Tag Archives: Shel Silverstein

Sodden reflections of ancient grandeur….

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Ffolkes,
It is always easy to give in, to give up…. Even those of us who make an effort to maintain honor and dignity in life, can find ourselves far too often in a position where life will be made easier, in a sense, by giving in to some kind of action that is less honorable than another, or less dignified, at least. For example, I’m sitting here, just allowing my mind to wander, and tears begin to form, along with a stray thought about how hard it is to get by while waiting for my SS money to start. The tears, while all-too familiar these days, are NOT welcome; I’m tired of seeing myself as broken, no matter how broken I am in reality…..

In this instance, giving in means crying because I am so tired of being unable to create much of any quality of life beyond the most basic standards. It also means accepting the weakness of spirit that is implied by the tears, that broken quality so common to those who have been grievously injured in some way. I’m not sure what it looks like from the other side, but from the inside, it is not a good feeling to feel fragile and vulnerable, especially for a big, strong man, who has always been seen as, and regarded himself as, a pillar of strength, both physically, and mentally. All my life I was a superior athlete, and a leader among my peers, intellectually and socially; now I am a recluse, living with constant pain and worry, wondering if my food will stretch to the end of the month, and weeping because I can’t buy anything for my kids for Christmas…..

This blog, and the writing of it, is what has kept me relatively sane for the past year plus that I’ve been writing on WordPress (over 560 posts now, and over 16,000 visitors…. way cool, that….). (Well, I have to add, my sanity has received a lot of bolster and support from my friends, in which I am rich…. as it includes some rather excellent people I’ve met here on WordPress, as well as my life-long friends….without them, I would truly be alone….)

Writing here affords me an area of expression that provides the stress relief I so require, and I am sure that if I had not been able to do this, I would most likely be in jail, and somebody would be dead who wasn’t scheduled to be so….. You see, there are just so many logical targets….. but, once again, that is a form of giving in, and I’m reluctant to do so any more than I already do….. Besides, I’m so broke, I can’t afford a gun, so I’d have to use a knife, and it’s so messy…. Quiet, but messy….

Bah! This is all twaddle, isn’t it? I would guess that it is okay for me to use my own feelings as a springboard to begin, but, to some extent, it almost feels like the very giving in of which I am speaking, a cheap way to find subject matter, to be sure. To me, though, it feels as if I’m being overly sentimental and weak…. and, to some degree, I am. But, I’ll be damned if I’ll feel bad about it….

I spent a lot of years feeling bad about the fact that I felt bad (it sounds a bit confusing, I know…. think about being on the inside of that thought….). One who is injured as I was tends to feel unworthy; first, for allowing the injury to occur, and then for being no longer useful for the purpose being served. It doesn’t matter at all that what was done, was done by necessity, or that it was done correctly, and well; the very fact of being injured is enough to outweigh any logical viewpoints. I’ve learned, for the most part, to not give in to that feeling, as it really isn’t a true feeling; it is one we are taught to feel, by those corporate masters who would have us work on, oblivious….guilt isn’t a natural response, it is taught….

Now, however, those unwanted feelings sneak up on me, like this, in the mornings when I am not yet alert, and send me off into an emotional morass that takes a while to dissipate. This morning, it has taken, what?…. Damn near seven paragraphs written before I feel like I’ve regained some equilibrium…. That is simply too much, and I’m putting a stop to it here and now….. Of course, my sub-conscious mind is rather stiff-necked and stubborn, and my decision may have no effect whatsoever on future outbreaks of angst in the early morning…. but, I must make an effort to control my own mind, or what is the point of having one?….. Shall we Pearl?……

“..  hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub, HUBUB, hubub, hubub, hubub.” — Zippy the Pinhead

(I knew a man once, in reality, whose entire vocabulary consisted of exactly this word, in almost exactly this cadence….. except when he got really upset, then he’d look you in the eye, and say “bastard”, as he took a desultory punch at your nose…. I loved him, dearly…. His existence, while inconceivable to the rest of us, was extremely simplified, and comfortable to him, and, in my view, was not an unreasonable response to a world he did not comprehend, a world in which he lived every moment in fear…..)
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Here is a short trio of pearls, old school style, to indicate a certain point (which, as always, is left as an exercise for the Gentle Reader….). Please note, for later reference, the roller coaster characteristics of the path from the beginning to the conclusion…. Taking notes will not be necessary, or graded….

“A little experience often upsets a lot of theory.” — Cadman

“If the King’s English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!” — Ma Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)

“Life is always like high school. Which is interesting, because high school is nothing like life.” — Jon Carroll, SF Chronicle, November 17, 1995.

Hmm….. this is interesting. I’ve noticed previously that Pearls often would take on a completely different meaning if presented in a slightly different order, on those occasions when more than one pearl is used to make a point. At times, the conclusion may be different, while other times may cause the conclusion to remain valid, while the road taken to get to that validity traveled through a different country.

This is kind of like that, except that it is so flexible, I believe it would change its face and clothing no matter which way the three quotes are ordered. In this case, I have merely inverted the order of presentation, to find that the meaning stays the same, relatively, while the path does not….

“Life is always like high school. Which is interesting, because high school is nothing like life.” — Jon Carroll, SF Chronicle, November 17, 1995.

“If the King’s English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!” — Ma Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)

“A little experience often upsets a lot of theory.” — Cadman

Same idea, basically, but it got there on a Segway, not a roller coaster….. I really do love the English language; it is so amenable to torture….. and as an inanimate entity, has no feelings to offend, nor blood to spill…. Well, I guess, given my heavy-handed writing techniques, some blood is unavoidable, but, it cleans up well with a bit of cold water and salt…..

“It is not a fish until it is on the bank.” — Irish Proverb
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Always a hedonist, I have opted today to go with one of my all-time favorite poems….

Where the Sidewalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we’ll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we’ll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

~~ Shel Silverstein
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“Beware the lightning that lurketh in the undischarged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner.” — The First Commandment for Technicians

“Is the printer plugged into the wall power socket? Is the plug wire from the wall plugged into the back of the printer?” — The First Two Questions for the Printer Help Desk Technician

“Did you try to reboot the computer?” — The First Level Help Desk Question

There are many, many more rules, of course, in the technical world, rules whose existence is necessitated by the power and scope of human stupidity. The first one above is, naturally, a corollary of Murphy’s Law of Scientific Endeavor, and one that all those of a geekish nature learn very early in life.

The second and third are indicative of my own experiences as the Computer Technician for a tax business, a large franchise with a number of offices in various cities in the region they served. I installed their networks and tax software, did trouble-shooting for the office computers and systems, set up classrooms for tax classes for taxpayers, and for new employees during the tax season. Essentially, I was their one-person Help Desk, on call for emergencies to any office. Great fun, but hard work, as they weren’t exactly the most well-trained set of managers I’d ever encountered…. but, that’s another story….

“Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other ways.” — The Seventh Commandment for Technicians

I’ve included this one, just because Smart Bee gave it to me so soon after finding the first one, above; I hadn’t known the Commandments had been codified, and didn’t know they, the Commandments, were there in Smart Bee’s database. Each, of course, is suitable as a starting point for a pearl, and together, they can provide some quality moments of laughter at the foibles of human nature we all share.

The second Help Desk question, re: the printer, is drawn from real life experience, which I obtained one time on a call to the office in V___, California. They were unable to tell me why their network printer would not print any of their files over the phone, so I had to go to the office physically to troubleshoot the unknown issue….

Upon arriving, I walked to the printer, to check if it was plugged in to the wall, and that other machines plugged into the same plug were functioning, as I would with any trouble shooting visit. All good….. I then walked over to the printer, where I found the other end of the wire leading to the plug. It was only halfway plugged into the printer, thus would NOT have supplied any power, but looked okay upon cursory examination. Problem fixed, for as soon as I pushed the plug all the way onto the receptor, the machine fired up and started printing out all of the files it had been sent….. thus certifying the veracity of Lazarus Long’s admonition, to wit: “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.”

The saving grace behind our tendency toward bozoid acts of sheer stupidity, is that it also provides us with unending supplies of laughter, at ourselves, and at this crazy world in which we live, or, in some cases, merely spend time. As the Firesign Theater noted in their performance, “I think we’re all Bozos on this bus…..”

None of us, no matter how smart, or competent, or lucky, ever escapes completely from Murphy’s influence, and there is always a reason to laugh at ourselves, if we have the grace of spirit to understand the humorous facets of our own nature. ‘Tis an old Irish proverb that tells us, “There’s no better medicine than a long sleep and a hearty laugh.” Or, it might have been, “a hearty laugh, and a long sleep.” I forget…. so sue me. Oh, crap, that tears it!….

See? Now, my own bozoid tendencies have erupted, and I’m displaying my own proof of my assertions…. Okay, I’m done… quit it. Stop laughing now, I’m done, see?  Never mind, I’ll just go away now, having completely lost all continuity, and probably, all credibility….

🙂
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It is probably a good thing that I am beginning to regard the passage of just one day as a significant victory of principle. Or, perhaps it would be clearer and more accurate to say the passage of one day without a) snapping, to the point of giving in to illegal, if entirely justifiable, homicidal urges, b) starving, or c) crying without warning or reason, can be regarded as such a victory.

In which case, I’ve already lost today, on record, so there’s no point in getting all weirded out for the rest of the day…. Here ’tis, damn near 10:00 AM, and I’ve completed today’s Pearl, not without struggle, I admit, but, completely ready to join the “done” category….. Therefore, I shall now cease rambling on, without rhyme, or reason……  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Yak butter redux….

