Tag Archives: Calvin & Hobbes

These statistical triumphs are fabulous!….

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Ffolkes,
What we have here…. is a failure… to germinate. So sad….. Actually, it’s germinating just fine. Seeds are like that; a bit of dirt, a little water, some sunshine, and voilá, germination! Now, if only there were some seeds germinating in my head, I’d be set for good. Alas, we should be so lucky…..

Sans germinating ideas, this intro section can turn on me at the drop of a simile, and apparently, has already done so. At this point, I have absolutely no idea what is going to come out next…. It could be a BEM (Bug Eyed Monster, to those of you not up on SF slang…). It could be another poem. (No, no, anything but that!….just shoot me now, please…..) It could be a fictional opening to a story. (If any were there to write down….) Or, it could be a series of paragraphs, each just a bit stranger than the last, all leading up to the usual point, where I give up, and we get started…..

I suppose strange is a relative term, and I ought not to consider it as an insult. In fact, given the rest of my life up to this point in time, I should probably consider it as encouragement, or perhaps, justification. For what, I don’t know, but, hey, it’s my party, and I can be ignorant if I want to be, so there…. Okay, now we’ve devolved into childish insults…. it must be time for the throwing up of the hands in disgust…. hold on, I need to step away from the computer to do this….. There, it’s done. I’ve washed my hands of this intro, and shall henceforth consider it as a part of the past, and no longer under my aegis…..

See? I told ya…. it worked out just the way I said it would, and here we are, finally arrived at the point where I look up with all innocence, and say, “Shall we Pearl?”….. you just nod your head, and move on to the next section…. well, go on…. you’d best go now, you’ll be alone if you stay here, and I won’t take responsibility if you get in trouble here on your own….. GO!!!!
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If God didn’t make homosexuals, there wouldn’t be any. ~~ Very Smart Bee

Aha! At last! I have found the answer to all those bigoted, so-called Christians, with their strident complaints about gay marriage being a threat to society, and the whole ridiculous skein of unfounded fears rooted in their own ignorance. Just mention the above to them, and watch them turn purple, as they try, over and over, to find some logical way to refute this…. which they can’t.

If they are going to insist on having an omnipotent God, then they can’t be telling him what He should and shouldn’t do, because He’s already done it…. This is a perfectly sound piece of doctrine, which I’m sure any Jesuit would tell you is so obvious, it could be considered dogma. They can’t have it both ways…. either there is a God, and homosexuals are part of the plan he has in place…. or there isn’t, and they need to find a whole new theory of the universe to follow, because this one won’t fly…..

“Do you think God gets stoned?  I think so…look at the Platypus.” — Robin Williams

I think it’s a lot more likely that what Robin says here is true; if there is a God, why wouldn’t he get stoned? Of course, those who have experienced the state of being stoned can make an informed judgment on that issue. Anyone who has never done so really has no right to an opinion, do they?

Aside from the simple, irrefutable fact that they, being mortal, cannot fathom God, or anything about Him/Her, how could they possibly have an opinion on something they’ve never experienced? I ask that question rhetorically, of course; they believe they have the right to sound off on anything they don’t understand, since, as they believe, they are the Lords of Creation…. what a crock!

“Faith means intense, usually confident, belief that is not based on evidence sufficient to command assent from every reasonable person.” — Walter Kaufmann

This pearl comes from the old school… it makes a point that logically becomes the next step in this little piece of satire… the point being this: The folks who spend their time fiddling with religion are pursuing a dream, one that has no basis in reality, according to all the evidence.

This kind of blind faith has a name these days, and that name is “delusional”, defined as holding on to a belief after being presented with absolute proof of its falsehood. Couple this delusional frame of mind with a strong sense of denial, and you have an entire segment of the population that is immune to change…. and we all know what the Universe does to any part of it that refuses to change, don’t we?…..

“I guess the rule is, if something’s too good to be true, then it’s probably too good to be true.” — Marshall, The ATM Machine, Eerie Indiana

And that’s the Truth! So, there! Thpppht! ~~ The little girl in the chair… (Lily Tomlin)
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Since the last pearl touched on the old school, I think I’ll make this pearl completely old school…. Here are some pearls that together form an idea, one that is always handy to have in one’s arsenal in the fight to hold our place in reality….. or at least to reluctantly accept it as it is…..

“A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful.  He isn’t likely to grow dim or doubtful.  Chances are, he isn’t likely to carry the cat that way again, either.  But if he wants to, I say let him!” — Mark Twain

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest sea,
Yet never in extremity
It asked a crumb of me.

— Emily Dickinson

“Hope cannot be said to exist, nor can it be said not to exist. It is just like the roads across the earth. For actually there were no roads to begin with, but when many people pass one way a road is made.” — Lu Hsun

“We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting.” — Kahlil Gibran

“America!!  I saw it all!!  Vomiting!  Waving!  JERRY FALWELLING into your void tube of UHF oblivion!!  SAFEWAY of the mind –” — Zippy the Pinhead

Lastly, we turn once again to that philosophical genius, Lily T, to bring us home in style……

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” — Lily Tomlin
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“A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.” — Calvin

Ah, politics! Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes, I believe….) has accurately stated the operating techniques of both parties in this election. I was amazed the other day when the Republican candidates started to harp on how mean and unfair the other side was being. Talk about two kettles calling the pots black!

I also had to laugh when the Democrats got called out for demanding to see the taxes that Romney continues to withhold; he really thinks he is going to get away with not showing them, and doesn’t seem to have a clue as to how much damage it causes his campaign every time he refuses to show them…. I don’t know why, because he reads the polls, and every time he puts it off again, he drops points; it’s a direct correlation, but he doesn’t seem to know, or care….. idiot….

“That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.” — Aldous Huxley (1894-1963), Collected Essays

Romney and Ryan keep accusing Obama of stealing money from Social Security, when the Congressional Report on the plan shows this to be completely false.  John Sunnunu, governor of something or other, a life-time political hack, got his sails trimmed by a CNN reporter, on air, who kept throwing this falsehood back in his face…. he ended up resorting to name-calling, and continued to try to blame the POTUS for everything. Even when it was pointed out to him that the Ryan Plan and the Romney Plan were the same, and both contained tax cuts for the rich, he tried to say they were different…. another idiot….

“I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends…that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we  will stop telling the truth about them.” — Adlai Stevenson

Or was it Joe Biden who said that? Well, he could have…. What Mr. Stevenson says here is all too true, even today, though he doesn’t quite make it all the way to honesty, as he implies that only the Democrats tell the truth. In fact, BOTH parties are more comfortable telling us lies than they are with the truth; it is fortunate for us that the WWW has provided us with a way to keep the truth at the forefront of any issue, no matter how many times one of the pundits, right or left, tries to convince us that the lies they are telling are truth. For those libertarians to whom truth is more important than personal comfort, the web has been a true gift of the gods…..

“The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is  a government strong enough to protect the interests of the people, and a people strong enough and well enough informed to maintain its sovereign control over the government.” — Franklin Delano Roosevelt

These are perfect words to bring this to a close…. We, the citizens of this democracy, have the responsibility of making ourselves aware of the truth, and to insist on that truth being acknowledged by the government, whichever party may be incumbent. If we do not take the time to investigate what they tell us, and accept what they say as truth, without checking, then we deserve whatever kind of government we get.

I can’t stress enough that people need to be aware that politicians, of both varieties, DO NOT HAVE OUR BEST INTERESTS AT HEART….. Elected officials only have their own interests at heart; this has been proven over and over, and really isn’t arguable. But, as long as people continue to act as if the pundits care about them, then they will continue to get the shaft…. and deservedly so…..

“TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don’t you realize that the END of the “Wash Cycle” is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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I was right in the intro…. it kind of got away from me…. But, I think I managed to pull it all together, with only moderate use of duct tape…. It’s going to have to do, because, well, because it will….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

 

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Malevolent nannies spotted in Cannes…..

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Ffolkes,
I lost a day somewhere…. I looked up at my little desk calendar thingie, and noted that the day was wrong…. which always disorients me until I get it right….. I’m also running very late today, and have a bunch of stuff I need to get done toward moving at the end of the month…. meet the new landlord to sign a lease, clean my floors so company coming later in the week won’t puke on sight of it, and a couple other tedious little chores like that….. so I’d best get right to putting this Pearl together…..

Actually, I’ve just now decided to pull an old literary trick out of the hat…. let me check this out…. be right back…..  Okay, this will work…. I’m late and in a hurry, and I’ve got over 800 pages of material from the last year here…. so, without further ado, I give you now the Pearl of Virtual Wisdom from January 3, 2012…..

Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner  Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe. — PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW

Ffolkes,
I plan on living forever.  So far, so good. (It’s a joke, okay? Sheesh…) As of yesterday, however, reaching that goal may become problematic in the relatively near future, especially for those of us who disapprove of the way the government is doing things. They (yes, they…) took away my rights day before yesterday. Yours too. The United States Bill of Rights, comprising the first ten Amendments to the US Constitution, was figuratively vaporized; the rights guaranteed therein were declared null and void by the National Defense Authorization Act, as signed off by the President of the United States, effective January 1, 2012.

Under the provisions of this act, I, and/or essentially every other American citizen (i.e., you…), may legally be taken from their home by the US military, and taken to an undisclosed location to be tortured for whatever information I might possess, merely for being “suspected” of traitorous activities. Which activities are defined as traitorous are not specified; ‘they’ are the only ones to whom it must be justified, they need not report to anyone.  Nor are ‘they’ required to tell anyone at all what their suspicions are.  No lawyer for the accused, no court of law, no oversight. Just you (or more likely, me), them, and the waterboard. I tell you now, if any of them come for me, I will not go quietly, and that is a plain and simple fact…..let’s go on to more light-hearted matters, shall we?……

“It is not the function of our Government to keep the citizen from falling into error; it is the function of the citizen to keep the Government from falling into error.” — Robert H. Jackson (1892-1954), U.S. Judge

If the government doesn’t trust us with our guns, why should we trust them with theirs? — Smart Bee  (Now, there’s a thought…..)

Ned, draco braz mento; compile 13….command 003: Insert brain, then type…..
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“Appearances to the mind are of four kinds. Things either are what they appear to be; or they neither are, nor appear to be; or they are, and do not appear to be; or they are not, and yet appear to be. Rightly to aim in all these cases is the wise man’s task.” — Epictetus (c. 60 AD) — Discourses, Book i, Chap. xxvii

What a wonderfully obtuse little word salad! Epictetus outdid himself here. This takes the mind on a beautifully complex, winding trail of thoughts, stopping here, looking over there, and generally winding about with no seeming purpose. Then, if you can wind your way to the end, it’s all tied together with a cute little bow, and voilá, instant wisdom.

Though its a bit painful to use, this Pearl is one of my favorites. I say painful because you have to exercise mental muscles that don’t often get much of it, and there will be some stiffness and soreness to let you know they don’t appreciate it. You must ignore that, and work them again tomorrow, lest they fall back into apathy, which is easily done; they’re lazy, just like the rest of us.  This inherent laziness has its evolutionary purpose; it drives us to find easier ways to do things, and as such can be valuable. But, mostly it just reinforces our genetic tendency to loaf whenever possible…….
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I stood
Among them, but not of them; in a shroud
Of thoughts which were not their thoughts.
— Lord Byron (1788-1824) — Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, Canto iii, Stanza 113

I often feel this way in today’s society. I have all these thoughts running through my head, and when I look around me, I can see that everyone else has their own inner promptings to pay attention to as well. But, when I observe their actions, it becomes clear that what they were thinking, and what was going on in my mind, are two entirely different universes. What did you say was the name of the planet you live on?

It’s a rare day indeed when I encounter anyone whose thoughts run any deeper than wondering what to wear on their date tonight, or how to keep the kids entertained while cooking dinner. I’m not saying that what is going on in my head is any better than what they are considering. Far from it. In fact, in some respects, I am jealous, and wish that I didn’t perceive the evidence all around us that our society is dying.

I wish the leaders of the world weren’t so obviously motivated by avarice, prejudice, and fear. I really do wish I could spend my mental energy on something a bit more comforting. But, I can’t. And I won’t. It’s getting really dangerous out there, folks, for anybody who is the least bit different in their outlook, and I will keep shouting out the warning as long as I have breath to shout….
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“Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? Didn’t they have color film back then?”
“Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs ARE in color. It’s just the WORLD was black and white then.”
“Really?”
“Yep. The world didn’t turn color until sometime in the 1930’s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.”
“That’s really weird.”
“Well, truth is stranger than fiction.”
“But then why are old PAINTINGS in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn’t artists have painted it that way?”
“Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.”
“But… but how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn’t their paints have been shades of gray back then?”
“Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the 30’s.”
“So why didn’t old black and white photos turn color too?”
“Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?” — Calvin and Dad, “Calvin and Hobbes”, 29 October 89

Brilliant! Absolutely, positively, not a damn doubt, ruddy frzlicxz brilliant. If more fathers had the courage to be so creatively honest with their sons, the world would be a far, far different place than it is now, wouldn’t you agree?…….

“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”– Willie Wonka
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“Free people, remember this maxim: We may acquire liberty, but it is never recovered if it is once lost.” — Rousseau

I won’t regale you with further long, outrageous reports of today’s menu of political chicanery; there’s plenty enough out there for you to see without having me shove it down your gullet. But these two quotes are important to remember, mainly because, if there is a chance at all to deflect some of the chaos that is coming, it will have to come from us. Those individuals who can think, and do, will need to stand up for our right to do so without censure or threat, and we’ll need all of us to do it. So, please, take heed……

If you wanna be free, keep your eyes open and think for yourself.– Smart Bee
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Knowing others is wisdom;
Knowing the self is enlightenment.
Mastering others requires force;
Mastering the self requires strength.
He who knows he has enough is rich.
Perseverance is a sign of will power.
He who stays where he is endures.
To die but not to perish is to be eternally present.
— Lao-tzu (c604-c531 BC)

Obviously, this requires nothing from me to make it complete. Nor does it request my comments; just as well, I have none, as none are needed…..
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Another fine mess I’ve created here, eh? A veritable hodge-podge of mixed metaphors and clever cliches, and colorful to boot! What more could I ask for before breakfast? I suppose I should start cleaning it up….. in the meantime, stay alert. Y’all be careful out there….

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In case you are not confused enough by now, this is me again, speaking from the future…. or at least from the present…. it’s only future in relation to the most excellently long Pearl above…. I think it was a pretty good one…. how about y’all?

Tomorrow, I’ll be back, caught up enough to compose a fresh Pearl…. at least, that’s the plan. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Tears will fall for feathers….

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Ffolkes,
As a computer geek of long standing, glitches of a technical nature, while usually fun in a challenging way, are not what I care to confront upon first sitting down to write. Early morning is the best time, I suppose, to perform reboots, but being forced to do so by recalcitrant software trying to live up to pre-coded requirements for updates is a pain, like any other unwanted activity we are forced to engage in, such as paying taxes, and NOT shooting at politicians. Grumble, mumble, hmph! Now I feel all curmudgeonly, and I haven’t found a single pearl yet…. this could get ugly, ffolkes….

