Democracy has become a joke in poor taste…..

Posted on August 13, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,

Bah, humbug! None of it makes any sense, and it certainly isn’t designed for comfort; hence, crankiness rules now apply…. No insults are too cheap, no bad names too vile for us to use, with gusto. Today, come what may, a spade will be called a spade, and outright roguery will be called to task. I don’t care a whit who the target is, or how dignified the office they hold, or how sacred they are considered by worshipful millions, if they piss me off, they’re gonna hear about it, in plain talk, without a single moment’s hesitation, and every effort will be expended to fry them unmercifully on the hot seat of my scrutiny, until their skin crackles,they start to resemble a mutilated raisin, and their screams for mercy are ringing in my ears, making beautiful music….

In order to rant effectively, the above attitude is necessary; without it, one cannot achieve the proper state of curmudgeonry, nor can one possibly reach the depth of vindictiveness that is required to poke at public figures and make it worthwhile…. In other words, one must get in direct touch with their sense of outrage, and allow it to direct, if not control, the feelings of anger, frustration, and betrayal that are so common when the BRC carries out some new, or old, method of screwing us, an event that they tend to consider as their privilege, if not their vocation….

Seriously, those who hold office in the USA, whether it is in the executive, judicial, or legislative branch of the government, think that stealing from us, lying to us, and generally bending us over and fucking us in the ass on a regular basis, are their rights as elected officials of this country, and, to be frank, I’m more than just a little tired of it…. They don’t even bother to use any K-Y Jelly, or even Vaseline…

Of course, it would help if we didn’t invite them to do so, every election…. I mean, we keep on voting the assholes into office, so we really don’t have a lot of stable ground to stand on in that respect…. Of course, we also don’t have any way to tell which ones are lying the most, but, hey, that’s on us, not on them…. We KNOW they’re going to lie, so, it becomes OUR problem when we keep letting them do it….

SIGH…. There I go again, ranting before I’ve even had any coffee, to speak of…. I drank enough to swallow my morning meds, but, then, started typing; once begun, it just ran away with me…. I guess I was dreaming about this, or something, so it was right there on the top for me to use this morning when I booted up. I hope it doesn’t mean I’ll be in crank mode all day… I’ve got stuff to do out in the BBR that will require me to speak to other people without chewing on them, which is hard to do, when all I feel like doing is slapping them silly….. I’ll have to be careful not to let it out on anyone who doesn’t deserve it (though, in general, they do….).

BIG, CHEST-HEAVING, PATHETICALLY DRAMATIC SIGH…. 😳 People are so gullible. It’s a big part of our nature, to believe what we hear, if it is presented in a certain way, from someone who, previously, has garnered our trust, generally by prior statements. Unfortunately, we never seem to learn, at least, not well enough to be consistent about it, to verify those original statements before giving the trust, or attempt to ascertain in some other way whether or not the person’s words are worthy of our trust. This goes for elected officials especially, but, as I just demonstrated, it is true for blogs, as well….

Most of the above rant is Pure Grade A 100% BS, government certified, and if anybody knows their shit, it’s the government. Oh, all the stuff about them, and their unfortunate tendency to lie, cheat, and steal, as an avocation, is true as the day is long. But the stuff about waking up cranky, being a curmudgeon, etc., that’s all BS again today…. Please note that I spoke one piece of truth, to wit: I did drink my coffee before actually typing, and therein lies the critical difference, that should have clued you in to my use of untruth as a literary device, to hook you in, and lead you logically into the ranting portion of the piece.

In short, this has been an experiment, in human psychology, and YOU are part of it! Doesn’t that just make you all tingly with excitement and joy?

Oh…. No?

Well, heck, I thought y’all would like something new and different, but, I guess it should be something that actually engages your interest, rather than tricking you into the same sort of manipulative situation that the BRC is wont to do to you (us), such as lying, and tricking you into believing things that aren’t actually real, or as dangerous and frightening as they are made out to be…… I would suppose, had I not gone so far off-script, we might have called what just happened a morality play, but…. I guess this means we should just call it a minor clusterfuck, and get on with the rest of the day….

Shall we Pearl?….

“I couldn’t remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really *do* melt in your hand …” — Peter Oakley
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“Abstain from beans; that is, keep out of public offices, for anciently the choice of the officers of state was made by beans.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of the Training of Children

It always amazes me when I read stuff like this…. Statements like this show me that in the past one thousand, eight hundred, and ninety-three years since Plutarch reportedly died, the human race has made virtually no progress at all in learning how to govern ourselves well. By “well” I mean we have not learned, any better than they did back then, how to govern so that the people are fed, clothed, protected from their less scrupulous peers, made well when sick or injured, and generally operated with the best interests of ALL the people as primary motivation, using all resources equally and fairly, in such a way that the Earth, our only home, is also nurtured and protected, so that we will always have it….

Of course, I have to admit, to be fair, that we had not made any real progress in that when Plutarch lived, either, so, it isn’t as if we had the best examples by which we could practice our lessons to be learned in new ways. But, one would think, after all this time of watching things go wrong, we would have learned at least one or two things we could use to save our asses, now that we’re getting close to losing them…. But, it is obvious, to me, and to many, that we haven’t learned much in all these centuries, because we are still facing the same issues that were plaguing society in the days of Christ, and have continued in all the years thereafter.

I’m ranting again, and I didn’t really want to do that; this is supposed to be an old-school pearl, the first of which is the above quote from Mr. Oakley, which was intended to set the tone…. But, as is common, I couldn’t shut myself up, and had to sing another refrain in my ongoing song of lamentation regarding the state of the BRC, and the world we live in, for now…. Now, however, I’ve caught myself before getting too far into it, and will go search out the proper quotes to bring home the concept that is in my head…. Hopefully, it will be less ponderous, and less pompous, than another rant….. I’m also hoping for it to be a bit more entertaining…. 😉

“Do you think sheep know when you’re pulling the wool over their eyes?” — Smart Bee

“Turning and turning the widening gyre,
the falcon cannot hear the falconer,
things fall apart, the center cannot hold,
mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.

— W.B. Yeats

“The right of the citizens to bear arms is just one more guarantee against arbitrary government, one more safeguard against a tyranny which now appears remote in America, but which historically has proved to be always possible.” — Senator Hubert Humphrey

“Those who fear death most are those who enjoy life least.” — Edward Abbey

“Reason is not measured by size or height, but by principle.” — Epictetus (c. 60 AD) — Discourses, Book i, Chap. xii

“Antiphanes said merrily, that in a certain city the cold was so intense that words were congealed as soon as spoken, but that after some time they thawed and became audible; so that the words spoken in winter were articulated next summer.” — Plutarch (46-120 AD) — Of Man’s Progress in Virtue

“Uh-oh — WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, so it came out a bit obfuscated…. it’s what happens when I give SB its head…. But, it’s still marginally better than a rant, and does get where it needs to go, so, it will do…. Did I mention you should have your seat belts fastened?….
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Yesterday, I spent the day dealing with an age-related physical issue, to wit: agonizing pain, due to a spasming muscle in my neck. The pain, which lasted most of the day, and into the night, was, at times, excruciating, and forced me into bed for most of the day, starting at about 10 AM. It finally eased up, thanks to extreme rest, and extra medication, and is, thus far, not the same issue today…. I hate those days, as they force me to accept the passage of time in terms of what I can no longer do, or count on my body being able to do. But, it does give me a lot of time to spend in my head, a place where I refuse to be uncomfortable, or bored, or anything but happy to spend time, doing what I like doing best, just letting my mind wander through the vast spaces of the Universe as I perceive it….

Hence, Yeats….. with no apologies, and no regrets…..

A Prayer For Old Age

GOD guard me from those thoughts men think
In the mind alone;
He that sings a lasting song
Thinks in a marrow-bone;
From all that makes a wise old man
That can be praised of all;
O what am I that I should not seem
For the song’s sake a fool?
I pray — for word is out
And prayer comes round again —
That I may seem, though I die old,
A foolish, passionate man.

~~ William Butler Yeats ~~

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So, here we are, knee deep in this muddy expanse I like to call my mind’s playground, to wit: consensual reality, and I was thinking to myself, “now what?” Having no good answer, I will once again fall back to my default position, and put together a pearl of the old-school variety, strictly for fun…. What I mean by that is, I intend to have fun putting it together, and I intend it to be fun for y’all to read….

However, we all know about good intentions, and where we can end up by having them, or, more critically, by using them, so, I’ll be careful not to let that get us into trouble…. Not in section three, it’s not allowed that late in this venue…. Bad things can happen to the space-time continuum, so, there are safeguards built in that should keep us relatively safe…. as long as we remember to wear the helmets provided…. Remember, anything that splashes on you should be immediately cleansed away, or…. well, just clean it up quickly, so we never need to see what it does….

“Death never takes the wise man by surprise, he is always ready to go.” — La Fontaine

“Holy Hand Grenades, Batman!” — Robin

“Go on, EMOTE! I was RAISED on thought balloons!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“If it isn’t Scottish…it’s CRRRRRAP!” — Smart MacBee

(Side joke: An American tourist was in a shop in Scotland, with one of those new wallets that uses Velcro to stay closed. When he opened it to pay for his selection, the shopkeeper exclaimed, “Och, now that’s a proper Scottish wallet! It scrreams when you open it!”) (I read that joke in Reader’s Digest, over 25 years ago….)

“No harm can come to a good man in life or death.” — Socrates

“A mind forever voyaging through strange seas of thought, alone.” — William Wordsworth

“I … reject the argument put forth by many fundamentalists that science has nothing to do with religion because God is not among the things making up the universe in which we live. Surely if a necessity for a god-concept in the universe ever turns up, that necessity will become evident to the scientist.” — physicist Ralph Alpher, Theology of the Big Bang, Religious Humanism, Vol. XVII, No. 1 (Winter 1983), pg. 12

You may have noted that there is no point to this pearl; it’s all about fun, for me, anyway….. and, I’m not done having fun yet, so here, to follow up this wonderful seven-star pearl, is another, a five-star pearl gathered using the same operational motivation…. i.e., none to speak of….

“What’s another word for Thesaurus?” — Steven Wright

“Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.” — Benjamin Franklin

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.” — Nietzsche, Friedrich Wilhelm (1844-1900)
(I use this one a lot…. It’s a big part of what I consider my basic attitude toward life at large….)

“We can do noble acts without ruling earth and sea.” — Aristotle

“If called by a panther…don’t anther.” — Ogden Nash (1902-1971), “Parents Keep Out!”

I rest my case…. and a good thing, too! This may be a new record, for the number of pearls, in the most pearls, in any one Pearl, ever…. If you followed that, you’ve been reading this blog for a long time, and good for you…. For the rest of y’all, just note, please, I’ve once again completely lost my mind prior to the end of this missive….
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Well, that was fun! For me, anyway…. Let’s take a peek at what others will see…. Wow! Now, THAT is an epic Pearl, and just chock full of virtual wisdom and humor, or an irrational facsimile thereof….. I can feel myself getting more and more out of control in my head; if I don’t stop typing soon, two things will happen….

First, my back will turn into a mass of muscles in spasm, intent on achieving the same relative hardness as a two-by-four piece of ironwood, and I’ll turn into a whiny, pathetic mess; and, second, I will probably end up saying, or writing something that will get me arrested, or, flamed in vile, misspelled language by some fundie, or other silly shit-for-brains, instead of hearing applause, or intelligently critical, but polite, comments from my esteemed Gentle Readers…. and I’m blathering now, so I’ll stop….

It will do, and it’s certainly enough for one day…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…. Blessed Be…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Put the cheeseburger down, sir, and step back from the condiments….