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Ffolkes,
Thwarted! WordPress’ New Post Page thwarted my attempt to post on Thursday, 12/13/12. Three separate times I went through all the necessary steps, hit the Publish button, and proceeded to watch the damn thing drop out every bit of material in the post, save the title. Nothing that I entered into the text entry box was sent to the page, so all that shows is the title, the categories, the comment section, and the buttons. Complete malfunction ensued, destroying, or at least, refusing my 1800 plus words and two pictures, including a new original poem, sending them off to somewhere in cyberspace, to be lost forever in the internet cloud. What a waste of effort…. temporary, if I can make it so….. nonetheless, wasted time is still wasted. I suppose it could be said to be more futile than wasted, to be fair….

The above, written soon after returning from the library yesterday, in two separate stages, is pure truth, sadly. I don’t do well with futility, all in all, and it’s hard to accept missing a day due to a WP technical glitch. I noted new interfaces and buttons yesterday, and recently, which may have messed with the system somehow…. Today’s post will prove the pudding, or banish it to the trash, as may be….

This paragraph begins the new day…. fresh, and full of promise, just like a new day should be. Let us hope that the sense of promise holds true long enough for at least one event of good note to occur; it sure would be nice to have some good news for a change…. It is hard to get too enthusiastic about the chance of that happening, though, given the past’s record of disappointment in that area. Murphy, may he rot in the lowest portion of hell, has been far too ubiquitous for any such luck….. In sooth, it is getting almost comical, and would be so, if it weren’t so real, and so important to me, and my quality of life….

There are signs of improvement along those lines, but rather than jinx things, I’ll just let that go with a mention, and just say I’m glad to see any kind of change in that direction, and hope for more…. So, I saved what I produced yesterday, to post today, so I’ll make good use of my time now, and start on the next Pearl, which I haven’t decided whether to post twice today, to make up, or to just skip a day, and move on…. I guess that will actually be determined by the WP page, and whether or not it will be publishing me at all…. I really do hate technical glitches…. it indicates poorly written code, and there’s no excuse for that, to my way of thinking…. But, then, I’ve never written code, so, who knows what is real?….

This intro section has turned into a daily proof, I guess, that there is no limit to how far I can, or will, meander when I’m just blathering like this. Of course, some of this one was spit out yesterday, so it really doesn’t count that way, but, hey, it all works for me, as it gets me to the diving portion of the program, which is where I like to be…. looking for a reason to write, some excuse to get all the stuff in my head out into the world, where it might do something other than just drive me bats…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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— Bother! said Pooh, as he fried Piglet for breakfast. — Smart Bee

(Piglet, I hear, made an ill-timed humorous comment about Pooh’s “hunny pot”…..)

Oh, my! Pooh’s dark side is showing again…. In previous posts, I’ve told y’all how I discovered that Winnie the Pooh wasn’t the innocent little Bear of Little Brain that most people know and love. For years, it seems, Pooh has led a dual existence, on the one side wandering the 100 Acre Forest with his friends, undergoing simple, instructive events where no one gets hurt badly, and no one cries for long. On the other hand, in his alternate universe, Pooh makes Darth Vader look like a Boy Scout, helping grannies across the road…..

I’m sorry if your illusions have been destroyed, but, I thought you should know, as I believe that Pooh uses his faux-innocent disguise to lure attractive young children into his sphere of influence, then corrupts them in any of a thousand time-tested ways, sending them on the path to perdition, and a lifetime of pain and misery…. the evil git…. Here then, are some examples of the kind of things Pooh has been up to recently, for your education and elucidation, so that you may be warned to guard your own progeny from the depredations to which they could conceivably fall prey, by becoming fond of this extremely evil creature…. The Bear of Little Brain, and Less Scruple…. (My comments appear in parentheses after the quoted text…. just like this…)

🙂

— Bother! said Pooh, as he nuked Iraq!

(Pooh’s first term as a mercenary came during the Kuwait conflict, indicating even then his willingness to use nuclear weapons, in contravention of all treaties….)

— Bother! said Pooh, as he lobbed a grenade at the intruder.

(The intruder was his neighbor, Mrs. Graham, bringing him some mail brought to her house by mistake….)

— Bother! said Pooh, as he ordered Mr. Worf to fire all phasers.

(The other ship had just agreed to lower its shield to negotiate….)

— Bother! said Pooh, as he put on the hockey mask and started the saw.

(Oh, you didn’t know? The idea for the Freddy movies, and the other massacre movies, came from one of Pooh’s home videos….)

— Bother! said Pooh, as Eeyore mounted him from behind.

(He only said “Bother” because he had just finished mounting Roo from behind, and was tired….)

Need I say more?….. Be warned, ffolkes…..
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Danny O’Dare

Danny O’Dare, the dancin’ bear,
Ran away from the County Fair,
Ran right up to my back stair
And thought he’d do some dancin’ there.
He started jumpin’ and skippin’ and kickin’,
He did a dance called the Funky Chicken,
He did the Polka, he did the Twist,
He bent himself into a pretzel like this.
He did the Dog and the Jitterbug,
He did the Jerk and the Bunny Hug.
He did the Waltz and the Boogaloo,
He did the Hokey-Pokey too.
He did the Bop and the Mashed Potata,
He did the Split and the See Ya Later.
And now he’s down upon one knee,
Bowin’ oh so charmingly,
And winkin’ and smilin’–it’s easy to see
Danny O’Dare wants to dance with me.

Shel Siverstein
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Since the election last month, the political scene has gone typically quiet, as the politicians all figure out how to make their newly shaped garments fit. The obligatory conflict between the White House and Congress trudges on toward the next subject of dire consequence, this time the tax structures inherited from Bush, and Medicare/Medicaid. As usual, the GOP wants to take all they can away from the weak and vulnerable, and give it to Wall Street, while the White House tries to cut a piece of that out for the middle class, and tries to protect the seniors. Meanwhile, the incipient erosion of rights being silently and stealthily taken from us citizens, by BOTH parties, goes on in the background, while everyone pretends they aren’t noticing….

So, any who, I just felt somewhat nostalgic for all the outrage and energy that gets bandied about during the election months, and thought it would be a good idea to put out some little reminders of how dishonest and egregiously avaricious ALL politicians are; even the ones you like are in office for their own reasons, not for your interests. Oh, they’ll tell y’all anything you want to hear, as long as you keep voting for them, but, mark my words, they will pursue their own agenda as soon as the election is over, guaranteed…. So, remember, these “jokes” about politicians and the like (preachers/priests and unscrupulous lawyers usually fall into that category in my mind….. Besides, these days a law degree is a required prerequisite for politicians who aim for high office….) exist for one simple reason…. they’re usually TRUE….. If not strictly so, there is ample evidence that they are based on true events….

“Crime must pay, or politicians wouldn’t seek re-election.” — Smart Bee

“When you’re around it all the time, you don’t notice it so much.” — Garrison Keillor, “Lake Wobegon Days”

“So many lawyers, so few bullets.” — Smart Bee

“Election time is that period when politicians get free speech mixed up with cheap talk.” — J. B. Kidd

“It’s getting harder and harder to act weird.” — Zippy the Pinhead

(Oops, sorry, that one slipped by me…. but, then, it kind of fits, don’t you think? Okay, it can stay….)

“Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time.” — Lt. Col. Ollie North

(I must apologize again…. Ollie wasn’t a politico, but he played one in real life. I thought it rather nice of him to share his expertise and wisdom with his co-conspirators like this….)

“I’m a fellow who bleeds every time a tree is cut down.” — Ronald Reagan, Fresno Bee, 4/28/66, while Governor

“If you’ve seen one tree, you’ve seen them all….” — Ronald Reagan, while President, recorded prior to a speech he made regarding proposed environmental legislation.

“California is proud to be the home of the freeway.” — Ronald Reagan

(And he was considered The Great Communicator?….. Sure he was…. He always communicated exactly what he wanted people to believe…. when he could remember what that was….)

“Before I begin, I’d like to recite the Lawyer’s Prayer: Lord, please let there be strife and misery among your people, Lest your servant starve…” — Clonezone takes on lawyers, from “Badger”

“Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.” — Lazarus Long, from Robert A. Heinlein’s “Time Enough For Love”

Okay….. I will show mercy. Obviously, there is no shortage of jokes and general lamentations regarding these less than stellar members of society, and one begins to get a hint as to why they are so reviled among their peers. Experience is the only thing that such vituperation could spring from, and the deeper the well of that experience, the more evidence one accrues to support the accuracy of the indictment of the reputations involved. Or, more simply, where there is smoke, there is often fire…. not always, mind you, but, …. often…..
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“Work is not an end in itself; there must always be time enough for love.” — Robert Heinlein

I’m not sure why I included the last statement, even though I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment. I guess it just felt like a good closing thought…. and I’d be right in that. So, before such simple elegance gets away from me…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.gigoid

Kowabunga!

Down the slalom with the Elven King….

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Ffolkes,

Please Note: Any mental functions attempted in this area must be re-evaluated during a subsequent period. It has been discovered that standard logic works sideways in this area due to the influence of the occupant. — Smart Bee

Since this is mostly true, I decided it should be included today, before starting, with the addendum of this: logic may not only work sideways in this space, it may be wrestled to the floor and tormented beforehand, in order to keep it in the properly reserved state of activity. It is a useful tool, but tends to get pushy, and start to think it is infallible, so it must be firmly conditioned to rein itself in at the first sign of any such usurpation. Just thought you should know, so you don’t accidentally cut yourself on Occam’s Razor, which has a tendency to show itself at unexpected moments….   🙂

In this paragraph, you will find this morning’s real beginning…. The above was written last night, as that is when I found the disclaimer; it’s still the right opening for today, but, I thought I’d create a bit of early confusion, and reverse polarity, thereby switching the North pole gravitational pull to the South pole, and vice versa. Of course, the two pull gradients are identical, so you can’t tell the difference without instruments, but, hey, I’ll know….

