Breaking News!… Christie, Obama both wear paisley pants to give State of Union: film at 11….


I still find some of my humor, and a great deal of wonder, at the beauty and majesty of the universe, right here inside my head….. which, if you stop to think about it, is a good place for it to be.      😉  Today, I’m struck by how little terror the empty screen holds for me, in contrast to the last couple of days, when it seemed as if I was to be forever destined to look at my writing in the Hunter S. Thompson manner, which is to say, with fear and loathing well established as our starting point… In essence, it’s a living-on-the-edge, damn-the-torpedoes, full-speed-ahead, let-Chaos-rule sort of viewpoint, complete with bloodshot, weary eyes, no shave, and a grim outlook on people, and life at large….

On the other hand, it’s morning again, and thanks to our resident furry alarm clock, I’m up and typing, coffee in hand, (it’s harder than it sounds….), wondering where my whimsy will lead us today…. I’ve got a lot to do out in the BBR today, so I want to be done with this in a timely fashion…. Since I’m also feeling like I should keep it all fresh today, I’d best not fool around too long here in the intro, and just get into the meat of today’s effort….

I’m a huge carnivore, (never understood why people fight against evolution….), and, Leonardo da Vinci’s patent vegetarianism notwithstanding, don’t believe ANY of the hype I hear from the rabbits who follow that belief….. Sorry, ffolkes, a good steak just makes my whole persona feel right, so I have no intention of spending half my life hungry, wondering if I should kill and eat the nearest, handy vegan….

Hmm…. I’m not sure just what happened there, or how we got to that particular point in my craziness….. The mere mention of meat shouldn’t be  sufficient stimulus for that sort of outbreak of curmudgeonry, especially when used in a metaphoric sense. It must have been one of those psychosomatic anomalies that occasionally strike all of us, sort of a crossing of wires in the brain that causes the meanings of words to turn from one meaning to another, without warning or intent…. I suppose we could name it a form of literary epilepsy, whose seizure activity is characterized in this manner, with shifts in mental paradigm, often without warning…..

Fortunately for all of us, I DO know what paradigms are, so we won’t have any problems with the grammar police, or the dictionary nerds. Plus, I have one of those discount cards, that gives us permission to use any and all such terms without penalty, even if used incorrectly (which doesn’t happen here, of course….). Besides, we’re almost to the end here, and I can pretty much do as I wish at this point: it won’t affect the final scoring at all…. Of course, y’all know what this means, don’t you? Yep…. It’s time to dive….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Down with ignurance!” — Smart Bee

“I have formed a very clear conception of patriotism. I have generally found it thrust into the foreground by some fellow who has something to hide in the background. I have seen a great deal of patriotism; and I have generally found it the last refuge of the scoundrel.” — G. K. Chesterton, The Judgement of Dr. Johnson, Act III

This, of course, is a perfect lead-in for a righteous rant about the Beloved Ruling Class, and all the other Asininnies who make our world such a difficult place to live. I have the outrage, I have the vocabulary, and I have the target…. What I don’t have today is an issue…. I just went over to peruse the headlines at a news site, and nothing strikes me as anything more egregious than usual…. Wells Fargo is complaining about something affecting their bottom line…. California officials are complaining that solar energy is making it hard for utilities to make any money…. Another mass shooting, this time at a university, and a case of one police officer shooting another, so, I COULD, I guess rant on gun control again….

But, I don’t FEEL like gun control today…. It would be a fairly easy one, as we have another crazy person running around shooting at innocents at Princeton (OMG, it’s someone who hates future Ivy League lawyers!….. I wondered where my brother went….), as well as another case of a policeman using his weapon to demonstrate my contention perfectly, that the police are no more able to use them with any intelligence than is anyone else…. I haven’t read the article yet, just saw the headline, but, no matter why this man shot his partner, it was obviously NOT an example of them acting as if they had any real sense, or integrity…. Unless, of course, he shot the guy to protect someone else, in which case there MIGHT be some excuse for his actions, depending on other factors as well…

I could get back into my rants from the last couple of days; there is still plenty to explore in the spying issue, but, nobody put anything newsworthy up yet today on that subject, so I’ll wait for the next round of lies to come out of the White House before commenting again…. Seems only fair to let them throw out their best shots, so I can shoot them down as they come, rather than spending my time poking at them before they’ve spoken…. They’re too easy a target at that point, and I like a bit more of a challenge in my ranting…..

So, what we’ll do here, to soothe my spirit from NOT having the release of a good rant to help out this morning, is to go to Smart Bee, where we’ll look for some of what I like to call “indictment” pearls, to take some well-deserved shots at the BRC, along with whomever else in the group of Asininnies I can find ammunition for…. Shall we Pearl?….

“If we applied government standards for determining the amount of salt in food to the question of how much matter there is in the universe, we would conclude that the universe is matter-free.” — Kolak & Martin, Wisdom without Answers

“Why is it that there are so many more horses’ asses than there are horses?” — G. Gordon Liddy

“Honesty isn’t any policy at all; it’s a state of mind or it isn’t honesty.” — Eugene L’Hote

“In America, you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.” — Groucho Marx

De la peau de lion l’ane s’etant vetu, Etoit craint partout a la ronde. (Dressed in the lion’s skin, the ass spread terror far and wide.) — Jean de la Fontaine (1621-1695)

An Elementary-School student’s comment on politics: “Some of our presidents never did much else and are famous only because they became president.” — Smart Bee

“Fetch the holy hand grenade …” — Monty Python

Okay, so, I guess I have to confess…. No, I don’t always know what a pearl will do, or say, when it comes down to it…. But, it always seems to work out, so, having worked for the government myself in various capacities for quite some time, close enough is good enough for me….

