Doubtful dreams, dubiously delivered….

Ffolkes,

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

 ~~ Anais Nin ~~

ugly beauty

Beauty can be found even in ugliness…


Hajime…. I am empty of words. Those five you see in the previous sentence are the best beginning I could think to write, which goes to show just how empty I am at this moment. In spite of the unexpected sleep that I got, I’m tired, and grumpy, and just not in the mood. For anything.

Since there is nothing to say, I suppose I’ll go with the flow, and try to get a Pearl done without any sort of input from any sort of creative force. Talk about trusting the process…. Now we will see just how reliable the process has become, or, we’ll see an even greater mess than usual. The only fair way to judge it will be from the other end, so, we’ll go there, as quickly as possible. In fact we’re leaving now….

Shall we Pearl?

“Those who really deserve praise are the people who, while human enough to enjoy power, nevertheless pay more attention to justice than they are compelled to do by their situation.” — Thucydides

********************************

Bob Marley

    Today I feel like hearing from a revolutionary artist. This man’s music is the best example I can think of, for he lived, and made his music, for the people…. He was Jamaican, but, his attitude about humanity was perfectly Irish, for he believed implicitly in their belief, to wit: It is in the shelter of each other that people live….. Enjoy, ffolkes; and, live up to the lyrics….


********************************

Bob Marley
Legend

********************************

********************************

********************************


********************************

Sandclock .jpg

    Since I’ve nothing fresh to say, here is a discussion of morality & ethics from the archives; it will do just fine for the mood I’m in….

From 2/12/13:

I am an asshole. A jerk. A prick. A foul-mouthed, misbegotten excuse for a human being…. I, as is true of virtually all seven billion of my peers on this planet, am nothing more than a hypocrite, deserving of eternal residence in the lowest pits of hell for my perfidy….. What, you might ask, prompted this viciously personal outburst of self-denigration? Well, let me tell you….

Most of us, at some point or another, sit down from time to time to think about our actions, those we are considering, and those we have acted out in the past, to get some perspective on how those actions have conformed to our ethical and moral beliefs. In other words, we sit in self-judgment; whether we do so to praise or to chastise doesn’t matter, ultimately, as long as it is an honest appraisal, and we do not flinch from owning up to our baseness where it is found…..

This is why I am forced to curse myself…. Because I’m not a Catholic,  or any other faith that espouses such mummery, (I don’t mean to pick on Catholics…. some of my best friends, etc…..  😆  ….. They’re just an example everyone recognizes, and can relate to as similar to their own….)….  Any who, because I’m not of that Tribe, I don’t have the luxury of confessing to a priest, who would then reassure me that I am still one of the Chosen Ones, and send me on my way having learned nothing but a false sense of entitlement.

I can’t just pass off what I may have done in my life to some faceless butthead in a dress, who, no doubt, has a great laugh at the expense of the penitent, when he and the other priests get together in the rectory for a few drinks, passing around all the latest tall tales and outtakes from the confessional booth…..

I consider myself to be a morally upright person, and hope that my actions reflect that. But, I know for certain that, like every other human being who ever lived, I don’t always live up to those moral beliefs, and fall from grace on occasion…. If I were a less honest man, I’d say that there were mitigating, or at least explanatory reasons for my failures to hold to my own standards, but, if I tried that, my Dad would kick my ass from now until Thursday the next time I see him, so I’m not going to take that chance…. I take full responsibility for my actions, base and cruel as they were, and no one can hold me in lower regard than I do….

I had considered using this venue as a confessional, to air out my transgressions on the stage of reality, but, I don’t think that would be any more ethical than confessing to a priest…. Confession may make a difference to the penitent, by absolving him/her from any lingering guilt that could adversely affect them (i.e., they feel better about themselves after receiving absolution…), but, in truth, it doesn’t mean a damn thing, as nothing is done to balance the scale, in a karmic sense, especially for whatever creature or person that was the victim of the cruelty. The only act that would mean anything would be for the perpetrator to use the experience to motivate them to two things….

One, to try to repair whatever hurt or pain they have caused another creature…. man, animal, doesn’t matter…. They don’t deserve to be victimized, no matter their form, and ALL one can do, to fix any harm they have caused, is the least they should do…. Second, use the experience as motivation to make a change in themselves, to act with greater understanding, greater compassion, and greater control over themselves and their feelings…. which is what guilt is all about, right?…. The difference is that, when one confesses to a priest, and receives absolution, there is no motivation to make any changes in their actions…. They know none is necessary, since they can relieve themselves of any guilt they may feel by confessing…. so, why bother?

On the other hand, when one assumes the responsibility for their own actions, the guilt doesn’t go away…. I will never forgive myself for some of the things that I’ve done in my life (nor will I share them in any attempt to gain forgiveness from anyone else…. it’s none of their fucking business….)(Besides, that whole confessional thing just sounds too much like a blackmail scheme…. the people who confess are sure putting their fate trustingly into the hands of those priests, aren’t they?). That simple fact is what keeps me from falling into the same ethical trap I did when I lost my cool, and acted without thinking,  or took my feelings out on innocent bystanders….. Not going to happen again, a sentiment which, I’m sure, is NOT what you can expect from any religicos after confession….

You will note that there are no pearls associated with this discussion…. That’s because I am such an asshole, none were needed to stimulate me into spilling my guts, so to speak…. Besides, I couldn’t find a proper pearl for the beginning of such a somber subject by the time I was ready to write about it…. But, Murphy must have liked the way I dissed myself, because, hunting for an appropriate closer, afterward, I found these two, which, together, make a grand finishing touch for this subject…. Think of them as bookends….

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.” — J. C. Watts

Boy, that hits the nail on the head, doesn’t it?…..    I’ve got these two quotes reversed in the order in which they make the most sense, but, given the state of things here, that isn’t surprising, is it…. This is the one that probably should go at the front of this piece, so, just put it there in your mind, okay? Thanks….. (Note from 2014: Actually, you may, or even should, ignore all of these final comments about pearls, as they are currently out of context, given the fact the pearl that now graces the front of this discussion is so perfectly suitable….)

“We tell lies when we are afraid, . . . afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” — Tad Williams, Spoken by Dr. Morgenes, To Green Angel Tower (part of — Memory, Sorrow and Thorn)

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Comedy_Tragedy

    This is an older poem of mine, about an old friend of mine, my constant companion, pain…. It’s one of many, I’m afraid….