Well, it’s obvious to me, if not to y’all, that I’ve gone ’round the bend. The waiting has finally tipped me over the edge into insanity, and now I’ve got y’all worried and upset. That may be because now you’re wondering how that will affect the Pearl(s)…… Have no fears, dears. It shouldn’t show at all…. I”m always insane, so there won’t be any significant changes to the tone or the depth of the material I produce. Hah!  Fooled ya!…..

As you can also see, I’m resorting to cliches and old methods of distraction, to try to force your minds into the mold necessary for today’s journey into the bizarre corners of gigoid’s brain. It may seem like a cheap imitation, or like I’m disrespecting y’all, but, believe me, it is for your own protection. These old methods are very stable, and help to form a protective layer around you, of a material that is the opposite of bozone, so you are safe from flying weirdnesses and random enthusiasms…. Bozone? Oh…. here’s the definition….

Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. — Smart Bee

As the dedicated scientist I am, I developed an opposite substance to the bozone, one that enhances one’s ability to absorb bright ideas, and I use it freely around here, when needed. Today, it is certainly needed, as the weird and strange are falling like rain, and my own head is firmly entrenched in some sort of odd state where nothing is real for long, and only a constant prattle will stave off the bad things that can happen. Not that prattle is unknown here….

I guess I’ve probably scared y’all enough, and we should get on with the normal (hah!) state of affairs here on ECR. Upon looking above, I KNOW it is time to get on with it…. Shall we Pearl?….
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20. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

— Instructions for life

Smart Bee puts out these little instructions every once in a while, and most of them are pretty good ideas. Both of these strike a chord in me that harmonizes with my own experience, so they make a good little start for this section, and a cogent, potentially productive pearl…..

One of the first of these I saw was Instruction #1, which reads, “Always give more than is expected, and do it cheerfully!” Now, if that isn’t good advice for success in living, I don’t know what is. It is something my own parents taught me and my siblings without ever saying a word about it. Some people in life know these rules, but many don’t; I was fortunate, as my folks did. This little piece of advice is what pushed me to become a good student, to learn all I could in school, and it is the most useful tool for school that I know of, for it provides a reason, and a method, to seek and achieve excellence in school, or anywhere, for that matter.

#20 above is a concept, and a  habit, my father made clear his entire life, and he passed that philosophy on to his sons, for sure. (I can’t speak so much for my sisters…. one left home when I was six to marry, so I’ve never known her well, and the other became estranged many years ago, for many sad reasons….) I can’t speak for my brothers, even though I know they got the message, but this particular little idea has helped me countless times in my life, both to minimize the effects of a mistake, and to repair those effects. It is also a technique that other people note in us, one that increases trust and goodwill. One can’t possibly have too many ways to do that….

#21 This one is subtle, but effective. What it says is absolutely true; the caller will know when you smile, and I would guess that in 99% of all calls, the caller will immediately return the smile, as well as soften whatever tone they intended to use. I’ve actually seen it happen to others when speaking on the phone; you can tell when the other end is a happy person, as the one they are speaking to lights up in turn, eyes widening, lips curling, and words becoming more lighthearted. I’ve also experienced the feeling of hearing someone smile at me over the phone, and let me tell you, nothing feels better, especially if the person you call is important to you….

I could spend a long time laying out the ways these rules can help one achieve the kind of serenity in life that we all seek, but, they are really just as effective just by themselves, without any enhancement (if one could describe what I say as such….), so I’ll leave it here. As Smart Bee reveals more of these little gems, I’ll share them, because they are good to have handy…..

Listen to the MUSTN’TS child,
Listen to the DON’TS
Listen to the SHOULDN’TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVE’S
Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

— Shel Silverstein
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If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again
I shall not live in vain.

~~ Emily Dickinson

Yesterday, at the library, I found a book of the collected works of Emily Dickinson, and I am in heaven! For the next few weeks, I’ll be picking out the best of what I find there to share. I regard Emily as arguably the best poet that ever lived, and can only feel happy that she left 1775 verses of what she termed her “letter to the world”. Already, I’ve been impressed and astonished all over again by the depth of insight she possessed, and by the simple clarity of her poems, and look forward to reading every one of those poems before returning the book…. Hopefully, you will appreciate what I share with you as much as I do…. except for Shawna, who can’t get into Emily…. S’okay Shawna, I’ll have other stuff, too…. Enjoy!….
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One day a gate breaks down between heaven and hell. So St. Peter arrives on the scene and calls out for the devil.

And the devil saunters over and says, “What do you want?”

And St. Peter says, “Satan, it’s your turn to fix it this time.”

And the devil says, “I’m sorry. But my men are too busy to worry about fixing a mere gate.”

And St. Peter says, “Well, then, I’ll have to sue you for breaking our agreement.”

And the devil says, “Oh yeah? Where are you going to get a lawyer?”

— Soupy Sales

It occurs to me, Soapy’s next line from St. Peter would have to be…. “I don’t need one, I’ve got a fix in with the judge….”  That would give not only balance to the argument, but would accurately reflect the actual level of corruption implied in the picture of the universe painted by the Judeo-Christian model of religion. It would also probably more closely reflect Soapy’s sense of humor, which was much more pointed than he got credit for…. People just thought he was a little strange sometimes, not recognizing lines that were making active fun of the establishment (as we old hippies were wont to call the mainstream of American society…..).

In reality, this joke is another example of the bad press that the Devil always gets; it isn’t often you’ll see a joke that ends up with Satan coming out on top. No, he is always given the role of the asshole, the manipulator, the one who wants to drag us down into Hell for eternal torment. Everyone seems to forget that they have ascribed omnipotence, and omniscience to God, and that He is the one who a) made the Devil the way he is, and b) could change it if he wished…. which seems to indicate that he DOESN’T wish to rid us of Satan, but prefers he be around to tempt and distract us…. That sounds to me like just a bit of manipulation in itself; how ’bout y’all?….

The preachers would have us believe that God allows Satan to exist out of his sheer benevolence, forgetting this is the same God who, in the Old Testament, sent forty bears to a town to kill all the children, just because a few small boys made fun of one of His prophets. He is also the one who threw Satan out of Heaven for objecting to some of what He had done on Earth, then turned around and allowed him free access to us humans, just so He would have a ready-made way to test us at His convenience. Just a little self-serving, don’t you think? This God, to my way of thinking, acts more like a spoiled little kid than a deity capable of creating universes…..

Okay, I’ll quit now. It’s really too easy to shoot at dogma; it never tries to hide, and just stands there, looking dumb, as you sight in on its forehead. But, hey, it’s a necessary job, and somebody’s got to do it…. Boy, it sure would be nice, though, to see humanity grow up, and learn to face reality without crutches, and without having to invent a supernatural being to explain away the stuff that isn’t clearly understood…. But, I guess it is job security, in that sense, because it means I’ll always have something about which to write….

“I’m RELIGIOUS!!  I love a man with a HAIRPIECE!! Equip me with MISSILES!!” — Zippy the Pinhead
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I was right to give warning in the intro…. without it, this could conceivably create some serious psychopathy among the readership, and who knows how many lawsuits? Thank goodness for disclaimers, eh? All in all, I’m happy with it, though. If nothing else, it shares the primary characteristic of any good Pearl, to wit: it is done. Caveat emptor, as they say…. whatever that means. I’m heading off into the Big Blue Room in a while, so I’ll leave this now, and hope it flies as well as it crawls….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

When budgies sing, eagles sigh…..

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Ffolkes,
“I know I’ve asked this before, but, tell me, what happens to the wide-eyed observer when the window between reality and unreality breaks and the glass begins to fly?” — Smart Bee

A little prophetic license is good for the soul, especially in the night ahead of the morning to come. Let us play no sad tunes, now, when we have so much about which to be happy. All is not lost, said the man with all his data backed up….. Too bad that isn’t me…. For the nonce, gute nacht….

Now it is morning for real…. It must be, because I’m confused and dismayed, a sure sign of the rising of the sun. Not that I live in a depressive world or anything like that…. It’s more like a cartoon world most of the time….. Just make sure when you draw the cartoon, you include some sort of representation of Murphy; he likes to be acknowledged for his work. And, right now, he’s working overtime on my account, to be sure…..

A few days ago, I dropped my laptop, at the coffee shop, and it took a hard fall to the tile floor, right out of my backpack, as I was taking it off prior to sitting down & booting up. It behaved okay then, booting right up & acting normal, but in the last three days, it has been playing fast and loose with normality, giving me fits. First, it doesn’t recognize my password, and boots up into a new user interface. So, I restart, and it hangs. Finally, on the third try yesterday, it booted up…. only to find that Smart Bee was corrupted again. Fine….. I uninstalled it, reloaded it, and it is now fine. Now this morning, it is acting strange again, changing the boot sequence, hanging, and generally acting as if its innards are scrambled…

Noooooooo! I can’t take it. Don’t take my computer away from me, not yet. I can’t afford a new one; hell, I haven’t finished paying for this one yet. Please, gods of computers, and Murphy, leave me the fuck alone for another few weeks, please…. Once I get my SS money, then I can afford to back this computer up with another one, but, if it goes out before then, I am up shit creek without the proverbial paddle, for sure and for certain…. THAT would not be a good thing, as it would put me at extreme risk of hurting someone, should they poke at me at the wrong moment….. Since Murphy is the Universe’s biggest coward (he never sticks around to help people clean up his messes, and he never takes responsibility for his actions…. QED….), and won’t face his victims, somebody else would be in jeopardy of answering for his doing this to me…..

