Don’t screw it in, we’ll use the hammer….

Posted on July 1, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Sadly, the network here on the Grand Princess isn’t very fast, so I’m guessing photos may be an issue, upload-wise. We’ll have to see, as I actually haven’t tried to put them up yet. It may yet fool me…. Good morning…. well, it’s a good morning here on board, anyway…. It’s 5 AM, and I have a cup of the only good coffee on the ship, which comes from the coffee stand in the main lobby…. all the dining areas have atrocious coffee, and don’t seem to care… I guess they know they’ll sell more at the barista stands that way….

We’re now on our second day at sea to begin the voyage. Patricia is having a wonderful time, experiencing all the great stuff she had heard about from her mother and friends who have cruised. I’m really glad she is having this opportunity, and hope the weather cooperates. It has gotten a bit windy and cold on deck in the evening, so it’s hard for her to go out to indulge in a smoke…. We did bring the right clothing though, so it’s merely a matter of putting it on before heading out…

This is going to be rather short today. The weather, though good, was boring, so I couldn’t get a lot of pictures of the sea or land going by. This was due to sailing through a fog bank most of the day, turning the sea into a surrealistic, ghostly presence, not suitable for pictures. Plus, I’m still getting used to this new computer, which has an entirely different style of keyboard…. The issues around getting posted aren’t unsurmountable, they’re just slowing me down…. I’ll get there, though…. Let’s get on with it…. Shall we Pearl?….
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What we have here is a random harlequin pearl, chosen fresh this morning, which may be why it is rather obscure in terms of the point being presented…. It’s all good, though, because each one offers its own perspective, if you squint at them just right…..

“It’s the RINSE CYCLE!! They’ve ALL IGNORED the RINSE CYCLE!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“People are always talking about tradition, but they forget we have a tradition of a few hundred years of nonsense and stupidity, that there is a tradition of idiocy, incompetence and crudity.” — Hugo Demartini, in “Contemporary Artists”, 1977

“There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don’t know yet.” — Ambrose Bierce

“Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.” — Maurice Chevalier

“Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men.” — Seneca (8 BC) — De Providentia, 5, 9

“Why is it that people who know nothing are so quick to prove it?” — Smart Bee

“You cannot cross a river in two strides.” — The Siddhartha Principle

See?….. As I have previously stated, timing is everything…..
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I’m trying to save time on my internet package here on the ship, so you’ll have to make do with one of mine from the archives, as I don’t have one ready to leak out today…..

Roses for Noses

I have a bozoid personality, of the first degree;
nobody, I mean nobody, knows that better than me.
I often wonder, as the world goes around, and around
how many others have realized just what I’ve found….

I know for a fact, I’m not the only bozoid one;
too many people laughing out there, having fun.
Is their laughter, though, at themselves first?
Or is it some other impulse, like purple liverwurst”….

I’ve always loved to make others laugh and giggle,
since my tender youth, when my ears began to wiggle.
The world is full of humor, but not always easy to find
so laughing at myself I learned never to mind….

We bozos know each other, here, there, and everywhere
there’s no hiding such joy, it just wouldn’t be fair.
We all have one feature, our great bulbous nose,
and there’s no doubt at all, cuz it just grows….

There’s nothing like a good, big mistake, a disaster,
to show us the folly of living life faster and faster.
Nothing in the world can ever take the place,
of seeing in the mirror, a happy, smiling face….

Don’t be shy, just let it all hang out;
we bozos have more fun, there’s no doubt.
Life’s too somber and gray if we let it get on top
if we don’t stay loose, the pain won’t ever stop….

My advice to all of you, out there in the world,
let noses grow round & red, keep hair tightly curled.
Find a way to let your spirit out often to play,
you’ll never once regret any price you pay.

~~ gigoid
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This section will show the pictures from our first day on the ship, as we embarked, and just a few others, as the scenery isn’t within view as yet…. Not much, but a start…. Enjoy!…..
That’s the lot for today, ffolkes… I’ll have more tomorrow, when we get near some land…..

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Well, there you have it…. the first Pearl from aboard ship, such as it is…. Gotta go schedule a massage, so, see ya!…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid

I’ve never seen a poltergeist retch before…..

Posted on June 27, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Having thus far lived, in many respects, a relatively uneventful life, it was a bit of a surprise to find myself, upon first arising today, gazing at a large, green, rather handsome alien, all seven or eight feet of him, sitting quietly in my easy chair, reading a Nora Roberts novel obviously plucked from my bookcase. He kept reading as I stared at him, obviously unaware of my regard, breathing, apparently, through his legs, which inflated and deflated in a regular pattern every few seconds. As he sat there reading, (I say ‘he’ for lack of any proper definition of his gender, or whether he has one at all… gotta call him something….) he gave the impression of infinite patience, and serenity, idly perusing the paperback novel he had chosen…..

Then, of course, I blinked my eyes, and he was gone, back to dreamland, from where he had escaped, apparently just to provide me with a compelling opening paragraph to grab your attention….. which, hopefully, worked well…. It would have grabbed me, I’ll give it that…. It leaves me without anywhere to go from here, but, I’ve been there a lot, and know I can just wander around in my head long enough to reach the legal requirement for an intro. It’s not as if there is any lack of nonsense on hand, it’s merely a matter of shoveling it into the correct venue…. a statement which will, I’m sure, cause as much confusion for you as it does for me….

Let’s face it, ffolkes, I’m lost already…. I suppose that isn’t a very unusual happenstance, but I’m not generally forced to admit it so early. It must have something to do with getting up so late; I actually slept in until 0610, and woke up in a panic, thinking I’d missed an appointment or something…. then spent a few minutes recovering from my alien visitation before successfully arousing myself to get coffee…. Once I’d had a sip or two, of course, all was well with the world, and I could turn my mind to composition….

Which brings us to here….. I’m going to NOT push my luck today, I think. I’ve got two days to get through before getting on a boat bound for Alaska, and I’m not taking ANY chances of fate intervening in any negative fashion. The lists I’ve made are getting checked off, item by item, and it’s down to the last few; my excitement level goes up with each item I gleefully check off….. Before I can turn to any of what is needed for today’s list, though, I have to complete this little chore that I’ve set for myself, so….. Shall we Pearl?…..

“Is something VIOLENT going to happen to a GARBAGE CAN?” — Zippy the Pinhead
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Having come to this so late in the day (time is relative, you know….), I’m feeling a bit pressed for time. So, I’ve dipped into my massive archives of material, and come up with this old style pearl, from August of 2011…. It’s a pretty good pearl, quite stimulating in a cogitative sense, not lacking in irony, and possessing a small degree of style… Well, I think so…. Enjoy!…..

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Ffolkes,
As I was diving this morning in search of some fine, lustrous Pearls to start the day, it struck me that the decision making process in humans seems to have a definable limit. Not a limit of content, but rather a limit of use. No matter what it is that we are doing that requires a decision, there comes a point in the process where we say, “enough!” and end the process of gathering information by the decision to act upon it. Now in a cosmic sense this is not a particularly profound discovery, nor, I think, particularly useful. But then most things we discover don’t have a lot of practical use; we just file them away somewhere in the back of our memory where we seldom look for what we need now, but may find a use for later.

There may be moments in the future where such knowledge may become of use, perhaps even critical. But for the most part, a great deal of memory is crowded with stuff we’ve figured out on our own, but which has little relevance to our life at that time. I’m not sure if this trait is an important evolutionary development, or just something that stays with us because it does no immediate harm to our ability to deal with reality.

Little snippets of fact or conclusions we’ve come to, of a personal or general nature, seem to be destined to clutter up our memories, and I suppose that the mere fact of their existence my prove to be their evolutionary purpose; something to keep us from getting anywhere too fast for our mind to keep up. Who knows? Certainly not me, but hey, it was useful to me today, if only because I was able to finesse an entire paragraph while saying absolutely nothing important for you, or me, to know……useful after all…… 🙂

“ICONOCLAST, n. A breaker of idols, the worshipers whereof are imperfectly gratified by the performance, and most strenuously protest that he unbuildeth but doth not reedify, that he pulleth down but pileth not up. For the poor things would have other idols in place of those he thwacketh upon the mazzard and dispelleth. But the iconoclast saith: “Ye shall have none at all, for ye need them not; and if the rebuilder fooleth round hereabout, behold I will depress the head of him and sit thereon till he squawk it.” — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”
(So THAT’S what I’ve been doing all these years! Nice to know there is a word for it…..)

“Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.” — Smart Bee

“Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.” — Oscar Wilde

“If we can put the names of our faiths aside for the moment and look at principles, we fill find a common thread running through all the
great religious expressions.” — Louis Farrakhan, 1993

“It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn’t too good either if you speak when your head is empty.” — Smart Bee

“Objective evidence and certitude are doubtless very fine ideals to play with, but where on this moonlit and dream-visited planet are they found?” — William James

Okay, “enough!”……. I guess it does have a purpose after all…..the prevention of terminal boredom…… Y’all take care out there…..
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At this point in time, I am uncertain as to what style of poem will appeal today, so, I’m leaving this section for last…. I’ll be back…. Okay, I’m back…. and I brought with me one of my all time favorites…..

The Little Boy and the Old Man

Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man, “I do that too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
“But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
“I know what you mean,” said the little old man.

~~ Shel Silverstein ~~

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The way this has turned out, I should have just reblogged an old Pearl, and been done with it… Instead, I have three parts of old Pearls that will serve to make up today’s Pearl, and the hell with the consequences…. Here is a fine old religirant I found, from late in 2012…..

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Originally this morning, I had intended to write something less controversial here…. but, Smart Bee is being a bit recalcitrant this morning in coming up with suitable stuff…. so, I’m going ahead with this discussion of religious thought, even though I was trying not to be so sober today….SIGH…. “The best laid plans of mice and men, etc….” Such are the mysterious ways of Smart Bee….

I believe in god, I just don’t like him. — Smart Bee

Now, here is a concept I can get behind…. I am often unsure of how to express my own beliefs about the idea of a God, or god, capitalization depending, I suppose, on one’s sense of reverence regarding same. All the twaddle I was taught in Sunday School was an obvious pack of lies; even at age 5 I was unconvinced of the stories they told me. None of them seemed any more real, or plausible, than the cartoons I watched on Saturday morning, and there was certainly no bloodshed in the cartoons…. mayhem, yes, bloodshed, no…. But, the story of the crucifixion is enough to give even the most ghoulish of child nightmares, for sure and for certain…. What were they thinking?….

But, the statement above goes along better with what I would like to believe (which is no more, and no less, than any other human…. believing what we’d LIKE to believe is always more attractive than what MIGHT be true…. neither of which necessarily has anything to do with what is actually REAL….), because most of the stories and lessons we heard as children about God make him out to be a petty, narcissistic, vindictive asshole, to be quite frank.

Well, there is that, plus, most of the preachers, to me, seemed to me to be much more interested in other people’s business than their own, with many of the same characteristics of their ignoble so-called creator. None of them were much of a recommendation to me as proper examples of what a good man should be, and none of what I heard about god, or God, put (H)him in that category, either.