Denial of Comfort

Baleful chairs become the enemy, heralded in red
seemingly welcome softness beckons with a smile,
waiting, content with slaughter, they are finally led
screaming in agony, deluged in venom all the while.

Desperate distraction becomes such a friendless fire
for all the patterns of autumn’s pale dismay,
leaving sincerely latent trails in spirals of twisted wire,
while memory insists, again, upon failure, palpably evil, and fey.

Fat, jaded tears would have fallen in good time,
if only the suitable suitor had scaled the garden’s wall.
Credence for discounted prices luckily in their prime
bring only fascinated eyes into such a hallowed hall.

Searching for answers is ever a clever portrayal
with studious accouterments to fulfill each common rule.
Arguably patient pictures of science and honest betrayal
shall evermore languish, in light of passion so elegantly cruel.

~~ gigoid ~~

9/6/2012


********************************

Morning muse

    I don’t know, so, please, don’t ask. It’s just the way it came out, so, deal with it as if it were actually a real pearl…. It’s all I can suggest….

`The time has come,’ the walrus said, `to talk of many things.
 Of shoes – of ships – of sealing wax, of cabbages and kings.
 And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.’

~~ Lewis Carroll  ~~

~~ The Walrus and the Carpenter, from Alice Through the Looking Glass ~~


“By space the universe encompasses and swallows me up like a dot; by thought I encompass the Universe.” — Pascal, Pensees, n. 265

“Certainly the game is rigged. Don’t let that stop you; if you don’t bet, you can’t win.” — Lazarus Long

“A wise man first determines what is within his control; all else is then irrelevant.” — Epictetus

“You should hammer your iron when it is glowing hot.” — Publius Syrus — Maxim 262

“The great consolation in life is to say precisely what one thinks.” — Voltaire

“And that’s the way it is…” — Walter Cronkite

“‘Scuze me while I kiss the sky…” — Jimi Hendrix, Purple Haze

“Bert? Are you awake Bert?” — Ernie

********************************

Well, it’s done, and that’s the best I can say of it. Moreover, I won’t try to make any excuses or apologies. I’ll just go now, and try to do better tomorrow, should that prove possible, or even imaginable. So be it. See y’all then, should I live through the day & night…. Odds are good….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest Carole, Mark,Theresa, & Richy
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.

gigoid, the dubious

The *only* duly authorized Computer Curmudgeon.

PLEASE STOP READING THIS MESSAGE NOW.

“SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!”- Oscar the Grouch


À bientôt, mon cherí….

We’ve got two words for you, mister…. Puff Paste….

Ffolkes,

I find myself immediately in White Rabbit mode this morning, having slept over eight hours again, not arising until AFTER the coffee machine had gone off at its pre-set time, a time I generally beat by a good hour each day. This morning, I find myself just beginning this process after 5 AM, which is VERY late, for me….

Ah well, such is life, at least, as we know it…. consistency is only present in Nature in predictable ways. The sun comes up pretty consistently, and there are a few other universal factors of existence, (Death, taxes, etc.), we can count on to happen on a regular basis like that. Otherwise, it’s a crap shoot, ffolkes, so most of us get used to not finding things exactly as we left them the last time we dealt with them….

We humans even have a word for that, to wit: entropy, which, loosely defined tells us, “Things fall apart”…. which phrase, by the way, is the title of a very good little book, by a young African author, named Chinua Achebe…. It is considered one of the best English language books about Africa, used in many colleges to exemplify the genre…

The story, about an Igbo tribesman in central Africa, is one that gives us a very good understanding of this principle, (entropy), and how it affects our lives, and our relationships with others in society, as we all try to cope with this basic flaw in the design of our universe…

Of course, it is only a flaw to our way of thinking…. None of the other inhabitants of this plane of existence seem to have a lot of trouble dealing with this particular aspect of reality; they just shrug their equivalent of shoulders, and soldier on, going on to whatever the next thing the universe presents to them for their perception, and their experience….

Not that the universe cares or anything, but, it does make it pretty well impossible to avoid dealing with the iconic forces of chaos, with glaring examples at every turn to remind us of how fragile is our perceptive model, and how often it must be amended with codicils or changes to our attitudes.

All of which, of course, has nothing at all to do with this Pearl…. it’s simply another attempt to draw your attention away from what we are doing here behind the curtain, and to give y’all good reason to come on in, settle down in one of our comfortable seats, order up an adult beverage, and say goodbye to irrationality, as we take off on another exploration of this planet and all its wonders…. I don’t think it would be wise to tell you how the plane runs, or where, exactly, it will take us…. all of that is subject to change at an instant’s notice, anyway…. This is CONSENSUAL REALITY, you know, not some cheap imitation…

That having been said, for what is is worth, (and no snickering from the back rows….), we’ll get on with this, to settle down the nerves of our White Rabbit, so he, too, may enjoy the ride….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“Assess the advantages of taking advice, then structure your forces accordingly, to supplement extraordinary tactics. Forces are to be structured strategically, based on what is advantageous.” — Sun Tzu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Following this instructive, ethically stimulating quote by Lazarus, which immediately follows this paragraph, you will find a discussion of ethics and/or morality, with a short little foray into religious philosophy, from the standpoint of my own personal philosophy, much of which is based on the concept(s) involved in understanding, and, equally importantly, accepting the principle whereof Lazarus speaks, to wit: “duty”. 

Making one’s chosen “duty” a part of one’s life demands a certain degree of honesty, as well as the courage to apply that honesty to one’s own actions, thereby accepting responsibility for them; this attitude is not one I have found to be common to the philosophies of any the religions I have studied….. When the discussion was first posted, no pearls were associated, until the end, but, this one is the perfect lead to what follows….

“Do not confuse ‘duty’ with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.” — Lazarus Long

From 2/12/13:

I am an asshole. A jerk. A prick. A foul-mouthed, misbegotten excuse for a human being…. I, as is true of virtually all seven billion of my peers on this planet, am nothing more than a hypocrite, deserving of eternal residence in the lowest pits of hell for my perfidy….. What, you might ask, prompted this viciously personal outburst of self-denigration? Well, let me tell you….

Most of us, at some point or another, sit down from time to time to think about our actions, those we are considering, and those we have acted out in the past, to get some perspective on how those actions have conformed to our ethical and moral beliefs. In other words, we sit in self-judgment; whether we do so to praise or to chastise doesn’t matter, ultimately, as long as it is an honest appraisal, and we do not flinch from owning up to our baseness where it is found…..

