Arguing the salient points is thirsty work….

Ffolkes,

“There aren’t many times in your life when your body has absolutely nothing wrong with it.”

~~ Smart Bee ~~

thats some cold shit

    The quote, a rather poignant, yet perfectly accurate comment, which you see sitting right above my picture of The Tracy Arm Fjord/Glacier (Damn! That’s a LOT of COLD-looking water, ain’t it?…. Yet, this was taken from the deck of a ship, in July!….), struck me very hard, right between the eyes…. It seems so perfectly apt, when applied to my current physical condition, I couldn’t leave it be….

You see, the statement speaks the truth, from an overall view taken from this end of life…. However, for much of my earlier life, until the age of forty, I was perfectly healthy, in every respect, never suffering much from having some part of my body not feel good, beyond the minor pains involved in activities of a sporting nature….

It was only in the underlying habits I pursued during all those years, of extreme physical activity, (sports, martial arts, work of a physical nature…), combined with the average American’s poor eating habits, foisted upon all of us from a young age, along with the use of information, (supplied by society, which, as it turned out, was completely false)…. these factors led to the way I feel most days in the present…

Without going into a long, detailed examination of WHY the above statement is true, I’ll just summarize, by saying, if I’d known back then what I know now, I’d have done some things differently, for sure…. But, as we all know, we don’t have that ability, to change the past, even if we don’t always act like it…. Therefore, it does me no good whatsoever to complain, even less to worry about it… The effects of the past’s miscues still must be endured, and dealt with to the best of my knowledge and experience… In other words…. So Be It….

Normally, I wouldn’t comment on this, in this particular way, but, it hit me so strongly, I had to react, if only to verbalize the insight I came to perceive, which stated most simply, is this…. I miss my old body, and the way I could depend on it to do anything I asked of it, no matter how difficult…. But, going back to that is not going to happen, realistically, so, learning how to avoid, and/or overcome, days such as yesterday becomes more of a direct challenge.

Yesterday, you see, (the day I started this originally…. it’s been a work in progress since then….), was Christmas, and I felt so much pain, from stuff that just won’t go away, I was reduced to taking massive quantities of drugs, of every description, to knock myself relatively unconscious…. This, of course, meant losing most of an entire day…. I could go for the cheap laugh, & say, “what a pain in the ass”, but, what I felt was, by no means, confined simply to my ass; such a mild epithet wouldn’t be accurate, nor convey the proper degree of irrational anger that accompanies such experiences….

Nor would it suit the pompous style this intro has fallen into… damn it! Just when I was hoping for a break-out of weird nonsense, too…. I really wanted some nonsense, but NOOOO, my mind comes up with pompous, instead…. I swear, some days, all I get is shit for breakfast, and from myself, to boot…. Whattyagonnado, eh? I know what WE’RE going to do, and, since we’re going to do it NOW, I’d hang on, if I were you…..

Shall we Pearl?

“Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.” — Smart Bee

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Yesterday, I posted a video of the Sally Field version of Gidget…. Here is another beach movie from the same era, with a different cast of characters, but, based on the same basic plot…. Of course, it’s the same plot used in every movie in the genre…. It was movies like this that determined my hair style for several years….

Muscle Beach Party (1964) full movie

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“Liberty and freedom have to be more than just words.” — Kirk, “The Omega Glory,” stardate unknown.

It has long been my opinion, since before going to college, that nobody with a degree in law, or political science, or criminology, or any other professional governance subject should ever be allowed to participate in any way in government, or police, or any sort of position of authority over others in society…. Once that happens, we end up with a mess like we have today, where those with the authority to make, and break the laws are NOT interested, or invested, in doing ANYTHING to improve the lot of the common man….

The concept isn’t new with me; Arthur C. Clarke once wrote a novel about the 500th anniversary of the United States, i.e., it takes place in the year 2276, being the story of one representative’s trip, from a moon of Saturn, to Earth, to attend the celebration for the Fourth of July 2276. One of the government officials he is to meet during the trip is the current President of the United States, elected in 2276, by the, then, usual method of being picked by a computer as the most qualified citizen in the country. The primary quality looked for by the computer was a person who did NOT want to be President; they had to be dragged, kicking and complaining, to do the job at all, and, could only be persuaded to do so if promised they were to be allowed to leave in four years, if they did a good job….

