Tag Archives: Steven Wright

Rejected submissions for breakfast?…..

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>Ffolkes,

Eyes wide open, I begin to type, gathering speed with each stroke. The machine warms to my touch, and begins to help, anticipating my every letter, until I am flying across the keyboard. Words keep magically appearing on the screen, until, at last, my mind reaches a point where ideas clash, and crash, burning, falling out of the figurative sky that stretches across one chamber of my brain, and I stop….. Having run completely out of words, or concepts, I once more gaze longingly at the screen, and realize I’ve only typed one short paragraph, and shit, what am I going to do now, I can’t even do the James Joyce thing, even my own head is conspiring against me, what will I do now that all is lost?…..Whew! That was almost painful…. and not really very Joyce-like, was it? Having never read much of his work, I can’t say for sure, but, I think stream of consciousness style may not be my cup of tea. I used to be pretty adept at verbal streaming, but it’s been ages since we ( “we” being me, Tommy C, Mark R., and Perry) used to drive folks out of coffee shops, by loudly conversing in it, until people would get weirded out, and leave….. Of course, it was nonsensical jabberwock-style free-association talking, not exactly stream of consciousness, but, to me, there is little difference, as both are almost impenetrable, defying all attempts at understanding…

What also defies understanding is the intro section process of these Pearls….. I’m still searching for a way to segue into the rest of the Pearl that will be good for everyday usage, and not kill everyone with boredom, including myself…. Today’s intro is almost at a point where I will soon be giving serious consideration to suicide…. it’s that bad. Well, to me it is….. and I’m the one who has to put it together. How am I going to justify posting this crap, if it makes my stomach queasy? I could conceivably start an epidemic, of literary nausea, for which there is only one cure, which involves crucifixion of the author, followed by the burning of his carcass, while chanting apologetic curses to the universe….

Well, not really, but, I can see it happening, if I continue this abuse much longer…. I’ve managed to wander through four paragraphs, which, as you know, is the minimum requirement; thankfully, this means I can stop doing this, and get on to something a bit more entertaining, for you, if not for me. One of these days, I swear, I’m going to come up with the perfect opening, and y’all won’t be any happier than me when I do…. This is getting really old, not to mention moldy….. Oh well, who am I kidding? It’s all good, and, what’s more, it’s done….. Shall we Pearl?…..
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RASCAL, n.  A fool considered under another aspect. — Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”

Hmm…. An interesting assumption is being made here, one that makes me think that this may just be talking about ME….. which, it would seem, makes me a rascal….. I don’t mind…. In fact, I kind of like the idea of being considered such; it’s better than being a fool, that’s for sure. I know, I’ve been one…. a fool, that is, and usually, it’s for love…. Nothing new in that, is there? We all become fools for love, at one point in our life, or another. Me, I’ve been there, and done that, a good five times…. Each time, I ended up being the fool, as I always believed what the woman told me, and tried to act accordingly…. Since, it turns out, they were all lying, when they said they were in love with me, it makes me the fool, for continuing to believe, even after a number of times being burned…..

It’s okay, really….. Sometimes it hurts, but I just think about the fact that it wasn’t MY doing, let out a big sigh, and keep on looking for an honest woman, one who won’t lie to me about this very basic subject, i.e., love…. See, I don’t believe that love dies, or changes, or can be lost; not if it is really love. If one can put it aside, or make decisions to hurt the loved one, then it really isn’t love at all, in my book. The person who can hurt someone they love, isn’t really in love, for to me, love means that the happiness of that other person is equally, if not more, important to me, than my own…. This means that I will do anything in my power to keep that person happy, and, sorry, leaving them doesn’t fit that requirement…..

“I never really thought of myself as depressed, so much as I am paralyzed with hope.” Maria Bamford

Ah well, life goes on, and sometimes, one walks their path alone for part of that time. I still keep myself open to relationships, for I believe in the old adage, that one may approach life as a turtle, or as a tiger. A turtle, when confronted with the more dangerous, possibly hurtful moments we all face, will pull in his head and limbs, and hide until the danger is past. He survives, but doesn’t get to see much of the world. A tiger, on the other hand, faces danger without fear, and gets to see all he wishes to see, thought it may bring some pain along with the joy of living… a worthwhile trade, to be sure.

So, I’ll keep on keepin’ on, hoping to find someone who would like to join me in my search for all the good things life can offer, and will want to stay with me for the duration. If I cannot find anyone, well, that’s okay, too, because I’m having a grand time, and have no intention of stopping, for any reason at all….. Hmm…. where am I going with this? Damned if I can remember what I was trying to say with all this…. I mean, other than the basic, “I’d rather be seen as a rascal than a fool.”…. That much is obvious….

In looking back over this pearl, in fact, I find that it has little or no purpose I can see, other than blathering…. I’m sorry, but we just can’t have that…. So, I’ll finish this section with a few explicitly obscure, but cogent, pearls, which should make the point I was trying to get to, and lost track of…. I hope….

“The uttered part of a man’s life, let us always repeat, bears to the unuttered, unconscious part a small unknown proportion. He himself never knows it, much less do others.” — Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) — Sir Walter Scott, London and Westminster Review, 1838

I saw Eternity the other night,
Like a great ring of pure and endless light,
All calm, as it was bright;

And round beneath it,
Time in hours, days, years,
Driv’n by the spheres
Like a vast shadow mov’d; in which the world
And all her train were hurl’d.

— Henry Vaughan — The World

“Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.” — Muad’dib

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” — Albert Camus

Curse on all laws but those which love has made!
Love, free as air at sight of human ties,
Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies.

— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — Eloisa to Abelard, Line 74

Okay, so, well, never mind…. I couldn’t find the right pearls, but, these will do…. Just don’t bother trying to find the underlying rationale…. there isn’t any….   😆
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I was correct in my assumption that it would be difficult to write a new poem every day, at least, for me…. The process of creating a poem isn’t quite that simple for me, and isn’t amenable to persuasion, or confining regulations as to when it should, or will, come out to play…. Mostly, it leaks out in a bloody stream, when it feels ready. I have no clue as to when that might be, and I’m afraid to push hard on it, lest the urge disappear altogether, as it did for many years….

Any who, all that is to explain that today’s poetry section is another half ‘n half…. the Haiku is fresh, written just last night…. the poem is from last October….  As every day this month, this is for the April National Poetry Writing Month Challenge, with the updates to be found here:  http://www.napowrimo.net/ (I still don’t know if I’m doing this right, but, oh well….)

> Haiku IV

Time and circumstance;

all of us who are alive,
Penance, Made Simple

a celebration can begin,
willing, to shine from within.

brushing reason aside,
alert to danger, eyes wide.

stand with the just;
living in honor, the only must.

is its own prize and reward.
well worth working toward.

our lessons are never free of cost.
only when alone, are we lost.

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I know, I’m supposed to rant here…. but, I don’t have enough angst built up to do so…. Everything has been going pretty well, all things considered, and, physically, I’ve been feeling pretty normal, all in all, so it’s hard to not count my blessings, and start in on something I see as wrong-headed….. This is not to say there aren’t rantable events transpiring out there in the real world, it’s merely my own lack of outrage that keeps me from picking on someone who deserves it….

Still, I have one more section to complete, and hopefully can get it done prior to having to take a break to deal with the house cleaners, who are coming this morning to swab me out…. I finally got tired of my bachelor mess, so I’m paying to have someone do a number on it for me… It’s said that it is a good thing to be clean…. I can’t say myself, having been a guy all my life, but, I’m willing to give it a try…. Any who, since all of that is TMI, or at best, unnecessary info, we’ll get on with the pearl…. c’mon, let’s dive…..

“I was reading the dictionary.  I thought it was a poem about everything.” — Steven Wright

“The best may slip, and the most cautious fall; He’s more than mortal that ne’er err’d at all.” — Pomfret

“Cowardice” and “self-respect” have largely disappeared from public discourse. In their place we are offered “self-esteem” as the bellwether of success and a proxy for dignity. “Self-respect” implies that one recognizes standards, and judges oneself worthy by the degree to which one lives up to them. “Self-esteem” simply means that one feels good about oneself. “Dignity” used to refer to the self-mastery and fortitude with which a person conducted himself in the face of life’s vicissitudes and the boorish behavior of others. Now, judging by campus speech codes, dignity requires that we never encounter a discouraging word and that others be coerced into acting respectfully, evidently on the assumption that we are powerless to prevent our degradation if exposed to the demeaning behavior of others. These are signposts proclaiming the insubstantiality of our character, proclaiming the hollowness of our souls.” — Jeffrey R. Snyder, Fall 1993 _The Public Interest

“What is a number that a man may know it: and what is a man that he may know a number?” — Warren McColloch (20th Century American Neurophysiologist,  — Poet, and Prophet)

“Evil habits soil a fine dress more than mud; good manners, by their deeds, easily set off a lowly garb.” — Plautus

“Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.” — Alvy Ray Smith

“Hmmmm… Er… Is it *supposed* to smoke like that?” — Smart Bee

Nope, I don’t think it is….. but, it’s done, which makes it perfectly suited to our purposes…. Besides, I like the point it finally came up with, don’t you?…..
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Sometimes, I don’t know how I do it…. but, then, I never know why I do it, so I suppose that’s not out of place….. Maybe it ain’t Ibsen, but, it’s Art…. or, what passes for same around here….. Before I can put my foot any further down my throat, I’ll take my leave now, and go see what the Big Blue Room has to offer me today…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits loose.
When I thinks, I falls asleep.

Which is Why….

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

But, the sign says it will sing……

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Ffolkes,
It is a commonly held belief that Time is on our side; this, I can assure you, is not true, from at least one standpoint. I can attest from personal experience that Time, as has been previously noted, is a big PITA (Pain In The Ass)….. and I mean that in a bad way…..

