The reason for my possible tendency to display more than the usual degree of wobble today can be directly attributed to the past 48 hours, during which the increased level of pain, the tardive dyskinesia from lacking enough medication to deal with the pain, AND, the stress level created by fighting both of them while simultaneously trying to rationalize to myself WHY I am in this condition, all peaked at once, sending me into HELL, stranding me there for hours at a time, with only short, unpredictable breaks from it all, when I could rest a bit, breathe, and try not to let the rage filling my consciousness become so strong I give in to the urge to go down to the nearest available store that sells weapons, buy a long rifle and scope, ammunition aplenty, and head out to begin hunting appropriate targets, all of whom would be easy to find, wandering around the nearest Kaiser facility…..

This is the first point where my regular Gentle Readers may begin to suspect I am in more than the usual state of anger and frustration that is, oh, so naturally engendered, by trying to deal with the insanity of a soulless multinational billion-dollar corporation, run by bankers and lawyers, who control the medical community with the insane amount of money that comes from stealing from the public, trading on their sickness and misery, charging outrageous prices for the medical care which SHOULD be the given right of every living member of any truly human society.

The sort of interpersonal interaction that is implied by the very nature of healthcare is, in my mind, one of the very reasons, possibly one of the most important of any such reasons, we humans form societies in the first place, for the advantage to be gained by living in a way which supports and encourages the well-being of every member of that society…

When I say my readers will know I am upset, it will be for the simple clue I’ve left them in two of the above paragraphs…. Note, if you will, without even thinking about it, or trying in any way to do so, each of those paragraphs (the 2nd, and 3rd after the picture) consists of one perfectly punctuated, long winded, crazily organized, but, understandable run-on sentence, covering more than one simple thought, almost as if I were ranting out loud, with my words tumbling faster and faster as they slide off my tongue, without taking a breath, for two or three minutes…. Whew! I almost need to catch my breath, and all I’m doing now is typing while sitting uncomfortably in a chair….

This sort of angst, a not terribly frequent sort of visitor to my psyche, thank goodness, is not merely enervating, while simultaneously depressing to experience, it is almost actively painful to have to deal with, for it arises from a sense of injustice, the result of having suffered harm for no good reason, other than the whim and indifference of a soulless corporate entity, whose “personhood” in the eyes of the law allows them to routinely perform acts which flesh and blood humans are proscribed, such as denying the rights of anyone, for the sake of profit.

The sheer injustice of such laws, which allow these unnatural conglomerates of resources and power to prey upon humanity, reserving the bulk of the resources, which belong to ALL of society, for their own use, to maintain their oppressive hold over the rest of their species, all for personal gain, laws which have been enacted because these same bankers, lawyers, dogma dogs, and their mindless myrmidons, in their body armor, helmets and automatic weapons of death and destruction, have been eminently successful in corrupting the courts of this country, beginning within hours of the ink drying on the US Constitution.

That assault upon the laws of our country continued right up to the middle of the 19th century, (reinforced by today’s even more corrupt judges) when pervasive influence of corrupt bankers achieved their ultimate goal, to corrupt a Federal judge so far as to grant them the boon of legal personhood, paving the way for what we see today…. Even if I CAN write a run-on sentence like nobody’s business, I can’t quite get to a point where I can be coherent in trying to describe such immensity of evil, and the crushing weight of the sheer injustice of such perverse corruption.

Gosh, I think I’ve done it again, this time to a degree hard to reconcile with how miserably I feel; how I typed this much without having my hands go numb is a complete mystery…. One so distracting, I’ve never actually gotten around to finishing the reason for today’s extraordinary level of weird and strange.

(almost sounds like a law office, doesn’t it? “Hello, this is the law offices of Weird and Strange, LLC…..”) (You DO know, don’t you, what the “LLC” behind a law office name means, right? It means they have incorporated their law offices, into a legal corporation, thus, handily claiming the rights of “corporate personhood”, much greater than those of the average, flesh-covered variety of citizen, with the complete legal authority to financially prey on society, complete with the right to lie, steal, and otherwise do whatever is necessary to maintain their chosen profit margin, no matter the cost in human suffering to their victims, er, customers….)