This is why I am forced to curse myself…. Because I’m not a Catholic,  or any other faith that espouses such mummery, (I don’t mean to pick on Catholics…. some of my best friends, etc…..  😆  ….. They’re just an example everyone recognizes, and can relate to as similar to their own….)….  Any who, because I’m not of that Tribe, I don’t have the luxury of confessing to a priest, who would then reassure me that I am still one of the Chosen Ones, and send me on my way having learned nothing but a false sense of entitlement.

I can’t just pass off what I may have done in my life to some faceless butthead in a dress, who, no doubt, has a great laugh at the expense of the penitent, when he and the other priests get together in the rectory for a few drinks, passing around all the latest tall tales and outtakes from the confessional booth…..

I consider myself to be a morally upright person, and hope that my actions reflect that. But, I know for certain that, like every other human being who ever lived, I don’t always live up to those moral beliefs, and fall from grace on occasion…. If I were a less honest man, I’d say that there were mitigating, or at least explanatory reasons for my failures to hold to my own standards, but, if I tried that, my Dad would kick my ass from now until Thursday the next time I see him, so I’m not going to take that chance…. I take full responsibility for my actions, base and cruel as they were, and no one can hold me in lower regard than I do….

I had considered using this venue as a confessional, to air out my transgressions on the stage of reality, but, I don’t think that would be any more ethical than confessing to a priest…. Confession may make a difference to the penitent, by absolving him/her from any lingering guilt that could adversely affect them (i.e., they feel better about themselves after receiving absolution…), but, in truth, it doesn’t mean a damn thing, as nothing is done to balance the scale, in a karmic sense, especially for whatever creature or person that was the victim of the cruelty. The only act that would mean anything would be for the perpetrator to use the experience to motivate them to two things….

One, to try to repair whatever hurt or pain they have caused another creature…. man, animal, doesn’t matter…. They don’t deserve to be victimized, no matter their form, and ALL one can do, to fix any harm they have caused, is the least they should do….

Second, use the experience as motivation to make a change in themselves, to act with greater understanding, greater compassion, and greater control over themselves and their feelings…. which is what guilt is all about, right?….

The difference is that, when one confesses to a priest, and receives absolution, there is no motivation to make any changes in their actions…. They know none is necessary, since they can relieve themselves of any guilt they may feel by confessing…. so, why bother?

On the other hand, when one assumes the responsibility for their own actions, the guilt doesn’t go away…. I will never forgive myself for some of the things that I’ve done in my life (nor will I share them in any attempt to gain forgiveness from anyone else…. it’s none of their fucking business….)

(Besides, that whole confessional thing just sounds too much like a blackmail scheme…. the people who confess are sure putting their fate trustingly into the hands of those priests, aren’t they?). That simple fact is what keeps me from falling into the same ethical trap I did when I lost my cool, and acted without thinking,  or took my feelings out on innocent bystanders….. Not going to happen again, a sentiment which, I’m sure, is NOT what you can expect from any religicos after confession….

You will note that there are no pearls associated with this discussion…. That’s because I am such an asshole, none were needed to stimulate me into spilling my guts, so to speak…. Besides, I couldn’t find a proper pearl for the beginning of such a somber subject by the time I was ready to write about it…. But, Murphy must have liked the way I dissed myself, because, hunting for an appropriate closer, afterward, I found these two, which, together, make a grand finishing touch for this subject…. Think of them as bookends….

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.” — J. C. Watts

Boy, that hits the nail on the head, doesn’t it?…..    I’ve got these two quotes reversed in the order in which they make the most sense, but, given the state of things here, that isn’t surprising, is it?…. This is the one that probably should go at the front of this piece, so, just put it there in your mind, okay? Thanks….. (Note from 2014: Actually, you may, or even should, ignore all of these final comments on the care and placement of pearls, as they are currently out of context, all because the pearl that now graces the front of this discussion is so perfectly suitable….)

“We tell lies when we are afraid, . . . afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” — Tad Williams, Spoken by Dr. Morgenes, To Green Angel Tower (part of — Memory, Sorrow and Thorn)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again, to save others from embarrassment or guilt by association, here is another of my old poems, which, sort of, fits in with today’s elusive theme….

Fine and Good, Good and Fine

A pig in a poke’s got nothing on me,
cuz I’m as confused as a man can be.
This ol’ world’s got me spinnin’ around
cussin’ and spittin’, a penny for a pound.

Forty ‘leven times since I was a kid, well,
I’ve fallen in love, ‘least too close to tell.
Every damn time, it all went to crap,
Forty ‘leven times I’ve felt like a sap.

‘Course, each time it happens, I forget the last;
why not? I’m havin’ such a blast….
Livin’ in each moment, filled with joie de vivre,
’til it’s all gone away again, nothin’ left up my sleeve.

Don’t want y’all to think I’m sad or blue,
life’s full of sorrow, lots for me, and/or you..
T’other side of that coin, we can be glad,
is joyful love, and that ain’t at all bad.

My road’s been littered with parts o’my heart,
each one colored with trust, which ain’t always smart.
Yet, long as I don’t lose my connection to joy,
I’ll find my own true love, and be a happy boy.

It’s been some kinda fun, even when I’d take a fall,
and doin’ it over makes no sense at all, at all
Day after day, I keep on keepin’ on, as it’s said;
Guess I’ll keep on doin’ that ’til I’m dead.

‘Nuff said….

~~ gigoid ~~

….with tongue lodged firmly in cheek….


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most days, even if running this late, I would put an old-school pearl here, just to maintain the structure for these Pearls that I think works the best…. Today, though, I just happen to have an archived pearl, somewhat old school, lifted from a Pearl posted back in ‘Aught Twelve’…. I think it’s pretty good, and so do you….

From 10/21/12:

I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.

— Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) — Just So Stories (1902) “The Elephant’s Child”

I first read the phrase “feeding the Elephant’s Child” in a Robert Heinlein novel, many years ago, and enjoyed it as a metaphor for reading/learning, before I knew from whence it originally came. Once I did know (a moment of illumination whose exact placement in time is hazy….), I liked it even more, from an aesthetic standpoint.

The above little ditty, from our old friend Rudyard, is brilliant doggerel, astute observation, and deep insight, all presented in a simple, straightforward style, with a powerful, basic lesson for any would-be philosopher, or any one who wishes to encompass reason as their modus operandi, so to speak. Besides which, I find that another piece of Bob’s advice fits well with this one, to wit: “Life tastes better in big bites….”