Posted on August 7, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,

Traffic has been light this morning, and what is there is moving along well, so I guess it’s okay to get started…. Not that traffic has anything to do with this, but, it works on the radio, so I thought I’d give it a try…. By this time in the process, it really doesn’t matter what I do, it’s all going to be wrong, or misguided somehow, and whatever I produce will crash and burn within moments. The investigators are never able to tell afterward exactly why it crashes (the burning part is obvious…. leaking fuel, oxygen, heat, all present…. only the ‘why’ is mysterious…), but, it does. I really don’t expect them to know how to determine sabotage by icons of nature like Murphy, as he is well able to make such things appear to be due to natural causes…..

You know what I mean by that, right? Natural causes? Same thing the beloved ruling class means when they say some political prisoner died in custody, of “natural causes”, to wit: they killed them…. Oh, they might call it “pilot error” but it was “termination with prejudice”, you can bet on it….. Sorry, but anybody who, during an election campaign, says they’ll stop what is being done to people at Guantanamo, and at other facilities, in other countries, where it doesn’t break our laws so blatantly, and then totally ignores the whole issue, isn’t what I would call trustworthy, and can’t be counted on to tell the truth about anything.

SIGH…. there I go, ranting again in the intro…. It just seems to keep popping out, with little provocation. I mean, how much provocation can I claim at 5:55 in the morning, unless, for some unknown, and unwelcome, reason, I’ve been dreaming about this stuff, which I don’t think I’ve been doing…. not so’s I remember, anyway. It doesn’t matter, really, though, because I’d planned to rant today, so this can be considered a warm-up, or stretching exercises…. As long as you don’t consider it terrible, and go away, I’ll be happy….. It gets so lonely around here in the mornings, and the neighbors don’t appreciate me breaking out my guitar at this hour, so, I’m stuck with this computer, and my imaginary audience, for company…. Sad image, isn’t it?….

Don’t be sad, though, because I like it like this…. Now that much of the stress is gone from my life, of waiting for the bureaucrats to act, for my retirement to kick in, for poverty to end (at least for me…), I am able to enjoy my retirement time, getting a big kick out of watching the world run around like crazy, acting out the panoply of human stories and games, and knowing that nobody has any say about what I do, or when I do it, other than me, myself, and I…. and, of course, Patricia, to whom I’ve lost my heart…. She’s allowed to take up my time with her business on an “ad lib” basis…. but, I can’t consider that an onerous chore, or any kind of bother…. rather the opposite, truth be known….

Okay, well, I’ve blathered and meandered, and wound my way through another four paragraphs that don’t say much of anything, other than some pointless attempts at humor…. I should probably take my own advice, and not try to do that so early, especially before the coffee has kicked in fully….. but, SOMEBODY has to do it, and I’ve never been one to shirk my duty, once I know what it is….

The upshot of all this is, I’ve met the legal requirements for this blog’s opening remarks, so, I’m going to take that assessment and run with it…. If nothing else, it will prevent the formation of bruising around the eyes, where it feels as if I’ve been punching myself since I got up, twenty minutes ago…. Hmm, maybe I wasn’t done sleeping…. Ya think?…. Oh, well….

Shall we Pearl?…..
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As noted above, I tend to rant at the slightest provocation, and, though that tendency isn’t one I particularly wish to curtail completely, it is one that contributes to at least one of the problematic characteristics of blogging, a long winded way to say it makes these posts too long sometimes…. Then, I feel guilty, for taking up so much of people’s time, and ending up preaching to the choir, anyway…. This is why I’ve been resorting so often to old-school pearls to get my points across, or at least, out there for perusal and cognitive processing… Again, in short, it’s easier, on you, and, to some extent, on me….

Yesterday, I read an article in the news (you can read it here: http://blog.sfgate.com/nov05election/2013/08/06/planet-continues-to-warm-to-new-normal/ ) about climate change. The article discussed the yearly report, from the world’s scientific community, on the extent of the changes in the Earth’s average temperature, the changes in the polar ice, and the rising of the world’s oceans, as the increasing temperature melts those polar ice packs, little by little… The report itself makes no attempt to ascertain, or explain, the causes of the warming; it only reports the factual numbers of how much is changing each year…. It does note, however, that the levels of carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide in the atmosphere on their scale of measurement haven’t been seen on our planet for approximately 800,000 (!) years….

A little learning is a dangerous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Criticism, Part ii, Line 15

I haven’t seen the reaction yet from the fringes of the far right of the political scene, but I expect them to be out any time, once again parading the extent of their ignorance, shouting their outrage at the numbers, claiming that the scientists are “fudging” them, or claiming that we humans don’t understand what the numbers mean, because we don’t have infinite knowledge, like they do…. because “they” believe in God, which gives them the right to challenge the scientist’s figures…. If asked to do so, I could probably write one of their articles; it doesn’t seem hard, as one needn’t bother with presenting any facts, or evidence to support one’s theories…. I would, of course, feel very silly, but, I could do it….

Don’t worry, I won’t; plenty of others will do so, with much more sincerity, if less factual, than I…. It does piss me off, though, to have to watch these idiots go through their contortions, trying to refute the obvious danger that the changes reported by the scientists pose for us as a species, along with all the other species with whom we share the air we breathe… It pisses me of a lot, because they make it harder to get anything done about it, and muddy up the waters made clear by the report, never realizing that by insisting on the truth of their delusions, they are signing their own death warrant….

Rather than bore you with another rant (which, it seems from looking at this small intro, I seem to have already done….) I’ll turn to my old-school format, and bring the point home with a group of pearls…. once again highlighting the advantage to pearls of virtual wisdom, requiring much less effort to acquire than the mundane, standard types of wisdom, which ask us to display intelligence, patience, and perseverance in order to feel the boon of its presence…. Easy money, as they say downtown….

“The radical novelty in modern science lies precisely in the rejection of the belief, which is at the heart of all popular religion, that the forces which move the stars and atoms are contingent upon the preferences of the human heart.” — Walter Lippmann

“These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives; for all the scents of green things growing, each breath is but an exhalation of the grave. Bodies jerk like puppet corpses, and hell walks laughing” — Smart Bee

“Belief is the death of intelligence.” — Robert Anton Wilson

“Reality is when it happens to you.” — Smart Bee

“Are people more important than the grizzly bear? Only from the point of view of some people.” — Edward Abbey

`Just the place for a Snark!’ the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.

‘Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.’

— Lewis Carroll, the Snark and the Boojum

“Ignorance is not bliss — it’s oblivion.” — Phillip Wylie
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À Bas Ben AdhemMy fellow man I do not care for.
I often ask me, What’s he there for?
The only answer I can find
Is, Reproduction of his kind.
If I’m supposed to swallow that,
Winnetka is my habitat.
Isn’t it time to carve Hic Jacet
Above that Reproduction racket?

To make the matter more succint:
Suppose my fellow man extinct.
Why, who would not approve the plan
Save possibly my fellow man?
Yet with a politician’s voice
He names himself as Nature’s choice.

The finest of the human race
Are bad in figure, worse in face.
Yet just because they have two legs
And come from storks instead of eggs
They count the spacious firmament
As something to be charged and sent.

Though man created cross-town traffic,
The Daily Mirror, News and Graphic,
The pastoral fight and fighting pastor,
And Queen Marie and Lady Astor,
He hails himself with drum and fife
And bullies lower forms of life.

Not that I think much depends
On how we treat our feathered friends,
Or hold the wrinkled elephant
A nobler creature than my aunt.
It’s simply that I’m sure I can
Get on without my fellow man.

~~ Ogden Nash ~~

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“A people who expect to be ignorant and free expect what never will, and never can, be.” — Thomas Jefferson

I almost used this as a closing remark to the rant/pearl in section one; it’s almost the right sentiment, but, didn’t quite hit the exact mark, so I’m using it here, as the opening remark for another old-school entry. Yes, it’s being a little bit lazy, but, I will reference my point above re: retirement, and the perks thereof, to wit: I don’t care if it’s lazy, it’s what I want to do, and you can’t stop me, at least, not without the risk of injury, to one or both of us…. Since neither of us is willing to see what happens in that case, let’s get on with this…. The primary search parameter for this pearl is “Risk analysis of using ignorance as a survival tool in modern society.” Or, something like that….

“Thank you, Señor MacGyver.” “Don’t thank me, thank the gravitational pull of Earth’s moon.” — from The Simpsons

“Does history record any case where the majority was right?” — Robert Heinlein, Notebooks of Lazarus Long

“A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.” — Murphy’s Military Laws, #12

“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.” — George Bernard Shaw

“Far more crucial than what we know or do not know is what we do not want to know.” — Eric Hoffer

Hmm…. how did that get there? Or, more accurately, how did we get here? This comes close to what I was looking for, but, something isn’t quite right…. we’ll go on, find two more that will shore up the weak side, and bring home the point we’re trying to make….

“I used to get high on life but lately I’ve built up a resistance. — Steven Wright”

“From stupidity there is always something to be learned, but it’s always the same thing: don’t be stupid.” — Robert M. Adams

There… that should do it…. sometimes the thread that ties it all together is thin, and hard to see, but, it generally works out okay…. in the case of this pearl, the wisdom is inherently obvious, unless one regularly fails in the task implied in the final entry…. 😆
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Well, that was fun! I don’t know how it will look to others, but, it matters little now, because the road became the journey, and I feel centered…. Hmm… Murphy must be lurking about…. I’d best go proof while I can….. I was right, (write?…), Murphy was hanging about…. That took what seemed like forever to get all the spots I got lazy with my typing… comes from it coming out so fast and smooth, I guess, I had to sit for too long to keep up… Okay, no whining, I’m done now anyway…. and, I’m outta here…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.gigoid

Gazing into the abysmal mirror of introspection….

Posted on August 3, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,

Well, there’s a switch…. Murphy decided to surprise me today by leaving me alone. As a result, I slept, like the proverbial rock, until after 0700 AM, for perhaps the first time in a decade, if we don’t count those mornings when I did so, but only because I didn’t go to sleep until 3 or 4 AM. I don’t think I’ve slept that much since before my kids were born, 33+ years ago…..

What a treat! Of course, my body feels strange, but, that is just the unusual, and uncommon, feeling of having more than enough energy, for a change. It’s been so long, I wasn’t sure what it was…. thought it was an illusion, at first. It’s actually a good feeling, one I recall having quite often in the distant past, before PTSD and adulthood took away that boon….

Oddly enough, I find that having energy doesn’t necessarily translate into having intelligent thoughts, or brilliant ideas for something to write about, or instantly knowing what phrase will work…. I’m just as fuzzy as if I’d gotten up earlier…. Ah well, I AM a Bozo, so what can I say? And, just because Murphy got me once, by reversing the order of things on me, doesn’t mean he isn’t still out there, waiting to get me again…. the asshole.

Not having any ideas to write about has never stopped me before, and it won’t today, either….. Yesterday, I used the excuse of business out in the BBR to shorten this intro section…. That part worked okay, but, I’m never at my happiest when I have to resort to the archives….. I hate repeating myself, big time. But, then, much of what I end up ranting about is a repeat of one kind or another, so I suppose that’s just a personal quirk that I shouldn’t let affect things as I do. Oops…. there’s that word again….

“Shouldn’t”….. I don’t know about y’all, but a long time ago, I learned a lesson about the word “should”….. It is a truism, and when one thinks it over, it is easy to see that it is a truism right down to the bone, and not really arguable at all; no argument to the contrary of what I am about to relate is valid, because they all veer away from reality and truth….

Simply put, the lesson/truism says, this: whenever you use the word “should” in a sentence, you are relating information that someone else told you. It isn’t something you told yourself, or figured out on your own…. we only do “should” when we learn it from another, and use it as a “guilty” motivation to act a certain way….