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” — Jesus Christ (Gnostic Gospel Of Thomas, Saying 70)

Or, better out than in…. so to speak. Which, as you know if you’ve been reading here previously, is something I believe in wholeheartedly….. Jesus, for me, falls into a similar category for me as God, or preachers…. kind of in limbo regarding all the stuff that was, and is, said about him. He was obviously a real historical figure, and not a mythical supernatural being, and as such his words and actions were recorded for posterity. The accuracy of what was written is, to say the least, questionable, if for no other reason that he spoke Aramaic as his primary language…. that is pretty well established.

What many fail to consider is this…. in order for us to hear his words, we have to hear what was translated through at least four or five languages, from the original Aramaic. First, it would have been translated to Latin, or possibly another middle eastern dialect of the time, then into Latin. Then it was translated to probably Italian, French, and Spanish; then into German and, possibly, it underwent its first change into English, back when it was still considered to be Middle English…. I’m pretty sure the first King James version didn’t occur until well after the Renaissance period.

So, my question is this…. how much of the original meaning of his words came through into the English translation? It’s funny, but when, as a teen, I asked this of my pastor, all I could get from him was that, because the words were inspired by God, then the meaning would have been accurately translated by all those different people, as they were doing God’s work…. which, even then, made me go, “Hmmm? Could you explain that again, in English, with something, anything, that approaches an answer?” (This was before I spoke Spanish, or German, or anything else but English….)

That seems to be a problem with preachers/priests… they tend to lump everything into the same mold, and expect us to believe that what they say is true, even though there is no direct evidence to support any such twaddle. “The Bible says God said it, I believe it, and that’s the end of it!” seems to be their logical train of deduction, even though there is no logic, or deduction, to it.

I wasn’t born in Missouri, but, you’ve got to SHOW ME the evidence before I’ll waste my time trying to place any belief into such grandiose ideas. When one of the church minions asks me, sarcastically, if I expect God to send me a telegram, I usually reply, “Well, that WOULD be more persuasive than expecting me to take it on your word, now, wouldn’t it?” Idiots….

“God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters.” — H.L. Mencken

This attitude, the elitist idea that those who believe are somehow superior to those who do not, is one of the root causes of most of the trouble our species is having today. The insane attitude that this planet, and all the other creatures on it, were placed here specifically for our benefit and use, is responsible for all of the pollution that continues to pump into the ecosystem, for all the abuse and chauvinism against the other life forms who live here, and for a great number of the social issues, such as poverty, racism, misogyny, and violence, that plague us as a culture.

We are not only NOT the masters of creation, we are not even qualified to be our own masters; we cause ourselves as much trouble as we do the rest of creation, if not more, all because religionists insist that those who believe them are good, and everyone else is bad…. a stupid idea at best.

“God made Man to his image and likeness, and Man, being a gentleman, returned the compliment.” — Voltaire

Hence, my lack of faith in the nonsensical claptrap that the various religions attempt to pass off as truth. Reality, to me, is scary enough, without the idea of some insane supernatural creature, sitting up in some fanciful Utopia, looking down and giving a rat’s ass about what I’m doing with my life. It just doesn’t make any sense to me to try to visualize a god…. by the very definition of the beast, they cannot be imagined by a creature of lesser scope…. and telling me that you have a direct line to God, and know what he wants me to do with my life, only makes me wish I could order your new medications personally…. Oh, didn’t I mention it? We now have medications that will keep people from believing delusional material, or at least keep them from acting on those beliefs before thinking about them at least a bit….. but, who’s going to give it to a priest, when the doctor believes the same bilge?

Now that I’ve alienated any number of true believers out there, I guess I’ll let this discussion die a natural death. I could obviously continue indefinitely, but, the rest of the day calls, and I should get to it…. If you have any thoughts on these conclusions of mine, please feel free to leave them in the comments section below…. and remember, please, the rules of engagement prohibit outright flaming on this site…. Confine name-calling to short, impersonal epithets, and please, include some logical thought in your responses, as neglecting to do so wastes my time, and everyone else’s…. I don’t mind being called a fool, but, as I said, let’s see your evidence….

“I find your lack of faith in the Force disturbing….” — Darth Vader (Star Wars)
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Well, it’s clear that I’ve done some decent work in the past, though this may or may not fall into that category. Regardless, I like it, so it stays…. Plus, this way, I can be done, and get on with what is important, like staring at the clock to make it go faster….. Where did I put those time distortion pills, anyway?…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Striving for retail dominance in a wholesale world….

Posted on June 20, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,

Shhh!…. Quiet! Don’t make a sound….. I’m writing this in stealth mode, so please, don’t, whatever you do, read this aloud. I’m trying to avoid letting Murphy know I’m up…. When I booted up this morning, I found that he had left a calling card, of sorts, when I discovered Smart Bee had once again started its funky corrupted file activity, refusing to de-minimize from the task bar. Murphy, the asshole, has left me with this glitch a number of times in the past, always bringing the Pearling process to a halt, as I have to then waste time uninstalling and reinstalling the program. But, I got that done quickly and silently today, and have somehow managed to get started without any further nonsense from him…..

Which, of course, brings us back to the usual difficulty encountered at this time of day, the Mystery of the Blank Screen, and the ongoing struggle to fill that screen with something worthwhile. Operating in stealth mode should, one would expect, eliminate at least some of that struggle’s drama, but, I find that it has no more inherently interesting subject matter than any other style I’ve tried to use. I’m not sure what I expected, but, I didn’t expect to still have to look so hard for stuff to write; apparently, Murphy’s influence extends further than anticipated, all the way into stealth mode, and beyond….

Oh, well, such is life in the blog world, I suppose, and, since I’m prohibited from whining about it, we may as well just get on with the rest of today’s business…. It will be another struggle, but I’m kind of getting used to that, so, let’s try to give Murphy a little bit of a shock, and just ignore his machinations, as much as we can…..

I don’t know about y’all, but I can ignore with the best of them, having long observed how most of the American public uses Denial as their most favored attitude, for any and all information that is unpalatable. I mean, look around you…. I can’t even count how many people in the American public there are that actually trust politicians, even to the extent of believing what they say, but, there are a LOT of them, and if that isn’t Denial, then I’m missing something…..

Before this turns into a very quiet rant, we’ll go on…. All things considered, I think that would be best. And, since I’ve blathered enough for TWO intro sections, we’re legally good to go…. Shall we Pearl?…..

“Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life.” — Oscar Wilde
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Below, you will find one of the oddest pearls I’ve ever picked out…. Apparently, stealth mode does odd things to my inner brain, which controls all of my writing, connected as it is to my reasoning skills output collector….. Whatever…. The point is, this pearl has a very odd point, but one that, if used as intended, can actually increase your level of inner peace, and add to your positive karmic balance….. It may be a bit obscure, but, well, any pearl that starts, and ends, with Zippy can’t help that…. and, just in case it escapes your regard completely, I’ve added two extra pearls, making it a seven-star pearl, and much more amenable to translation….. Buena suerte!….

“.. I don’t understand the HUMOR of the THREE STOOGES!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.” — Smart Bee

“There’s a kind of freedom that comes from being completely screwed, because you know things can’t get any worse.” — The Freshman

“Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.” — James Russell Lowell

“I think I am an overnight sensation right now!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

See? I told you it was special…. Here then, are the Rosetta Stone keys, to help with the actual statement of today’s point…. or, if nothing else, the final straw that convinces you that I have completely lost touch with anything close to Reality…. Six of one, …..

“It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.” — Ovid [43B.C. – A.D.18]

“I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.” — August Strindberg

I love it when a plan comes together…. and, if this isn’t enough to convince you of my strangeness, well, then, nothing will…. If this is the case, I would like to suggest you seek professional help, before it is too late…..
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“Poetry isn’t obscene, it’s per verse.” — Smart Bee

Well, no, it’s not, except in those cases where perversity is the intended state…. See “The Devil’s Dictionary” by Ambrose Bierce for numerous examples of how perverse poetry can be… One must remember that poetry is, after all, an expression of human spirit, and will at times assume ALL human characteristics, of which both obscenity, and perversity, are well known to be present in numerous persons….. Especially those involved in public demonstrations of their nature, such as politicians who legislate morality after each sado-masochistic episode, or preachers who spout off, giving sermons about morality after talking on the phone to their mistresses…. SIGH…. People are strange, it’s true…. Ah well, rather than rant, let us rhyme…. In keeping with this theme, here is a poem of mine, written fairly recently, that demonstrates not perversity, nor obscenity, but, a bit of pensive laughter at myself….

“Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity. No resemblance …” — Lazarus Long, from Robert A. Heinlein’s “Time Enough For Love”

Fine and Good, Good and Fine

A pig in a poke’s got nothing on me,
cuz I’m as confused as a man can be.
This ol’ world’s got me spinnin’ around
cussin’ and spittin’, a penny for a pound.

Forty ‘leven times since I was a kid, well,
I’ve fallen in love, ‘least too close to tell.
Every damn time, it all went to crap,
Forty ‘leven times I’ve felt like a sap.

‘Course, each time it happens, I forget the last;
why not? I’m havin’ such a blast….
Livin’ in each moment, filled with joie de vivre,
’til it’s all gone away again, nothin’ left up my sleeve.

Don’t want y’all to think I’m sad or blue,
life’s full of sorrow, lots for me, and/or you..
T’other side of that coin, we can be glad,
is joyful love, and that ain’t at all bad.

My road’s been littered with parts o’my heart,
each one colored with trust, which isn’t always smart.
Yet, long as I don’t lose my connection to joy,
I’ll find my own true love, and be a happy boy.

It’s been some kinda fun, even when I’d take a fall,
and doin’ it over makes no sense at all, at all
Day after day, I keep on keepin’ on, as it’s said;
Guess I’ll keep on doin’ that ’til I’m dead.

‘Nuff said….

~~ gigoid, tongue firmly in cheek…. ~~

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“Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an ‘inconvenience.’ We have opted instead for an authoritarian system *disguised* as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.” — Frank Zappa

Wow…. I’ve seen this before, and, I believe, have even used it to illustrate a point in a rant, sometime in the distant past. Upon reading it again, however, I see that it is not merely a good point, but could easily be construed as an accurate and complete statement of the general thrust and content of almost all of my rants about the BRC, and the situation we Americans face with such an unprincipled mass of idiots running the circus in Washington, D.C. These three sentences politely, and accurately, describe the situation we find ourselves a part of, and could be used, almost without editing, for a mission statement for the most of the rants on this blog….

Yesterday, and the past few days, I’ve been baiting the NSA and FBI, deliberately using as many of the key words they search for in their (formerly) clandestine theft of data from the American public, which they justify by using the magic phrase, “national security”. I have not had any contact from any of them, but have little doubt that my blog is being watched for signs of possible threat to their paranoid fears. I figure as long as they’re watching me, it may keep them from more mischief with someone else. I also figure I’m fairly safe, as I don’t actually say or do anything that is even marginally dangerous, beyond the danger inherent in merely telling the truth…..