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.” — P. J. O’Rourke

I like this, a lot. It summarizes perhaps one of the most elemental rules of getting along in the Universe, in essence saying, “You can learn a lot by watching what happens around you…” It is the perfect companion to the concept of learning as presented above, as it contrives to speak to both sides of Reality, i.e., how you approach reality (the clothing you choose to show to the cat….) and how reality will change to react to your approach (the cat’s opinion of your clothing….)

It also gives one a subtle warning about how the wrong clothing can produce unwanted consequences, and we all know how an offended cat is likely to respond…. as Mark Twain once remarked…. “A man who carries a cat by the tail is learning valuable things. He will never again be dim or doubtful. Chances are he’ll not carry the cat that way again, but, I say, if he wants to, let him!”  You can’t say fairer than that….

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” — Buddha

One can always trust the Buddha to state the most profound thoughts in the simplest way…. I often wonder how he came to such a complete understanding of Murphy, whose presence is acknowledged in all of what the Buddha stated, but whose ministrations seem to have passed by the Buddha’s existence…. either that, or Murphy shows him a lot more respect than he does anyone else alive.

At times, it seems that what the Buddha states, such as in this statement, is, in at least one respect, an answer to a question that is raised when Murphy intervenes in our lives…. in simpler words, he explains why Murphy is able to affect us as he does, by cutting through the bullshite we perceive, to the truth of what is real….. SIGH…. one of these days, enlightenment will slap me upside the head, and I’ll be able to see Murphy coming…. I hope…

There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.” — Bob Dylan

Often I feel as if not only is life a joke, but it is our duty and purpose on this plane of existence to codify that joke, to put it down on paper, or on screen/disc, to free ourselves from the prison of sobriety, achieving an understanding that everything in this silly universe is here for our amusement, and we have been taking it, and ourselves, seriously for entirely too long…..

So seriously, we have begun to offend those parts of the universe that just want us to relax and enjoy ourselves, and the time is growing nearer when we will have to admit that the joke is on us, for not being able to change our inner selves enough to be able to handle the humor of our situation…. See, the universe thinks death is funny…. not because it is cruel, but because death is just another part of life, and it doesn’t care about one more than the other…. See, now, isn’t it funny how you never noticed that?…..

I once read a science fiction novel, whose title and author escape me completely; in all it was very poorly written, with prose that did not live up to the good ideas contained in the plot line. However, it was a great plot line, in all….Specifically, there was one chapter I liked, which had a super-genius taking on the task of finding the solution to a mathematical treatise, an equation so complex and advanced that no civilization in the galaxy had ever been able to completely solve it.

The genius/hero of the book shut himself up in his room for three weeks, working on the problem. At the end, he was thinking so hard he entered a trance-like state, computing while nearly dead…. after a week of this, he suddenly opened his eyes, gave a look of astonishment, and burst into uncontrollable laughter for approximately 25 minutes. When he could finally control himself, he simply said, “It’s a joke….” and would never discuss it again….

In a pearl such as this one has grown to be, there comes a time when I have to decide whether to continue on, to try to reach the conclusion that was nebulously hovering somewhere in my mind as I began, or to admit that I have once again wandered into uncharted territory, and might find it a bit tricky to find my way back to clarity.

This is that time…. and I’m leaving it up to Smart Bee, as always…. If I don’t find a proper pearl to carry on the tenuous chain of thought I’ve created, then we’ll take the first one that will appropriately wrap it up as a lost cause….. all within a specified number of attempts…. so, here we go… You’ll know in a moment what will happen….

“In a word, neither death, nor exile, nor pain, nor anything of this kind is the real cause of our doing or not doing any action, but our inward opinions and principles.” — Epictetus (c. 60 AD) — Discourses, Book i, Chap xi

There, see?…. That didn’t take long at all…. and I managed to find the perfect pearl to cover both bases…. In this case, we will use it as an ending quote, since it sort of summarizes a lot of the discussion, after a fashion. It could conceivably also be used as a springboard for further discussion, but this has gone on long enough, and I wouldn’t want to lose anybody due to an injudicious application of excess verbiage, culminating in tedium…. Of course, we may have reached that point some time ago, but, hey, who’s counting?…. Any who, I hope you enjoyed this little foray into not very much….

🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have no excuses, nor apologies, at all…. I have succumbed to the dictates of chosen duty, and done the best I can do to make this an acceptable member of a long line of decently written outbursts of personal angst.

Personally, I think it’s not bad, but, I’m probably not the most appropriate judge of that…. and since nobody has suggested I cease and desist, I’ll keep on keepin’ on, for as long as the impulse to write remains strong and fresh….

Y’all can take that any way you like, as either a promise, or a threat…. either way, it’s true, and I’m outta here for another day…. See ya, ffolkes….

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
   and sometimes,
I just sits.
gigoid the dubious

dozer3

To my best knowledge, common sense says we run away, fast…..

Ffolkes,

Yesterday’s fog of pain has been dispelled, and this morning’s outlook on life is much improved, thankfully…. The application of copious quantities of heavy drugs has done the trick once more, and I am freed from the prison of pain, to march forth once more into the world, unbowed, and unafraid, to take up the gauntlet as thrown by those in power in our society, to bring my unique viewpoint, to join in the ongoing quest to find EVEN A LITTLE bloody common sense in the world…. This may sound as if I’m writing to make the title come true, but, no, it’s just what struck me, smack! right upside the head, as I sat to compose today’s missive….

I’ve learned, over the past two+ years, to allow my mind a bit of free rein, at the outset of each Pearl, to make the opening lines compelling, or at least, engaging…. I can’t say that it’s a particularly successful technique, but, it gets me going, as a general rule, so it suffices, and I am content with it, for the nonce…

You see, the biggest trouble in writing every day isn’t coming up with stuff to write about, it’s the little details, such as an engaging opening, or a cheerful closing, that will bring a reader back again, that determine the quality of a blog…. Well, that’s how I see it, anyway, and on this site, that’s all that really matters…. Out in the BBR, to try to balance the scales, I try NOT to be too egotistical, or assume too many prerogatives; the general sense of entitlement that MOST folks feel isn’t something I care to emulate…. But, here at ECR, it’s all MINE, and I can do with it as I wish….