This, of course, ensured that anyone in government had the best interests of the PUBLIC in the front of their minds, not their own self-interest, as is the case with, no doubt, over 90% of the current crop of elected bozos…. The 455 mostly white millionaires who run this country’s government demonstrate consistently how little little they care about the public, other than as a source of income for them, and their corporate cronies/masters…. When was the last time you heard about a Congressman being threatened with having their gas shut off for not paying their bill? Or any of the myriad of other problems common to all of us in the lower branches of society? That would be never, I should think….

But, to be honest, I really don’t feel like ranting, (any more than I already have, anyway…), so, we’ll leave it to an old-school variety of pearl to bring the point home, or, somewhere close enough to find…. Said point, it may be noted, is a direct pirated version of the real point, which was first noted by Fred, the Bird, when he said so aptly…. “Politics is poopadoodle.”….. Please note: in this pearl only, the initial pearl consists of the first TWO statements, indicated by a short dividing line from the other six stars…

“If we are to survive, this nation must end its love affair with guns.” — U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno.

“If we are to survive, this nation must end its love affair with big brother government and individuals must relearn what it means to be free.” — Jeff Chan, chan@shell.portal.com

~~~~

“The majority is never right.” — L. Long  (1912-)

“George Bush shot JFK.” — Liberal history revision, but, only held to be true in Texas…. and, patently, in metaphor….

“I think grown-ups just act like they know what they’re doing.” — Calvin & Hobbes

“He who cannot draw on three thousand years is living from hand to mouth.” — Goethe

“Since when is “public safety” the root password to the Constitution?” — C. D. Tavares

“Being good at being stupid doesn’t count.” — Smart Bee

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The following poem is another of those I lost for a time…. Back in 2012, in September, I wrote several poems, during the first breakout of poetry I had written in over 40 years…. This one was one of the first couple I wrote, which I found in the archives just a few days ago…. Enjoy, ffolkes… This one, I believe, describes the process, as well as some of the aftermath, of how PTSD feels…. from the inside…. That makes it a particularly appropriate poem for today’s post….

Visible life

Forty-two days of pressure and internal rain,
leave marks of salvation, often in pain.
Such sharp reminders of yesterday’s remorse
fight heavily to keep a straight course.
Rash moments, bright, and routinely immense
Give us pleasure, bereft of common sense.

Still the night comes soft and eternally dear
to bring out wishful dreams so vitally clear.
Life’s myrmidons give freely in protest
lifting with skill, soul pieces first to infest,
Loudly brash, with no such voices to remain
Sealed in infamy, branded ugliness all too plain.

Now come brave signs of chapter and verse
Shielded by ignorance, irritable and terse.
Gravid portions of in-between retaliation
leave only pale marks of initial gestation
With hope even pallid warriors grow brave
Leading all humanity, to a warm, stale grave.

Hope never falters, nor leaves any trace
Yet lingers forever in a welcoming space.
Cheerful faces yet shine out of time
for tricking and fumbling sweet melody sublime.
Fill in the spaces with a long, strong retort
life is ever visible, if only as last resort.

~~ gigoid ~~


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This is what I’d call a classic pearl; clear, directed, and useful, as long as one allows such activities in their head…. It’s pretty fresh, too, considering none of them were picked out before yesterday…. and, all were examined and formatted this morning, to assure freshness, in packaging, if not content… Here is a pretty decent remark, once all the dross is trimmed away from the essence, about one of our favorite subjects, to wit: Life at Large…. The final pearl is one of the finest gems I’ve ever come across, especially as the perfect closing line in this venue….

To each is given a bag of tools,
A shapeless mass and a book of rules,
And each must make, ere life is flown,
A stumbling-block or a stepping stone.

~~ R. L. Sharpe, Stumbling Block or Stepping Stone ~~


“No legacy is so rich as honesty.” — William Shakespeare (1564-1616), All’s Well that Ends Well — Act iii, Sc. 5

“Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.” — Aristotle

“Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to that arrogant oligarchy who merely happen to be walking around.” — G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy, 1908

“By a tranquil mind I mean nothing else than a mind well ordered.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, iv, 3