Grump, is, I believe, going to be the order for the day. Other than my usual ranting, I haven’t really put on my cranky shirt or pants for a while. Even my recent bout of pain didn’t put me there, surprisingly, but I can feel a good-sized quantity of grumpy stuff piled up in there, just looking for a subject upon which to spew. Well, so be it….

I’ll just issue a warning here to keep back a bit while reading today, or wear your favorite lobster bib or rain slicker to help avoid any splatter on your clothing…. it may get messy. Episodes of spewing this type of material have, in the past, exceeded local regulations for release of toxic materials all in one place, so have a care….

Before I panic anyone further, I believe I’ll just dive in, start the search for suitably grim pearls, and hope that at the end of today’s efforts, we end up with a worthy Pearl…. hope is our only friend right now, I think…. Okay, the tide is in, let’s go……
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“The programmers of old were mysterious and profound. We cannot fathom their thoughts, so all we do is describe their appearance.

Aware, like a fox crossing the water. Alert, like a general on the battlefield. Kind, like a hostess greeting her guests. Simple, like uncarved blocks of wood. Opaque, like black pools in darkened caves.

Who can tell the secrets of their hearts and minds? The answer exists only in the Tao.” — Smart Bee

Although this is intended as parody, it is, in reality, quite accurate. If one replaces the word “programmers” with “Taoist sages”, it is a nearly exact copy of texts I have seen by Taoist scholars discussing the Way that is not the Way. What impresses me the most about this is the descriptions they use to portray the image of the sages, to show those attributes that can give the seeker a clue as to how to find that which they seek.

“Simple, like uncarved blocks of wood.”  This is purely Zen not merely in its depth; the Zen Buddhists also use the Uncarved Block as a talisman of focus for meditation and mindfulness. “Aware, like a fox crossing the water.” Can one be more alive, and more aware if it, than that?

Another line of this type that I’ve seen is one of my favorites…. “The ancient sages were alert, like ice on the verge of melting”…. Ah, what an exquisite image, and an admirable state of mind to seek after. It is often puzzling to me to think of how differently the world would appear should more of mankind choose to follow such philosophies.

What would be the overall effects of having the greater portion of society seeking to increase the world’s supply of rationality and right action, including those who govern? How much further down the evolutionary road toward Utopia could we be if religion and politics had not achieved the stranglehold on the rest of us that they have? How different would life be if everyone was “Kind, like a hostess greeting her guests”?  My guess would be, things would be a lot different….
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‘T is sweet to hear the watch-dog’s honest bark
Bay deep-mouth’d welcome as we draw near home;
‘T is sweet to know there is an eye will mark
Our coming, and look brighter when we come.
— Lord Byron (1788-1824) — Don Juan, Canto i, Stanza 123

I guess the curmudgeon in me went back to bed…. This is just here because I like it. It’s a nice little paean to dogs, and how their unconditional love for us, hard to understand as it is, can make our whole day better, just by being who and what they are….
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Calvin: “Do you believe our destinies are determined by the stars?”
Hobbes: “Nah.”
Calvin: “Oh, I do.”
Hobbes: “Really? How come?”
Calvin: “Life’s a lot more fun when you’re not responsible for your actions.”
— “Calvin and Hobbes,” Bill Watterson

Sharp, sharp wit! Pointed straight at the very heart of modern society, laughing at those who cannot laugh at themselves. Robert Heinlein once said that you could tell how rational a person was just by asking their opinion of astrology, and he was mostly correct in that. To my mind, astrology is what I would call a half-assed science, in that it assumes that the motion of the stars and planets in the sky determine the characteristics of our personality, and affect the events of our lives, depending on our decisions, of course.  😉

This assumption is theoretically possible, I suppose, if one also assumes a somewhat different set of natural laws to be in effect than what seems to be the case. But, at a stretch, it COULD be true. If true, however, it still fails to take into account the actual nature of reality, in that things exist only in duality, each with its counter-balancing opposite number in the universal scheme of things. This is incontrovertible fact, clearly demonstrated on every level of reality, from atoms to stars. With this in mind, it becomes clear that if the stars and planets affect the events of our lives, then those same events have an equal effect on the motions of the stars and planets.

Well, there goes that theory…. Observation of those motions show absolutely no changes that can possibly be ascribed to what is taking place on Earth. None. Oh, they’re all moving about, and it is an extremely complex and beautiful dance indeed that they perform. But to try to imply that what I’ve done this morning, or what anyone did, in some way affected what time the Sun came up, well, that is what I would call plain stupid, with a strong dose of denial thrown in for increased stubbornness….
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“A chair has no problems … It’s there; nobody bothers it. It doesn’t have to pay rent or get involved politically. A chair can never stub its toe or misplace its earmuffs. It doesn’t have to smile or get a haircut, and you never have to worry that if you take it to a party it will suddenly start coughing or make a scene.  People just sit in a chair, and when those people die other people sit in it.” — Smart Bee

Though reading this makes me want to stick my tongue firmly in my cheek, it sort of grabs me by the shirt-front and gives a bit of a shake, too…. Obviously, it is a very concrete look at the duality of existence, and does very well at outlining the advantages of being an inanimate object, over being a member of a pathological society of sentient entities.

Of course, since it is so concrete, it fails to mention any of the disadvantages that a chair has in society, such as never getting to eat a cheeseburger with grilled onions (sheer bliss!). A chair can’t really get a lot of enjoyment out of playing in the mud, and then getting to take a shower with a friend, either, can it? And even though it can’t lose any earmuffs, neither can it make a snowman on a crisp winter morning, cold ears or not….

This sort of stuff (my all-inclusive term for such distractions) is probably best avoided, or if not avoided, disregarded, as far as being useful is concerned. It may be a nice, easy way to spend a few moments to read, but spending much time in consideration of its content is giving it too much relevance.

To my mind, it encourages sloth, and ignorance; it champions the concept of non-involvement in reality to avoid the pain of commitment, and offers a rationalization for non-action. As such, it is insidiously evil, for it draws one in with apparent humorous affection for a well-known image, then uses that affection to create a state of mind that is contra-productive to independent thought or action.

Better to spend time more constructively, I should think, but, hey, to each his own…. I’ll be busy thinking about my refrigerator, and won’t have time to think about chairs….  🙂

“Joyous distrust is a sign of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology.” — Nietzsche
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“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: (1) not going all the way; and (2) not starting.” — Buddha

What a perfect last pearl! This could easily be applied to the previous section on astrology, either as a beginning, or ending, quote. But since I just found it, I’ll just serve it up fresh, as it stands alone quite well, don’t you think? I do…..

Not only is this a perfect ending to what has been a fairly normal strange journey, but really requires no enhancement. This one is good for both motivation, and for meditation, so, enjoy!….
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There are mornings when the words flow like good wine from my mind to the screen. Then there is today, when each one had to be kicked forcibly out into the light, complaining all the way. Ah well, having already been reminded of karma, I have no reason to complain, so we’ll just put this to bed, and send it on its way, to mix my metaphors a bit….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

 

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.gigoid

Kowabunga!

Replication of tarnished images, on commission….