Today, I’m going to once again shock everyone, and NOT rant about this…. I’ve said it all enough recently, and don’t want to continue to beat on a horse that is, if not already dead, is in critical condition…. This is not to say that the issue is resolved; far from it. I just think that what Frank said above is succinct enough to make the point today, and don’t really want to take away from that by belaboring the point. I know, it is unusual for me to limit my output like this, but, hey, if I can’t change my own policies, who will?…. It’s not as if I don’t intend to rant again….

For now, though, we’ll let what Frank gave us make our point, and hope that letting y’all off the hook for another thousand words of my prattle will count for a positive note…. I imagine, sometime in the next few days, something will happen out in the BBR to draw my ire again, and cause me to let out my ire on some deserving public figure, or agency…. History is on my side in that respect, as it never takes long to find some part of the government screwing somebody over, or some politico making some stupid remark. In fact, it often comes to having to pick and choose from a significant number of issues to find just one that needs discussion…. It’s a fertile field for plowing, for sure….

Now that I’ve managed to spend five paragraphs in a discussion of peripheral issues, I’ll call it a day…. Stay tuned to this station for future rants, hopefully as succinct as the three sentence indictment that prompted today’s outburst of intellectual flotsam…. You never know when it might be something you need to know, or consider, for your own welfare…..

“.. I’m IMAGINING a sensuous GIRAFFE, CAVORTING in the BACK ROOM of a KOSHER DELI –” — Zippy the Pinhead
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“Remember what the dormouse said… FEED YOUR HEAD…” — Grace Slick

Sorry ’bout that last section…. I don’t know about y’all, but sometimes when I start writing, it’s much like how one feels imagining oneself to be caught in the water draining out of the tub, spinning uncontrollably in a clockwise direction, then finally, when dizzy and half-drowned, one is swept, nay, ignominiously sucked down the drain, lost forever in the pipes draining to the distant sea…. Well, okay, so maybe that’s just me….

I’ve been at this for over two hours now, and have NO idea what I wrote, for the most part…. I’d better go check it out…. Well, it seems okay; it is certainly appears much more organized than it felt while composing it. Given the nature of the beast, I’ll take it, and run…. To reiterate, ’nuff said….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Parking parallel is de rigeur on Mondays….

Posted on June 12, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Fiddle di dee, fiddle di die, the cow jumped not over, but, onto the moon, bending and breaking it beyond all recognition. The cat wasn’t playing a fiddle, but did have a boom box blasting…. according to the latest reports. Little dogs do more than just laugh at such sport, they usually pee on it. And dishes, well, they’re well known to prefer dark, sharp knives over spoons anyway….

“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” — Willie Wonka

Especially when it attacks first thing, before coffee, before reason…. It is smart, therefore, to just go with the flow, and let it out as needed, knowing full well the consequences of such actions. One must, however, consider the overall effect, and keeping it inside can cause much more damage than letting it out. As I am fully aware of all this, when it strikes me, I just let it right out, and use the time I didn’t spend agonizing over it to clean up whatever spillage there might be…. saves me time and energy this way, y’know?….

It also allows me to find a way back to reality from the fringes inhabited by all such nonsense; such foolishness cannot spend too much time close to the normal side of reality, lest it turn mundane, so one must go where it resides in order to pluck it up for use. I find it to be a quite relaxing time, those hours spent in pastimes reminiscent of circuses and carnivals, soaking in the happy laughter of fools, and the merry giggles of the clowns. Even the “nyuck, nyuck, nyuck” sounds coming from the Stooges corner bring no annoyance, as they blend right in with the blaring of the bicycle horns and big, red noses worn by so many in that neighborhood…..

Hmm… looks like I wandered a little further away from the mundane than I had realized; that last paragraph slipped over into nonsense again, instead of heading back toward sober reason. I do enjoy my time there, but, I tend to have trouble letting go of it; for a while upon returning, it is difficult to even consider religion or politics, without applying some Carlinesque twists, to soften its gravity.

Needless to say, it also makes it hard to rant about much of anything else, as everything is viewed through a prism of humor and silliness, and doesn’t appear half as bad as it actually is in real time. All in all, this is probably a good thing, as it keeps reality from hurting too much on a daily basis; it merely makes it hard on the political/religious reformer in me, to NOT be able to rant sufficiently….

I suppose that idea makes y’all burgeon with hope for this Pearl, but, that, too, is a foolish thing to do… As yet, this Pearl has no obvious shape or intent, so it’s next to impossible to say what will happen… The first pearl Smart Bee shows me will often set the tone for the whole day, so we’ll see how that goes… I do know that starting with nonsense always makes me happier… I may be a reformer, and a curmudgeon, but I really do enjoy life more when my bozoid side comes out early in the day…. Who knows? We might even end up with something amusing, or elevating, rather than something depressive and dark…. I suppose, though, we’ll never know if we don’t get on with it, so….. Shall we Pearl?…..

“I only wish I may see your head stroked down with a slipper.” — Terence (185-159 BC) — Act v, Sc. 7, 4, (1028.)

Now, see what you’ve done!…..
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Okay, so I get it now…. The universe sometimes gives us directions we may not clue into fully…. I see, now, why reality chose to push me toward silliness and bozosity today (Bozosity is the state of being a bozo….). What we have, following this introductory blurb, is a group of aphorisms about religion…. I guess it made more sense to put it like this today, than it did to rant about it, as I normally do… Or, maybe reality is tired of my rants… either way, y’all win today, because this is just as pointed, just as accusatory, and, in its own quiet little way, as much of an indictment as are my most telling, and compelling rants on the subject…. Enjoy! And be careful, the point it makes is quite sharp, and WILL cut you if you are negligent of care…..

Who sees with equal eye, as God of all,
A hero perish or a sparrow fall,
Atoms or systems into ruin hurl’d,
And now a bubble burst, and now a world.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Man, Epistle i, Line 87

“Religion is the opiate of the masses.” — Karl Marx

“You can’t depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.” — Richard Milhouse Nixon (1952)

SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

— Bother! said Pooh, after he spoke the Lord’s name backward.

“If God is dead, who will save the Queen?” — Smart Bee

“True myth may serve for thousands of years as an inexhaustible source of intellectual speculation, religious joy, ethical inquiry, and artistic renewal. The real mystery is not destroyed by reason. The fake one is. You look at it and it vanishes. You look at the Blonde Hero–really look–and he turns into a gerbil. But you look at Apollo, and he looks back at you. The poet Rilke looked at a statue of Apollo about fifty years ago, and Apollo spoke to him. ‘You must change your life,’ he said. When the true myth rises into consciousness, that is always its message. You must change your life.” — Ursula K. LeGuin

Whoa! Sorry, that last one slipped in there without telling me… but, it kind of fits, if you look at it with just the right squint to the eye…. I mean, if the first six quotes didn’t give you a clue about how religions are bad for you, the last one drives the point home, with the very last line….. I don’t know about y’all, but I LOVE THIS STUFF….. Oh, and just in case it wasn’t clear already….

“A mind not to be changed by place or time, the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” — John Milton
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It’s probably a literary law of some kind, but, when one is given a hint like the one above, one MUST take that hint…. Far be it from me to ignore a slap to the side of the head like this one…. Here, then, is the poem to which Ms. Le Guin refers, above…

Archaic Torso of Apollo

We cannot know his legendary head
with eyes like ripening fruit. And yet his torso
is still suffused with brilliance from inside,
like a lamp, in which his gaze, now turned to low,

gleams in all its power. Otherwise
the curved breast could not dazzle you so, nor could
a smile run through the placid hips and thighs
to that dark center where procreation flared.

Otherwise this stone would seem defaced
beneath the translucent cascade of the shoulders
and would not glisten like a wild beast’s fur:

would not, from all the borders of itself,
burst like a star: for here there is no place
that does not see you. You must change your life.

~~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~~

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“I don’t want to panic, but my alphabet soup says, “Forget about me … just try to save yourself.” — Tom Wilson (“Ziggy”)

Now you know just how I feel every morning! This is the real reason I gave up on Alpha-Bits cereal, in spite of what was published, and in spite of whatever you may have heard. I got tired of being warned every morning re: approaching Armageddon, and started eating more oatmeal, just so I didn’t have to face that every day. It’s disheartening to be reminded on a daily basis that your breakfast is significantly smarter than the majority of US citizens, at least when it comes to their government, which is completely controlled by corporate interests, as well as when it comes to society at large, about which one may confidently say the same.

We won’t even bother to mention the religious hierarchies’ connections to temporal authority, or to the shadow masters; we took our shots at them above, and wish to be fair, if not merciful. We’ll just say this on that: if you think the churches and preachers are NOT in the pockets of the corporations, well, I suggest you try to obtain for yourself a new mind, because the one you have isn’t working very well….

I mean, think about it… Who are the favorite members of any congregation, no matter what the denomination (clue: it has to do with the word “denomination”….)? Why, the men, and a few women, who contribute the most to the church roof fund, right? The ones who put the most gelt in the collection plate are the ones the church leaders ~~pander~~, er, cater to, not the ones who reach out with empty hands….

“If this isn’t war, why is CNN massing on the border?” — Smart Bee

Let us also NOT get into the culpability the media holds for its part in the farce that comprises the play put on the world’s stage by society. We could point out the numerous, obvious perpetrations of cluelessness, or lament the lack of courage in modern journalists, either of which is common in the media.

How else can one explain how sheer lies are repeated endlessly, without challenge? How can one explain why certain questions aren’t asked, or certain articles suppressed, at the request, or the legal insistence of governmental authority? It isn’t explainable, unless one remembers that the media relies on government to supply the reason for its existence, and one is reluctant to bite the hand that feeds, eh what?….. Sycophancy is not limited to dweebs, and/or acolytes…

Instead, let us indict the true culprits for today’s worldly mess…. ourselves. Pogo, by Walt Kelly, said it long ago…. “We have met the enemy, and he is us…..” We are responsible for all that is wrong with the world, because we, the great unwashed masses, allow the governments and churches, and their puppet masters, the corporations, to determine how the world will be run…. We accept all their lies, and go on with living our lives as slaves, subject to the whims and twists of fate, because we refuse to take the reins of our own lives into our hands, and assume control….

The shadowy rich assholes who are the real power behind all the governments of the world are not going to stop their self-centered, selfish hoarding of the world’s resources, nor will they ever make a decision based on the welfare of society as a whole. They will always make their decisions in relation to what is most beneficial for themselves, and what will allow them to maintain their stranglehold on the rest of the world….

That is their primary concern, and they have guarded that concern for well over three thousand years, without ever letting the rest of humanity realize to any great degree just how much they control…. No other theory holds any water, nor fits the given facts of history, as well as this, and I regard it as gospel truth…. According to the available evidence, this is not a theory, so much as it is a fait accompli….

“In the game of life you get to choose where you keep your brain – heads you win, tails you lose.” — Smart Bee

I guess I had a rant in there after all…. We are all screwed, ffolkes, just as often and as hard as THEY want; moreover, unless we decide, as a group, to do something about it, it isn’t going to change until we are all dead and gone, leaving this planet, and the universe, to go on without our promise, or our participation…. I hate to be a downer, but, I don’t see how we can fix it, without some serious upheaval, for which I am not particularly hopeful, given the general level of “stupid” in much of humanity…. Oh well, as Epictetus said, “Happiness and freedom depend on the realization of one principle. Some things are within your control. And, some things are not.” So be it….