Funny how I keep distracting myself, isn’t it? Any who, the other part of the reason I’m in this state has to do with the time…. I’m starting today’s Pearl at oh shit. No, that’s not right; sorry, I surprised myself. I’m not sure of the exact time I started, as I was a bit blurry at the time I gave up trying to sleep through the urge to jump out of my skin, at, I think, 12:47 AM… Yes, that’s forty-seven minutes after midnight, about four hours after I finally got a sufficient handle on the pain to get to bed. It’s now 0155, a bit over an hour later, & I’ve been typing for much of that time, when not pacing around ranting to myself to give my bones a break from the chair…

So, here I am, once again driven out of bed by the completely dispassionate machinations of a soulless corporate entity, fully deserving of the name I award them as of this moment, to wit: Ultimate Assholes, for actions of deliberate evil intent, designed to manipulate me into complying with their own insane moral code, sending me into a version of physical and mental hell, simply because they want me to shell out more than I have been, putting into THEIR pockets all the money I’ve been spending elsewhere, using both the threat, and the act, of punishment for any resistance, causing in me immediate and increased levels of pain and misery, as a direct result of their exercise of power.

Later, in a few hours, I will go to the doctor’s office, at great effort and expense on my part, to do battle with them over this issue. I’m well prepared, and, by the time I get there, will be in what I know will be a full-out, incredibly huge, long-nurtured, righteous RAGE, which I will use as fuel, for the energy I need to place said rage upon their heads, and spirits, with great vigor and velocity, hopefully causing large amounts of pain and suffering, as the just reward for their stupid underestimation of me, and their intransigent insanity to believe I would stand for it…. They will, I guarantee, rue the day they decided to fuck with me….

Think I’m grandiose? Well, just be patient, and keep your eyes on the news. If they keep it up, they, and I, will end up there, for sure and for certain. I can also guarantee that they will NOT appreciate, or enjoy, the events which will put us both in the public eye…. That much, I will personally make sure of, if it kills me in the process….

I may be grandiose, but, I’m pretty sure my rage is equal to the task; they know not what they have done…. NOBODY is granted the right, or the privilege, of stepping on my rights without suffering the just consequences, which it is my intention to make as painful, if not more so, than what has been done to me… Sorry, but, a slave’s collar just never fit me very well; it chafes, terribly. I refuse, categorically, to wear one, regardless of the consequences, for me, or for the poor fool who tries to make me wear one…

(I’ve never been entirely certain as to EXACTLY what “categorically refusing” actually means, but, it certainly SOUNDS more impressive that way, don’t you think? I do….)

Fair warning….

Shall we Pearl?

“Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.” — Gene Fowler

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Since the rest of today promises to be a bit tense and stressful, lets see what we can find for a bit of fun…. Okay, well, this works….. In fact, I can’t think of a better act to suit the mood promised by today’s events…. Enjoy, ffolkes, it might be MY last chance to feel this light-hearted for a good long while….

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“Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening.  […] The average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they’re not tempted to think about any other role.” — U.S. Commissioner of Education, William T. Harris, 1889 — “The Tyranny of Government Schooling”, John Gatto, 1992

Guns, to enforce their authority; Printing, the means to spread lies and misinformation far and wide; and, most serendipitously, the Protestant Religion, that bastion of support for those who rule… This corrupt institution, by its nature, supplies a cadre of trained manipulators, conversant with the process of brainwashing the ignorant into believing a rather improbable delusional system, designed to establish, and maintain, a form of mental control over the weak-minded and ignorant, playing perfectly on their most powerful fears. These master manipulators then proceed to extend the scope of their lies to include the fostering of respect for temporal authority equal to respect for the sanctity of religious dogma.

The most common message of every religion on Earth, insidiously hidden in pious, grand-sounding lies, effectively persuades their penitents, long since convinced of their own unworthiness, into slavish submission to worldly authority, like the good little sheep they are. In reward for wearing the slave’s collar, they receive a most solemn promise of life everlasting, AFTER they die, all for the privilege of surrendering their minds and souls now…. Kind of brings the opening quote, about stupid, into stark relief, doesn’t it?…. Remember this point, it will be important further down the page.