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Ffolkes,
The start of a new day is always a bit delicate, when one realizes how important the beginning is to the remainder of the day. What takes place in the first few moments can determine how the rest of the day will follow, if in no other way by shaping our initial mood. It seems pretty obvious to me, so that is how I approach it, with care and caution. Of course, if I were to be completely honest, I’d probably admit that none of it really matters at all, and if the gods want to take a dump on my day, there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it, without over-reacting and starting the next War in Heaven….. Some mornings, that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea….. but most days, I’d rather just eat some oatmeal & toast, and pass on the battle with already-annoyed gods….

Not necessary today, though….. all things considered, this one has begun auspiciously, and I can feel some small confidence at taking the next few cautious steps into the day’s activities. Of course, that is contingent on how my Muse is feeling this fine morning, and whether I will have its support, or if it will need to nurse along another hangover (occupational hazard for Muses, I’d guess… in vino, veritas, and all that, you know….). I’m not worried, I haven’t heard any significant whimpering from that corner…. and I’ve promised some actual reading time later, out of a book, not a website, provided we get done at a reasonable time.  It’s quite excited about that, and looking forward to this recently rare indulgence.

On a happy note, my access problem with some WordPress sites is solved; many of you may have noticed my return to your comment sections yesterday, some with delight, some with resignation, and, I’m sure, a few groans…. it was merely a matter of getting the information laid out in front of the correct person, who zeroed in on the difficulty and presented a solution on the spot. The solution worked instantly, and voila, I was back…. such a drawn out process for a fix that took two minutes, merely a single change to my ISP network configuration, toggling a certain function off. Only took two minutes to get to the right page, the fix was a matter of seconds, just click a box, and hit submit. Done deal, and I can’t tell y’all how nice it was to be able to follow a link without any rigmarole….. and, hey, I’d have even gone through it again, just for the opportunity to use the word “rigmarole”……

Shall we Pearl?……
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This is the text from a Sunday edition of Calvin and Hobbes from 1989; it needs no comment or adornment……

“Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? Didn’t they have color film back then?”
“Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs ARE in color. It’s just the WORLD was black and white then.”
“Really?”
“Yep. The world didn’t turn color until sometime in the 1930’s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.”
“That’s really weird.”
“Well, truth is stranger than fiction.”
“But then why are old PAINTINGS in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn’t artists have painted it that way?”
“Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.”
“But… but how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn’t their paints have been shades of gray back then?”
“Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the 30’s.”
“So why didn’t old black and white photos turn color too?”
“Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?”

— Calvin and Dad, “Calvin and Hobbes”, 29 October 89

SIGH…. it’s a wonderful time of life, those years when your children believed EVERYTHING you told them…..  🙂   Those were actually the REAL Good Old Days…..
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A man sought medical aid because he was crippled and could hardly walk. The foot doctor suggested surgery. After the operation, nothing changed. The man then consulted a bone surgeon, who suggested surgery on his legs. After this second operation, nothing changed. The man went to a chiropractor for six months, and no change was effected, although he was told his spine was out of line. Finally the man consulted a psychiatrist at great expense, and the doctor told him he was totally suicidal and would die within months. Despondent, the man went out and spent a great deal of money on a new wardrobe. At the shoe store, he ordered the finest, a size 10. The salesperson said he needed size 11, but the man insisted on a size 10. “Look here,” said the salesperson, “if you wear a size 10 you are going to get crippled and wish you were dead.”

A delightfully long and convoluted walk down a path to a single, very key concept, to wit: “Pay attention! And not to all the bullshit, just what is important!” A statement like this, made at the right time to the right person, in the right frame of mind, can become an epiphany, a moment of zazen, a flash of the eternal, a smile from the Jade Empress… something never to be forgotten, an event lasting an instant that will echo down through all the years of life, affecting everything one does, and everything one becomes…. like the widening ripples in a pond that result from a single pebble entering the deep unknown below the surface of reality….
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Some days, when I go diving for pearls, they seem to jump out of their shells and into the bag…. on these days, what ends up in the bag often tells a story, or makes a point, or just stands silently, pointing the Way, sometimes even all three, without benefit or need of discussion or comment. This is one such group of pearls, needing none of my ego to dress them up in finery….. so pay attention!….

The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy.  What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. — Messiah’s Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul

“I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not understand.  nevertheless, with what I am, I can reflect light into the black places of this world – into the dark places in the hearts of men – and maybe help change some things in some people.  Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am . . . this is the meaning of my life.” — Alexander Papaderos

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.” — C. G. Jung

There is a bridge between Time and Eternity; and this bridge is the Spirit of man. Neither day nor night cross that bridge, nor old age, nor death nor sorrow. — Upanishads (c. B.C. 800)

Then along comes some wise guy author and mucks things about…… sort of…. Then again, maybe just a different way of getting to the same point….

“At the back of our brains, so to speak, there was a forgotten blaze or burst of astonishment at our own existence. The object of the artistic and spiritual life was to dig for this submerged sunrise or wonder; so that a man sitting in a chair might suddenly understand that he was actually alive, and be happy.” — G.K. Chesterton

These are the times I live for…… days when every single face of Reality is just sparkling with possibility, and promise…. Makes me want to take BIG BITES of joie d’vivre!…..
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How does it feel?
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown?

–Bob Dylan, “Like a rolling stone…”

I just realized now that I’ve never known exactly why this appealed to me, but, as I started to write, to cover an entirely different idea using this, it came to me that I knew exactly how it feels. I can answer Bob’s plaintive plea for, well, for help, from anybody….. I was there, you see. Right there…. on my own, no direction home, a complete unknown…. more desperately, for me, “there” was in a part of New York City I didn’t know (which included most of the city), in the middle of the night, and I had exactly four cents and four bummed cigarettes as assets of a fiscally liquid nature. Needless to say, it doesn’t feel as good as my dreams had painted such scenarios, prior to experiencing them; it felt pretty damn shitty, all in all, and made it hard to find the grit and inspiration to get myself out of the situation intact, in both mind and body…..

In more than one respect, I know now I was damn lucky, that I didn’t find myself in a more dangerous area than I had…. mostly, where I found myself, it was pretty deserted much of the time, and I was hip enough to know not to dress as if I had anything to steal; I mostly went unnoticed, which was fine by me. The harder part was learning to depend on myself, alone, without feeling bad about that solitude. We’re all social creatures, and it feels lonely after a while to spend so much of one’s time without conversation with another live human. But it gets easier, the more one learns to enjoy their own company, while still appreciating what other folks have to give us, if we are open to receiving it….. that lesson takes a bit of practice, needless to say.

It helps to NOT read the news for long periods of time…. cuts down on the urge to strangle pundits, or send bigots to a private conference with their God, face to face….. see, just thinking about the news, even imaginary news, disturbs my serenity…. after all this work to get it here…. damn, fell for it again!…..
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FUCK
You’ve just been waiting for this definition, haven’t you? Here is how to use the word ‘fuck’ in almost any conversation.

NORMAL EXPRESSION                     FUCKING EXPRESSION
———————                               ——————
I am surprised                                        Well, fuck me
Please go away quickly                           Fuck off
My condition is one of fatigue                   I’m fucked
You have made an error of judgment        You fucked up
Stop engaging in frivolous activities           Stop fucking about
He is a person of below average intellect  What a dumb fucker
That option is not a suitable choice           Fuck that
I have not made significant progress         I’ve done fuck all
(… and, finally, my own contributions to this lexicon)
Situation normal                                      It’s all fucked up (the origin, of course, of SNAFU….)
You are not a nice person                        Fucking asshole WOS (waste of sperm)

— Daniel Bowen’s TOXIC (expanded) CUSTARPEDIA

Sharing one’s knowledge is showing one cares…..
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Serendipity is generally not susceptible to either summoning at will, or even coming upon persuasion; it comes and goes according to rules it never shares, completely reflecting that part of Reality that changes without warning, and with no pity, only indifference. But, diving for pearls today, and yesterday, when I found almost all of the above, was both delightfully easy of execution, and prolific in results. Thus, I find myself essentially finished with this before I really noticed I had begun…. fascinating alterations of local time and reality, to be sure.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how our mind is able to concentrate so fully, on anything at all, and completely lose all awareness of Time and Space, forces we are normally in tune with closely? This is especially true for using computers, and even has a word to describe the phenomenon, i.e. “flow”. You know you entered the flow state when you sit down at the computer at 10 PM to check mail one last time before bed, and then come back to reality only as you stare incredulously at the rising sun coming through the window into your eyes, the next morning. All too common around here, for sure….

