C’mon, we’ll ask the elevator elf….

Ffolkes,

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.”

~~ Garrison Keillor ~~

Leelu 11-2015 002

Leelu demonstrating some serious relaxation skills….


Hajime…. The battle begins anew, but, with true Sun Tzu-like efficiency, ’tis already won. Most of what you see below is done; what I’m writing now is fresh. But, those are two separate occasions in time, as much of the material below, though ALL fresh as the day, was done at various times in the past two or three days, as the urge struck, or an idea grabbed me & pulled me to the keyboard (which, I might add, both Leelu and I think is pretty odd behavior….)

It’s odd. I mean, even for me. I can’t think of a single nonsensical thing to say. I mean, other than just saying that. It really doesn’t make much sense to say I can’t make nonsense, when saying so is nonsense itself, now, can I? No, of course not. That would be rude, and possibly could be construed as literary pandering, of the most egregious sort. We’d never do that sort of thing to OUR readers. Of course not, so, just put it out of your minds.

What I can say about it is this; diddly-squat is still diddly-squat, six syllable words or not, right? So, I think, given our predilection for using them gives us the cache, if not the legal right, to use either sense, or nonsense, at our discretion, should we ever find any. We are, after all, not only trained professionals, we are now hopelessly stuck in the royal ‘we’ mode of speaking. Such a bother! We hate when that happens.

Okay, I’ll stop now. I don’t much like the royals, anyway; too many ties to some rather nasty people for my taste. But, that’s neither here, nor there, nor anywhere, which, I believe, is exactly where we are now. Take your pick. Me, I’m going to take my leave, for bigger and better things. Well, other things, one may hope. Luigi will take y’all where you need to go, and, I’ll see you at the closing section…. Oh, you might want to put down your beverages; Luigi gets a bit rambunctious when he’s on his own….

Shall we Pearl?….

“Where ignorance is bliss, ’tis folly to be wise.”

~~ Gray ~~


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JANIS_JOPLIN_pearl_album_cover__

Pearl, Herself

Image from rollingstone.com via Google Images


I read somewhere about a rumored new biopic of Janis’ life and/or times. In honor of that possibility, and, as an excuse to listen to this again, here is possibly her best album, with, I hope, some decent quality sound. It has to be LOUD, you know, to get the full effect, and all the nuances of her voice…. Enjoy, ffolkes; there was nobody like Janis Joplin. Ever.

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Janis Joplin
Pearl

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Dont keep calm

“I am further of opinion that it would be better for us to have [no laws] at all than to have them in so prodigious numbers as we have.” — Michel Eyquem de Montaigne (1533-1592) — Essays, Book iii, Chap. xiii

Mssr. de Montaigne, with his plaintive observation of the events of the sixteenth century (in the midst of the Renaissance in European history), he sends an eerily appropriate message to us who live in the twenty-first century. I, too, have come to the firm opinion that anarchy would be preferable to much of what I see happening in the world today. From all I can see, there isn’t much of a future for our species, unless we make a significant change in the way we A) treat our planet, and B) treat each other…..

The only question in my mind at this point is which of these two severely explosive issues, each of which can conceivably lead to the total extinction of our species, will come first to a point of no-return. Both are rife with the possibility of imminent explosion, into such conflagration the world has not seen since the last time this happened (if it did; some say so, though, I don’t see a lot of physical evidence, just racial memory….).

If the society of the world reaches flash point, there are SEVEN BILLION people, all of whom will revert to the law of the jungle in a heartbeat, if it comes down to “me or them”. With the weaponry and technology available today, there is little doubt anyone left living will live at a level similar to how our species lived before the age of electricity.

If the environment reaches one of a number of critical points, there will be no way to stop whatever occurs from happening, for we cannot know exactly how it will happen, nor what will stop what we don’t know of…. All we do know is, if one of two or three events occur, our planet will no longer support life in our form…. at all. It is entirely possible we won’t even be able to breathe the atmosphere that remains on the planet, if certain chemical reactions reach a critical point…. It’s possible there wouldn’t be any oxygen in it to breathe….

“Animals can be driven crazy by putting too many in too small a pen. Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.” — Lazarus Long, from Robert A. Heinlein’s — “Time Enough For Love”

What we are witnessing today, every day, is a very real, graphic example of the truth of this assertion from Lazarus. I’m sure all of us remember the high school science class where we read about, or saw the film about, what happens when rats are put into cages and allowed to breed indiscriminately; the resultant pictures were anything but pretty. Imagine the scenes from our future, if we continue to stretch the resources of our “cage” as we have been doing, without any thought for the future, for many too many centuries…. We have acted as if it was all ours to use as we saw fit, and what we saw has been anything but fit…..