“There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat.” — James Russell Lowell (1819-1891) — Democracy and Other Addresses

The fastest draw is when the sword never leaves the scabbard.
The strongest way to block is never to provoke a blow.
And the cleanest cut is the one withheld.

~~ “Kensho”, by Dennis Schmidt ~~


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Easiest Pearl ever, no doubt…. Of course, most of it was done yesterday, put together during moments of peace between bouts of either joint pain, or emotional pain, both of which have been my constant companion for a couple of days now…. This is not good, but, it will, hopefully, pass off soon…. In the meantime, if y’all don’t see a post here tomorrow, well, you’ll know why…. See ya, ffolkes, maybe even tomorrow…. but, maybe not, too…. Right now, I couldn’t make a firm commitment to either one….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

Kowabunga!


À bientôt, mon cherí….

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She smiles a lot, for a Vulcan….

Ffolkes,

“Ordinary people know little of the time and effort it takes to learn to read.

I have been eighty years at it, and have not reached my goal.”

~~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) ~~

potd-canyon-1_3136286k

    The picture is one almost everyone has seen by now; I got this copy from the London Daily Yell (Telegraph), in their Pictures of the Day feature. It shows the Grand Canyon, filled up by a fog that completely covers the floor of the canyon, as seen from one of the vantage points somewhere in Arizona, or Colorado…. Great shot, but, I couldn’t help thinking about how strange it must be to be on the floor of the canyon when it happens…. Talk about eerie!…. I bet the Indian ghosts who live there have a great time, running about, scaring the tourists….

There…. I’ve started a Pearl with an intro that doesn’t rant…. In addition, it never comes close to anything resembling nonsense…. At the same time, I managed to fulfill attribution requirements, and still get a mild joke in there…. Not bad for a totally new concept for me…. an introduction that actually starts the day out with some relatively common sense, rather than the usual nonsense, or, the overflowing angst that often takes over my fingers on the keyboard. I doubt it comes up to any of the more popular blogs out there, but, it’s a change for here, so, I can deal…. Not that it matters if I don’t, but, like anyone, I don’t like to look foolish any more than necessary….

Probably a little late on that, aren’t I? Oh well, it goes right along with how my week has gone, overall…. There have been some moments of grace and pleasure, such as when my kids came over to visit, and I talked to a friend on the phone, but, mostly, it’s been a week of agonizing pain, leading to the consumption of so much chemical help, my mind turns to mush, or I get sleepy, or just plain can’t think…. For me, THAT is terror…. Yesterday, Christmas, I spent sleeping, or sitting at the comp, staring at the screen, wondering if I had the wherewithal to even watch a movie, or wandering around, trying not to fall into a stupor….

Not my most productive day, though I did manage to get some of this Pearl finished, which will help this morning go faster…. I’m hoping I didn’t annoy anyone out there, by my absence, or any inadvertent failure to fulfill a given promise…. I don’t remember if I gave any, but, I couldn’t be sure of anything I did, or didn’t do that I said I would, so, mea apologia, to anyone to whom I displayed unintentional disrespect…. I can only plead temporary insanity (clinically speaking, severe pain can cause such….), and hope for forgiveness….

On that pathetic little note, I think it’s best if I get on with today’s mess; I have a feeling much of it shows how badly my PTSD has been affecting me this week; it always manages to rear its ugly head when I’m having this much pain…. I suppose it just wants to feel like it’s part of the party, but, I could do without a lot of the tears, and the sudden onset of deep emotional reaction to rather mild stimuli…. such as bursting into tears over a passage in a book that speaks of some powerful interaction between people…. Nobody is here to see, but, it is embarrassing, nonetheless for that….

Ah well, the hell with it…. Be aware, ffolkes, this one may have a few bits of smearing, from the tears getting into the ink, so, if watching someone display inner conflict is disturbing to you, maybe you should just watch the video, (picked, in part, for its ‘lightness’….), and call it a day…. It’s bound to be different tomorrow, right? Right…. Well, we hope so…. No…. It’s too important, and more than mere hope is needed…. We are counting on it being different tomorrow, because today, quite frankly, sucks….

Shall we Pearl?