“UH-OH!! I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE’S having a NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!! Ha ha.” — Zippy the Pinhead
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I am afraid I have to report that most, if not all, of the above was written while in an altered state of consciousness…. which should make for some interesting reading, you betcha…. Let’s just see….. Well, since it would be overly egotistical to call it brilliant, I’ll merely say, well done, and let it go at that…. For a morning so devoid of original direction, it seems to have found its way into the light fairy well, which bodes well for the rest of the day…. That is, if I were the type to be susceptible to precognitive signs…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Deluxe accommodations don’t come cheap….

Posted on May 31, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
And then, I woke up…. old, and in pain. This, however, is not a surprise, as I’ve awakened to that state on a daily basis for some time now. Today, I am forced to acknowledge the reaching of a new level of both, as my age-related conditions continue to worsen at a slow but steady rate. SIGH…. It gets harder each day, a bit, to maintain the attitude I’ve tried to keep, to never give in completely to the demands of that pain, or the aging, at least to the extent that it keeps me from doing what I wish to do, or, at the very least, what I intend to do.

I firmly believe that giving in to age is the point where time starts to win, to gain the upper hand in our life-long struggle against entropy. We all, at that point, start the slow, inevitable slide toward death from old age. I intend to die only when I’m ready, when I’ve seen and done all I intend to do and see, and not before; I WILL NOT give in….

That being said, I think I’ll go take a short nap….. Okay, now I feel better, and the coffee is hot; what could be better? Some rest, a pill to combat the pain, and some hot coffee; the only thing I could add would be a good laugh, and for that, I merely need to take a moment to go look in a mirror…. 😆 Yep, works every time; I just look at this self-styled Roman nose, which my daughter refers to as Mount Olympus, and I can’t stop the grin, scary as it is, with the number of teeth I don’t have staring out. Oh well, another five months or so, and my new bionic teeth will be ready to install, and I’ll once more be able to smile at babies without giving them nightmares…. Hey, a guy’s got to have a goal, right? For now, that’s mine….

“It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.” — Aeschylus

I KNEW there was a reason for all this folderol this morning…. I was merely setting the scene, to keep things interesting, for me, if not for y’all. I try, and try, but the intro section just gets away from me every day; I can’t seem to find a consistent approach to it, that fulfills all I want it to do. I’m probably blocking any success in this effort myself, unconsciously, just to play a head game.

My unconscious mind is sneaky that way, and has always had an odd sense of humor, to boot; at times, it can be a trial. But, since I don’t have any choice in the matter (we can’t pick the personality of our unconscious, any more than we can pick family…. it’s just there….), I have to deal…. Today, I’m going to deal like this, with a quick escape…. look over there for a second….

Shall we Pearl?…..
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Fortunately, or unfortunately, you decide, the pain I’m experiencing is going to cut short my sitting time, which precludes, to a certain extent, any long, involved writing…. Hence, the following seven-star pearl, which sort of chose itself (the giveaway on that is the two quotes from SB itself, at the beginning, and at the end, under the gun, and out the door, so to speak….), and somehow seemed to fit right in with the way my mind is proceeding this morning…. If it is unclear to you, well, just let it simmer awhile on a back burner, let it reduce, and it will be clear, probably without having to run it through a strainer, or a China cap….. If it is STILL unclear, well, just chew on the final aphorism, and that will do….

“I give up, what is the meaning of life? — Smart Bee

“The best sort of revenge is not to be like him who did the injury.” — Antoninus

“The essence of genius is knowing what to overlook.” — William James

Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured. — Ambrose Bierce “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.” — Holden Caulfield in J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye

“The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, in so far as it stands ready against the accidental and the unforeseen, and is not apt to fall.” — Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, vii, 61

“Your education has failed you if you have not learned forgiveness, compassion, and love.” — Smart Bee
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Sometimes, I gotta go with the classics, with good reason…..

A Boundless Moment

He halted in the wind, and — what was that
Far in the maples, pale, but not a ghost?
He stood there bringing March against his thought,
And yet too ready to believe the most.

“Oh, that’s the Paradise-in-bloom,” I said;
And truly it was fair enough for flowers
had we but in us to assume in march
Such white luxuriance of May for ours.

We stood a moment so in a strange world,
Myself as one his own pretense deceives;
And then I said the truth (and we moved on).
A young beech clinging to its last year’s leaves.

~~ Robert Frost ~~

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As mentioned too often above, I’m not able to sit for long today, so here is another randomly chosen pearl for your perusal, and enjoyment…. Hey, it’s easier than a rant, or a discussion…. I had a really good pearl ready for use too, from Ralph Waldo, but, we’ll save it for later…. Today, this is what you get….. so enjoy, for goodness sake…. How often do you dodge two bullets in one day?…… I did add some comments, in parentheses, so, all is not lost; I still went too far…..

“Nice underwear. Perhaps you should take them off your head.” — Smart Bee

“The comfort of a friend may be taken away, but not that of having had one.” — Seneca

“I don’t mind being in touch with reality, as long as I don’t have to live there.” — Smart Bee
(With my complete agreement…)

“It’s against my programming to impersonate a deity.” — C3PO
(But, not mine…. )

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” — Albert Camus
(Yes, yes, I do both…. expend the energy, and realize it…. )

“Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.” — Graham Greene
(I didn’t say it, but, it’s nice to know someone else gets it….)

If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re missing the joke.” — Smart Bee
(Here, too, I agree strongly…. )
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Though I admit to placing the following in the position in which you find it, I take no responsibility for its presence beyond that admission. My subconscious mind FORCED me to put it there, with threats of dire consequences should I refuse…. Sue me, when it comes to threats from my subconscious, I’m a wimp, because it knows ALL my weaknesses and fears….So, here it is, such as it is (I have to admit, it has style, if nothing else going for it…..)….

“Barbie says, Take quaaludes in gin and go to a disco right away! But Ken says, WOO-WOO!! No credit at ”Mr. Liquor”!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

I don’t know…. it kind of fits in with the rest of today’s futility, you think? Oh well, I guess there have been worse days around here, though it’s hard to say when…. I’m washing my hands really well after I finish today, you can be sure….. You probably would be wise to do the same….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Twice around the neck should do nicely….

Posted on May 3, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,

“And then I woke up.” — Smart Bee

That, I think, is better….. I’ve searched and struggled, and tried a hundred different ways to open up these Pearls, and nothing works more than once. But, I’ve decided. if I use an ending for my beginning, it could work as a template…. I just write that first line, and follow it up with some of my favorite nonsense, or maybe a poetic quatrain…. or just some oatmeal, figuratively speaking. I may never speak in the literal sense again; things always seem to get serious when I do, so why should I put myself through that? And figurative oatmeal is a piece o’cake, so to speak, without frosting, so that works, too…. Let the Metaphorse be with us!….

I would be very appreciative if anyone can tell me what I said above, literally….. I don’t think it can be done, but I wanted to check with the experts. I wrote it with as few contact points with reality as I could, without it starting to look fake, or as if I was just putting in the time, without any real effort. If there isn’t anyone who knows what I meant by the above, I’ve accomplished my task; if it makes any sense, I’ve screwed it up, again, and we’ll have to start over….. You don’t really want me to have to do that, do you? I didn’t think so…. once through is plenty, when it comes to my intro sections, so it seems…..

Perhaps I should do this more often…. ‘this’ being a very early up, call and jump into cab, zip to hospital lab, and back again, all before starting in on this Pearl. The intro section is sort of writing itself, even though all my eyes want to do is close up shop, & go back to bed….. which could yet happen. In fact, I think that’s a good idea, and goodness knows it won’t hurt anything, as nobody is currently reading my blog anyway…. got a total of five “Likes” yesterday, matching the previous 24 hours, and making it three days now with virtually no visits from anyone, not just regulars…. Is there a WordPress vacation going on, or something?…. Ah well, since I write for me, not for anyone else, it doesn’t matter anyway…. Therefore….. NAP TIME!…. I’ll be back….

“Life eludes logic.” — Smart Bee

Aha! That explains all of it! Now we can get on with the normally scheduled activities of the day, since Smart Bee has taken over the creative process completely. I suppose I could chalk all of it up to getting up so early, but, that’s never been acceptable before, and I doubt it would fly now. Though I’m a firm believer that the worm should have stayed in bed, being the bird is usually a better bet, at least for breakfast. And, yes, we are already lost again, somewhere in the vast fields of illogic…. which, as we all know, is right next door to chaos. Rather than fall over into that realm, I think we should just rip off our clothes, and dive in….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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It turns out that my inclination to rant is connected to my overall feeling of security….. For over two years, I took shot after shot at the BRC, organized religion, the sex slavery trade, global warming, overpopulation, and whatever else came under my scrutiny that caused even the slightest degree of outrage.

During all that time, I was struggling mightily to survive in the real world, living on a small fixed income, “depending on the kindness of strangers”, and more importantly, friends, to help me get through each month. The outrage at the issues that concern me seem to have been driven, emotionally, by my economic status, and my anger at the slowness of the federal bureaucracy…..

Now that I’ve been awarded my Social Security benefits, I am no longer in danger of starving, and can look forward to retirement with a bit more positive outlook, since I’ve doubled my monthly income, into a bracket that, while I can’t be labeled as affluent, it does give me the wherewithal to be comfortable. Since that happened, my outrage is harder to find, and I am having a hard time getting worked up too much over the stuff that was bothering me for so long…. I’d hate to think that I’m so shallow as to lose my radical position to bribery…. Money, while it won’t buy happiness, certainly keeps one more comfortable while looking for it…. and, since I was relatively happy when I didn’t have it, there is no reason not to be happy now.

Since I’m not inclined to rant, Smart Bee has been quite cooperative in pulling out acceptable groups of pearls, including the seven-star harlequin variety below…. This one has a message, but, the message is more non-verbal than spoken wisdom…. You’ve got to just close your eyes, (AFTER reading them, of course….), and let them percolate in your mind…. the message will float to the surface after a moment or two…. if not, well, you’ve had a nice little nap, and we can go on….. Enjoy!….

“Remember what the dormouse said… FEED YOUR HEAD…” — Grace Slick

“I don’t ask questions, I just have fun!” — Bugs Bunny

“He can’t be a man cause he does not smoke the same cigarettes as me.” — Mick Jagger

“As you believe, so it is for you.” — Richard Bach

“The laws of conscience, which we pretend to be derived from nature, proceed from custom.” — Michael de Montaigne (1533-1592) — Essays, Book i, Chap. xxii, Of Custom

“And the people bowed and prayed, to the neon Gods they’d made.” — Paul Simon

“His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools: the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans – and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, ‘You can’t trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so let’s have a drink.'” — Terry Pratchett, ‘Small Gods’

I keep telling you, it’s all in the wrist, see?…..
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A poem leaked out this morning, so, here ’tis, such as it is…. I hope you like it…..

Funny Bones

Dreaming the way home, lost, unseen,
from the dance, where
he felt so free, and clean.
Sorrow couldn’t find him there.