“Hello…  IRON CURTAIN?  Send over a SAUSAGE PIZZA! World War III?  No thanks!” — Zippy the Pinhead

People are going to reach the same point as did the rats; count on it. (Especially when they figure out they can’t order any pizza!….) And, there are a LOT of us our here who don’t want to die. So, it’s going to get ugly, ffolkes; I don’t see much of any way to avoid what is coming, because the forces of history, and of climate, are too large and ponderous to stop in time…. Negative, yes; also realistic. All we can do is all we can do, and that’s be prepared, to live, and to help those we care for to live, long enough to see if the light of reason will ever shine again in this world gone dark.

I’ll tell you one thing. I don’t intend to go down easily; I’ll be using the lesson one of our greatest poets gave us, when he wrote,

“Do not go gentle into that good night

but rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

~~ Dylan Thomas ~~


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Comedy_Tragedy

    For me, some poems bleed out; some just leak. Others have to be squeezed out, but, this one, this sort of oozed out last night as I sat thinking about…. well, stuff. Don’t ask me what it means, not yet. I’m not sure anything I tell you would be anywhere near the truth…. All I know is, I feel better.

Infidelia

There’s a certain
panache,
almost a feeling of
glory,
one feels
upon returning

from

Hell

to

Purgatory.

Or,
so those say,
who say those
sorts of things,
I guess.

I don’t know,

for sure.

I didn’t go

there.

I only went

to

Hell.

I only live

in

Purgatory.

But,

I like it.

Right now,

anyway.

Other times,

not

so much.

It’s not bad,
if I don’t
think.

Sigh.

Too bad.
I
do.

~~ gigoid ~~


Written 11/17/2015.

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magicat

    I hardly know what to say of this pearl; all of those chosen were offered up without any particular difficulty by Smart Bee, and, each and every one of them is a gem of particular value, in terms of pearls of virtual wisdom. Heck, I could easily write a thousand words in support of each, or, use any one to illustrate some point about modern society. Together, I can’t quite grasp what they are attempting to convey; perhaps y’all have an idea. I had one thought, which is to, perhaps, switch them around a bit, to find the order that brings them all into focus…. At any rate, just thinking about any of them tends to work the mind in a way that can’t hurt, unless one is not accustomed to such activity…. Have fun, it’s a nine-star glittering gem, with a crashing great final pearl…. Well, I think so….

“The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.” — Aristotle

“One does evil enough when one does nothing good.” — German Proverb

“You should go to a pear-tree for pears, not to an elm.” — Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 674

“The more one judges, the less one loves.” — Honore de Balzac

“I love to doubt as well as know.” — Dante

“In art as in life, form and subject, body and soul, are one.” — Edward Abbey

“I change myself, I change the world.” — Gloria Anzaldua

“The supreme irony of life is hardly anyone ever gets out of it alive.” — Robert Heinlein

“Death the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening.” — Sir Walter Scott


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There you go, ffolkes. I can’t do it any better than that. I’m not even going to TRY to top any of it here in the closing section. I’ll merely note my relief, and happiness y’all made it this far, and, without any injury, or reports of impending litigation. NOW I’m done. See y’all tomorrow, ffolkes, for sure and for certain. How can we be certain? Well, it’s like Charles Schulz (Yep, him; ‘Peanuts’) once said, “Don’t worry about the world ending today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Ta, then, luvs….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch

dozer3


À bientôt, mon cherí….


			

Running with the Rabbits….

Ffolkes,

“It is sometimes expedient to forget who we are.”

~~ Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 233 ~~

de3acf3a-9b84-480f-92bb-1125956bd3b0Weather.com Amateur Photo Contest Entry


Now I know…. I’ve wondered, but, this proves it beyond all doubt…. When y’all hear, or see, me say that, in that way, you may rest assured the concept involved has been doubted, investigated, and proven by factual evidence one can hold in their hand, or see with their own eyes…. at the same time, preferably. So, with the final piece of evidence in hand, I can pronounce this to be fact….