That doesn’t mean I’m not aware of y’all, or that there may be times when I want to cater to public viewpoints…. More often, I just ignore what may be cute, or acceptable, and go for a poke in the eye, so don’t expect a lot of leeway in that…. Ffolkes who read my blog need to remember to put on their thinking caps, and be ready to heat them up; I’m not going to suffer fools any more than is absolutely necessary…. It’s a waste of my time, and tends to annoy me when I do, so, I’d rather just lay it out there, and let ffolkes deal with what I have to say, and not worry too much (or at all, for that matter….) about how people will react to it….. In other words, gigoid has spoken…. so be it…

Now, how did we get there? Boy, sometimes I’m not sure if there’s actually anyone driving this bus…. I find myself, all too often, starting off to write in one direction, then, in mid-paragraph, I’ll find myself 4 or 5 degrees away from whatever concept began the train of thought, into a completely different set of issues and/or ideas, with little connection to where it began…. SIGH….

I can’t say it’s a gift, but, it’s not exactly a curse, either, as it sometimes puts me right where I needed to go, whether I knew it or not…. Sort of a Zen cowboy sort of philosophizing technique, you know? Ah well, such is life in a daily blog…. What the hell, let’s get on with it….

Shall we Pearl?…..

“To spell out the obvious is often to call it in question” — Hoffer
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While cruising through old Pearls, I found this little diatribe from early last year…. I think it’s appropriate for today’s beginning section, as it remains as valid today as the day I wrote it….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From February 2013:

I am an asshole. A jerk. A prick. A foul-mouthed, misbegotten excuse for a human being…. I am, as with most of my peers, a hypocrite, and deserving of permanent sentencing to the lowest pits of hell for my perfidy….. What, you might ask, prompted this outburst of severe, seemingly sincere self-denigration? Well, let me tell you….

Most of us, at some point or another, sit down from time to time to think about our actions, those we are considering, and those we have acted out in the past, to get some perspective on how those actions have conformed to our ethical and moral beliefs. In other words, we sit in self-judgment; whether we do so to praise or to chastise doesn’t matter, ultimately, as long as it is an honest appraisal, and we do not flinch from owning up to our baseness where it is found…..

This is why I am forced to curse myself…. Because I’m not a Catholic,  or any other faith that espouses such mummery, (I don’t mean to pick on Catholics…. some of my best friends, etc…..  🙂  They’re just an example everyone knows about….)….  Any who, because I’m not of that Tribe, I don’t have the luxury of confessing to a priest, who would then reassure me that I am still one of the Chosen Ones, and send me on my way having learned nothing but a false sense of entitlement. I can’t just pass off what I may have done in my life to some faceless butthead in a dress, who, no doubt, has a great laugh at the expense of the penitent, when he and the other priests get together in the rectory for a few drinks, passing around all the latest tall tales and outtakes from the confessional booth…..

I consider myself to be a morally upright person, and hope that my actions reflect that. But, I know for certain that, like every other human being who ever lived, I don’t always live up to those moral beliefs, and fall from grace on occasion…. If I were a less honest man, I’d say that there were mitigating, or at least explanatory reasons for my failures to hold to my own standards, but, if I tried that, my Dad would kick my ass from now until Thursday the next time I see him, so I’m not going to take that chance…. I take full responsibility for my actions, base and cruel as they were, and no one can hold me in lower regard than I do….

I had considered using this venue as a confessional, to air out my transgressions on the stage of reality, but, I don’t think that would be any more ethical than confessing to a priest…. Confession may make a difference to the penitent, by absolving him/her from any lingering guilt that could adversely affect them (i.e., they feel better about themselves after receiving absolution…), but, in truth, it doesn’t mean a damn thing, as nothing is done to balance the scale, in a karmic sense, especially for whatever creature or person that was the victim of the cruelty. The only act that would mean anything would be for the perpetrator to use the experience to motivate them to two things….

One, to try to repair whatever hurt or pain they have caused another creature…. man, animal, doesn’t matter…. They don’t deserve to be victimized, no matter their form, and ALL one can do, to fix any harm they have caused, is the least they should do…. Second, use the experience as motivation to make a change in themselves, to act with greater understanding, greater compassion, and greater control over themselves and their feelings…. which is what guilt is all about, right?…. The difference is that, when one confesses to a priest, and receives absolution, then there is no motivation to make any changes in their actions…. They know that none is necessary;they can relieve themselves of any guilt they may feel by confessing, so why bother?

On the other hand, when one assumes the responsibility for their own actions, the guilt doesn’t go away…. I will never forgive myself for some of the things that I’ve done in my life (nor will I share them in any attempt to gain forgiveness from anyone else…. it’s none of their fucking business….)(Besides, that whole confessional thing just sounds too much like a blackmail scheme…. the people who confess are sure putting their fate trustingly into the hands of those priests, aren’t they?). That simple fact is what keeps me from falling into the same ethical trap I did when I lost my cool, and acted without thinking,  or took my feelings out on innocent bystanders….. Not going to happen again, a sentiment which, I’m sure, is NOT what you can expect from any confessors, after a confession….

You will note that there are no pearls associated with this discussion…. That’s because I am such an asshole, none was needed to stimulate me into spilling my guts, so to speak…. Besides, I couldn’t find a proper pearl for the beginning of such a somber subject by the time I was ready to write about it…. But, Murphy must have enjoyed the way I dissed myself, because I found these two, which, together, make a good closer for this subject…. Think of them as bookends….

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.” — J. C. Watts

Boy, that hits the nail on the head, doesn’t it?…..    I’ve got these two quotes reversed in the order in which they make the most sense, but, given the state of things here, that isn’t surprising, is it…. This is the one that probably should go at the front of this piece, so, just put it there in your mind, okay? Thanks…..

“We tell lies when we are afraid, . . . afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” — Tad Williams, Spoken by Dr. Morgenes, To Green Angel Tower (part of — Memory, Sorrow and Thorn)
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Today’s poem is one I might have used in the past, but, I don’t care….. It’s so good, here ’tis again…..

Finisterre

This was the land’s end: the last fingers, knuckled and rheumatic,
Cramped on nothing. Black
Admonitory cliffs, and the sea exploding
With no bottom, or anything on the other side of it,
Whitened by the faces of the drowned.
Now it is only gloomy, a dump of rocks —-
Leftover soldiers from old, messy wars.
The sea cannons into their ear, but they don’t budge.
Other rocks hide their grudges under the water.