“It’s not what you call me — it’s what I answer to.” — African proverb

Whoa! Deep waters, here, ffolkes…. While performing some system maintenance yesterday, I had to reboot the computer. Smart Bee starts up during the boot sequence, leaving itself centered in the screen as the first program of the day I view, with its first offering laid out for my perusal. The proverb you see is what I first saw, whereupon I reacted how you see in the first word of this paragraph, with shock and awe at the depth and scope of the metaphor contained in this little gem. It is, at once, a very powerful reminder of our own center, and the power which is available there for those who can use it, a form of magic to many people, but, simply acknowledgment of one’s own correct place in the universe.

The other side of the powerful meaning, hidden by its very simplicity, is how to apply that power…. There is powerful magic in knowing the true name of a thing, whether that thing is animate, or inanimate. Knowing the true name of things imparts the wisdom of knowing, inherently, the truth of any proposition, thus, the advantage of seeing the real nature of any interaction between people; in essence, it reveals motivation.

We all know, to some degree, below the level of conscious thought, how to do this. How many times have you met someone, who tells you their name, but, you can clearly see the word “fool”, or “asshole” in the depths of their eyes…. Sometimes, the true name of a person seems stapled to their forehead, or flashing in neon letters over their head, it is so obvious… Others have learned to conceal their true name behind distracting behaviors, or false displays of virtue, for the purpose of betrayal…. People are diverse creatures, thanks to good ol’ DNA, which seems to have limitless ability to combine in unique configurations, making people as unique as the word itself.

When we meet someone, we call them by certain names; sir, mister, doctor, madam, miss, etc. When we don’t exactly know their true nature. these words give us, and them, clues as to how to determine one’s best approach to the person, to meet the motivational impetus toward the desired goal, obviously, different for each. In our minds, whatever name, or word, used is likely to be influenced by our own perceptions, below the conscious, surface thoughts we have, no matter what the person’s name or title might be in their own minds. For example, when a doctor thinks of his patient, a certain set of attitudes are generated, then used as motivation, for however the doctor treats the individual.

Most often, in my experience, the doctor makes the assumption of their own inherent superiority, in knowledge, in authority, in status, for whatever reasons they have found to be comfortable for them to use as their justification/rationalization of their attitude. The patient is thus automatically placed in the unenviable position of having to deal with a person who starts with the belief in their own rightness, who intends to take control of the interaction, determining the outcome according to THEIR position’s requirements and standards.

In consequence, the patient’s own feelings, thoughts, opinions, and, in essence, their rights, are completely disregarded, as not being equal in value or importance to those of the doctor…. In short, the typical doctor assumes a completely unjustified mantle of infallibility, always dependent on the use of manipulation and control, instituting a hidden contest of wills, as it were, before interaction has even begun…. But, knowing this ahead of time is the advantage possessed only by those who can see such interaction in the harsh light of reality, knowing the true nature and name to apply to the person who has assumed an adversarial position at the outset…. most people don’t see it, whether or not they can….

To my way of thinking, this sense of automatic entitlement, especially in a physician, is not merely wrong, it is reprehensible, as it goes against the grain of everything mankind has learned about the ethics needed for doctors to do their job without falling prey to the exact issue I have described, to wit: the danger of believing in their own inherent importance, simply for being entrusted with knowledge others don’t possess, thus giving them the power to harm by their simple indifference to the rights possessed by every man, woman, and child by virtue of life.

It’s my belief, strongly held, these rights, possessed by every person alive, includes the right to make the final decisions on any issue pertaining to their own health or well-being. No other person, at all, has the right to make that decision for them, without their full agreement, given freely, without coercion or influence, nor is there ANY justifiable reason, ever, for denying that right, particularly for people who are at a disadvantage due to age, or youth, gender, or physical or mental deficiencies, i.e, the weak and afflicted. Those who deny rights to anyone are, simply, without any ethical character, and can lay no claim to any sort of honor. Their mamas and daddies would be ashamed of them; if I acted like that, my father wouldn’t have had to say a word to me. I would have KNOWN he disapproved….