In this case, it happens to be something that I DID tell myself, (as seen in the above sentence….)…. but, the need to not let personal quirks affect things is NOT mine…. THAT idea came from someone else, and really isn’t true, when you look at it…. Personal quirks don’t necessarily mean bad writing, but, we’re all taught to not let stuff like that happen, by the myrmidons of society who teach their unwanted and unwieldy code of (im)morality to everyone else with platitudes and lies hidden as metaphors. No matter what it is, if the word “should” shows up, you can bet some busybody told you whatever it was you used it in relation to, and told it to you long ago, before you knew better than to listen to old fools….

Well, between my back pain (moderate), my bemusement at sleeping so long, and my tendency to ramble, I’ve managed to put together quite a hefty opening section…. a little ranting, a bit of advice, some societal wisdom, and an indictment of the iconic asshole who bothers us all…. not bad for a Saturday morning, I’d say… and, if you will note, I just did say…. Which, all things considered, is probably enough, if not too much, so…..

Shall we Pearl?….
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It being Saturday, well, it really don’t mean shit, but, we’ll pretend it does…. So, I’ll tell you that this pearl will be old-school, and since school is closed on Saturday, we’re up the creek without paddles or gum. Nonetheless, I think Smart Bee can do this, so, we’ll give it a shot, and hope for, if not the best, something fairly easy on the eye and mind….

“You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.” — Irish Proverb

“To get anywhere, or even to live a long time, a man has to guess, and guess right, over and over again, without enough data for a logical answer.” — Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

“Nobody can live in society without conventions. The reason why sensible people are as conventional as they can bear to be is that conventionality saves so much time and thought and trouble and social friction of one sort or another that it leaves them much more leisure time for freedom than unconventionality does.” — George Bernard Shaw

“The unnatural, that too is natural.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

“To reach perfection, one must understand the converse is also true; to be fully perfect, one must also be perfectly imperfect.” — gigoid

“Truth is just truth…you can’t have opinions about truth.” — P. Shickele

“I’m having an emotional outburst!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
_____________________________

“Ask a toad what is beauty?…a female with two great round eyes coming out of her little head, a large flat mouth, a yellow belly and a brown back.” — Voltaire (1694-1778)

(No, I can’t explain why this seems appropriate here and now….. but, it does, and it is, so…. don’t fret about it, stranger stuff has happened around here, so, just feel lucky for the time being, and we’ll move on…..)

Everybody Tells Me Everything

I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

~~ Ogden Nash ~~

Aha…. now I understand the presence, and relevance, of the Voltaire quote…..
_____________________________

The following pearl, of the old-school variety, was originally intended as the beginning of a rant; the first quote, from Jack Kennedy, was so startlingly real, not to mention incredibly arrogant, it stimulated the outrage I need for such treatises….. but, my thoughts on the subject were a bit jumbled at first, then, I saw the next quote, and I realized it would be better to go old-school, as the vitriol and vituperation I would have engendered while writing about such chicanery might have gotten on my clothes, and that stuff NEVER comes out… Any who, here is a group of pearls, all intended, please note, as ironic, or to act as an indictment of those who are mentioned in conjunction with them….

“Private enterprise … makes OK private action which would be considered dishonest in public action.” — John Fitzgerald Kennedy (1917-1963)
(This one just enrages me…. It goes to show, though, just how little politicians care about the common man, and how easily they can rationalize and justify their own actions, or those of their cronies, and how easily morality and ethics are tossed out the door in the name of profit and power….)

“If the liberties of the American people are ever destroyed, they will fall by the hands of the Clergy.” — General Marquis de Lafayette, 1789
(Gee, who’d’ve guessed?…. Ah, let’s see…. Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, Madison….. oh, okay….)

“Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation.” — Johnny Hart
(Tongue firmly in cheek….)

“I am not a part of the problem. I am a Republican.” — Dan Quayle
(Blatant ignorance…. not to mention wrong! )

“This just in from a Nicholas Notifier up north. Everyone’s favorite farmer and political commentator off the interstate near Chehalis has just come up with the prize line of his career. “Limit congressmen to two terms. One in office. One in jail.” — Jonathan Nicholas’ column in The Oregonian, Friday, March 29, 1991

“Any excuse will serve a tyrant.” — Aesop (620-560 B.C.)

“A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey. “It is out on loan,” the teacher replied. At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside the stable. “But I can hear it bray, over there.” “Whom do you believe,” asked Nasrudin, “me or a donkey?” — Smart Bee

Well, there you have it, a perfectly imperfect old-school pearl of virtual wisdom, chock full of sardonic humor and dry wetness, among other oxymoronic impedimenta…. I like it, and so does Mikey….
_____________________________

I like even better that, not only did I get lots of sleep, this Pearl flowed out smoothly enough to get finished in excellent time. Now, if it doesn’t take too much fixing…..

Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Precious memories of bizarre telegrams….

Posted on July 27, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,

I’m a little confused, and though that isn’t anything new and different, it is unusual in the sense that I don’t often get this way without good reason. The reason today has to do with how yesterday’s Pearl came out, and how it was apparently received by readers….. As I’ve stated, the number of Likes I receive isn’t important to me, as long as I know I’ve written a good Pearl, because this is therapy for me, not connected to how well it goes over, just how well I feel about the content, and how getting it out of my head has helped…. No, I just don’t get the patterns that statistics show about site usage, and what those show about the number of visitors and readers….

The two short little blurb blogs I wrote day before yesterday, and the day before that, which were just short pieces explaining that I wouldn’t be writing those days, both got way more readers, and Likes, than yesterday’s massive effort, wherein I wrote over 3000 words, all tearing my heart out, to rant against some of my favorite targets, and produce a new, fresh poem, one I thought was quite good….It is possibly the best Pearl I’ve written in over a year, yet, only four readers stopped by to peruse it in the first 24 hours it was up, at least, according to the Likes…. Not that I blame Murphy, or anything like that…. of course not….

SIGH…. Oh well, I guess I’ll never understand how it works, and I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, that’s for sure…. Three of the four who stopped in, Willow, Ashi Akira, and Lou, are perhaps the most regular of my readers, as well as three of my favorite blogs to read, and it’s always nice to see them, so I do appreciate that…

Today’s effort is liable to be of lesser degree, at least of quantity; keeping high quality will remain as a priority. Of course, that doesn’t factor in the Murphological aspects of the morning, which have yet to be revealed to me; I’m sure he has something planned to screw with me, but, so far, he’s holding back on it, letting the anticipation build, and trying to get me to let down my guard…. Little does he know that my guard, in respect to his assholishness, is never let down, as I’ve had too many examples of what happens when I let it get sloppy….. Of course, he wins anyway, but, I’m always ready for it….

Hmm…. Spell Checker doesn’t seem to like the words I’m making up today, but, that’s okay, I don’t much like it, either…. It’s often wrong, and has no sense of humor at all…. Besides, I like the words I made up, so, it will just have to deal with it…. I don’t give a shit about what Murphy himself thinks about them; his actions toward me, and everyone else, over the years has earned him NONE of my respect, and he’ll just have to learn to live without it, for he’ll never have it….. Any more than a God would have it, as long as they claim to be responsible for the mess they’ve created and left us sitting in here….. Sorry, didn’t mean to slip up in the intro….. I’ll save the ranting for later, if needed…..

I’ve once again managed to blather my way through five or six paragraphs of sheer twaddle; if I didn’t know better, I’d think this was getting easier…. But, that is an illusion, I know, one that is designed to lure me in and lull me into a false sense of security, before once again dumping me into a situation with no clear resolution to be seen…. You see, I do know Murphy!…. He’s out there, just waiting for me to relax, then, POW!…. Right upside the head…. We’ll go on now, but, keep your eyes and ears open, ffolkes, it could get ugly today….

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

I ranted so long yesterday, there isn’t much left in there today that is worth bringing out for discussion…. Besides, I did manage to say most of what I had to say, so repeating it today would be silly, not to mention boring…. So, we’ll go old-school, and let Smart Bee pick out some fine little gems for our consideration, and see what they have to tell us today…..

“After the lawyers are all dead, kill the Politicians!” — Smart Bee

This is perhaps the best summation possible of what I ranted yesterday in this section; short, sweet, and to the point. It does overlook, however, a simple point, and that is, if you kill all the lawyers, you will already have eliminated the politicians, as practically all of them are lawyers, anyway…. Shoot all the lawyers, and there won’t be many politicians left to target…. Sorry, couldn’t resist, after yesterday’s rant…. Okay, now we’ll let SB pick ’em, and see what’s what….

“The field cannot well be seen from within the field” — Emerson

“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.” — H.L. Mencken

“A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.” — John Ciardi

“The rancher strings barbed wire across the range, drills wells and bulldozes stock ponds everywhere, drives off the elk and antelope and bighorn sheep, poisons coyotes and prairie dogs, shoots eagle and bear and cougar on sight, supplants the native bluestem and grama grass with tumbleweed, cow shit, cheat grass, snakeweed, anthills, poverty weed, mud and dust and flies–and then leans back and smiles broadly at the Tee Vee cameras and tells us how much he loves the West.” — Edward Abbey

“Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafarer on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you reach your destiny.” — Carl Schurz

“If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.” — Chuang Tzu

At this point, it would be well for me to stop and point out the danger of going forward from here…. I see that SB has allowed Murphy to lay a trap for us, but, thanks to being alerted, as noted in the intro, y’all were saved from having the rest of your day ruined by an intellectual meltdown…. If we took the next step indicated by the above group of pearls, our brains would seize up, just like an old motor with no oil, and we’d be stuck in that limbo until found by neighbors and rescued, or buried and waked… So, I will apply the correct antidote here, by giving you, NOT the quote that SB, and hence, Murphy, had picked out for you, but, instead, one that my own sense of whimsy provided, instinctively…. Whew! My insurance agent would have been really pissed!….

“We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home. 45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!” — Zippy the Pinhead

There!… Saved by the Zip-man, again!…..
_____________________________

My body is feeling its age today…. As I noted yesterday at one point (in my head), if I were a NASCAR aficionado, I could say that “my trans axle is gettin’ a little gritty”, and everyone would know what I meant…. But, since I have no idea what that actually means, I’ll just say that my back and hips, where they join together, is experiencing some age-related stiffness today, and leave it at that…. Now, however, since I’ve again shared more than anyone could conceivably wish to know, I don’t have to explain why this poem is here today, or why it is one of my favorites….

The Little Boy And The Old Man

Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man, “I do that too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
“But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
“I know what you mean,” said the little old man.

~~ Shel Silverstein ~~

_____________________________

There I was, muddling along, minding my own, trying to think of a rantable subject, when a random thought intruded into my consciousness…. Since it was in some foreign language I didn’t recognize, and thus do not speak, it was only mildly upsetting; if I knew what it said, it might have frightened me….. However, since I was in the vicinity, I went ahead and allowed myself to go a bit mad, and used that state of mind to go a’hunting for pearls…. Here is what I found, while the rest of my mind, apparently, was avoiding ranting….

“Philosophy, means, first, doubt; and afterwards the consciousness of what knowledge means, the consciousness of uncertainty and of ignorance, the consciousness of limit, shade, degree, possibility. The ordinary man doubts nothing and suspects nothing.” — Henri Frederick Amiel

How lov’d, how honour’d once avails thee not,
To whom related, or by whom begot;
A heap of dust alone remains of thee:
‘T is all thou art, and all the proud shall be!

