll get the idea….

Some day, perhaps, I’ll finish one of the stories I’ve begun here; over the past two-plus years I’ve probably written 50 or so opening paragraphs for stories that crossed through the waiting room in my head, some of which were, in my humble opinion, not too shabby at all. I’ve yet to complete any of those tales, however, for a compelling reason, having to do with economic factors. Now that I’m retired on disability, any income I make from working, a category into which the writing and selling of stories falls, is to be reported as income, and would be taken out of whatever I make on disability.

So, unless I can make a sale of a book worth more than a million dollars, it isn’t worthwhile for me to enter the market at all, because all I make would be subtracted from my disability checks, and I’d be right back where I started, depending on the market for my work to keep me alive, for the rest of my life…. Since I just spent two and a half years in near poverty in the process of securing my disability income, and am tired to death of working to survive, it doesn’t make economic, or physical, sense for me to try to write for my money…. Not without a guaranteed contract of some kind that would make moot any money I would make from disability benefits….

Besides, I don’t write for fame, or money, or any of the common reasons people write…. As I’ve stated in the past, this process is designed to keep me in a state of ‘relative’ sanity (qualifier required by law….)…. I say relative because, as you know, staying close to sane isn’t part of my lifestyle; what most would call sanity, I call boring, and boredom has been banished from my existence. I refuse to be bored, especially by Life At Large; to admit boredom is to admit one is tired of what is going on in one’s own head, and that I will never do…. Bully for me, right?….

So, rather than try to make any money at this, I write for fun, and for release…. I write to express all the outrage I feel at the ongoing, dangerous antics of the Beloved Ruling Class, otherwise known as Pundits R’Us,  comprised of sycophants of the Corporate Masters, and the Priestly Hierarchies, along with those ever-amusing public servants, the Police and Paramilitary Wannabe’s, all of whom, by their total lack of ethical compass, provide me with endless fodder for my angst, fueling my sense of injustice and need to rant on a daily basis. It’s actually quite an easy task, what with the amount of crap that spews out of their mouths every day….

Now that I’ve thoroughly explored such a thrilling subject, I will show mercy, and get on with the day’s missive. I’ve meandered and blathered enough for TWO intro sections, but, don’t worry, I won’t subject you to two posts at once…. Just consider it a bonus, and for goodness’ sake, don’t report it on the customs list of items to declare before entering or exiting the country….. I pay enough taxes without adding in customs duties…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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Okay, I’m amused…. It’s been a while since I saw this particular little piece of nonsense, and I’d forgotten how amusing it is…. So, just to start the day out right, I’ll put it in here, as a kind of peace offering for the above ramble…. No thinking required, and if you need to feel morally justified about reading this, just pretend that you’re only doing so because you intend to use each line as an ANTI-cultural shock infusion, and can’t be held responsible for any of its shortcomings as literature…. Hell, half the folks you say that to will believe it, and the other half will ignore you, so, all is good…. Just enjoy, ffolkes, it’s pretty good advice, taken as suggested, with a shitload of salt….

Deteriorata

Go placidly amid the noise and waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself and heed well their advice, even though they be  turkeys; know what to kiss and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be  comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment and despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer  maintenance … Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face … Reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back. Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive him to be–Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate.  Give up.”

~~ Tony Hendra ~~


Hell, I gave up years ago….. Entropy is alive and well, and coming soon to a theater near you…
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Over the last six months, I have been falling into love, slowly and beautifully, with my neighbor, Patricia…. I’ve been reluctant to share a lot of it, as it is, of course, private, and I don’t want to put that sort of thing out on the street, so to speak…. Though I write a lot of personal revelations, I don’t intend to put ALL of my feelings out there for review by the public, even if it is limited to the few ffolkes who stop by to read my always-longer-than-expected pieces…. Also, she is a very private person, and I’m not going to share HER stuff online at all….

But, I have to confess, I am enjoying the process, even as I take it super-slowly, to make sure neither of us is making a mistake about our feelings… So far, so good…. In keeping with the spirit of good feeling I have in this respect, here is a poem from one of the acknowledged masters of romantic poetry…. and look, it’s a love poem! What do you know about that?…..   🙂

Air And Angels

Twice or thrice had I loved thee,
Before I knew thy face or name;
So in a voice, so in a shapeless flame,
Angels affect us oft, and worshiped be;
Still when, to where thou wert, I came,
Some lovely glorious nothing I did see.
But since my soul, whose child love is,
Takes limbs of flesh, and else could nothing do,
More subtle than the parent is,
Love must not be, but take a body too;
And therefore what thou wert, and who,
I bid love ask, and now
That it assume thy body I allow,
And fix itself to thy lip, eye, and brow.

Whilst thus to ballast love I thought,
And so more steadily to have gone,
With wares which would sink admiration,
I saw I had love’s pinnace overfraught
Every thy hair for love to work upon
Is much too much, some fitter must be sought;
For, nor in nothing, nor in things
Extreme and scatt’ring bright, can love inhere.
Then as an angel, face and wings
Of air, not pure as it, yet pure doth wear,
So thy love may be my love’s sphere.
Just such disparity
As is ‘twixt air and angel’s purity,
‘Twixt women’s love and men’s will ever be.