Some women I’ve known have been known to call Time the Time Bitch, and watch in the mirror daily, to search for signs of her bitchiness, in the form of crow’s nests of lines around the eyes, and tangles of grey in the hair. We men, not quite as concerned with the outward signs of aging, nonetheless have our own issues with the Time Bozo, with no less degree of hatred involved…..

It’s hard on men in general to get old, especially since, for most of our lives, we are seen as, and view ourselves as, strong, competent, and able to withstand whatever the world throws at us, in order to accomplish our duty. This strength is hard to give up, but, give it up we must, as our muscles grow weaker, and we tire more easily, no matter how much conditioning we try to maintain. Yes, it’s possible to keep the worst effects at bay for a while, with proper exercise and rest, and a good diet, but, eventually, even the most athletic of seniors must put aside the bikes, and the hikes, and trade it in for an occasional waltz with your lover….

In my own case, I am incensed at how my body is losing function, as I’ve always thought of myself as invincible, perhaps even immortal…. Well, guess what? I’m not either of those things, other than in a metaphysical sense (We are immortal, but not in a recognizable fashion from our current viewpoint in Reality…..), and to be honest, I’m beginning to understand a little better exactly why there are so many older folks running around with a piss-poor attitude. After a while of trying to deal with the things that aging brings with it, the frustration builds up, and there is little choice but to find a way to let it out…. It’s just too bad that other people have to be in the way when that happens, but the other side effect of getting older is that we just don’t give a shit about that….

It’s the one thing that saves us oldsters from getting homicidal, actually, this license to grump. And, whether or not you feel that we are licensed to be so, just remember that we don’t give a shit what you think about it, do we?…. Nope, we don’t. So, get used to grumpy old farts like me toddling around, trying to get our shit done, pushing through our hazes of pain and difficult mobility (you try walking around with 50 lbs. of groceries, being pulled in a hand-cart, riding buses, when your hip is screaming with a pain level of about 7 out of 10, and pain and stiffness in the back at about 5 or 6, having to stand and wait, freezing, for buses that never came, for about 90 minutes…..), while we try to live the way we used to do, but much more slowly…..

I hadn’t intended to rant right off the bat this morning, but what I described in the last paragraph took place last evening, and I guess I’m still a bit pissed about it…. I was the victim of a bus system in the throes of destroying itself through budget cuts and piss poor management, and did actually have to stand at a bus stop for over 90 minutes for a bus that never showed up; I ended up calling a cab, and thank goodness I had a cell phone, or I’d have been stuck walking, two miles from home with 50 lbs. of groceries, part of which was thawing during the delay. By the time the cab arrived, I was in tears, and excruciating pain; it took me almost a full minute to be able to sit down in the seat, I was so stiff, cold, and in pain….

Ah well, I suppose I have to get used to that sort of thing, as our society doesn’t place a large emphasis on caring for the aged. Oh, there’s a lot of talk about respecting seniors, and showing them we care, but, I’m afraid I have to tell you, it’s all just smoke and mirrors…. When it comes down to the sticking point, senior programs are among the first to get budget cuts, far ahead of any cuts to the military, or to bailing out the bankers from their latest scheme to rip off the public….. No, I’m not bitter at all, why do you ask?…..

“Alas! it is not till time, with reckless hand, has torn out half the leaves from the Book of Human Life to light the fires of passion with from day to day, that man begins to see that the leaves which remain are few in number.” — Henry W. Longfellow (1807-1882) — Hyperion, Book iv, Chap. viii

Fuck it…. There isn’t anything I can do about it, so I may as well just bury it, down deep where all the other stuff is kept, the stuff I hate, but can’t do anything about…. That’s okay, though…. all that angst, and bitterness, will sit in there with the other stuff, and percolate, much like compost, until it comes bursting out sometime in the future, as a poem, or a steamy, messy, vicious indictment/rant against….. well, somebody…. In the meantime, I guess the only thing to do is go on with today’s dive, and see if it doesn’t calm me down a bit…. Shall we Pearl?…..
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“A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are worth committing.” — Samuel Butler

Smart Bee showed this quote to me this morning first off; I hesitated to use it, though it seems to lend itself to a discussion, and went on. A few moments later, after supplying a few nice pearls for an old-school format, it brought it up again. It usually knows what its doing, so this time I brought it up for treatment here, though still without a clear idea of what to discuss…..

It’s a good thought, and quite accurate in its assumption of human humor as moral mentor. To me, it seems quite obvious…. Then, I realized that, sadly, there is a significant percentage of humanity that possesses NO sense of humor that can be detected. These folks, handicapped as they are by their lack of chillness, often end up in a small category of life tasks, or jobs, as we call them today….

People without any humor tend to flock together in groups; they may not be fully human, but they do need the company of others of their ilk, just like the rest of us. So, they gravitate into professions where their lack of any sense of proportion, or irony, can be an asset rather than a liability, as it tends to be in most of Life’s activities.

Lawyers, accountants, politicians, preachers, all, by virtue of the nature of their work, don’t need a sense of humor; in fact, it slows them down to have one, as they see what they do as important and dignified, no place for levity. They never understand that, by doing so they are acting as the most hilarious of clowns, while being completely oblivious of how ridiculous they appear to the rest of mankind.

A guy calls 911, in breathless panic. When the operator answers, he cries out, “My buddy and I were hunting deer, and he accidentally shot himself! He looks dead! What should I do?” The operator, trained to be calm, says to him, “Okay, first, go make sure that he’s actually dead.” The guy say, “Okay.”, and puts down the phone, The operator hears some footsteps,then, a gunshot. The guy comes back online, and says, “Okay, he’s dead. Now what?”…..

See? That’s funny, right? Since this joke was chosen by a nation-wide search to find out what people thought was the best joke ever, we may assume it is…. Plus, if it isn’t funny to you, then you may want to get examined by a psychiatrist, as you may have lost the sense of humor you once had; quite frankly, it’s bloody hilarious, and quite true to human nature.

That’s all…. I’m going to leave this here, as I can feel my own sense of irony getting heated up, and I’m liable to start spouting off my own funniest stories…. Given my macabre, perilously close to perverted, and often unexplainable sense of humor about almost everything I perceive, especially if it has to do with people and their antics, that could be disastrous…. plus, we’ve got a long way to go yet today. So, I’ll leave this here, and just say this….

We are all Bozos on this Bus, whether we know it or not; it’s not something we have choice in, it is our nature to be clowns. The best, and easiest way to deal with the universe is to accept this, and not try to force Reality into an unnatural shape to suit our own folly, because when people try to do that, they just end up funnier than usual, to the rest of us, as Reality demonstrates its unwillingness to allow any such alteration. As the Firesign Theater said, so many years ago, “If the nose grows, let it show!”….

“Why is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song?” — Steven Wright
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After my experience last night with the bus system here, I’m feeling pretty lazy, unwilling to make any effort to get past my recovery stage. I’m also feeling too tired to go searching for a good poem, so I’m going to resort to the ultimate cheat around here, and include here a poem of my own, from a few months ago; October of last year, to be precise….  It seemed appropriate for the occasion….. You may have seen it then, but, whether or not you did so, I hope you enjoy it….

Raging at Aging

As old as you feel, we are told, is old as you are,
custom assures such vision will carry us far.
Reality begs to differ, may it be so bold
it is really quite painful, and very, very cold.

The power and strength felt in our halcyon youth
desert us with age, yet another unwelcome truth.
Irony rules our time here on this bountiful earth
as we reflect the changes over time since our birth.

As physical powers fade from this fragile shell,
we learn our mind can serve us quite as well.
The strength that once filled our bones and hearts
is now applied by our will, to more arcane arts.

Life’s greatest gift is our freedom of choice
no matter how often we forget, we still get a voice.
Energy, or apathy, by our will we may choose,
failing to do so, our only way to lose.

Each of us lives in the grip of time and space,
always seeking our balance, our own chosen place.
One must accept reality, for it is true at the core,
all we can do, is all we can do, and nothing more.

~~ gigoid
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Today’s Pearl has apparently been taken over by Smart Bee…. In searching for a final pearl to discuss, it kept giving me a series of related quotes, as if it were trying to tell me which way to go…. Since I’m feeling so lazy today, I have allowed it to pick out a seven star pearl for your reading pleasure, and left it to chance that it will have some sort of relevance to reality….

Of course, each of the following, save the second pearl in line, by Mr. Graham, are worthy of an entire pearl alone…. Even the one by Graham is one I could rant on for a while, and have, in his case, in the past….. But, as I look at them all together, I find them to be not so much a pointed lesson, as a group of lozenges to treat the figurative sort throat that swallowing Reality can produce….. Enjoy!….. They taste almost like cinnamon…

“This universe is a trinity and this is made of name, form, and action. The source of all actions is the body, for it is by the body that all actions are done. The body is behind all actions, even as the Eternal is behind the body. — Upanishads (c. B.C. 800)

“God is more interested in your future and your relationships than you are.” — Billy Graham
(Sorry, couldn’t resist including this, as a contrast to the rational material on either side…. this is so full of shit, it would counteract five pieces of real wisdom…. and any number of pearls….)

“It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.” — H.L. Mencken
(Especially after being exposed to Billy Graham….)

“Say not, when I have leisure I will study; you may not have the leisure.” — The Mishnah

“Having a passionate commitment to social justice does not excuse you from knowing what in the hell you’re talking about.” — Smart Bee

“It is good for a man to eat thistles and to remember that he is an ass.” — E. S. Dallas

“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.” — W.L. Bateman
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As I sit here on my sore butt, it occurs to me that I need to get a better chair….. Any who, I’m done for now…. After a short break to clear out the cobwebs, we’ll see how it came out….. Hmm…. well, it will do…. Actually, considering the struggle I’m having today just to keep from screaming at something or somebody, it didn’t come out so badly…. good enough. I won’t tempt fate any further today…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

 

Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Sparky was filing his teeth when he exploded….