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — To the Memory of an Unfortunate Lady, Line 71

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” — Smart Bee

“Every time history repeats itself the prices go up.” — Peter’s Observation on History

“It [the Bible] is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies.” — Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) (1835-1910) — Letters from the Earth (1905-1909)

“Wherever your journey takes you, there are new gods waiting there, with divine patience – and laughter.” — Smart Bee

Okay, so whimsy can only take me so far…. I couldn’t decide which of these two gems should grace the final position for today’s final pearl, so, I’m putting both of them up, and you can use the one you like…. I did… or will, depending on your point of view….

The camel has a single hump;
The dromedary two;
Or else the other way around.
I’m never sure. Are you?

— Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

“It takes a smart man to know when he’s stupid.” — Barney Rubble, “The Flintstones”
_____________________________

“The art of being a good guest is knowing when to leave.” — Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

I would suppose that someone of Prince Philip’s cache would know about good manners, having had them bred into him for several thousand generations…. along with tendencies toward being bloodthirsty, mercurial, prone to treachery, and a dozen other nasty characteristics that are common in the English aristocracy…. You could never say that the English kings were impolite when committing their chicanery; they lopped off heads with great charm and politeness, and never a harsh word…. Any who, I find the Prince’s statement a good one for ending today’s mess, such as it is…. You may have noted my reluctance to rant, after yesterday’s massive outburst… I’m afraid of what I might find in there… Let’s see how today’s journey went….

Okay, well, I like it, but, then, you know me…. always ready to give myself a break. If I don’t, who will?…. At any rate, it’s done for the day, and I can go on to finding new and better ways to laze about without purpose…. Or, I can get the laundry done…. Any bets on which one happens?…. I thought not….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

“Mea culpa” he said, in a dismal voice, “Mea culpa maxima….”

Posted on July 15, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,

I’d like to begin this morning with an apology, of sorts. In the last few weeks, even before going to Alaska, my time spent reading the blogs I like to read and follow has been severely limited, a fact that has probably been quite obvious by the lack of comments made. Usually, when I can spend the time to read, I will also comment, since, as is patently obvious from reading this blog, I can seldom shut myself up….. Of late, though, I’ve been having a hard time sitting at the computer for long periods, due to my back pain, with its new companion, hip ache, and have ended up sacrificing my time spent reading as a result…..

This doesn’t mean I don’t read, as I am as addicted to reading as I am to breathing; it just means I’m not doing it at the computer as much. As a result, the number of ffolkes who stop by to read this blog has also fallen off a bit, though the number of followers seems to keep growing. As it has been since beginning to write here on WordPress, a good percentage of readers come to read according to how much one time one spends on other blogs, making their presence known by either “Likes” or comments…. If they don’t see you at their blog, they don’t stop by yours, and it is perfectly understandable, given the platform we all use…. Time is, after all, our only resource….

There are about 12 to 24 people, apparently, who come by here practically every day to check out what I’ve done, and to them, I offer my heartfelt gratitude, for always letting me know they appreciate what I’m writing. Not all stop by every day, but the same icons keep appearing below the blogs, so I know who has been by, and who liked what was done…. Beyond the obvious stats available in those indicators, I have no idea how many are coming, nor does it affect what I write, or how often I write…. That is still all about keeping sane, as always….. I just like to know, for my own curiosity….. Not knowing is frustrating, and is the only reason I care, as it creates stress for as long as I fret about it….

Fretting is something I didn’t do much of for most of my life, and still don’t much care for, but, since the advent of my PTSD about 30 years ago, I tend to worry more, until I can get hold of myself and dump such nonsense into the trash bin, where it belongs…. More folks have died of worry than ever bled to death, so I try to avoid it whenever possible…. but, there are times when my anxiety gets the better of me, and I fret, until I either resolve the worry, or remember to keep perspective, whichever comes first. And yes, I’m easily amused by reality….. easily distracted, too…. Where was I?…..

Any who, I wanted to apologize to all those bloggers, and, yes, friends, who keep dropping by, without any reciprocation by me…. Y’all are the rainbows in my daily existence…. (see below’s poem…) Have faith, my friends, I will be by to check out what you’ve been up to, it may just take a while. My back pain has been somewhat ubiquitous of late, and has caused me to wage a constant war with gravity, just to get done what is necessary to live; unfortunately, that doesn’t include reading at the computer for long. I’m hoping that it will calm down a bit before the end of next month, when I will be moving to a new place, getting Patty and I out of this erstwhile Peyton Place….

For now, I see I’ve blathered sufficiently for one morning, and should get on with the rest of the day’s effort, so…. Shall we Pearl?

Triumphal arch, that fill’st the sky
When storms prepare to part,
I ask not proud Philosophy
To teach me what thou art.

— Thomas Campbell (1777-1844) — To the Rainbow
_____________________________

Smart Bee seems to have its own idea of what to include in this section today; the following five quotes pulled themselves out and made themselves obvious in a short span of about three minutes….. Who am I to argue with such confidence? I believe it is a short observation of the perils and joys of parenting, with some pithy comments about how much FUN it can be….. And, yes, that was supposed to be ironic…. or, at least, sardonic…. Don’t worry, though, no matter how critical or sarcastic discussion of it may be, parenting remains our most challenging, and most rewarding, human pastime…. provided, of course, one lives through it….. Enjoy!…..

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” — Mark Twain

“‘Tis better to be alone than in the company of fools.” — Bobby Matherne, American Philosopher (1940-)

To be clear… this is not about the company of children, but a general lesson I tried to pass on to my son, as it came from my father to me….

“There are more horses’ asses in this world than there are horses.” — Grandma Soderquist’s conclusion

Another lesson I received, and hopefully, passed on….

“Children aren’t happy without something to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.” — Ogden Nash

“Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.” — Oscar Wilde

Remember, Oscar was a cynic of the first degree, and didn’t, as far as I know, have children of his own, so his comments need to be filtered through that data…. Perfectly truthful, though, as he seems not to have realized how difficult is the task of raising a genius, with an uncompromisingly honest, if injured, personality such as his own, a task uncomfortably endured by his own parents….

“I hope I never get so old I get religious.” — Ingmar Bergman

Oops! How did that slip in there? Sorry, ffolkes, Smart Bee thought it would play me for a fool, and slip in its own advice…. which, in this case, is just fine… It doesn’t make any sense, but it is still good parenting advice, so it can stay…. Now, for one last zinger….

“No matter what, they’ll always be your babies.” — Mom’s Hint #065

Okay, so it isn’t a zinger…. it IS, however, the whole point, though, isn’t it?……
_____________________________

My own poetic output is still blocked up, but I always know where to find something worth including…. funny how it is almost always from another century…..

A Bard’s Epitaph

Is there a whim-inspired fool,
Owre fast for thought, owre hot for rule,
Owre blate to seek, owre proud to snool,
Let him draw near;
And owre this grassy heap sing dool,
And drap a tear.

Is there a bard of rustic song,
Who, noteless, steals the crowds among,
That weekly this area throng,
O, pass not by!
But, with a frater-feeling strong,
Here, heave a sigh.

Is there a man, whose judgment clear
Can others teach the course to steer,
Yet runs, himself, life’s mad career,
Wild as the wave,
Here pause-and, thro’ the starting tear,
Survey this grave.

The poor inhabitant below
Was quick to learn the wise to know,
And keenly felt the friendly glow,
And softer flame;
But thoughtless follies laid him low,
And stain’d his name!

Reader, attend! whether thy soul
Soars fancy’s flights beyond the pole,
Or darkling grubs this earthly hole,
In low pursuit:
Know, prudent, cautious, self-control
Is wisdom’s root.

~~ Robert Burns ~~

_____________________________

“No matter how cynical you get, it’s impossible to keep up.” — Lily Tomlin

Yesterday, I began the day with a rant of considerable length, and threatened to expound further in future blogs. It would be, and will be, relatively easy to come up with one, given the state of the news I’ve seen since returning to reality from the cruise ship. The Zimmerman trial is over, and justice was NOT served; Texas, along with more than 10 other states, is attempting to pass legislation that will put the cause of women’s rights back fifty years, with the apparent blessing of the Supreme Court. Drones are still being employed to spy on American citizens in their own homes, and the NSA and FBI are diligently monitoring the communications devices of Americans along with those of the rest of the world, gathering data about each and every one of us, all without our knowledge, and, hopefully, without our approval…..

These four issues are only a small part of what is going on in the world today, as the forces of the corporate masters continue to befuddle and confuse the public, spewing their lies and misinformation all over the TV, radio, and internet, using the very technology that can free our minds to control them. The internet, used correctly, can be a liberating influence on the human mind, but, only if its use is unrestricted by all, not just by those in authority. When we allow the government to stick its fingers into the media pie, whether print or digital, we give up our only hope of keeping track of what our ostensible leaders are up to, and may as well just hand over the keys to our entire lives to them…..

“The capitalist can only make a whole people go to war — want war, clamor for war as, again and again, we have seen whole peoples doing — by capturing the popular will. The only prophylactic against that situation is to make the public aware of the way in which it is being misled.” — Sir Norman Angell (1872-1967)

Obviously, this principle is not new…. yet, when the government’s malfeasance is confirmed by evidence for people can see, they act surprised, and can’t believe their own leaders would do that to them! Even the media we have, who ignore so much of what transpires, can’t help but give clues in the news each day; they do, however, try to downplay any suggestions of wrongdoing by those who are in power; it doesn’t do to annoy the entity that feeds you, and the media is fully aware of their own complicity. They just don’t care, any more than the sociopaths who are in the government….

You may have detected a certain degree of bitterness in my writing today; good catch. I’m right pissed is what I am. I’m getting tired of how those in positions of authority seem to no longer even care if they are caught lying, or cheating; they just blithely go on doing what they’re going to do, offering up some weak justification that doesn’t make any sense, knowing the public cannot DO anything about it. Once in office, there is very little recourse for us voters; we just have to live with whatever we’ve voted in…. Sadly, that is becoming more and more obviously intended to our detriment, not our benefit, but, hey! We voted, didn’t we? You betcha….

Not like our votes meant anything, when both sides of the political scene are corrupt, and intent on carrying out their own agendas, which have nothing to do with benefiting the public. No, as my lady said yesterday, our votes don’t really mean anything, and won’t, until we make at least a start at reforming our corrupt government…. beginning with the elimination of the electoral college, a device most useful for hiding the true purposes of the powered elite. Intended as a protection for the landed owners who framed the constitution, it guarantees that only those with sufficient financial resources can ever truly control the outcome of elections, making the popular vote a mere sop to the collective conscience of the public, as it has no real final effect on who gets into office…..

Bah, humbug! That’s enough for one day…. None of what I’m saying is particularly hard to figure out, or to see, if one is a careful observer of society. But, none of it will convince most folks that they are trapped in an untenable position, unless they are willing to admit their own complicity in creating the issues. We all are a part of the problem, and it will take a great number of ffolkes a lot of effort to get us out of it, if we possibly can. Sadly, I don’t see a lot of hope for mankind as a whole. Our species is killing itself, by fouling our own nest, making it, at the least, more difficult to live in, and, ultimately, making it impossible to survive…. The evidence is clear, for those with eyes to see….

“Real eyes realize real lies.” — Anonymous: seen on a wall in a combat zone somewhere in the middle east…..
_____________________________

“I love KATRINKA because she drives a PONTIAC.
We’re going away now.
I fed the cat.
Zippy”

— Zippy the Pinhead

I’m rushing a bit to get done with this, as I’ve got a dental appointment later, and need time to fret about that…. Not really, but, I do have other stuff to do first, so let’s see how this went today….. Be right back…. Well, I’m pleasantly surprised…. it’s better than I’d hoped…. I hope y’all agree, and, if not, well, feel free to tell me why not…. remembering, of course, as would all MY readers, to refrain from vituperation or loss of emotional control… I hates drama…. 😆 Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Left to our own devices, we drift…..