What? Oh, right, sorry…. I’m referring, of course, to Pearling…. I’ve often wondered if I had chosen wisely, to make this process the lynch pin, so to speak, of my entire life, responsible in great part for any sanity I may be fortunate to possess. Now, I am up almost two hours later than has been my habit for months (thanks to ignorant doctors….), to perform an act which has no real purpose beyond what I’ve just mentioned. Yet, because I am late, feel like I’m in White Rabbit mode, all fussed and bothered because I’m late, guilty, Guilty GUILTY!…. Humph!

Nobody is paying me. Nobody will miss any deadlines. Nobody will die (that isn’t scheduled to do so by Fate). No animals will be harmed. But, I feel guilty, for not getting posted by this time, but, horror of horrors, got more than 3 hours sleep for the first time in almost seven weeks…. That means two things…. First, I got lucky last night…. NO, no, not THAT kind of lucky, though the young lady who helped me out IS quite pretty. No, one of the budtenders from the collective where I get my cannabis products came by to deliver an order, & was kind enough to apply some magic cream to my entier back for me, to reach where I cannot….

Glorious! The magic cream made me feel almost normal for nearly two hours, putting me in an almost giddy mood….. THAT is why I was lucky….sheesh. Y’ll should get your minds out of the gutter…. Any who, after that, I slept, not like a baby, which wakes up often, and wets the bed, but, like an adult with a clear conscience, i.e. peacefully…. Well, as much as ever happens, all to the good, in my book…. I woke up, saw the clock, and rejoiced, as I groaned, knowing the guilt would drive me like a Cadillac….

Now y’all have been treated to five or six paragraphs of chatty nonsense, none of which has anything to do with this Pearl, other than peripherally, I think I’ll get a move on, to see if I can’t finish this quickly, get it posted, and bring an end to the guilt…. Oh, I just realized, I never did say what the hell I was talking about up there, did I? Well, the presence of my guilt, which I ONLY feel when abrogating Duty, indicates to me that Pearling IS the proper job for me, at this point in my life…. So, the pressure I put on myself to get it done each day, having written as well as I can, is my chosen Duty, which makes it okay to feel the guilt, for a moment…

The rest of course, was just babbling, to get us to this point, where we will proceed to employ our now-habitual ruthlessness, and get us the hell out of here, before I can embarrass myself any further….

Shall we Pearl?

“Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead.” — Aldous Huxley

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“…. to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

~~ Star Trek, opening lines…. ~~

mars-rover-opportunity-panorama-2

Panorama of Mars, as seen by NASA’s Rover, Opportunity, January 2014
Click to Enlarge

Eleven years ago, NASA’s Rover, Opportunity, landed on Mars. Its rugged performance in covering in its travels, literally, thousands of square miles of the Martian landscape, surpassed all expectations by far, as did its twin Rover, Spirit, which landed shortly before Opportunity. Both Rovers exceeded their mission parameters, exploring Mars as far as they could go, searching for signs of life, or the conditions which may have indicated the presence of those factors which would allow life to exist….

Flowing water, a sure sign of that possibility, was found to have once been common on parts of Mars, as was evidence that microbial life could have existed…. The video gives a good explanation of the extent to which the Rover mission has been an unqualified success…. Hopefully, the embedding code will work this time; if not, just click on the link to view the video on Space.com, where I found it…. I’ve also included, at the end of the section, an Infographic Poster NASA created to show the accomplishments of NASA’s probes, including an artist’s rendition of the newest Rover on Mars, Curiosity….

NASA’S Rover Opportunity Celebrates 11 Years on Mars…

Infographic Poster of NASA’s Mars Rover Missions

mars-rovers-spirit-opportunity-mer-140123b-02Click on Picture to Enlarge


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We the People...

“”Again, our observations of the stars make it evident, not only that the earth is circular, but also that it is a circle of no great size. For quite a small change of position to south or north causes a manifest alteration of the horizon.  There is much change, I mean, in the stars which are overhead, and the stars seen are different, as one moves northward or southward.  …All of which goes to show not only that the earth is circular in shape, but that it is a  sphere of no great size:  for otherwise the effect of so slight a change of place would not be so quickly apparent.  Hence, one should not be too sure of the incredibility of the view of those who conceive that there is a continuity between the parts about the pillars of Hercules [the strait of Gibraltar] and the parts about India, and that in this way the ocean is one.”” — Aristotle, De Caelo, Fourth Century B.C.