~~ John Donne ~~


“What is a poet? A poet is an unhappy being whose heart is torn by secret sufferings, but whose lips are so strangely formed that when the sighs and cries escape them,they sound like beautiful music.” — Soren Kierkegaard, in Either/Or
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“Nevertheless, in the system of Copernicus there are found many and great inconveniences; for both the loading of the earth with a triple motion is very incommodious, and the separation of the sun from the company of the planets, with which it has so many passions in common, is likewise a difficulty, and the introduction of so much immobility in nature, by representing the sun and stars as immovable, especially being of all bodies the highest and most radiant, and making the moon revolve about the earth in an epicycle, and some other assumptions of his, are the speculations of one who cares not what fictions he introduces into nature, provided his calculations answer.” — Francis Bacon, Descriptio Globi Intellectualis, 1653

In his time, Frank Bacon (Oh…… no wonder he went by Francis!….), was considered a learned man; even now, he is regarded as one of the brightest minds of his era…. which does not go far toward explaining this statement. As is patently obvious, according to what we now know, Frank is talking with his head firmly planted up his ass; every one of his objections to Copernicus’ work is WRONG. We know now that the Copernican system of physical construction of the solar system, and all the stars and galaxies, is the closest to reality, when compared amongst all of the ancient ideas on the subject.

No, Frank was being a coward here…. He was afraid of the churches of the time, as well he might have been, for the churches of the middle ages were notorious for their intransigence when it came to what they defined as heresy…. So, Frank, being the mealy-mouthed opportunist that he was, dutifully issued this condemnation of Copernicus’ theories, to satisfy the priests, and get on their good side…. I have a feeling that he KNEW he was being a bald-faced liar in this instance…. it’s too wordy, and too UN-scientific in nature to disguise his lack of truth, and gives me the impression that he would have found it difficult to state this aloud, with a straight face….

“Appearances deceive and this one maxim is a standing rule: Men are not what they seem.” — Harvard

The point I’m making here, or trying to make, is this: People lie…. They do it for a lot of reasons, but, regardless of whether it is justified, or not, by whatever standards one chooses to apply, they still lie…. Mostly they do it for reasons that are not particularly public minded; humanity, as a rule, finds it hard to act other than in their own self-interest, even when acting honorably. It is the rare man, or woman, who makes their decisions based on the public good on a consistent basis….

This, of course, is merely my observation, but, I think it’s fairly accurate, given my age, and how much I’ve watched people for my entire life. Most folks act in their own self-interests FIRST; they may act otherwise AFTER they are satisfied they’ve achieved their own ends, but, it will be an afterthought, and may also be designed to benefit themselves more than anyone else…. There are very few who act with honor in this respect, and I don’t exclude myself from this; I’m no saint, to be sure…. But, I think that Truth is more important to me than to most of the people I see out in the BBR, and that, I think, causes me to have a clearer view of reality than those who color it with their own preconceived notions of right and wrong, with right being what is good for them, not for anyone else, necessarily….

“He who would distinguish the true from the false must have an adequate idea of what is true and false.” — Smart Bee

How often do we meet someone who even attempts to find out the truth? Most people, from what I observe, tend to just accept whatever they are told, preferring the abrogation of responsibility for their own opinions to having to spend the mental effort to find out what is true…. It is an all-too-human characteristic to want to have someone else take the responsibility for all of that; thinking takes effort, and most folks aren’t willing to put forth that effort, no matter how often they are told they are being lied to, even if the telling comes with proof…. They prefer to let anyone who appears on TV show them, preferably with lots of bright, colorful pictures, just what they should think and feel….

SIGH…. I’m depressed now. This is an issue that burns my ass on a daily basis, because it is not amenable to resolution, at least, not any easy, peaceful resolution. It is the very nature of humankind that allows this kind of chicanery; this has been true for all of our history, and will remain so until our untimely demise, somewhere in the not so distant future….

I wish I could entertain hope for enough changes in society that we, as a species, would conceivably stand a chance of survival, but, given the stubbornness of even the most average person in resisting any kind of cogitation, I don’t hold out a lot of hope for it, not in the long run. Humans aren’t going to stop acting in their own self-interest, and it’s a damn shame there isn’t much that can be done…

“What is man’s chief enemy? Each man is his own.” — Anacharsis (f1. c. 600 B.C.), Scythian philosopher — Quoted in Stobaeus, Flor., II, 43
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Such is the life of an itinerant dilettante…. Sorry ’bout the depressing rant in section 3; sometimes the human race just annoys me. However, since I am a fully cognizant member of that species, my annoyance has no real meaning beyond its effect on me, and, concomitantly, on what I write…. Hopefully, the depressive nature of the above discussion isn’t catching, and won’t spoil anyone’s day…

It won’t spoil mine; like most of us humans, I’m really quite adept at denial, and I don’t mean the river in Egypt….. (Sorry, couldn’t resist…..)  On that silly note, I bid thee adieu for another day, and hope you have a day filled with love and light, regardless of the weather…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3