Waiting, filling up the hours, hoping,
some connection can be found
keeping busy as bees, coping.
Love creeps in, without a sound.

Fat days, skinny nights, passionate
visions of semi-conscious entities,
cannot seem to fully illuminate
or hide our innermost frailties.

Resolute, find the perfect sense, codify
simple rules with every breath
never waiting, anxious to modify.
fear nothing in life, not even Death.

~~ gigoid ~~

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Since I don’t have a rant in me today, I’m going to cheat, and go with a really old Pearl, from October of 2011, before changing to the format we see today…. I like it, and so will you…. (that’s a pre-hypnotic suggestion of a subliminal nature, so you may as well just go with the flow, and enjoy it…. Resistance is futile…..)

Ffolkes,
It’s really too bad that we can’t just shoot somebody when they deserve it; I’ve got a long list of folks who do, as do all of you, I’m sure. But the cops get real upset about it, and then the neighbors will talk behind your back, even the dog probably won’t like you anymore. Plus, later on, when you’re feeling all regretful and stuff, it’s just a pain, and all in all, not worth the bother. Insulting them to their face, or sending them into financial ruin, will just have to satisfy that urge for blood; hell, make it good and nasty, & maybe they’ll go shoot themselves! That’s the ticket…..

In case you couldn’t tell, I woke up with crankypants already on, and I’ve been looking for something or somebody to let it out on for the last hour or so. Feeling this way, and not having an acceptable outlet, is extremely frustrating, and as a former psych tech, I know it’s not good for me to keep all this bottled up inside. I suppose I could go out and find some unarmed idiot to get into an argument with, so I can let it all out on them.

But that isn’t kosher, (kosher means anything not touched by pig blood), nor is it a good policy for improving one’s karmic burden. But then I’d feel like dirt, because one of my own pet peeves is when someone dumps crap on me that I don’t deserve. In the final analysis, that is a lose-lose situation, with both parties walking away feeling worse than when they started.

Ah, the hell with it. I’m just going to go out the way I am, and the world can just deal with me the best it can. I’m outnumbered, so at least it’s a level playing field to start…..I guarantee it won’t end that way……let you know tomorrow how it went……if I survive. The world at large has some pretty good crankypants, too…..

Euripides was wont to say, “Silence is an answer to a wise man.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of Bashfulness

“He is the best of men who dislikes power.” — Mohammed

“As long as there have been humans we have searched for our place in the cosmos. Where are we? Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe. We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers.” — Carl Sagan

Life must go on;
I forget just why.
— Edna St. Vincent Millay, ‘Lament’, Second April (1921)

“And the vision that was planted in my brain still remains.” — Paul Simon

So ends the bloody business of the day.
— Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
— The Odyssey of Homer, Book xxii, Line 516

A fitting end to another gem….. y’all take care out there…..
__________________________________

All things considered, this went well…. It certainly stood up to the proofing, only needing on letter change, and one line of the poem that needed to be smoother. If I were still working for the government, I could say it was good enough for that, but, since I don’t work for them anymore, standards have to be a bit higher…. Fortunately, it does meet those standards, insofar as they exist around here at all, so…. I think if you use some oxygenated cleaning solution on that, it will come out okay….. 😀 Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

That particular radiologist has a toggle switch…..

Posted on April 28, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Forget the rest…. blessed are the coffee drinkers, for they shall see the day clearly….. before they bite anybody. It’s always a bonus when you can start the day without biting anyone…. Then, of course, there are the days when I WANT to bite somebody, even after coffee. I guess, if I slowed down long enough to look at it, those would be the days when I end up ranting on something or other, to sublimate the urge to bite. But, I never slow down that much, so we’ll never know….

Not that it would make any difference in how this intro got done. I think I’ll just start using up my emergency stash of intro tricks; if nothing else, that will force me to replenish those supplies, which always puts me in a better mood. It must be the part when I stick it to Murphy, the best I can, in order to get them put away where he can’t find them…. Well, actually, it’s a matter of distracting him, and hiding them while he’s busy, thus, he never knows I have them at all. It could be called cheating, but when it comes to Murphy, all bets are off; plus, in my opinion there is no such thing as cheating, not with him. He has no compunctions against cheating on me, so why shouldn’t I return that favor?

So, I guess we’ll use an emergency opening today….. Hmm… let’s see, which one of these won’t leave a mess? Maybe this one…..

Morning, ffolkes! It’s gigoid the exuberant, coming to you from the wilds of Northern California, where the girls are pretty, and the boys are strange. We’ll be spinning a lot of great music for ya today, so settle back in those easy chairs, tighten up them earphones, and let’s spin some licorice pizza for breakfast….. Here’s a little number from Paul Revere and the Raiders, coming at ya from gigoid-land…..

What do you think? Will it float? Will it get me through to another day’s dive? Is there anyone out there? Hello!!!!!…. Hmm. This is worse than I thought…. Well, I guess I’ll just have to go on to the morning dive, and hope that someone shows up along the way….. As usual, this nonsense got me far enough along so that I can legally call it an introduction, so we’ll take it and run with it, at least as far as the corner store…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.” — Vince Lombardi

I have spoken previously on this subject, of human will, and will no doubt do so again, as I believe it to be one of the key elements of finding the Truth in Life. It takes practice to be able to use it to full potential, practice that many people never take time for, to their regret. Without it, Life can be extremely difficult, as it will toss us about just like a small boat in a big storm at sea. But, when it is honed to a sharp edge, and tempered to a great strength, it can become one of our most powerful tools. It can help to bring peace and serenity into our lives, if used with intelligence, guided by strong ethical intent. I mention the latter because it is equally important to the proper use of the will; it is an unfortunate truth that the will can also be used to pursue results that are NOT beneficial for everyone, but only for the one who uses it without ethical direction, i.e. to benefit themselves, only.

“One sits down first, one thinks afterwards.” — Smart Bee

A long time ago, I found out something about society, and those who are ostensibly in charge of running it, that has had a distinct influence on my thinking. I discovered that what I heard in school, from books, did not match what I observed in society, and that the people who were in the positions of authority were, for the most part, not telling the whole truth, or, often, telling bare-faced lies. This had a profound effect on me, because I had always been inspired by the idea of a democracy, a system, and a place, where the people decided among themselves what was best for all; their collective will was to be carried out by the individuals elected to office…. At least, I’m pretty certain that is what our founding fathers envisioned when they cut loose from the monarchical rule of England….

Unfortunately, soon after beginning this experimental Utopia, the bankers started their campaign to pervert the system, buying control of key officials to make laws that favored them. At the same time, the preachers started their campaign to make sure the government was composed of men and/or women who were under their control, ethically and morally, using the time-honored tools of divine entitlement and guilt so that their interests could be monitored and controlled.

Today, well over 90% of all elected officials in this country are of one major religion, and the lobbyists who represent the money-lenders are more influential in making laws than the electorates who elect those officials. The campaigns to control the government have been quite effective, especially since nobody even notices most of the time, or says anything about it….

“To see the light at the end of the tunnel, you first have to be in a tunnel, then the correct tunnel and last, facing in the right direction…. What the heck are we doing in a tunnel anyway?” — Larry G. Smith

This is a pretty good description of modern society, I think. What the heck are we doing here, on the brink of extinction? The BRC, the 1%, whatever you choose to call them, have brought us to this dead-end tunnel, with no light at the end, because it is our own end we see. They, those in control, don’t choose to believe in the damage they have wrought to the environment, nor in the terminal nature of that damage, so, nothing is being done to counteract the suicidal policies our species continues to follow. And it’s all because of the people who have turned their will to the selfish pursuit of their own desires, with no thought to either the effect on others, or the potential danger of doing so. They don’t care, and the rest of us, because of our own lack of will, are going to pay the price right along with them, unless we wake up to the danger, now….

I could rant about this all day, and have seemingly done so in the past…. but, I’ve made my point for today, and rather than bore you to death with more logical, but time-consuming evidence or argument, I’ll leave it at that…. Well, almost….. We are all in danger of species extinction, this is a FACT, not a supposition. We have the means to save ourselves, IF we can find it within ourselves to rise up and throw out the people who are causing the problem. They are NOT going to stop themselves; if we want to live, we, the people, will have to MAKE them do it, or we will all die. It’s that simple, and that urgent…. If it doesn’t happen in this next decade, it will be far too late, because the ice is already melting, ffolkes, and it isn’t going to stop or slow down… It will only get faster with time….

gigoid has spoken…..

“If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.” — Ducharm’s Axiom
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Today’s haiku was prompted by the mild, yet, important rant in section one of today’s Pearl. I don’t have a poem ready to come out, again, so I’ll use an old one, and take the consequences, whatever they may be….. I guess I’m not a real poet, just a hobbyist…. Oh well, c’est la vie….. As every day this month, these are being included as part of the April National Poetry Writing Month Challenge, with the updates to be found here: http://www.napowrimo.net/ I hope you enjoy them…..

Haiku XVII

Time will tell the tale,
of Man’s fast rise, and long fall.
Soon, just memory.

A Seasonal Approach

Absolute stillness grips a frozen field,
anticipating dawn with such patient yield
morning burgeoning in dark winter’s hold
brings promise of tales yet to be told.

Lengthening days of pale sun unto night
slowly tell of time’s subversive flight
bringing such original songs of natural fire
with melodies complex in casual attire.

The months are certain they will always win
it is just the way it has always been.
None may argue, nor yet slow life down
Nor dim the eternal beauty of nature’s gown.

Winter evolves from fall into spring,
sending flocks and hearts ever awing.
Summer follows suit, t’other way ’round
Spring into fall, often without a sound.

Life is meant to be lived, beginning to end
choices abound, and change can be a friend.
Yielding with grace to reality’s compelling ploy
fills our plain existence with clean, honest joy.

~~ gigoid

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Time now for a return to the days of yore, or fore, whichever comes first in Smart Bee. Having ranted above, if only mildly, I shan’t attempt to keep your interest with yet another foray into critical essay. Besides, it’s time to lighten up a little, so let’s have some fun…. That will be my directing thought today, in picking out today’s old-school group of pearls for your perusal and delectation. I intend to have fun, and so must you…. You simply MUST, or I’ll die…. Well, no I won’t die, but, I’ll be disappointed, and who wants that? Not me….. Enjoy!….

Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

“Don’t worry about your heart. It will last you as long as you live.” — W. C. Fields

“Faith in immortality, like belief in Satan, leaves unanswered the ancient question: is God unable to prevent suffering and thus not omnipotent? or is he able but not willing to prevent it and thus not merciful? And is he just?” — Smart Bee

An it harm none,
Do what ye will.

— The basis of Wiccan philosophy

(1) You can’t win.
(2) You can’t break even.
(3) You can’t even quit the game.

— Ginsberg’s Theorem

Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg’s Theorem. To wit:

(1) Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
(2) Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
(3) Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

— Freeman’s Commentary on Ginsberg’s theorem

“Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.” — J. R. R. Tolkien

“He was the nearest thing I’d seen to a human being without actually being one.” — Spike Milligan
(A number of recent Presidents come to mind….)