Solid logic, brilliantly applied to simple, accurate observation…. it doesn’t get any better than this, for humans. Nobody has ever expressed so well, or so tactfully, exactly how absurdly STUPID one must be to believe the world is flat, or that the Earth has the remotest possibility of being the center of the Universe…. Yet, there are still, in this age of computers, with machines made by the hand of man exploring other worlds in our solar system, hitching rides on comets, who believe both of those concepts…. The most ironic part of that idea is the FACT that at least three or four such people, supposedly with college educations, and/or law degrees, are currently members of the US Senate…. with the distinct possibility there are a few more disguised as Members of the House of Representatives….

Can you believe that? Though I find it hard to do so, I must, as those fools have already made their positions clear, in public statements on record…. In spite of that, they continue to get elected to their positions, year after year, indicating there are a large number of people in our country whose degree of stupidity rivals that of a rock…. of the dirt or mineral variety, not the music genre…. I swear, it scares me to death sometimes, just thinking of how many IDIOTS voted for Mitt Romney in the last election…. At least Barack Obama is a skilled liar; it makes it easier to see why people get fooled by him. But, Mitt the Twitt, he is so obvious a liar, I’m continuously surprised he doesn’t break into laughter every other sentence, at the sheer unbelievability of the crap that comes out of his mouth….

There are rumors Mitt will run again in the next national election…. I can’t say I’m thrilled to hear it, even though he is such an attractive target for us bloggers…. I think, though, if it comes to pass again, I might consider my alternate future plans, reverting to the hunting trip I’ve been planning most of my life…. which is an oblique reference I don’t intend to discuss. ‘Nuff said on that….

The mere thought of having to look at, and listen to that idiot (Romney) again, even if he doesn’t garner the nomination, makes me ill. Ill enough to quell any further thought of ranting; it’s too hard to maintain any objectivity when I get that angry. Rage does make life harder, but, the mere idea of so much SHEER IDIOCY ever getting anywhere NEAR the White House will put me there in an instant, so, we’ll finish this otherwise excellently started rant with an old school pearl, taking our best shots at those Asininnies we call the Pundits…. Oh, what the hell, we’ll throw in any good shots we come across that will bring a good wince from any of those categories we love to hate…. dogma dogs, legal eagles, pimps, snakeheads, you know, all the assholes…

“How many things, both just and unjust, are sanctioned by custom!” — Terence (185-159 BC) — Heautontimoroumenos, Act iv, Sc. 7, 11, (839.)

“It is not possible to find morality in struggles for power. Your enemies view you as you do them and likely regard themselves as virtuous in their attempts at mayhem upon you. In struggles for power, your judgments should be based entirely on self-interest and finding as direct and economical a route to your goal as possible. If that route is bloody and barbaric, so much the worse for those who oppose you.” — V, anonymous author of The Mafia Manager, St. Martin’s Press

“To get rid of a pain in the neck, try yawning.” — Smart Bee

“Whether women are better than men I cannot say — but I can say they are certainly no worse.” — Golda Meir

“Truth is a statue, and you are all just a bunch of pigeons.” — Smart Bee

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment.  It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” — Vice President Dan Quayle

“Half a mind is a terrible thing to waste!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Note: The last two pearls are connected; I happen to know the quote by Zippy first appeared the day after Dan the Man made his now famous observation…. Fuck ’em all, the assholes….

gigoid has spoken….

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Here is one of my older poems, included today simply to save time…. a futile pastime, at best, but, one we humans insist on pursuing, in spite of numerous years of experience with such frustration…. SIGH…. At least we can write poems when we feel bad about it….

Seeing is Conducive to Belief

Folly sits so comfortably upon my fevered brow
one would easily believe that I would know how
to look at Life with a jaded, weary eye
seeing enough, and more, to know Why.

Such seems the case, as I will it to be,
an open book of a face, it looks so like me;
what’s known to be so, needs no close attention
familiar sights require no minding, nor mention.

The eye is drawn at once to the stark and new,
and sent back to sleep by successful review.
Once we find evidence we feel we understand,
curiosity languishes, dismissed at command.

Ancient sages knew the insidious value of illusion,
preachers and pundits know the power of confusion.
Each pair of eyes contains its own point of reference,
each mind sets its own standards of preference.

Seeing is believing, for those who live in thrall,
accepting what is perceived is all they ever recall.
Unknown to them, reality follows another set of rules,
Deeper, more dangerous, and no place for fools.