Posted on July 13, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,

Sleep, it has been said, is a weapon, a metaphorical adage in which I firmly believe, though one is not always certain against whom the weapon is to be employed. Since returning from the trip, I’ve slept really well, compared to the time before I left, and it is indeed a blessing, though not without its own conundrums to be addressed….. Such as, it is now already almost 0715 in the morning, and I’m just now getting these first words on screen. This is, I’m sure, the latest I’ve gotten started in a couple of years, if not ever, and I’m unsure how to deal with it. I’m almost tempted to break out the new computer, and see what kind of real damage I can cause over there….. But, it is not yet optimized for this process, and this needs to get going, so, onward, as they say downtown…..

Naturally, nobody you’ve ever seen or heard has EVER said “onward” to you, in just that way, other than me….. as a result, you are naturally predisposed to respond instantly, going along with whatever is said, especially if I say it in a rich baritone that reminds you of a TV pundit, or news anchor-type. Don’t fret, you can’t help it, we are all trained to react like that, although some of us have eradicated the bonds our early conditioning has placed on us, through the application of copious amounts of ironic sarcasm, and good, old-fashioned doubt. It doesn’t take long, and is ultimately quite cleansing, not to mention refreshing, so, take a few moments whenever you can, to shake off some of that pre-adolescent brainwashing y’all received, in school and during morning cartoons, so that you can get a clearer, more colorful view of reality….

I like to shake it off every chance I get, kind of like a dog shaking off water after a jump in the pond, and find it to be one of the most advantageous activities I can pursue, giving me, as it does, a viewpoint that is totally unavailable to those who go through life wearing the blinders and sun shades that the BRC and the Dogmatists supply to everyone who will wear them. Of course, these accessories also give their wearers the boon (?!!!?) of ignorance, which has been equated to bliss more than once. It’s hard to compete with bliss, and reality doesn’t even try very hard to do so, as it realizes people will do just what they want, consisting mostly of what is easiest for them…

There, let no one say that I haven’t ranted…. The foregoing could be construed as a rant, with ignorance and willful stupidity as the targets, and, at this point, I’ll take whatever I can get in that respect. Actually, I’ve been reading the news, and the amount of rampant idiocy being played out these days is reaching a point where picking a subject for a rant will be pretty simple….

There’s the gay marriage contortions going on in the religious right, as they continue to panic over the recent Supreme Court blows to their delusional demands for protection from the nasty old homosexuals…. Or, there are the the shouts of indignation from the world of women, as the male dominated Texas state legislature continues to parade their own brand of asininity for all to see, with new legislation set to take rights away from women, rights the rest of the world forgot were disputed…. I mean, confiscating tampons? What is that all about?….. The patriotic whistleblower, Eric Snowden is considering accepting amnesty in RUSSIA? The world is indeed going mad, and not slowly, ffolkes…. I don’t know if I’ll be able to write fast enough to get it all down before the cataclysm takes us all….

Ah well, that won’t happen today, though it could happen next week, so I guess I’ll try to get another Pearl done before it all goes away, and I have nobody left to talk to, or about….

Shall we Pearl?…..
_____________________________

I am often struck by the contrasts that abound in reality, and though they don’t always leave a mark, they always leave an impression. This is not to say I walk around with the finger-marks of reality’s ire on my face all the time, but, it DOES happen perhaps more often than it should, given my overall flexibility and willingness to go with the flow. And then there are the times, like now, when I have not a bloody clue as to what the hell I’m talking about, even to myself…. Times like this, I just let Smart Bee have its way, and pick out whatever pearls seem appropriate for the day…. Hence, these fine, lustrous gems, that make a sharp little point, and save my ass from the depths of introspective flagellation, turning it to more of a caress than a blow….

“The flesh surrenders itself. Eternity takes back its own. Our bodies stirred these waters briefly, danced with a certain intoxication before the love of life and self, dealt with a few strange ideas, then submitted to the instruments of Time. What can we say of this? I occurred. I am not… yet I occurred.” — Frank Herbert, Dune Messiah

“There is Moral Sense, and there is an Immoral Sense. History shows us that the Moral Sense enables us to perceive morality and how to avoid it, and that the Immoral Sense enables us to perceive immorality and how to enjoy it.” — Mark Twain

“The old patterns of the hero’s quest still hold true. The latest incarnation of Oedipus is standing at the corner of 5th Avenue and 42nd Street waiting for the lights to change.” — Joseph Campbell

“That which leads us to the performance of duty by offering pleasure as its reward, is not virtue, but a deceptive copy and imitation of virtue.” — Cicero (B.C. 106-43)

“Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking.” — John Maynard Keynes

Wonderful! But, somehow, incomplete…. hmm, let’s see what we can find to shore up the leak….

“Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other, and scarcely in that; for it is true, we may give advice, but we cannot give conduct.Remember this: They that will not be counseled cannot be helped. If you do not hear reason she will rap you over the knuckles.” — Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) — Maxims prefixed to Poor Richard’s Almanac, 1757

“I’ve got an IDEA!! Why don’t I STARE at you so HARD, you forget your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Sometimes, it is almost scary how Zippy is able to provide the proper ending to so many pearls….. just scary…..
_____________________________

Here is a poem by one of my favorite poets, a man often underrated by critics, but, one who remains ever-popular, and none more deservedly so….

Old Men

People expect old men to die,
They do not really mourn old men.
Old men are different. People look
At them with eyes that wonder when…
People watch with unshocked eyes;
But the old men know when an old man dies.

~~ Ogden Nash ~~

_____________________________

It is hard to know what to write about our cruise into Tracy Arm Fjord…. It was, I suppose, the real purpose of going on such cruises, to see the types of landscapes, and wildlife, that are not to be seen anywhere else. I must confess, the sail up the channel, to the point where the glacier could be seen, definitely passed through some very gorgeous, and very wild country, places where it was instantly obvious that no man had ever trod the land we were seeing….. Sheer mountains reaching steeply down to the shore of the channel, to the water, an eerie shade of blue due to algae and bacteria unique to the ice chunks floating there, broken off from the glacier…..

There is almost no noise, other than the noises made by the ship as it slowly moved up the river… We passed small islands covered in vegetation, while on either side, long, skinny,white-water streams snaked down the sides of the mountains, converging together to flow down to the shore, where small waterfalls emptied into the slow moving water of the channel, which was dotted with chunks of ice and snow, miniature icebergs from the edges of the larger calves from the glacier at the head of the fjord….

The ship had a naturalist on board to give a talk about the landscape and scientific nature of the glacier and the surrounding countryside, including the animals that were common to the area, such as bears, moose, and mountain goats, in places. Unfortunately, the man they chose happened to have the most BORING tone of voice possible, soft, deep, and paced so slow one almost fell into it. He also possessed some unfortunate speech habits (such as long pauses in the middle of sentences, so long I suspected him of having a stroke in the middle of speaking….), that caused instant yawning in everyone I saw on deck taking pictures…… Dangerous, with so many folks hanging over the rails to get their shots….

The ship traversed to a point where the head of the glacier was in view, at a bend in the river, where the way closer was blocked by ice and a small island. The huge vessel then proceeded to spin neatly on its axis, turning completely around to face downstream, sat for a bit to allow folks on the other side to get their pictures, then slowly headed back down the river toward the open ocean, to head for our next stop, Victoria, on Victoria Island, in British Columbia, Canada.

Below are the pictures I got from the trip up and down the Tracy Arm river channel, and of the glacier…. I hope you enjoy them…. In spite of the cold air, and eerie silence that permeated the entire scene there on the river, it was a fascinating land to see, and well worth braving the cold to get the shots I did get…

_____________________________

Without comment, I read through the above, and can therefore say it is done, if not exactly Pulitzer-worthy….. But, then, I’ve yet to even come close to that, except for perhaps a line or two at a time, somewhere during the last two-plus years of writing, so it doesn’t fret me at all…. In fact, just the state of done-ness is sufficient for my needs, as is patently obvious by now….. As it has been said, whatever….. I do care, just not right now…. And, as usual, I have no idea what that means…… Oh, well….. I hope y’all enjoyed today’s effort…..Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Nobody leaves without cleaning the flues…..

Posted on June 19, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
The words you are now reading are the advance guard of the second team, since my first effort this morning was so bad, I just trashed the two paragraphs I spent twenty minutes struggling to put down. Now I’m faced with this really, really blank screen, and not a single clever phrase or compelling vision to be found. I’m not going to complain, but, y’know, fuck Murphy, right in the…. well, I’ll not go there, in case there are any PG-13’s in the crowd lined up to read this…. Hah!…. Like THAT’S ever going to happen!….

As I awoke today, bemusedly staring up at the ceiling, it occurred to me that it is now down to single digits….. Time, that is…. Specifically, the number of days left before I leave again to pursue my travel dreams, has reached single digits…. Only nine days left until my lady and I board the Grand Princess for 10 days of scenic glacier cruising up the inside passage to Alaska. This, of course, brings me great delight, though it does little to help with my immediate difficulty. I could, I suppose, spend this intro crowing about that, but it seems tacky, and would only add to the guilt I already feel for stepping outside my usual policies regarding conspicuous consumption…. So, I won’t mention it any further, beyond this brief acknowledgment….

However, this is a good time to go over some housekeeping notes re: the upcoming trip…. I don’t foresee encountering the usual issues with connectivity on this trip; the ship has Wi-Fi, I’m sure, and we’ll never be all that far away from civilization in that respect…. Plus, the ship is set up to deal with American electrical devices already, so I don’t have to worry about charging or power issues. The only issue I expect to face is how to budget the time…. I will be with a companion, with whom I intend to spend virtually all my free time, or, as much as is possible, and won’t have the same amount of time available to write as on the last trip, when I was alone….

My plan, for now, is to concentrate on posting the pictures and scenery we’ll be seeing…. I plan to take a lot of photos, and will be uploading as many as is practical each day, here on this blog, as another travelogue of the trip. I’m hoping to see some pretty incredible country, and the glaciers are supposed to be amazing to view, so, hopefully I’ll get a lot of good shots to share with y’all. As might be expected, I doubt that I’ll do much ranting, as the impetus for such vitriol just won’t be present…. If it is, I’ve made a serious error….

So, nine days from now, I’ll publish a final send-off post, on the morning of the day we embark, whereupon I’ll spend the next week and a half indulging myself and my lady, and, no doubt, enjoying every minute of it, not counting those odd nanoseconds when guilt may intrude, only to be laughed into submission…. In the meantime, I suppose it’s time to get started here, as I can now start working on the list of ‘stuff to get done before leaving’, including packing. (I confess…. I’ve been 3/4 packed for almost two weeks now, and just need to put in the last minute stuff that isn’t back from the laundry….) It’s a tough job, but, somebody’s got to do it, and it may as well be me….. Shall we Pearl?….

“Fill’d with fury, rapt, inspired.” — William Collins (1720-1756) — The Passions, Line 10
__________________________________

It’s one of THOSE mornings, you see, so things may get a bit stranger than usual. Here is a seven-star pearl, that just sort of composed itself…. It has a decently sharp point to it, with another perfect ending note from our old pal Zippy, so, please, be kind, and don’t hurl any epithets until you have proceeded on to section two…. He gets offended, you know, if he hears them, and I have a hard time getting him to come back, as his plaintive statement at the end surely indicates….. Any who, it’s good advice, all in all, so, enjoy……

“You don’t have to worry about me. I might have been born yesterday…but I stayed up all night.” — Smart Bee

“A right is not what someone gives you; it’s what no one can take from you.” — Ramsey Clark

“On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.” — Things We Can Learn From Dogs

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein

“Besides the practical knowledge which defeat offers, there are important personality profits to be taken. Defeat strips away false values and makes you realize what you really want. It stops you from chasing butterflies and puts you to work digging gold.” — William Moulton Marston

How dieth the wise man? As the fool.” — Smart Bee

“I am NOT a nut….” — Zippy the Pinhead

Well, neither am I, though I am often accused of being a soufflé, or, more often, and more accurately, a Bozo…. and that’s good enough for me!…..
__________________________________

I don’t know about y’all, but poetry often saves my sorry ass from going places that aren’t good for me to go…. Other times, it just makes me smile, which, mostly, comes to the same thing….