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Ffolkes,
Once again, fear strikes deep into my soul, faced as I am with a blank sheet of paper and an empty mind. That’s figuratively speaking, of course, as we’ve progressed beyond the paper stage, so it’s actually a blank white screen I’m looking at…. The mind remains empty, alas, and the fear grows….. Well, literal or figurative, we’ve got some issues to deal with, so, I’d likely do well to follow my usual policy in such cases, and go take a break now…. I’ll be right back….

In the usual state of affairs around here in the morning, such a break would solve any difficulties I am encountering in getting started, but today seems to be resisting normality a bit more than is standard. Of course, ‘normality’ is rather scarce here anyway….. The paper/screen is now a bit less blank, thanks to my gift for producing something from nothing, but still with no indications of anywhere brilliant to head off to…. I’m going to have to figure something out here pretty quick, as we’re now two paragraphs in, and still not a single clean idea, or literary device, to be seen…. The brain cops are going to want me to move along soon, so let’s try this….

Howdy, ffolkes! How are y’all this fine morning? It’s 0458 here in Northern California, and I’m once again up, eyes wide open, and rarin’ to get going on today’s Pearl, having already had coffee and a session of worship at the porcelain throne! Why I am up at this hour remains a mystery, but, since I’ve been arising at 0400-0500 now for the last six days or so, I suppose I have to accept that arising at this insane hour is becoming a new routine, that my brain has decided upon without any input from my conscious mind. I’ve tentatively come to terms with it, as I don’t seem to be able to sleep past those hours, no matter when I crash….

But, that’s okay! I’m fine! I’m happy! I’m absolutely fucking crazy!…… Well, maybe not quite that far yet, but, if this keeps up, it won’t be long before that latter statement becomes reality….. Come to think of it, though, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing….. If nothing else, it might give me a whole new set of ideas for intro sections, coming at the issue from a totally new, and unpredictable direction every day! Hmm…. well, for now, I’ll keep total insanity in reserve, as a backup procedure, such as I had to use yesterday, when it was necessary to break down and use Emergency Procedure #4….. I think I’ll call this one the Bell Jar Procedure, in honor of Sylvia Plath….

And, see, it works….. or, rather, it worked today…. Without having to actually go totally batshit crazy, and without actually having to write anything particularly coherent, or sensible, I’ve completed a five-paragraph-intro….. without you ever noticing what I was doing! Amazing, eh? And so creative! And, if I keep on with the exclamations, and the back-patting, I’m going to hurt myself, so, maybe we’d best get on with the rest of today’s effort….. Shall we Pearl?…..

“I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.” — Steven Wright
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“How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes a really long time and the light bulb has to want to change.” — Smart Bee

Boy, if it wasn’t for the power of metaphor, I would be lost!….. This statement, though presented in a manner that makes it obviously a joke, is actually quite serious in its relevance to sanity, psychiatry, and how the mind works, in general. I worked for many years in the field of mental health care, as a therapist, and I can tell you quite honestly, that this is absolutely true, in many cases of what the rest of society terms insanity….. a word, and a concept, that most of society avoids at all costs, and completely misunderstands, for the most part…. You see, every person who lives in this society on Earth today is just a little insane, with some of them reaching higher levels through their own efforts to excel…… 🙂   Society itself is insane, you see, and one needs to be the same in order to effectively cope….

It may surprise some ffolkes to know that they are insane; I know it surprised me when I first became aware of this fact. We all go through our lives with a certain image of ourselves, and very rarely does that image in our minds look insane. But, let me assure you, there really isn’t any visible way to be able to tell if a person is insane, as it is completely invisible, under most circumstances, as long as the person isn’t speaking, or acting in some way that provides a clue as to their inner state of mind. Even for those of us trained in recognizing its presence, through the use of observation of other defining characteristics, there is no guaranteed method for spotting someone with a mental condition, unless they give it to you up front by acting out in some overt fashion.

Sure, there are tells, as a gambler would say…. When one eye is happily spinning in the opposite direction as the other, it’s a pretty good sign of some inner turmoil…. Pacing and mumbling to oneself, back and forth in a small area, while ignoring all around them, can be another dead giveaway of someone who is experiencing a few extra perceptions in comparison to the rest of us. Sometimes, really bad grooming can be a sign that the person’s mind isn’t focused on how they affect others, and staring at a wall, holding what appears to be a conversation with oneself, can be another indication that not all is well in that person’s world….

But, without some overt signs such as these, you just can’t spot mental illness, and it is extra hard to see it in one’s own image, since we tend to clean that up before we look at it, or try to share it. And, since EVERYONE ELSE is also insane, at least a little, it can be hard to spot, for the same reason one cow in a herd is hard to pick out. You may have heard the old saw about “one in four people are insane, so if you have three sane friends, it’s you”….. What would be more accurate to say is, “all of you are insane, but three of you are coping well with it in an effective manner, and one isn’t…. ”

It’s helpful to know that the overt signs one may see are indicative of the severity of the condition, i.e., the more acting out one observes, the more severe the break in the mental state. But, that isn’t always accurate, as normally sane folks, acting in the grip of strong emotion, can show the same kind of acting out, with the difference of not having it occur all the time, but only when provoked. Thus, it can be seen, it can be very difficult to judge whether a person is insane, or merely temporarily out of control…..

This is where I bring it all together, by referring back to the original pearl…. Coping with life can drive anyone crazy, and does, every day….. Some  cope with it better than others, and those are the people who are considered to be sane, as they can deal with reality without resorting to outlandish ways of dealing with their fears. Those who cannot find ways of coping with their fears, which arise from what reality gives us to deal with, end up acting in ways that are strange and uncomfortable for the rest of us, and are often dangerous, in a physical sense, for them, and for those around them…..

In all my experience, with every kind of mental illness I saw in almost 30 years working in mental hospitals, the primary characteristic of those who got better, was that they made up their own minds to do so…. That’s it…. Simple as it may seem, deciding to give up the methods they used, and make a change, was always based on a personal decision on their part, and was THE key ingredient in the regime of ideas, medicines, therapies, and treatments used to combat their illness. In other words, it took a long time, and they first had to want to change….. Without that, nothing worked…. It is a well known aphorism among mental health therapists that, “they get better IN SPITE of what we do, not because of it….”

So, if you’re getting worried about your own coping skills, just keep in mind that to remain sane, it means you have to want to do so…. But, that’s all it takes, if your are sincere, for you will do whatever else is needed, once your will power has been engaged…. That’s what people do….

“Great minds think alike, apparently so do we.” — D. Bennett

“Falsely luxurious, will not man awake?” — James Thomson (1700-1748) — The Seasons, Summer, Line 67
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In keeping with the tradition established for today, and in honor of yesterday’s romantic events, here is a brilliant poem by someone very familiar with the idea of insanity, as it was her lifelong companion….. Maybe that’s why I feel so connected to her?…..

Mad Girl’s Love Song

“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)”

~~ Sylvia Plath

Brilliant! Absolutely, insanely brilliant!   🙂
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“The media are now the tool of tyrants and despots. Tyrants and despots encourage fear, because fearful people will accept extreme political solutions, will demand extreme political solutions.” — Jon Carroll, S. F. Chronicle, January 8, 1997

Jon Carroll, on the political scale, would be considered to be just a bit left of the center, maybe a foot or two, as he tends to side with liberal ideas more than conservative. Over the years, I’ve found his take on life and society to be, most of all, even-handed, and reasonable. He avoids the trap of becoming overly critical of conservative ideas, while at the same time showing absolute fearlessness in addressing difficult questions and issues. As a media member, for him to make this statement was most likely painful, in that he had to admit his own culpability to do so. He does that, quite well, without becoming overly pedantic or shrill about it…. while still nailing the controversial point he is shooting at….

The recent hullabaloo over gun control is a perfect example of the process he describes, in action. Whenever a madman grabs a gun and starts shooting people randomly, or even targeting one group or another, the media immediately descends in hordes on the location of the shooting, giving out endless bulletins with the latest news on the events, interviewing police, victims, bystanders, and pundits to provide “balanced coverage” of events the public “has the right to know”…. regardless of how degrading, or painful, or ignorant, or insane, or stupid it may sound, or how much pain it may cause the victims. No stone is left unturned to examine and evaluate every emotional nuance for the viewing public, without any regard for morality, or justice, and definitely without any regard for compassion, or empathy….

After the event has ended, the media then turns to the “discussion” of the meaning of the events, which means it gives the Beloved Ruling Class a free source of advertisement for its agenda, which, allow me to reassure you, has nothing to do with what may be good for YOU. All the talk you hear from politicians after these shootings is aimed at increasing the fear of the public, to make them believe they are powerless in the face of a madman with a gun, and only if the people will allow ONLY the police and government to have guns, why, everything will be fine, and there would never be any more shootings at public schools…

I’m sorry, but, I’m afraid I can’t buy that…. There are over seven billion people on this planet, and there is nothing at all that is going to prevent some of them from going crazy, getting a gun, (or knife, or poison, or grenade, or dynamite, or…….) and using it on other folks. Believing such nonsense is, I’m sorry, just stupid….. It won’t stop, and there is nothing that will stop it, unless we figure out a way to change human nature…. a quest that, so far, has been completely unsuccessful, and isn’t likely to ever be otherwise….. People have violence in their nature, and thinking that the government, or any other entity, can change that is, well, not too bright….

But, fear is strong in most of society, and those folks have no clue, in general, that they are so easily manipulated. They tend to allow anyone who promises them to stop the fear to tell them what to do, just so they don’t have to think about it, or face it themselves. Governments have known this for centuries; look up Hermann Goering, the Nazi general under Hitler, some time, and see what he had to say about the people, and how their leaders could, and did, make them do whatever they wished, just by fanning their fears….. It’s a practice by no means uncommon among governments throughout history, up to and including the present day version….