The cliffs are edged with trefoils, stars and bells
Such as fingers might embroider, close to death,
Almost too small for the mists to bother with.
The mists are part of the ancient paraphernalia —-
Souls, rolled in the doom-noise of the sea.
They bruise the rocks out of existence, then resurrect them.
They go up without hope, like sighs.
I walk among them, and they stuff my mouth with cotton.
When they free me, I am beaded with tears.

Our Lady of the Shipwrecked is striding toward the horizon,
Her marble skirts blown back in two pink wings.
A marble sailor kneels at her foot distractedly, and at his foot
A peasant woman in black
Is praying to the monument of the sailor praying.
Our Lady of the Shipwrecked is three times life size,
Her lips sweet with divinity.
She does not hear what the sailor or the peasant is saying —-
She is in love with the beautiful formlessness of the sea.

Gull-colored laces flap in the sea drafts
Beside the postcard stalls.
The peasants anchor them with conches. One is told:
“These are the pretty trinkets the sea hides,
Little shells made up into necklaces and toy ladies.
They do not come from the Bay of the Dead down there,
But from another place, tropical and blue,
We have never been to.
These are our crêpes. Eat them before they blow cold.”

~~ Sylvia Plath ~~

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This pearl will be displayed in the new format I’ve been working on as a change of scene around here…. These are headlines from SFGATE, a news web site I use as an average news collector, as it tends to display a fairly even grouping of the world’s and nation’s news, without TOO much bias, though certainly not without any…. The headlines I’ve included below, viewed as a big picture, are, as we can see, downright fucking crazy in how they portray the insanity so prevalent in today’s society…. Here then are more indications we are currently living through Heinlein’s “Crazy Years” here in America…. My comments, as always, are parenthesized for clarity….

http://blog.sfgate.com/energy/2014/02/07/tesla-driver-blames-fatal-crash-on-new-car-smell/

(I’m pretty sure I don’t need to make too many comments about this guy, or about how typically asinine he is, in as he cluelessly exhibits not only his selfishness, but, also his stupidity in public, without any idea of how ridiculous he sounds or appears to others….. “New car smell?” As the justification for running over a pedestrian? I suppose, in one way, it’s a perfect example of both the corruption so prevalent, and of the lack of any sort of system of ethics at play, in the lawyers who took the case to bring suit, as well as in the sense of entitlement that the average American asshole feels, to think that they can escape any consequences for their actions by finding a loophole in a law, or some weird psychiatric justification for acts that were at best, stupid, and at worst, deliberately, carelessly, and, feloniously, ignorant….)

http://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/Elderly-woman-slain-in-Oakland-home-invasion-5215511.php

(Again, no comment is necessary to make any clearer how sick our society has become, when there are people in the world who can actually perform these kinds of acts, without any compassion, or any connection to how another person feels…. I didn’t read the article, as I’ve seen its like too often to need to put myself through that again… I already know, having dealt with them for many years, the depths to which the human psyche can sink in its pain and reaction to a lifetime of abuse by the world…. It still doesn’t excuse any of it, or justify it, to understand why it happens…. But, it sure does make me want to go out, buy a gun, and start picking off some of the names, on my own personal list of those the world would be better off without….)

http://www.sfgate.com/sports/article/Russian-TV-shows-doctored-video-of-Olympic-rings-5214936.php

(More comedy from Russia and their current dictator, Vlad “Glad Impaler” Putin, trying to convince the world that hey, nothing wrong here, move along, nothing to see…. when, in fact, almost everything the world is seeing in Sochi points up another issue that the Soviet government has screwed up in its repressive attempts to maintain the status quo….. which, after all, is the ultimate purpose of any dictatorship, or essentially fascist government…. or ANY government, for that matter…. Democratic, Republic, Monarchic, no matter what form government takes, its bottom line priority is to maintain the status quo, to ensure the people stay out of the government’s way as they plunder, steal, and cheat…. The video to which the article refers is merely the latest symptom that shows exactly how the world’s society at large, and, Russian society in particular, is falling apart at the seams…..)

http://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/article/SAC-Capital-ex-trader-convicted-of-insider-trading-5211174.php

(Whoops, gosh, look here! A stock trader cheated! A bank(er) was involved, a large, shadowy, amorphous corporation was involved, a government agency screwed up their job, a rich businessman profited, and the poor scapegoat is the only one to go to jail…. Have we seen this story before? Isn’t this a rather familiar scenario over the last, oh, 120 years or so? Why, yes, yes, I believe that’s so…. I can remember seeing stories exactly like this one 50 years ago, back in the 50’s and 60’s, as well as many from history that would be classed as clones of this one…. But, the media has to present each one as if it is some sort of big surprise…. SIGH…. It’s almost too easy for me, when they act this stupid….)

http://blog.sfgate.com/nov05election/2014/02/07/senate-judiciary-republicans-blame-a-lawyer-adegbile-for-a-client-abu-jamal/

(Oh, right, this one…. This is SO STUPID!!!! So stupid, it caused me to go momentarily insane, with my fingers flashing out four exclamation points without conscious control, just to vent my frustration…. You know, it’s completely possible that commenting on this story could turn into a rant….

The Republican Party has become a conglomeration of some of the stupidest, most hidebound fools I’ve ever witnessed, even in American politics, and remember…. I was there when we had both Spiro Agnew and Richard Nixon to push around, so, I KNOW about corrupt, greedy, amoral politicians….. This current group in the House, and the Senate, as well as spread throughout all the state’s houses of political machinery (chicanery?), are among the stupidest and most viciously ignorant that I’ve ever seen….

This particular set of idiots involved in this article are perhaps some of the most egregiously ignorant of the lot, and show the extent of how much the conservative mind has turned to mush over time, especially when dealing with issues that are, essentially, non-partisan in nature…. It seems to me that finding the most balanced people to be judges, or attorney general types, would benefit BOTH sides, more so than choosing biased people, who only make things worse for everyone…. Of course, I’m not stupid, I have no investment in pursuing my own agenda in this issue, nor do I desire to use the issue for any political gain, so, perhaps that would color my perceptions…. I certainly hope so….