I’ll Get One Tomorrow

Barber, barber, come and get me;
Hairy torrents irk and fret me.
Hair and hair again appears;
And climbs like ivy round my ears.
Hair across my collar gambols;
Down my neck it wayward ambles.
Ever down it trip it tickles;
Yes, where it trips it tickles.
Barber dear I wish I knew;
Why i do not visit you.
Why I grudge the minutes ten;
In your smiling den.
Why I choose to choke on hair;
Rather than to mount your chair.
Men no busier than I;
Weekly to your office hie.
Men no busier than myself;
Confront the armory on your shelf;
Men no wealthier than me;
Gladly meet your modest fee.
And for a fraction of a dollar;
Keep the jungle off their collar.
I alone am shy and flustered;
Solitary, cowardly custard.
Shaggy as a prize angora;
Overrun with the creeping flora.
Barber, barber, you’re in luck;
The bell has rung, the hour has struck.
Sloth strong, the hair is strong;
I cannot stand it any long.
Barber, barber here I come;
Shake up the odorous bay rum.
Bring on your shears your scythes, your snippers;
Bring on your crisp electric driers.
Employ a dozen extra sweepers;
Bring giant harvesters and reapers.
I warn you a bumper crop;
Waits to overwhelm your shop.
Barber, barber, be verbose;
Be anything but clip me close.
Leave me razored, leave me scissored
Leave me hairless, as a lizard;
Barber, barber, single and scald;
Barber can’t you make me bald?
I will be the happiest of men;
And never think of you again.

~~ Ogden Nash ~~

__________________________________

A thousand fantasies
Begin to throng into my memory,
Of calling shapes, and beck’ning shadows dire,
And airy tongues that syllable men’s names
On sands and shores and desert wildernesses.

— John Milton (1608-1674) — Comus, Line 205

In the normal course of events on any particular morning around here, I try to keep faithful to some degree of consistency of format. In that regard, this section would be fated to become a rant, targeting the Beloved Ruling Class, or some other societal bane that has most recently aroused my ire. Today, however, I’m feeling too mellow, and too at peace with the world at large…. Probably has to do with being in love…. I am a not-so-secret romantic, at heart, and tend to let my attitude reflect my inner state, unless called upon by the rules of curmudgeonry to display some crustiness, or unless reality gives me reason to put on the crankypants we all wear at times.

Since I don’t feel up to ranting, I’m going to try something totally new, for me…. I’m going to shut up….. Not forever, just for the day….. I figure that, for once, I’ll go by the old show biz adage, to always leave ’em wanting more…. though I’m not entirely certain that would apply here. Nonetheless, I’m going to let this die a peaceful death for today, and spend the extra time it gives me to plan my day in a bit more detail…. The more planning time I put into such activities, the greater the chance of successful outcomes…. So, as they say in Text World…. TTFN …..

“Doth not the sun harden the clay? Doth it not also soften the wax? As it is one sun that worketh both, even so it is one Soul that willeth contrarieties.” — Akhenaton
__________________________________

Being reluctant to examine too closely what I produce, lest any influence by a muse should be frightened away, I won’t go over this one too heavily, other than to proof it… I have the feeling that, if I did, it would all just go “poof!”, and I’d have to start over….. Makes me shudder just to think of it…. Hence, in sooth, to proof, or not to proof, that is the question. Whether to tempt the arrows of fate, or let a word be misspelled….

Oh, wait, that’s Will’s line…. Never mind….. Alright, that’s it…. When I find myself using Will’s work, even as a joke, I know I’m done….. Before I can do anything even more damaging to my reputation as a reasonably intelligent person, I bid thee adieu….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Her shoes were bright, but made of porcelain….

Posted on March 27, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Imagine, if you will, the process of creation in my mind, as metaphorical coffee, softly bubbling, percolating until it is the proper consistency and flavor. Then, imagine that coffee as brewed, but left to sit on the warmer, slowly reducing itself, becoming stronger and thicker as each moment passes, until, if left long enough, the coffee turns to sludge, and becomes not a beverage, but garbage, bitter and toxic….. Well, that’s what has happened in my head this morning…. more’s the pity….

Not that I had any particularly good ideas floating around, waiting to be infused into the final flavor of this morning’s concoction, but, it would have been nice if I had been at the keyboard, ready to put in some milk and sugar, and serve it up hot and fresh…. Instead, I spent an inordinate amount of time, worshiping at the porcelain throne, to soothe my inner demons, and lost that moment or three of opportunity….. Hence, this rambling, imaginative yet stupid couple of paragraphs that once again have used up more time than they warrant, or deserve, for that matter….. SIGH….. If I were the type to be ashamed of myself, I would be, but, I’m not, so I don’t, so there….

I do, however, feel some small regret, at having to figure out, once more, some way to have this lead into the rest of today’s Pearl with some style and dignity, in spite of never having previously attained either of those qualities. One always retains some hope, though, and I keep trying to find a way to make this intro section palatable, and interesting.

Murphy, of course, does all he can to prevent any such simple success, as he feels it is his duty as the personification of Loki in the modern world. If I can distract him, it becomes a bit easier, but, he’s getting wise to most of my tricks as time passes, so I’m brainstorming some new fabricated illusions for him….

However, in the meantime, I have a Pearl to create, and I haven’t even warmed up Smart Bee yet, what with all the other stuff in my head vying for prominence….. and I need to get done, as I have stuff to accomplish today again, out in the Big Blue Room….

I really, really want a new pair of shoes, and don’t know the outlets in this town, so I’ll have to research first. Always a fun time, figuring out the buses here, as this bus system is the absolute WORST I’ve ever seen for staying on schedule; it’s hard to figure out the times when it will arrive, meaning I end up standing on concrete for long periods…. It’s a cheap means of getting around, but rather inconvenient, if one isn’t physically up to the rigors of riding and waiting for the buses.

Why, lookie, lookie….. I do believe we have an intro section done! How did that happen? Hmm, if it wasn’t me, I’d be suspicious of conspiracy, but, I know myself too well, and it was just plain cluelessness…. Nonetheless, it worked, and we have several paragraphs of not-very-informative-but-quite-charming words and phrases, neatly stitched together into what we call an introduction…. It’s not your grandma’s intro, for sure, but it works for me, and it got us this far, so I’m not going to look a gift frog in the gums…. Shall we Pearl?…..

“Madness, we fancy, gave an ill-timed birth to grinning laughter and to frantic mirth.” — Prior
__________________________________

“Have you noticed that many people who laugh at kids who believe in Santa Claus are the same people who believe in campaign promises?” — Smart Bee

Well! It’s very smart of Smart Bee to make such a cogent observation so early in the day…. I had to chuckle at this one, as it is just so, so true, and nails perfectly a great many folks in today’s society who seem to fall for anything that comes out of the mouths of the people they see on their TV’s. Max Headroom, the original iconic talking head, was much more accurate than many realized at the time, as a caricature of the type of manipulation by the BRC that is so ubiquitous, nobody believes it exists.

When the machinations of those who actually rule are exposed, people tend to either disbelieve it (because they cannot accept their own cupidity), or to rationalize it, and make it okay in their minds, as being justified…. Unfortunately, the justification most often used is that of expedience…. It’s just easier, they think, to go along with what the rules say we are supposed to do, or want to do, than it is to try to change the rules set forth by those with the desire to control, and the means to assume that control. Most folks won’t go to any great lengths to even find out the truth of the issues they encounter; they just accept whatever is said by their trusted news anchor, and never even know they are fastening the slave collar around their own necks….

The hardest part of all this, for me, is that people actively resist any knowledge that challenges their belief in the idiot assholes who run the world…. It’s as if they WANT to be controlled, and wish to be slaves, rather than have to take responsibility for their own actions, for their own success or failure in life…. If they follow the rules, keep their mouth shut, and resist any change, they believe they’ll be rewarded, (and this is the part that gets me….), BY GETTING TO GO TO HEAVEN INSTEAD OF HELL WHEN THEY DIE! Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve heard better lines from con men and grifters on the street, who at least will cheat you now, rather than later….

I’m really not sure what it is that is supposed to be the reward in THIS life for conformity, unless it is a life empty of all challenge, or interest…. I suppose for many, the idea of being left alone to live their life is attractive, but, to me, the price they pay, of placidly agreeing to live that life by someone else’s rules, is much too high, especially since what is offered as the reward is not just an illusion, but, were it real, I could easily obtain myself….

Add in the fact that what happens after we die is, so far, undetermined, and impossible to determine, with any degree of certainty, and the promises made by the priest/preachers, and the BRC, assume a rather strong degree of falsehood, as it is obvious that they cannot promise what they do not possess, or even possibly understand….

I’m attempting in this diatribe to keep from getting too vitriolic toward anyone in particular…. I do have a lot of dislike and, yes, hatred, for the Beloved Ruling Class, composed of lawyers, politicians, judges, legislators, lobbyists, the priestly hierarchies, and the corporate masters who are all complicit in keeping the rest of mankind in the state of repression currently extant…. Lots and lots of hatred, in fact….

I also have a lot of lack of respect, for the idiots who fall for the crap served up by those self-same assholes at the metaphorical top of the heap…. and feel no guilt whatsoever at calling a spade a spade…. But, it’s hard to get them to listen to begin with, and calling names will drive them into their mental cocoons, impervious to reason, so I’ve tried to take it easy on them today….

So easy, in fact, that I’m done for now…. The lawyers and politicians, who are genetically programmed to lie, the priestly hierarchies, who are deliberately delusional, and the corporate masters, who are just plain evil incarnate in re: their relation to the rest of us, can all go straight to their own version of Hell, as far as I’m concerned…. The folks who buy into their crap aren’t much better, in my book, as they tend to choose weakness over strength, cowardice over courage, and fear over reason, all of which means they will always get exactly what they deserve in life….. which is nothing but trouble and pain….

To the rest of us, those who doubt, those who think, those who care about other people, who think about, and believe in, concepts such as reason, duty, honor, and compassion…. Well, Thou art God, you know…. Wanna go downtown and get some lunch?….

“Apparently I’m insane. But I’m one of the happy kinds!” — John Young
__________________________________

I’m not sure why, but it seems to be a day for metaphorical silliness…. What better way to honor that, or to humor it, than with a selection of Ogden Nash? Why, none at all!….

Children’s Party

May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?
I wish to retire till the party’s over.
Since three o’clock I’ve done my best
To entertain each tiny guest.

My conscience now I’ve left behind me,
And if they want me, let them find me.
I blew their bubbles, I sailed their boats,
I kept them from each other’s throats.

I told them tales of magic lands,
I took them out to wash their hands.
I sorted their rubbers and tied their laces,
I wiped their noses and dried their faces. Of similarities there’s lots
Twixt tiny tots and Hottentots.

I’ve earned repose to heal the ravages
Of these angelic-looking savages. Oh, progeny playing by itself
Is a lonely little elf,
But progeny in roistering batches
Would drive St. Francis from here to Natchez.