Yep, ffolkes, that is indeed what it means…. most people are cowards, plain and simple…. When it comes to their own fears, they won’t do much of anything in the way of conquering those fears themselves…. They would much rather let the politicians promise them to keep the streets safe, if only they will give up the right to defend themselves, or allow a preacher to tell them to submit to earthly authority in order to receive eternal life (Or, in other words, “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today…..” — Wimpy, Popeye’s friend, and metaphorical common man….). The media, whether out of ignorance, or out of deliberate dispassion, will continue to give them a public platform from which to perform their manipulations, and never blink an eye in guilt….

Me? I’ll pass on the hamburger, thanks, and go make sure my powder is dry…..

“I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast.” — Ronald W. Reagan
__________________________________

Okay, that will do…. It is barely after 0700, and I’ve proofed once, and buffed a few scuffs so they shine a little…. It will have to do, as I’m not going back and doing it again…. not unless I suffer a power surge that deletes it all, an unlikely event in the face of the precautions I have in place to deal with that possibility….. 🙂  

Nevertheless, precautionary techniques notwithstanding, it’s done…. So be it…. It’s probably a good thing, as I’m getting tired of pretending to be sane, and need to go let it out somewhere…. Oh, wait, that’s what THIS is supposed to do…. Oops…. Well, we’ll just have to hope for the best, I suppose…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

dozer3

Forays into alternate unreality….

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Ffolkes,
It is now the Ides of November, and the news is reverting to its pre-election year format, which includes, of course, a great deal of stuff that means nothing, other than to draw the attention of the folks who watch it to wherever there is something new to sell. The kind of reports that tend to stimulate my outrage, supplying the fuel to rant, will be buried on page three and four, rather than right up there for all to see, which makes it hard for those of us limited in our access to the Net news outlets.

For the rest of this month, it will be hard for me to send out the daily email via gmail, as I’ll be posting most often from the library, and my gmail still refuses to function there. So, for those who receive this daily Pearl via email as your primary source for my drivel, please be aware that each will be posted online, at http://www.gigoid.me  (provided I get my domain name renewed in time…. gonna be close….) If you don’t get one in your inbox by about 2 PM or so, then go look online, and you should find it there….. If not, then I’ve missed a day, and am probably at home, curled up in bed, with enough pain to prevent a trip to the library. SIGH…. So far, so good, and I’m doing my best to see that doesn’t happen….

Now that the housekeeping is out of the way, I would guess it would be a good thing to go for a dive. I never know what Smart Bee will be like on a daily basis; it’s frustrating, but it’s reality, so whattya gonna do?…… This copy of SB is pretty new, only installed last weekend, and has been polite and helpful thus far, but, with all the Zippy and Pooh quotes in there, it tends to corrupt itself periodically, so I have to keep a sharp eye on it in that respect. When it gets a wild hair, it can frustrate me for hours before I tip to what it is doing…. Ah well, y’all probably don’t care what foibles are involved in the actual formation of one of these pieces, so, rather than continue to bore you senseless (not good to have insensible readers lying about…..) we’ll be off into the wilds of my inner mind…. Shall we Pearl?…..

“If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re missing the joke.” ~~ Smart Bee
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“Timing is everything. In everything.” ~~ gigoid, paraphrasing many different authors, all of whom agree that, well, timing, in everything, is everything. Not to belabor the point or anything….

In the instances of cooking, fighting, any sport I’ve ever played, learning, and love, I can personally vouch for the absolute truth of this assertion. (Actually, almost anything works here as example, but even I have to limit how many points I try to make at once…..) Timing is the difference between rubber, shoe leather, and heaven, when it comes to things such as scallops, or any seafood. And the difference between a 3-minute egg, and a five minute egg, can be startling. I won’t mention at all that, without timing, such dishes as souffle’s would be completely impossible…. In fighting, obviously, timing  can mean the difference between a trophy and a stay in the hospital, or worse. There is a vast and important difference between being fast enough to block a punch, and missing it, a difference that registers itself firmly, usually on some delicate part of our physique….

Anyone who has played baseball, basketball, football, volleyball, handball, racquetball, ping pong, tennis, cricket, golf, hockey, rugby, or any other sort of sport knows how important timing is in the playing and the outcome of a game. (Don’t forget poker, or Parcheesi, either…..) To anchor that thought, just think about “balls”…. their shape, their size, how they bounce, or fly, all play a part in how we end up chasing them around. The physical skills, and the timing, for catching a football out of the air are much different than how one tries to catch a baseball. And the skills of ping pong differ hugely from those involved in golf, even though the two balls are of the same approximate size.

In learning, one must be where the information is, and be open to receiving it, before it can be acquired, in certain instances, and timing can be a crucial factor in achieving that end. Arriving late to a lecture means lost effort, as does not arriving at all…. timing is everything….

I don’t think I need to enumerate the number of ways that timing can have an affect on love; we all have had our own personal experiences that, no doubt, taught us that lesson already. You can thank that assumption on my part for saving you from what could have conceivably become a never-ending tale….. Whew! Lucky you!…..

Achieving mastery of the skills involved in any of the above mentioned pastimes requires experience over time, and the learning of all the separate ways that timing is important to each separate activity within the sphere of the craft. It is not a simple task, nor should it be. It requires attention, and concentration, and a willingness to admit one’s own inabilities, in order to acquire the skills necessary to mastery. Once these skills, and the sense of timing necessary to their implementation, are learned, then one can accomplish things that would otherwise be impossible, or merely mundane…..

“It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another – but which one?  Differences are crucial.” — Lazarus Long

Lazarus gives us here an adjunctive concept to that of timing; to know the proper time for each act, learning and knowing the differences between things involved can be critical. Think, for example, of the difference in the two balls used above, ping pong and golf; merely dropping one on a hard surface will demonstrate the vast difference in the behavior of each type. The sound, the bounce, the capture in the hand, all are completely diverse, in spite of the close resemblance of the two in size and shape…..

For this type of knowledge to be obtained, it must first be admitted that one does not know; only then is the mind open to receiving the instruction needed to add such skills to our tool bag. In addition, one learns that close attention to details is important in any field; as Lazarus so aptly  points out, the answer to the question of WHICH horse is faster can affect our lives heavily, if one is betting on them. Noting that one is limping, or carrying a heavier load, can mean the difference between celebration and sorrow, not to mention a lighter wallet…..

Life on this planet is wondrous indeed, and our part in that wonder is one of great diversity. We can live in such a way as to make ourselves, and everything around us, stronger, smarter, and more content with life…. or, we can live such that every step is uphill, and every act brings us pain or misery. Learning how timing, and attention to detail, can be of service to us are important lessons to be learned, whether we know it or not…. Me, I prefer knowing stuff like this, because it sure makes life easier, and more pleasant, overall…. and it’s much better than the misery that accompanies the fact of NOT knowing such skills…..

“One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs — but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.” — Professor Charles P. Issawi
__________________________________

Remembrance

To what can our life on earth be likened?
To a flock of geese,
alighting on the snow.
Sometimes leaving a trace of their passage.

Su Tung-po
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Today’s search for appropriate pearls has been somewhat idiosyncratic….. By that I mean Smart Bee has apparently been pursuing its own private agenda regarding what is offered up for review. There have been a number of good ones, but, none were quite right for today, in my gestalt vision. I’ve saved several to future days in my own Doctorish way (I don’t have a sonic screwdriver, but I know my way around temporal anomalies…..), and came to a decision, a welcome, if somewhat unusual event. I’ve collected a number of random pearls that gave me a quick smile when I read them this morning, or a quick spurt of recognition of truth, as the case may have been. You’ll find them below…. As well, you will find, if you read them all straight through, just letting them wash over your awareness, you will end up feeling a little lighter of heart…. and if not, well, you still can…. Just loosen your metaphoric shoelaces…..

“Eek!” — Smart Bee

What do you call a potato that commits a crime? A perpetater.
(I have not offered attribution for this wonderful pun, as I felt anyone who contributed this wouldn’t want their name published…..except, maybe, me…..Alas, I didn’t do it….)

“Being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.”
“It isn’t,” said the Caterpillar.
“Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,” said Alice;
“but when you have to turn into a chrysalis —
you will some day, you know —
and then after that into a butterfly,
I should think you’ll feel it a little queer, won’t you?”
“Not a bit,” said the Caterpillar.”

— Charles Dodgson (Lewis Carroll) — Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter V

“Art is anything you can get away with.” — Marshall McLuhan.

“Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road.  I asked it why.  It told me it  was none of my business.” — Steven Wright

“Artificial hearts are nothing new. Politicians have had them for years.” — Mack McGinnis

Fifty flippant frogs
Walked by on flippered feet
And with their slime they made the time
Unnaturally fleet.

~~ Smart Bee

“While my BRAINPAN is being refused service in BURGER KING, Jesuit priests are DATING CAREER DIPLOMATS!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

Okay, then…… kick those shoes off, and relax. The sun came up, and is likely to keep on doing so….. No worries!

🙂
__________________________________

It occurs to me that today’s effort is a pretty good reflection of reality…. and if I have to explain THAT impression now, we might never get out of here…. so, I’ll just leave it at that. This Pearl does have the inimitable characteristic common to all of my best, and worst, Pearls, that is to say, it is done. Done to death, some might say, but done, nonetheless, and as such, according to my ongoing policy, it is also finished, and will be submitted to the Gentle Readership for their perusal, and any entertainment they may find in it….. I, such as I am, shall go post it at the library, and be done with it, which, as I say, is the best part…. Timing, remember, is everything….  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Age before beauty, beauty before fish sauce….

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Ffolkes,
In the beginning, there was fish sauce…. and not much else. Of course, this was because things were still new and confusing, and no one had even thought about ice cream, or margaritas. But, the weather was good, so it was okay with most everybody…… people didn’t used to be so greedy. Then, of course, came the rules, first set up by a preacher, and things have gone downhill ever since…..