~~ gigoid ~~

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Pearl type: Old school; Category: Constructed previously via subconscious misdirection; Method: SB to pick, sans parameter;  DoD (Degree of Difficulty)**: 8/10;  Format: Minimalist style….   (** indicates degree of MY difficulty; the Gentle Reader may find their own DoD by multiplying the given figure by a factor of three… Thus: today’s GRDoD is: 24/13…. See how that works?….

Hey, it had to be done. The proctors were starting to complain about never being able to find any pearls using any sort of search criteria, or anything to enable them to fix out risk factor ratings, refusing to give me ANY until I’d made some categorical divisions, so a data table could be formulated to track statistical minutiae, thereby confusing the issue sufficiently for them to feel comfortable…. I could tell them it won’t help, but, they’ll have to learn on their own; everybody does…. Y’all can just enjoy the results, which you will find immediately below this line…. Don’t worry, I fixed it all so it won’t be a difficult point to find today…. didn’t want to confuse the proctors…. yet….

“Inasmuch as the mathematical theorems are related to reality, they are not sure; inasmuch as they are sure, they are not related to reality.” — Einstein’s Observation

“All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from,  and to, and why.” — James Thurber

“Down in their hearts, wise men know this truth: the only way to help yourself is to help others.” — Elbert Hubbard

“It is not a man’s duty, as a matter of course, to devote himself to the eradication of any, even the most enormous wrong; he may still properly have other concerns to engage him; but it is his duty, at least, to wash his hands of it, and, if he gives it no thought longer, not to give it practically his support.  If I devote myself to other pursuits and contemplations, I must first see, at least, that I do not pursue them sitting upon another man’s shoulders.  I must get off him first, that he may pursue his contemplations too.” — Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience

“If you cannot find it in yourself, where will you go for it?” — Confucius

“To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer.” — Saddi

“It is well for people who think to change their minds occasionally in order to keep them clean….For those who do not think, it is best at least to rearrange their prejudices once in a while.” — Luther Burbank

There you go…. I hope nobody strained anything….

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Well, I did it. Not only that, but, I’ve found a new piece to add to the ending statements of farewell, as a reminder to practice what we preach, as far as possible in this world of woe…. In the meantime, I’m outta here; see y’all tomorrow, ffolkes…. Remember to always….

“Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love”.

~~ Battle cry of a Warrior of Light ~~

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch

dozer3


À bientôt, mon cherí….


She smiles a lot, for a Vulcan….

Ffolkes,

“Ordinary people know little of the time and effort it takes to learn to read.

I have been eighty years at it, and have not reached my goal.”

~~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) ~~

potd-canyon-1_3136286k

    The picture is one almost everyone has seen by now; I got this copy from the London Daily Yell (Telegraph), in their Pictures of the Day feature. It shows the Grand Canyon, filled up by a fog that completely covers the floor of the canyon, as seen from one of the vantage points somewhere in Arizona, or Colorado…. Great shot, but, I couldn’t help thinking about how strange it must be to be on the floor of the canyon when it happens…. Talk about eerie!…. I bet the Indian ghosts who live there have a great time, running about, scaring the tourists….

There…. I’ve started a Pearl with an intro that doesn’t rant…. In addition, it never comes close to anything resembling nonsense…. At the same time, I managed to fulfill attribution requirements, and still get a mild joke in there…. Not bad for a totally new concept for me…. an introduction that actually starts the day out with some relatively common sense, rather than the usual nonsense, or, the overflowing angst that often takes over my fingers on the keyboard. I doubt it comes up to any of the more popular blogs out there, but, it’s a change for here, so, I can deal…. Not that it matters if I don’t, but, like anyone, I don’t like to look foolish any more than necessary….

Probably a little late on that, aren’t I? Oh well, it goes right along with how my week has gone, overall…. There have been some moments of grace and pleasure, such as when my kids came over to visit, and I talked to a friend on the phone, but, mostly, it’s been a week of agonizing pain, leading to the consumption of so much chemical help, my mind turns to mush, or I get sleepy, or just plain can’t think…. For me, THAT is terror…. Yesterday, Christmas, I spent sleeping, or sitting at the comp, staring at the screen, wondering if I had the wherewithal to even watch a movie, or wandering around, trying not to fall into a stupor….

Not my most productive day, though I did manage to get some of this Pearl finished, which will help this morning go faster…. I’m hoping I didn’t annoy anyone out there, by my absence, or any inadvertent failure to fulfill a given promise…. I don’t remember if I gave any, but, I couldn’t be sure of anything I did, or didn’t do that I said I would, so, mea apologia, to anyone to whom I displayed unintentional disrespect…. I can only plead temporary insanity (clinically speaking, severe pain can cause such….), and hope for forgiveness….