I have no choice but to go on as if nothing is amiss….. the Pearls must go out….. I will be crossing fingers, toes, and eyes to make sure the damn thing keeps working, but, if you don’t see me for a day or two, know that I am down, offline, kaput, and won’t be posting every day as I have been. I can post, but it will require some time on the library’s computers, which can be hard to book when busy. Ah well, wish me luck, ffolkes, as I try to keep my world from falling apart, infrastructurally….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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As I suspected, the news has become a desert….. Since the election settled so many questions that had been paramount, there has been virtually nothing going on that is worth any outrage, and certainly nothing that would stimulate enough angst to produce a rant. The Republicans are all walking around shaking their heads, and wondering where they went wrong, or trying to fool the public into believing they are going to cooperate with the administration (a load of crap if I ever heard one….), and the Democrats can’t stop grinning long enough to get anything done yet…. It’s like watching a video of a particularly exciting Sunday School class….. pretty enough, but boring as hell….

A few items worth discussion have come up…. There is more noise being bandied about regarding gun control again, as I see some folks posting statistics about guns and people getting killed…. What, did they think that all of a sudden, after the election, human nature was going to change? It always amazes me how much outrage, and surprise, people seem to exhibit when another atrocity killing is brought out by a news outlet. People are going to lose their cool, and their control…. that is a fact of life, and a law of nature. It isn’t ever going to change, and wishing otherwise is a fool’s game. In addition to this fact is another…. guns are real. When they are used to kill, it is not as if the gun is responsible, yet people seem to think that allowing the government to regulate who can have guns, and who can’t, will somehow stop all that from happening. It won’t, and thinking it will is the worst sort of self-delusion….

“Gun Control – the belief that government, with its great wisdom and moral superiority, can be trusted with a monopoly on deadly force.”– Smart Bee

Smart Bee has hit upon the main argument against gun control as desired by the idiots who think it will help. Sorry, don’t mean to be derogatory, but it is undeniable, inarguable idiocy to think that the government is capable of controlling itself any more than individuals can; what evidence is there to even hint as much? None, none that can be seen, because there is none that can be produced. If you think that the government has even the slightest intention of using such a monopoly with restraint and integrity, well, then, you are in some serious deep shit in your mind, and seriously need to consider therapy.

Hell, just take a look at recent statistics as to how many civilians have been gunned down by corrupt cops…. it may surprise you to see that the numbers are at least equal to, if not greater than those attributed to civilian citizens. In the town I live in alone, there have been at least seven civilian deaths at the hands of police with guns, just this year, and this is not a particularly large town, nor a particularly violent one.

“Most people seem to think that trampling individual rights is OK if it is “for the good of society as a whole.”  However, society is but a large number of individuals, and how can harming the individual parts better the whole?” — Andrew Ford, forda@agcs.com

Hearing a government official claim that by restricting a right it is good for society as a whole is, to me, the very same as hearing someone wearing robes and a conical, comical hat, claim they are looking out for ‘my’ interests over their own…. I’m not gonna buy it, not now, not ever. There is NO TIME when it is acceptable to restrict an individual’s rights, unless their exercise of that right is denying the rights of another. Doing so is entering the slippery slope that leads to the loss of that right. The good of society does not lie in that direction, but rather in a direction that protects that right, and all of the others we were left as our legacy.

Hearing someone say they are acting “for the good of society” reminds me of the thief saying he is taking my things “for my own good”….. it doesn’t compute. Nor would I trust it if it did…. I may be a cynic, but in this case, I’m right…. The beloved ruling class is NOT going to look out for your best interests, or mine…. No matter how often they say they are, or how often they try to convince you, they are NOT going to do that. They are trying to control you, and screw you, and unless you hold on to your rights, and protect them with your own gun, then they will continue to try to take them away…. Sad, but true….

“Sure, understanding today’s complex world of the future is a little like having bees live in your head.  But there they are . . .” — The Firesign Theater, “I Think We’re All Bozos on this Bus!”

I have made friends with the bees in my head, and they know that I am armed and dangerous, to anyone who tries to convince me that our beloved ruling class has my best interests at heart. They don’t, and I know it, and continued attempts to try to convince me otherwise are not only doomed to failure, but are likely to prompt a response they wont’ be expecting, and one they will regret…. If so, well, all I can say is “just desserts”….
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What If

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I’m dumb in school?
Whatif they’ve closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there’s poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don’t grow taller?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won’t bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don’t grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

~~ Shel Silverstein
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I’m feeling curmudgeonly this morning, but also quite lazy. Therefore, old school pearl…. Here is another one that jabs a pointed stick in the eye of religion, as is fairly common ’round these parts….. All of these historical figures, and modern authors, had something to say on the subject, but all in a slightly different way…. which is what makes life interesting, right? Right…. Enjoy, and pay heed, because otherwise those preachers, they’ll getcha…. and they won’t let go…..

“Human, do you know how interesting it is, this thing you describe? Avata does not have a god. How is it that you have a god? Avata has Self, has the universe. But you have a god. Where did you find this god?” — Frank Herbert

“Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane — like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell — mouths mercy and invented hell — mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man’s acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!” — Mark Twain, _The Mysterious Stranger_

“In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.” — Pliny the Elder

“History records no more gallant struggle than that of humanity against the truth.” — whoever Google says it was, if not Smart Bee…

“I believe that ideas such as absolute certitude, absolute exactness, final truth, etc. are figments of the imagination which should not be admissible in any field of science…This loosening of thinking seems to me to be the greatest blessing which modern science has given us. For the belief in a single truth and in being the possessor thereof is the root cause of all evil in the world.” — Max Born

(As perfect proof of this particular assertion, I offer the following unattributed piece of nonsense, that nevertheless is probably one of the most revered items of dogma in many Christian cults…..)

God didn’t call them the 10 suggestions! — Unknown fundie

(If you can’t see how WRONG this statement is, in so many different ways, I have a great deal of pity for you…. Reality is going to really work you over…..)

Under Alabama law, the wearer of a false mustache in church who causes unseemly laughter is subject to arrest.– Smart Bee

Well, there you go…. It all will make sense….. maybe if you just play it backwards….
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Now, this is a Pearl of unusual construction, and more unusual format. Oh, not much is changed, but, enough that I felt the difference as I was trying to put it together. But, it is not really worth discussion, so we’ll ignore it altogether, and get on with the day…. Some might say I’ve held it up long enough as it is…. Not that I care what folks say, much…. only certain folks, which is as it should be, for all of us….. Since I don’t have any idea how to proceed from here, I’m going to have to bring this to a close, as is…..   Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Poorly constructed fuzzy bears sold here….

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5

Ffolkes,
Provided the reports I heard last night are true, the election proved to be just what I’d hoped… a solid victory in the name of Reason. As of 9:00 PM, the report I got from a friend with a TV, said that Obama had won the election, with enough electoral votes to secure the win, and ample extra to provide a mandate from the people. I am hopeful the final count of the popular vote is equally weighted, and that a significant majority of the people who voted gave the mandate to the President, to continue trying to repair the damage done by the last 25 years of Republican piracy.

Even if the vote is closer than I hope to see, I imagine the attempted fraud on the part of the Republicans will be unearthed (I understand there is already some video proof circulating on Facebook of voting machine tampering on their part in Pennsylvania….), and hopefully, prosecuted to the full extent of the law. One can hope…. but, I’ll be satisfied with just knowing the danger, if not past entirely, is at least mitigated for another four years….

I’ve now read the morning papers, and feel a bit better. Obama’s victory is confirmed, and the immediate danger is past. However, I was appalled at the sheer number of IDIOTS in this country who voted for Romney; it is clear that if the whites in this country were not now in the minority, the story might have been different. Fortunately, they are not in the majority any longer….

It was also appalling to learn that there were actually small percentages of blacks and Latinos who actually voted for the Republican liar; I can’t imagine WHAT they were thinking, when he made it so obvious that he hates and fears both groups. I also have a hard time understanding why a single woman would vote for a man who so obviously hates them….. I guess it just goes to show the depths to which human stupidity can take someone who makes no effort to determine the truth, or is in denial of that truth….

If 150,000 people do something really stupid………it’s still stupid. — Smart Bee

Or, in the case of yesterday, right around 50,000,000 (fifty million) people provided proof positive of their stupidity…..So be it…. The Republicans somehow managed to maintain their majority in the House, so we can look forward to another four years of them blocking every attempt to make any progress in easing the burdens of the middle and lower classes, and placing a fairer share of those burdens on the people who can afford them, i.e. the 1%….. Only time will tell if any of the attempts to curtail their blatant elitism, and mitigate the damages that catering to them has caused over time, have been at all effective. For us bloggers, it promises to provide a wealth of material over the next few years, as the ongoing battle between the classes continues to wage….

For now, though, some of the tension is released, and I feel better knowing that this particular issue, of the forces of evil threatening to usurp the White House, is now on hold for another four years. So much better, I think it must be time to go for a dive, and see what we can come up with for an interesting discussion today…. Shall we Pearl?…..
__________________________________

Originally this morning, I had intended to write something less controversial here…. but, Smart Bee is being a bit recalcitrant this morning in coming up with suitable stuff…. so, I’m going ahead with this discussion of religious thought, even though I was trying not to be so sober today….SIGH…. “The best laid plans of mice and men, etc….”  Such are the mysterious ways of Smart Bee….

I believe in god, I just don’t like him. — Smart Bee

Now, here is a concept I can get behind…. I am often unsure of how to express my own beliefs about the idea of a God, or god,  capitalization depending, I suppose, on one’s sense of reverence regarding same. All the twaddle I was taught in Sunday School was an obvious pack of lies; even at age 5 I was unconvinced of the stories they told me. None of them seemed any more real, or plausible, than the cartoons I watched on Saturday morning, and there was certainly no bloodshed in the cartoons…. mayhem, yes, bloodshed, no…. But, the story of the crucifixion is enough to give even the most ghoulish of child nightmares, for sure and for certain…. What were they thinking?….