Life got really hard once there were rules, because, hey, no more fish sauce at bedtime, and folks have been playing the blues ever since that fateful day. We’d probably all rather have the fish sauce, but the blues are a pretty good trade-off, when you stop to think about it. And nobody pays any attention any more to the preachers, so things will get better, unless we start that old politics thing again. Boy, every time we try that crap, somebody’s got to get all elitist and big-mouth, dissing everybody else and hogging all the money, which we need for ice cream and guitar picks….. I hate when that happens….

So, rather than fall prey to the depredations of rogue politicos, or assholes, as we call them downtown, I think we should go diving in the web for pearls, & see if we can find some really shiny ones…. Toothsome, over at adollyisciousirony, also known as All About Lemon, her blog site, has started another game, a story game, and today’s first section will talk about that…. Shall we Pearl?…..
__________________________________

One of my absolute favorite blog sites is called All About Lemon, aka adollyisciousirony, or Toothsome’s Place…. Dolly posts the most amazing stuff, and is always starting a new game for bloggers to play along…. Now we have the Story Game…. Dolly gives the first five words of a story, then the next blogger writes five more, then another blogger writes five more words, and so on to the end of the story that develops, with each blogger tagging one of their blogging friends or followers to provide the next five words, AND, with each blogger providing a link to the original post, to the tagger’s post, and to their site, where they’ve listed their five words…. Once the words are written, that blogger then tags another blogger to give five more words, and so on… So, the original story line started here, …….

http://allaboutlemon.com/toothsome-story-game/    …….  

with these five words from Dolly…”Once upon a Toothsome Day,”……

then, Illustrious Illustrator Mark Armstrong added, “a truck full of donuts” at his site, here: 

http://wp.me/PRFVr-1DO

So, now we have, “Once upon a Toothsome Day, a truck full of donuts…”

Linda Vernon, the next taggee, added these words, …..  “pulled up at Al’s house…”

as listed on Linda’s post at: 

http://lindavernon.wordpress.com/falderal/   

Linda, to my surprise, tagged me follow her, so…… here is my response, with five more words of brilliance, of course….. The story now reads…..

“Once upon a Toothsome Day, a truck pulled up at Al’s house….”

My contribution is: “leaking glazed all-bran crullers”…..  So, the story now goes like this….

“Once upon a Toothsome Day, a truck pulled up at Al’s house, leaking glazed all bran crullers…..”

Now, it becomes the turn of the person who I am tagging, and that person is:  WillowDot21, from her site here:

http://willowdot21.wordpress.com/  

Good Luck Willow!

Keep an eye on Dolly’s site to see the eventual finished product of our fooling about……
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Denial of Comfort

Baleful chairs become the enemy, heralded in red
seemingly welcome softness beckons with a smile,
waiting, content with slaughter, they are finally led
screaming in agony, deluged in venom all the while.

Desperate distraction becomes such a friendless fire
for all the patterns of autumn’s pale dismay,
leaving sincerely latent trails in spirals of twisted wire,
while memory insists upon failure, palpably evil, and fey.

Fat, jaded tears would have fallen in good time,
if only the suitable suitor had scaled the garden’s wall.
Credence for discounted prices luckily in their prime
bring only fascinated eyes into such a hallowed hall.

Searching for answers is ever a clever portrayal
with studious accouterments to fulfill each common rule.
Arguably patient pictures of science and honest betrayal
shall evermore languish, in light of passion so elegantly cruel.

~~ gigoid

Ouch, that hurt…..

“I was reading the dictionary.  I thought it was a poem about everything.” — Steven Wright
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Where else can you find intellectual games, with no pressure to win, that allow you to pick your own conclusions, other than right here, exploring consensual reality with me? Nowhere, that’s where…. So, here is another old-fashioned pearl for your perusal, with the conclusion right there in plain sight, for anyone to see…. it’s Hobson’s choice, all over again….

Politics is what happens to democracy when not enough people care. — Anonymous, Thursday, 1992

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from  Heaven.  As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, “A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created.”
“This is true,” He replied.
“He will need laws,” said the Demon slyly.
“What!   You, his appointed Enemy for all Time!  You ask for the right to make his laws?”
“Oh, no!”  Satan replied, “I ask only that he be allowed to make his own.”
It was so granted.

— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill  in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.” — Voltaire

“A man that expects to train lobsters to fly in a year is called a lunatic and is locked up. But a man that thinks people can be turned into angels by legislation is called a reformer and allowed to walk free.” — Mr. Dooly

Sometimes, it’s just too easy….. but, somebody’s got to do it…..   🙂
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Well, that was a thoroughly enjoyable Pearl to make, other than the poem, which hurt like hell getting it out. But, better out than in, as I always say….. And, it’s cost effective, too! The overhead is really low on that stuff….. but, I know you’re not interested in the economics of writing a blog, any more than I am, so we’ll just forget all that, and bid thee adieu for another day…..  Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

 

All bets were on the used carbuncle….

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7

Ffolkes,
Oddity after oddity assails my senses. Torn between sleep and awake, and never ready for either one. Yes, I’d like to sleep, and yes, I’d like to dance, but the music isn’t very rhythmic, nor is the pillow soft. Clouds and colonoscopy don’t match my memory of how to succeed at business, but it does sell well. From yesterday all the way to today, I have counted the evens, and disregarded the odds, which is the only way to bet that the governor won’t tax it into submission. I don’t know, maybe we should just lay down our weapons, even if we aren’t going to surrender. Then we can have some pie ala mode…. and some coffee…..

Yes, please, some coffee…. I have made a serious miscalculation, and have run out of coffee. I am sitting here trying not to bite myself, hard, for being such an idiot. You see above what it can do to me…. that was supposed to be a haiku, and look what it turned into…. scary shit, if you ask me….. I think I’m hallucinating….. if not, then I wish I was, because this is the pits. I haven’t had this serious a withdrawal reaction in long time…. but then, it’s been a long time since I last had to do without coffee in the morning……

Rather than spend a long time complaining about it, I’m going to dive right in and start looking for material…. Shall we Pearl?

“Being normal isn’t one of my strengths.” — Smart Bee
___________________________________

Caution: Old School Pearl Ahead. Gird Your Grids For A Big One…..

“Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other.  Their families came and took them away.  Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other.  One of them looked at the other and said, “So. What did you think?” — Steven Wright

A monk said to Joshu, “I have just entered this monastery. Please teach me.”
“Have you eaten your breakfast?” Joshu asked.
“Yes, I have,” replied the student.
“Then you had better wash your bowl.”
— Smart Buddhist Bee

“TAPPING?  You POLITICIANS!  Don’t you realize that the END of the “Wash Cycle” is a TREASURED MOMENT for most people?!” — Zippy the Pinhead

“I’ll get you my pretty,  and your little dog too!” — Wicked Witch of the East

“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” — Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne

There, that should do it…. I’ve made this as clear as mud, obviously…. Don’t worry, though, it won’t be on the test…. In fact, it won’t even count toward graduation, not that we care about stuff like that…. But, it does make a good point, yes?  Nod your head…..
___________________________________

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school where children played,
Their lessons scarcely done;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then ‘t is centuries; but each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses’ heads
Were toward eternity.

— Emily Dickinson

I think this is Emily’s best known poem, and I know it is one of my favorites. It needs no adornment…. “Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me…..”   Absolutely brilliant!
___________________________________

If his IQ was two points higher he’d be a rock. — Smart Bee

Normally, (as if that word had any meaning here…) I don’t use derogatory digs such as this one, unless it fits the humorous point I am trying to inject. If I don’t like someone, I’ll usually just call them an asshole, and be done with it.  In Mitt the Twitt’s case, I am making an exception, as I believe, after having had to listen to his drivel now for ages too long, that he deserves every foul name or insulting phrase we can throw at him. Not since Nixon have I felt such a burning lack of respect for a political figure, bordering on murderous hatred. Yes, I know, I don’t hold any of them in particularly high regard, but this guy has reached new levels of audacity in his quest for the brass ring, and for the title of The World’s Richest Asshole.

I’ll bet I can guess why he doesn’t want to release his tax returns…. I mean, other than the fact that a closer look at them might have the IRS doing the same, and deciding that an audit of his returns might be in order.  No, I’m betting that those returns will show exactly how he got so damn rich.

I’m betting that most of the money he has made with Bain Capital and the other money-laundering corporations he created, came from investors who were cheated out of retirement funds, or out of their life savings, by the sharks at these companies who solicit money for their schemes. I’m betting that those returns show that he has lied and cheated the American people repeatedly and often, all at his instigation, and with his approval.

Well, okay, maybe not active approval so much as indifferent denial; he may not have signed off on the schemes that netted him so much return, but he sure didn’t make any effort to see that it was of benefit to anyone but himself. As long as the money keeps rolling in, he doesn’t give a damn who suffers because of that. To him, the man on the street is only a mark, a fool and his money, and he doesn’t care a whit about whatever suffering is created by his business practices. “It’s just business….”

It’s gotten to the point now where I am about ready to talk to the man myself. He is in dire need of a dose of being read to from the Book of Righteousness, and I would be happy to do the reading. And I will say this….. if it looks as if there is even the remotest chance of his election, this country will be in danger of another Civil War. His divisive tactics and complete dishonesty are already causing a lot of murmuring under the radar, and a political disaster, such as his actual election to office, will only make things worse than they are now.

Of course, such a conflict might cause him and his cronies to drop the charade, and order out the National Guard to fight against American citizens. Hell, it might go so far as to have him declare martial law, and throw the Constitution and the Bill of Rights all the way out the window…. It wouldn’t surprise me a bit, as it is something that the beloved ruling class has been hoping for, because, in spite of what may seem like otherwise, they have more guns, and they won’t hesitate to use them, even on their own countrymen….