In the hands of a doctor, pride and arrogance are akin to a loaded weapon in the hands of a child; they can harm without awareness, justifying it by believing the ends justify the means, the time-worn fallacy common to all those who embrace such loss of humanity. A doctor who believes in their own  omnipotence, implying their infallibility, to me, is one of the most terrifying of examples of how evil can inhabit the most talented of people, destroying all sense of connection with their own humanity, replacing it with unbridled, unassailable pride in their own position as demi-gods, possessing the power of life and death over their subjects….

Now, I am not a fool; I have proof, somewhere…. I realize that many doctors are not complete assholes; some actually do care about other people, using that motivation to help whomever they can. But, they are few and far between in today’s medical model, which is founded upon the massive sense of entitlement enjoyed by the powerful, entrenched traditions so prevalent in the AMA, and other spokespeople for the medical community.

(Doctors, you see, believe they are of paramount importance in the scheme of things, more so even than the other people who assist them; nurses, aides, technicians, secretaries, all are less powerful, and less important, in their eyes, and regard…., and please, let’s not insult ANYONE’s intelligence by suggesting such an observation isn’t obvious to the most simple minded…. In fact, if you ever want an eye-opener, ask a hospital aide, or a janitor, in a hospital, about how doctors typically treat them, when they bother to even notice their presence…. If you can find one brave enough to risk their job to tell you, it will raise your brows all the way to the top of your hairline….).

The rare ethical souls, who still remember the symbolic, yet powerfully real function of the recitation of the Hippocratic Oath, which signifies commitment to its stated principles , are too few, without any organization to be of any permanent effectiveness in reforming the current model. Generally, they don’t even notice, anyway; expediency is now standard training for all American citizens…. as encouraged by those who now own the medical community, those corporate interests who run Big Pharm, and the huge HMO and insurance organizations, who are in complete control of the AMA, working hand in glove with the agencies the government maintains to regulate our lives for us….

The big corporations LIKE the doctors thinking they are powerful; but, notice, please, who must follow COMPANY protocols, in order protect their livelihood. The corporation isn’t worried about the doctors at all, for they wear their own version of the same collar worn by the general public; it’s just more stylish, and doesn’t chafe as much, as long as they don’t concern themselves with anything like self-respect, or honor.

Many people forget when looking at modern medicine, not even doctors have anything to say about what will be allowed, and what is appropriate medical theory to hold as truth. The actual people in charge of every HMO and insurance scam, of every Big Pharmaceuticals Corporation, (Merck, Lilly, etc.), are not even trained as medical personnel; they are trained businessmen, with degrees in Hospital Management, or MBA’s from Yale or Harvard, whose ONLY goal in life is to secure as much power and money (i.e, resources) as they can before they die.

The avowed purpose of Kaiser Permanente, that corporate giant so ubiquitous here in the US and around the world, is to see that their “members” THRIVE…. Do you believe, for a moment, that idea has anything at all to do with the actual purpose behind the company’s motivation? I would suggest, the company’s primary goal is to make money; if they happen to provide some services, well and good. But, their first loyalty is to the transaction, not the parties involved in the transaction. It would seem to me, their vision statement might be more accurately read as, “Protect the bottom line, and screw the rest; it doesn’t matter who suffers if it is profitable to the company.”

If one happens to look at the policies and rules by which their “members” must abide to receive any services at all, it becomes crystal clear that the only true goal in evidence is to squeeze every bit of money they can out of each individual who falls into their grasp, in a relationship which would be more accurately defined by the word “victim”, than it is now, i.e., “members” If one needs more than merely one piece of proof of the attitude Kaiser takes toward its “members”, consider the first and second questions asked by any Kaiser employee when speaking on the telephone to a person they suspect of being a “member”….

First, one is asked if one is a Kaiser member; second, one’s Kaiser number is demanded as proof of membership…. Without that number, one may not even speak to someone who might be able to help them, unless it happens to be a sales operator, perfectly willing to sign them up as a member. so they, too, can be awarded their own number, which they are perfectly free to staple on their forehead, to smooth the process of receiving medical care from their “providers”….. Or, you can just memorize it to speed up the phone conversations, as many of the Kaiser employees have learned to skip the first question, going straight to asking for the  number, which is all they really need to identify your status as a victim, er, member….