But, the statement above goes along better with what I would like to believe (which is no more, and no less, than any other human…. believing what we’d LIKE to believe is always more attractive than what MIGHT be true…. neither of which necessarily has anything to do with what is actually REAL….), because most of the stories and lessons we heard as children about God make him out to be a petty, narcissistic, vindictive asshole, to be quite frank. Well, there is that, plus, most of the preachers, to me, seemed to me to be much more interested in other people’s business than their own, with many of the same characteristics of their ignoble so-called creator. None of them were much of a recommendation to me as proper examples of what a good man should be, and none of what I heard about god, or God, put (H)him in that category, either.

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” — Jesus Christ (Gnostic Gospel Of Thomas, Saying 70)

Or, better out than in…. so to speak. Which, as you know if you’ve been reading here previously, is something I believe in wholeheartedly….. Jesus, for me, falls into a similar category for me as God, or preachers…. kind of in limbo regarding all the stuff that was, and is, said about him. He was obviously a real historical figure, and not a mythical supernatural being, and as such his words and actions were recorded for posterity. The accuracy of what was written is, to say the least, questionable, if for no other reason that he spoke Aramaic as his primary language…. that is pretty well established.

What many fail to consider is this…. in order for us to hear his words, we have to hear what was translated through at least four or five languages, from the original Aramaic, which is a language no longer spoken anywhere. First, it would have been translated to Latin, or possibly another middle eastern dialect of the time, then into Latin. Then it was translated to probably Italian, French, and Spanish; then into German and, possibly, its first change into English, back when it was still considered to be Middle English…. the first King James version didn’t occur until well after the Renaissance period.

So, my question is this…. how much of the original meaning of his words came through into the English translation? It’s funny, but when, as a teen, I asked this of my pastor, all I could get from him was that, because the words were inspired by God, then the meaning would have been accurately translated by all those different people, as they were doing God’s work…. which, even then, made me go, “Hmm? Could you explain that again, in English, with something, anything, that approaches an answer?” (This was before I spoke Spanish, or German, or anything else but English….)

That seems to be a problem with preachers/priests… they tend to lump everything into the same mold, and expect us to believe that what they say is true, even though there is no direct evidence to support any such twaddle. “The Bible says God said it, I believe it, and that’s the end of it!” seems to be their logical train of deduction, even though there is no logic, or deduction, to it. I wasn’t born in Missouri, but, you’ve got to SHOW ME the evidence before I’ll waste my time trying to place any belief into such grandiose ideas. When one of the church minions asks me, sarcastically, if I expect God to send me a telegram, I usually reply, “Well, that WOULD be more persuasive than expecting me to take it on your word, now, wouldn’t it?”  Idiots….

“God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters.” — H.L. Mencken

This attitude, the elitist idea that those who believe are somehow superior to those who do not, is one of the root causes of most of the trouble our species is having today. The insane attitude that this planet, and all the other creatures on it, was placed here specifically for our benefit and use, is responsible for all of the pollution that continues to pump into the ecosystem, for all the abuse and chauvinism against the other life forms who live here, and for a great number of the social issues, such as poverty, racism, misogyny, and violence, that plague us as a culture.  We are not only NOT the masters of creation, we are not even qualified to be our own masters; we cause ourselves as much trouble as we do the rest of creation, if not more, all because religionists insist that those who believe them are good, and everyone else is bad…. a stupid idea at best.

“God made Man to his image and likeness, and Man, being a gentleman, returned the compliment.” — Voltaire

Hence, my lack of faith in the nonsensical claptrap that the various religions attempt to pass off as truth. Reality, to me, is scary enough, without the idea of some insane supernatural creature, sitting up in some fanciful Utopia, looking down and giving a rat’s ass about what I’m doing with my life. It just doesn’t make any sense to me to try to visualize a god…. by the very definition of the beast, they cannot be imagined by a creature of lesser scope…. and telling me that you have a direct line to God, and know what he wants me to do with my life, only makes me wish I could order your new medications personally…. Oh, didn’t I mention it? We now have medications that will keep people from believing delusional material, or at least keep them from acting on those beliefs before thinking about them at least a bit….. but, who’s going to give it to a priest, when the doctor believes the same bilge?

Now that I’ve alienated any number of true believers out there, I guess I’ll let this discussion die a natural death. I could obviously continue indefinitely, but, the rest of the day calls, and I should get to it…. If you have any thoughts on these conclusions of mine, please feel free to leave them in the comments section below…. and remember, please, the rules of engagement prohibit outright flaming on this site…. Confine name-calling to short, impersonal epithets, and please, include some logical thought in your responses, as neglecting to do so wastes my time, and everyone else’s…. I don’t mind being called a fool, but, as I said, let’s see your evidence….

“I find your lack of faith in the Force disturbing….” — Darth Vader (Star Wars)
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The Little Boy and the Old Man

Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man, “I do that too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
“But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
“I know what you mean,” said the little old man.

~~  Shel Silverstein
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“I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community, and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.  I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live.  Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me.  It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” — George Bernard Shaw

Now, THAT is a good attitude toward living! Carpe diem, and all that, don’t y’know? I like to think that I approach life in much this same manner, even though I have my moments spent in depression and despair; those moments I consider to be anomalous, and not fully representative of my take on life in general. Many people may not feel this way, and I cannot disparage them for that, as living often requires more of our attention that can be spared to make sure we are positively motivated; it’s not easy to get by in this world, and maintaining a positive outlook can become secondary to just having the wherewithal to do anything at all.

But, George points out a pretty good way to think about it, even if one hasn’t the time or resources to fully appreciate, or apply, the principle as given….. As such, it joins a number of other viewpoints of famous historical figures, all of whom had advice to give to people about how to live well…. below you will find several of these suggestions for living life as well as one is able to live….

“Believe nothing merely because you have been told it… Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher.  But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings — that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide.” — Buddha

“Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.” — Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-1895)

“Honor has not to be won; it must only not be lost.” — Arthur Schopenhauer, Parerga and Paralipomena

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don’t try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
— Tao Te Ching

“A wise man first determines what is within his control; all else is then irrelevant.” — Epictetus

Well, there you go…. now, all you have to do is put all of this into practice…. sounds like fun, eh?….
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Another day, another post…. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was getting pretty good at this…. We all need to have our little illusions in life, so, remember what has been said so often, in so many ways…. It’s all good….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Banyan trees make good umbrellas….

Posted on by
3

Ffolkes,
How, then, shall we greet the day? With burly confidence and positive mien, shrugging aside all discomforts and obstacles, working hard to produce the finest prose/poetry that abides within me? Or, with heavy emotions and grim countenance, shall I unmask the evil minions that seek to drag us down, posing as ministers of Heaven? Or, should I explore the depth and beauty that lives in every act of compassion between people, holding up for review the finer characteristics of our nature, inspiring all with sacrifice. SIGH…. there are times when having so many things about which to write can be a problem in and of itself…. when one is struck with ambiguity, making a choice is complicated by how we FEEL about what is written….. a dilemma common to all writers, I would imagine….

I have read, in many, many novels, how writers say they hate it when they are asked about how they know what to write…. I can relate, in the sense that I JUST DON’T KNOW…. Often, even mostly, I don’t have any idea why I write something, until after I’ve written it. I tend to see a quote, or an idea, and just jump in, giving my own unique take on whatever it is. I don’t stop to ask myself why that particular subject grabbed my attention, or why one idea may stimulate a rant, while another may cause a poem to leak out. I don’t know about other writers, but I refuse to even examine that entire aspect of the writing process; I feel, somehow, that if I look at it too closely, it will just disappear altogether, and I will never again be able to decide ANYTHING about which to write…. and I’m not willing to take that chance…..

Now, whether or not that is a good thing is something that I will leave up to history…. but I’m not going there, not while I’m still certain that there is more in there that needs to come out….. Writing has become as important to me as breathing; I just don’t feel right if it doesn’t happen…. It also is providing a much-needed focus of purpose at a time when I need one badly. We men don’t do well without a purpose; we tend to drift into troublesome habits when we don’t have a chosen Duty to fulfill.

Unfortunately, being retired seems to be a time when such purpose is blunted, or made hard to find, by the very fact that there are so many to choose from…. so, the fact that I stumbled into writing has been a beneficial thing for my psyche, all in all…. I also find that, since I started blogging about 18 months ago, I’ve written over a million words, and well over a thousand pages of material….. I find this degree of output to be a strong indication that I had something I needed to say….

It’s kind of like what I said to a neighbor recently, as we discussed the concept of blogging…. “For almost 60 years, I’ve had a lot of dangerous stuff running around in my head, and I kept my mouth shut…. I’m done with that…..”  On that note, shall we Pearl?…..
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How he lies in his rights of a man!
Death has done all death can.
And absorbed in the new life he leads,
He recks not, he heeds
Nor his wrong nor my vengeance; both strike
On his senses alike,
And are lost in the solemn and strange
Surprise of the change.

— Robert Browning (1812-1890) — After

Death…. “the solemn and strange surprise of the change.”  For most of my life, death has assumed no great part of my concern. Whenever I took time to consider it, from a personal point of view, my mind would skitter away after distractions, like water on a hot griddle…. Perhaps I am afraid to think about it…. if so, I would no doubt join the major part of humankind, for it is our most common experience, though not one we remember very well, and one of our least favorite to think about. It’s curious, I think, that we, who only can say for sure we are alive by noting that we are not dead, do not remember our time in that dimension of consciousness. I mean, how would we know we were alive, if we had not once been dead?….

My fear, as with us all, arises from that unknown factor, that lack of solid information on which to base our thoughts and feelings about the change we undergo when we pass on from this plane. Many, of course, choose to believe what one of the major religions will say about the afterlife, and, if it serves them to soothe their fears with faith, then, more power to them. It certainly is soothing to believe that one will be given special privileges after dying, as our lives here are often not what could be called “special” in that sense.