The Dalai Lama has told us “We were put on this world to be of help to others, and if you can’t be of help, at least do no harm.” To honor that good advice, as well as the compassion behind it, here is one of my own poems, from some time in 2012, about the process of writing, as it occurs in me….

Painful candor

I sit, and ponder, then try to write…
seeking always to keep from sounding trite.
My record so far is less than grand;
we’ll not be striking up the hometown band.

Poems come to me, with cadence and rhyme,
that’s the easy part, every time.
Finding words of wisdom herein to include,
makes short shrift, however, of my attitude.

Still the words keep floating up in my head,
harbingers of danger, of wisdom, of dread.
Challenge is issued, in the weight of persuasion
Fey shadows of intent for any bright occasion.

Following along becomes habit and routine,
which naturally tells us where we have been.
New vistas beckon just out of sight
Pulling me forward, from day into night……

~~ gigoid ~~


I’ve already given you more than enough justification for me to avoid ranting today; I have the distinct feeling that it wouldn’t work out well, for me, or for the universe at large, so, I’m going to continue the current policy of NOT getting too involved in reality today, beyond the issues that already have priority appointments with my attention-span.

That said, I’ll put together another old-school pearl for this section, hoping that Smart Bee is in the mood to help out a little with the selection process…. Only time will tell, so, we may as well be getting on with it…. After you…. Oh, and keep that safety harness snapped to the life-line, okay? The insurance folks get all hot and bothered when we forget to remind y’all…. Don’t know why, they’d just raise the rates if anyone dared make a claim…. as is their standard policy…. Hmm, maybe there IS a rant in there…. Nah!….

“I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.” — Kehlog Albran, The Profit

(Hah! See, now, you KNOW this one isn’t real, because, hey, future, longer? Boy, is that one backwards!…. If anything, our future is shorter, by several millennia….)

“Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.” — Frank McKinney Hubbard (1868-1930), “Abe Martin’s Broadcast”, 1930

(Innocence never lasts long there, though, as we all know their primary function is the rape of the public treasury, so, I’m sure any innocents who end up in the legislature lose it fairly rapidly…. and, sorry, I got distracted…. This will be the last comment, lest I begin to rant inadvertently…..)

“If a person wants to be atheistic it’s his God-given right to be an atheist” — Michael Patton

“Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic, for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.” — Robert Lindner

“Truth is sacred; and if you tell the truth too often nobody will believe it.” — G. K. Chesterton, ILN, 2/24/06

“And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have a sense of humor, as does history.  Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks tragedy, and this too is historic.  And yet, still, when corn meets tragedy face to face, we have politics. — Dalglish, Larsen and Sutherland, “Root Crops and Ground Cover”

“A fool and his words are soon parted.” — William Shenstone

This one almost got away from me, but, on that final note, we’ll call our battle with coherency a draw, and leave it at that…..

The video on the screen shows a small room, looking at the corner, where, in front of two windows, one on each wall, a desk sits, laptop open in a position of prominence, with a healthy-looking printer on a pedestal, and shredder next to the desk, by the table to the right, on the floor. In the old, ratty 1950’s style office chair in front of the desk sits a grizzled character, medium height, thick build, sporting a long ponytail, held back by two bands, folding the receding remnants of salt and pepper hair, that would otherwise have stretched nearly to his hips, down his back into a disciplined work mode…. Typing madly, brow furrowed in concentration, he pauses to move his torso in an odd fashion, apparently stretching the muscles in the back… As he does, he winces, as obvious pain strikes somewhere, then, setting his face again, he attacks the keyboard….

Mumbling to himself, he bursts out suddenly, “Assholes!”, then types madly for a long period…. All of a sudden, he stops, stares at the screen, laughs quietly, then, rubbing his hands over his face, takes a sip of the tall coffee cup at the end of the table…. He gazes  at the screen, reading, makes a few small edits, then uses the mouse for a few moments…. Again, he gets up, and leaves the room, and is gone for ten or more minutes…. Upon returning, he sits, clicks the mouse once, turns around, suddenly looking directly into the camera…. “Surprise!”, he says, “it’s all just a dream, and you aren’t REAL!”….. With that, he turns to the keyboard, and ignoring the camera, begins to type again…..

I thought it might be fun to do a bit of fantasy fictional writing, to practice my descriptive skills….. In case those skills aren’t as powerful as I would have liked them to be, I’ll just break down and verify that, Yes, that was a picture of me, in gigoid mode, constructing a Pearl, and, No, I won’t be doing it again…. I just thought it worked here, and, since I was right, I’m not going to worry about whether or not it A) makes any sense, or B) makes any difference, in anything…. See, karmic neutrality, and literary integrity, all in one swell foop…. I, having done ALL the possible damage I can do, am outta here…. See ya….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.