Ffolkes,
We’ve got Trouble, right here in River City, ffolkes….. Don’t worry, I won’t go all Robert Preston on you, and burst into song, or anything like that. I’m merely referring to the empty space here on the page, which, sadly, matches the empty space in my head, the space that SHOULD be composing an intro for today’s Pearl…. Extremely empty space, too…. So empty, I’m sitting here, writing about how empty it is, instead of looking around in the odd corners and niches in there, to find SOMETHING that would work to draw y’all in for the ride today…. but, I’m screwed, and the pooch knows it…. whatever that means….

Forgotten, old and grey, the ancient dogs march along the dusty street, searching for the possibility of food…. Scraggly weeds filled the cracks in the street; abandoned, stripped vehicles litter the sidewalks and alleys, many of them burned out, blackened and stark against the pale concrete of the buildings. Nothing moved, save the slowly searching pack of canines, not even rats, or any of the vermin usually seen in cities. No people walked the empty streets, and the silence bore down on everything in sight, oppressive, adding the weight of time to the heaviness of the air…..

No, I have no idea where that came from…. but it took up the space of a whole paragraph, so it stays…. I suppose apocalyptic scenes such as this one will become common in the future, if what I fear comes to pass….. When the Earth decides it has had enough of the depredations that mankind has perpetrated on this planet, our species will disappear, the same as the T-Rex, the dodo, and the auk, and Mother Nature will spend a few thousand years cleaning off the surface, which we scratched, dented, and broke apart so callously in our paroxysms of destruction, as we looked for sources of fuel for our machines…. and we won’t be missed at all…. Well, the dogs might miss us at first, but, they’ll get over it….

Okay, so now I have to balance the negativism with something lighter, so we don’t fall down into a pit of depression….. Hmm, I know….

“PUNK ROCK!!  DISCO DUCK!!  BIRTH CONTROL!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

There, that should balance things out…. Of course, Zippy has just mentioned three of the reasons that we will no longer be around…. Any species that comes up with Disco, AND Punk Rock, in the same century, deserves to become extinct, in my humble opinion…. But, then, I really, really HATE Disco…. and punks aren’t far behind in my estimation…. But, it did change the direction most satisfactorily, so, we’ll just sort of ignore the passions that may be present, and get on with the rest of today’s Pearl…. Which, I see, is coming right along, as we now have a sufficient number of paragraphs, and certainly a large enough quantity of BS, to qualify as an intro…. I’d better dive right away, before Murphy notices…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed.  At this time, said Nasrudin, I only want to say that the King spoke to me. All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spread the wonderful news. The remaining villager asked, What did the King say to you? What he said — and quite distinctly, for everyone to hear — was ‘Get out of my way!’ The simpleton was overjoyed; he had heard words actually spoken by the King, and seen the very man they were spoken to.” — Smart Bee

When I first read this, a long, complex, and wonderful rant took form in my mind, on the subject of the gullibility of the public…. Unfortunately, somewhere in the process of getting this moved over and formatted, the rant broke apart, like smoke from a fire, dissipating into the ether without a sound, and leaving me sitting here, with a wonderful pearl, and nothing in my head to write about it…. “Well, shit,” he said, with feeling…..

Smart Bee, or Murphy, or Nasrudin, whichever is responsible for this, thinks they have me trapped, and are probably sitting there, maybe even together, laughing, and waiting for me to explode…. Hah! They’re destined to be disappointment, I’m afraid, because I’ll just switch gears, and make this an old-school pearl, using the anecdote on Nasrudin to point the way for the rest of the group…. So, here you go, a five-star pearl, the point of which is now moot….

“It is important to do what you don’t know how to do. It is important to see your skills as keeping you from learning what is deepest and most mysterious. If you know how to focus, unfocus. If your tendency is to make sense out of chaos, start chaos.” — Carlos Casteneda

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” — Oscar Wilde

“A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.” — Nicolas Bolleau-Despreaux

“He who knows best knows how little he knows.” — Thomas Jefferson

“Is it not a noble farce, wherein kings, republics, and emperors have for so many ages played their parts, and to which the whole vast universe serves for a theatre?” — Michael de Montaigne (1533-1592) — Essays, Book ii, Chap. xxxvi, Of the most Excellent Men
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Wishes aren’t horses, and neither do I….. which, decoded, simply means I don’t have a new, fresh poem today. I did create a Haiku, which is below…. But, for today’s poem, another treat from the archives is called for, as I just can’t create a poem whenever I wish, much as I’d like to be able to do so…. Nevertheless, I AM making a new haiku each day, so that has to count for something, right?…. Any who….. As every day this month, these are being included as part of the April National Poetry Writing Month Challenge, with the updates to be found here:  http://www.napowrimo.net/    I hope you enjoy them…..