It is also, I’m sure, quite comforting to believe that whatever one does in this life, those special privileges will be ours, as long as we follow the subjugation protocols, to wit: acknowledge the belief, including the exclusivity of the belief, (i.e., accept Christ as the only begotten son of God, and as your savior….., or Mohammed, or Buddha, or Krishna….), whereupon, all of your sins are forgiven, and you get in to Heaven…. As I noted, a nice deal….. a lifetime of good living, without the acknowledgment, and eternity in Hell.  A lifetime of manipulation and thievery, with repentance on the deathbed, and you win the eternity lottery….. Hmm…. something is wrong with this picture, I think….

Okay, so dying makes me fearful…. but not that I’ll spend eternity in Hell. It is the fear that comes before entering any new situation, one I’ve never experienced before…. and in this case, the odds are, at the least, even that I HAVE experienced it before, since I am alive now. It doesn’t strike me as a balanced approach to assume that the time spent in the death state is eternity, when the time spent here in life is not…. It seems more logical to me that they are more balanced than that, either in a recurring pattern of one, then the other, endlessly, or something else completely beyond my current imagination.

Hey, maybe we get one shot at this, as humans, then one at death, and then we start as something else entirely, like an intelligent fungal growth on a planet in a distant galaxy….. who knows for sure? I’m not buying the stuff I’ve seen in most of the holy scriptures of ANY of the major religions…. their versions of Heaven seem to pretty boring to me, especially if one had to spend eternity there….. I don’t care how good the temperature control is, I’m not wearing those robes without pants….. and I never did like wearing sandals…. my toes feel exposed….

“I want to live forever. . .so far, so good.” — Smart Bee

It’s like Robert Heinlein had my favorite character, Lazarus Long say, in his Notebooks…. “There is no real evidence that proves life after death, just as there is no solid proof there isn’t. Soon enough, you will know, so why worry about it?” He was also insightful enough to note, “More people have died from worry than ever bled to death….”  So, relax, ffolkes, Death will be along, when the time is right…. we just have to make sure we are ready to die with honor and dignity when he shows up…..

“I’m in direct contact with many advanced fun CONCEPTS.” — Zippy the Pinhead
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I thought for a time this morning that a poem was lurking about, waiting patiently to come out, if I would only open a convenient vein…. but, all that did was make a bloody mess on the carpet…. what was in there was a joke, just fooling with me. So, you will have to settle again for whatever I can find through the judicious application of Google and my preferences in poets…. Hmm….. whom shall we subvert today?…..

Forgotten Language

Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?

~~ Shel Silverstein
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“We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prophet, nor Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among themselves about their relationship to God. But all will agree on a proposition that they possess profound spiritual resources.  If, in addition, we can get them to accept the further proposition that whatever form the Deity may have in their own theology, the Deity is not only external, but internal and acts through them, and they themselves give proof or disproof of the Deity in what they do and think; if this further proposition can be accepted, then we come that much closer to a truly religious situation on earth.” — Norman Cousins, from his book “Human Options”

This most excellent statement has saved you….. This is so clearly stated, and is so obviously truthful, I find that anything I might add to it would be merely fluffy ruffles, and would add nothing of value; therefore I will NOT use it as the basis for an interminable rant….. this time.

I would, however, just like to point out that it also is a clear explanation of why trying to achieve any sort of ecumenical feeling amongst the differing philosophies of the world’s major, and minor, religions, always proves to be problematic. It almost seems at times like they all LIKE to fight over this stuff! As noted, it is difficult merely to get them to agree about the basic tenets of their faiths that are similar, or complementary to each other; trying to get them to agree to any further likenesses seems to go against their grain, and they refuse categorically to entertain any such notions, no matter how much truth they may contain….

Ah well, I guess it goes to prove the old saw, about people always managing to pick the things in life that are the worst for them…. perverse little creatures, we are, there is no doubt….

“Our father who art in heaven..  I sincerely pray that SOMEBODY at this table will PAY for my SHREDDED WHAT and ENGLISH MUFFIN… and also leave a GENEROUS TIP…” — Zippy the Pinhead
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This has been a classically constructed Pearl, with elements of style, formatting, and attitude from a number of differing periods in the history of Exploring Consensual Reality…. it is what I like to call a “peach”, because it is so Sweeeet!  Okay, so I’m silly….. I get to see my grandson on Sunday, so I’m practicing that particular grandfatherly skill…. But, today’s Pearl, though perhaps not one of the all-time greats, is one I am content with, as it conforms to my standards of strangeness, and hopefully, wit….. If not, well, there’s always tomorrow, right?……  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Insert non-standard cliche here…..

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1

Ffolkes,

The following is the post that was intended for posting yesterday, October 18th; it was written in time, but Reality intruded to prevent me from getting to an internet access point before the end of the day…. ah well, twice in a year and a half isn’t bad…. Enjoy, and I’ll do my best to see that I get posted tomorrow as well…
Wild horses, I swore, are not getting me up early again…. but, that was before the silly beasts started in with their neighing at scream volume, and pounding hoof beats. And what is with the ropes and shit, dragging my butt onto the floor?….. Any way you look at it, I lose, it seems…. At least today, I made it to 0700 before having to give up and get up, once more in the grip of sleeplessness, and more going on in the head than I care for this early…. Ah well, I’ve had it thoroughly drilled into my awareness that Murphy gives not a sh__, er, whit for what I care for, or about…. So, off I’ll go, into Pearl land, seeking, as always, excellence and enlightenment….

Yesterday, I read a pearl, in passing, that said something like, “You know you’re getting old when…. reading the obituaries is like reading a high school yearbook….” A bit grim, I know…. but, it reminded me that such events are catching up to me, as more of my peers, from high school, and beyond, are starting to bite the dust with alarming regularity….. And, in today’s day and age, other calamities can strike without warning, bringing sorrow and fear with them….

One of my friends, the wife of my oldest friend (we’ve known each other 52 years now, since grade school, and they’ve been married for over 23 years….), was very recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and will be having a double mastectomy on Friday, I believe…. My friend, of course, is very upset and afraid, though he is holding up well; he is an honorable man, and intends to be strong for his mate….. The prognosis for the surgery is good, as they caught it early-on, and have found no traces of spreading into the lymph system yet; this type of cancer has a very good survival rate, when caught at this stage, so we are all hopeful those statistics hold true….

So, any who, I only mention this so I can ask for you to send out good thoughts and, if you are so inclined, prayers for her good deliverance during surgery, and for many more years of sparkling (she’s good at that….). I’m not sure where the surgery is being done, so if you would just send them toward Northern California, I’ll make sure they get to the right vicinity…. thanks very much, she deserves, and needs, all the help she can get…. as can my friend….

Well, there’s a way to get the old juices flowing….. bring on a spate of tears, and the old metabolism just jumps right up into work mode… a bit harsh, though, I think, to have to put one’s self through that to find a muse…. But, then, when have we ever done things normally around here? That’s correct, that answer would be…. never…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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Herein you will find a recipe for Life Well-Lived….. the first ingredient is illustrated here:

Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

— Tao Te Ching

The second ingredient needed to add to the first is here:

Hug O’ War

I will not play at tug o’ war.
I’d rather play at hug o’ war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

— Shel Silverstein

When these two parts are smoothly integrated into a malleable state, add this:

“I was standing in the kitchen one day, fixing a sandwich or something, when suddenly I heard a very distinct “sneeze” emanate from the fridge. Naturally curious, I opened the door and scrutinized the various food items. Suddenly, the mayonnaise began to scream, “The ketchup did it! The ketchup!” Of course, I was stunned. This, after all, was an inanimate object. And, truthfully, to this very day, I’ve never been able to coax the ketchup to say or do anything and have concluded the sneeze was my own imagination.” — Smart Bee

At this point, nearly uncontrollable giggles should emanate from either the substance being mixed, or from the mixer; both are a good omen for the success of the dish…. Now we can add the fourth ingredient, as below:

“The survival of the fittest is the ageless law of nature, but the fittest are rarely the strong. The fittest are those endowed with the qualifications for adaptation, the ability to accept the inevitable and conform to the unavoidable, to harmonize with existing or changing conditions.” — Dave E. Smalley

As any good chef or artiste knows, harmony comes, strangely enough, in odd numbers…. and thus with this final ingredient, blended well with what has gone before, you will find yourself in the presence of true beauty and grace…. This is a two-medium ingredient, textual/conceptual and visual….. (picture by Carol Welsh, from her blog at WordPress, here: http://carolwelsh.wordpress.com/  )

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living…. and above all, those who live without Love.” — Albus Dumbledore, from J.K. Rowlings’ Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows”
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I had no time to hate, because
The grave would hinder me,
And life was not so ample I
Could finish enmity.

Nor had I time to love, but since
Some industry must be,
The little toil of love, I thought,
Was large enough for me.

~~ Emily Dickinson
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Here are some examples of the astounding depths of Stupid that can manifest in humans……

“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” — Pat Robertson, Man of God and serious Republican presidential aspirant, in a letter to supporters
(My calculator broke when I tried to count how many wrong things there are in this statement…..)

“Trees cause more pollution than cars ever did.” — Ronald Reagan
(I had a hard time believing he actually said this in 1982, or thereabouts, but, there it was, right there in the newspaper…. and, in the annals of history, as it remains as the record for the stupidest thing ever said by a US President…. though Ronnie’s VP, Gerry Ford, later made some valiant attempts to break it, during his own stint in the Oval Office….)

Where Mind and each believing mind are not divided,
And undivided are each believing mind and Mind,
This is where words fail;
For it is not for the past, present, and future.