Hmm…. a very eclectic group; no so much funny ha-ha, as funny strange…. They all have something good to say, though, so, it’s kind of like oatmeal…. not always the most thrilling breakfast item to find on your table, but it sure makes ya feel better all day….
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I’m not sure what to think of this one; I’ll have to reserve judgment until I proof it….. I have to say, I think I do better when I’m not paying close attention, like today. My head doesn’t feel as coherent as most of this seems to be… As it is, I have to say, well done, young paduan…. Or, maybe just, not bad, bozo…. Either way, I’m outta here…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Such fabulous shoes require spanking….

Posted on April 18, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
I should probably know better, by now, than to put fingers to keyboard during that period before the coffee is done. In spite of my advanced years, though, here I am, typing away, with nothing to say, just passing time until my brain decides to function…. Perhaps I should go first to perform my morning ablutions; yes, that is the right idea…. I go now, to worship at the porcelain throne, and contemplate my sins, myriad though they be….. according to the local preachers, anyway….. But, we don’t pay them any mind, as they are just jealous of my shirts…. I’ll be back, as Arnie is wont to say when in Terminator format….

Sorry ’bout that, ffolkes…. as I said, I should know better….. Well, here we are again, in a dangerous place. Why dangerous, you ask? It’s difficult to explain, but I’ll try…. It’s dangerous, for me, and consequently for you, because it’s too soon….. Too soon, you ask? Why, yes, I reply, too soon…. Well, what if we just waited a while? Hmm… not a bad suggestion, I think, but, probably destined to fail, as are almost any attempts to correct the situation, since I detect the hand of Murphy at work in this matter. As with almost everything he touches, waiting will only make things worse, as it gives him more time to turn his creativity to the punishment phase of his operation….

What now? Good question…. maybe I should look for a pearl for a moment or two, to see if there are any instructions or tips from my subconscious, or from the SB hackers….. be right back….

“The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master’s crib.” — Old Testament — Isaiah i, 3

Well, that’s an interesting find….. I generally try to stay away from the Old Testament; the pressure of life back then was such that the people who wrote the books in that tome tend to be more than a little touched by the sun, or Son, as you desire….. So, their advice is often a bit out of date, like when it counsels one on proper care of their ass (donkey variety, not human _ _ _ hole types…. Not too useful in changing the oil on your Toyota…. This one seems a bit more useful than most, though I’m really not absolutely certain what kind of metaphor they are trying to make…. maybe something to do with ownership rights; they were sticklers for the laws back then…. Let’s try again, since that one wasn’t quite sufficient….

“A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, When the age is in the wit is out.” — William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Much Ado about Nothing
— Act iii, Sc. 5

As you may have noted in past Pearls, I’m not overly impressed with Shakespeare, either, but have always admitted that he did write some fairly coherent, and majestically beautiful, prose, a category into which this one falls. It’s right on the money, in terms of its accurate take on human nature, in general, though it is a bit harsh on seniors, and does further the stereotype of seniors as being senile, a characteristic not all of us share.

I think this particular play, Much Ado About Nothing, is probably my favorite of all of his works, with the best cache of witty quotes and jokes, including a number of puns, and plays on words….. With Will, it’s kind of like Pearls…. there is a LOT of stuff written, but the gems are often buried in the crap surrounding it…..

And, on THAT note, one not completely inspiring, but true, I see we have reached that tenuous barrier that marks the boundaries of acceptable introductory sections…. In fact, it blew right past acceptable, and is now chasing after totally overboard…. Before it catches up to that, and the ensuing struggle tries to throw us all out of our seats, I think we’ll go for a dive…. now….. Shall we Pearl?
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MORAL, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.

“It is sayd there be a raunge of mountaynes in the Easte, on one syde of the which certayn conducts are immorall, yet on the other syde they are holden in good esteeme; wherebye the mountayneer is much conveenyenced, for it is given to him to goe downe eyther way and act as it shall suite his moode, withouten offence. _Gooke’s Meditations_

— Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

A reader commented to me recently that my rants have gone soft; she enjoys it when I rake someone over the coals, figuratively speaking, and asked me when I was going to get back on my white horse, or my soapbox, as the cliché may be…. I told her it is most likely a result of having some of the pressure of living removed, by the acquisition of my SS benefits, so much so that I’m finding it hard to summon up the outrage needed to rant effectively…. Like Voldemort told Harry, when he tried to use the Cruciatus Curse against Bellatrix Lestrange, in HP5-The Order of the Phoenix, “You’ve got to MEAN it, Harry!” Funny how not worrying about where the next meal is coming from takes some stress out of one’s life, isn’t it?….. Ha Ha…..

So, anyway, then I saw the above entry from the Devil’s Dictionary, and thought to myself, “AHA!” (I do that a lot…), “Now, here’s a subject worthy of a rant!”…. This is absolutely true, even though morality is sort of like reality…. there are as many versions of what it means as there are people…. of which, each and every one believes that what they perceive is the only correct version, obviously…. Right….

So, you can see the problem right away…. As a society, we have an unfortunate tendency to try to legislate morality, so that everyone is compelled to behave according to a commonly accepted pattern of behavior…. Supposedly, this legislation is supposed act as some sort of magic bullet, that will stop all the bad things from happening, like stealing, killing, and general misbehavior that is upsetting to the rest of society…. It never works, at all, but, we keep on passing laws designed to enforce a common morality anyway….

Such a drama is now being played out on the national stage, as the Senate just defeated the new gun control reforms that 90% of the populace wants in place. Out of a hundred Senators, it only took 45 Republicans to bring the proposed law down, meaning that once again, a very small percentage of people have forced their views on the rest of the public, to suit their own morality, and, more importantly, to suit their own special interests, who paid good money for their votes, dammit!…. I am somewhat piqued about this, but see little in the way of anything to be done that will make any difference, in the big picture…. No matter how stringent the laws, people who want guns will get them, and use them on other people…. The new laws would have made that a bit more time-consuming, but no less possible, or even less probable….

Since I can’t thing of anything positive to suggest, other than to stay alert to what may end up as a critical issue, I will fill out what should normally be a rant, with a number of cogent pearls, to try to jab the stick into the appropriate eyes…. and my friend will have to wait a bit longer for a good, old-fashioned brouhaha, as I get nasty and vicious in my denouncement of the BRC, the churches, and the corporate masters….. I will say this to her….. have no fear, my outrage isn’t gone, just temporarily dormant, and I WILL be back to rant….. meanwhile, enjoy these tasty gems…..

“The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.” — Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Linear Model: An assumption concerning the nature of reality applied unquestioningly to every relationship as though God had determined that truth must always run in straight lines. — Smart Bee

“The clinching proof of my reasoning is that I will cut anyone who argues further into dogmeat.” — Sir Geoffery de Tourneville (ca. 1350)

“Has history ever recorded a time when the majority was right?” — Lazarus Long

“He would be the finer gentleman that should leave the world without having tasted of lying or pretense of any sort, or of wantonness or conceit.” –Marcus Aurelius Antoninus (121-180 AD) — Meditations, ix, 2

“A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.” — Saul Bellow

“If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other.” — Carl Schurz (1829-1906)
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I suppose, in a way, I’ve failed at the poetry challenge for the month, as I haven’t been creating one per day (except haiku, which I produce whenever I wish….. like today’s, which is fresh and clean….), and again today will need to use one from my archives, which, fortunately, have enough to choose from for all the days I’ve missed…. This one speaks to, and about, the friends who helped keep my hope alive when I was struggling, just to get enough to eat….. As every day this month, these are being included as part of the April National Poetry Writing Month Challenge, with the updates to be found here: http://www.napowrimo.net/ I hope you enjoy them…..

Haiku VII

Making it all up
I go merrily along;
waters of Lethe.

~~ gigoid ~~

“But groundless hope, like unconditional love, is the only kind worth having.” — EFF co-founder John Perry Barlow, “Cynthia Horner’s Eulogy”, Apr. 1994

Unsolicited Gratitude

Fear becomes familiar when reality bodes us ill
pain assumes first position, no matter our will.
Powerless, we founder, no strength to prevail
anguished and afraid, against unwanted Fate we rail.

Still, a grain of hope deep inside, hidden well against need
gives us reason to survive, our starving souls to feed.
Failure of courage burdens time, of being bested,
until our souls, in submission, become foully infested.

Bitter tears wash through us each day, with little care,
no thought, no feeling, no wish, or need to be fair.
Rendered clueless, confusion falls upon us, as prey,
we surrender a piece of our soul, little as we may.

Yet, always, a bright beam of hope is seen from afar,
no matter how dreary, or dark, it may seem where we are.
None knows, nor would consent to tell, it seems
from whence it hails, or why it so brightly gleams.

Saving our sanity, absolving our unwanted fears,
dispelling the myths and lies that come with the years.
Each man has known the precious gift that hope may give
And gives glad thanks, as long as he may live.

~~ gigoid

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To attempt to soothe the ruffled feathers of my friend who wants me to rant, I give you now a rant from 2012, post-election category…. It kind of fits in with the morality play above…. sort of, maybe…. any who, enjoy…..
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“Integrity is when what you say, what you do, what you think, and who you ARE all come from the same place.” — Madelyn Griffith-Haynie

Okay, I know we are all probably sick to death of politics, and the election, and everyone would like to have a break from talking and thinking about it….. I know I am. So, I’ll try to make this fairly short, and make it the last political diatribe for at least a day or two. It may be possible, if nothing in the news jumps up to stimulate my outrage (which may be on a short vacation itself….. I hope. I could do with the emotional space….).

Any who…. here is what I was thinking when I came across this little gem…. What if we devised a test, that in some way would enable us, as voters, to determine the relative status of each of the candidates according to this rule? A way, as it were, to measure their degree of integrity, which is something I think we can all agree would be a good thing to see in a politician, unlikely as it may be. If we could, say, set up a scale of integrity, and make it law that a person had to score in the top 5% of the scale in order to merely be eligible for office, I think we might see a whole new set of politicians, who had never before been seen in public.

In fact, in thinking about the current crop of those in office, it is entirely possible that ALL of those in office now might not be eligible…. I am not excluding the President, out of fairness, though I personally believe he might score in the top 10%…. I still have questions about some of the stuff he has signed that didn’t seem to be very well publicized, as they didn’t exactly fit with his image….. The newest version of the Patriot Act, the NDAA, that he signed last New Year’s Day comes immediately to mind….

I don’t care if he did try to mitigate some of the deleterious effects of the law, he still signed the damn thing, thereby seriously endangering a number of the first 10 Amendments to the Constitution. Plus, the method he used to keep it from the public awareness was rather suspect, in my mind, and reminiscent of the old days under Nixon, Johnson, Reagan, and the two Shrubs, may they all rot in whatever level of Hell they are destined to occupy….. (I know, I know…. not being a Christian, that curse has little weight, but, hey, it’s a pretty clear indicator of my opinion of all of them….)

As I suspect it might, this grew to be somewhat more than I intended it to be, so I’ll cut it short here. But, my suggestion above, about the test for integrity that should be a given for political aspirants, is completely serious, and I wanted to get that out. Maybe by the next election, we can get the rest of the country to buy into it…. which should be interesting, and fun. I’ll be looking forward to the expressions on the faces of all the supporters of those now in office, when their people gloriously fail to pass the test…. and to the results it will have on society, should it ever be adopted…. I don’t see any way at all that it could do anything that wouldn’t improve the situation…..