Perhaps my bilious state just now can be attributed to a lack of coffee. If so, so what? It doesn’t alter reality, and the reality is that Mitt the Twitt is possibly the greatest danger this country has ever faced. He and his ilk are making their bid to take complete control of everything, right in front of us. Hell, they are such good liars they’ve got millions of really, really stupid people already convinced they are honest, upright men, and have the public’s well-being in mind. In fact, Mitt is a congenital liar, as well as a religious fanatic, who wants nothing more than the complete subjugation of all non-white, non-Mormon, poor Americans. (“Poor” being relative…. to Mitt, anything under $250,000/year is peanuts….).

Ptah! Thppt!  Talking about these assholes has given me a dry mouth….. I don’t know ffolkes…. It looks pretty bad some days, and today is one of those days…. Ah well, at least the Twitt is busy running around Europe sticking his foot in his mouth, and we don’t have to listen to him directly…. until he gets back…. Maybe we’ll get lucky, and he’ll get caught at the airport trying to smuggle in a new dancing horse…. or better yet, a new domestic servant that he picked up in Africa….. It could work….. Ya think?……
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All things considered, I feel lucky to have been able to complete today’s Pearl. If the rest of the day goes like this, well, I’m not sure what I’ll do…. I suppose I’ll just have to take it as it comes, and deal with it as best I may….. Y’all take care out there, and May the Metaphorse be with you…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Wing nuts fried in color-fast bleach…

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Ffolkes,
I surrender….. My email wins, or rather the WP email ‘bots win. I got busy yesterday running errands for real life, and couldn’t get to all the email that came in. So, I figured I’d get up early and knock it down this morning, from the 150 that I left in there last night when I crashed. This morning there are 268 in my Inbox….. and by the time I finish this Pearl, that will no doubt grow to an even 300…..

I can’t keep up. There are at least two bloggers that are publishing about 30 times a day each, one with pictures I have no interest in seeing (in addition, he will often post the same article or pictures four or five times in a row, within minutes of each other), and one with re-blogs of just about every blog they visit. Then at least one a day from the over 140 blogs I follow….. I’m dead…. I’ll never get caught up, unless I get ruthless and just delete all the ones I have now, without reading any, to get caught up.

SIGH…. a dilemma, and the only other way to cut back the emails is to Unfollow a bunch of folks. I don’t want to have to do that, for several reasons, one of which is that I’m a softy, and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings if I can help it…..

I’m sure others have this problem, too; how do you deal with it? Is there a way to turn off the email notifications without unfollowing a blog? I’d ask WP but it seems to take forever to get a response, if they answer at all, so I’m asking y’all first; if you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave them in the comments, and thanks in advance for anything you can tell me….

Housekeeping out of the way, we can now get down to the whole point of this getting up early….. a Pearl….. shall we, then, go Pearling? Let’s do…..
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And the night shall be filled with music,
And the cares that infest the day
Shall fold their tents like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.
— Henry W. Longfellow (1807-1882) — The Day is done

Apparently, what has stolen away is my Muse…. pearls seem to be hiding from me, inspiration is AWOL, and she’s nowhere to be found. I am almost tempted to fall back into the Assassin’s story from yesterday, just to get things moving. I hate to set a precedent like that, though, they can become habits too quickly. Now if only Longfellow’s poem would come true, and my cares were all to fade away, maybe they would find the Muse and send her home…. it may be the only hope I have….

“You know that feeling when you’re leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip over? Well, that’s how I feel all the time.” — Steven Wright

Well, maybe not all the time, but right now for sure…. the search for a suitable pearl goes on…..

Baby! Baby! oo-ah oo-ah! Baby! Baby! oo-ah oo-ah! — Not Smart Bee, I hope….

Okay, that’s it… all this time and effort, and THIS is what I can find…. more than just pathetic, it is beginning to look like conspiracy….. and the only thing to do in that case is to go back to bed…. I’ll see you in a while….. Sometimes, one has to retreat in order to have any chance to win….. Patience, I’ll be back (Ouch, sorry…. didn’t mean to inflict any Arnie on y’all….)   Hang in there…..
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I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert.  Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read.
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains.    Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
— Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822), “Ozymandias” (1819)

Apparently, going back to bed for a couple of hours helped…. can’t yet say if my Muse has shown up, but within moments of resuming my search, the above showed up. Even without the lesson this poem teaches (of humility before the sands of Time) its sheer beauty is enough to have it grace this page. I am encouraged, and we shall now resume the search for more pearls with a lighter heart…..
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“Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile!” — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Here is a subject upon which I’ll bet I can rant without any warm-up, mostly because I happen to agree with the sentiment completely. I find this quality in a human being to be incomprehensible, as well as scary, and often wonder how such folks live to the age they have achieved, considering their lack of survival skills. Mother Nature is usually not kind to those who would ignore her rules and regulations, (and she doesn’t care why….) choosing instead to live with their heads cocooned in cotton; for most of history such folks as can do this were summarily executed by the Universe at large, a sentence generally carried out in short order when proof of their stupidity arose. “Oh, look! It’s one of those pretty sabertooth kittens…. how cute! Here, kitty, kitty…..”  Or some similar event; you get the picture, I’m sure….

“What a fool cannot learn he laughs at, thinking that by his laughter he shows superiority instead of latent idiocy.” — M. Corelli

However, as civilization has progressed, the penalties for such actions have been downgraded, due to the advances in medicine, and cultural mores that dictate how the weaker and more vulnerable in society are helped to survive (more of that faith-based denial of natural law….). Now, instead of being summarily removed from the gene pool, these walking statues, with heads of marble, are not only kept alive, they are kept alive long enough to breed, thus increasing their numbers, and providing more candidates for the churches and institutions that rely on their numbers for new recruits, recruits who will never question what they are told…..

It is a vicious, self-sustaining cycle, which will last right up to the point of species extinction that we are rapidly approaching….. It won’t bother them much when the world ends because they will deny it right to the end, but it is going to be a scary ride for those of us who have their eyes wide open…. for sure……

“Der christliche Entschluss, die Welt h\”asslich und schlecht zu finden, hat die Walt h\”asslich und schlecht gemacht.”
(The Christian determination to find the word hideous and bad, has made the world hideous and bad.)
— Friedrich Nietzsche
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“Well, here I am in AMERICA..  I LIKE it.  I HATE it. I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it.  I HATE it.  I LIKE it. I HATE it.  I LIKE..  EMOTIONS are SWEEPING over me!!” — Zippy the Pinhead

I’m very close to pulling out what little hair is left on my head…. This is the best I’ve found in the last 30 minutes, and to say the least, I’m very disappointed. Though it is strange enough to tickle my whimsy, it isn’t strong enough to carry me into either a rant or a subtle discussion of hidden meaning; there isn’t any!  I’m going to have to resort to drastic measures, I guess…. I’ve never encountered such a dearth of material. Every oyster I see is pearl-free and now it looks as if the beds themselves are shifting and moving, trying to hide from me. Well, one more try…..
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The mossy marbles rest
On the lips that he has prest
In their bloom;
And the names he loved to hear
Have been carved for many a year
On the tomb.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) — The Last Leaf

One may always trust poetry to save the day. Or, if not save it, at least support it long enough to get done with the day’s work. These two short tastes of beauty and grace will serve to end this fiasco for today, and carry it into tomorrow, when I trust I shall find reality to have resumed a more amenable shape, bursting with pearls, and more grist for my mill…. I only hope these do not serve as an elegy…..

So perish all, whose breast ne’er learn’d to glow
For others’ good, or melt at others’ woe.
— Alexander Pope (1688-1744) — To the Memory of an Unfortunate Lady, Line 45
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I believe today’s offering has reached a new pinnacle of weird…. I felt the whole time as if I were swimming through cotton candy or spider webs, pulling at me, sticking to my legs and arms, and keeping me from getting anywhere. I will need to think about this today, it has been a severe struggle; I’m already exhausted, it isn’t 9 AM yet, and I have a lot more to do today. (Without even thinking about the 300 emails awaiting my reluctant attention…..

Well, so be it…. pissing and moaning about it isn’t going to get anything done, so I’ll leave it at that…… Here is hoping that your day goes better than mine has begun. I plan to go hence and try to persuade things to move along more in my chosen direction, so, we’ll see…. As long as I can avoid any further attention from Murphy, I should be okay…… Y’all take care out there….. and May the Metaphorse be with you….

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Even aged literati won’t bow or scrape before six….

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Ffolkes,
At 0607 in the morning, I don’t expect my reaction time to be at maximum, nor am I be surprised to find my mind less than fully awake and prepared for immediate use, at least not for any use of sustained duration, or of a complex nature. But, it is a bit embarrassing to sit here and watch the screen-saver come on, while vacantly staring at the screen, and to still be frantically searching the empty, echoing corridors of my thus-far uninspired mind for an opening statement or idea. I have the screen saver set to come on after 3 minutes of no user activity, so I am forced to admit that I sat here and blankly stared for at least that long. Pathetic…..

On further reflection, however, I can see that having the screen-saver pop on has acted as some sort of release, or stimulation, if you will, and the words are now flowing. I guess serendipity comes in different colors and shapes after all…. whatever the case may be, I’ll take it.

I’ve learned not to question such little gifts from the universe; if I did, they might cease to happen, and so far, they’ve been responsible for some of my best work (and, in fact, have often been responsible for the creation of ANY work at all…..). Now, if I could only see what to write about next, I’d be good to go…… can’t have everything, I suppose. As Steven Wright said, “Of course you can’t have everything. Where would you put it all?”