— Seng-T’San (540?-606 A.D.)
(Actually, this may not be stupid…. but I can’t tell for sure, because it is so opaque, and hides its meaning so deeply in complexity, it sounds stupid…..and is therefore subject to the Duck Test…. i.e., if it quacks, etc……)

“Facts can be used to prove anything that’s even remotely true. Facts, shmacts!” — Homer Simpson
(Come to think of it, ANYTHING Homer says could be included here…. I regard Homer to be the absolute incarnation of Human Stupidity, and thoroughly regret his popularity, though it doesn’t surprise me at all….)

Kinsey: “Oh, please. Given the chance, half of all American citizens won’t even vote, and the half that do vote are too stupid to know what they’re doing.” — from Stargate
(I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that, if you heard it on TV, it must be true…. or, in this case, be a pretty clear reflection of society….)

This kind of search, for pearls of real stupidity, as opposed to their opposites, is a slow one… Not that there are fewer examples of this kind of thing available, but, Smart Bee tends to lean toward the other end of the spectrum, keeping and displaying the most valuable and elegant aphorisms uttered through the ages, rather than these demonstrations of humanity’s other talents. So, here is a last example, which will, no doubt, be welcomed with open arms…. Just remember not to use these as Pearls Of Virtual Wisdom, or for goodness’ sake, real wisdom…. I won’t be responsible for the outcome….

I met a fool i’ the forest,
A motley fool.
— William Shakespeare (1564-1616), As You Like It — Act ii, Sc. 7
(In this case, what we see is a double dose of stupid…. one, what is written…. and two, all the fools who fall all over themselves to say that Shakespeare was so wonderful…. when what he was, was the best hack of his time, with a good PR man…. People still fall for this crap!…..)
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You may have noted a certain lack of original material in today’s Pearl…. which is not surprising, given my current state of mind….. It was all I could do to come up with commentary for this morning’s efforts, as I’m still a bit groggy from the hour, and quite empty of anything but the barest skepticism, my constant companion…. On days like these, I depend on Smart Bee, and the wisdom of others to carry me through this process, trusting that routine, of sorts, will produce an acceptable group of pearls. All in all, I don’t think I did too badly, and, as is the standard rule here, it’s done, and it’s not getting done over…. So be it…. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Evidence of brave new ventures….

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8

Ffolkes,
Since global warming seems to have pretty much eliminated the previous patterns of weather we have been accustomed to see, it’s getting hard to know what to wear in the morning. From Wednesday to Thursday, the temperature here made a dramatic one-day drop of over 20 degrees. Instead of sultry heat, we had a cool, brisk breeze off the water all day, with temps about normal for this time of year.  I’m surprised that there aren’t now thousands of folks fighting colds brought on by the rapid changes…. They may start coughing & sneezing at any time, if things operate as they usually do when we get these kinds of quick climate reversals…..

Personally, I seem to be immune to such colds, as I’ve only had one I remember, back in my twenties, and garlic took care of it in two days…. great antibiotic, that allicillin…. It’s the one that exists naturally in garlic, a selective antibiotic, that will kill all foreign bugs in the human body, without ever killing the ones natural to our system…. Great discrimination, and not surprising the medical world seems to ignore it…. they’d lose a lot of money if garlic were in common use. If I’m any example of how well it works, it is pretty damned effective, as I haven’t had either a cold, or a flu, or any other respiratory disease take hold of me in over 40 years, since I first learned of the medical properties of garlic….

Whenever I feel the first symptoms of a cold, that itchy, crowded feeling in the nose, and mildly dizzy, disoriented feeling that comes with fluid in the middle ear, I start eating a clove of garlic every few hours, raw…. Taking it like that for two day seems to be enough protection; the first symptoms have never progressed beyond that stage into a full blown cold, or flu, or any other bacterial infection….. EXCEPT for the one time, when I was about 43, and got stuck for a full day without any garlic available…. I fought that cold for a week, eating 6 cloves a day, feeling miserable…. and still had it less time than most colds stick around…..

So, if you don’t believe me, just try it…. at first sign of a cold, before it is firmly established, begin taking a single clove of garlic by mouth every four hours, just like a regular antibiotic the doctor would give you. Chop up the clove (about thumb size) into a minced state; put it in your hand, have a glass of water ready, and just wash it down quickly like a pill that doesn’t taste good…. The garlic taste is a bit strong, but not too bad if you wash it down fast…..

Your friends may avoid you for a day or so, since the raw garlic will come out in your sweat, but that will only help isolate the cold germs, and keep them from spreading, or being reintroduced or restrengthened with new germs…… and, if one cultivates a healthy, natural attitude, the odor can be quite pleasant, all in all…..

Well, that turned into a small medical infomercial….. so I guess I can count this as an introductory section, and get one with the true business at hand….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“In the future, the most important work skill will be a lack of ethics.” — Dilbert, by Scott Adams

Mr. Adams probably knows already, but this future arrived some decades ago. I had made this observation regarding business ethics back in 1968, not long after getting to Berkeley, and being exposed to sources of information that the rest of the world doesn’t wish to acknowledge. Lying about quality of products, cheating the government on taxes and the public on prices, cut-throat policies toward rivals, office politics that focus on the negative for promotion, advancement due not to merit, but to despotism or, worse, nepotism. All of these practices are now the normal state of affairs in the American business world, at the top, at the bottom, and at every stage between. To be successful in business in this country, one must actively pursue activities that are certain to keep them out of any Heaven belonging to any religion…..

Hell, one of American business’s greatest success stories is now running for president of this country, and making no bones about his own ethics…. He has NONE. Not a single thing that he can point to and be able to honestly say, “this is morally and ethically correct”. He can’t say it, because it would be a lie, according to not only the religions from around the world, but according to the very religion he claims to follow.

The leaders of the Mormon church aren’t going to expose his chicaneries…. they make far too much from it…. 10% of $250,000,000 a year is nothing to sneeze at, and no way they’re going to put it at risk by chastising him in public, or anywhere else…. He is a preacher’s dream….. stupid, immoral, rich, and willing to say he believes whatever they tell him, as well as willing to say anything at all to achieve his immoral and unethical ends…. to wit: power over others…..

“A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another’s.” — Jean Paul Richter

Have you noticed at all that the focus of the Romney/Ryan campaign is not any particular issue that concerns the public, other than the one they are using?….. All they do is make up lies about the President, or about what he has proposed to alleviate the pressure on the lower and middle classes, or about one of his proposed efforts to mitigate the damage to our economy and society that was directly caused by the Bush administration (the Shrub(s) left a HUGE mess, folks, and four years is only the beginning of what it will take to fix what he did….more, likely, as the Republican party is STILL blocking all attempts at reform, meaning it takes longer to fix what they already screwed up…..).

Mitt the Twitt, and Lyin’Paul Ryan don’t go into public without some barbed comment to make about the President…. and they, and their supporters, don’t seem to care that it is all lies, or misrepresentations, or taken out of context, or just plain made up. They keep right on spouting the same talking points, over and over, even when independent fact-checking organizations have PROVEN their lies….

It seems to work on the weak-minded, because there are a lot of people out there who will repeat the same lies for them, just as if it were true…. It is actually quite a pathetic, saddening sight to me, to see so many Americans fall into this pit of inequity and shame that comprises the Republican campaign…. it is clear proof, unfortunately, that racism and bigotry are not dead in this country, despite all the progress we’ve made over the last 75 years…

Sadly, it is THAT progress that is scaring the proponents of regression that still exist here; it scares them silly to have a black President… My God, what is next, a Muslim woman as President? Or worse, a strong, passionate, gorgeous, frightfully intelligent gay person? What is the world coming to?….. Ideas such as these scare these ignorant assholes to death, and they are proving that, in pursuit of their idiocy, they will go to ANY lengths to keep reason and rationality from being a part of American politics…. because they KNOW that they will make less money off the really ignorant that way…..

When all is said and done, the most important thing to Romney and Ryan is not politics, not ethics, and certainly not public spirit…. It is money. The most important thing to them is that the society is maintained in a state where they continue to make money at the expense of the weak and vulnerable, and have the power over others that is such a key piece of their own self-image…. Can’t feel like a man, unless they’ve got women, blacks, latinos, old people, and anyone who disagrees with them under their power….. Paranoia runs deep, my friends, and they feel it all the time…..

“What is left when honour is lost?’ — Publius Syrus (42 BC) — Maxim 265

Nothing is left, when honour is lost. Nothing worth having anyway….. and that is exactly what will be left for all of us lower and middle class Americans, should the Romney/Ryan Gang of Thieves, Worshipers at the Altars of Gold, ever get within shouting distance of the Oval Office….. You can take that to the bank…. or they will…..
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Semblance of Time

The dreams and visions of modern times are pallid and pale
filled with fear and loathing instead of joy and wonder.
Reality is aging poorly, submitting less data to loudly regale
Sad faded images lacking substance, or proof of thunder.

Sisters and brothers of nightly performance speak in spite
building up scars to protect, or keep a semblance of sanity.
Knowing illusion is near and dear, steeped in muscular delight
while compassion and intelligence get smothered by humanity.

Loneliness soon became the friend of many sizes of fools
stealing through mazes of social tests as if truly wise, or old
while companies of sterile opportunity are hiding their tools
from anyone who might be feeling even a little bit bold.

Painful momentary flashes seem to outline society’s fate
until sheltered heavy monuments to elder gods fall from grace.
We’re all getting tired of being told we’re far too late
never ever nearing tolerance, nor regaining solicitations of face.

A hard message awaits us all when we dare to even stay
of life’s dispassionate disposition and curmudgeonly faux heart.
Only with the strength of heroes can such tales make their way
Only a poet will deftly turn morbid pain, into a valid work of art.