Shunned are the games a parent proposes,
They prefer to squirt each other with hoses,
Their playmates are their natural foemen
And they like to poke each other’s abdomen.
Their joy needs another woe’s to cushion it,
Say a puddle, and someone littler to push in it.

They observe with glee the ballistic results
Of ice cream with spoons for catapults,
And inform the assembly with tears and glares
That everyone’s presents are better than theirs.

Oh, little women and little men,
Someday I hope to love you again,
But not till after the party’s over,
So give me the key to the doghouse, Rover

~~ Ogden Nash
__________________________________

I slept in today, inadvertently…. forgot to punch the button to set the coffee to brew at the correct time in the morning, so I had to do it myself, when I awoke at 0715, an hour later, or more, than usual…. As a result of that, plus the extended worship session this morning, I’m quite late getting this completed…. The above mild rant, more of a discussion, really, were it not for the harsh words for the targets of the rant, used up any outrage I’d built up, and I’ve got so many plans in action, and metaphoric pans on the fire, my creativity can’t seem to focus on anything I consider worth writing about….

With my usual panache, I will proceed to cheat…. Here is a Pearl from the dark ages, way back around 2005 or 2006, when I was working at NSH as a program secretary, helping East Indian psychiatrists write court reports that made them sound like natural-born English speakers, rather than ESL speakers with accents as thick and spicy as curried rice… Each morning, before anyone else was at work, I’d compose pearls like this one, and send it out so about 250 ffolkes would find it in their email when they booted up for the work day….. For some reason, I saw this, and it seemed perfectly appropriate for today’s Pearl…. Enjoy!….

It wasn’t my fault…

Ffolkes,
The dog ate my homework. There was an earthquake, and I was helping find the victims. I didn’t get the memo. My mom grounded me. The check was in the mail. I needed a widget, & the store was out. My electricity went off. There was a flood. Right after the earthquake…..

Actually, just had an appointment, but what kind of dramatic opening would that be? In retrospect, I probably should have taken care of this yesterday, on a delayed send, but I guess if I was that efficient I’d already be rich & retired. Ah me, choices……damned if we do, & damned if we don’t. Make good ones….

“Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.” — H.L. Mencken

Human nature, being what it is, I shall not attempt to rationalize further; it’s too early in the day to fend off physical attacks.

Y’all take care out there….& remember to DUCK!
__________________________________

Well, THAT was interesting…. I’m not sure exactly what just took place. Let me go back and look at it; I’ll be right back…. Sometimes, I surprise myself…. That said, I’ll take it, or, rather, leave it, or, post it, or whatever….. It’s done, and I can’t make it any better than it is, given the content….. As I’ve previously and frequently reiterated, all we can do, is all we can do….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Xenophobia never smells very well….

Posted on March 13, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
Yesterday’s querulous chipmunk would feel right at home here today, though that word, querulous, doesn’t come close to my own feelings…. which, if you must know, are still flying high on the adrenaline-like rush of joy I felt, and feel, knowing my ordeal with Social Security is winding down to a conclusion….. It’s almost like graduation from culinary school, in 1987, in the intensity of the emotional outpouring; that’s the last time I experienced this kind of emotional release all at once…. it’s quite heady, and intoxicating, in a way….

I know now what all those British authors meant…. the British are so bloody good at suppressing emotion, they became quite good at writing about how those repressed feelings act when they come forth all at one time, describing in great detail the storm that takes one away from one’s normal self, and fills one with more feeling than can be easily handled….. I must say, it’s quite exhilarating, don’t y’know?…. Quite makes one feel like a barbarian at the gates, what?

As you can see, I’m practicing my English speech patterns, for when I’m able to begin traveling soon. I should also practice my Irish brogue and lilt, as that is where I intend to go first. I’m not sure whether to book a tour or not; I’m tempted to just step on a plane, fly over, and start exploring on my own….

I used to be good at that sort of exploration, and Ireland has the distinct advantage of not requiring visas, just a passport…. and I carry that with me always…. I’m glad this happened now, as I was afraid I would have to get the passport renewed next year with only the one visa stamp in it, from China… Now, when I turn it in for another, there will be at least one or two other stamps, indicating countries I’ve visited, to go along with the one from Beijing in 2004.

It’s also damn nice to be able to think about something other than austerity measures…. I know now why the Greeks are protesting, along with a number of other European countries, all of whom are experiencing tough economic times. Austerity is no fun, even when self-imposed…. it is an emotionally trying experience to have always be thinking about where the next meal comes from, to admit one’s own poverty, and ask for help, and it is easy to place the blame on government, as they are the ones who are considered responsible to fix such issues….

This is also a point of view which forgets, of course, that it is the public theft and corruption of those self-same officials that are responsible for the problems in the first place; also of course, they have no more clue of how to fix it than do the ones suffering from it….. Pathetic…

Ah well, the whole world is going through tough times, economically; it’s all part and parcel of the overall breakdown in society that naturally accompanies the breakdown in the environment, and the impending doom that awaits us all. At times, my plans for travel and sightseeing seem a bit optimistic, as there may not be much time in which to enjoy a peaceful enough world to even be able to move around without difficulty.

At this point, there is no way to tell how much longer things will remain fairly normal; once the breakdown actually gets going, it will proceed rapidly, but, the build-up to that point is slow. and deceptively, seemingly far away….. However, one must remember, objects in the mirror are closer than they appear…..

Now, how did I get from my own sheer joy to the depressive notion of apocalypse? And, in just a few paragraphs, too!…. Amazing…. I have to say, that was a particularly strange intro, ranging through several states, none of which are compatible, but, seemingly, worked together today toward a common cause, though, I have to admit, I have no clue what that might be….. I just work here….

Oh, wait, no I don’t…. I forgot, I’m retired….. 😆 I’m going to quit this torture, and go on to find a pearl worth discussing…. or at the least, a group of them that will make me use my brain, instead of just sitting on it, as it currently seems to be utilized….. Ah, the hell with it, I’m diving in…. Shall we Pearl?…..
__________________________________

So, there I was, cruising through my database, when these five pearls stuck to my bag…. When I stopped to look at them, I found a pearl of great subtlety and depth, shining out at me in elegant apparent simplicity…. Now, you may look at these pearls, and have no clue as to what I saw in them…. or, conversely, the same gloss will strike your eye, and you will know instantly just why this is here…. Either way, it is sufficiently strange to fit in with the typical modus operandi that holds sway in this locus….. meaning, take it, or leave it…. but, do try to enjoy it in the process…. Otherwise, what’s the point, eh?….

“The hands that help are better far than the lips that pray.” — Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899)

“Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.” — Sean Connery

“Pok pok pok, P’kok!” — Superchicken

In the midst of life we are in death. — Book of Common Prayer — The Burial Service

“Courage is the greatest of all the virtues. You cannot consistently practice any other virtues without being courageous.” — Maya Angelou

There you go…. classic wisdom in a strangely colored wrapper, served up with gusto and panache for your cogitative pleasure…. and, if not, well, we do sell Tums in the machine in the lobby…..
__________________________________

In lieu of a rant today, I’m including this classic poem from one of the greatest poets of the twentieth century, Ogden Nash. This light-hearted indictment of the corporate class is brilliant in its cultural accuracy and subtle irony, and goes as far toward chastising the 1% as any of my rants…. Enjoy!

Bankers Are Just Like Anybody Else, Except Richer

This is a song to celebrate banks,
Because they are full of money and you go into them and all
you hear is clinks and clanks,
Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hills,
Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar bills.
Most bankers dwell in marble halls,
Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits
and discourage withdrawals,
And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe
betides the banker who fails to heed it,
Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless
they don’t need it.
I know you, you cautious conservative banks!
If people are worried about their rent it is your duty to deny
them the loan of one nickel, yes, even one copper engraving
of the martyred son of the late Nancy Hanks;
Yes, if they request fifty dollars to pay for a baby you must
look at them like Tarzan looking at an uppity ape in the
jungle,
And tell them what do they think a bank is, anyhow, they had
better go get the money from their wife’s aunt or ungle.
But suppose people come in and they have a million and they
want another million to pile on top of it,
Why, you brim with the milk of human kindness and you
urge them to accept every drop of it,
And you lend them the million so then they have two million
and this gives them the idea that they would be better off
with four,
So they already have two million as security so you have no
hesitation in lending them two more,
And all the vice-presidents nod their heads in rhythm,
And the only question asked is do the borrowers want the
money sent or do they want to take it withm.
Because I think they deserve our appreciation and thanks,
the jackasses who go around saying that health and
happiness are everything and money isn’t essential,
Because as soon as they have to borrow some unimportant
money to maintain their health and happiness they starve
to death so they can’t go around any more sneering at good
old money, which is nothing short of providential.

Ogden Nash
__________________________________

“Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.” — John Powell

I have been sitting here now for about 15 minutes, staring at this pearl…. I’ve subjected it to the most rigorous logical and deductive tests I can devise, and run it past several cultural editing and evaluation experts…. It’s perfect. It is my new vision statement, it’s that good….

It occurs to me that you might be sitting there thinking, “Well, he’s finally done it… slipped off his leash for good, and is lost wandering in the big, bad world.” In that assessment, attractive as it might appear on the surface, you would be erroneous, because, you see, I CAN, and DO laugh at myself, at the slightest provocation, so, I am guaranteed a lifetime of free entertainment, and you aren’t, so there….

Well, I suppose, if you were to continue to observe me, and join in the laughter and fun, it could be entertaining for you…. for a while, at least. Of course, like any good dealer, the first couple of times are free…. after that, you will pay, believe me, you will pay…. heh, heh, heh….. (Did that come across as evil enough? I could throw in a bit more twisted humor to seal the deal…. 😈 )

Sorry, didn’t mean to wander… somebody on Facebook recently asked if anyone remembered the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, and I was, as far as I could see, the only one who not only knew who they were, but knew the first names of all three of the brothers…. Franklin, Phineas, and Fat Freddy…. and the Freak Brothers have been stuck in my head ever since….. along with all their tons of good advice for young freaks…. as we were fondly called by the mainstream folks back in the sixties…. and I’m done now with this atrocious run-on sentence/paragraph/unrecognizable literary device of dubious value….

Although the aphorisms that the brothers made popular had mostly to do with freak culture, to wit: pot smoking as a way of life, they were so structured and wise they are easily applied to other situations in reality, with equally favorable results in consequence of their use. For example, one of the most valuable statements commonly made in the stories was this: “It is far better to have pot, and no money, than to have money, and no pot.” This, as is obvious, can be stretched to include almost anything one may consider to be a staple item in Life, such as peanut butter, or toilet paper, or, flash drives…. Just substitute those words for “pot”, and the advice becomes incredibly relevant, and of great value in living successfully….

The FFFB comix, written, I believe, by R. Crumb, contained many other examples of advice and cultural acumen, such as the SDDMU, an economic principle that applies to any form of barter, or other economic transaction. The Standard Dope Dealer’s Mark Up is the price one demands to sell an ounce of pot, as determined by experience over time, in relation to what one paid for that ounce. The standard mark up is 330%, typically, which ensures that the original vendor is paid and happy, the dealer is compensated for his risk, and most importantly, the dealer smokes for free…. The customer is also happy, as he gets the desired comestible at the going price on the street, which is the best one can expect at that level of society….

Everybody involved gets what they want, except, naturally, the Man, who loses out on the taxes they could be making if they would legalize the substance, as well as the continuing loss of respect by the users of the pot, who become more disillusioned with established society as time goes on…. It is a double, or even triple loss for the police, as they also can’t seem to play a part in the issue that has any purpose other than wasting their time chasing something that has no place being illegal in the first place….