Please note, I am certain, and have seen proof of the fact, that the Democrats are no brighter, in toto, or even, on average, but, somehow, they don’t seem to publicly stick their foot in it quite so frequently as the GOP pundits. I can’t blame the media for that, entirely, as they obviously have no more claim to intelligent design in their actions than do the politicians. Each of the political parties that dominate this country’s bureaucracy (it long ago ceased to function as anything else….) feels the media favors the other; that’s a typical reaction for a creature that suffers from paranoia, and the political scenario attracts schizophrenics like flowers draw bees…. (Actually, it would be more accurate to say that politics attracts the psychopathically insane like shit draws flies….. but, I won’t say that….) (Oh…. whoops….)

Nonetheless, it seems to me that BOTH of the parties that are currently ensconced in the halls of Congress in Washington have been taken over by a bunch of really, really selfish, more than stupid in their deliberate ignorance, rich, white, old men, with the random woman, African-American, Asian-American, and Latin-American tokens there to provide proof of our “diversity”…. No overt LGBT’s yet, publicly….

The funny thing about those politicians of color or gender…. when they talk, they SOUND EXACTLY like a rich, white, stupid old man, no matter whether they are young, female, black, yellow, or brown…. Next time Ted Cruz puts out a sound bite on TV, close your eyes and listen…. He will not be distinguishable from any of his peers…. Note also, the terms to describe the token members of Congress deliberately set them apart as being ‘different’ Americans than the others, don’t they? They sure do, and that’s just fine with the old white dudes, as if provides camouflage for their inherent racism and bigotry, making them appear as if they welcome the input from those parts of society THEY DON’T REALIZE ARE NOW THE MAJORITY!…..

It’s too bad, really, and frustrating for those of us who can understand what is going on…. Intelligence is the only factor in our makeup that enhances our chances to survive, especially in the oncoming crisis in the environment of our planet…. These idiots are continually, and continuously, displaying behavior that is counter-productive to that survival…. and they don’t even have the wit to know it. In fact, most of them are so insanely wrapped up in pursuing their own agenda they refuse to even listen to anything that doesn’t fit in with their own preconceived misconceptions….. Idiots, every one of them….

Okay, that’s enough…. I could conceivably spend a very long time at this…. I’ve got a long litany of complaints about government, and those who indulge in that particular vice…. But, I’m getting worked up, and that’s making me tense, and that makes my back hurt…. So, for my health, I’m calling a halt to this rant…. (For my health…. right…. Can you see my skeptical expression?….) Since the entire rant, short as it may be, is in parentheses, I can do that without any permits, or even any hand signals….

gigoid has spoken…. So be it…..)

“When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people.” — Seneca

Well, you know what they say…. Ignorance is bliss…..
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Well, this Pearl turned into an epic…. and high time, too, if I say so myself….. That’s a joke….   😆

I’ve noted very light traffic of late on my site, so it’s fortunate I don’t really care one way or the other about the size of my readership…. I kind of hope this one gets some traffic, though, as it says some stuff that would be good for most Americans to hear, whether they want to or not….

That said, let me thank all my regular readers, people I consider as friends now after a long time of exchanged information, and shared emotion…. that’s part of friendship, right? Right…. Any who, I’m happy you’re my friends, (both of you…) (Joke….),   🙄   

I do hope all who read what I write enjoy it, and are inspired to use their own “little grey cells” for more than just finding food and shelter…. But, then, I also wish for world peace, so, I’m accustomed to having my wishes denied by reality…. SIGH…..    See ya…..

Y’all take care out there,
and May the Metaphorse be with you;
Blessed Be, dearest  Carole, Mark, and Theresa…
and everyone else, too…

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Apply the absinthe as an ointment….

Ffolkes,
Some mornings, just listening to the coffee brew, smelling that wonderful aroma, as it turns itself into the nectar we crave, is sufficient to soothe the savage breast….. or, would be, were it not 0447 in the AM…. I guess I hit the rack a little early last night, as my eyes popped open, with obvious intent to stay that way, just a few moments ago, and forced me out of bed, somewhat less than breathlessly eager to start the day. Unsure as to whether or not I should piss or go blind, I shall proceed to do neither….

I think, in this instance, I’m going to drop back five yards, and punt….. an option I often forget to utilize. Modern football has lost its class, for the most part, having long ago forfeited any such claim for the excitement of outright savagery, so the strategic advantage of such a play is lost on most students of today’s game. But, it can still go a long way toward improving one’s field position, especially if trapped on one’s own end of the playing field.  I enjoy the look of surprise and consternation on Murphy’s face when I boot the ball over his head, sending him scrambling….. One of the few moments I spend with him that I can honestly say I enjoy….

There, that’s done…. I decided, since I was up so damn early, why not be efficient? So, in two short paragraphs, otherwise known as one swell foop, I have completed the morning’s quota of BS and nonsense, and mentioned Murphy. so he can’t say I didn’t give him his due, thereby filling two requirements with one intro…. In addition, it has created three entirely acceptable paragraphs of that intro section, which is practically the whole nine yards…. What a deal!….

Not only that, but in the process, I’ve managed to create enough space in my head to find my mojo. Yep, I just looked over, and there it was, all shiny and rested since my last use, when I got so carried away I….. well, I probably shouldn’t talk about it…. the statute of limitation hasn’t been reached yet…. But, never mind that…. now that I’ve got my mojo firmly tucked away in a pocket, we can go directly to work, and feel confident that, whatever happens, it will be for the best…. A bit naive, maybe, but no choice now but to cast off and set sail….. Shall we Pearl?….
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Within the oyster’s shell uncouth
The purest pearl may hide,
Trust me you’ll find a heart of truth
Within that rough inside.

— Mrs. Osgood

At last! It has been ages since I last saw this gem from Mrs. Osgood, whoever she is….. This, as is apparent, is my vision statement for this blog. In fact, it is the best statement I’ve seen, ever, to describe what a Pearl of Virtual Wisdom comprises, as it puts what is important, truth, right where it should be, covered and protected by a smooth surface of alabaster, surrounded by a crusty shell, so ugly it possesses an oddly beautiful strength. The only difference between a POVW and a real pearl then, is that only one of them can be held in your hand…. Otherwise, one is a metaphor for the other, interchangeable in the clever confines of our imagination….

Since I have been serendipitously rewarded for my search today by finding this, which I had misplaced, after a fashion (that means I forgot about it until just now, when I found it again….), I’ll take a moment here to give my disclaimer regarding those self-same Pearls…. to wit: Pearls of Virtual Wisdom are just that…. Virtual Wisdom. They are NOT real wisdom, and any attempt to use them as real wisdom is, well, a risky proposition at best….. The owner of this blog assumes no responsibility for any such misdirected folly, and will only apply first-aid as needed to maintain life signs until the arrival of professional medical personnel.