And so I penned
It down, until at last it came to be,
For length and breadth, the bigness which you see.
— John Bunyan (1628-1688) — Pilgrim’s Progress, Apology for his Book
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Well, that went fairly well, if somewhat less than totally creatively…. I’m still looking for that magic bullet, unfortunately; old habits die hard. Nonetheless, I’m done, so that has to count for something, doesn’t it?…. Let’s see how it flows….. Okay, again, not too bad, all in all, so, it’s going out, as is…. gigoid has spoken. Also, gigoid is tired now, and wants to go back to sleep…. Say bye, bye, gigoid…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

We won’t be crenelating this year…

Posted on April 17, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Pasty faced goons marched across the square, eyes right, to view the diminutive man on the platform above them, at the head of the palace stairs. The short, obese figure of the Beloved Leader of Millions raised his hand in salute, continuing to watch the marching squads as they moved out of the square that fronted the palace. His eyes, surrounded by folds of flesh, peered with suspicion at the aged adviser on his left, then returned to focus on the soldiers, an expression of hunger on his face at odds with his pulchritude, for this was obviously a man who missed few meals.

As the final myrmidon passed under the archway leading away, into the city proper, the adviser turned to the fat young man, saying, “How did Your Eminence find the parade today?” Ignoring him, he turned and started indoors, his bodyguards falling in one step behind, as always, moving quickly, as if he had a mission, and was running late….. Little did he know just how late it was…..

I’m already bored with this one; it’s too close to reality, and I don’t much like what I’ve been seeing in North Korea…. It’s a bit of an unstable situation, for sure…. That obviously insane family has the country in a choke-hold, one I’ll never understand, as the people of that ancient land sadly bury their heads in shame, while the rest of the world just shakes their heads over Kim Il Jung, or Jung Il, or whatever his name is, and his latest outbreak of….. well, I was going to say insanity, but that’s too obvious…. it’s more like asininity.

How can any normally intelligent group of people stand for the crap he and his cronies are handing out? It seems to me that our best bet will be to just smuggle in a few pamphlets, and some guns, maybe a few preachers, (We’ve got more than enough, and can spare as many as we need to teach them how to accept our own lies instead of theirs….) and encourage the people there to do what they want to do, and kick the bastard out of town….. Oh well, just another crazy day on Planet Earth….

You will observe, please, I have indulged in a mini-religipolitirant in the first section, which is a clear indication that I’ve already given up on today’s effort, and am simply allowing my subconscious mind to have free rein in picking out subject matter. It’s a dangerous technique, but often results in some of my best Pearls….

Of course, it must be noted that the judgment of ‘good’ versus ‘bad’ is one that I make, so it is immediately suspect. I do try to maintain an objective eye in those judgments, however, and I’d say they are fairly accurate…. I DO have a lot of experience in reading different types and styles of literature, so my opinion is more than simply a reflection of how I feel about it; there IS some technical oversight being applied, as well….

None of which matters in the slightest, as it’s all moot (lovely word… moot…. it just SOUNDS useless, which is what it means…. I love English!), so it would no doubt be best for all of us if I got started on today’s dive. Anything will be better than pasty faced goons, insane world figures, and seemingly endless blather, right? You shouldn’t worry, though, as I really do have an unlimited supply of blather, so, we’re in no danger of running short in that regard….

Since I AM a nice guy, underneath my deliberate crust of curmudgeon, I’ll cease and desist now, and we’ll get on with our regularly scheduled program of rambling, hopefully insightful ranting, and raving, all directly in the face of Reality….. In other words, Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Among the many handicaps of old age which must be lived with is wisdom.” — Smart Bee

When I saw this pearl, I knew I had to use it, for it is a perfect example of the very wisdom of which it speaks, and MUST have been first noted by a senior citizen…. No one who hasn’t BEEN old will believe that there is any advantage to it. We are invulnerable when young, and just KNOW that we will be the first to breeze through our golden years on roller skates, never get old and creaky, and never, ever die. It is only when we actually reach the pinnacle that we see how high was the climb…. which is fine, because if we knew what we now know when we were younger, we would likely have just killed ourselves, or gone back to bed…..

I would try to explain to you the actual mind-set that is necessary to be able to understand this subtle concept, but, it wouldn’t do any good, because it is not something that CAN be explained…. It’s something that only real experience can teach. However, we CAN give directions, on the road to wisdom; we can supply indicators that will give the reader an idea of the inner path that must be traveled before reaching serenity, and an understanding of the knowledge of the ancients….

In a sense, this is what I try to accomplish with my old-school pearls…. I try to push, or nudge the mind to a place where it can perceive what the Universe has to offer, and if lucky, achieve an understanding of the underlying rationale of reality, which, in turn, brings inner peace, and the ability to perceive even more clearly than before…. I don’t always succeed in this, but, hey, it’s worth a shot, I figure, and it can’t hurt….

On that note, here is a five-star pearl, in the same vein as the first one, above…. Enjoy!…..

“It hath been an opinion that the French are wiser than they seem, and the Spaniards seem wiser than they are; but howsoever it be between nations, certainly it is so between man and man.” — Francis Bacon (1561-1626) — Of Seeming Wise

“When opponents present openings, you should penetrate them immediately. Get to what they want first, subtly anticipate them. Maintain discipline and adapt to the enemy in order to determine the outcome of the war.” — Sun Tzu

“Don’t let the same dog bite you twice.” — Chuck Berry

“Ignorance is king, many would not prosper by its abdication.” — A Canticle for Leibowitz

EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc. “The exception proves the rule” is an expression constantly upon the lips of the ignorant, who parrot it from one another with never a thought of its absurdity. In the Latin, “_Exceptio probat regulam_” means that the exception _tests_ the rule, puts it to the proof, not _confirms_ it. The malefactor who drew the meaning from this excellent dictum and substituted a contrary one of his own exerted an evil power which appears to be immortal. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”
(Aha! Obviously, some ancient form of a Preacher, before they thought up the word….)

See? I TOLD you it was subtle…. Hmm…. maybe TOO subtle…. Okay, here are two more pearls, making it a seven-star effort, to help bring the point home…..

“If thou shouldst lay up even a little upon a little, and shouldst do this often, soon would even this become great.” — Hesiod (c. 700 BC) — Works and Days, Line 360

“I don’t think it would have all got me down quite so much if just once in a while- just once in a while- there was at least some polite little perfunctory implication that knowledge should lead to wisdom, and that if it doesn’t, it’s just a disgusting waste of time.” — J.D. Salinger, Franny & Zooey

Okay, that’s about as clear as I can make it….. It’s all in the wrist, you see….. 😆
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Well….. Phew!…. They were bigger than me, boss, but I stuck with it, and I won! I didn’t cheat either…. The haiku, and the poem below, are both fresh out of my head (I’m surprised I was able to get them cleaned up, too, it was a messy process today….), and thus answer the “poem a day” challenge for this month, in the affirmative, for today, at least…. As every day this month, this is for the April National Poetry Writing Month Challenge, with the updates to be found here: http://www.napowrimo.net/ I hope you enjoy them…..

Haiku VI

Well, morning is come,
in spite of plain reluctance.
Too bad, so sad, deal…..

~~ gigoid ~~

Unheralded Sagacity…

To many, who will not see beyond their nose
the world becomes a dangerous place,
a bullet in every gun, a thorn with every rose,
no magic comes to save us, reality leaves no trace.

Minds closed, wrapped tight in manufactured fears,
men become clay, easily molded into complacent form.
No chains needed, held in thrall for years,
lies become gospel, when dishonesty is the norm.

Shed the chains you wear in durance, in kind;
Oh, ye of little faith, and much doubt
Strength is found in an unfettered mind,
Cry “freedom” with a great shout.

No help from any gods can hinder so much
as our own lack of confidence;
finding the light within, knowing it as such
confirms us, becoming consequence.

Illumination…..

~~ gigoid ~~

__________________________________

“A thing is not proved because no one has ever questioned it…Skepticism is the first step towards truth.” — Smart Bee

As I was cruising through Smart Bee this morning, looking for inspiration for section 3, I came across this little gem, unattributed. It sounds like it could have come from a number of different philosophers, all of whom are noted for their wisdom and perspicacity (another great word….). It is also a part of the human flaw that has contributed to many of the problems we face as a society, and as a species.

Actually, it might be more accurate to say that the lack of this in humans is part of the flaw; most people one talks to would not agree with this idea, as stated. In fact, it is directly opposed to the educational premises of many cultures, especially those heavily influenced by religions, such as those in Mexico, Central and South America, where Catholicism is a powerful factor in society, and in the governing of that society. India, and much of the Eastern Hemisphere, too, have societies that are heavily influenced by religion, though with more participant sects than is true in the Western Hemisphere; Hinduism, Buddhism, Shinto, to name a few, are always a contributing factor in the political events that have shaped history.

“The common dogma [of fundamentalists] is fear of modern knowledge, inability to cope with the fast change in a scientific-technological society, and the real breakdown in apparent moral order in recent years That is why hate is the major fuel, fear is the cement of the movement, and superstitious ignorance is the best defence against the dangerous new knowledge. When you bring up arguments that cast serious doubts on their cherished beliefs
you are not simply making a rhetorical point, you are threatening their whole Universe and their immortality. That provokes anger and quite frequently violence.” — G Gaia

As a result of this influence, many people tend to reject skepticism, as it doesn’t fit in with what they have been taught, which is to never question anything told to them by persons in positions of authority. Churches tend to encourage this sort of attitude, as their outrageous claims of divinity, and supernatural events performed by their deities, do not stand up well to scrutiny by an objective eye. The leaders of the churches thus play right into the hands of the Beloved Ruling Class, as they counsel their flocks to obey worldly, temporal authority as readily as they are conditioned to obey the secular variety…..

“I just stepped on a factoid!” – Zippy the Pinhead

Thankfully, not all of humanity is defenseless against this sort of conditioning. There are many ffolkes out there who don’t buy into the sort of psychological blackmail being promulgated by the preachers, priests, imams, and shamans of all shapes and sizes around the world, and a large number of them seem to end up blogging, right here on WordPress….

So, I end up preaching to the choir pretty often. But, that’s okay, too, because I know that occasionally, one of those folks who do believe in what they are told, without any questions or doubts, will read this, and, if nothing else, will think about what I’ve said…. Who knows, maybe I’ll go viral, and the whole world will remember that WE ALL ARE GODS?”…… (Remember? Axiom # 3…. “Thou art God, you know…. Let’s do lunch….)

“Youth of today! Join me in a mass rally for traditional mental attitudes!” — Zippy the Pinhead

I suppose that’s a note from my subconscious, to let me know I’ve gone far enough off the rails for now, and should let these good people get on with their lives, rather than wandering around in mine…. Goodness knows where we’ll end up…. Anyway, just remember to cultivate your sense of doubt, your “crap detector”, as it were, and never, ever take anything “on authority”, without tangible proof…. You’ll find Life to be less confusing that way; certainly, it makes it a lot easier to look yourself in the mirror in the morning…..