Since I already lack sufficient storage space, we’ll just get on with the business at hand….. shall we Pearl?…
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We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. — Proverb

This is the sort of pearl that is much, much deeper than it appears at first glance. (Note: It seems common to find the most complex and deep issues described or related in very short sentences. Hmm…. probably something to do with K.I.S.S., which the universe believes in strongly…) Applied as a metaphor for human interactions with reality, the proverb assumes an even greater degree of relevance, as it implies both choice and hope. Both are always present, but not always in view; such aphorisms as this can help one to find where they are standing, hidden in plain sight…

It is clear to most by now that reality does not adjust to our desires; any adjustments made must be on our part, as we have absolutely no power to change any aspect of reality other than our response to it. A hard lesson, one that many never learn, or come to terms with, and one which guarantees they will find life to be one long struggle, as they spend their days in doomed attempts to make what is into what they wish it to be. To use the analogy provided, they never learn to trim the sails of their vessel, and find themselves constantly fighting with, and cursing, the wind, never realizing their own lack of understanding is what sends them into uncharted waters.

Thus, from simplicity does great wisdom arise; to reach our desired destination in life, one must learn to trim and adjust the sails of our vessel, to make the best use of the wind that the universe sends in our direction. Or, more plainly, we can only make changes to ourselves, not to reality. Learning this one simple lesson can turn a life out of balance completely around, and give it the direction and stability it has ever sought, enabling the most troubled soul to sail into the light, and out of the darkness that engulfs those who argue with reality…..
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“I think the sky is blue because it’s a shift from black through purple to blue, and it has to do with where the light is.   You know, the farther we get into darkness, and there’s a shifting of color of light into the blueness, and I think as you go farther and farther away from the reflected light we have from the sun or the light that’s bouncing off this earth, uh, the darker it gets … I think if you look at the color scale, you start at black, move it through purple, move it on out, it’s the shifting of color.  We mentioned before about the stars singing, and that’s one of the effects of the shifting of colors.” — Pat Robertson, The 700 Club

At last! The true, unacknowledged, but obvious, proof of how the concept of Christian Science came to be…… This has to be one of the finest examples I’ve ever seen of a man who, a) had no idea when he started to speak of what he meant to say, and b) opted to “fake it” and just make something up. Pat has apparently been listening to his own hype, and is convinced that, if it comes out of his mouth, it must be divinely inspired….

I imagine that the God that Pat claims to speak for lets him get away with shit like this because He is too busy laughing His divine Ass off to do anything about it. No point in throwing the lightning bolt too long after the causal event; no one would get the lesson. Plus, why give up such a cheap form of entertainment?….. It’s not like Hee Haw, or Laugh In, is still on the air….. and I imagine even God needs a break every so often from listening to Pat, or Oral, or Jim-boy, to keep from frying them in their tracks on live TV…. even He thinks twice about scaring the cattle, er, paying customers, er, congregation……
___________________________________

“The greater your need to make a good catch, the greater the probability your partner will deliver his worst throw.  (If you can’t touch it, you can’t trick it.)” — The Ninth Commandment of Frisbee — Dan Roddick

Ah, sweet memory! I’ve previously mentioned my status as a hippie, forged during the late 1960’s in Berkeley, at the UC where I attended post-high-school. My life and times in the birthplace of hippie culture during this era of societal change imbued me with a true and complete set of hippie skills and attributes. I play guitar and sing folk music. I wear my hair long. I am politically active, dedicated to peace, brotherhood, and love. And, I am a master of the Frisbee. Well, used to be. Now I’d probably throw myself into a world of hurt if I even made the simplest toss, even if I warmed up first. But, back in the day, (what does that mean, exactly? Which day?….. slang is funky sometimes….) trick catches were one of my specialties, and I can attest to the accuracy of the Ninth Commandment.

One of my best tricks involved a softly hovering throw that approaches the catcher on a level about waist high. I would first kick the disc in the center, on the fly, knocking it straight up, but keeping it spinning in a hover. I’d then step under it, and bump it as it came down, right in the center again, with the top of my head. It went up again, and as it came down, still spinning, I’d strike it with one finger, again in the center, to send it back up again. On the fourth time the disc descended, I would catch it on one finger, in the center, and watch it spin there until I flipped it up and grabbed it with a flourish, or just let the spin run out and let it hang on the finger as it stopped.

In reading back over that passage, I can see that it would definitely be more impressive to see than it is to read…… but, it sure felt good when I nailed the trick, and it invariably impressed any girls in the vicinity; at 19 or 20 years-old, that was key….. especially if I hit the immediate throw back to my compatriot with a double-skip, right to his moving target…. Always a crowd-pleaser, the double-skip…
___________________________________

A programmer from a very large computer company went to a software conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying: “What sort of programmers work for other companies? They behaved badly and were unconcerned with appearances.  There hair was long and unkempt and their clothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed our hospitality suite and they made rude noises during my presentation.”

The manager said: “I should have never sent you to the conference. Those programmers live beyond the physical world. They consider life absurd, an accidental coincidence. They come and go without knowing limitations. Without a care, they live only for their programs. Why should they bother with social conventions?”

They are alive within the Tao.

Yesterday, a short discussion was posted here on the subject of hacker culture, and the myths and philosophy popular among those who program computers, the ones who write the programs the rest of us use every day…. This pseudo koan exemplifies the type of thinking that permeates the culture, perfectly describing how true hackers see themselves.

As a group, hackers are highly educated in comparison to the general population, and share a certain predilection for science fiction and fantasy literature and media, mythology, philosophy, (particularly Zen Buddhism and Taoism), and properly spoken and written English (very important in computer programming; computers are VERY literal, and precise use of the language is a key element of creating successful programs, i.e. programs that actually perform as requested….) Hacker jargon assumes a deep knowledge of the subjects pertinent to them, and shows not vicious, but amused disdain for “normals”. Ambitions among hackers involve successful hacks, or writing the code for a major OS, or some other piece of programming that achieves industry-wide acceptance and acclimation; to become a demi-god is the ultimate goal, one whose name is familiar to anyone who writes code.

Contrary to many segments of society at large, where too much education creates mistrust, and the most admired qualities are simplicity and acquiescence to being average, in hacker culture, complexity, elegance, wit, a defiant roguishness, and strong math skills are qualities admired by all, and the status of demi-god is sought after assiduously by every individual who considers themselves to be a true programmer…. and demi-gods aren’t required, or expected, to act like normal folks….

“The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs.” — Joseph Weizenbaum, _Computer Power and Human Reason_
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“And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.” — William Shakespeare (1564-1616), The Two Gentlemen of Verona — Act ii, Sc. 1

Okay, so we all know how Will the Thrill failed to make my most wanted list by now, so I won’t go into that. But, more evidence in my argument’s favor keeps cropping up, and this is a fine example. Though I know it is likely a bit clearer if taken in context to the surrounding action in the play, still, this line is just about as obscure as can be. I’m certain that the reaction from the audiences who first were exposed to this was the same as mine; I immediately thought, upon reading it, “HUH? What did you say?” My next thoughts were, in approximate order, “Let me outta here! I’m late for an appointment! I hear my mom calling! I’m on a mission from God! Anything! Just don’t make me listen to that again!”

Perhaps I can make myself clearer re: this opinion by making a small analogy. If Will The Middle English Thrill were alive today, who do you think he would most resemble, in terms of his fame, his literary and/or entertainment skills and accomplishments, and his overall status as a celebrity?  In my inner eye, a picture of Michael Jackson and Madonna fight over who is to pop up first. That frightening image is replaced by Stephen King, which is even more frightening. In a final attempt to find an acceptable comparison that is also accurate enough for my purposes, my third thought was “Aha!” followed by an old image of Yoko Ono sitting with John Lennon on a white bed….. I suppose John Lennon isn’t such a bad comparison, but Yoko Ono? Please… spare me…. and please spare me from any more Shakespeare…. that overblown twit….
___________________________________

Well, it’s another fine mess I’ve created here, now, isn’t it? Fear not, I’m nothing if not accommodating; you’ll find a box of handi-wipes by the door as you leave the building. I’ve found it to be a well-appreciated amenity after sessions such as this one. Just remember, please, to dispose of them in the proper receptacle, also placed near the exit door for your convenience, and painted a bright orange so you can’t miss it…..

In the words of the prophet, ta ta, then, luvs….. y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Kowabunga!

Playing with a crooked cue….

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Ffolkes,
I realized as I sat here this morning that it has now been a year, just a bit more, actually, since I started this particular series of Pearls of Virtual Wisdom. It originally started as a way to blow off steam built up by caring for Mom when she was so ill last January, and eventually morphed into what you see before you today. This constitutes, as near as I can figure, 365+ days straight of writing a Pearl. All of a sudden I’m exhausted…..:-) Let’s go have some fun…..
___________________________________

“…and before I knew what I was doing, I had kicked the typewriter and threw it around the room and made it beg for mercy.  At this point the typewriter pleaded for me to dress him in feminine attire but instead I pressed his margin release over and over again until the typewriter lost consciousness. Presently, I regained consciousness and realized with shame what I had done.  My shame is gone and now I am looking for a submissive typewriter, any color, or model.  No electric typewriters please!” — Rick Kleiner

Often, after composing one of these morning Pearls, I can empathize with Mr. Kreiner very closely. I’ve been known to take myself right back to bed some mornings, as there is nowhere else soft to crawl to….writing every day in a creative manner is a much harder thing to do than it is to imagine. A lot more goes into the things we read online, or in a newspaper, or even on TV, than we know of, looking from the outside.

The writer must not only write creatively, but within certain guidelines that can, at times, limit the creative urge. Once it is done, then it must be edited for errors and syntax, for style, for clarity. After at least 3 edits, it will finally be in a form suitable to be published. This, of course, makes no mention of research beforehand, or searching for pictures, videos, or links that may go with the material. It is a lot more work than it looks like from the outside, for sure. This could be why so many give up trying to write; it’s more work than they wanted. I suppose one could say that’s a metaphor for life, eh?……
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“One must not be mean with the affections; what is spent of the fund is renewed in the spending itself.” — Sigmund Freud

Boy, you can sure tell Freud was a psychiatrist, and too-heavily influenced by his own reputation. What a long winded way of saying you can’t get or give too many hugs! Even that long-winded story about Warm Fuzzies I read about 40 years ago was easier to understand than this one sentence from Siggy.