Any who, I guess I’ll have to give in and finish putting together the non-Pearl post I’ve been putting off for a week now…. or not. I can be pretty lazy if I put all my effort into it, and this feels like a lazy day, good work results aside….. I’ll do my usual, and do nothing until some external force pushes me to act….

Remember, ffolkes, be strange… it’s cool out there. No room for the straights and pimps of life…. Y’all take care out there, and Blessed Be……

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Penguins are never quite sober……

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Ffolkes,
From a purely subjective viewpoint (which, if you think about it, is all we really have) I am not a crook…..no, wait, that’s for another group. Okay, try this….from a purely subjective viewpoint, people suck major waste. They create major waste, too, but it doesn’t fit the image I’m creating. No, really, I mean, how hard can it be to be nice to each other? But, noooooo, people have to piss all over each other on a regular basis, as if they didn’t know any better.

That’s what really gets me about most of what goes on in the world at large; people do know what is right, and they just refuse to do it. They would rather lie, cheat, and steal from their fellow man, just because they think they can. It’s enough to make a strong man turn to drink, and send a weak one to the grave. There are days when I am glad I’m currently stuck here at home a lot; it keeps me from having to go out and deal with the great unwashed masses too often. Such interactions tend to be bloody, and I don’t need to get summoned to court to answer why I was beating that young man to death with his own leg…… I’d best dive in before I commit perjury or something…..
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Creation sleeps! ‘T is as the general pulse
Of life stood still, and Nature made a pause,–
An awful pause! prophetic of her end.
— Edward Young (1684-1765) — Night Thoughts, Night i, Line 23

Mr. Young seems to have been feeling a bit prophetic himself. If we consider this to have been written halfway through his life, then it was created somewhere around 1720, just the very beginning of the Industrial Age, when mankind first left the path of sustainability. The sky was still unrelieved blue, the waters were clean, and the sunsets were still the same colors they had been for a million years.

By the end of the century, London, and a few other cities of its size around the world, were beginning to see the first effects of pollution, with a rise in such diseases as TB, cancer, and respiratory complications, and the disappearance of a multitude of water-living creatures due to the poisons being dumped into the Thames.  Between the fireplace in every house, the trains, and the factories now blotting the horizon in all directions, the air in London was practically unbreathable at times, until Mother Nature took pity and sent some higher winds or rain to give them a break. One of the most lucrative of employments was that of window-washer, as it only took a day or two for a window to gather so much dirt and smoke as to be impenetrable to light or sight.

This phenomenon was not confined to London, and by the end of the next century, in 1900, the planet was starting to reel under the assault of particulate matter being pumped into the environment by the industrious little parasites crawling over its surface, still reproducing without restraint, oblivious to the harm they cause, merely by being born. The pollution not only continued, but increased by factors of 10 regularly, until, at the end of the twentieth century, we have reached a point of no-return.

The planet’s capability of dealing with what is poured into it is reaching a critical flash point; within the next century, it is a certainty that major environmental events will occur, as the planet begins to slough off the poisons we have created. The polar ice caps are melting and shrinking, at a rate which will only grow faster exponentially; as time goes on, it will increase at an ever-increasing rate, a rate that will effectively halt any more pollution by us, as we will be busy trying to survive the earthquakes, floods, famine, wars over food and clean water, unpredictable extreme weather, and other phenomena we cannot predict. These are merely the ones we KNOW will happen.

So, how do we survive? We don’t. As far as I can see, it’s too late; not enough time left for us to fix what we’ve broken.  Deal with it. Mankind has signed its own death warrant, and there is no court of appeal. We will join the dodo, the saber-tooth tiger, and T-Rex in the ranks of evolutionary dead-ends, another failed experiment.

The only way that this won’t happen, is if one of two things happens, soon, like yesterday: 1) The beloved ruling class comes to its senses, and stops trying to control everything to their own benefit, immediately begins to take steps to discontinue the destructive mind-set they have, and learns to share, or 2) The rest of us rise up and force them to do that, in spite of their stupidity and greed. I suppose those two things are actually one, but the point is that nothing else will work. There is no other way to survive. The people in charge MUST make these changes, or we are all going to die, not with a bang, but with a whimper and a cry of despair……
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“Emily Dickinson didn’t even publish books, she just wrote these demented little poems with a quill pen and hid them in her desk, but they still fought their way into the world, and lasted on and on and on. It’s damned hard to get rid of Emily Dickinson, she hangs on like a tick in a dog’s ear. And everybody who writes from then on in some sense has to measure up to this woman. In the art of book-writing the classics are still living competition, they tend to elevate the entire art-form by their persistent presence.” — Bruce Sterling

Mr. Sterling makes a valid point here. I have noted this feeling in myself, particularly after reading some Oscar Wilde, or Hemingway, or Poe, some Mark Twain, or Dorothy L. Sayers, Bob Heinlein, or Arthur C. Clark (yes, I know, very eclectic. I prefer to call it psychotic…) Just a couple days ago, I commented on this over a phrase from the pen of Mr. Wilde, of such great beauty it beckons like a lighthouse in a dark, moonless night at sea. I can only hope that my attempts at emulating the luminaries, like Emily and Oscar, elevate my art to a level approaching theirs……
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In the worlds before monkey, primal chaos reigned.   Heaven sought order, but the Phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown.  The four lands formed again and yet again, as endless eons wheeled and passed.  The wind, time and later (??) all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation, and it became magically fertile.  That first egg was called ‘thought.’  Tagahatha (??) Buddha, the Father Buddha says, ‘with our thoughts, we make the world.’  Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch.  From it came a stone monkey.  The nature of monkey was IRREPRESSIBLE!

I found this gem without attribution, so I don’t know who to thank for it; it’s delightful, if only for its sense of fun. Irrepressible indeed! Plus, in certain ways, it is as logical and plausible as the claims made by some of the other religions floating around out there, isn’t it? The logical procession it displays is almost believable, and the mixing of myth, magic, and reality shows a mastery of both logic and its antithesis, intuition.

Living as I do in California, I could say with complete confidence that there is most likely one or more alleged “churches” in Southern California whose tenets of faith resemble this paragraph quite closely. Probably one with a fast-growing congregation, all of whom drive BMW’s or VW beetles. Those who don’t ride donkeys, that is…..
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Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. Hobbes: Isn’t your pants’ zipper supposed to be in the front?  — Calvin (Bill Watterson, “Calvin and Hobbes”)

A fine example of how all of us are our own best source for laughter. As a matter of fact, it reminds me of several occasions in my own life in which I held this conversation in my own head, with myself playing both parts. SIGH….. gotta say, though, Calvin and Hobbes is the best cartoon to come along in a long time; sometimes it seems as if Doonesbury is the only really witty one left. Ah, for the days of Pogo, and Odds Bodkins!  Bloom County was also great, but way too short-lived. Hopefully, we will always have at least one cartoonist to help us stay sane when reading the news…..