“This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities.” — Bertrand Russell
__________________________________

I must say, it’s refreshing to be able to compose an entirely fresh Pearl….. It’s all new and shiny, and just the way I like them…. Let’s see how it reads….. Okay, NOW you can alert the Pulitzer committee…. I may be prejudiced, but, this is a good one, and I’m proud to call it a Pearl of Virtual Wisdom, because it fits the title, exactly….. Rather than tempt fate, I’ll be going now….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Rejected submissions for breakfast?…..

Posted on April 15, 2013 by gigoid

>Ffolkes,

Eyes wide open, I begin to type, gathering speed with each stroke. The machine warms to my touch, and begins to help, anticipating my every letter, until I am flying across the keyboard. Words keep magically appearing on the screen, until, at last, my mind reaches a point where ideas clash, and crash, burning, falling out of the figurative sky that stretches across one chamber of my brain, and I stop….. Having run completely out of words, or concepts, I once more gaze longingly at the screen, and realize I’ve only typed one short paragraph, and shit, what am I going to do now, I can’t even do the James Joyce thing, even my own head is conspiring against me, what will I do now that all is lost?…..Whew! That was almost painful…. and not really very Joyce-like, was it? Having never read much of his work, I can’t say for sure, but, I think stream of consciousness style may not be my cup of tea. I used to be pretty adept at verbal streaming, but it’s been ages since we ( “we” being me, Tommy C, Mark R., and Perry) used to drive folks out of coffee shops, by loudly conversing in it, until people would get weirded out, and leave….. Of course, it was nonsensical jabberwock-style free-association talking, not exactly stream of consciousness, but, to me, there is little difference, as both are almost impenetrable, defying all attempts at understanding…

What also defies understanding is the intro section process of these Pearls….. I’m still searching for a way to segue into the rest of the Pearl that will be good for everyday usage, and not kill everyone with boredom, including myself…. Today’s intro is almost at a point where I will soon be giving serious consideration to suicide…. it’s that bad. Well, to me it is….. and I’m the one who has to put it together. How am I going to justify posting this crap, if it makes my stomach queasy? I could conceivably start an epidemic, of literary nausea, for which there is only one cure, which involves crucifixion of the author, followed by the burning of his carcass, while chanting apologetic curses to the universe….

Well, not really, but, I can see it happening, if I continue this abuse much longer…. I’ve managed to wander through four paragraphs, which, as you know, is the minimum requirement; thankfully, this means I can stop doing this, and get on to something a bit more entertaining, for you, if not for me. One of these days, I swear, I’m going to come up with the perfect opening, and y’all won’t be any happier than me when I do…. This is getting really old, not to mention moldy….. Oh well, who am I kidding? It’s all good, and, what’s more, it’s done….. Shall we Pearl?…..
__________________________________

RASCAL, n. A fool considered under another aspect. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

Hmm…. An interesting assumption is being made here, one that makes me think that this may just be talking about ME….. which, it would seem, makes me a rascal….. I don’t mind…. In fact, I kind of like the idea of being considered such; it’s better than being a fool, that’s for sure. I know, I’ve been one…. a fool, that is, and usually, it’s for love…. Nothing new in that, is there? We all become fools for love, at one point in our life, or another. Me, I’ve been there, and done that, a good five times…. Each time, I ended up being the fool, as I always believed what the woman told me, and tried to act accordingly…. Since, it turns out, they were all lying, when they said they were in love with me, it makes me the fool, for continuing to believe, even after a number of times being burned…..

It’s okay, really….. Sometimes it hurts, but I just think about the fact that it wasn’t MY doing, let out a big sigh, and keep on looking for an honest woman, one who won’t lie to me about this very basic subject, i.e., love…. See, I don’t believe that love dies, or changes, or can be lost; not if it is really love. If one can put it aside, or make decisions to hurt the loved one, then it really isn’t love at all, in my book. The person who can hurt someone they love, isn’t really in love, for to me, love means that the happiness of that other person is equally, if not more, important to me, than my own…. This means that I will do anything in my power to keep that person happy, and, sorry, leaving them doesn’t fit that requirement…..

“I never really thought of myself as depressed, so much as I am paralyzed with hope.” Maria Bamford

Ah well, life goes on, and sometimes, one walks their path alone for part of that time. I still keep myself open to relationships, for I believe in the old adage, that one may approach life as a turtle, or as a tiger. A turtle, when confronted with the more dangerous, possibly hurtful moments we all face, will pull in his head and limbs, and hide until the danger is past. He survives, but doesn’t get to see much of the world. A tiger, on the other hand, faces danger without fear, and gets to see all he wishes to see, thought it may bring some pain along with the joy of living… a worthwhile trade, to be sure.

So, I’ll keep on keepin’ on, hoping to find someone who would like to join me in my search for all the good things life can offer, and will want to stay with me for the duration. If I cannot find anyone, well, that’s okay, too, because I’m having a grand time, and have no intention of stopping, for any reason at all….. Hmm…. where am I going with this? Damned if I can remember what I was trying to say with all this…. I mean, other than the basic, “I’d rather be seen as a rascal than a fool.”…. That much is obvious….

In looking back over this pearl, in fact, I find that it has little or no purpose I can see, other than blathering…. I’m sorry, but we just can’t have that…. So, I’ll finish this section with a few explicitly obscure, but cogent, pearls, which should make the point I was trying to get to, and lost track of…. I hope….

“The uttered part of a man’s life, let us always repeat, bears to the unuttered, unconscious part a small unknown proportion. He himself never knows it, much less do others.” — Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) — Sir Walter Scott, London and Westminster Review, 1838

I saw Eternity the other night,
Like a great ring of pure and endless light,
All calm, as it was bright;

And round beneath it,
Time in hours, days, years,
Driv’n by the spheres
Like a vast shadow mov’d; in which the world
And all her train were hurl’d.

— Henry Vaughan — The World

“Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.” — Muad’dib

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” — Albert Camus

Curse on all laws but those which love has made!
Love, free as air at sight of human ties,
Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Eloisa to Abelard, Line 74

Okay, so, well, never mind…. I couldn’t find the right pearls, but, these will do…. Just don’t bother trying to find the underlying rationale…. there isn’t any…. 😆
__________________________________

I was correct in my assumption that it would be difficult to write a new poem every day, at least, for me…. The process of creating a poem isn’t quite that simple for me, and isn’t amenable to persuasion, or confining regulations as to when it should, or will, come out to play…. Mostly, it leaks out in a bloody stream, when it feels ready. I have no clue as to when that might be, and I’m afraid to push hard on it, lest the urge disappear altogether, as it did for many years….

Any who, all that is to explain that today’s poetry section is another half ‘n half…. the Haiku is fresh, written just last night…. the poem is from last October…. As every day this month, this is for the April National Poetry Writing Month Challenge, with the updates to be found here: http://www.napowrimo.net/ (I still don’t know if I’m doing this right, but, oh well….)

> Haiku IV

Time and circumstance;

all of us who are alive,
Penance, Made Simple

a celebration can begin,
willing, to shine from within.

brushing reason aside,
alert to danger, eyes wide.

stand with the just;
living in honor, the only must.

is its own prize and reward.
well worth working toward.

our lessons are never free of cost.
only when alone, are we lost.

__________________________________

I know, I’m supposed to rant here…. but, I don’t have enough angst built up to do so…. Everything has been going pretty well, all things considered, and, physically, I’ve been feeling pretty normal, all in all, so it’s hard to not count my blessings, and start in on something I see as wrong-headed….. This is not to say there aren’t rantable events transpiring out there in the real world, it’s merely my own lack of outrage that keeps me from picking on someone who deserves it….

Still, I have one more section to complete, and hopefully can get it done prior to having to take a break to deal with the house cleaners, who are coming this morning to swab me out…. I finally got tired of my bachelor mess, so I’m paying to have someone do a number on it for me… It’s said that it is a good thing to be clean…. I can’t say myself, having been a guy all my life, but, I’m willing to give it a try…. Any who, since all of that is TMI, or at best, unnecessary info, we’ll get on with the pearl…. c’mon, let’s dive…..

“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.” — Steven Wright

“The best may slip, and the most cautious fall; He’s more than mortal that ne’er err’d at all.” — Pomfret

“Cowardice” and “self-respect” have largely disappeared from public discourse. In their place we are offered “self-esteem” as the bellwether of success and a proxy for dignity. “Self-respect” implies that one recognizes standards, and judges oneself worthy by the degree to which one lives up to them. “Self-esteem” simply means that one feels good about oneself. “Dignity” used to refer to the self-mastery and fortitude with which a person conducted himself in the face of life’s vicissitudes and the boorish behavior of others. Now, judging by campus speech codes, dignity requires that we never encounter a discouraging word and that others be coerced into acting respectfully, evidently on the assumption that we are powerless to prevent our degradation if exposed to the demeaning behavior of others. These are signposts proclaiming the insubstantiality of our character, proclaiming the hollowness of our souls.” — Jeffrey R. Snyder, Fall 1993 _The Public Interest

“What is a number that a man may know it: and what is a man that he may know a number?” — Warren McColloch (20th Century American Neurophysiologist, — Poet, and Prophet)

“Evil habits soil a fine dress more than mud; good manners, by their deeds, easily set off a lowly garb.” — Plautus

“Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.” — Alvy Ray Smith

“Hmmmm… Er… Is it *supposed* to smoke like that?” — Smart Bee

Nope, I don’t think it is….. but, it’s done, which makes it perfectly suited to our purposes…. Besides, I like the point it finally came up with, don’t you?…..
__________________________________

Sometimes, I don’t know how I do it…. but, then, I never know why I do it, so I suppose that’s not out of place….. Maybe it ain’t Ibsen, but, it’s Art…. or, what passes for same around here….. Before I can put my foot any further down my throat, I’ll take my leave now, and go see what the Big Blue Room has to offer me today….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Ned Moore, aka gigoid, is a 70 year-old, (!!!… When did that happen?….), retired dilettante, who would rather read than eat, most days. His first blog, "gigoid’s folly", has been emailed out to folks he knows for about 18 years now. He still considers it his best defense against angst, and the ever-present specter of sheer insanity..... Due to rigorous curmudgeon training requirements, he has discontinued his Facebook presence, but still indulges in the occasional Twitter session... In essence, he's socialized, but, not overly sociable; all labels and stereotypes are forbidden in his presence... and he doesn't care what anyone thinks about that..... In fact, he doesn't want to talk anymore.... If you feel you MUST contact gigoid, his email address is: alphagigoid@gmail.com You can go read now.... Go on, beat it.... gigoid, the dubious

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gigoid

Exploring Consensual Reality

Tag Archives: Ambrose Bierce

Don’t screw it in, we’ll use the hammer….

I’ve never seen a poltergeist retch before…..

Striving for retail dominance in a wholesale world….

Parking parallel is de rigeur on Mondays….

Deluxe accommodations don’t come cheap….

Twice around the neck should do nicely….

That particular radiologist has a toggle switch…..

Such fabulous shoes require spanking….

We won’t be crenelating this year…

Rejected submissions for breakfast?…..

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