On that pathetic little note, I think it’s best if I get on with today’s mess; I have a feeling much of it shows how badly my PTSD has been affecting me this week; it always manages to rear its ugly head when I’m having this much pain…. I suppose it just wants to feel like it’s part of the party, but, I could do without a lot of the tears, and the sudden onset of deep emotional reaction to rather mild stimuli…. such as bursting into tears over a passage in a book that speaks of some powerful interaction between people…. Nobody is here to see, but, it is embarrassing, nonetheless for that….

Ah well, the hell with it…. Be aware, ffolkes, this one may have a few bits of smearing, from the tears getting into the ink, so, if watching someone display inner conflict is disturbing to you, maybe you should just watch the video, (picked, in part, for its ‘lightness’….), and call it a day…. It’s bound to be different tomorrow, right? Right…. Well, we hope so…. No…. It’s too important, and more than mere hope is needed…. We are counting on it being different tomorrow, because today, quite frankly, sucks….

Shall we Pearl?

“All things are the same,–familiar in enterprise, momentary in endurance, coarse in substance. All things now are as they were in the day of those whom we have buried.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, ix, 14

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One of the sure signs I’m getting old seems to be how much time I spend in thinking of past events, and bygone years; one of the sure symptoms of that is the old material I’ve been putting here, as blasts from my past…. If y’all are at all perceptive regarding psychological motivation, the shows I put here will tell you a lot about my inner workings, and what I find important in life….

How can that be surmised from all this? Easy…. remember that each of these shows I have termed my favorites are part of what I grew up believing, or, at least, the stuff society WANTED me to believe…. so, it all makes up a part of my inner picture…. In my case, it’s a pretty esoteric, exotic picture, but, hey, somebody has to exist at the fringes of society, right?…. Right…. Enjoy!….

gidget

Gidget’s Summer Reunion

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Yesterday, for me, was a wash, in almost every respect…. I felt absolutely miserable for the best part of the day, with various body parts, and brain sections trading painful cries for attention; I was reduced to coping by cutting myself off from all human contact, (lest I do, or say, or not say, or not do, something I’d regret at a later date….), and, consuming large amounts of pain relieving substances, of various strengths and chemical compositions, necessitating the use of a variety of methods of ingestion/consumption…. a long winded way to say I drugged myself into insensibility for the entire day. The only computer time I spent was to search for material to fill in Pearls for a while, as I know this onset of my PTSD is one that may last a while; I fell into a pretty deep hole, and I’m not yet all the way out….

Much of that time was spent in a state of introspection re: my life, and the darkest moments in the past; this, naturally, leads to thoughts of how those times contributed to my present state of affairs….  The following is an older piece I wrote, during a period when many of the same issues were circling in my head… It’s a bit of a self-confession, so, if honest feelings dismay you, feel free to go on without reading….

From 9/18/2012:

Often of late, I find myself staring at the screen with a vacant expression, listening to the patter that passes for thoughts in my head. I can sit like this for a long time, just meandering here and there in my memory, re-living good and bad moments from what has turned out to be a lot more years than I ever thought about, really. Until I became 60, I had never thought about how it would feel to be that age, a discovery that surprised me to a certain degree.

But, as I thought about it just now, I realized that I really had not considered what I might be doing in my 60’s, either as a career, or as a person. Part of the surprise, I know, is connected to the fact that I am currently without a life-partner, as the one(s) I chose as my supposed mate(s) seem to have chosen to be elsewhere. This state, of living alone, was not part of my plan……

I had thought to be sharing all the joy, and all the pain that my life has brought me, with a person who I thought was as committed to that as I. Instead, I am left wondering, as Tom Robbins put it in “Skinny Legs and All”,  “How do you make Love stay?” His premise is is based on the idea that love is easy to find, but impossible to keep, given the craziness of the modern world, and the state of confusion and angst that seems to be the legacy of everyone these days.

I’m not sure I completely agree with his final assessment, but I can see how it came to him, having had many similar experiences in my years. I hope he is wrong, and there are still people out there who can actually give their word to someone else, and mean to keep it….. If not, then the world is beyond hope, to my way of thinking, and we may as well just give up….