“Creation is a mighty joke, but the laugh is at my own expense.” — Meher Baba
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“The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.” — Oscar Wilde

Sometimes Oscar cracks me up…..this, for example, produced a quick sardonic grin on my face, immediately followed by the thought “that sounds like something W.C. Fields might have said when he was soused”, which was most of the time, if one can believe of him what he so arduously sought to have others believe. Maybe that tenuous self-confidence, that almost shyness, made so obvious in the outer persona of each of them, by the very volume of the oddness, or uniqueness they espoused as a public figure, is what reminds me one of the other.

Both tried very hard to have others believe of them more than they thought of themselves; it seems to me that is what gave them purpose, for without it, the darker, depressive sides of their nature tended to drag them into emotional bogs. Probably why one drank so much, and one chose a more convoluted path to self-destruction, both men’s wit and imagination, and inner-terror, acting as methods of coping with a world that would never really understand them…..
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Whew….that took awhile; close to three hours this morning, and haven’t even looked at email yet; I’m falling further behind as I type, but what are ya gonna do when it flows? Go with it, obviously….. any who, let’s go see what the rest of the world is up to, shall we?….Y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

On a dark, moonless night…

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Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner  Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe. — PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW

Ffolkes,
I plan on living forever.  So far, so good. (It’s a joke, okay? Sheesh…) As of yesterday, however, reaching that goal may become problematic in the relatively near future, especially for those of us who disapprove of the way the government is doing things. They (yes, they…) took away my rights day before yesterday. Yours too. The United States Bill of Rights, comprising the first ten Amendments to the US Constitution, was figuratively vaporized. More literally, the rights guaranteed therein were declared null and void by the National Defense Authorization Act, as signed off by the President of the United States, effective January 1, 2012.

Under the provisions of this act, I, and/or essentially every other American citizen (i.e., you…), may legally be taken from their home by the US military, and taken to an undisclosed location to be tortured for whatever information I might possess, merely for being “suspected” of traitorous activities. Which activities are defined as traitorous are not specified; ‘they’ are the only ones to whom it must be justified, they need not report to anyone.  Nor are ‘they’ required to tell anyone at all what their suspicions are.  No lawyer for the accused, no court of law, no oversight. Just you (or more likely, me), them, and the waterboard. I tell you now, if any of them come for me, I will not go quietly, and that is a plain and simple fact…..let’s go on to more light-hearted matters, shall we?……

“It is not the function of our Government to keep the citizen from falling into error; it is the function of the citizen to keep the Government from falling into error.” — Robert H. Jackson (1892-1954), U.S. Judge

If the government doesn’t trust us with our guns, why should we trust them with theirs?  (Now, there’s a thought…..)

Ned, draco braz mento; compile 13….command 003: Insert brain, then type…..
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“Appearances to the mind are of four kinds. Things either are what they appear to be; or they neither are, nor appear to be; or they are, and do not appear to be; or they are not, and yet appear to be. Rightly to aim in all these cases is the wise man’s task.” — Epictetus (c. 60 AD) — Discourses, Book i, Chap. xxvii

What a wonderfully obtuse little word salad! Epictetus outdid himself here. This takes the mind on a beautifully complex, winding trail of thoughts, stopping here, looking over there, and generally winding about with no seeming purpose. Then, if you can wind your way to the end, it’s all tied together with a cute little bow, and voilá, instant wisdom. Though it’s a bit painful to use, this Pearl is one of my favorites. I say painful because you have to exercise mental muscles that don’t often get much of that commodity, and there will be some stiffness and soreness to let you know they don’t appreciate it. You must ignore that, and work them again tomorrow, lest they fall back into apathy; they’re lazy, just like the rest of us.  This inherent laziness has its evolutionary purpose; it drives us to find easier ways to do things, and as such can be valuable. But, mostly it just reinforces our genetic tendency to loaf whenever possible…….
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I stood
Among them, but not of them; in a shroud
Of thoughts which were not their thoughts.
— Lord Byron (1788-1824) — Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, Canto iii, Stanza 113

I often feel this way in today’s society. I have all these thoughts running through my head, and when I look around me, I can see that everyone else has their own inner promptings to pay attention to as well. But, when I observe their actions, it becomes clear that what they were thinking, and what was going on in my mind, are two entirely different universes. What did you say was the name of the planet you live on? It’s a rare day indeed when I encounter anyone whose thoughts run any deeper than wondering what to wear on their date tonight, or how to keep the kids entertained while cooking dinner.

I’m not saying that what is going on in my head is any better than what they are considering. Far from it. In fact, in some respects, I am jealous, and wish that I didn’t perceive the evidence all around us that our society is crumbling around us. I wish the leaders of the world weren’t so obviously motivated by avarice, prejudice, and fear. I really do wish I could spend my mental energy on something a bit more comforting. But, I can’t. And I won’t. It’s getting really dangerous out there, folks, for anybody who is the least bit different in their outlook, and I will keep shouting out the warning as long as I have breath to shout….
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“Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? Didn’t they have color film back then?”
“Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs ARE in color. It’s just the WORLD was black and white then.”
“Really?”
“Yep. The world didn’t turn color until sometime in the 1930’s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.”
“That’s really weird.”
“Well, truth is stranger than fiction.”
“But then why are old PAINTINGS in color?! If the world was black and white, wouldn’t artists have painted it that way?”
“Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.”
“But… but how could they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn’t their paints have been shades of gray back then?”
“Of course, but they turned colors like everything else did in the 30’s.”
“So why didn’t old black and white photos turn color too?”
“Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?” — Calvin and Dad, “Calvin and Hobbes”, 29 October 89

Brilliant! Absolutely, positively, not a damn doubt, ruddy frzlicxz brilliant. If more fathers had the courage to be so creatively honest with their sons, the world would be a far, far different place than it is now, wouldn’t you agree?…….

“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”– Willie Wonka (Ian Fleming)
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“Free people, remember this maxim: We may acquire liberty, but it is never recovered if it is once lost.” — Rousseau

I won’t regale you further with any more long, outrageous reports of today’s menu of political chicanery; there’s plenty enough out there for you to see without having me shove it down your gullet, or hold it up for your perusal. But these two quotes are important to remember, mainly because, if there is a chance at all to deflect some of the chaos that is coming, it rests with us. Those individuals who can think, and do, will need to stand up for our right to do so without censure or threat, and we’ll need all of us to do it. So, please, take heed……

If you wanna be free, keep your eyes open and think for yourself.
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Knowing others is wisdom;
Knowing the self is enlightenment.
Mastering others requires force;
Mastering the self requires strength.
He who knows he has enough is rich.
Perseverance is a sign of will power.
He who stays where he is endures.
To die but not to perish is to be eternally present.
— Lao-tzu (c604-c531 BC)

Obviously, this requires nothing from me to make it complete. Nor does it request my comments; just as well, I have none, as none are needed…..
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Another fine mess I’ve created here, eh? A veritable Hodge-podge of mixed metaphors and clever cliches, and colorful to boot! What more could I ask for before breakfast? I suppose I should start cleaning it up….. in the meantime, stay alert. Y’all be careful out there….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Salsa requires rhythm, and tight shoes……

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Ffolkes,
Gather ye round, children, and I will tell you a tale. We speak here today of days gone by, with love for memory, and hope for tomorrow. This tale is one of loss, and hope, and love, and fear. It is a tale of two humans, strong and brave, and the day they met……in the shadow of the future… Listen now, as the tale begins……
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“Life is full of surprises when you’re up th’ stream of consciousness without a paddle…” — Zippy the Pinhead

Having been in this position a number of times over the years, I can attest that Zippy hit this nail squarely on the head, driving it home with one swift blow. What I particularly like about this is that Zippy has shown us how to assimilate and accept our position when we find ourselves this far out of touch with our GPS, and how to best react to having fallen prey to our own foolishness. Long story short; this is the way it is, so either learn to keep the paddle in the canoe, learn how to make paddles from almost anything, or learn to enjoy new scenery.