“All things are the same,–familiar in enterprise, momentary in endurance, coarse in substance. All things now are as they were in the day of those whom we have buried.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, ix, 14

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One of the sure signs I’m getting old seems to be how much time I spend in thinking of past events, and bygone years; one of the sure symptoms of that is the old material I’ve been putting here, as blasts from my past…. If y’all are at all perceptive regarding psychological motivation, the shows I put here will tell you a lot about my inner workings, and what I find important in life….

How can that be surmised from all this? Easy…. remember that each of these shows I have termed my favorites are part of what I grew up believing, or, at least, the stuff society WANTED me to believe…. so, it all makes up a part of my inner picture…. In my case, it’s a pretty esoteric, exotic picture, but, hey, somebody has to exist at the fringes of society, right?…. Right…. Enjoy!….

gidget

Gidget’s Summer Reunion

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Yesterday, for me, was a wash, in almost every respect…. I felt absolutely miserable for the best part of the day, with various body parts, and brain sections trading painful cries for attention; I was reduced to coping by cutting myself off from all human contact, (lest I do, or say, or not say, or not do, something I’d regret at a later date….), and, consuming large amounts of pain relieving substances, of various strengths and chemical compositions, necessitating the use of a variety of methods of ingestion/consumption…. a long winded way to say I drugged myself into insensibility for the entire day. The only computer time I spent was to search for material to fill in Pearls for a while, as I know this onset of my PTSD is one that may last a while; I fell into a pretty deep hole, and I’m not yet all the way out….

Much of that time was spent in a state of introspection re: my life, and the darkest moments in the past; this, naturally, leads to thoughts of how those times contributed to my present state of affairs….  The following is an older piece I wrote, during a period when many of the same issues were circling in my head… It’s a bit of a self-confession, so, if honest feelings dismay you, feel free to go on without reading….

From 9/18/2012:

Often of late, I find myself staring at the screen with a vacant expression, listening to the patter that passes for thoughts in my head. I can sit like this for a long time, just meandering here and there in my memory, re-living good and bad moments from what has turned out to be a lot more years than I ever thought about, really. Until I became 60, I had never thought about how it would feel to be that age, a discovery that surprised me to a certain degree.

But, as I thought about it just now, I realized that I really had not considered what I might be doing in my 60’s, either as a career, or as a person. Part of the surprise, I know, is connected to the fact that I am currently without a life-partner, as the one(s) I chose as my supposed mate(s) seem to have chosen to be elsewhere. This state, of living alone, was not part of my plan……

I had thought to be sharing all the joy, and all the pain that my life has brought me, with a person who I thought was as committed to that as I. Instead, I am left wondering, as Tom Robbins put it in “Skinny Legs and All”,  “How do you make Love stay?” His premise is is based on the idea that love is easy to find, but impossible to keep, given the craziness of the modern world, and the state of confusion and angst that seems to be the legacy of everyone these days.

I’m not sure I completely agree with his final assessment, but I can see how it came to him, having had many similar experiences in my years. I hope he is wrong, and there are still people out there who can actually give their word to someone else, and mean to keep it….. If not, then the world is beyond hope, to my way of thinking, and we may as well just give up….

Of course, there is still that small part of me that won’t do that; I’m not sure if I should call it being stubborn, or stupid. Maybe it is what Emily calls Hope, that will not die easily. Whatever it is, it keeps me getting out of bed every day, with the view in mind to see what the world has to offer, whether it is more BS like I’ve been putting up with now for a few years, or whether there is some sort of justice to the world, and I’ll soon meet, or get together with, a person with whom I can share all of what I have inside me to give, and who will live up to whatever promises we can make to each other.

And if not, well, I guess I’ll just keep flirting with the young lady at the coffee shop, and listen to her talk about her boyfriends, smiling to myself, grieving for might have been, and hoping for what might yet be…..

Leave the past behind;
leave the future behind;
leave the present behind.
Thou are then ready to go to the other shore.