Okay, there…. sorry, but, you know how those bureaucrats are… Every once in a while I’m required to post that disclaimer, or they won’t renew my anti-irony insurance….. It’s a pain having to pay it…. I really don’t see much difference between insurance sold by corporations, and protection rackets run by organized criminal organizations…. Both are identical in outcome, i.e. you pay money to other people so they guarantee your safety from being robbed, but, only the former is legal…. I don’t understand fully why that is, because, as far as I can see, there isn’t any real difference.

If you pay the mob, then they don’t rob you themselves, so you are protecting yourself from them. With the bureaucrats, you pay them so you are allowed to remain in business, which, if you look at it, is exactly the same thing, but one shuts down the business by destroying the merchandise, the other by shutting the doors with lawsuits….. It’s just one more piece of evidence that government is nothing more than organized crime, only legal…..

Okay, that’s enough blathering…. I just wanted to share the poem with you, and take the opportunity to make sure that everyone who reads my stuff is aware of the delicate nature of its relevance to reality…. Remember, ffolkes, to take everything you see here with a grain of salt, or your favorite savory substance, or take it under advisement…. just take it, please….

“Why are these athletic shoe salesmen following me??” — Zippy the Pinhead
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Mirror

I am silver and exact.
I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful ‚
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.

~~ Sylvia Plath
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Chauvinism, confession, and guilt…..

I am an asshole. A jerk. A prick. A foul-mouthed, misbegotten excuse for a human being…. I am, as with most of my peers, a hypocrite, and deserving of permanent sentencing to the lowest pits of hell for my perfidy….. What, you might ask, prompted this outburst of self-denigration? Well, let me tell you….

Most of us, at some point or another, sit down from time to time to think about our actions, those we are considering, and those we have acted out in the past, to get some perspective on how those actions have conformed to our ethical and moral beliefs. In other words, we sit in self-judgment; whether we do so to praise or to chastise doesn’t matter, ultimately, as long as it is an honest appraisal, and we do not flinch from owning up to our baseness where it is found…..

This is why I am forced to curse myself…. Because I’m not a Catholic,  or any other faith that espouses such mummery, (I don’t mean to pick on Catholics…. some of my best friends, etc…..  🙂  They’re just the example everyone knows about….)….  Any who, because I’m not of that Tribe, I don’t have the luxury of confessing to a priest, who would then reassure me that I am still one of the Chosen Ones, and send me on my way having learned nothing but a false sense of entitlement. I can’t just pass off what I may have done in my life to some faceless butthead in a dress, who, no doubt, has a great laugh at the expense of the penitent, when he and the other priests get together in the rectory for a few drinks, passing around all the latest tall tales and outtakes from the confessional booth…..

I consider myself to be a morally upright person, and hope that my actions reflect that. But, I know for certain that, like every other human being who ever lived, I don’t always live up to those moral beliefs, and fall from grace on occasion…. If I were a less honest man, I’d say that there were mitigating, or at least explanatory reasons for my failures to hold to my own standards, but, if I tried that, my Dad would kick my ass from now until Thursday the next time I see him, so I’m not going to take that chance…. I take full responsibility for my actions, base and cruel as they were, and no one can hold me in lower regard than I do….

I had considered using this venue as a confessional, to air out my transgressions on the stage of reality, but, I don’t think that would be any more ethical than confessing to a priest…. Confession may make a difference to the penitent, by absolving him/her from any lingering guilt that could adversely affect them (i.e., they feel better about themselves after receiving absolution…), but, in truth, it doesn’t mean a damn thing, as nothing is done to balance the scale, in a karmic sense, especially for whatever creature or person that was the victim of the cruelty. The only act that would mean anything would be for the perpetrator to use the experience to motivate them to two things….

One, to try to repair whatever hurt or pain they have caused another creature…. man, animal, doesn’t matter…. They don’t deserve to be victimized, no matter their form, and ALL one can do, to fix any harm they have caused, is the least they should do…. Second, use the experience as motivation to make a change in themselves, to act with greater understanding, greater compassion, and greater control over themselves and their feelings…. which is what guilt is all about, right?…. The difference is that, when one confesses to a priest, and receives absolution; if the guilt is relieved, then there is no motivation to make any changes in their actions…. They know that none is necessary, as they can relieve themselves of any guilt they may feel by confessing, so why bother?

On the other hand, when one assumes the responsibility for their own actions, the guilt doesn’t go away…. I will never forgive myself for some of the things that I’ve done in my life (nor will I share them in any attempt to gain forgiveness from anyone else…. it’s none of their bloody business….)…. (Besides, that whole confessional thing just sounds too much like a blackmail scheme…. the people who confess are sure putting their fate trustingly into the hands of those priests, aren’t they?). That simple fact, of admitting and owning my guilt, is what keeps me from falling into the same ethical trap I did when I lost my cool, and acted without thinking,  or took my feelings out on innocent bystanders….. Not going to happen again, a sentiment which, I’m sure, is NOT what you can reasonably expect from any religicos after confession….

You will note that there are no pearls associated with this discussion…. That’s because I am such an asshole, none was needed to stimulate me into spilling my guts, so to speak…. Besides, I couldn’t find a proper pearl for the beginning of such a somber subject by the time I was ready to write about it…. But, Murphy must have liked the way I dissed myself, because I found these two, which, together, make a good closer for this subject…. Think of them as bookends….

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.” — J. C. Watts

Boy, that hits the nail on the head, doesn’t it?…..    I’ve got these two quotes reversed in the order in which they make the most sense, but, given the state of things here, that isn’t surprising, is it…. This is the one that probably should go at the front of this piece, so, just put it there in your mind, okay? Thanks…..

“We tell lies when we are afraid, . . . afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” — Tad Williams, Spoken by Dr. Morgenes, To Green Angel Tower (part of — Memory, Sorrow and Thorn)
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As I began today, so early, I had a moment of trepidation, thinking I might scare off my muse, but finding my mojo apparently made that a groundless fear, as I don’t seem to have found any lack of things to say…. More proof, I suppose, that I just can’t shut myself up….

Ah well, the path to sanity is littered with such misconceptions and folly, and rightly so…. I don’t need all these extra words floating around in my head, just looking for mischief to cause…. You take them, please….  🙂  I hope they bring you as much fun to read as they did for me to spew… er, write….

Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..


Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3