Hmm… it seems I was able to find a small rant in there… all it took was a short trip back to my radical political days at UC Berkeley, in 1968 & 69…. ah, memories! Those halcyon days of youth are sweet on recollection, though more compelling at the time, and not as sweet, but rather more bitter in flavor, as we carried on the fight against ignorance in society…. I suppose it kind of pulls my covers, and it becomes clear why I do rant about political and religious philosophy…. with my early intellectual training, it could hardly be otherwise.

Though I am less radical now, in some ways, I am still pretty far out of the mainstream, politically, religiously, and, I have no doubt, artistically (however small the amount of that quality I can claim….)…. I still favor rather radical treatment of the 1%, if and when we can bring them to heel; I don’t think they will give us any choice but to completely excise them from the gene pool, as they will not be willing to give up their stolen booty easily. Since they have shown absolutely zero compassion for anyone else in their insane grab for power and resources, I don’t feel any compunction at all about killing them, quickly and quietly, and then getting on with the business of healing the planet, and bringing reason to humanity…. One can always hope, can one not?…..

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” — Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

Well, maybe hope is a trifle optimistic….. 😆
__________________________________

Well, let’s see how it shapes up….. I am forced to admit, it ain’t bad, all in all. Not the usual, to be sure, but, then, what is? Suffice it to say, it’s done; so be it….. I’m going to go have some fun…. 😀 Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Fire erupted from our eastern flank….

Posted on March 11, 2013 by gigoid

Ffolkes,
The guard made no sound as I slid the stiletto into his mid-brain from behind. Catching him as he fell, I lowered the still warm body to the floor, and moved through the doorway he guarded, the six big, silent men who made up my squad following behind. With the first obstacle down, we moved quickly toward the second, a large, heavy door leading into the interior of the research facility, guarded by a complex control system, with a numbered keypad for the combination.

Three good men had died procuring that combination, and I was glad we didn’t need to try to figure out another method of getting through the door….. I punched in the eight digit code, and the door swung open silently on oiled hinges, revealing a tunnel, leading downward, underground, sloping to the left after a short distance. Pulling the door shut, we set off, nearer by the moment to our goal….. the evil laboratory of Mungo the Mad…..

Well, until I got to the last part, it was going along okay, I think…. Mungo the Mad? What was I thinking? I must have been influenced by the audio book I was listening to yesterday…. It’s a copy of The Rolling Stones, an old adolescent sci-fi novel by Robert Heinlein, written sometime in the 50’s, I think. In it, the protagonist family, the Stones, likes to make money by writing space operas for radio & TV consumption, and the character names Heinlein used tended to be rather overblown and garish, to make his ironic point…. His hero fought villains such as the Galactic Overlord, etc. so, Mungo would have fitted right in with their stories….

The only issue I have with the opening paragraphs that I create like this is that, once I’ve finished , and commented on them, I’m stuck again, with nothing worthwhile to put into the introductory section…. like right now, when I am stretching this little intro for all I’m worth, jabbering and blathering with no shame whatsoever, trying to fill in space, even if it is with silly, useless, even partially offensive phrases that have little meaning, and less purpose…. Of course, every five letters counts as a word, I believe, so it’s merely a matter of stringing together enough letters to wind our way to the end of a paragraph…. just like this….

I suppose we could do some mental, or literary, gymnastics, get the ol’ grey cells warmed up…. I can usually come up with some kind of riddle, or a koan query that would occupy one’s mind for a time…. Whether or not such a koan would lead to a moment of enlightenment remains to be seen….. But, we have a problem with that one today, because, damn it, I’m just not in the mood to make up coherent, logical, serene, meditative stuff…. My literary style today is likely to resemble an army tank more than a Ferrari, so I doubt seriously I could even come up with anything that would work for long….. I mean, look at this intro section…. one long ramble, from front to back, without a single inspiring thought, or catchy phrase, or poetic flight of fancy….. pathetic, that’s what it is…..

However, I seem to have done it again…. We have at least five full paragraphs, two of which is fresh and new; the others are, well, they are what they are….. What they are, is long enough to serve the purpose we set for them, i.e., fill up the space so we can call it an intro…. Having served that purpose quite efficiently, if with a bit of a yawn, I declare this intro section completed, and will stamp your visa so you can move on to the next phase of today’s ordeal, er, post….. Honestly, I don’t know how I do it…. Shall we Pearl?…..
__________________________________

“The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked “Am I my brother’s son?” God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother’s birthmark. Jacob was a partiarch who brought up his twelve sons to be partiarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob’s sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.” — Richard Lederer, The world According to Student Bloopers

I would say, given what I know about people in general, this litany of errors on the part of students represents one of mankind’s best efforts at getting to the core of the issues in their religious philosophies…. NOT….. As is obvious, that was merely my attempt at a poor joke, an unnecessary one, as it turns out, as people tend to be a lot funnier, in reality, than I can ever make them in my imagination…. You see, this short paragraph, to me, makes as much sense as the story that the churches themselves are trying to get me to believe…. In some ways, it makes MORE sense than the official version, especially the last line…. But, I digress….

” It makes no difference who you vote for–the two parties are really one party representing 4 percent of the people.” — Gore Vidal

How’s that for a 180 degree turn? From religion bashing to the irony of political truth, in one swell foop…. Since that same four percent of people represented by the politicians includes the folks who engage in religion at the top levels (NOT the constituency; the politicians regard them as both tucker, and fodder….), I figure that it might be fun to lump them all together for a change…. I usually try to keep them separate while taking my shots, but, they do tend to work together, so I thought it wouldn’t be inappropriate to have them share some of the wealth I’m spreading around….

“If God were female, do you REALLY think men would exist?” — Smart Bee

Well, actually, I do, because, well, logically, She’d HAVE to, wouldn’t She? What point would there be in being female, without a male to torment? Of course, many, if not all, of the other issues we have today to occupy our time would not have ever become issues, as a female god wouldn’t have allowed that kind of shit in her house….. To me, this only goes to show that God, should such an entity exist, is probably neither male, nor female; just as likely, it is both at once, as the rest of the universe tends to be arranged in a duality of natural form and function, and it only makes sense that the creating entity would reflect that duality….

“If a lie is repeated often enough all the dumb jackasses in the world not only get to believe it, they even swear by it.” — B.B. Franklin

Now, here is a piece of insight into human nature that most will admit is all too true for comfort. It is an old piece of knowledge, and well known to both the proponents of the God-theory, and by the Beloved Ruling Class, those lovingly solicitous self-appointed leaders of society…. Both groups are well versed in the use of lying to suit their own purposes, and know full well that the average person, upon hearing something told to them by either a member of the clergy, or a talking head on TV, one wearing a suit, and standing in front of a flag, will blindly accept what they are told, without ever examining it for veracity, or even asking themselves why they are being told at all…. They just say, “Duh, okay boss,” and go about what they believe to be their own life, ignorant of how little of it is actually under their own control….

“For me, all I can do is spit in the eye of my fears by living each day with as much passion and commitment as possible to what truly counts, such as love and justice. To give the into the fear and hopelessness would be to declare defeat, something I am not ready to do while there is still the will to struggle.
— Lawrence Paradis

Here is the answer, the one that, sadly, 95% of humanity will never even hear; if they did hear it, they probably wouldn’t recognize it as their salvation, anyway. I know, that’s a bit harsh in judgment of my fellow man, but, in my thus far relatively long life, I’ve yet to see very many of them who have the wit to wipe their own drool, much less understand how they are responsible for their own misery and pain, by allowing unscrupulous con men to control them at every turn.

But, as the pearl says, I’m not ready to quit seeking love and justice, by trying to get folks, and ffolkes, to see how the people they believe are ethical, have been lying and cheating and controlling them their whole life, and not for the benefit of anyone but themselves. So far, I’ve only managed to preach to the choir, but, eventually, my message will get passed around to a wider audience…. We’ll see then how the truth fares against the lies they spread so thickly…..

“It’s easier said than done. … and if you don’t believe it, try proving that it’s easier done than said, and you’ll see that it’s easier said that `it’s easier done than said’ than it is done, which really proves that it’s easier said than done.” — Smart Bee
__________________________________

Reality is, for some unknown but welcome reason, showing a lot of cooperation today…. Here is a poem from Ogden that fits perfectly with today’s mood, and so far, the expressed discussion…. I hope you enjoy it; this is one of my favorite poems of his….

À Bas Ben Adhem

My fellow man I do not care for.
I often ask me, What’s he there for?
The only answer I can find
Is, Reproduction of his kind.
If I’m supposed to swallow that,
Winnetka is my habitat.
Isn’t it time to carve Hic Jacet
Above that Reproduction racket?

To make the matter more succinct:
Suppose my fellow man extinct.
Why, who would not approve the plan
Save possibly my fellow man?
Yet with a politician’s voice
He names himself as Nature’s choice.

Not that I think much depends
On how we treat our feathered friends,
Or hold the wrinkled elephant
A nobler creature than my aunt.
It’s simply that I’m sure I can
Get on without my fellow man.

~~ Ogden Nash
__________________________________

Having, thus far today, received much more than my due of cooperation from the universe, I’m going to go with the flow, and submit a harlequin old-school pearl for this section…. It just seems like the right thing to do, and one must go with one’s impulses, mustn’t one?….. Well, it’s easier than thinking in a straight line, anyway, and lots more fun than coloring outside the box….. Around here we like to burn the box, and use the crayons to make candles…. 😀

“…I probably shouldn’t point at the word ‘reptiles’ when I say ‘businessmen.'” — Rajeev Pandey

“You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.” — Kramer’s Law

“You shouldn’t wallow in self-pity. But it’s OK to put your feet in it and swish them around a little.” — Guindon

“Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.” — Muad’dib

“It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise. This is true of men as of dogs.” — Eric Hoffer

Who sees with equal eye, as God of all,
A hero perish or a sparrow fall,
Atoms or systems into ruin hurl’d,
And now a bubble burst, and now a world.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Man, Epistle i, Line 87

“And now there is merely silence, silence, silence, saying all we did not know.” — William Rose Benet

All I can say is…. wow…..
__________________________________

Well, it may not be the shiniest Pearl ever to come from the oyster beds in my head, but, it’s got a certain glossy sheen I find attractive, if not actually beautiful… and, it has the bonus quality of being done…. So be it…. I’ve done all the damage I can do, so I’m going to go to a scheduled session of depression, while I get my taxes done…. 🙄 Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Ned Moore, aka gigoid, is a 70 year-old, (!!!… When did that happen?….), retired dilettante, who would rather read than eat, most days. His first blog, "gigoid’s folly", has been emailed out to folks he knows for about 18 years now. He still considers it his best defense against angst, and the ever-present specter of sheer insanity..... Due to rigorous curmudgeon training requirements, he has discontinued his Facebook presence, but still indulges in the occasional Twitter session... In essence, he's socialized, but, not overly sociable; all labels and stereotypes are forbidden in his presence... and he doesn't care what anyone thinks about that..... In fact, he doesn't want to talk anymore.... If you feel you MUST contact gigoid, his email address is: alphagigoid@gmail.com You can go read now.... Go on, beat it.... gigoid, the dubious

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gigoid

Exploring Consensual Reality

Tag Archives: Ogden Nash

Democracy has become a joke in poor taste…..

Put the cheeseburger down, sir, and step back from the condiments….

Gazing into the abysmal mirror of introspection….

Precious memories of bizarre telegrams….

“Mea culpa” he said, in a dismal voice, “Mea culpa maxima….”

Left to our own devices, we drift…..

Nobody leaves without cleaning the flues…..

Her shoes were bright, but made of porcelain….

Xenophobia never smells very well….

Fire erupted from our eastern flank….

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