Never more shalt thou return to a life that ends in death.

~~ The Dhammapada (c. B.C. 300) ~~


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I also found this, a poem that fits in with the theme above like they were made to go together….

From 9/21/2012:

Playing by the Rules

All my days I looked for love,
And found it everywhere I looked.
The years were joyous and fully booked
Seemingly by command from Above.

In return for all of the beauty in Life I found
I played life by the Rules that we all know,
It was from my father I learned the how,
Honest love, given freely, hand-fasted, gladly bound.

It seemed a while as if it were all real,
that fulfillment and contentment could be
as real as the children given us to oversee,
to teach them of Life and Love, and how to feel.

Then storm clouds of grievous change arrived, unbidden
Insidious, deceitful, three steps forward, then one back.
Tearing holes in our beautiful cloth, a heart heard to crack,
Gleeful demons eating life’s bounty, fangs dirty, and hidden.

Pain and sorrow grew, in defiance of all I tried,
Sanctuary turned into a reluctant scene of ritual battle,
Love still lives, but is herded like doomed and pitiful cattle,
While the keening of my soul sounds as if I’d cried.

Betrayal in love is, allow me to assure, no small pain to take.
Time has no power to reduce its place in my heart or soul.
My truest love became a stranger, a powerfully sharp toll,
Solitude has become my lot, no killing time for necessity’s sake.

Love yet surrounds me, everywhere; I’m not one of those fools…
Children are forgiving, I’m glad to be able to say,
They show me life’s solid purpose, the old, right way,
I guess I don’t know any other, than to Play it by the Rules.

~~ gigoid ~~


Okay, ffolkes, this one hurt, a lot, but it had to come out…. I’ve been in tears for an hour now, first drowning in feeling that arose from inside, unasked, then letting those feelings out onto the screen, and they’re not going to stop anytime soon, I can tell. This is an old, old pain, and apparently has been hiding for a while, buried much deeper than I had previously given credence to; it fucking HURTS!….. It’s a damn  good thing that I’m an optimist, and too bloody stubborn to give up believing in Life, and all that is good and beautiful in it…. that’s all I can say…. otherwise, I’d be damned depressed right now….. I  gotta go…..

Short note from 2014: Sadly, yesterday was a repeat performance of all this implies… and, as for the last paragraph, well, all I can say is, ditto….

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I often compose pearls of virtual wisdom with the intention of helping others live life according to their own best potential, according to what I have learned in my life…. None of the pearls I’ve ever composed gives more good, solid advice on how to accomplish that purpose, to live life with dignity, and honor, than the following list…. If you don’t believe me, just compare this to how YOU live, and see which one makes more sense….

(The simplest way to test the validity of each piece of advice? As you read each suggestion, ask yourself, a) is it good advice?, and b) how often do I do this?….)…


~~ Things We Can Learn from a Dog ~~

  1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

  2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

  3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

  4. When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience.

  5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

  6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.

  7. Run, romp, and play daily.

  8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

  9. Be loyal.

 10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.

 11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

 12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

 13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

 14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

 15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

 16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

 17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

 18. No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout.

Run right back and make friends.

all better

    It all sounds pretty sensible to me…. Also, I defy ANYONE to look at this picture, (stolen from Facebook, many moons ago….), and NOT say “Awwww”…..

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Okay, well, it’s done. Beyond that, I make no implied promises. In fact, I’m going to take this opportunity to take my leave. while I still have a neuron or two working; maybe I can get something done today, other than sleep, or moan…. See y’all tomorrow, ffolkes, if only to make another futile attempt to save my sanity…. Maybe, tonight, if I work it right, I might actually sleep past 2 AM….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

Kowabunga!


À bientôt, mon cherí….