And that, I think, points to the problem encountered by a lot of philosophers, or doctors, or any other well-educated people who share their thoughts with others when they write. They have read a lot, and thought about what they’ve read; to many of them, this is a source of pride, and they tend to use the language far too formally, constructing long, meandering sentences, with lots of commas and semi-colons, that take the reader on a walk through the dictionary (sort of like this sentence).

The difficulty with this is it tends to take away from the actual content of what is being read, focusing the reader’s attention on the words and how they are put together, rather than on what the words mean. Siggy’s sentence above is a perfect example of this; all he really needed to say is; Hugs feel good, and you can never run out of them……and that’s the truth, so there, thpppppt!…..
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“Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master.  Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.” — George Washington

It makes perfect sense to me that the founding fathers of this country, Washington included, would be wary of a strong central government. After all, that is what they endured for many years leading up to the Revolutionary War. They had a profound distrust of a government that had unlimited power over the populace, and used that power to oppress; that distrust eventually brought them to the point of action.

We, however, the beneficiaries of their work and wisdom, have neglected to follow through with the responsibility they left us, i.e., to remain informed and alert to any wrong-doing by government officials. We didn’t pay close enough attention, and allowed their worn-out, frightful rhetoric to stampede us into abject fear, thereby allowing them (the government) to legislate our rights into dust. We have no one but ourselves to blame, and if society continues to allow the government to dictate to them what is right and wrong, then we deserve our chosen lot, i.e., slaves…….

“If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?” — Will Rogers (1879-1935)
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Terror at Constitution Hall

Standing quiet, waiting on hope’s bright wing,
a stranger heralds the gift of Time.
Lyrical, spherical melodies we sing,
yet with silence, as a mime.

If fortune favors the bold and free,
truth may be spoken with courage unveiled.
But fortune oft is capricious and cruel,
and truth is naught but cold, with freedom failed.

Humanity has rights, ’tis often said,
if courage and truth can prevail.
If fear and ignorance are the diet we’re fed,
Life without liberty will be the end to this tale.

gigoid

“I think that 95 percent of what passes for art in this world is complete and utter shit. And 4 of the other 5 percent is shit with an asterisk. But oh, that 1 percent makes you proud to be a human, doesn’t it?” — Dennis Miller

I feel humbled, yet human….. I think it’s worth an asterisk, at least….
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“If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?” — Steven Wright, 1994

So that’s why the spell-checkers never work right!  Heisenberg sticks his nose in everywhere, eh? And if I need to explain that, well, I’m afraid you’ll be waiting a long time, because learning what I needed to know in order to make the reference took a long time, too, and would be inappropriate in this venue. Besides, I’m not entirely certain that I know, either. Just because I make a joke doesn’t mean it has to be funny, now does it? Of course not….but it is pretty funny, so I’d suggest you look up Heisenberg’s equations, and an explanation of what they imply….. here’s a clue…

— ‘Shit Happens’ according to… Heisenberg: Shit happened, we just don’t know where.
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Well, I think I’ve done enough damage for one morning. I’m gonna go play Whack the Mole for awhile (I pasted politicians’ faces on the moles), then go back to bed. A great start to a rainy day….. y’all take care out there…..

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!

Hey! This cue ball isn’t round!…

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Ffolkes,
Hello…..I’m trying to find myself.  Has anyone seen me lately? So frustrating; I just set myself down yesterday, and when I got up, I wasn’t there anymore. I hate when this happens. It just throws a monkey wrench into my works, and I have to spend an unknown period of wasted time looking for myself in all the places I hide.  This time, I think I must have come up with a new place, because I’m not in any of the old places. Oh well, for today, we’ll just have to go on without me. You go ahead, I’ll catch up…..
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Women, cats, and golf; man was not meant to understand these things.

If this isn’t true, it should be. I can attest in all three areas that trying to understand any of them is fruitless. Golf, for me, isn’t a terribly big issue; I didn’t take it up until I was almost 40, so I don’t feel bad that knowledge of its deep magic may never be mine. Cats, in my opinion, are also unpredictable in their interactions. Cats were worshiped as gods in ancient Egypt, and they have never forgotten; it shows in their disdain for any mere human rules. And women! Boy, like any man my age, I could spend days recounting how many ways women have shown me that anything I think I know about them is ridiculously, pathetically useless in figuring out how to deal with them. No matter how well one knows a woman, they can change at the drop of a name, and exhibit characteristics we’ve never seen before, anywhere or when. It is a wise man indeed who keeps this knowledge in the forefront of awareness in his dealing with women; it’s the only chance we have of emerging from the contact unscathed. But, you know what? For all three of them, I wouldn’t have it any other way…..because it just makes them more attractive as a goal to know that bringing out the best in each will be challenging. And challenges, met with courage and wit, make us stronger, and feel more alive…..
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“Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road.  I asked it why.  It told me it  was none of my business.” — Steven Wright

Steven Wright’s may be the strangest mind ever produced by humans. I love the way his vision distorts the reality that the rest of us normally perceive, twisting it into some of the oddest configurations anyone has ever seen, and each is more hilarious than the last. When I used the old format for Pearls, at least once a year, I’d collect several of his jokes to present in a group, just because it was a great way to break rhythm, and it was always one of the best received productions of the year.

His genius lies, I think, in the way he can make ordinary life appear to be 180 degrees from where it actually is, and still make us see it as normal. The contrast between what he sees as normal, and our own, is what produces the laughter, just as if you had walked into a door and were forced to laugh at yourself. I’m just glad that he is alive now, and giving the world his unique take; it’s good to know that since he’s near my age, I’ll have had his humor to help me get through for almost my entire life. That’s a good thing; one can never have too many sources to help us laugh, even if, and especially if, it is at ourselves…..
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“He who learns but does not think, is lost!  He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.” — Confucius

“He who does neither is eligible to join the crowd as a Republican candidate for the Presidency in 2012.” — gigoid

Although there are moments, when I’m reading some new report on the latest verbal bomb from the Republican gallery of fools, that I despair for the race, I have to admit it’s really handy for us writers. Every day, sometimes several times, we are presented with a huge bounty of material by these folks, who seem to not only have the habit of shooting themselves in the foot, but seem to enjoy it, and, at best, are using it as a campaign tactic to draw attention. There isn’t even any need to go deep to look for stuff the politicos would rather you didn’t know, because they have taken it upon themselves to offer that information in their own statements, made obvious by their loquaciousness on certain subjects, and their reluctance to speak on others. It’s almost as if they are printing up pictures of themselves with arrows pointing to their most vulnerable points.

I really don’t understand how so many obviously unqualified and downright idiotic people ever got the notion that they could possibly do this. The only thing I can come up with is that they are completely out of touch with any sort of objective information, and have determined that their own subjective judgments are sufficient reason to qualify them for the Presidency. In other words, they are delusional, as that word is defined as “continuing to hold as truth information that has been proven false.” Now, do we really want anyone who suffers from delusional thinking to be the one holding the button that launches the nuclear holocaust? I don’ know about you, but I would give that question a resounding “NO!”…..and not feel a whit of guilt…..
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“The world is full of burled and gnarly knobs on which you can hang a metaphysical system. If you must.” — Edward Abbey

Here then is a logical mind. My evidence? His reluctance to impose an invented set of rules on a world that resists any such restraint is, in my mind, eminently sensible. Why do we have to make up stuff to try to explain how the universe functions? What quality does our curiosity have that compels us to seek out some kind of system to help us to deal with reality that simply exists, as it is, no ups, no extras needed? Humans seem to want some kind of order to their existence, and for some reason, can’t seem to come to terms with things the way they are. They seem to need to apply their own set of prejudices to the world, an impulse stemming from some unknown inner compulsion that has held back the tide of human progress for just about our entire history.

My own opinion is that human nature, being what it is, noted way back in the old days, that a man with no principles can manipulate other people through their own set of behavioral rules. By balancing a friendly, smiling face with a completely sociopathic conscience, they have been able to keep most of mankind in thrall ever since we first started farming and coming together in cities to trade. And they continue today to blithely steal and rob from us without compunction, and without consequence.  As a matter of fact the news of late has been full of evidence of their millennial-long hold over the rest of humanity. We (the gullible masses, as identified in 1935 by H. L. Mencken, who coined the word ‘the booboisie’) have even given them a name; we now call them the 1%.

“The distinctions separating the social classes are false; in the last analysis they rest on force.” — Albert Einstein

The battle lines for Armageddon have been drawn, and the combatants have chosen their sides; the war is coming, and I wouldn’t do a thing to stop it, because freeing ourselves from the people who live for power is our only hope for survival as a species. The 1% probably believes that they will be the only survivors of a world-wide catastrophe, and odds are, they may be right. But I’ll be damned if I’ll go without putting up an epic fight, for my life, and my liberty……

“We have met the enemy, and he is us.” — Walt Kelly (in POGO)
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Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest sea,
Yet never in extremity
It asked a crumb of me.
— Emily Dickinson

We’ve all heard the question, in some form or another, “if you could talk to anyone in history for an hour, to whom would you ask to speak?”. Well, I’d want to talk to Emily……maybe it makes me strange (which is okay, and not entirely untrue), but I’d really like to be able to spend some time absorbing her world-view. According to reports she was rather reclusive, so it might be a struggle to get her to agree, but she is still the one I’d ask for. Having always wished I could be a better poet, I hold close to my heart the hope (as described so eloquently above) that by sharing space and thoughts with her for a time, perhaps some piece of her talent would transfer to my soul. SIGH…..one can always hope…..
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Today’s effort was just that…an effort. But, I’m glad to say I was up to the challenge, at least in a manner of speaking. Which when you think of it, about all I have to offer is my manner of speaking. Thus, having given of all I have, I shall bid thee adieu……y’all take care out there……

—
Sometimes I sits and thinks,
and sometimes
I just sits.

gigoid

Dozer

Kowabunga!