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“A good indignation brings out all one’s powers.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ah, yes, it does indeed….. This is the principle of human nature I exploit when I rant…. Well, I try, anyway…. It seems as if Ralph Waldo had the inclination to rant strike him on occasion, and, competent observer that he was, he examined how it made him feel, and act when he was in ranting mode. When in full flight, ranting makes one feel ten feet tall, able to leap arguments with a single quote, impervious to sarcasm or belittling remarks, and capable of chewing up the toughest pundit and spitting him out, before breakfast….. Whether or not one could actually do so doesn’t matter in the slightest, for it is what we THINK we can do that determines what we CAN do…. Like the dragons of Pern, who could lift any weight when flying, as long as they thought they could….

“Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.” — Smart Bee

Now, this is a truism; much as it seems like levity, it is quite serious, being a disguised version of a truth uttered by Sherlock Holmes, about Truth, to wit: “As I have previously stated, Watson, when one has eliminated the impossible, what remains, however unlikely, must be the truth.” (God, I hope I quoted it right… I’m lazy, and used the version in my head, rather than googling it to make sure…. but, I’m 100% positive that my paraphrase, if it be such, is completely accurate, in terms of meaning…..) Ranting is an area where this principle is key; it really doesn’t make sense to rant about something that isn’t true, unless the falsity is the actual subject of the rant…. as the following aphorism implies….

“It is a substantial advantage for any philosophy to be based on the truth.” — George Santayana

Of course, this doesn’t mean that being right will make reality conform to how we wish it to be. Much of the world, if not all, is controlled by a group of people who lie, constantly, without shame, completely indifferent to how it affects others, as long as their own needs are met first. But, they only do so because most of the public believes their lies, for the simple reason that it is too hard to believe otherwise. If they begin to see the truth of how they are controlled, they become frightened, often to the point of violence, because they don’t want to know the truth…. unless it comes from a suit on TV…..

“Given a sufficient number of people and an adequate amount of time, you can create insurmountable opposition to the most inconsequential idea.” — Devyver’s law

This is truth, too, sad as it may seem…. The general public will believe just about anything they are told, usually without any sort of critical thought applied to testing its veracity, if it is presented in a manner to which they are accustomed to being told what to do…. If the guy on the six o’clock news says it will rain money, most folks in this country would start looking for a barrel to catch it in, and wonder if it would rain in bills, or in coins… I kid you not…..

This may seem as if I have a poor opinion of the average intelligence of the average American, and in that estimation you would be absolutely correct…. I can say this with complete confidence, as it is a proven fact that the average American’s IQ is below the average for the human race at large….. fact, ffolkes, not supposition…. Of course, I could be lying, but, if so, you can just chalk it up to their bad influence…. If they can use untrue ‘facts’ to prove their assertions, I can, too….

Besides, I can show you almost 50 MILLION pieces of proof of my assertion, without having to look further than the Presidential election last year…. In that election, almost fifty million people voted for Mitt Romney, proof positive that they would believe ANYTHING…. How else could they decide to vote for a man who was PROVEN to have lied during the campaign (independent fact checking organizations showed that he lied just about 50% of the time, or, put more simply, every other time he spoke, he lied...), and indicated, on tape, his complete disdain for over half the people in the country?

It is such an incredibly huge number, it just isn’t possible to understand how gullible people can be, when one sees this statistic, (50 million votes for an asshole….). It is equally hard to believe that so many of our peers are this incredibly dumb, but, truth will out, as it always does….. It also speaks to the number of truly bigoted, racist people that are still in this country, hiding behind their cowardice, and their misguided, ignorant patriotism…. but, that’s a subject for another rant….. (All stupid people aren’t bigots and racists, but ALL bigots and racists are stupid people…..)

“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” — Lazarus Long

You won’t get a better, more clear warning than that; on that note, I proclaim this rant, such as it was, to be complete…..
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All in all, not too bad…. No fresh poem yet, but a decent rant, and all the rest if fresh…. Now, let’s see if it hangs together well enough to publish…. Well, we have another vote for ‘all in all, not too bad’….. So, it’s good to go, and we’re gone….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….