All of us, or at least all of us who can admit to having made a mistake without going through all sort of contortions, have found ourselves in this body of water at one time or another. How long we stay there is entirely up to us. Many folks spend a day or two whining about it before they’ll condescend to admit they need help, then wait to be rescued. Others enter the state of Denial, where nothing is anybody’s fault, and I’m not lost anyway. These folks will spend an inordinate amount of time justifying why they aren’t looking for a new paddle, then borrow one from their neighbor, and never return it. Still others will maintain that this was where they intended to go in the first place, and insist that they are to be put ashore and left alone, so they can walk back to civilization without being seen. And a very few will look around, chuckle at their own ineptitude, and proceed to fashion a paddle out of nearby vegetation.

The difference between all of these folks is one of attitude. One can accept reality and deal, or one can fear it, and spend all their time finding ways to avoid dealing. So, when people tell me they think my attitude stinks, I just say to them, “I don’t have an attitude problem–it’s supposed to be like this.”, smile gently, and go merrily on my way……
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“There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.” — Harvey Wheeler

Several days ago, I wrote a couple of paragraphs about overpopulation, wherein I made reference to experiments on rats that had been conducted that, in summary, concluded this exact point, to wit: overcrowding induces violence. Those experiments have also been performed with humans, and other animals, as the subjects, and all of them show the same characteristic when under the stress of overpopulation. Normal species behavioral patterns become disrupted, and unpredictability becomes the norm. Unfortunately, the word “irrefutable” continues to be called into question by fundamentalist religious mavens, political pundits on the extreme Right, and the usual complement of fat cats who believe they are immune to the problems afflicting the rest of society.

It’s not clear to me just why these folks prefer to bury their heads in the sand over this issue; it’s not as if the proponents of the concept are not willing to listen to argument, or adjust the theory in light of evidence. But those who would deny these “facts” will not listen, or even discuss, any alternative viewpoints, convinced as they are of their own infallibility. At least the rest of us can always say that we tried to share the Truth with them; we just can’t make them believe it…….
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Eat less and chew well.
Ride less and walk often.
Have fewer clothes and launder often.
Worry less and work harder.
Waste less time, and continue to learn.
Talk less and listen more.
Frown less and laugh often.
Speak less and act more.
Blame less and praise others.
Take less and give a hundred times over.
— Kenzo Futagi, describing the secrets of life.
— He lived well over a hundred years.

I like this for its simplicity. And for the valuable information shared by this gentleman, to which his age lends an air of credibility, proving its pertinence by evidence of his longevity. One could do worse than to take this and try to make it part of their own outlook on life. It’s pretty obvious that it can’t hurt…….
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I’m not sure, but he seems to be inordinately fond of beetles.
— J.B.S. Haldane, — when asked what has the study of biology had taught him about the Creator

— WHY GOD WILL NEVER GET TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY

1. Only published one book.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. He did not publish it in referenced journals.
5. Some doubt He even wrote it Himself.
6. He is not known for His cooperative work.
7. Sure, He created the world, but what has He done lately?
8. He did not get permission from any review board to work with human subjects.
9. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning all the subjects.
10. When sample subjects do not behave as predicted, He deletes the whole sample.
11. He rarely comes to class-just tells His students to read the Book.
12. It is rumored that He sometimes lets His Son teach the class.
13. Although He only has 10 requirements, His students often fail His tests.
14. He expelled His first two students for learning.
15. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
— faculty members at Kansas State University — instructors at Allen County Community College

Not being one to gild a lily……onward….
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Happiness is a state of mind.  Not happy?  Change your mind.

I’ve studied a lot of different religions and philosophies during my lifetime, and have naturally come to some conclusions about what I’ve learned. One of them is this: almost all religions and philosophies have points of similarity, where the beliefs of one are echoed in the other. This is one of those ideas that all espouse, and can be recognized by the very simplicity that lends it infinite depth. This is such a basic concept that its subtlety makes it difficult to comprehend. “Not happy? Change your mind.” How brilliantly simple this is! So simple it’s hard to assimilate.

Like all of the most profound truths, this concept is so simple that it appears complex. But it is one of the most powerful of all the tools we humans possess, a strong ally in our struggle to achieve contentment and inner peace in life; utterly simple, and utterly powerful. The ability to change ourselves is in reality the only real power we have in this world; the ability to do so allows us the freedom of choice, in a universe that is completely indifferent to our comfort, or to any of our needs. With this power, we can avoid a lot of pain and anguish in life, the kind of pain that comes with being forced into a certain pattern of behavior by the demands of reality. Instead, we can assume control of how we feel, and how we react to difficulties in our lives. It’s good to have some kind of feeling of control over our own fate; it’s not something that is included in the package we are issued at birth……
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“… not picked from the leaves of any author, but bred amongst the weeds and tares of mine own brain.”– Thomas Browne

“An ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own.”  — William Shakespeare (1564-1616), As You Like It — Act v, Sc. 4

Today’s Pearls of Virtual Wisdom were inspected by the quality control committee in my brain, and found to be acceptable for publication. The two quotes above these lines are your guarantee that all of the comments herein were created in my own feverish little collection of grey matter; the universe at large takes no responsibility for any consequences resulting from the consumption of these concepts, and urges you to read with caution. Ideas can be dangerous in the hands of the wicked or the ignorant among us…..always consult a professional before ingesting any information with which you are unfamiliar.

“Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test.” — Calvin

Enough tom-foolery for one morning. I’m gonna go see what kind of trouble I can get into today. Y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Brown Apple Betty for President….

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Ffolkes,
I’m up, but I don’t think I’d like to commit myself beyond that. My brain is mushy this morning, and I don’t really feel up to making it work very hard yet. Too much payday stress yesterday; I really do hate money……..So, instead of commenting on each selection, I will merely gather a group of excellent Pearls, that will stand alone today, and work their magic in their own inimitable style. Remember to keep an open mind; trying to assimilate some of these without one could cause serious injury, and I am not liable for that, should you choose to ignore this precautionary step…….be especially cautious with the quote from Thoreau; the mental images it could create if you are unprepared could sear your eyeballs shut permanently….

Though man a thinking being is defined,
Few use the grand prerogative of mind.
How few think justly of the thinking few!
How many never think, who think they do!
— Jane Taylor (1783-1824)
— Essays in Rhyme, (On Morals and Manners, Prejudice, ) Essay i, Stanza 45

“The mind I love must have wild places, a tangled orchard where dark damsons drop in the heavy grass, an overgrown little wood, the chance of a snake or two, a pool that nobody’s fathomed the depth of, and paths threaded with flowers planted by the mind.” — Katherine Mansfield (I can only wish that my mind would assume these dimensions…..)

Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Hobbes: Isn’t your pants’ zipper supposed to be in the front?
–(Bill Watterson, “Calvin and Hobbes”)

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.” — Anne Bradstreet

“It is an interesting question how far men would retain their relative rank if they were divested of their clothes.” — Henry David Thoreau

The glory of creation is in its infinite diversity.
And in the way our differences combine to create meaning and beauty. — Dr. Miranda Jones and Spock, — “Is There in Truth No Beauty?,” stardate 5630.8

“As a candidate for national elective office the most dangerous thing you  can do is say something during the campaign that the people might remember.” — Eugene McCarthy

What is a good man but a bad man’s teacher?
What is a bad man but a good man’s job?
If you do not remember this, You will get lost,
No matter how intelligent you are. It is the great secret.
— Lao Tzu
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I hope you have enjoyed today’s missive; at least you didn’t have to put up with a large portion of my drivel. See, silver linings everywhere!….. Y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Partial hydrogenation, beloved by kings….

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Ffolkes,
Awake, by the rush of creation, bold, and gravid with possibility. Still alive, still standing, bowed and bloody, yet upright, the dawning day pulls us into the stream of time, once more to garnish existence as if a flower. Let us be on, ever to seek, seldom to find……

“The Meaning Of Life: The reason that we’re all here is that it was too crowded where we were supposed to go.” — Steven Wright

You gotta love Steven Wright. He has the type of mind that perceives a radically different universe than the one you and I inhabit most of the time. He shares this characteristic with a couple other cartoonists, such as Gary Larson, who creates “The Far Side”.

Actually, one of Larson’s ‘toons remains my favorite answer to the question of the meaning of life. At the peak of a mountain, the holy sadhi sits. A young seeker crouches at his feet, and awaits the bestowing of wisdom with bated breath. Hearing the question “Why are we here?” he answers, “We were purchased on credit, never paid for, and are being returned one by one.” Perfect! Just the right amount of mustard…..
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The love of praise, howe’er conceal’d by art,
Reigns more or less, and glows in ev’ry heart.
— Edward Young (1684-1765)
— Love of Fame, Satire i, Line 51

One of the most misunderstood human needs is our need for the approval of others. Yet it stands as one of the most powerful motivations that we humans provide ourselves with to stimulate us to act. Many, or even most, people rationalize their need as some other, more ennobling characteristic, such as gratitude, or noblesse oblige, or almost anything, rather than admit that what other’s think of us makes any difference. We all pretend that we stand alone, and don’t need other people to make our way, while at the same time, our insecurities and unnamed fears are propelling us to actions that will garner approval.


What I would like to point out is this…..the need for approval from your mates is okay. It is a characteristic that lends itself to creating bonds between the members of your core peer group, your tribe, as it were. These bonds make the group stronger, and more able to survive. We all know that teams of people working together are capable of just about anything, whereas  our solitary efforts are limited by our capabilities in acting alone. It’s a powerful part of our makeup, this need for each other, and reaches into every corner of our lives, making us behave in ways that promote closeness, and there is really no need to dress it up in another robe. Just accept your place in society, and don’t sweat the small stuff……
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“Government corruption will always be reported in the past tense.  — The Watergate Principle

My initial reaction to this was to think to myself, “well, of course it is!”. It is a foregone conclusion that it will be reported in the past tense, for the same reason that when you are looking for something lost, it is ALWAYS in the last place you look. It really yanks my chain when people write stuff like this, and put it out there as if it were the answer to life, the universe, and everything, or at least a profound truism and one of the building blocks of reality.

But the concept described is so obvious to me, that I wonder how the author manages to feed themselves without getting food all over the table. You can only report government corruption as an event that has already taken place; if it hadn’t taken place, there wouldn’t be anything to report, now would there? And people wonder why everything’s going to hell…..
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Insanity is expecting different results from repeating the same behavior.

I believe that I have finally found some level ground on which to stand when considering the activities taking place around the country in those states that are having primary elections for the Republican presidential nomination. Having come to terms with my despair at the antics of the circus’ participants, I can now view the whole scene as the farce that it is, and no longer feel compelled to rant over the latest jaw-dropping statement from one of the candidates.

This clarity of vision was achieved by taking the above statement into account, and applying it to the political arena. Take even a cursory look at the shenanigans that are written up each day in the papers, and view them with this definition in mind. You will see, without the slightest effort, how they are all just out there, throwing stuff up into the air to see what reaction it will have, and then doing it all over again when it doesn’t have the effect they expect or desire. They are bringing up stuff that even Reagan, the century’s worst president, wouldn’t have considered, as being, you guessed it, insane…..what is scary is there are a lot of folks out there in the public who buy into this circus, and don’t even get to hear the calliope…….
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“If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.” — H. L. Mencken

No big deal here….I just thought this would be a good epitaph for a gravestone……
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“What I like is when you’re looking and thinking and looking and thinking…  and suddenly you wake up.” — Hobbes

Hobbes (and his creator, Bill W.)  will probably go down in history as one of the most profound thinkers of our time. He has a dry, sharp wit, a keen appreciation of the obvious AND the obscure, and an elegant world-view, rife with oddities and alternate perceptions. It is really a shame that he is just a stuffed tiger, and will never be allowed to run for president……

That’s enough for one day; I should get started on something more productive, but I promised my mother I would’nt always do what I should, except on Thursdays…….y’all take care out there….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

A little down and to the left….

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Ffolkes,
Putting together the Pearls for this morning’s piece for some unknown reason turned into a marathon effort. Although I don’t examine the internal process that recognizes just the right quotes or poems, it generally runs smoothly, and finding acceptable options is accomplished with a minimum of fuss. But today found me searching frantically through piles of stuff, getting more and more frustrated with each wrong choice, mumbling imprecations and studiously ignoring the passage of time. To watch me, one might believe I was being paid a significant amount of gelt to go through this; why else would I put so much effort and sweat equity into it?


Alas, I am not being paid for this, other than intangibly. I do get the pleasure of the occasional reply, telling me that someone liked what I wrote, while other times a fascinating or humorous discussion might ensue with one or another of the Pearl Drops, as those readers who receive the daily Pearl via email are affectionately known in this house. Very seldom do I get something from someone who disagrees with something written here, but it has happened, and those dialogs are appreciated as well. There is also the beneficial effect on my mind and spirit of pushing the dross out of my head in order to put it into some kind of comprehensible nonsense for publication; it’s always a good idea to not let that sort of crud build up for too long, or it can be a terrifying job to remove it.


In spite of, or perhaps because of, the difficulties faced this morning, I have managed to piece together a pretty good little group. This batch should be viewed with a slight squint, in order to see what meaning may lie around the corner from where it is actually being viewed. In fact, a lot of what I write ends up being like that, and looking at it askance can only improve your appreciation. It’s not that I like to be obscure, I just like to be obscure, y’know? It’s one of the few joys I allow myself these days, as it is relatively inexpensive…..enjoy, and don’t forget to wash up afterward…..

“It’s not denial. I’m just very selective about what I accept as reality.” — Calvin (“Calvin and Hobbes”)

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When thus the heart is in a vein
Of tender thought, the simplest strain
Can touch it with peculiar power.
— Thomas Moore (1779-1852)
— Evenings in Greece, First Evening

“The only way to compel men to speak good of us is to do it.” — Voltaire

How small of all that human hearts endure
That part which laws or kings can cause or cure!
Still to ourselves in every place ensigned
Our own felicity we make or find.
— Samuel Johnson

Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe. And what do we teach our children in school? We teach them that two and two make four and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are?

“Some writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness *positively*, by uniting our affections, the latter *negatively*, by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last is a punisher. Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one….” — Thomas Paine, opening lines of _Common Sense_ 1776 — *asterisks denote Paine’s use of italics*

Now there is an ending, with the added perspective of being a beginning. I just love juxtaposition; the word AND the deed! Whew, what a ride! Y’all take care out there….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.
gigoid
Dozer

Kowabunga!