Of course, there is still that small part of me that won’t do that; I’m not sure if I should call it being stubborn, or stupid. Maybe it is what Emily calls Hope, that will not die easily. Whatever it is, it keeps me getting out of bed every day, with the view in mind to see what the world has to offer, whether it is more BS like I’ve been putting up with now for a few years, or whether there is some sort of justice to the world, and I’ll soon meet, or get together with, a person with whom I can share all of what I have inside me to give, and who will live up to whatever promises we can make to each other.

And if not, well, I guess I’ll just keep flirting with the young lady at the coffee shop, and listen to her talk about her boyfriends, smiling to myself, grieving for might have been, and hoping for what might yet be…..

Leave the past behind;
leave the future behind;
leave the present behind.
Thou are then ready to go to the other shore.
Never more shalt thou return to a life that ends in death.

~~ The Dhammapada (c. B.C. 300) ~~


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I also found this, a poem that fits in with the theme above like they were made to go together….

From 9/21/2012:

Playing by the Rules

All my days I looked for love,
And found it everywhere I looked.
The years were joyous and fully booked
Seemingly by command from Above.

In return for all of the beauty in Life I found
I played life by the Rules that we all know,
It was from my father I learned the how,
Honest love, given freely, hand-fasted, gladly bound.

It seemed a while as if it were all real,
that fulfillment and contentment could be
as real as the children given us to oversee,
to teach them of Life and Love, and how to feel.

Then storm clouds of grievous change arrived, unbidden
Insidious, deceitful, three steps forward, then one back.
Tearing holes in our beautiful cloth, a heart heard to crack,
Gleeful demons eating life’s bounty, fangs dirty, and hidden.

Pain and sorrow grew, in defiance of all I tried,
Sanctuary turned into a reluctant scene of ritual battle,
Love still lives, but is herded like doomed and pitiful cattle,
While the keening of my soul sounds as if I’d cried.

Betrayal in love is, allow me to assure, no small pain to take.
Time has no power to reduce its place in my heart or soul.
My truest love became a stranger, a powerfully sharp toll,
Solitude has become my lot, no killing time for necessity’s sake.

Love yet surrounds me, everywhere; I’m not one of those fools…
Children are forgiving, I’m glad to be able to say,
They show me life’s solid purpose, the old, right way,
I guess I don’t know any other, than to Play it by the Rules.

~~ gigoid ~~


Okay, ffolkes, this one hurt, a lot, but it had to come out…. I’ve been in tears for an hour now, first drowning in feeling that arose from inside, unasked, then letting those feelings out onto the screen, and they’re not going to stop anytime soon, I can tell. This is an old, old pain, and apparently has been hiding for a while, buried much deeper than I had previously given credence to; it fucking HURTS!….. It’s a damn  good thing that I’m an optimist, and too bloody stubborn to give up believing in Life, and all that is good and beautiful in it…. that’s all I can say…. otherwise, I’d be damned depressed right now….. I  gotta go…..

Short note from 2014: Sadly, yesterday was a repeat performance of all this implies… and, as for the last paragraph, well, all I can say is, ditto….

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I often compose pearls of virtual wisdom with the intention of helping others live life according to their own best potential, according to what I have learned in my life…. None of the pearls I’ve ever composed gives more good, solid advice on how to accomplish that purpose, to live life with dignity, and honor, than the following list…. If you don’t believe me, just compare this to how YOU live, and see which one makes more sense….

(The simplest way to test the validity of each piece of advice? As you read each suggestion, ask yourself, a) is it good advice?, and b) how often do I do this?….)…


~~ Things We Can Learn from a Dog ~~

  1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

  2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

  3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

  4. When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience.

  5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

  6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.

  7. Run, romp, and play daily.

  8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

  9. Be loyal.

 10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.

 11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

 12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

 13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

 14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

 15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

 16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

 17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

 18. No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout.

Run right back and make friends.

all better

    It all sounds pretty sensible to me…. Also, I defy ANYONE to look at this picture, (stolen from Facebook, many moons ago….), and NOT say “Awwww”…..

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Okay, well, it’s done. Beyond that, I make no implied promises. In fact, I’m going to take this opportunity to take my leave. while I still have a neuron or two working; maybe I can get something done today, other than sleep, or moan…. See y’all tomorrow, ffolkes, if only to make another futile attempt to save my sanity…. Maybe, tonight, if I work it right, I might actually sleep past 2 AM….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

Kowabunga!


À bientôt, mon cherí….