~~ gigoid
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In the normal course of events here, I would hesitate to put the following three pieces next to a poem of my own, lest the comparison completely destroy my ego. But I’m not unhappy with today’s offering of my life’s blood; it isn’t yet as powerful as I would like, but it’s progress….. And these three little portions from three of my favorites can thereby serve as examples…. The power, the scope, the language of all three are exactly the kind of writing that I hope for to flow out of my mind someday…. The sheer artistry that is shown here is the goal I have for my poetry, and, for that matter, for my prose, as well. I could do worse……

Chaos of thought and passion, all confused;
Still by himself abused or disabused;
Created half to rise, and half to fall;
Great lord of all things, yet a prey to all;
Sole judge of truth, in endless error hurled,–
The glory, jest, and riddle of the world.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Essay on Man, Epistle ii, Line 13

The hour is striking so close above me,
so clear and sharp,
that all my senses ring with it.
I feel it now: there’s a power in me
to grasp and give shape to my world.
I know that nothing has ever been real
without my beholding it.
All becoming has needed me.
My looking ripens things
and they come toward me, to meet and be met.

— Rainer Maria Rilke, from Book of Hours
(This passage by Rilke leaves me slack-jawed in awe, every time I read it…..)

My skin is kind of brownish yellowish, white.
My eyes are greyish green.
But I’m told they’re orange at night
My hair is reddish, blondish.
But is silver when it’s wet.
And all the colours I am inside
have not been invented yet.

— Shel Silverstein

You can be the judges, if you would, and let me know if I ever make this grade….. a little kindness when I don’t would be appreciated, but isn’t necessary for improvement, so be harsh if you feel the need. I’ll just ignore what doesn’t make sense to me, anyway…. If nothing else, we all got a decent dose of good stuff today, and that can be enough, if one is prepared to accept reality as it is…..
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In looking back over the effort today, I am not entirely displeased…. which is to say, it will have to serve. I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s ramble through the crowded hallways in my head, and that nothing you’ve seen here today has convinced you that returning is a bad thing…. If nothing else, you will find here an honest approach to life, in all of its glory, and all of its sad and painful poignancy….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

If the Sweet Bird sings late, Fate lives….

Posted on by
19

Ffolkes,
Dark events are wont to take place under indifferent moons, which is why I make it a policy never to be out at the same time as a moon. This can be a tough policy to follow on a planet with six moons…. which is why I found myself in a meadow surrounded by tall oaks and madrone imported from legendary Earth, leaves shining in the pearly light, four miles from town in the dead of night, shivering under three of those bloody fake planets masquerading as moons, and watching morosely as a platoon of dark-clad Stank warriors silently filed into the clearing, laser-spears gleaming, to join the rest of us idiots. I could see, already, this was not going to be one of my nights, and I was seriously regretting my weakness in agreeing to join this mad party…..

Well, enough of that…. whoever that was, it doesn’t look like he’ll be having much fun for the next unknown period, so we’ll just leave him to his own devices, and get on with this morning’s real business, the fine art of hunting the creative urge, to trap, hopefully not to kill. T’is a wicked shy beastie, is creativity, and fond of leading me on long, winding chases in the dim morning light. It knows full well that I don’t sleep well, or deeply, and delights in taking advantage of the poor old fat guy who can no longer run very fast….. but, I’m getting smarter in my dotage, so to speak, and have learned to carry some of its favorite food, flattery cakes, which, given the chance, I can use to lure it close enough to use my magic lasso (the one I got from Wonder Woman, that time I loaned her a safety pin to keep her from having a wardrobe malfunction, just as she was getting ready to kick ass on the Penguin…..)  SIGH…. it makes for an interesting morning, but I kind of miss commuting…. NOT!

Having thus fulfilled the government-controlled and regulated daily quota of BS (who else would be in charge of it?), we will now Pearl……
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All we are saying.. is Give Peas a Chance.

This is the bumper sticker I put on my six year old Chivvy Mule…. it complements the one on my Old Bike, that says, “Visualize Whirled Peas”. Both were designed and distributed for sale by the Whirled Peas Institute, a division of the Peas Porridge Hot Corporation, makers of fine cliches and elegant bumper accessories for the entire coven. With their ages-old motto, “Pining for Peas!”, which adorns the dignified Giant Pea Pod atop the whirled-famous Peas HQ in downtown Beirut, shining out of the 75 foot high testament to good taste with cheerful hope, this beloved company stands as an example of the power of Hope, and the profit margins to be made from its devotees among the ignorant masses….

This advertisement is brought to you courtesy of a grant by the Lizzie/Ginger Corp., with supporting funds from Linda Vernon, Inc., that fine old international firm dedicated to bringing humor and insanity to those who need it most. Normally, (if that term can be applied to ANYTHING they do….) they don’t give grants, but this one also serves as a bribe, for advancing their claims as Heiresses of World Domination in the Whirled courts….. a project they have set their sights on for some time now…. encouraged shamelessly by both El Guapo and yours truly, (from whom they will inherit, if they’ll just hold their damn horses…..), using mainly under-funded household accounts sadly neglected by their long-suffering spousal units. Provided all of us can get our shit anywhere close to together, the transfer of power should take place before Christmas…. BUT NOT IF THEY KEEP WHINING ABOUT HOW LONG IT’S TAKING!  CAPISCE, CHICAS?!!!  We now return you to your regularly scheduled nonsense….
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According to experts, the oyster
In its shell – a crustacean cloister –
May frequently be
Either he or a she
Or both, if it should be its choice ter.

The die has been cast, and all dignity and sense is to be avoided at all cost today…. it’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it…. You gotta love limericks…. they have to be one of the finest ways to stretch the mind through poetry there is, to my mind. Limericks join Haiku, along with the works of Ogden Nash, Shel Silverstein, Robert Frost, and a very few others, as those literary forms that are completely user-friendly. Anyone can learn to write limericks, or haiku, and learn to do it well. Not everyone may be able to match the creativity and precise outlook of these three sterling examples of this genre, which I like to call the People’s Poems, but just about anyone can make poetry that will please them and others, if only for its uniqueness. I don’t know about others, but writing a good haiku, or limerick, makes me feel pretty damn good…. and it’s a good way to meet like minded folks…. hell, it probably would help bring about whirled peas, if the whole whirled could just see it, and join in the fun….
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“You have to realize that the government, any government, is insane.  You have to treat it the way pagans treated their gods:  As an irrational, capricious, and powerful entity which will mete out total destruction if not sacrificed to or otherwise placated.” — Mike Long (future Libertarian revolutionary)

Okay, so I couldn’t stay funny for a whole post…. so sue me. Wait! Scratch that…. these days, somebody might just take me up on it, claiming cruel and unusual punishment, or some such…. any who, the above statement makes far too much sense to dismiss lightly. Considering my belief that anyone who desires to assume the position of POTUS, or any other similar position of power over others, is, by definition, stark raving mad, this proposition makes perfect sense to me.

As a true Patriot of this country, one who is completely dedicated to protecting the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights, I regard it as sacred Duty to do all I can to prevent any further inroads on the rights we were given as our legacy. These American pundits, who seek office, and power over others, like an addict seeks his needle, are the most dangerous threat our country has faced in over two hundred years. Our Founding Fathers even predicted this; I’ve read several letters from one of them to another, cautioning against the danger to these principles from internal sources. They even identified the most probable culprits, corporations and banks, and those who took their money (definition of an honest politician: one who stays bought…) …. even then, such entities were regarded with mistrust and suspicion as to their motives.

Thus, it becomes not just preference, but Duty, to speak out when new outrages are committed against the principles of freedom, to fight against ignorance, and avarice, and the unholy forces of Indifference with all my faculties and skills. If I, and anyone else who also fears what these people would do in the name of the Almighty Dollar, do not speak up, if we do not fight the modern trend toward apathy and despair, then we will deserve the slavery we accept by so failing to act…….

“Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” — P.J. O’Rourke

“A ‘No’ uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.” — Mahatma Gandhi
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In the interests of consistency, that hobgoblin, and of continuing today’s attempt to stick to a theme, I present the following, which, though found without any attribution (how could anyone not be proud enough of this to want their name on it?), remains the perfect addition to a lineup that has not merely approached wacky, but left it in the dust….

The sky was dark, the moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft, her eyes were blue
I knew just what she wanted to do
Her skin so soft, her legs so fine
I ran my fingers down her spine
I didn’t know how but I tried my best
I started by placing my hands on her breast
I remember my fear, my fast beating heart
But slowly she spread her legs apart
And when I did it I felt no shame
All at once – the white stuff came
At last it’s finished, it’s all over now
My first time ever at milking a cow…

It got me…. how ’bout you? I just wish I knew who wrote it, so I could find more like it….. delicious!….
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Three poets, in three distant ages born,
Greece, Italy, and England did adorn.
The first in loftiness of thought surpass’d;
The next, in majesty; in both the last.
The force of Nature could no further go;
To make a third, she join’d the former two.
— John Dryden (1631-1700) — Under Mr. Milton’s Picture

Do what you wanna, do what you will;
Just don’t mess up your neighbor’s thrill.
And when you pay the bill, kindly leave a little tip
To help the next poor sucker on his one-way trip.
— Frank Zappa, You Are What You Is

Our souls sit close and silently within,
And their own web from their own entrails spin;
And when eyes meet far off, our sense is such,
That, spider-like, we feel the tenderest touch.
— John Dryden (1631-1700) — Mariage a la Mode, Act ii, Sc. 1

John Dryden… 10 letters…. Frank Zappa… 10 letters…. John Milton… 10 letters….Coincidence?…. I think not….. further unquestionable evidence of reincarnation, or at least, serendipity, wouldn’t you say?……
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I can only hope that today’s unexpected, but welcome, outburst of whimsy has no deleterious effect on the remainder of my ephemeral consciousness on this diurnal interval, although there are worse ways to spend the day than with furious spates of capriciousness and unadulterated fun. Let’s follow the wisest course, of expecting nothing, and appreciating whatever does turn up…. Y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!