Doesn’t it all just give you a warm, fuzzy feeling? If so, you are a perfect candidate for their particular version of slavery; perhaps they’d feel less insulted if I merely called it “indentured servitude”, but, I’m not in the habit of mincing words, though  I admit to a tendency toward some lingering resentment showing through, on those occasions when I call a spade a spade…. Hard not to, when I’m speaking about events of which I have personal experience as evidence of their veracity…. I’ve a patient man, as well as a victim, er, patient of Kaiser’s, on two different occasions, for a total of more than ten years of my life, so I am quite familiar with their continuous attempts to destroy my soul, & turn me into an obedient little slave, who hangs on the doctor’s every word as if it were a direct message from God….

I figure, those who wish to “assume the position” are welcome to do so; any and all attempts, by anyone, or, anything, to force me to do so is destined to fail. I’m too old, too fucking smart (as in, NOT stupid, or weak-minded, or manipulable by any normal means…), and too mean to ever allow any such atrocity to take place. My soul’s health, my body’s health, and my mind’s health are not separate objects to me; they ARE me….  Any decisions about my condition is MINE to make, no matter how entitled anyone else may feel they may be; I guarantee, by making such a dangerous assumption, they will be taught, at their own expense, they are wrong in their assumption. Thus, they are NOT entitled to any consideration on my part, for their safety or well-being, at all, at all….

Anyone who believes they can, or are entitled to abrogate my rights, or my own decisions about anything to do with ME, is in for a most terrible disappointment, with the added risk of pissing me off…. The last entities to do so are now enjoying the hospitality of a different dimension, and the world is no wiser to their absence than that of any other insignificant insect that has passed on to another plane…. But, it’s not my job, or my chosen duty, to prevent anyone else from making mistakes they will regret; it’s only my duty to stop them when they try to do so to me. Rest assured, I have no problem with doing so….

So be it.

gigoid has spoken…. a lot, it seems.

The pearl you see below is an interesting collection. When I started the process, my only intent was to find a subject by letting my subconscious mind let out a yell at the first one it liked…. My version of ghost-writing, so to speak….

Letting my mind coast through the quotes, the following pearls, along with a few others trimmed out for another rant on government malfeasance, seemed to go together, though the reason wasn’t readily apparent to my pain-distracted conscious mind. Later, I figured it out, but, would rather let it stand without any explanation, to see what happens…. Some of the included ideas come from sources I usually don’t find much use for, but, they fit in with this…. My version of a lab experiment, again, so to speak….

Whether or not any of this makes any sense to you, each pearl, taken individually, should, at the very least, stimulate the random thought or three (there appear to be a lot of them….), making it a worthwhile occupation for a couple of minutes of your valuable time….

So to speak…

“There is no ancient gentlemen but gardeners.” — William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet — Act v, Sc. 1

“Advice is probably the only free thing which people won’t take.” — Lothar Kaul

“Never ascribe to an opponent motives meaner than your own.” — John M. Barrie

“I came not to send peace, but a sword.” — Matthew 10:34

“The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.” — Thomas Babington Macaulay

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so.” — Proverbs 3:27

“Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.” [They make a desert, and call it peace.] — Tacitus (54-119 AD), Agricola, 30

“If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave…” — Ernest Hemingway, “A Farewell to Arms”

“Courage is the greatest of all the virtues. You cannot consistently practice any other virtues without being courageous.” — Maya Angelou

“Bow to no patron’s insolence. Rely on no frail hopes; in freedom live and die.” — Seneca

“They say you can’t do it, but sometimes that isn’t always true.” — Casey Stengel

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What a perfect pearl for the closing line! I’ll bet they said I couldn’t do it today, but, that has been shown, patently, not to be the case. Having thus defied the odds once again, in spite of the handicaps encountered by being up in the middle of what should have been my night of restful sleep, I shall take my leave, with more dignity than I imagined would be possible. Some quiet relief in there, too, ffolkes, you betcha…. Well deserved, too, after an outburst of more than 5000 words! See y’all tomorrow, if I’m not in jail for blowing up a Kaiser facility…. I guess I’ll stick to metaphorically blowing up some Kaiser employees, strictly for medicinal purposes, I assure you…. Ta, then….